Xiaotopia - Xiaotopia

A Price to Pay - Ayato x f!reader

Summary: You first knew Ayato years ago. He was handsome, charming, and loved to provoke a reaction from you. Yet, the love of your life, the next head of the Kamisato clan, left you. Now he was at your door, shocked to see you were home. If you put your anger aside, perhaps you'd learn why he had to leave you. You were one of the few who can cause him to lose composure after all.

Other info: Angst with comfort, hurt/comfort, 2.6k words, spoilers for Ayato's story quest in the first paragraph

(Inspired by his story quest. I wondered if something in Ayato's past could've made him more personally invested in the main conflict of the quest and it somehow turned into this. I hope you enjoy it.)

Passing by the notice board caused your stomach to drop once again. You knew it was irrational. The wedding was cancelled because it was merely a rumor to begin with. Nonetheless, it left a bitter taste in your mouth, churning up memories you thought you had put to rest.

You stopped in your tracks when you saw a figure at the front door of your home. He was tall, handsome, and elegant as always. You knew him well, many years ago.

You sighed as you approached the door and Ayato was startled to see you. He adjusted the collar of his kimono and you scoffed at his action. Despite now being older and more accomplished, he had the same telling habits when he was in an uncomfortable situation. He had better feel ashamed.

"My apologies," he told you. "I did not expect you to be home."

"What? Your informants gave you the wrong info?"

You struggled with the key at the door and when it opened, you glanced back at him, only to raise a brow at his expression. It was brief, but you were sure you had seen a small smile from him. You disregarded it.

Blocking the entryway, you stood in front of him and crossed your arms. "Why are you here, commissioner?"

His eyes widened, but only slightly, before clearing his throat. "I have business to attend to with your father," he told you.

"For the upcoming festival? He has more pressing matters at the moment. He left me in charge of it for now."

"Ah. I shall return another day then," he said with a polite smile, proceeding to leave.

"If you need to discuss something with me, you might as well spare me the pain and say it now." There was a deeper meaning to your words but you dared not to mention it now.

He fiddled with his sleeve, unsure how to reply. He resorted to a shrug and a chuckle. "I thought you despised being in my presence."

"I do."

Lightning striked in the distance, an ominous sign the skies would pour down with rain any minute. You sighed over the unfortunate circumstances.

"Come inside," you told him. "I have quite a few drafts that need approval. I was going to ask Ayaka but it seems my point of contact has changed to… you."

You gestured to him to come inside, and just as he stepped into your home, a trickle of rain began.

The inside of your home felt a lot smaller than usual. It was never as big as the Kamisato estate, but the last time you were both here was when you were much younger. Your retainer rushed into the room to welcome Ayato and to see if he would care for any refreshments. You went to your office in the back to retrieve the paperwork for the festival.

When you returned to the living room, balancing a stack of binders, Ayato quickly came to your aid. You pushed his hand away and walked to the table before dumping all your work on it.

Over the next few hours, the two of you discussed the drafts of the posters, brochures and other signage for the event. You needed to verify the accuracy of the information, not wanting to give the illustrators and designers the wrong information.

There were quite a few vendors selling goods at the festival, so it was a challenge to consolidate all of their information. Fortunately, Ayato was competent at his job and was familiar with each one like the back of his hand. Almost all.

"There's one more vendor from Liyue," he told you. "But I can't quite remember the name."

"Qingce textiles? You mentioned them earlier today."

"No, not that," he said, placing a hand on his chin. "I don't know if the spelling is correct. I will require one of my retainers to verify it for me."

"No need. I'm familiar with them," you told him. "I frequented their store." You dragged your pen as you wrote out their name. Traveling to Liyue in the past was a nice change of pace from the busyness in Inazuma. No, not the busyness.

You went there after Ayato called off your engagement.

"Have you heard from Watatsumi fisheries?" you asked him. "My father last told me they were still deciding on participating in the festival. Many people waited in line at their stall last year."

"That's a pity. I was told they ran out of their last batch of fish. A certain hired hand left them on the boat to spoil."

You widened your eyes in panic, wondering how your friend was dealing with the situation. But after spotting the slight uptick of the corner of Ayato's mouth, you rolled your eyes and returned your papers.

"That shouldn't be a problem for you, correct?" you asked.

"Of course," he replied. "Thoma also informed me they have plenty in their storehouses. Besides, they still have quite a bit of time before the actual festival to obtain fresh fish."

"So ultimately, your information was irrelevant."

"Perhaps," he told you. As you shuffled more papers, Ayato glanced at your empty cup. "You should get some more tea."

"I'll ask Mizuda to fetch it for me."

"I was implying you needed a break. I can continue here."

Your heart skipped a beat without your permission. Why was it that just after being with him for a mere few hours made you forget that you hadn't conversed in years? You ground your teeth, hoping his business with you would end swiftly.

When you returned from your tea break, you walked back to the living room with a cup in your hand.

"Is that… boba?" he asked. He glanced outside the window as the rain continued to pour down. "Where did you get it?"

