Owo

You what 👀 BTW I'M BACK HHHHHH

HELLO HELLO I'M JUST HERE TO THANK YOU FOR THE XIAO CONTENT--- Seriously tho I live for your writing like it's so kjskdbkn,, 😔👉👈💖💕💓❤️💓♥️💕💖💕

OH HEY! It’s nice to see you and talk! I’m so bad at starting conversation it’s kinda insane so thanks for reaching out haha. Also, thank you so much for your kind words on @xiaotopia fic^^ I totally don’t stalk her shhh you didn’t hear it from me. 

BUT THANK YOU FOR LOVING THE XIAO CONTENT AND WATCHING ME FALL INTO A BLACKHOLE OF XIAO BRAINROT 💕💕💕 We’re in this together. Holding hands as we sing kumbaya as the brainworms consume us. How lovely is that? 

Haha, aww I’m glad you like my writing^^ I’m still trying to figure out a good writing style but I see you and I agree. We need more cat xiao content. I’m so tempted to say screw everything, this is all I’m going to post for the next week but I really can’t do that haha. When I finish my inbox that’s the first thing I’m posting. No questions asked. In this house we only believe in Xiao. Always Xiao. You think you’re rolling for Ganyu or Hu Tao? I think the fuck not, it’s only Xiao. 

❝ bite.❞ || childe ( tartaglia ) x female!reader

so. today, i woke up, and i chose horniness. listened to bite by troye sivan one ( 1 ) time and i just. had an epiphany and a burst of inspiration. didn’t intend for this to turn into a pseudo-songfic but i guess life is just like that sometimes

wrote this in nearly one sitting and i didn’t have the patience ( nor the sanity ) to proofread it so i’m really really sorry for any mistakes that show up;;;; fic starts right after the golden house fight so there aren’t any spoilers for the actual fight itself !!

keywords: NSFW; spoiler-free; female reader; romantic relationship; childe x reader NSFW: dom!childe; sub!reader; unprotected sex; overstimulation; biting; fingering

in which childe had always been a creature of habit: the same back then as he was now, the same now as he always will be. every week, without fail, he waits for you in the shadows cast by the high walls of the golden house— basking in the twisted glory like a deranged god on a broken throne. and every week, without fail, you traipse right into his open palm— like a pilgrim with everything to give; like a martyr with nothing to lose.

Keep reading

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like or reblog if you use or save

Ateez x maze runner au sounds nice

Watch me trip and fall to your ask box. I just saw your post about needing new friends and that you're new to tumblr and I'm here with my application. I wasn't sure if dms were okay but same, I need some more xiao friends. Xiao is always valid. (P.S ty for the support^^)

Omg let's be friends 😭

Better than you could aspire to be - Tighnari

Angst time! This is an isekai, not as long as I feared it would be. Tighnari is the one that goes into a different world, it'll make sense. Gender neutral reader, sad ending

Tighnari worked in a fast food place in his own world. See, he was a student, and the only place that would willingly take students were such places. He grew to hate this more intensely as he continued to work, somehow keeping up with his studies in botany. The smell of the food that smelled so unappetising after working around the food items for so long, the fact he had to scrub his ears to get food out that had been thrown by a rude customer, and on top of that he had people constantly pointing phones into his face and gushing over his 'cute ears'. He found himself daydreaming the day he could finally stop working in this hellhole, where he could finally enjoy his work in a field he loved.

City noises were excessive as well, the transport to his university not helping with anything apart from getting him from point a to b. Again, he knew people were taking pictures of his ears and shamelessly talking about how big they were. Some people said it must be a cosmetic, others saying that he was compensating for something else. Truthfully, he grew to despise them. The way people had no shame, the way some people even had the audacity to touch them without asking.

One day, he finished a particularly heavy shift, and he flopped onto the bed without even having the energy to stay awake. In his uniform, he tries to remind himself to change once he wakes up.

--

The next day, he wakes up in an unfamiliar forest. The flora around him didn't look familiar, the strange statue that loomed above and various other contraptions he was clueless about. He goes to check his phone, only to sigh when he realises that his phone was dead.

You hear the man call out, waking you up early, and you decide to go out to investigate. Looking over, you see a man in a strange uniform you never saw before. Sure, you usually stay in the forest, but you saw a lot of outfits on those who got lost in the forest and this was nothing like that. Walking down, you wave at the man, who looks up from the device in his hands.

