Batman - Blog Posts
DC groupchats as my favourite Homestuck quotes #2
Thad: Ever hear of Guy Fieri?
Bart: No? I don't think so.
Thad: How unfortunate for you.
Thad: He was an especially degenerate piece of filth.
Thad: He used his connections and guile to wriggle his way into fame, and other positions of power.
Thad: He somehow landed on the U.S. supreme court. Over the years, other Justices started mysteriously disappearing without means to replace them.
Thad: After helping rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, he weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Captain of Interstellar War.
Thad: I'm going to cut to the chase, cause really this doesn't need to be a full History lesson. Especially with your attention span.
Thad: He eventually came to be regarded as the third and final antichrist.
Thad: No human in history was responsible for as much pain and suffering.
Bart: Is that why REACH attacked our planet? Guy Fieri, High Captain of Interstellar War?
Thad: Yes.
Bart: ;-;
___________________________________________________________
-Kaldur joined the chat-
-Batman joined the chat-
Wally: Mom?
Dick: Mom?
Kaldur: Wait, If you're mom
Kaldur: and IM mom
Kaldur: Then who's flying this plane??
Wally: I change my mind, I want a new mom.
___________________________________________________________
Jay: Hello Tim
Tim: Hey Jay
Tim: How's the best brother in the world doing today?
Jay: Best brother in the world, hmm?
Tim: Of course, who else could I mean?
Jay: What is it you want from me?
Tim: You know what I want, Jay
Jay: Money? Affection? For me to write your essays?
Tim: its all I've ever wanted from you
Tim: *he leans in close to him and gently strokes his face*
Tim: *whispers* I want my fucking coffee back.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #36
Dick: You little shit.
Jason: They just like me better!
Dick: Right, and how much did you have to blackmail them to believe that you little gremlin.
Bruce: What's going on here?
Dick: Jason stole one of my best friends and Ex girlfriend!
Jason: I plead the fifth! Can't steal what you never had!
Dick: Why you-
Bruce: Dick, maybe consider that they do like Jason for his... personality.
Jason: Why you gotta say it like that?
Dick: This is ridiculous. *storms off all dramatically*
Bruce: Maybe for future reference, don't steal any of Dick's friends.
Jason: Fine, I won't steal any more of Dick's best friends. Yeesh.
[One week later]
Jason: *casually sitting on a seat enjoying hot cocoa*
Tim: *slams the door open* YOU BITCH!
Jason: *smirking* Hi, Timmy.
Tim: DoN'T Hi TiMmY mE, YoU tOoK BaRt FrOm Me hOw CoUlD yOU!
Bruce: Jason, this isn't what I meant when I said don't steal any more of Dick's friends.
Jason: You should have specified.
Bruce : What am I doing wrong?
Harley : do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Bruce : as a friend.
Harley : see a therapist
Crossover? Flashfam and Batfam
#Bruce meets his match
Bruce: *staring at Bart from across the interrogation table*
Bart: *Kicking his legs and staring back*
Bruce: So, Impulse-
Bart: No.
Bruce: No?
Bart: You were gonna question me. I say no.
Bruce: You didn't hear the question.
Bart: Okay, go ahead.
Bruce: So-
Bart: No.
Bruce: *disgruntled bat noises*
Bart: *staring with a blank expression*
~ two hours later ~
Bruce: *dangling Bart upside down from the ceiling*
Bart: And then I was all like, "No way, you can't do that. That's a no-no, even in my book", and then Tim was like "I-"
Bruce: Enough, please stop. Stop talking. Leave. I'm done.
Bart: *phases out of the ties* thanks. *walks out*
Diana, on the other side of the one sided glass: I've never seen him give up so quickly.
Hal: Kids' got spunk.
Clark: We should go before Bruce tries to vent on one of us.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #35
The Batboys Ranked for how rebellious they are.
Starting at number one: Timmy Drakeson.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Isn't Jason the most rebellious?" No. No he is not. Timmothy fucking Drake is a powerhouse of untapped chaos and a goldmind of comedic genius, just look at the iconic Truth or Dare pannel where he was dared to take off his mask. He did so and underneath his mask, was another mask. Secndly, he doesn't give a shrap about the "Protect ID" rule. Also, he was the one that diliberatly went out of his way to find out Batmans Identity by stalking him and taking lots of photos, sneaking out at night and throwing himself into fights even just to get information. Plus, he 100% discreetly shares Batmans weaknesses to the rest of the league because it's "unfair for him to have a strategic plan against them without them having some way to get through to him".
Number two: Terry McGinnis.
Need I say more? If there's anyone who dislikes supers more than Bats himself, it's this guy. But Duke is ok in his book.
Number Three: Dick Grayson.
He left the fam and even the mantle of Robin, which meaned so much to him, to find his own path and had diliberatly made it so that Bruce knew him leaving was all his fault. He even neglected his own "Brothers" somewhat because he didn't want to see that man up until Jason died.
Speaking of, Number four: Jason Todd.
To be Honest, not that rebellious. Sure, he's kinda edgy, but it's a good look for him. Really good. Do I simp for Todd? Hell yes, I do. The actions that lead to him going burserk honestly, not his fault. He was hyped up on the glorified pool water and felt betrayed from the very people who took him in. He understood that when one robin leaves, another steps up because Bruce has issues with the 'sad orphan eyes'. He just can't help himself. But the Laz made his views boggled so he went cray. A good kind of Cray. I don't blame him for being upset about the ordeal. I'd slap the shit outta Bruce.
Okay so hear me out... Five: Alfred.