"I made it."

You held out the cup and he stared at the drink in front of him. When he took it, his fingers grazed over your hand and he almost dropped the cup in the process. You eyed him, questioning his behaviour and he apologized for his uncharacteristic clumsiness.

The next few minutes were strange. Ayato knocked your biscuits off of their plate when reaching for a new sheet of paper. His sleeve got caught on the edge of his boba cup and caused it to flip over onto one of your binders. It was fortunately empty. You finally snapped when he dropped the ink bottle, which had just missed your rug.

"Ayato, what's going on?" you groaned.

"I–." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "It seems you still have this effect on me."

You bit your lip, picking up a few papers but you forgot why you needed them. "You–," you began before taking a breath to compose yourself. "You have no right to have any feelings for me."

Ayato was the boy who promised to go through everything with you. You were best friends turned sweethearts and he was elated to learn his arranged marriage would be with you. He loved to tease you yet you didn't mind. It was some of the few times he had fun as he diligently learned to be the next head of the clan.

You gripped the paper in your trembling hand, holding back tears threatening to blur your vision. "Why– Why couldn't you stay with me?"

He sighed as he leaned back in his seat. "You were simply the price I had to pay," he said, closing his eyes and head tilted towards the ceiling.

"What about me?" you snapped at him. "Don't you think I suffered as well?"

You knew he would be the next head of the clan. He prepared his whole life for it. But it was accelerated when his parents died. It was the burden he had to carry, you understood that. Despite this, the two of you promised to be with each other through these times and were excited to wed each other when you reached adulthood.

He continued to stare at the ceiling before rising from his seat and occupying the space in front of you. He bent down, knees on the floor, and, very gently, tucked in the edges of his kimono.

"I promised myself to never appear in front of you again," he told you. "I never considered an opportunity would arise to apologize to you."

He placed his forehead on the rug and you clenched your fists, your nails digging into your skin.

"I am sorry you had to suffer on my behalf."

"Don't you think it's too late? You never told me why you called off the engagement. Of course, I suffered! You got up and left without a word! How could you do this to me?"

Silence. He didn't give you an answer. Your sweet beloved had left you in a blink of an eye and yet he was here in your house.

You rubbed your temple. "Forget this. Let's just get back to work."

You picked up your pen but he hadn't moved from his spot. "Ayato?" You glanced below you; a small patch of the rug was damp.

You pulled him up. "Ayato," you said in a panic. Tears filled his eyes and coated his cheeks. He quickly hid them behind his hand.

"I've overstayed my welcome." He got up to rush out of your house but you took his hand. It required little force to halt his movements. The feeling of your hand in his had shocked him.

"Ayato," you said again, this time with a gentle tone. He bit his lip, attempting to steel his expression. But it was no use. The tears had already betrayed him.

"My love," you called him this time, and he turned around, embracing you in his arms. His sleeves spread over your back as his tears soaked your shoulder. You stroked his broad back in the same way he used to comfort you.

"Mizuda," you called your retainer and she entered the room. "Please retrieve a handkerchief for me." She nodded and left the room.

"You need not to worry about her," you told Ayato. "She's astute and tight-lipped. I trust her with my life."

He chuckled as he finally lifted his head. "How is it that you are comforting me when you have suffered unjustly?"

"Ayato," you said, staring into his eyes. "I was angry with you because you never gave me an explanation. I thought you didn't care about me anymore."

Your retainer returned with a handkerchief and Ayato wiped his tears. "This is quite amusing. After all these years of leading my clan, I am still very much immature. I am able to confront nobles, stand up against assassins, and uncover the deception of others," he takes your other hand, "but wasn't able to appear before you."

"Were you afraid I'd be angry with you?"

"No. I was afraid you'd be too understanding," he said. "And you would bear the cost of my decision alone."

You rubbed your forehead with the heel of your palm. "Now why would you do that– No, of course you would." He had his own way of dealing with his personal problems.

"I couldn't think of a solution that wouldn't cause you any pain." He released your hands and turned his head away from you. "I thought that you would at least have some consolation if you could direct your anger towards me."

"Is that why there was also an increase of suitors for me when you left?" you sighed. "Were you hoping I'd somehow be comforted by it?"

"No," he shook his head. "I had no hand in that. I considered it, but there was no one I could trust to take care of you."

You let out a sigh when your heart skipped a beat once again. "So why leave in the first place?"

"If I didn't, my sister–" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, disregard that. It was ultimately due to my incompetence that I could not fulfill my promise to you." His hand shook as he spoke, and he clenched it before hiding it from your view. "I could not rely on your family, lest we drag you down with us."

"Drag us down? Did you really think–?"

No. That wasn't it. He needed to ensure stability for his clan after his parents died. If it were only him left in the clan, the Ayato you knew would have run into your open arms, accepting any help you gave him. But if he chose you, he couldn't provide what his sister needed, a strong head of the family who'd forge a path for her. Her, along with the rest of his weakened clan and all who were under his care.

