Yumesanosuke - Kolya's Slut

The first Beta Build for Potion Pleasing has been released!! 🧙🧪 This contains the prologue of the game that's around 2300+ words!!

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Potion Pleasing - Beta Build 01 (Prologue) | Pri Karin

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my favorite meme

nikolai and the pursuit of freedom

wowzers wouldja look at that !! welcome to: nyx gets better at essay structure

quick little thing abt how nikolai views freedom altho its not super in depth sorry nikolai fans :ppp

anyway pls enjoy! (i dont think any trigger warnings apply but please let me know if there are and i will tag them/gen)

It’s time for a quiz! How does one become free?

It’s a question that Nikolai has contemplated for, seemingly, years. Nikolai works in strange ways in a desperate attempt to liberate himself from all emotions, permanently.

The conclusion that Nikolai has drawn is that being alive is a cage. Being human is a cage. Wishing for freedom like that of a bird’s, Nikolai rejects his emotions in all ways possible.

This is because Nikolai believes that freedom is found in defiance, just as birds must defy gravity in order to fly. And so, Nikolai contradicts his very nature. He displays a clownish persona, not to hide his true, contemplative self, but to lose it completely. Nikolai doesn’t kill because he cares not for human life, but it’s precisely because he does that he feels the need to contradict his aversion to cruelty by harming others. In order to be free, by Nikolai’s definition, he must completely forget his original self to become something free.

In a sense, this alienates him. Very few acknowledge the restrictive nature of following one’s emotions, and very few understand why he would conduct himself how he does. There is only one individual who Nikolai truly believed understood him, and that would be the heavily intelligent Fyodor.

Acknowledging Nikolai’s desire to lose sight of his original personality and contradict his thoughts at every turn was Fyodor Dostoevsky. And Nikolai is moved, he feels his essence to be understood by Fyodor in a way that is so alien to him to the point that it almost hurts. Nikolai truly loves how it feels to be understood by someone. It appears that, in being understood, he only drifts further from his goal. 

Experiencing adoration like never before towards Fyodor, Nikolai resolves to kill him. To wipe from the face of the earth the one who understands him so that Nikolai can go back to complete incomprehensibility in the eyes of others because Nikolai does not wish for understanding. He wishes for freedom, and being understood does not have a place in Nikolai’s definition.

If there are specific events which have led to Nikolai’s resolve at all is still unknown. However, a reader can only hope to see where exactly Nikolai’s pursuit to freedom will take him. How far he can go before he twists into a monster, trapped by his own definition of freedom.

Fox Window

`•- Catching Feelings

matthias czernin x reader

prompt: pining / mutual pining

warnings: physical touch

a/n: i am the ceo of matthias czernin. he is everything ever to me. i spent everything i had (118 pulls so far) and he still hasn't come home. i actually cried a teeny tiny bit over not getting him. i have an extreme emotional attachment to this man. i love him sm!!! also this is day 3 of the valentines event yippee

when it comes to romance, matthias doesn't know a thing.

he's used to being forgotten in favor of louis all his life, and he expected to continue being ignored once he got to the manor. so, when you welcomed him in with a warm smile, he was most certainly caught off guard.

what shocked matthias even more, though, was the way you always seemed to offer him advice and a helping hand in matches. you even considered him as a friend, despite you two only meeting recently.

over the months, the two of you grew much closer to one another. although he's quiet, has a hard time talking, and stumbles over his words a lot, you're always very patient with him, and he always appreciated your kindness. it was only natural that this appreciation would soon turn into adoration.

matthias doesn't really notice it at first. as mentioned before, he's not really used to having people hang around with him, so he doesn't realize whatsoever how his heartbeat speeds up and a feeling of fondness overtakes him whenever he's around you.

when he does notice it, though, oh boy. he's certainly thrown for a loop. what first made him realize his feelings was a simple and mundane action from you that made him feel a lot more flustered than he should've. it wasn't anything special, you just happened to pull him into a warm, gentle hug and tell him that he did well after a match, but matthias practically froze as butterflies fluttered in his stomach and a soft red tinted his cheeks, rendering him speechless as he tried to regain his composure without alerting or concerning you.

