Bakugo: Okay, Since We’re Living In Dorms Now, There’s Some Shit Y’all Need To Know

Bakugo: okay, since we’re living in dorms now, there’s some shit y’all need to know

Iida: it’s good of you to open up, Bakugo!

Bakugo: fuck off, I don’t mean me. I mean about Deku.

Uraraka: shouldn’t he tell us himself? It’s pretty rude to expose his secrets

Bakugo: these aren’t fucking secrets. They’re safety precautions.

Kirishima: so manly that you’re concerned about him!

Bakugo: I’m not. This warning is for *you*. If you don’t listen, it’s not my problem.

1-A, nervous: ...

Bakugo: if you see him out of his room past midnight, do 👏 not 👏 approach 👏 him 👏 and call me immediately. I don’t care if I’m sleeping, wake me up and tell me where he is. Do not approach him.

Midoriya: this is a little dramatic Kacchan

Kaminari: I don’t get it. What’s the big deal?

Bakugo, grimacing: this little shit sleep-fights. It was bad enough when he didn’t use his quirk. I’m telling you for your own health. If you don’t want to spontaneously fucking die, do not interact.

Midoriya: it’s not as bad as it sounds.

Kaminari: I’m sure it’ll be fine dude

——————————One Week Later——————————

Bakugo: what did I tell you?

Kaminari: don’t approach him after midnight

Bakugo, turning to Kirishima: and what did he do?

Kirishima, sighing: approached him after midnight

Bakugo, to Midoriya: and what did YOU do?

Midoriya, tearing up: Detroit smashed him through a wall and destroyed the ground floor of the dorms

Bakugo, back to Kaminari: and where are you now

Kaminari, disturbed: in the hospital after briefly visiting god