"You wanted to be able to stand on your own two feet." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "Incompetent indeed."

You didn't agree with him. Power dynamics didn't consume your mind like they did his. But now you could make some sort of reason behind his actions. Perhaps you were both too young and immature back then, not to mention Ayato had little time to grieve over his parents. And after you left for Liyue, he thought it best to not keep in contact.

"I do not ask for your forgiveness," he told you. "I have already put you through too much. But I will not allow you to suffer again," he said, looking directly at you. "I will ensure it."

He folded up the handkerchief and placed it next to him. "Did… you have any other questions? I hope it'll make our future interactions more bearable for you. If not," he continued, "I can arrange for someone else to take my place."

You pinched the bridge of your nose. This was too much to process. "Let's just finish up what we can for today."

The two of you worked for a few more hours and the sun had already set. You had difficulty concentrating and the side glances from Ayato didn't help at all. But one thing was for sure. You missed him. And he missed you.

"It's late." he told you. "I must return to the estate. I can arrange for someone else to come next time."

You crossed your arms, shoulders relaxed, as you leaned on a door frame, watching Ayato retrieve his belongings. "Will you be attending the festival?"

"Of course," he replied, squinting his eyes at a sheet of paper due to the dim light. "I must ensure it'll run smoothly."

"My retainer won't be working that week." You'd be alone then.

The paper fell to the ground as he lifted his eyes to you. He raised his hand to clear his throat. "Perhaps I… should come back to work here tomorrow. So that I won't be as busy during the festival." You raised a brow. "Or not. I'll get Thoma or Ayaka instead to–"

"I'm free Saturday."

Ayato's eyes grew wide. He tightened his lips together and you snorted as he struggled to hold back a smile. He nodded and quickly packed the rest of his papers before leaving your house.

The rain had stopped. The dim lampstands outlined his silhouette as he stood to stare back at your house once more, the man who sacrificed much to accomplish what he did over the years, the same boy you had loved dearly.

Perhaps fate would be kinder to the two of you this time around.

I hope you liked it. :) Fun fact: the textile business is a reference to the reader's occupation from my Kazuha drabble and the fishing business is the reader's from my Itto fic. I was too lazy to think of vendors so I used them. lol. Those two fics have completely different moods from this one though. :)

Please consider leaving a comment if you enjoyed this.

Edit: I wrote a fluffier part two here. :)

[GI Military AU]

My aot cosplays so far. I cosplayed as armin if you think that's Erwin 😭 I have hange's wig so she's next 🤙🏻

---

“He longs for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amidst a sea of flowers.” Experimental piece with xiao and venti color jitter brush scary 

The next best thing.

✿ Remember to read part one first! 

❀ Prologue/summary: Desperate to get away from your memory of Scaramouche, you left in search of a new beginning. Can you really escape your past with him as easily as it is ideal?

❀ Pairing(s): Harbinger! Scaramouche x gn! reader

❀ Themes/warnings: Spoilers for Scaramouche’s backstory/main archon quest, mentions of violence, Angst.

❀ Doll’s note: Ahh hello! ( ･∀･)/ Sorry for the wait, but I’m really excited to finally present what I’ve been working on! Some of your replies gave me a good chuckle, they’re really motivating! But seriously, thank you<3

❀ word count: 2.2k

✿ masterlist (not yet posted) ✿ requested by: N/A, original concept 

It’s been around a week since your last encounter with Scaramouche. 

The plentiful amount of time to yourself has allowed you to reflect on all the poor decisions that led you to your current position. Love has truly made you lose sight of who you were and blinded you from your original motives. It was something that you, out of all people, could never have imagined falling victim to.

The passing fields you’re walking through were finally losing their familiarity, as the only thing pushing you to keep on moving is the wish to be somewhere far from a place that reminded you of your shared memories with him. Over time it has been cultivating many mixed emotions, which, although intense, you couldn’t quite identify as good or bad ones. All of it together was becoming incredibly frustrating because feeling so much emotion has always been foreign to you.

Despite your pitiful situation, the archons seemed to do their damn best to send even more troubles your way. You were just oh-so-lucky enough to receive your very own version of typical winter Inazuma weather on your way out, which was somehow even more unforgiving than usual. 

Perhaps as a means to cope with your pain, you were slowly starting to grow numb to hurting. You quickly went from mourning over your loss to seeing red all around you. Every misfortune you experienced throughout your travels was his fault to begin with, it only made sense that the grief gradually seeped in as anger. It was all too overbearing, your sanity was merely hanging on by a thread.

“Mercy… please.. archons… save me….”

It only enraged you further to watch the treasure hoarder before you to plead for mercy after witnessing the brutal deaths of their comrades. He was just like you to Scaramouche, a pathetic resemblance of someone who thought they were special enough to be granted an exception. 

When the glowing ashes of his corpse dissipated away, silence took over in your returning solitude. You thought your mind would finally be relieved of this frustration, for you to be finally feeling something else, anything else after murdering those pitiful people. 

Why has it done absolutely nothing? 