We all love our main man, glue of the family butler. But on multiple occasions Alfie has stated he would violate the "no kill rule" to protect his charges and honestly, what a King. Pop off, Pennyworth. He loves Bruce, but he puts this grown man in time out and I don't blame him. the guy makes questionable moral decisions and that's coming from a diagnosed psychotic. We stan Alfie✨
Number Six: Damian.
We all know that this little boy got some mommy issues here and some daddy issues there, but honestly when it comes down to it, he's pretty obedient. He has the sass levels of a litterate XBox gamer and the backbone of a snake. you tell him to do something in that stern dad voice and he'll cuss you out on the way to do it. Honestly, best boy. I love him lots. And guys, stop making his character so serious. You need to check yourself on his analysis cause honEE this boy cracks jokes 24/7, likes to poke fun at people and on multiple occasions tried to make superboy, the actually serious fluff roll, swear.
Number SeVeN, Last but certainly not least: Duke Heckin' Thomas.
Our local cinnimon roll™. Not only is he badass, but he's cute and lovable too. Duke is one of those teens that don't really care if it's this way or that. He's kinda on the quiet side unless you engage in conversation with him directly and I mean, come on. Just read any comic with him in it and I guarentee you will fall in love. Just- yEs. Even though he's the only one in his family with superpowers, he stays humbled and is kinda like everyones voice of reason. Seriously, he's so underrated and I love him with all my heart.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #34
Batfam playing Among Us
Dick: Super Sus, he follows people and disappears at random, every time he's imposter he vent camps. He really likes the vents.
Jason: Kills three or more people every round but somehow no one sees him do it. Kill sprees are his favorite.
Tim: Suspicous of everything and everyone, even if he's the imposter. always has crazy assumptions that somehow are right. Only likes to do tasks if he's alone in a room. Has a kill spree rivalry with Jason. (plays with Kon, Bart and Cass most of the time tho)
Damian: Has somehow perfected winning the game by strategising his kills. Always does his evil laugh and is super pouty when Imposters target him first. Has the best behind the scene commentary, along with Babs.
Babs: Always cracking jokes and says "oop" a lot. Somehow is always the one to find the body. Lord have mercy when she's the imposter.
Steph: Very hesitant to kill when she's imposter. Unless she's mad at someone. Then she's ruthless. most likely to kill someone in front of other people on accident.
Cass: Never talks durring discussions. No one ever suspects her. She gets imposter 80% of the time. And she's scarily good at it. Her and Dami have a competition to kills in every game. Dami started it, she doesn't even try to play his game. She's just that good.
Bruce: No idea how the Hell to play. Forgets to mute himself when he's saying stuff like "Oh I'm imposter". Tasks? What tasks? He just follows whoever he thinks he can trust. Most of the time he picks the right person to tail cause they never kill him. Jason targets him first every time.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #32
(Idea from a good friend on instagram: Barbara :3)
Wayne Manor but Quarantine
Bruce: Realizes he'll be practically trapped in his house with all his crazy™ kids and he sighs internally, externally, eternally...
Selina: Goes on her "shopping sprees" because since everything is closed security is short-staffed. ;) but she's having a great time with it. She also makes this time to bond with all the kids cause she wants to be the best step-mom UwU
Dick: All his brothers bet on how long he'd last. He lasted a day. (Tim won the bet) He Becomes depressed after a week and has often been seen on the lounge couch in pajamas and a robe eating a tub of ice cream and watching mean girls. Constantly talking about wanting to go see Wally and being shot down. (It doesn't matter tho cause Wally comes to see him anyway)
Babs: Does not mind quarantine. Stays healthy and active. Get's REALLY into TikTok and Instagram. Starts like- 5 new hobbies: Yoga, makeup art, making TikTok memes (and forcing Dick to be in some of them) etc.
Jason: Doesn't care about the warnings. Leaves the house a lot. Goes to public places. Since everything is closed he chills on rooftops or sometimes even parks. Occasionally joined by Roy Harper. helps Alfred with a lot of meals cause we all know he's second best when it comes to cooking in the family.
Steph: Panic buys the entire stock of waffles and other snack items. Is really worried about the warnings at first but everyone comforted her so she'd calm down. (Jason fakes coughs every now and then around her for laughs) Most of the time chilling in her own room or in Tim's just snacking.
Tim: Is not effected by Quarantine. He was already a Hermit to begin with. Now he had an excuse to be inside all the time so he's doing great. Get's really into Animal Crossing on his switch and chills with Steph a lot if he's not staying up playing online with Bart and Kon. Steph already bought him the stock of coffee so he had no worries.
Dami: Takes Quarantine VERY seriously. His brothers tease him for caring but he responds with "I only care about my own health and the general public. We are heroes and need to set examples to protect our city." Or somthing along those lines. (he does actually care tho)
Duke: Tries not to let it get to him. He's maxin' chillaxin'. Spends his time pranking everyone else to get their spirits up. (we do not deserve this lovely boi) Starts a prank war and Nerf gun/water gun fight with everyone. Even Bruce joined.
Alfred: The actual GLUE to everyone not losing their minds. Enjoys teaching Babs cooking as a new hobby she picked up and loves chatting over making food with Jason. Get's to rest a lot more since at least one of the boys or Steph does spontanious chores just to do something and being all and all the best Butler/Grandfather ever. (as per usual)
Harper: HATES quarantine. She goes to the skate park a lot with a skateboard or rollar blades cause her hockey team is cancelled the entire season and she needs the release. Dyes her hair at least 5 times, all different colours.
Cass: Trains a lot. Reads a lot. Stays in the background of everything. Selina focuses on bonding with her mostly and they form a really lovely connection over the time spent together.
Batfam Jingle bells: Rewritten... Again.
Jingle Bells!
Batman yells!