later that day, once the both of you returned to the manor, matthias practically made a beeline to his bedroom, locking himself in and sitting down on his bed. he lost himself in his thoughts as he replayed your kind actions in his mind. he thought about the way he felt in that moment. up until now, matthias had just thought it was normal that he felt a bit warmer whenever he was around you rather than others, but now, he wasn't so sure. he had never felt such an intense surge of emotion before, and the fact that such a simple yet kind action from you made him feel so fuzzy and warm inside really made him question himself. matthias buried his face into his hands as he slowly, almost begrudgingly realized that he wanted to be much more than a friend to you.

the next time you two are hanging around with each other, he's a lot more reserved around than before. don't get me wrong, he still likes having conversations with you and being around you, of course. he just doesn't talk as much as he did before (which already wasn't a lot) because he's afraid of letting his emotions take ahold of him and accidentally saying something stupid. you're the only person who's ever really been kind and stuck around him, and he doesn't want to risk ruining it all.

what matthias doesn't realize is how obvious he is. whenever he's around you, as much as he doesn't want to show it, he always gets awkward and a bit red in the face. whenever he thinks you're not looking, he sneaks a few glances at you, a look of pure adoration in his eyes. he's always been a bit fidgety, but he's especially so when he's around you. he thinks he's doing a good job at hiding it, but you catch on pretty quickly.

he's afraid to confess. as mentioned earlier, he doesn't want to risk ruining your friendship because of his feelings. he's afraid of having to let you go. as much as he dreams of being in a relationship with you, he just doesn't think you'd ever feel the same way about him. you'd have to knock some sense into him. sit down and talk things out with him, start with telling about how much you've enjoyed spending time with him ever since you two met, and if he still doesn't get the message, just flat-out confess to him.

when you do, his face immediately becomes redder than a tomato. matthias stutters and looks at you wide-eyed, and you can't help but quietly laugh at how adorable he looks in the moment. if you want to fluster him even more, gently hold his hand and pull him into a soft kiss. he'll freeze up for a moment as he tries to process your affection, but pretty soon he just melts and gently kisses you back.

congratulations, you now have matthias czernin practically wrapped around your finger.

a/n: i love matthias czernin he is everything ever to me and i would do anything for him <33

thanks for reading, and remember to take care of yourself!

a fragile-hearted monster & a warm beautiful soul

- reblog or credit if used

scaramouche is so freaking hilarious to me cause like. look at him. he's a short man with so much rage. he's famously very pretty when he's not snarling at you. he wears an ostentatious hat that can be seen from a mile away. he was 'set free' by his mom/creator for having a heart then proceeded to spend the next five centuries looking for one. he was adopted by a bunch of swordsmiths when found in the wild. he knows how to make a sword as he was taught by the best professional swordsmoths of his country. he knows how to take care of babies and small children, even if they're sick. he also knows how to make a nation collapse on itself and gained a whole moniker out of it. those qualities somehow exist simultaneously. he killed the entirety of raiden gokuden but spared the descendant of the man he thought had betrayed him because even then he held love in his heart for him. he literally endured dottore's mad experiments for probably centuries. he's been to the abyss. he figured out that Teyvat's sky is fake. he straight up reached into the tree of life and erased himself so that he could reverse the fate of those he had wronged. not even vengeance. that wasn't even priority, no he wanted to save the ones he loved. when that didn't work he accepted his memories and decided to work on atonement and vengeance. at the same time. he enrolled in the akademiya – the highest educational facility in Teyvat – by getting into an argument with a bunch of researchers because he has to have the last word. he woke up in a fantasy world and scoffed at the prophecy handed to him. he saved the replica of one of Gold's most dangerous creations by saying 'you need head pats, friends and therapy'. he then proceeded to give the head pats, friendship and therapy to his baby-sized dragon friend. he wakes up everyday and chooses violence, then somehow managed to be kind anyway.

he's so funny. I love him so much.

Intro☆

-He/They

-Request (Open)

-Possibility Autistic

-Basic DNI

-IDV Characters I Write For-