“I thought I heard people yelling here but I don’t seem to see anyone else, are you alright miss?” A male voice spoke out from behind you. 

The man introduced himself as Tighnari, an Avidya Forest Watcher who was in the middle of a research report on the nearby area. The sudden realization that you’ve already made it to Sumeru makes you wonder how you even lasted so long without resting.

“It’s our responsibility to aid travelers in need.” 

He smiled gently as he offered you a hand. You eyed his tall animal ears with a moment’s curiosity before getting up yourself, dusting off your clothes from the debris of your short-lived battle. 

It took quite a bit of unwanted conversation to cover up your deeds, you didn’t want to stir up additional commotion to the situation at hand. Yes, treasure hoarders weren’t the best kind of people but that alone was no justification for being the subject of your wrath.

“I was.. just looking for something to eat.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie, it’s been about three days since the time you last ate. Even so, that instance could barely even be referred to as a proper meal because berries aren’t considered the most satiating. 

Tighnari took pity upon your weak appearance and offered to take you back to Gandharva Ville with him. Despite the fact that you didn’t want to follow him at first, you can only ignore your looming exhaustion so many times until your body eventually gives out. You might be tough, but still human nonetheless. With the help of his assistant, he provided you with medical supplies and dinner, which you hesitantly accepted. 

The next two months went by rather slowly. You have begun to live amongst the rest of the people in Gandharva Ville along with Tighnari and Collei, as a forest ranger yourself. It wasn’t a job that made the most out of your vision potential, but you had nothing to use them for anyway. Your past with the Fatui and Scaramouche has been less insistent on plaguing your mind once you settled down in a new environment, it was a pleasant change of pace. Your heart was gathering up its pieces, yet the emptiness you’ve felt before has made its way back into your daily routine. This peaceful way of living would always be infinitely better than the mental torment that he would have put you through.

Anything would be better than that, right?

It wasn’t until you heard his name again, that you have managed to keep your emotions at bay. 

The sages from the Akademiya have come to attempt to convince Tighnari to return to Sumeru city. The prestigious institution took notice of his exceptional intellect and thought of his current position as a waste of his talents as a scholar. It just seemed like a minor inconvenience at first, so you decided to tend to your assigned duties a little earlier.

Just as you were returning to deliver your updated report to Tighnari, the sages were on their way out. You were just about to dismiss their presence when you overheard a familiar name.

“Dr. Dottore needs us to go later tonight, to help with their project with the Balladeer.”

“His name was Scaramouche, right?”

Your report scattered all across the forest path, your trembling fingers unable to hold on to their delicate pages at what you just heard. You could feel your chest begin to heave rapidly as your mind became a jumbled mess. Everything to do with this man should have been behind you, never to reappear in your thoughts again, so why now?

Why?

Why, why, WHY?

You had to find out for what wretched reason the Akademiya was included in a scheme associating with such a painful part of your memory, so you abandoned your original plans to follow them back into the city.

It turns out that the sages have been working together with Dottore in the late stages of developing Scaramouche’s artificial god form. You didn’t know what your plan was before, but it was never your goal to come this close to actually encountering him.

…

You stepped into the forest cavern, right before where he is held from the information you collected. Do you really want to see him again? Why are you even here?

In spite of the voices in your head, his face etched itself into your mind. You were brimming with emotions, your weakness for the man never left you after all. 

There wasn’t much logic left behind your thoughts, the only force driving your actions being an unreasonable craving. You revealed the hidden entrance by copying the procedure you witnessed Dotorre perform earlier, taking a final deep breath before crossing the threshold. 

Your steps echoed throughout the large chambers of the Joururi Workshop, examining the large pieces of what you assumed were unfinished equipment in their creation of this “artificial god”. The Fatui really does work quickly, you’d at least have to give them credit for their efficiency.

“(y/n)?”

Your heart stopped the moment you heard your name, but not because of how it belonged to you.

“What are you doing here?”

You turned to face the black-haired harbinger, the one that you only ever allowed yourself to remember in your dreams. 

He looked just as gorgeous as before. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash, the sound of thunder hitting the spot where you once were before your reflexes barely preserved your life.

“What a coward you are, showing up before I can even finish my project.”

You hid behind a pile of various mechanical materials, trying to process the fact that Scaramouche was now trying to kill you. It shouldn’t be the most surprising because of how you acted during your last meeting. 

“I guess I should finally pay you back for being so disrespectful, hmm?”

Scaramouche’s laugh was dripping with poison, making your reality now clear.

You were just so sick of it all, you were never going to find peace with the presence of this awful man’s existence in Teyvat. Your suppressed feelings after so long, resurfaced as the same bloodlust you felt the day you met those poor treasure hoarders. 

“I have been dying to see you, Scara.”

You approached him with a smile, the rest of the confrontation was merely a blur.