Jason Todd is dead-
Dick is fired-
Tim is Tired
And Damian is mad.
OH!
swinging through Gotham-
looking for some crime
Gonna make some criminals
shit their pants tonight.
Scaring petty thefts.
defusing a bomb-
Joker has outdone himself
and now Timmy is gone-
OH!
Jingle claps
Batman snapped
That's a lot of kids-
Oh my god
please help this man
he might have an addiction-
OH!
Jingle hoes
There Grayson goes
wait- nevermind he's back
Tim's health at steak
he needs a break
so let him hit the sac
OH!
Jingle fun
Dami's done
but he loves them nonetheless
Jason shot
Batman "I think the fUCK NOT"
so he's the dissapointmenntttttt
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!
inaccurate Batfam quotes #31
Dick uses Wally as his personal transporter-- a lot. He hardly uses the Zeta anymore because he always has the speedster at hand. It isn't wierd to see the two together all the time but civilians started noticing how the Flash was in Bludhaven a lot. It was a bit odd, seeing as how he is stationed in Central City. What was even wierder was when He sped Nightwing to battle in a Shopping Cart. Nightwing ended up jousting the villain.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #30
The favourite thing the media loves about Bruce Wayne is he never takes vacations like all billionaires tend to do. He has all this money, power, and influence but he never spends it for himself. He always seems to be giving to charity and all his time to his life work-- Even though part of the reason is Gotham needs Batman, the public doesn't know that.
It get's brought up numerous times durring gala's amongst the patrions and there are multiple stories praising him over his hard work, not to mention how Wayne tech became more diverse in it's products over the years thanks to the help of his children's input of what the people wanted.
Dick helped him make clothing lines that all looked amazing, because the boy is slightly a fashon guru. Jason had plenty of things to say about clubs and casinos since he himself used to own one and knew of the revenue and good rep they gave. Tim talked about alternative technologies they could invest in, like fabricated organs or false limbs and bones since he himself had a missing spleen. Damian mostly ranted about self protection weapons so he made a formula of pepper spray and with the help of Jason a Wayne taser. Cassandra, though not much to say, casually slips comments about orphanages. Babs says a lot about phones, products and cosmetics.
Gotham may be a twisted place but they love all of the Batkids and Bruce especially.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #29
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟBatfam Twitter, Otherwise known as: Idiots with Internet PART 3!The amazing Women have joined the chat
Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious
Have to get my nails redone after I punch this guy for making a move on my sis. Brb
13.4k Likes 12.3k retweeted 20k Comments
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Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack
rolls up sleeves I got this
12.5k Likes 11.9k retweeted 12.8k Comments
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Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass
@ FlyingGraysonJr Hold my earrings
13.9k Likes 12.1k retweeted 13.2k Comments
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Dick GAYson 🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
Girl, you know I got u.
12.3k Likes 11k retweeted 13.1k Comments
Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious
God, being this awesome is exausting...
14.2k Likes 13.1k retweeted 13.5k Comments
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Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass
I'll hold the mantle while you take a break. Go do your nerd stuff
14.1k Likes 11.2k retweeted 12.9k Comments
Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack
Still don't understand Twitter but learning
14.4k Likes 11.2k retweeted 13.5k Comments
Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell
Why is the little demon brat so awful? What did I ever do to you?!
14.6k likes 12.3k retweeted 16.9k Comments
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Damian Wayne 🗸 @ TheBloodSon
Say it to my face, Brown.
12.9k Likes 10.2k retweeted 12.5k Comments
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Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell
I will when you reach eye-level, gremlin.
15.2k Likes 13.6k retweeted 15.3k Comments
Cass Sandsmark 🗸 @ StrongerThanYourMans
anotherunofficialBruceWayneadoption
16.9k likes 14.7k retweeted 11.2k Comments
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Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell
Welcome to the family @ StrongerThanYourMans
14.5k Likes 13.2k retweeted 12.7k Comments
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Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass
Looks like we snagged another one. @ zombierebellion owes me five bucks
14.2k Likes 12.4k retweeted 15.2k Comments
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Jay Son 🗸 @ zombierebellion
Damn it, Bruce! I bet on Billy next
15.7k Likes 13.4k retweeted 12.9k Comments
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Dick GAYson 🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
I had my money on Conner.
16.3k likes 12.2k retweeted 15.8k Comments
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Tim Drake 🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead
No way. It was gonna be Duke.
15.7k Likes 13.2k retweeted 13.9k Comments
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Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack
Duke already family?
16.2k Likes 14.5k retweeted 12.9k Comments
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Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious
@ sleepwhenimdead When was the last time you slept, Timmy?
15.2k Likes 10.9k retweeted 13.4k Comments
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Jay Son 🗸 @ zombierebellion
I'll get the sedatives...
16.3k likes 12.3k retweeted 14k comments
inaccurate Batfam quotes #28
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟBatfam Twitter, Otherwise known as: Idiots with Internet PART 2
Bruce Wayne🗸 @ BrucieWayneOfficial
@ Diamondsareacatsbestfriend Doesn't she look beautiful in her dress for tonights Gala? IMG.29ghv260na.JPG
20k Likes 12.7k retweeted 23.9k Commets
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Selina Kyle @ Diamondsareacatsbestfriend
@BrucieWayneOfficial Oh, you.
12.2k Likes 9.8k retweeted 8.7k Comments
Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
Hey, join me on insta live later to see if we can convince Dami to put on a panguin onsie! LOL So cute
24.3k Likes 20.7k retweeted 10.3k Comments
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Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon
@FlyingGraysonJr Grayson, what are you talking about. I will NOT be putting on that abomination.