"Hello! Are you lost?" You ask, seeing the man nod. "You are currently in Ghandara ville."

"Where is that?" The man asks. "I've never heard of that place."

"Sumeru? Teyvat?" You ask, the man in front of you only growing more confused. Looking down, you see he keeps glancing at the thing in his hands. "What's that?" You ask, genuinely curious.

"Oh, this is my phone. Do you have a charger handy?" The man asks, only to look more defeated when you explain you don't have one, nor do you understand what the phone was. "I'm from _, I work in McDonalds." The man explains, only to see you now confused.

"Well, I'm sure we'll figure out something!" You exclaim, hoping to cheer the man up. I am _, head forest ranger." You introduce yourself.

"Tighnari, Botany student and fast food worker." The man introduces himself.

You nod, taking interest in him stating he was a botany student where he was from.

"Well, if you'd like I can get in touch with a good friend of mine to get you into a botany course!" You start, before continuing."And you can stay here and work as a forest ranger!"

You expect Tighnari to go against the idea of being a forest ranger in an unfamiliar place, and he does hesitate for a second, but he decides to nod. Of course, you agree to train him up, and you show him to the room you were in before moving your stuff to someone else's room to stay with them.

Everyone meets Tighnari, who seems nervous for some reason. Thankfully, everyone was welcoming, saying he was sure to enjoy working as a forest ranger full time before they head off for their routes after you assign this to everyone.

--

"Please, he's really lost!" You ask, Cyno looking at you as you continue to beg him for the chance to let Tighnari into a botany course despite having no prior qualifications. "I think he's gonna be a good match for the course!"

"And how can you be so certain of this?" Cyno asks, not convinced. "Let's say he gets too attached to the world he isn't used to, as long as he wasn't lying. What happens if he wakes up back in his own world, only to miss the feeling of this one?"

"I'm sure he could adapt! He's adapted well to this one, and there's no harm in letting him in the course. Give him a shot, and if he isn't good enough then I'm fine with just taking him in as a forest ranger." You continue, Cyno closing his eyes. He knew you only spoke like this when your mind could not be changed, no matter how long the conversation lasted

"...Fine." Cyno finally lets out.

--

You work with Tighnari, and over time he gets adept with a bow. So, you decide to test him on his accuracy. To your relief, it appears he seemed to pick it up rather well, and you don't fully believe him when he claims he never used a bow before.

Turns out he was really good with his course work as well. You saw him work with his books often, even assisting other people with their own courses and keeping on top of his coursework.

The forest rangers really liked his company, and over time they grew more confident with their compliments to him.

"You're so good with that bow!"

"It's admirable how quickly you've been able to pick up these skills."

"Your medicine is better than what the head ranger does! Oh, no offence, _!"

"If _ isn't careful, you're gonna be taking the leadership role here!"

At first, you enjoyed seeing him gain confidence with these comments, but some of them really stung. You knew that while you were liked, people deemed Tighnari to be objectively better for the role of head ranger. He was doing really well with his studies, he was able to help people and keep his grades up, and on top of that he still had his spare time. You barely were able to keep up with all the withering zones, every time you turned your back one would materialise and make itself known to another ranger, and you'd have to take it on.

That was until Tighnari proved he was better with clearing these withering zones than you.

It felt like he was trying to make you feel awful for your lack of competency in your work, but he was incredibly friendly. You knew he was only trying to help, and that's what kept you from just giving up and giving him the position. So, you keep reminding yourself that these pointers you've been giving to Tighnari have helped him, and you were the one who got him onto that course.

--

Cyno sends you a letter, stating it was urgent. When you let everyone know you had to visit someone, you see them brush it off before they turn back to Tighnari. You don't spare a second glance, heading off as you hear someone talk about a dendro vision. As much as you wanted to talk, when Cyno required you it was never ideal.

--

Cyno looks particularly unnerved as he gazes at this portal in front of him. Turning, he spots you, and he waves you over.

"This is what I was warning you about." He explains. "This is Tighnaris world. I would have sent you with Tighnari himself, however that won't be ide." He explains, sighing out.

"Huh? But why is that a problem?" You ask, tilting your head.