…

The sword that was given to you on the same day you joined the Fatui, was now pierced through your former superior’s chest. His eyes widened, unsure of how he had ended up being on the losing end of this exchange. After all, he never paid any attention to your abilities, if only he was as observant of you as you were of him back then. You knew of his every blind spot, every little weakness that bought you just an adequate amount of time to pin him right where you wanted him. 

It was an extensive fight where you applied all those years of experience by his side, performing the final accumulation of your feelings as a rendezvous of death. 

I have always been watching you.

You dug your blade further in, causing his legs to give out and collapse to the ground. It was far from what would kill him instantaneously due to his lack of a real heart, but enough to sufficiently incapacitate him.

I have always longed for you.

You kneeled next to him, watching his surprise twisting into rage. Shadows from his hair cast over his face as he gritted his teeth.

But I can’t have you.

“I was so close…”

So I’ll choose the next best thing.

His frame shook when his devastated eyes stared into yours.

“I WAS SO CLOSE DAMNIT, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT?”

He was lashing out at you now, upon the realization that his premature death would ultimately rip him away from what was about to be his godhood. He screamed hateful, terrible, words at you. Yet, you still pitied his helpless state.

He has never been kind to you, barely even grateful for anything you’ve ever managed to accomplish for him.. Yet there were moments when he appeared so lonely. He was like a lost soul craving for something beyond what he felt was even possible, hence his want to reshape a new world.

Tears were streaming down his face, his crying voice now barely above a whisper due to the spreading fatigue. You could tell he no longer had the energy to be angry, and gently held his hand in yours. He wept quietly on the floor, relishing in your comfort within his vulnerable state. 

You were aware of the three betrayals that shaped Scaramouche into the bitter person he was. He suffered being the abandoned subject of his creator, being viewed as if his existence as a monstrosity by the only friend he’s ever made, and the loss of a child he’s come to care for after making unkept promises to one another. You didn’t want him to have nobody in his final moments, despite his flawed pessimism, and no matter how bad he used to treat you.

You both savored the stillness of the Joururi workshop’s solitude, that is until he was the one to break the silence, much to your surprise.

“..Why do you think my creator has yet to get rid of me, to allow me to wander as far out of her grasp as to even become a harbinger?” 

He was now reflecting in deep thought, the focus of his gaze on the intricate ceiling of the domain. It’s like he read your mind.

“…My former friend might have been right, for me to have soon become someone who hurt the lives of so many.”

You didn’t expect him to ever find forgiveness, for him to finally realize that there is more to living creatures than just misery. The hopeful glint in his eyes vastly differed from the characteristics you’ve come to know rather well. 

“…I suppose the boy’s mortality wasn’t necessarily his fault, it was cruel of me to shift the blame for my loss on him.”

He finished his declaration with a small sad chuckle, a genuine one. 

“…hey.. (y/n).”

He called out to you, asking why you continue to remain by his side after his continuous exploitation of your feelings. 

You explained to him that you cannot pick and choose what you feel. Why  people care so much about seemingly unreasonable emotions was something you couldn’t comprehend either. 

This was something only he has been able to have taught you for the first time in your life, but you kept that last part to yourself. His cold fingers gave yours a light squeeze, and your chest tightened at his melancholic expression.

“For my new understanding, I’m eternally grateful to you.”

His chest rose and fell slowly, his trembling gradually coming to a halt.Turns out your efforts have brought him peace, one that he was unable to achieve on his own.

“……Maybe things would be different for us if I was born human too.”

With those words, he used the last of his strength. You felt his hand loosen its grip on yours, as he succumbed to his rest. You’ve helped him move on from his past and achieve his true goal, to see a world that wasn’t just filled with deceit and lies. What a truly bittersweet way for your first love to come to an end.

..But what was in it for me?

A sob escaped your throat as you cradled his unconscious form, hushed cries escalating into painful wails that resounded in the large room. 

You refused to leave his side for hours after, you weren’t ready to part with him just yet. Your reunion was so brief after all.

…

Small taps of footsteps were heard behind you as you came face-to-face with a little, white-haired girl.

“(y/n), right?”

@ 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘳 | please credit if reposted! ♡

✿ Taglist: @smdroplvr @niasyndrome @shotgunsona @bananapowersrangers @ki–mi​

Okay I'm hiding now

The Abyss, commissions and an observer.

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

Venti, Xiao, Klee, and Qiqi singing AAHHH THIS IS SO CUTE you can listen it here!

Longing For You

Pairing: Fem reader x Aether

Words: 10k+ I lost count

Genre: one-shot, platonic relationship, fuff, angst, slight crack if you squint

Cw // mentions of character death, blood

Hi! It's my first time writing on here and I just write what's on my mind I'm sorry if this is bad since english is not my first language ㅠㅠ I promise I will get better with my writing! Enjoy ^^

Lonely.

That's what you are feeling. It's been 3 days you got stuck in this unknown land. You thought it was beautiful, it really was. But will you be ready to face what's in front of you?