23.1k Likes 12.3k retweeted 9.7k Comments
Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion
20k retweets and I shoot @ sleepwhenimdead with a tranq dart
32k Likes 28.7k retweeted 30.8k Comments
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Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion
@ sleepwhenimdead The people have spoken. OKAY TIMMY, TIME FOR BEDDY-BYE
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Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead
@ zombierebellion HOW COULD YOU ALL, I THOUGHT YOU CARED
34.9k Likes 24.3k retweeted 40.1k Comments
Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead
I woke from being tranqued and it's been 53 hours...
34.8k Likes 29.8k retweeted 30.2k Comments
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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
At least you slept.
32.2k Likes 12.3k retweeted 9.8 Comments
Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon
Despite being the most heinous article of clothing I have ever seen, the material is quite comfortable. But I'm never wearing it again.
35.3k Likes 30.1k retweeted 33.4k Comments
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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
@ TheBloodSon But you looked so cute as a panguin! IMG.92htmil83.JPG
37.4k Likes 37.4k retweeted 40.2k Comments
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Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion
@ FlyingGraysonJr @ TheBloodSon looks normal like that. Minus the sour face.
22.4k Likes 12.9k retweeted 19.2k Comments
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Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead
@ FlyingGraysonJr @ TheBloodSon @ zombierebellion he looks so precious even though he's going to kill us all..
20k Likes 18.2k retweeted 22.4k Comments
inaccurate Batfam quotes #27
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟBatfam Twitter, Otherwise known as: Idiots with Internet
Bruce Wayne🗸 @ BrucieWayneOfficial
Good morning, Gotham. What lovely clouds we have today.
11.2k likes 3.2k retweeted 7.5k Comments
Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
I don't think you understand, Baby shark is stuck in my head. Send. Help.
13.7k Likes 9.2k retweeted 10.2k Comments
Jay son🗸 @ zombierebellion
Y'all can talk shit but my shade is Gucci, so watch yourself
10.8k Likes 4.5k retweeted 9k Comments
Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead
I don't need a nap, I need a coffin.
12.7k Likes 4.1k retweeted 7.8k Comments
Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon
I'm never letting @ FlyingGraysonJr name one of my pets again...
15.9k Likes 5.2k retweeted 10.7k Comments
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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
What's wrong with Dingleshnorf?
18.4k Likes 6.9k retweeted 11.9k Comments
Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead
I would say "I need a life" but the reason I'm depressed Is cause I have one
12.7k Likes 4.5k retweeted 9.3k Comments
Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion
Everyone stop what you're doing right fucking now and Google Scotland's national animal
22.9k Likes 8.2k retweeted 14.2k Comments
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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
WHAT
9k Likes 3.4k retweeted 5.1k Comments
Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
If it's called "submissive", than shouldn't Dominant be called "missive"?
11.3k Likes 6.8k retweeted 17k Comments
Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon
Selfless acts are only recognised if you want them to be recognised, so does that make it selfless? Good deeds are so often overlooked. what makes a wrong or right? What makes mutual morality? Judge only by personal opinion. But what right is there to judge? Where’s the humanity
15.9k Likes 9.5k retweeted 17.4k Comments
Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
@ itsallaboutspeed Thanks for the "Happy Fathers day to my favorite Dilf" card, Walls.
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Wally West @ itsallaboutspeed
@ FlyingGraysonJr Wouldn't have it any other way. 😘
Bruce Wayne🗸 @ BrucieWayneOfficial
Hey everyone, Bruce Wayne here asking you to stay home to help stop the spread of Corona Virus. Link:Youtube.watch/BruceWayne/Coronatalk
inaccurate Batfam quotes #26
Jason Todd 100% listens to "Look what you made me do" by Taylor Swift
When it says "The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Why? Cause she's dead." He always replaces it with his name.
He sings it jumping from roof to roof while everyone's radio silent and his code name is Taylor.
If anyone asks him why, he says "Cause it's a mood"
inaccurate Batfam quotes #24
Headcannon that when Jason was still Robin and in teenage rebellion phases, Bruce bought him a studio with blank walls like canvases and let him do whatever. He'd buy Jason Spraypaints and supplies for his birthdays or just whenever he needed them. After Jason came back from the dead, the studio became his "HQ". Though he didn't like Batman, he had to admit that he did one good thing in his childhood.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #22
The Batboys have a traditional game that helps 'train' them to always stay on alert, even when they don't expect it-- even at inoportune times... That's at least what they told Bruce so he'd let them play it.
Jason, jumping on the couch: The floor is Lava!
Dick: Jumps on the Chandelier
Tim: Climbs a bookshelf
Damian: Mounts Batcow™
Bruce: Sighs heavily, pulling his legs onto the chair he was already on
-absolute silence-
Dick, already on his aerial ropes: The floor is Lava!
Jason: casually climbs kitchen counter and continues to eat chips while reading
Damian: Climbs on his bed but decides that's not good enough and climbs on top of the canopy
Tim: Casually stands on the bathroom sink, flipping through research like nothing happened
Bruce: Grunts and simply sits in his office chair
Tim, looking around to see everyone lounging in the cave after a particularly long mission: The floor is Lava.
Damian: Jumping onto Bruce's back "Sacrifices must be made father."
Dick: Cartwheeling onto the Batmobile
Jason: Lay's on the ground completely monotone I'm suffering.
Tim: Shrugs and Joins him
The time the team found out Batman has a heart while simultaneously finding out Robin’s Identity...
