3d F4st - Blog Posts
Eastern was not good. Fuck holidays. But now on track again. One meal every second day.
Feeling exhausted. 3d needs patience
At times it is only sadness. And 3d is even more my friend
Ate an apple yesterday ๐ญ. And feel I failed @n@ and my best friend.
I am not accepting anymore that "3d" stands for a disorder. It is not a disorder for me. It is my personal way to growth, discipline and pureness. Therefore I will in future see "3d" as "eating dharma", a spiritual way to grow. Like so many enlighted humans have done in religion and spirituality
Early in the morning, second day fasting. I am happy. I am not alone in that. I feel the warmth of doing it together, living it together. Being less, purging away all superficial, all unecessary. Being pure at the end. Feeling being loved and being able to love.
Waking up and feeling dedicated and strong. I will fast the whole weekend, at least until Sunday. The goal is as everyday to purge away all superficial and diminish to pureness. But now I know I am not alone with it.
@n@ is for me more than the desire to be pretty. @n@ is for me the deep desire to purge away my body. It is a deep spiritual process for me. It is no 3d, it means liberation and the deep desire to be pure. (I respect ALL motives of you guys here)
Essentially I want to be less. Diminished. 20 kg of me are not needed. I want to be less visible. Paradoxically I find a friend(s) here who sees me. This makes me happy. So I want to disappear while being happy to be seen.
I have an important exam tomorrow which lasts all the day. Normally I would not eat at all today, but then I sleep not good. So I might need to eat, but I will try to eat as late as possible. I hate it.
After 48 hours fasting I was so exhausted that I nearly was not able to run, only 6 instead of 10 km. So I decided to eat something. The funny thing is, after intermittent fasting I cannot binge anymore. There is no space in my belly. And that is genius.
In this box is the key of the kitchen. I can't enter it. I will run afterwards and then leaving the house immediately. No chance to eat. Tomorrow the same. I could block the kitchen irreversible up to 99 hours, but I am not always alone...
I agree, accept from diet coke. I believe that any artificial sweetener fucks the system up, which is not good. I don't think artificial sweets are dangerous generally, but giving a fasting body a sweet taste induced insuline activity and compromises the other good hormones. I keep to green tea as much as possible.
๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ ๐ฉฐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฎ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ
๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฌ
๐๐๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ข๐ญ. ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฒ๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ, ๐ฐ๐ก๐ข๐๐ก ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ ๐จ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ. ๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ญ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ข ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ. ๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฑ๐ญ๐๐๐ง ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฉ!
๐๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฉ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ. ๐๐ ๐ฎ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐!๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐, ๐๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐ง๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ ๐@๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ค๐ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฒ, ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ฌ. ๐๐ก๐จ๐ฌ๐ "๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฌ" ๐ฐ๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฐ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ.
๐๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง. ๐๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ญ, ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ญ. ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐ซ ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฎ, ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐๐ฌ ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ.
๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ญ๐๐ซ. ๐๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฌ. ๐๐ง๐ ๐ข ๐๐จ๐ง'๐ญ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง ๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐ญ ๐ง๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ก๐ฎ๐ ๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐ง๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฒ, ๐ข ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฒ. ๐๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฉ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ. ๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐๐
๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ. ๐๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ง'๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐ฎ ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ง. ๐๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐๐ค๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐, ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ, ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐ฐ๐๐ญ๐๐ก ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ฅ๐ค๐ฌ. ๐๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฉ, ๐ ๐จ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ง๐, ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ญ๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ!
๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ฉ. ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐. ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ, ๐ญ๐๐ค๐ ๐ ๐ง๐๐ฉ!
๐๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ฑ๐๐ซ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ. ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ, ๐ข ๐๐ฅ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ ๐จ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ซ ๐จ๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ง ๐ข๐ฆ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ, ๐ญ๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฉ๐ก๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ.
๐๐๐ซ๐จ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ซ ๐๐ซ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ. ๐๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ฒ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ฌ. ๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ข๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ค๐ ๐จ๐๐, ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ค๐๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐๐ฐ๐๐ฒ.
๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฎ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ค ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ. ๐๐ก๐๐ญ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐!๐ง๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐ญ ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง. ๐๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ค ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ ๐@๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ. ๐๐จ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ฒ!
๐๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐ฎ, ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ง ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐๐ก๐ข๐๐ก ๐ฆ๐๐๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐๐ฌ, ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ก ๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐จ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ข๐๐๐ฌ, ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ฌ, ๐ญ๐๐, ๐๐จ๐๐๐๐.
๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐ค โก
First of many days not eating. I am simply not allowed to eat. What a liberation.
World is getting easier. I give the command to somebody and he just commanded me not to eat the next 100 hours. And I will follow that command
Not a good morning. I feel that I have no emotional space. All around me demand their space, more decisive and more forceful. I only want to disappear. Which fits fine with my 3d-goals. At least.
Happy today. Making food for my family, but didn't eat anything. It was no fight, I simply was not tempted. After a binge Friday a relief
Everybody wants something from me. The world is fucking up. I want only run away. I can't. But I can decline this fucking world by declining eating. This really helps. It's not 3d. It's liberation.
Bad day today. I am stressed, there is an important exam in six days. And I was alone at home, the most dangerous situation. So I binged. After running says my calculator that I had an intake of 1000 cals. Still undercaloric, but I feel like a piece of shit
Ate yesterday. Kind of binging. But when I think back, things have changed. I ate much less. I was satisfied much earlier. Today I have 800g more, that will disappear again BC I eat one meal every second day. So no bad feelings. 56.7, BMI 21.08 today.
Dreams are bigger than live. I am dreaming to go fast down in weight, but this will not happen. Real life is step by step. But I go down 1kg a week, sometimes two. I will reach my gw within 8 -20 weeks then. And it is good. Because until then my st3rving will be a habit, not changeable, keeping me there forever.
Perfect "eating day" today where I nearly did not eat ๐
Hey there, 57 kgโdidn't see you coming! It's like I've shed some of those weighty worries and gained a sassy strut instead. Now, to conquer the world one calorie at a time, with humor as my accessory and hope as my favorite outfit piece!