You manage to survive with fruits like apples and cashews, at least that's what you thought the name was, because in your world they called it cashews. Even though it doesn't really give you enough nutritions, as long as you get to live you're okay with it. Heck there were almost nothing here. You wanted to explore the place more but there are monsters everywhere, and you- with no weapon, could only run and hide in hopes of not getting spotted by them. Will you ever survive?

Sighing, "just another day like this I guess"

you said before drifting to dreamland under a tree in a secluded area of the unknown land.

----

"She's still breathing"

"Paimon! What are you doing?!"

You could hear someone whispering- half screaming to be exact, at someone but you are more bothered at someone poking your arm with a stick. Groaning, you woke up and realized someone invaded your place. Ready to fight whoever that was, your actions suddenly come to a halt when you meet a pair of golden eyes and his tiny little companion. They were as shocked as you, well... I guess you are more shocked to see a floating kid beside the blonde boy.

Quickly, you hide behind a tree. Since you don't have any weapon to defend yourself what else can defend you other than a tree?

"w-who are you?! And why you can float?!"

you shrieked, the little floating kid crossed her arms and scoffed at your question. Why would she scoffed at you?

"excuse me young lady but we're the one who should ask you that!".

You just meet her now but god knows how much her high-pitched voice started to annoy you. The blonde boy beside her started to speak up before his companion could even say a word,

"I'm sorry she bothered you. I'm Aether, and this is my travel companion, Paimon. We found a group of hilichurls around here and we already fight them off before it could reach your campsite. May we know what is your name?" he asks as his pair golden orbs stares straight into you.

"Uh.. My name is y/n..."

He smiles, assuring you that they're safe and can be trusted, you slowly got out behind the tree when he stretches out his hand for a handshake. You grab his hand, reciprocating his action. "it's nice to meet you y/n".

----

"No"

"Aether c'mon please?"

"ugh fine"

It's been a month you had stayed in Monstadt, The Land of Freedom, and a month since your encounter with Aether and Paimon. She still annoys you though, but you're really grateful that she can keep the conversation going because it always turns awkward whenever you tried to initiate a conversation with people. You learned that Aether didn't come from this world too, separated from his sister by the unknown god and now is looking for her in Teyvat. Hopefully, you can go back home too.

You missed your family of course but you're also happy that there are people who willing to take care of you, especially Barbara. She treated you like her own sister, beside Jean. You learned everything here from Lisa and learned how to fight from the cavalry captain Knights of the Favonious, Kaeya. And Diluc? He's hot, but cold as ice at the same time and you went to the Tavern once, only to see him talking to a bard named Venti, about how the bard needs to stop drinking all of his dandelion wine before he runs out of it because of him.

Now, Aether is in front of you as you manage to persuade him to bring you to one of his adventures. He never let you tag along because he told you it's dangerous outside. Both of you are no vision holders, but he has the power of Anemo. It's still a mystery to you but he's an outlander so it would probably make sense why he can have such powers even without a vision blessed by the Archons.

"But! You only have to fight the hilichurls only while I take down those mitachurls, got it?" he says. Nodding your head aggressively, you started your journey with him as an adventurer.

"Let's go to Liyue!" Paimon says excitedly.

---

"That was close, thank you y/n"

Aether pants heavily, letting out a sigh of relief as you kick off the last hilichurl with your sword. Turning around to face him, you tell him it's nothing.

You three bumped into a hilichurl camp in the middle of the road of Bishui Plans. Unfortunately, those group of monsters noticed you before you three could even hide.

You were about to follow Paimon but Aether called you, you look at him as his face expressed shocked. You asked him what's wrong only him to point at your hips. You were confused so you look down where he's pointing at. Well now you're equally as shocked as him, if not because of the shining crystal blue orb hanging on your belt.

"What... I-I swear it wasn't there before?"

You whispered, questioning yourself because how did it get there? How did you even got a vision? What did you do? You know it's a vision because Lisa has taught you at the library back in Mondstadt. How? That was all in your mind.

You hear Paimon gasped, putting her hands on her mouth, "you got a vision! Let me see!". She flew to look at your vision before touching it to get a better look. "You got a cryo vision!" she exclaimed.

"Cryo? You mean I get the power of ice?" You question her. She nodded her, "Yes! Now you can help Aether to fight enemies!". Looking down at your feet, sighing. Aether asked you what's wrong and you simply said you don't know how to fight. Like actually fighting enemies with your own power, how to use it and how to handle it. What if you unintentionally hurt people around you? Aether chuckled at your response. You look up at him, tilting your head in confusion.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you"

----

"I wish kaeya was here"

"You don't like it when I teach you?!"

Chuckling at your friend, you said it's not that you don't like it when he teaches you. It's because "it would be easier if a cryo vision holder teaches me how to control the element", you says.

He let out a puff, while you were stroking Paimon's hair on your lap. She snores softly and you swear you could hear her mumbling sticky honey roast in her sleep. Giggling at her, you wonder how can she be cute and annoying at the same time. It's unfair you think. You turned your head to look at Aether and he was zoned out, as always.

"Mind telling me what's in your mind?"