There was an explosion during the mission. Unexpected, three down. But surprisingly, those three hadn’t suffered the worst of it. Sure, Atrimus had a sprained ankle and slight concussion, Wally suffered a few broken ribs and injured arm while Kaldur endured a broken nose and deep gash on his chest, they weren’t the one’s everyone was worried about. After they all split up, Wally and Dick had found the bomb with only a few seconds to spare. Wally used his body to cover Dick as he ran, ran as fast as he could to get him away but the force of it blew them out the window. Dick’s eyes widened as They fell, Wally’s arms still protectively tucking him into his chest while moving them so that he’d cushion the fall with his own body. The ebony seemed to have been in a trance after they landed on the grass below, fire raging and the team staggering out, Artimus being carried on conner’s back While m’gann helped Kaldur as he limped. Dick remained unresponsive, even as a very alive Wally had tried snapping him back. Then he went to shake him but this gut wrenching scream escaped the ebonys lips as he gripped his hair in anguish and doubled over with sobs. Everyone watched in surprise and horror as the youngest cried and screamed words in a language they didn’t understand.
That was then. They were all in the cave now, silently sitting in the living room without even trying to speak of what happened. No one even knew how to explain it. M’gann may have been able to read his emotion but they all felt it like it was their own as his screams continued to ring in their ears. His cries echoed through the halls as he was escorted to his room with Black Canary and refused to leave since. No one seemed to move.
“Recognized A01” the computer announced and they barely raised their heads to acknowledge the mentors presence.
“Wallace. Come with me.” He said in a rush as he could distantly hear his proteges cries. The ginger nodded absently but looked more like a husk as he followed. This snapped Kaldur out of his trained thoughts as he stood abruptly.
“I— would like to come, too!” He said, almost pleadingly. “I want to know what happened to my friend.
“No.” Batman said, still walking off, a hand on Wally’s back as he led them on faster.
“No?” The Atlantean scoffed.
“Well I don’t care what he says.” Artimus stood with a glare, seemingly pointed to nothing in particular. “I’m going to check on him.”
“Me too.” M’gann spoke from Conner’s chest. The feelings Robin was feeling leaked to her. The suffering of love and loss hit her like a roller coaster she wasn’t strapped into, the turns just daring her to fall out. Conner stood with her, still holding her as she didn’t seem metally stable to walk on her own. They all made the silent decision to go to see him. The closer they came to the bedrooms, the louder the screaming became. The wretch in their hearts slowed them until it came to a halt in front of a cracked open door with the sound of pure nightmarish shrieks. They looked amongst themselves before creaking the door open.
Robin was held tightly to Batman’s chest and sat in his lap on the bed as the man shushed him and pet his hair soothingly. Wally was sitting beside them, tears of his own running down his face.
“Tati, nu se vor opri. Vocile nu se vor opri!” (Daddy, they won't stop. The voices won't stop!) Robin sobbed into the man's chest, holding grips of his costume for his sanity.
“Richard, I need you to look at me.” The bat whispered to him quietly. Blue eyes looked up and the man wiped his tears with his thumb. “Wally is right here, by your side. Alive.” To prove it so, Wally grabbed one of the younger hands, the grip on Batman’s emblem coming undone to hold it tightly. “No one died tonight because you were able to tell the team on time.” Batman kissed the side of Dick’s head, rocking them slowly.
“Bruce… Mama and Papa… they…” Dick sniffled, silent tears trekking down his face, covering the dried paths.
“They’re gone.” Bruce said quickly. “They’ve been gone for years. You need to remember you still have a family.” He added quietly. “Barbra. Alfred. Me.”
“And you have me.” Wally’s voice broke as he joined with a small kiss to the boys knuckles that were white from his grip.
“They died because of me—” Dick sniffled, voice hitching in his throat.
“No no. They died so that you could live. I’m sure they’d be happy to die if it meant you stayed living in their memory.” Bruce corrected. Dick buried his face back into Bruce’s chest, Wally being pulled into the embrace as well. The others that stood at the door, unknown of what to do, left. The words spoken softly between the three all fresh in their memory, replaying like broken records. They all had trouble sleeping that night, quite possibly even more than Dick did. Though he had the comfort of Wally carefully spooning him and whispering sweet nothings while he drifted into restless oblivion. Needless to say, the team never saw Robin as a frail child again.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #18
Do you think since Dick was so young when he started out as Robin that he had, like... snacks in his utility belt. He’s on a mission with Bats one day and he’s eating gummy bears he pulled from his pouch. Cause I do.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #17
Can we all agree it’s canon that Bruce and Jason have this weird competition of T-shirts to talk shit about the other? Like... Bruce walking around one day and the paparazzi take a picture of him in a “proud father of a great kid who’s sometimes an asshole” shirt. Jason sees it and retaliates by wearing a “Wonder where I learned to swear” shirt to an informal party and they just kept going.
The horror on J'onn's face is incredible.
I LOVE CAPTAIN MARVEL SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I finally found a way to draw him in a way I like so I can now shit post with Billy! He's so silly! If anyone has any suggestions for little memes with the Captain, then please send them my way, I'd love to have more to draw.
Yes, he is a bit too young to be a Crime Boss, that isn't going to stop him.
HEEHEEHEE….
Part 2 👇
Batman; Gotham by Gaslight
Within the annals of cultural, pop cultural, and historical crime, there are few whose macabre methods could reach the bloody depths that 'yours truly,' Jack the Ripper, managed to plumb.
Five brutal deaths were all it took for that deadly name to resound for Five centuries. The echo of the deed has so scarred the psyche of man that Man collectively found 'champions' of their own to face the blood-soaked beast on the battlefield of 'what if' in an attempt, perhaps, to find a semblance of cold closure on one of the most famous cold cases in history.
