Blue: *cocks gun* Go to bed Yellow. This is no longer a request, This is now a threat.
Purple: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Blue: >:O language
Red: Yeah watch your fucking language
Yellow: Okay, who taught Red the fuck word?!
Green: 'The fuck word'.
Second: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Green: Oh my god they censored it
Purple: Say fuck, Second.
Red: Do it, Second. Say fuck.
Yellow: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.
Yellow: Love makes people do stupid things.
Red: I love everything!
Yellow: That explains a lot.
Yellow: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help.
Red: I went to the park today.
Yellow: There you go! I hope you got something from that.
Red: *opening their coat* This duck.
Second: A SPIDEEER!!!!!!
Yellow: KILL IT! SMASH IT!
Green: BURN IT!
Second: STAB IT! WITH A KNIFE! GET ME THE SHOTGUN!
Red: Awww, it’s so cute! Look at it!
Red: Which way did Green go?
Yellow: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.
Red: You could really figure it out from that?
Yellow: No, you idiot, Green sent me a text.
Second: Why are you late?
Yellow: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.
Second: Overslept?
Yellow: Overslept.
Red: Yellow, I want a bedtime story!
Yellow: I’m busy, Red. I’ll tell you one tomorrow.
Red: If you don’t tell me a story, I won’t go to bed!
Yellow: Once upon a time, there was a person named Red, who always wanted things their way. One day, their friends got sick of it and locked them in the basement for the rest of their life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.
Red: I don’t like these stories with morals.
Blue: Yellow, you’re such a genius!
Yellow: Yes, I know.
Purple: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
Yellow, watching Green screaming, Red trying to set a sleeping Second on fire, and Blue choking on air: I don't know either.
Red: Why is Blue making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Yellow!
Yellow: It’s because I’m Blue’s favorite.
Red: I hate you.
Yellow: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Second: What did you just say-
Yellow: Foetons! *Laughs*
Second: Wh-what?
*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*
Blue, Purple, and Second: *spinning a little and talking*
Green, Red, and Yellow: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
Green: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.
Yellow: Actually Green, it’s salt.
Green: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.
Yellow: Uh Green, that would be salt.
Yellow: *takes salt packer from Green* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.
Yellow: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Red without them noticing?
Green: Hey, Red, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.
Red: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.
Yellow: ...
Red: Yellow's amazing at concentrating. Once they start reading, the only way they’ll notice you is if you take their book away. Not even if you hit them or shake them!
Blue: That was them ignoring you.
Yellow, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.
Yellow: Second, wake up!
Second, half asleep: Five more minutes...
Yellow: You've been in a coma for two years!
Second: ...
Second: Okay, two more minutes...
Yellow: I had to pick up Red early.
Blue: That’s alright. Have they been sick?
Yellow: No, not sick, they’re just very upset because they’ve had a hard day.
Blue: Wait, why did they have a hard day?
Yellow: They took their two pet snails to school with them today, and they had the snails in their book bag. They let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and someone visiting the class that day thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so they threw Red’s snails out the window.
Blue: Oh my god.
Yellow: I know you are laughing, Blue, but please act sad about it when we get home today.
Blue: I’ll try but that is hilarious.
Yellow: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.
Yellow: I’m trying not to let Red see me laugh.
Green, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?
Yellow: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.
Green:
Green: Water you doing?