"Since Tighnari obtained a vision, sending him back to his world would be less than ideal." Cyno states. "We need to send someone in his place. Or else, this portal won't go. He continues, looking over at you.

The look in his eyes is all you need to know.

"Oh man..." You huff out. "I have to go, don't I?"

Cynos eyes widen, shaking his head.

"Not necessarily, all we need is a non vision wielder." He begins. "We could send one of-"

"I'll go." You nod, Cyno opening his mouth as he tries to speak. "I was the one that worked so hard to keep him here, so I see it as fair."

You were also very insecure over Tighnari being classed as better than you in every way, but you don't dare tell Cyno this.

"...I'll miss you, you know." Cyno admits, a sad smile as he realises you were going to go even if he advocated against this. "Is there any way I can convince you-"

You shake your head, stopping Cyno.

"The feeling is returned." You admit.

Before you walk through the portal, taking Tighnaris place in his world, you give your best friend one long hug.

childe but with precious playing at the back

Can you do something for me, please?

I want you to reblog this if you believe that two people can be very close and physically affectionate with one another, but still have a completely nonsexual, non-romantic relationship. 

Even if the two people in question are capable of being sexually or romantically attracted to one another. 

Because the friendship I share with someone I consider family in a way that transcends blood has been typecast as a romantic relationship ENTIRELY too many times, and I’m beginning to get sick of it. 

Longing For You

Pairing: Fem reader x Aether

Words: 10k+ I lost count

Genre: one-shot, platonic relationship, fuff, angst, slight crack if you squint

Cw // mentions of character death, blood

Hi! It's my first time writing on here and I just write what's on my mind I'm sorry if this is bad since english is not my first language ㅠㅠ I promise I will get better with my writing! Enjoy ^^

Lonely.

That's what you are feeling. It's been 3 days you got stuck in this unknown land. You thought it was beautiful, it really was. But will you be ready to face what's in front of you?

You manage to survive with fruits like apples and cashews, at least that's what you thought the name was, because in your world they called it cashews. Even though it doesn't really give you enough nutritions, as long as you get to live you're okay with it. Heck there were almost nothing here. You wanted to explore the place more but there are monsters everywhere, and you- with no weapon, could only run and hide in hopes of not getting spotted by them. Will you ever survive?

Sighing, "just another day like this I guess"

you said before drifting to dreamland under a tree in a secluded area of the unknown land.

----

"She's still breathing"

"Paimon! What are you doing?!"

You could hear someone whispering- half screaming to be exact, at someone but you are more bothered at someone poking your arm with a stick. Groaning, you woke up and realized someone invaded your place. Ready to fight whoever that was, your actions suddenly come to a halt when you meet a pair of golden eyes and his tiny little companion. They were as shocked as you, well... I guess you are more shocked to see a floating kid beside the blonde boy.

Quickly, you hide behind a tree. Since you don't have any weapon to defend yourself what else can defend you other than a tree?

"w-who are you?! And why you can float?!"

you shrieked, the little floating kid crossed her arms and scoffed at your question. Why would she scoffed at you?

"excuse me young lady but we're the one who should ask you that!".

You just meet her now but god knows how much her high-pitched voice started to annoy you. The blonde boy beside her started to speak up before his companion could even say a word,

"I'm sorry she bothered you. I'm Aether, and this is my travel companion, Paimon. We found a group of hilichurls around here and we already fight them off before it could reach your campsite. May we know what is your name?" he asks as his pair golden orbs stares straight into you.

"Uh.. My name is y/n..."

He smiles, assuring you that they're safe and can be trusted, you slowly got out behind the tree when he stretches out his hand for a handshake. You grab his hand, reciprocating his action. "it's nice to meet you y/n".

----

"No"

"Aether c'mon please?"

"ugh fine"

It's been a month you had stayed in Monstadt, The Land of Freedom, and a month since your encounter with Aether and Paimon. She still annoys you though, but you're really grateful that she can keep the conversation going because it always turns awkward whenever you tried to initiate a conversation with people. You learned that Aether didn't come from this world too, separated from his sister by the unknown god and now is looking for her in Teyvat. Hopefully, you can go back home too.

You missed your family of course but you're also happy that there are people who willing to take care of you, especially Barbara. She treated you like her own sister, beside Jean. You learned everything here from Lisa and learned how to fight from the cavalry captain Knights of the Favonious, Kaeya. And Diluc? He's hot, but cold as ice at the same time and you went to the Tavern once, only to see him talking to a bard named Venti, about how the bard needs to stop drinking all of his dandelion wine before he runs out of it because of him.

