This Should Not Have Gagged Me As Hard As It Did

Whenever I see an angry typed face like >:( I can never take it seriously. It looks like a grumpy little guy. It's like he's trying so hard to be angry but can't.

May all your favorite movies get absolutely horrible sequels

“69” is now known as “96”.

Thanks to inflation the cost of eating out has gone way up.

Today's Seal Is: Some Kind Of Wuppy

I mean, he isn't wrong.

"Oceans are big soups of death. ...And life."

-Oceanography professor

A robber held up a well-dressed man, pointing his gun and yelling, “Give me all your money!”

The man replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m a U.S. congressman!” 

The robber retorted, “In that case, give me all my money!”

Quoll

Scorpion in Your Tent 

One day, the US military decided to take a poll to see how the different branches handle a specific situation, in this case a scorpion in a service member’s tent. One representative from each major branch is selected, and each answers privately.

The question was a simple one: “There is a scorpion in your tent. What do you do?”

Army: “I would crush it with my boot and throw it outside.”

Navy: “I would pick it up by the tail and throw it outside.”

Marines: “I’d bite its head off before cooking and eating it.”

Air Force: “I’d call down to the front desk and ask why there’s a tent in my hotel room.”

Epic the Musical: Tournament Bracket!

Week 1: Match 3