Lemme tell you something about being transmasc and recovering from the abuse of a cis man. I’ve spent a majority of my adulthood running like hell from who my father was and seriously interrogating what I was taught about gender roles. You know what actually helped me most? No longer seeing my own masculinity as a cross to bear and something I must actively work against. I’m not responsible for my father’s choices, he is. Being a man isn’t why he made them, he made them because he’s him. To me, statements like “he’s a man and that’s what they do” lets him off the hook. No, that’s what abusers do.
To me, "having made it" as a trans woman isn't passing.
It's about not needing to shave your legs anymore to feel feminine.
It's about not needing to wear makeup anymore to feel feminine.
It's about not worrying about every step or sound you make to make sure you seem feminine.
It's about trying to get your hair to look just right, and instead of thinking "RAAAH NOO!! I'll never pass like this everyone will think I'm a man!", you think "Bleh, bad hair day... Oh well"
It's about feeling feminine no matter what you do, no matter what others think. Especially that last part.
It's about knowing, accepting, deep down, that you are a woman, and nothing you do or don't do will change that fact.
That's when I know I made it.
Got a terf in my sideblog and the reply is not worth deigning with a response but the pinned post?
This? This is a trap. This is concern baiting. Be very sure that shit like this is not in your best interest and does not care about you. The goal of rhetoric like this is conversion.
You’ll be welcomed and asked to ignore transphobia. You will be asked to side with transphobes at the expense of trans women. Eventually, you’ll be asked to see that, hey, maybe you transitioned to escape how terrible it is to be a woman?
This may seem obviously a trap but I see people every day buy into this. People like this do not care about you! They want to “rescue” you and don’t let them convince you otherwise.
detransition isn't a mark of failure, it's one that shows you were willing to take a huge step to figure out who you are, and you came out the other side learning something from your experience. it's more important to find that out than to spend the rest of your life wondering, and not knowing
I am trans not because I feel extreme dysphoria as a girl, but I feel extreme euphoria as a boy. The first time I went out in public presenting masculine, and had people refer to me as a boy, filled me with such giddy joy that I can't properly describe. It felt right, it felt like I'd found the missing piece of my life, and that's honestly incredible
i blog for the ppl in their 20s being slowly driven insane by living with parents theyre closeted to ONLY!!!!