You picked up his habits quite quickly, since you both attached to the hips all the time. You would notice he always does this when he's deep in thought. The same goes for him. You both can read each other like an open book.

He looks at you, smiling. Shaking his head and tells you he always thinks the same, about his sister. You smiled back at him, you assured him that you will meet her soon. And now, you both enjoy the calm breeze as you both watched the sun set over the blue horizon at the nearby cliff in Liyue.

"S-sticky honey roast... "

----

Annoyed.

That's how you feel right now.

This guy just keeps pestering you for 20 minutes now. You got separated with Aether as he got something to do with Zhongli, the Wangsheng Parlor Funeral Consultant. Aether wanted to let Paimon stay with you but you said you're fine on your own and you would enjoy alone time in the time being while waiting for them.

But you didn't expect this.

"Can you stop following me now?"

"Why would I?"

Rolling your eyes, you bump into his shoulder, or Childe as he call himself.

"Oh don't be like that girlie-" " I have a name shut up" you sigh for the nth time. You need to avoid this man, because he's one of the Fatui, you don't want to involve yourself and Aether with them. That's why you've been running and avoiding him at all cost.

"Well you never tell me your name girlie-"

"It's y/n okay? Now go you're getting on my nerve..."

you mumbled the last sentence. He only chuckles at your reaction as he enjoys it. You were buying some street food from the food stall and before you could give your mora to the seller, someone beats you to pay for the food. You were not complaining though, you didn't thank him either.

"Okay then but can I ask you one last question, y/n?" he smiles widely while you only look at him, chewing your spicy fish cake, unamused. His question however, almost send you to you death as you were choking on your food.

"W-what did you say?!" "I want to get to know about you"

Aether is not going to like this...

----

As expected, he was mad. No, he was furious.

"Why did you talk to him?!"

"I tried not to talk to him Aether, he kept following me when I tried to avoid him! To the point he creeps me out..."

Aether sighs, rubbing his forehead as Paimon watched you two arguing. Was this the only time Paimon shuts her mouth? Excluding the time she's asleep. She knows when to silent herself because this time, Aether is different in Paimon's eyes.

"So.. Did you agree?" he questioned, not giving you a glance. You shake your head, "No, of course I didn't. He's dangerous and he could hurt us if he has the opportunity..." Which is true. Childe is a harbinger, and you, just a mortal from another world who just got dumped to Teyvat out of nowhere.

Aether engulfs you in a hug, which surprised you. You could feel your cheeks burning from the physical contact. His arm wraps around your shoulder while the other strokes your hair, calming you.

"I won't let that happen to you, Paimon and me. I won't let him hurt us, I will promise you that I will protect you both from any danger. I don't want to lose another friend..." he says and the last sentence sounds more like a whisper to you but you understand him.

You also promised to yourself that you will protect paimon and him. Because you love them.

----

"Well traveller, you're quite stronger than I thought"

"Stay away from him!"

You yelled at the harbinger, keeping yourself from falling as you struggled to stand up. Paimon tried her best to keep Aether awake while you were guarding them, ready to attack him anytime.

Childe let out a loud laugh, as if he was mocking you and your companion. Shaking his head, he came closer to you.

"You know what, you're lucky that you didn't fall for my tricks" he chuckles. You were getting antsy everytime he take a step closer to you, "no one is fool enough to fall for a harbinger, Tartaglia" you sneered.

He was about to attack you with his hydro sword but you managed to dodged it with your power and turning it into an ice. You both fight for a while and fortunately, Aether came to help you.

After hours of fighting, that's what you think, you feel drained out. Slumping on the floor, you take a glance at Aether he was panting hard, Paimon at his side to support him. And Childe, he looks better than both you and Aether combined but he's still in a good shape.

As you were trying to stand up, you saw a glimpse of a woman at the corner of your eye. You widen your eyes and tried to push Aether away as you saw the woman was about to attack him with her sharp ice.

Signora.

You made a wall of ice to protect Aether and Paimon from her attacks. However, you didn't do it for you. You didn't protect yourself and got hit by the ice. The ice wall from you melts, so does Aether's world when he saw you, bleeding from your own element.

Childe was as shocked too, he thought you were a genuine person, he really do. Is this what it feels when you know someone personally got hurt? He can't imagine what Aether feels now.

You fell, you felt dizzy as you hit your head on the solid ground.

"Y/n!" Aether and Paimon yelled your name, but why do they sound like they're miles away?

"Y/n! Keep your eyes open! Don't you very dare to close your eyes!" Your friend screamed. Paimon is holding your hand while sobbing on you. "Y/n you can't leave us! Paimon still want to have fun with you!"

All you can do is cry. You don't want to leave them. You still haven't find your way back home, you can't. But you were losing so much blood and all you could do is remembering your moments with your friends.

Aether and Paimon.

Aether holds you on his lap, you could feel his tears falling on your cheek. He cups your cheek as he stares into your (e/c) orbs. To him, it resembles the stars on the night sky. He wish he could look at them like this before.

Not when you're dying.

