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1 week ago

Purple: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?

King: Purple, it's four o'clock in the morning.

Purple: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?


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2 weeks ago

Green: I am decayed. My lungs are full of thorns and mildew. My bones are held together by vines. I am fragile. Be gentle with my corpse.

Yellow: Get out of bed, you're going to school whether you like it or not.

Green: I REFUSE.


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2 weeks ago

Yellow: You either get your work done or you'll end up at McDonald's.

Red: We're going to McDonald's if I don't do my work?

Yellow: NO-


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2 weeks ago

Red: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Red: And I started thinking.

Red: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Red: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?


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2 weeks ago

Second: Anyone d-

Yellow: Depressed?

Blue: Drained?

Red: Dumb?

Green: Disliked?

Second: -done with their work… what is wrong with you people…


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3 weeks ago

Yellow: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

Yellow: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.


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3 weeks ago

Green: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?


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1 month ago

Yellow: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.


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1 month ago

Second: All of your existences are confusing.

The Gang: How so?

Second: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.


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1 month ago

Green: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!


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1 month ago

Purple: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress


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1 month ago

Second: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Gang: Awwww-

Second: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Gang: Oh.


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1 month ago

Purple: Sorry if I'm bothering you...

Surgeon: How do you keep waking up and saying that?


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1 month ago

*out grocery shopping*

Red: *takes a free sample twice*

Red: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.


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1 month ago

Blue: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.


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1 month ago

Purple: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!


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1 month ago

Red: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!


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1 month ago

Blue: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.


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1 month ago

Purple: Gender? Ha, yeah. I totally have one of those, definitely. There's some sort of gender around here, gimmie a second.

Purple, throwing dirty laundry around: Shit. I know it was here... I saw it yesterday!

Purple, crawling around on the floor, looking under things: Ugh... Sorry, gimmie a sec... I swear, I had it just the other day...


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1 month ago

Green: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.


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1 month ago

Purple: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.


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1 month ago

Second: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.


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1 month ago

Navy, holding a new born Purple: He's beautiful...

The Doctor: We're gonna have to give him some shots.

Navy: Oh hell yeah, pour up. It's his fucking birthday.


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1 month ago

Yellow: Engineer? Yeah, I'm enginEERING MY FUCKIN' LIMIT WITH THESE THREE!


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1 month ago

Green: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."

Yellow: Opposite over hypotenuse.

Green: Dipshit.


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1 month ago

Green: Second is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.

Green: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.


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1 month ago

Yellow: Green, why are you still in here?

Green: I'm contemplating what life really means, you know? I'm wondering whether we really have a purpose.

Yellow: ...

Green: ...

Green: Plus, Red glued me to the chair.


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2 months ago

Red: What time is it?

Green: I dunno, pass me the clarinet

Red: *hands Green the clarinet*

Green: *starts playing obnoxiously*

Yellow: WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THE CLARINET AT 3AM?

Green: It's 3am


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