A murderer must be hunted by a detective, and there is no more excellent detective at DC's disposal than Batman to solve the mystery of Jack the Ripper. It is a contest between legendary figures, a Dark Knight on a quest to capture a monster, two ghosts playing a grisly game of hide-and-seek through the foggy alleys of a Victorian-era Gotham lit not by neon ...but by Gaslight.
Ironically, even though Batman is DC's greatest detective, barely any detective work is done in both the movie and the original comic it is adapted from. Any investigative work done by Batman in both mediums to uncover the identity of Jack is brushed over, and the reveal of the killer's identity had nothing to do with anything Batman had done throughout the narrative.
Ultimately, Batman is almost railroaded into solving the mystery, and the climax is somewhat underwhelming and blunts the effect of the twist reveal of Jack the Ripper's true identity.
YES. Commissioner James Gordon IS Jack the Ripper. This risky reimagining elevated this adaptation to a height that its original comic did not achieve. The twist shocked the system for any DC fan familiar with Batman's relationship with Gordon. It is also expertly hinted at throughout the film for any sharp-eyed viewer interested in a whodunit, as the narrative presented many possible suspects, but Gordon was the only one who would have fit all the facts of the mystery. The twist was further muddied by the inspired decision to design Jack the Ripper to be as angular as possible, while Gordon had a softer, more rounded silhouette.
This culminates in a climactic showdown atop a burning Ferris wheel, which was ironically begun by a knocked-over gas lamp. At the end of a brutally animated brawl, Gordon allows himself to be consumed by the fire of the burning wheel. He is a good man driven into hellfire by his hellish desires. Was he the last evil of a bygone age sacrificed for a better future? Or was he just the latest in a never-ending cycle of self-destruction, doomed to go around in a wheel until the wheel eats itself alive?
Whatever the case, Gotham by Gaslight turned a throwaway 'what if' comic story into a film that embodies everything that makes a Batman story great. The film shows that, even if lit by gas, Gotham is still a city that needs its Dark Knight, regardless of what the city deserves.
Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.
Title: The Fawn Instinct.
Pairing: Yandere!BatFam x Reader (DC).
Word Count: 5.0k.
TW: Implied Non/Con, Implied Dub/Con, Kidnapping, Prolonged Captivity, Social Isolation, Stalking, Obsessive Behavior, and No Actual Incest, But Boy If Those Freaks Aren't Trying. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.
If it’d only been Bruce, you might’ve been able to live with it.
You didn’t love him, but you could imagine a world where you tried to. Most of it was circumstance; as upset as you were about the whole kidnapping thing, it wasn’t exactly a Herculean feat to endear yourself to the idea of being a handsome vigilante millionaire’s stay-at-home captive-spouse. You had no room in your heart for the stoic, reclusive, untouchable Bruce Wayne, but you could remember the adoration you’d once held for your masked hometown hero, the pride that’d once given you the force of will to all-but carry a half-conscious man in a torn cowl and a familiar suit into your apartment and lie to the cops when they came knocking. If the conditions had been different, if he’d spent a little more time as something more intimate than a stranger and a little less damning than a captor, then maybe, you could convince yourself to love him. Or, convince yourself to try, at least.
But, the conditions weren’t different, and you’d never quite had the time you would’ve needed to align Bruce Wayne with his more heroic alter ego. It’d been doomed from the start – Icarus jumping from his tower, already knowing his wings were destined to fall apart.
That aside, though, there was the more glaring issue: all his fucking kids.
Calling them kids might’ve been too generous, actually. Only Damian and Duke were younger than eighteen, and as far as you were concerned, they were your saving graces – Duke for meeting the bare minimum requirements for human decency and Damian for adamantly denying you were anything but an unwanted burden on his father. The rest were more-or-less adults, as little as you wanted to acknowledge the nonexistent age-gap between you and your gaggle of stepchildren. They were grown. They should’ve known better.
Tim, for example. He had to be… what? Nineteen? It wasn’t the pinnacle of maturity, sure, but he should’ve known you’d be able to hear your own sheets rustling through the bedroom door, should’ve assumed that you’d know he’d know Bruce would be out on patrol until sunrise. He should’ve known to wait until you were in another wing of the sprawling Wayne estate, somewhere far away from the master bedroom, or better yet, skipped rummaging through your things entirely. You knew better than to dream, though.
The door was still shut, but what was happening behind it and who was responsible were both foregone conclusions. It was Tim, because of course it was Tim, and he going through your meager possessions, because what else would he wait until Bruce was gone to do? Cringing, you rested your shoulder against the steady wood and knocked gingerly. “…Drake? Are you in there?”
Immediately, the rustling stopped. You went on. “I think Bruce is out, if you need him. Is there something you’re trying to find?”
It was a good out. An easy out. Thankfully, he was smart enough to take the bait. A few seconds later, the door cracked, a disheveled Tim emerging with a dark blush spread over his pale cheeks and his hands shoved conspicuously deep into the pockets of his hoodie. It was a struggle not to roll your eyes. He couldn’t have been more obvious if he’d come out with his dick still in his hand.
Your cheeks ached as you put on your dozenth unstrained, unworried, everything’s-fine-because-why-wouldn’t-it-be smile of the day and moved aside to let him out. “I’ll let him know you were looking for him when he gets home,” you assured, like you couldn’t see the way his bright eyes were fixed to the carpeting. “I’m sorry I can’t be more help. You all are just so heroic – it’s still a little hard to believe I’m a part of this at all.”
“You’re perfect,” he muttered, and you pretended not to hear him, cocking your head to the side. When he corrected himself, his voice was a bit louder, a bit clearer. “Don’t worry, I… I found what I was looking for. You don’t have to bother Bruce.”
