Aromantic - Blog Posts
uhhhh,gay ass!!???
Happy Aro Week!!! šš¤š©¶š¤
Have this meme I made bc I REFUSE to believe that this is just me skskā
hi. i made some images.
feel free to take them and use for whatever you may need them for. no credit required
People said that Tumblr isn't a great place to post original art that isn't fanart, but I'm doing it anyway because I haven't got the motivation to draw anything else
Happy pride month lads! š§”šš¤š
from an aroace potato :)
every so often, i think, and it might be so selfish of me, but i crave to be someone's first choice. i want to be the person that someone sees fun things to do and their first thought is to ask me to go with them. i want someone to be willing to inconvenience themselves a little bit sometimes for me as i would do for them. i want to be looked at in a list of people and to have someone pick me out of all of them. i want to be held at the same level as a romantic partner in terms of effort and closeness. i want someone to want me as much as i want them, even though it's not in a romantic sense. i want to be important to someone.
a dƦnce of roƫmƦnce
depictions of the ace experience never seem to include the nightmare-borne skeleton creature from hell so kudos to the dimension 20 team for their commitment to accurate rep
The sad thing with my allo friends is that they think that romantic love is the strongest love possible. And maybe it is for them. But I feel like they'll never understand how strong platonic love can be. They'll never know how much I like them. Because they're convinced that, because I'm aroace, I'll always like them less than their partner, when, in fact, I just like them differently.
I love this because I to am aromantic asexual.
Yuliy Jirov from Sirius the Jaeger is aromantic asexual!
"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff
i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.
the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.
tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!
But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".
And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!
I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.
"love is love" until it doesn't include sex
"love is love" until it lives in separate beds
"love is love" until it is queer platonic
"love is love" until it does not comply with compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity
love IS love, for aspecs, for sex repulsed folk and for platonic relationships
"love is love" apply to more than same-sex relationships in a world where romantic and sexual relationships are considered more valuable
Remember to advocate for Asexuals and Aromantics this pride. Because we are also here, and we are also queer
Most of my tags here are pretty self-explanatory, but for all my fellow apothis and aspecs who are simply not in the mood: any shipping related content on this blog will be pretty mild, but you can filter the tag #allo nonsense to not see it here.
Have a wonderful day! šš¤š¤š¤ā¤ļø/ šš¤š¤š¤ā¤ļø
This. They hate all of us, we're not any better to them.
There's also a bit of... I think unintentional support of other queerphobia when people say stuff about how asexuals aren't doing anything. As the post discussed, we are seen as a threat to a lot of people, but I think the intent when aspecs say this is more like "we're not hurting anybody/doing anything wrong". But the thing is... Neither are trans people or gay people or other queer identities. When people say stuff like that, it's almost agreeing like "I can see why you don't like them, but we're different".
So there are several issues. I do think a lot of it comes from people not really knowing aphobia exists or even within our community not understanding how strong it is in some groups.
tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!
But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".
And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!
I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.
made a meme because what do you mean iām questioning my sexuality again even tho iāve been secure in my identity for the past 10 years š
Thinking about how I'm both non-binary and aroace like I made only one choice in life and it was "no."
My experience with being oriented aroace is basically just not sexual or romantic attraction but a secret third thing but idk what the secret third thing is and tbh I don't care what it is, I just know that Women
actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.
"there is no platonic explanation for this" when characters hug, care for each other, support them, are worried when they are in danger, smile at each other etc
Some of yall just don't have any good friends and it really shows
I really like this, I once explained QPRs as looking at the rules for established relationship types and saying "No, we don't like those," and then building your own relationship, taking pieces you like, leaving what you don't, and even adding your own stuff if you want, to make a new thing that works for you.
i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.
the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.
hot take but āitās perfectly fine to portray aspec characters as having sex/dating bc aspec people still do those thingsā and āfandom often overwhelmingly portrays aspec characters as having sex/dating with little to no regard for their aspec identity, leaving little room for aspecs who donāt do those thingsā are two statements that can and should coexist
When I was twelve or thirteen and thought I was bisexual, I started reading Tomura Shigaraki x readers, but stopped because I realised I just wanted to hang out with him and be his friend instead of be his gf, and that these fics were twisting his character in my mind. That probably should have been a sign of my aromanticism and asexuality, but no, I wouldnāt figure it out for a while.
At school we had yearly letters that we would write to ourselves, and in one from when I was perhaps fourteen, I wrote something akin to āno crushes yet, but Iām hopefulā. Reading that when I graduated and got the letters back was fun, I enjoyed laughing at myself.
shoutout to nine-year-old me who was very much aroace but didnt know the difference between hyperfixating on a character and having a crush on them so for the next few years i told everyone that the only crush i ever had was on lord voldemort