Now, Aether is in front of you as you manage to persuade him to bring you to one of his adventures. He never let you tag along because he told you it's dangerous outside. Both of you are no vision holders, but he has the power of Anemo. It's still a mystery to you but he's an outlander so it would probably make sense why he can have such powers even without a vision blessed by the Archons.

"But! You only have to fight the hilichurls only while I take down those mitachurls, got it?" he says. Nodding your head aggressively, you started your journey with him as an adventurer.

"Let's go to Liyue!" Paimon says excitedly.

---

"That was close, thank you y/n"

Aether pants heavily, letting out a sigh of relief as you kick off the last hilichurl with your sword. Turning around to face him, you tell him it's nothing.

You three bumped into a hilichurl camp in the middle of the road of Bishui Plans. Unfortunately, those group of monsters noticed you before you three could even hide.

You were about to follow Paimon but Aether called you, you look at him as his face expressed shocked. You asked him what's wrong only him to point at your hips. You were confused so you look down where he's pointing at. Well now you're equally as shocked as him, if not because of the shining crystal blue orb hanging on your belt.

"What... I-I swear it wasn't there before?"

You whispered, questioning yourself because how did it get there? How did you even got a vision? What did you do? You know it's a vision because Lisa has taught you at the library back in Mondstadt. How? That was all in your mind.

You hear Paimon gasped, putting her hands on her mouth, "you got a vision! Let me see!". She flew to look at your vision before touching it to get a better look. "You got a cryo vision!" she exclaimed.

"Cryo? You mean I get the power of ice?" You question her. She nodded her, "Yes! Now you can help Aether to fight enemies!". Looking down at your feet, sighing. Aether asked you what's wrong and you simply said you don't know how to fight. Like actually fighting enemies with your own power, how to use it and how to handle it. What if you unintentionally hurt people around you? Aether chuckled at your response. You look up at him, tilting your head in confusion.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you"

----

"I wish kaeya was here"

"You don't like it when I teach you?!"

Chuckling at your friend, you said it's not that you don't like it when he teaches you. It's because "it would be easier if a cryo vision holder teaches me how to control the element", you says.

He let out a puff, while you were stroking Paimon's hair on your lap. She snores softly and you swear you could hear her mumbling sticky honey roast in her sleep. Giggling at her, you wonder how can she be cute and annoying at the same time. It's unfair you think. You turned your head to look at Aether and he was zoned out, as always.

"Mind telling me what's in your mind?"

You picked up his habits quite quickly, since you both attached to the hips all the time. You would notice he always does this when he's deep in thought. The same goes for him. You both can read each other like an open book.

He looks at you, smiling. Shaking his head and tells you he always thinks the same, about his sister. You smiled back at him, you assured him that you will meet her soon. And now, you both enjoy the calm breeze as you both watched the sun set over the blue horizon at the nearby cliff in Liyue.

"S-sticky honey roast... "

----

Annoyed.

That's how you feel right now.

This guy just keeps pestering you for 20 minutes now. You got separated with Aether as he got something to do with Zhongli, the Wangsheng Parlor Funeral Consultant. Aether wanted to let Paimon stay with you but you said you're fine on your own and you would enjoy alone time in the time being while waiting for them.

But you didn't expect this.

"Can you stop following me now?"

"Why would I?"

Rolling your eyes, you bump into his shoulder, or Childe as he call himself.

"Oh don't be like that girlie-" " I have a name shut up" you sigh for the nth time. You need to avoid this man, because he's one of the Fatui, you don't want to involve yourself and Aether with them. That's why you've been running and avoiding him at all cost.

"Well you never tell me your name girlie-"

"It's y/n okay? Now go you're getting on my nerve..."

you mumbled the last sentence. He only chuckles at your reaction as he enjoys it. You were buying some street food from the food stall and before you could give your mora to the seller, someone beats you to pay for the food. You were not complaining though, you didn't thank him either.

"Okay then but can I ask you one last question, y/n?" he smiles widely while you only look at him, chewing your spicy fish cake, unamused. His question however, almost send you to you death as you were choking on your food.