“Oh, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. He’s so proud of you and your siblings, after all – it’s practically all he talks about.” A lie, but a fair one to tell. There was no reason Tim should have to know Bruce spent the majority of your time alone with his teeth buried somewhere in your neck, muttering paranoid fantasies about how many different ways you could be killed, mutilated, or otherwise indisposed by the members of his rouges gallery. “Honestly, sometimes, it’s hard not to feel like I’ve been here for years, rather than just a couple of months.”
You only realized your mistake when those bright eyes shot to you, suddenly wide and blown out with desperation. A hand darted towards you, and you stumbled out of the way, but not quickly enough to avoid Tim’s vice-grip on your forearm, to spare yourself the feeling of something cold and wet sinking into your sleeve. “You’re leaving?” The words seemed to slur together, spilling out too quickly to be restrained or refined. “You can’t leave. Bruce won’t be able to handle it, and Steph, she’ll—I mean, security-wise, we won’t be able to make sure you’re—”
Internally, you were keeping up a steady mantra of ‘Thisissogrossthisissogrossthisissogross.’
Externally, by some miracle, your smile never wavered, only growing sweeter as you cut him off with a chirping laugh. “I’m not going anywhere,” you promised, and then, after a slight lapse, “Would you mind letting go of me? It’s—uh, it’s kind of starting to hurt.”
As if on a switch, he let go of you entirely, pulling away as abruptly as he lashed out. There was a mumbled ‘I’m sorry’, and he made a swift retreat, disappearing around the next corner before you could so much as think about bringing up Bruce, again. You watched him go, only letting your expression fall once you were sure he was out of sight.
Without further caution, you slipped into your bedroom, glazing over the mess of pulled-out drawers, overturned clothes and scattered dirty laundry in favor of falling into bed, rolling onto your chest, and screaming into your pillow as loudly and for as long as your lungs would allow.
~
You tried your best never to be alone. It was a little draining, to be honest – having to keep a running chart in the back of your mind of who you could trust and who you couldn’t, constantly trying to guess whether it’d be safer to be alone with someone or if you were better off taking your chances on your own – but you’d learned your lesson the first time you’d fallen asleep in the Wayne’s at-home movie theater and woken up to Cassandra spread over you like a human weighted blanket, staring unblinkingly at your face and playing half-consciously with your hair. You tried not to leave yourself unguarded, after that.
Alfred was your first choice, Barbra your second, with Bruce as a distant third. Sometimes, you could get away with loitering near Damian (something you hated nearly as much as he did – you could only stand to be addressed as his father’s “jezebel lover” so many times), but Bruce was at one of Damian’s school events, leaving them both conveniently unavailable, and Alfred would be locked inside of his underground shooting range for another hour and a half, an activity you knew better than to interrupt. Meaning, you were on your own.
Meaning, you’d picked a very bad time to need something to drink.
The kitchen was deathly quiet, but you still made an effort to keep your head on a swivel as you made your way carefully to a corner cabinet, like stepping on the wrong tile would trigger a pit trap, or a flurry of arrows, or one of another million terrible things you hadn’t thought were possible before Bruce dedicated himself so entirely to proving you wrong. Mentally, you reviewed your haphazardly assembled schedule as you fumbled with the wood paneling and reached for a mug from the highest shelf. Tim was definitely out, touring local colleges on Bruce’s behest, Step was supposed to be in class, and Dick—
Your fingertips made contact with cool ceramic half a second before another, larger palm wrapped around yours, a broad chest pressing into your back as your mug was stolen out of your hand. You didn’t have to look to know who it was.
And Dick was on bed rest with three broken ribs. Right. Of course.
You really shouldn’t have bothered leaving your room at all. Suddenly, dehydration didn’t sound like such a bad way to go.
“Let me get that, baby bird.” You cringed at the petname, but nodded, letting Dick confiscate your mug and with it, your ability to make a swift exit from a conversation you’d rather not have. “Green tea, right? I know it’s your favorite.”
“On the mark as always, Dick.” There was just enough enthusiasm in your voice to overshadow the despair. You waited until you heard the muted click of an electric kettle before turning around and settling against the counter. “I wish you wouldn’t dote on me, though. I already feel useless enough as it is.”
“Don’t sweat it, I’ve been going stir-crazy all week.” He flashed you a quick smile – tooth and beaming – before pulling open the silverware drawer and rummaging through it, like Alfred would keep his teabags with his cutlery. He was topless, wearing the same pair of black sweatpants he must’ve slept in. He didn’t plan to go out, clearly, and it wasn’t like you had much of an alternative. “This is just the basics, too. For a while there, I had your breakfast, lunch, and midnight snack preferences memorized.”
You forced yourself to smile, albeit, not as brightly as him. “…did you, now?”
“Mhm. B had us running in-person surveillance before he finally bit the bullet and brought you home, and—” He cut himself off with a sudden laugh, shaking his head. “And, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part. Oops.”
Mercifully, the kettle whistled before you could start to consider the implications, and you reached behind you, fishing two bags out of a teacup-shaped jar. It was easy enough to edge him out of the way, but not having to worry about pretending he’d ever made himself a cup of tea meant he could devote more of his energy to talking, so you still managed to lose, in the end. “He’s stingier with the surveillance footage, now. I’ve never seen him so jealous.”
“He can definitely be a little overprotective.”
You tried to keep your tone even, polite, but Dick was like his siblings – quick to action and slow to take a hint. A hand curled around the counter next to you, and you dumped an extra spoonful of sugar into the darkening water. “It’s just us in the manor, right?”
Another spoonful, just to be safe. “I think Alfred is—”
“Out for the day. Wayne Enterprise emergency – I let him know as soon as he finished down in the range.” In your peripheral, you watched his other hand come to rest on your opposite side, caging you in. “I wouldn’t mind the company, if you were starting to get lonely.”
