Cure 97

Was it such a big ask to have them say they'd be proud of me

Holding on gets harder and harder everyday and I don’t really see myself having a future.

I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this

sue zhao / unknown / suzanne rivecca - death is not an option / Horace Vernet, The Maiden’s Lament (oil on canvas) / Louise Glück, Adult Grief / unknown

so last year during a period of intense suicidal depression i made this necklace that i always wear, right, and the thing is it's genuinely brought me a lot of comfort and relief and i've developed a strong sentimental attachment to it, to the point that i can inarguably state that it's had a net positive effect on my mental wellbeing. however i did now just have to stop to almost throw up laughing because i realised that i've succumbed to the amulet.

i can’t do it anymore. i just want to give up on everything. i have nothing left to give.

he think he asuka langely soryu

this stemmed from a long conversation about lord english and his components and how each of their experiences would be like. they would’ve been able to watch all their ancestors be born, grow up, and eventually die, not to mention themselves as well.

at least for equius, it’d suck to find out you’re directly responsible for the pain and suffering of your entire race for all of time. and have to watch, just watch, and not be able to do a thing about it.

we thought it would’ve been especially awful for equius to have seen darkleer die they way he did (the refrance). especially in the way it mirrored his own death, which was the reason he’s here in the first place, etc etc.

i have more thoughts, but i don’t want to write out a whole essay right now.

with my first ever paycheck i bought myself two canisters of helium incase i ever wanted to kill myself so i hid them in my closet and then i ended up living so they were just there for years and i finally decided to get rid of them so i recruited my mom to help me dispose of them properly bcs they’re literally metal canisters of compressed gas so you gotta recycle them properly and her response was to put them on her church-mom-swap group chat saying ‘my daughter bought these for a special occasion that never came to pass, they’re available for free if anyone can pick them up!!’ speechless.

slip from my zine – a handy life hack