110% Not A Lie - Blog Posts

Have you seen this man??

He is wanted in over 12 countries for the following crimes:

The nicking of countless doodads, whooziewhatsits, and whaddyacallthems.

Breaking into multiple buildings to scream at the inhabitants.

4st degree manslaughter.

Dubious behaviours.

Arson.

Pirating of countless songs, movies, and ancient treasure chests.

7 counts of breaking the Geneva code.

Plucking of feathers from hats.

Shitting on the shoulders of innocent victims.

Stealing the ice from the south pole to, quote-on-quote; "Create the west pole."

The kidnapping of worms from their tunnels.

And countless other crimes, some of which are not to be publicly known.

Please, if you see this scrunkly fellow. Phone us at 901-16. (we could not afford the rest of the numbers.)

A warning, he is believed to carry over 8 knifes on his person at all times, so we implore you to keep your distance.