i love my mother. i really do. There isn't a thing i would not do for her
To keep that child like joy in her heart , that warm smile on her aging face and those loving blurry eyes on me forever
But sometimes im tired. Im tired of listening about the baggage that she has been carrying around like a school bag from her childhood
Im tired of hearing about all the grudges she has been holding onto like a hand
Im tired of comforting her about her deepest insecurities as if our bodies and souls don't share the same outline
Im tired of her reciting the most heart rending memories of her life to me as if they were bedtime stories
Im tired of revisiting those ghost houses and remembrances of people with hearts made of plastic through her anecdotes
Im tired of not knowing what to do or how to take her pain away, so for once the roles are reversed where she gets to sleep like a child and i get to worry like a mother
and mostly im tired of living her grief twice because what is a daughter if not the extension of her mothers despair ?
-ambika
The slight clean scent of aftershave when come out of the shower
That gentleness and control of their hands when they touch women because they don't want to hurt them
When you can see their smile lines, even when they're not smiling
The scars on their body that they've had since they were a kid and they just never faded away.
The scratchy feeling on their face or the rough texture of their palms
The voice they start making when they're talking to a puppy
That one voice crack when they're getting emotional
ٹھنڈی دوستی کی بھیک مت مانگو دکھاوے سے تعلق نہ مانگو، کسی ایسے شخص کا انتظار نہ کرو جو آنے والا نہ ہو… اپنے دماغ میں ترقی کرو..!
Don't beg for cold friendships, don't ask for pretentious relationships, don't wait for someone who isn't coming…grow your mind..!
The greatest intro to a bollywood song still remanins "Ae meri meri zohra jabeen"
Desi Middle Class ✨Aesthetic✨
Kiraya ka ghar, chai ki tapri, buying new clothes twice or at max thrice a year during festive occasions, steel ka dabba, bigger uniform size to make sure you keep fitting into it for at least two years, feeling proud to own a Trimax pen, dada dadi or nana nani's tel malish, visiting temple towns for vacations, train journeys with lots of chips packed to munch on and mummy ke parathe or puri bhaji, having to wait patiently for your turn to use the bathroom unless and until you have two bathrooms and both of them are equally functional, never been on a flight or have been only once by luck, noticing that your dad rarely buys new shirts for himself, lingering looks on that beautiful but expensive dress, your mother touches that one lovely saree for the last time and you promise to yourself that when you start earning, you will gift her every saree she will land her gaze upon, covering rough notebooks with newspapers, start studying maths for the new school year during summer vacation, sharing a room and sometimes the same study table with your siblings, beaming at your bade bhaiya or didi when they show you how to make a paper boat/paper airplane, you are growing up and for the first time you see your older sibling break down in their room all by themselves and realization dawns that even they need a comforting hug, Tu kab badi huyi?, Wanting to gift a good car to your father with your own salary, the entire family dreams to own their own house someday, the first time you realize what a middle class family really is, fights and quarrels that always end with silent apologies over the dining table, beta doctor ya engineer? Kya matlab arts lena hai? Humare family se just pass hone vale bhi science liye? You wipe your own tears and strengthen your resolve to fight for your own dreams, parents are proud that you proved them wrong with your career and subject choice, sadly dropping out of dance, music, arts and sports classes as soon as you begin 10th grade -- lucky ones still continue them, watching Indian tv serials with mummy during afternoons after coming back from school, thoda toh pocket money badha do?? Storing money everywhere in the house, counting coins as a child and thinking yourself to be very rich, chota ghar magar sapne bade yeh hai middle class parivar ki kahani
I was watching Wagle ki duniya and later mummy and I were talking about our lifestyle after which she played a Sudha Murthy video where she was talking about the middle class lifestyle, and then I made this post by reflecting on some of my own experiences. I know that the above post doesn't still complete the middle class life there are so many things remaining but I tried my best to summarise from my own observation and experiences.
I have lived a small part of my life with the more economically advantaged groups too (samridhi just say rich) and I am seeing and have also seen the other side too that isn't as gleaming as I used to think but nevertheless it's colourful, so I wanted to write something on it as a lesson I learnt in these 3 years and for the lesson which will live with me for my future endeavours. Probably this post will also be a sahara sort of thing when I again spiral down some crying lane over my exams.
I have so many stories from my 11th 12th and drop year timeline that I will soon share because as I always believe in the end being good no matter what, be it whatever college I get in or whatever I do, this experience taught me things that no school classroom could do. I may sound like a dadi now but yes maybe in the upcoming time if some of you younger lot do stumble on this in times that seem dark and full of certainty, I hope those stories will bring hope in your hearts
Bas bhai yeh dadimaa kirdar ab kuch samay paschat
desi x med school dark academia (proff exams edition)
Students
• the one always willing to answer every dumb question you come up with
• the one you call whenever you are having a breakdown and need a dose of motivation
• the one you know you can still talk about fun stuff with without being guilt tripped
• the one who seems to be handling it all the best but is actually struggling the most
• the one always coming up with weird connections and theories because they have studied everything and now their only goal in life is to confuse everyone else
• the one who starts planning the post proff party even before the exams actually start
• the one with too many connections with seniors; keeps making their own guess paper
• the one with too many connections with teachers; keeps spreading rumours
• the one who’s still looking nice for every viva
• the one who ignores their books all year long but is now the major theeta of the group
• the one who stops studying after the written exams because “vivas to ho hee jate hain”
• the one whose all practical notebooks are unfinished and unchecked and is now panicking
• the one gaining 5 pounds every proff season because they stress eat
• the one losing 5 pounds every proff season evacsue they stress starve
Teachers/Examiners
• the one who’ll keep saying “phir soch lein” to every answer you give even if it’s the correct answer
• the one who is supposedly the nicest but gives you the hardest time
• the external whose lunch break lasts an entire lifetime
• the one who turns up late but still takes the longest viva
• the one who barely asks two questions but still ends up being your worst viva experience
• the one paying way too much attention to your internal assessment
• the one who spends more time asking personal questions and never actually gets to the point
Chintata chita chota is still gotta be greatest dance step without being a dance step
my toxic trait is thinking I can do THIS without fail 🤣
When Pablo Neruda said, “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride.”
When Gulzar said, “Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin zindagi to nahin.”
When Emily Bronte said, “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
When Rahat Fateh Ali Khan said, “Tum jo aaye zindagi mein, baat ban gayi.”
And when Elvis Presley said, “But I can’t help falling in love with you.”