TERFs: Having A Penis Makes You Inherently Evil

"america has been sliding into fascism since trump was elected" "america has been sliding into fascism since Reagan" the founding fathers owned people.

A vent, inspired by conversations from earlier about sexual entitlement

As a nonbinary person who likes to present in a way that gets interpreted as "goth woman" the fucking entitlement that people have over me/my sexuality is wild.

Like on one hand you've got the people who want me to be their goth dommy mommy and too and/or dom them when like. I can switch and dom people on occasion, but there's very few people I consider it worth it to do. In sex (not kink) I am exclusively a bottom and thankfully that hasn't been an issue but that's usually because when people realize I'm not going to dom them they stop pursuing things.

But on the other hand there's the people who do respect me as a sub and a bottom, but because I'm goth and kinky they take it as a blanket permission to just like, live out whatever sexual fantasy they have. Just straight up sexual assault on a somewhat regular basis because people can't be bothered to ask before they start to choke me because I'm goth and kinky and they've seen it in porn so it must be fine (it's not, you can kill someone even if you choke them properly, and a solid chunk of these people don't actually know how to do it properly).

So yeah as someone read as a "goth woman" it feels like it's literally impossible to get away from people having sexual expectations of me and being annoyed when I'm not a conscious sex toy that'll do whatever it is they want me to. Like it's one thing when it's just jokes, I don't mind playing along when someone asks me to step on them or whatever, but when people are seriously expecting me to be sexual in specific ways that I'm just not it can get really really awful.

And it was really frustrating a few months ago when comp top/"let trans women be bottoms/subs" discourse was going around TRF circles and they were like "trans women have been through a lot and they deserve to be taken care of instead of needing to take care of others" (which I agree with) "so therefore if you're not a trans woman you should dom/top and take care of trans women" when like.

I am someone who has been through significantly worse trauma than most people I know, and have always been placed in the role of taking care of others. Part of why I only dom certain people is because of my trauma of being forced to raise my younger brothers and play parent to my own mother. I am very much in the category of people who've been through it who have always been expected to do things for others and who deserves to be taken care of. And there was just no acknowledgement from that group that people other than trans women might be in the position of having had to take care of others and being deserving of support and care now.

It feels like the same entitlement as the people irl who want me to be their goth dommy mommy. Society has decided that people like me are people it's fair to feel entitlement towards, and like. That entitlement is in a large part why I can't be what people want. I'm a human being, and while I know how to take care and be there for others, I'm not going to do it without being taken care of myself because I've spent too many years of my life giving to others and getting nothing in return.

Everyone deserves to be happy, to have the sexual experiences that they're looking to have, to be taken care of if that's what they wish, but while we all deserve these things it is unfair to expect them to come from any specific individual, and if someone is telling you no to these things you find someone else to ask, not try to get your needs met by someone who has made it clear they don't want to.

Very well said anon. <3

non-transmasc. before you is a transmasc person talking about their experiences with being transmasculine and the oppression that they experience for being transmasculine. the bomb detonates if you tell them to just call it transphobia, if you imply their oppression/experience is incorrect, if you tell them that they signed up for it for being transmasculine. begin.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I fell asleep in my friends' arms. It was eleven at night, we were tired, curled up in a small pile on my tiny bed. I had my head buried in my roommate's side, and one of my closest friend's hand on my shoulder, steadying me. It was quiet and nothingness and peace and their heartbeats in my ears, my hands in their hair.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

We pack four people to that little bed, you know. Laps used as footrests, collarbones as pillows, little lights like moonlight in rustic yellow bathed on their faces. The TV plays an anime. The words are repeated by my dear friend on my shoulder, curled close. My legs are asleep; my roommate may be, too.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

The cat curls on top of our criss cross mess of legs and arms and heads on chests to absorb the warmth of us all. She purrs in contented peace. When my roommate and I are left alone in the quiet, she cries, and watches the door for our friends' return.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I will never kiss them but the top of their heads. I will never touch but the warmth of their arms. I will never take more than what's freely given, and in return I put my glasses on the bedside table fashioned from a guitar amp, and when I lean into their sides, I pick up my vulnerability and place it in their capable, tender hands.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I sing for them. I cry for them. I work and I run and I withstand the worst of the world for them, because some days I get to cradle their forehead on my shoulder and some days I get to see their shining eyes.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Maybe to you. But look beyond explanation. I love them. With my heart in my unsteady hands, with my nose pressed to the side of their head, with the buzzing in my feet and the warmth all around Iike the sunset pushing into the window.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Is it enough to say I love them? With no strings attached? With reckless abandon and utter devotion and freedom and kindness and fear?

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I cannot explain it any clearer. I love my friends. There is no more to say.

So you hate pancakes ass moment fr

The average woman working in the healthcare industry cannot comprehend a transgender man existing.

Eyes of the forest. Aspen trees

Transfem oppression: yeah the other day this jealous cis girl told me I have an obvious adam's apple and that I'll never be a real woman and now I wanna die because I'm not pretty like the other girls!!!

Transmasc oppression: yeah the other day this guy that had a crush on me in high school found out I transitioned and now he keeps texting me begging me to detransition for him, and he somehow found out where I live and where I work, and he keeps sending me rape threats. Also yesterday I went to the men's restroom and I almost got raped but thankfully my friend walked in before anything happened. Thank god nothing happened especially because if I got pregnant I'd get no treatment cause I already changed the gender marker on my birth certificate.

See how stupid that was? See how when I talked about "transfem oppression" I cherry picked a specific issue that mostly affects white binary trans women, completely overlooking the experiences of trans women of color and non-binary transfems. See how this post willfully ignores the very real violence that happens to transfems? See how this doesn't help transmascs at all and only undermines transfems. See how this implies that cis men only target transmascs, and that cis women are incapable of violence?

Wow it's almost as if we don't have to gaslight one group and undermind their experiences in order to talk about the experiences of the other... Funny that.

TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE NOT CIS WOMEN

SOME TRANS MEN MIGHT ALSO IDENTIFY AS CIS WOMEN BUT THAT IS NOT THE MAJORITY OF TRANS MEN

AND MOST OF US ARE NOT TREATED AS CIS WOMEN JUST BECAUSE WE DONT PASS

A LOT OF US ARE INTERSEX AND HAVE HIRSUTISM OR ARE VERY VISIBLY TRANS OR GENDER NONCONFORMING AND WE GET TREATED LIKE SHIT FOR IT BY SOCIETY BECAUSE WE ARE QUEER AND OPPRESSED

STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE OF TRANS MEN WHEN YOURE A TRANS WOMAN THAT DOESNT KNOW A GODDAMN THING ABOUT US OR OUR OPPRESSION

CALLING TRANS MEN "CIS WOMEN" IS SO DEEPLY TRANSPHOBIC ON ITS OWN JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

TMA/TME users: before you is a person with tits, a beard, and long hair. They are wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Your challenge is to fit them into your binary without being weird about their genitals and asking invasive questions. Go.