"W-what did you say?!" "I want to get to know about you"

Aether is not going to like this...

----

As expected, he was mad. No, he was furious.

"Why did you talk to him?!"

"I tried not to talk to him Aether, he kept following me when I tried to avoid him! To the point he creeps me out..."

Aether sighs, rubbing his forehead as Paimon watched you two arguing. Was this the only time Paimon shuts her mouth? Excluding the time she's asleep. She knows when to silent herself because this time, Aether is different in Paimon's eyes.

"So.. Did you agree?" he questioned, not giving you a glance. You shake your head, "No, of course I didn't. He's dangerous and he could hurt us if he has the opportunity..." Which is true. Childe is a harbinger, and you, just a mortal from another world who just got dumped to Teyvat out of nowhere.

Aether engulfs you in a hug, which surprised you. You could feel your cheeks burning from the physical contact. His arm wraps around your shoulder while the other strokes your hair, calming you.

"I won't let that happen to you, Paimon and me. I won't let him hurt us, I will promise you that I will protect you both from any danger. I don't want to lose another friend..." he says and the last sentence sounds more like a whisper to you but you understand him.

You also promised to yourself that you will protect paimon and him. Because you love them.

----

"Well traveller, you're quite stronger than I thought"

"Stay away from him!"

You yelled at the harbinger, keeping yourself from falling as you struggled to stand up. Paimon tried her best to keep Aether awake while you were guarding them, ready to attack him anytime.

Childe let out a loud laugh, as if he was mocking you and your companion. Shaking his head, he came closer to you.

"You know what, you're lucky that you didn't fall for my tricks" he chuckles. You were getting antsy everytime he take a step closer to you, "no one is fool enough to fall for a harbinger, Tartaglia" you sneered.

He was about to attack you with his hydro sword but you managed to dodged it with your power and turning it into an ice. You both fight for a while and fortunately, Aether came to help you.

After hours of fighting, that's what you think, you feel drained out. Slumping on the floor, you take a glance at Aether he was panting hard, Paimon at his side to support him. And Childe, he looks better than both you and Aether combined but he's still in a good shape.

As you were trying to stand up, you saw a glimpse of a woman at the corner of your eye. You widen your eyes and tried to push Aether away as you saw the woman was about to attack him with her sharp ice.

Signora.

You made a wall of ice to protect Aether and Paimon from her attacks. However, you didn't do it for you. You didn't protect yourself and got hit by the ice. The ice wall from you melts, so does Aether's world when he saw you, bleeding from your own element.

Childe was as shocked too, he thought you were a genuine person, he really do. Is this what it feels when you know someone personally got hurt? He can't imagine what Aether feels now.

You fell, you felt dizzy as you hit your head on the solid ground.

"Y/n!" Aether and Paimon yelled your name, but why do they sound like they're miles away?

"Y/n! Keep your eyes open! Don't you very dare to close your eyes!" Your friend screamed. Paimon is holding your hand while sobbing on you. "Y/n you can't leave us! Paimon still want to have fun with you!"

All you can do is cry. You don't want to leave them. You still haven't find your way back home, you can't. But you were losing so much blood and all you could do is remembering your moments with your friends.

Aether and Paimon.

Aether holds you on his lap, you could feel his tears falling on your cheek. He cups your cheek as he stares into your (e/c) orbs. To him, it resembles the stars on the night sky. He wish he could look at them like this before.

Not when you're dying.

He put his forehead on yours as he keeps repeating "please don't leave" to you. You promised him that you will protect him, but not stay with him. Did you regret it? Yes. You wish you could stay but you knew at the end, both of you will leave eventually.

But you didn't expect that you would leave them like this.

With all your might, you hover your hand over his that was on your cheek, rubbing it softly. "Promise me, we will meet someday, wether it be in our next life or in different universe, promise me we will meet again" you said, voice getting hoarse and staring to his golden eyes. You want to remember his eyes, his nose, his lips, his everything.

"Paimon doesn't want you to leave!" your little friend cried, you let out a loud sob as you pull her to your chest, soaking your bloody shirt with her tears. You three tried to cherish your last moment together, even though it was a tragic one, like now.

Aether tighten his hold on you, Paimon cries harder when she saw the colour of your vision starting to fade, knowing you couldn't make it.

