My Cats Have This Meow That Means "please Come With Me To Fix This" After Which They'll Lead Me To The

art of ppl using canes makes me so happy i'm like ":O 🫵 I DO THAT"

it's quite frustrating when you work up the courage to tell someone you have DID, but they hit you with "well, *i've* never noticed you switch" or "to me you're always the same person".

i think those statements are so misinformed to how DID (most often) presents. there are some things to note when observing DID from the outside:

not all cases of DID are overt. overt refers to your symptoms, switches & differences between alters being obvious to people from the outside. overt DID is less common than its counterpart *covert* (more secretive) DID. in covert DID, symptoms may be less noticeable from the outside, & that may lead to difficulty being diagnosed.

masking. masking is the ability some people possess to pretend to be someone/something that they are not. in DID, alters who are not the host part may mask as the host part to feel safe, undetectable, or simply out of instinct. before discovery of the system, this may be a subconscious effort; after discovery of the system, this may be purposeful in order to hide alter differences from others, for any reason.

complexity of identity. let us imagine that the host in a system is an ambivert - not quite introverted, & not quite extroverted. this host switches out, in front of their friend group, & a social part or other extroverted & friendly alter takes their place. their friends assume that they are just in a "friendlier mood", while in reality this person has switched. meanwhile this alter has a completely different set of interests, identity, & such, but since it is not brought up in conversation, the friend group does not suspect their friend has switched between separated self-states. identity is complex, & alters are (often, not always) able to feel & express a large range of emotions, depending in their mood. this can make it harder to tell the difference between an alter being in a strange mood, & a whole new part fronting!

so, next time you meet someone with DID, believe them. not all of our experiences are visible! edit: "DID" here can also be replaced with OSDD1, P-DID or UDD, but i just used DID because that's my specific experience.

Printing this and hanging it up in the laundry room ☺

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma.

The Tri-Phasic model of trauma consists of three healing phases:

1. Safety & Stability

2. Remembering & Grieving

3. Reconnecting & Integration

“She would sit here, with Crowley. She would sit, in compassionate honesty, with him. She would sit with him, for as long as he needed, as long as it took for him to feel safe enough to emerge from his cocoon.”

Inspired by the same name fanfic by Nnm on ao3, you can read it here:

Words cannot describe how much impact this beautiful fan-fiction has on me. It gave me the courage to pick up my own tree, one day it’ll become a forest too, just like Aubrey’s. Thank you.

my utopia has disability in it. my utopia includes free healthcare and no-questions welfare and state-funded carers. my utopia includes building requirements that centre disabled bodies — ramps and lifts and dimmer switches and braille signs. my utopia has disability in it. because without disability, it’s not much of a utopia at all

sometimes i start to slide back into the mindset of "what if I'm not really disabled and I'm just faking it" or "what if everything could be cured by just doing x, y, z" etc.

and then i remember that during lockdown in 2020 i spent 6 months — like every single minute of that six months — focused on taking care of my health and doing everything right

i slept 8+ hours, i drank lots of water, i got a decent amount of (non-straining) exercise, i went for walks and got fresh air, i ate balanced meals, etc. etc.

and my health got worse.

i did everything right, continuously, for months, and was still disabled. there is literally nothing i could have done to "fix it". i'm not faking it, i was alone (mostly) and trying to convince myself that everything was fine, and i was still in debilitating pain.

everything has been so much better with disability aids. having my cane has been life-changing. using sensory aids, life-changing! a non-disabled person wouldn't benefit this much from disability aids!!!

i think this is coming up again for me because I've become a relatively well-known person on campus for disability (and queer!) issues, and despite having all of my lived experience and the drive to deal with things, i still feel underqualified.

there are other people who are "more disabled", or have "been disabled" longer than me (since things were really only dealt with during lockdown after my experiment, it's only been like 3-4 years with a diagnosis). sometimes i feel like i'm taking away an opportunity from someone that would be more qualified to do things.

logically though, i'm not. most of these things i have either started myself, or other people have convinced me to get involved with because i seem "qualified" to talk about it. I've had four meetings this week about campus accessibility, people actively seek me out to ask questions, i do regularly deal with ableism and inaccessibility even if it's to a lesser extent than some other people — but the stuff i'm doing is to help everyone, not for personal gain. i'm not pretending to be disabled for selfish reasons. there are clear access barriers that directly affect me as well and i am doing everything in my power to take them down.

anyways you can't really fake being disabled, especially not to yourself. ;)

That DID vibe when you're filled with rage and anxiety and you feel like you're about to fucking snap and then suddenly your thoughts aren't coming through clearly and you feel like you can't move (even tho you CAN) and then.... Calm. Serenity. Indifference. Neutral. You no longer know what you were about to say, or why you felt so angry and anxious. Then you're like "Oh. I switched."

Plurality Wrapped

This year you:

Fakeclaimed yourself 5,729 times

Accidentally discovered 92 trauma memories

Immediately forgot 92 trauma memories

Contradicted something a different headmate said 288 times

Almost outed yourself 45 times

Had littles spend all your money 67 times

Forgot what you were doing 2,890 times

Failed to mask as the host 176 times

Split who knows how many new headmates

Repeated the same story 39 times

Got jumpscared by your reflection 103 times

Your top moods this year:

Who the fuck am I

What if I’m secretly faking it

How long have I been standing here dissociating

I suddenly hate (current activity)

When did we split (headmate)???

"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity