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i know the government is out to get me cause they’re out here making up concepts like “true love” and “healthy relationships”. u can’t fool me


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*clearly in the wrong* gosh! u people don’t know anything!


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you think you know someone then it turns out they run a nsfw tumblr blog


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im really about that life and that life being an anxious freak


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nonsense? you mean my perfectly curated thoughts


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so much chaos in the world but right here. right now. there’s only joy (mindlessly scrolling online )


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chewing cable wires


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the pope probably up in heaven playing undertale


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just paid 11 dollars for eggs. if god is real and comes down. you will all pay for this.


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hahaha i bet you can’t spell gorjeous


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every time i have an idea i write it down on tumblr like its my note app. next post is about to be my grocery shopping list


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this is targeted @ me: girl shut up


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sorry i’m too busy talking into the void

*posting on tumblr*


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my humor peaked when i was like 13 and ill never get it back


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inherited the family curse of loving too much


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in order for world peace god chose to make me beautiful with a great rack but also with terrible and crippling anxiety to balance it all


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about to vajazzle myself, wish me luck!


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call me at 1-800- wtf-ishappeing


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im really funny once you get past my 7 awkward attempts at a joke


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*putting my presence in situations where it’s clearly not wanted*


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these fingers are not cutting it out for me

*cuts off my whole hand*


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