"Paimon loves you, y/n", all you can do is cry, before your last breathe you hear Aether says "I promise you, we will meet again.. I love you"

Your vision faded, you fall into a deep sleep and everything turns dark.

----

"She's awake!"

"Call the doctor!"

You slowly opened your eyes, the bright light hurting your eyes, still adjusting to the surrounding. You could feel your tears were falling. Why did you cry? Then it hit you.

You were in the hospital.

You remember what happened, was that all just a dream? It feels real, way too real for your liking.

"Thank god, you're finally awake!" your mom sobs. Wait, your mom is here? You're finally back? You were supposed to be happy but why did you feel sad?

"H-how long did I... Sleep?" you asked, voice raspy as your throat lacks of hydration. Your mom gave you a glass of water and you gladly drink it, your throat still hurt.

"2 months now, you got hit by a car and the guy felt bad. He even insisted to pay for your bills", your mom says as she hold your hand. It's been a few minutes but you missed them. Aether and your little friend Paimon.

"Oh.." that's all you can say. You really don't know what to respond. You were happy that you're finally awake but you also missed people you met in Teyvat. Are they real or just your imagination?

"I forgot to tell you, the person who pays for your hospital bill will visit you. He always visits you when me and your dad is busy with work", you nodded your head, didn't have the energy to reply your mom back.

Suddenly, the door opens, revealing a tall man. You face him, only to widen your eyes as you were shocked to see the person in your dream.

"Childe?"

----

It's been a month since you got discharged from the hospital and been recovering well. You still struggle to walk on your own though, but nothing serious. Ever since you met childe, you both got along very well, not like the one in your dream.

"So... What I dreamed of during my coma was real?" You asked him, walking through the flowery path as the cherry blossom falls on the ground beside him arms clinging to his.

"Yeah. In fact, I'm still the same Childe in your dream!"

"Yeah as you wish. The only same thing is you keep paying things for me.. And being annoying"

You remarked. He only laughs and told you the reason why he keeps doing that is that it's the only kind action he could do, even now. But in reality, he felt guilty. He

"By the way, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. You won't mind right?"

"What's the point of asking me if you're going to introduce your friend to me now?"

"Geez woman, you're still the same"

you could only laugh at him. To you, he's a good friend but no one could replace Aether. If you met Childe, there's a possibility of you to meet Aether and Paimon right?

"Oi blondie! We're here!" Childe yelled, getting you out from your deep thoughts. You look up only to meet a pair of golden eyes that you've missed so much.

It feels like the time has stopped. He walked towards you and slowly, engulfed you in a hug. You were stunned, you meet him. You both found each other. You hugged him back, tightly. You let out tears of joy, he was relieved he found you that he also cried.

"You didn't forget me don't you?" You hear a feminine voice behind Aether, only to find Paimon crossing her arms, just like when you meet her for the first time. But what amazes you that she's in a different form. She looks... Like you. A woman.

Your eyes got teary again and went straight to her, giving her a big hug which she reciprocated. "I miss you so much Paimon" you burried your head into her neck. Paimon was happy she could meet her.

Childe and Aether could only look both of you with adoration. Aether cleared his throat, without looking at the man beside him, eyes still on you. "Thank you, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't find her"

The red haired man could only smile, "it's no problem. I couldn't face anyone after what happened in Teyvat. Think of this as my way to apologize". Aether couldn't answer, he only nodded his head to let him know he's listening.

You went to him only get a hug from you. You missed him so much. And you noticed Aether doesn't have his long braided hair anymore, which saddens you because you always play and braid his hair.

"I noticed that you finally got rid of your annoyingly long hair", you teased him. You hear him chuckled as he tightened his grip around you. "Can't let the annoyingly long hair distract people sweetie. People found it weird here"

"But I like it though..." you blushed at the pet name he gave you. You both just couldn't let go of each other now. He strokes your hair, enjoying each others presence. "I'm so glad that I found you", "me too, I'm glad you're here".

The other two friend only watched you two reunited again, hugging each other and won't let each other go because you missed each other so much that you both are afraid one of you vanished anytime. But it's real.

"Childe can we get some sticky honey roast?"

"Good grief, paimon.."

I NEED TIPS FOR FARMING PRIMOGEMS IN GENSHIN

IF I CAN’T GET CUTE EVIL HARBINGER AT LEAST LET ME HAVE GEO DADDY