He put his forehead on yours as he keeps repeating "please don't leave" to you. You promised him that you will protect him, but not stay with him. Did you regret it? Yes. You wish you could stay but you knew at the end, both of you will leave eventually.

But you didn't expect that you would leave them like this.

With all your might, you hover your hand over his that was on your cheek, rubbing it softly. "Promise me, we will meet someday, wether it be in our next life or in different universe, promise me we will meet again" you said, voice getting hoarse and staring to his golden eyes. You want to remember his eyes, his nose, his lips, his everything.

"Paimon doesn't want you to leave!" your little friend cried, you let out a loud sob as you pull her to your chest, soaking your bloody shirt with her tears. You three tried to cherish your last moment together, even though it was a tragic one, like now.

Aether tighten his hold on you, Paimon cries harder when she saw the colour of your vision starting to fade, knowing you couldn't make it.

"Paimon loves you, y/n", all you can do is cry, before your last breathe you hear Aether says "I promise you, we will meet again.. I love you"

Your vision faded, you fall into a deep sleep and everything turns dark.

----

"She's awake!"

"Call the doctor!"

You slowly opened your eyes, the bright light hurting your eyes, still adjusting to the surrounding. You could feel your tears were falling. Why did you cry? Then it hit you.

You were in the hospital.

You remember what happened, was that all just a dream? It feels real, way too real for your liking.

"Thank god, you're finally awake!" your mom sobs. Wait, your mom is here? You're finally back? You were supposed to be happy but why did you feel sad?

"H-how long did I... Sleep?" you asked, voice raspy as your throat lacks of hydration. Your mom gave you a glass of water and you gladly drink it, your throat still hurt.

"2 months now, you got hit by a car and the guy felt bad. He even insisted to pay for your bills", your mom says as she hold your hand. It's been a few minutes but you missed them. Aether and your little friend Paimon.

"Oh.." that's all you can say. You really don't know what to respond. You were happy that you're finally awake but you also missed people you met in Teyvat. Are they real or just your imagination?

"I forgot to tell you, the person who pays for your hospital bill will visit you. He always visits you when me and your dad is busy with work", you nodded your head, didn't have the energy to reply your mom back.

Suddenly, the door opens, revealing a tall man. You face him, only to widen your eyes as you were shocked to see the person in your dream.

"Childe?"

----

It's been a month since you got discharged from the hospital and been recovering well. You still struggle to walk on your own though, but nothing serious. Ever since you met childe, you both got along very well, not like the one in your dream.

"So... What I dreamed of during my coma was real?" You asked him, walking through the flowery path as the cherry blossom falls on the ground beside him arms clinging to his.

"Yeah. In fact, I'm still the same Childe in your dream!"

"Yeah as you wish. The only same thing is you keep paying things for me.. And being annoying"

You remarked. He only laughs and told you the reason why he keeps doing that is that it's the only kind action he could do, even now. But in reality, he felt guilty. He

"By the way, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. You won't mind right?"

"What's the point of asking me if you're going to introduce your friend to me now?"

"Geez woman, you're still the same"

you could only laugh at him. To you, he's a good friend but no one could replace Aether. If you met Childe, there's a possibility of you to meet Aether and Paimon right?

"Oi blondie! We're here!" Childe yelled, getting you out from your deep thoughts. You look up only to meet a pair of golden eyes that you've missed so much.

It feels like the time has stopped. He walked towards you and slowly, engulfed you in a hug. You were stunned, you meet him. You both found each other. You hugged him back, tightly. You let out tears of joy, he was relieved he found you that he also cried.

"You didn't forget me don't you?" You hear a feminine voice behind Aether, only to find Paimon crossing her arms, just like when you meet her for the first time. But what amazes you that she's in a different form. She looks... Like you. A woman.

Your eyes got teary again and went straight to her, giving her a big hug which she reciprocated. "I miss you so much Paimon" you burried your head into her neck. Paimon was happy she could meet her.

Childe and Aether could only look both of you with adoration. Aether cleared his throat, without looking at the man beside him, eyes still on you. "Thank you, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't find her"

The red haired man could only smile, "it's no problem. I couldn't face anyone after what happened in Teyvat. Think of this as my way to apologize". Aether couldn't answer, he only nodded his head to let him know he's listening.

You went to him only get a hug from you. You missed him so much. And you noticed Aether doesn't have his long braided hair anymore, which saddens you because you always play and braid his hair.

"I noticed that you finally got rid of your annoyingly long hair", you teased him. You hear him chuckled as he tightened his grip around you. "Can't let the annoyingly long hair distract people sweetie. People found it weird here"

"But I like it though..." you blushed at the pet name he gave you. You both just couldn't let go of each other now. He strokes your hair, enjoying each others presence. "I'm so glad that I found you", "me too, I'm glad you're here".

The other two friend only watched you two reunited again, hugging each other and won't let each other go because you missed each other so much that you both are afraid one of you vanished anytime. But it's real.

"Childe can we get some sticky honey roast?"

"Good grief, paimon.."

---