Another spoonful. It’d be too sweet to drink, but anything not to have to look at him. “I’m afraid wouldn’t be a lot of fun, Grayson. Honestly, I was just planning on getting a little sle—”
“That’s perfect,” he cut in, too eager to wait his turn. “I’m a great cuddler.”
You curled your hand around your mug, hoping the warmth would be enough to ground you. Instead, it only burnt your palm, and for a second, you could imagine a world where your teeth weren’t buried in the plush of your cheek, where you didn’t have to remind yourself that turning around and splashing boiling-hot water on an all-but superhero’s face wasn’t a good idea. For a second, you genuinely considered it.
And then, a sound not totally dissimilar to thunder filled the kitchen; loud enough to leave your ears ringing and your adrenaline spiked. You flinched into yourself, but it only took a moment for fear to shift to relief as you noticed the bullet lodged into the wood less than an inch from your head. Your expression lit up just as Dick’s fell.
Without waiting for him to let you go, you slipped away – sprinting across the kitchen and throwing yourself into Jason’s – brave, bold, beautiful Jason – chest. He caught you one hand and finished re-holstering his handgun with the other, laughing as you hugged him as tightly as you could manage. Dick huffed, playful offense failing to mask real agitation, and you felt Jason brace against you. “Jerk off and shut the fuck up, Oedipus.”
Dick’s smile turned uneasy. “It’s good to see you too, man.”
“I didn’t come here for you,” he snapped, as short-tempered with his siblings as you wished you could be. He looked down, holding you that much tighter. “How’s my best girl holding up?”
“I’m just fine, Jason. I do think we have to have a talk about how you treat your brother, though.” You glanced over your shoulder to Dick. “A little privacy? You really ought to be staying off your feet, too.”
Reluctantly, Dick slinked out of the kitchen, hesitant to go but eager to nurse his wounds. You only went on once you were sure he was gone.
“It’s been awful. I found another hidden camera in my bedroom, and I think Tim’s tapping my—”
“I’ll do a sweep.”
He let you go, but you caught his arm. “Please, I know it’s important, but—” You cut yourself off, swallowing. It was irrational – the way you let your guard down so quickly around Jason. The mask never slipped around anyone else, whether you were afraid of them or they were one of your rare, precious exceptions. Jason existed outside of the Wayne family, though, outside of Bruce’s corrupting influence. He wasn’t going to hurt you. More importantly, he wasn’t going to let anyone else hurt you, either.
“But I really don’t want to think about that, right now,” you finished. “Just… just for a little while, alright? I don’t want to constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells, at least not while you’re here.”
Jason stood strong for all of three seconds. With the fourth, he sighed, buckled, and shook his head, his exasperation brimming with affection. “How long until Bruce gets home?”
“Six more hours. He’s not due to check-in for another three.”
“I’ve got my bike out front. How do you think he’d feel about a joy ride?”
And just like that, you lit up. “It’d give him a heart attack.”
Jason pulled you close, kissing the top of your head.
“Perfect.”
~
Unfortunately, Jason’s visits were few and far between. You had to find ways of fending for yourself, in the downtime.
“I miss the city.”
Bruce glanced over his shoulder, gaze flickering over you before returning to the buttons of his dress-shirt. You sunk that much deeper into the mess of sheets and pillows, taking some small amount of solace in the way the cool silk felt against your warm skin.
(Sex wasn’t something Bruce came to you for often, but when he did, you gave it to him willingly, albeit with no more enthusiasm than was absolutely necessary. You rarely enjoyed it and always regretted everything you did or said during the act, but it was better than the alternative. Part of you trusted him, trusted Batman, enough to believe that he’d take your refusal for what it was, that you wouldn’t have to say anything more than ‘no’. The remaining overwhelming majority was able to look around you, to remember the way he’d held you down as he forced a needle stocked with medical-grade sedatives into your throat, and recognize that your opinion probably didn’t mean very much to him. Still, you couldn’t let things get that bad. Even if you had to surrender every other facet of your being, you couldn’t let things get that bad.)
“You hated the city. You said your landlord was a tyrant and that even the criminals were living paycheck-to-paycheck.” And then, after a second of thought, “And that there were more rats in Gotham than people.”
“Well, he was, they are, and you know I love animals.” You pushed yourself up, keeping a sheet bunched against your chest as you slumped against the headboard. “I was tired and overworked – you could see that. But, things would be different if I was staying with, say, my wealthy trillionaire boyfriend in one of the penthouse apartments that I know he has because his youngest son got in trouble for bragging about them in school last week?”
Bringing up his kids was a dirty tactic – the fastest way to get Bruce’s undivided attention. This time, when his eyes shifted in your direction, they stayed there, and he made his way back to your side of the bed. He collapsed next to you and, with no resistance on your end, pulled you into his lap. He didn’t seem to care whether or not his immaculately tailored, freshly pressed suit was creased in the process, but you did your best not to squirm. “You want to leave the manor?”
The first half of a frown tugged at the corner of your lips. “That’s not what I—”
“Elevated pulse, avoidant eye-contact,” he muttered. “Something’s bothering you.”
It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t wrong, either, but still. You would’ve preferred to be asked.
“…it’s your family,” you admitted, feigning guilt. “They’re all—” Horny, depressed, creepy little orphans. “—great kids, but it’s just been so much so quickly, and I think it… I think it might’ve been too much too quickly. For them and for me.”
“They adore you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Dick was close to moving back in when I decided it was too dangerous to leave you to your own devices.”
You melted into his chest, sighing. Reflexively, he curled around you – a good thing, if a bit claustrophobic. Bruce liked feeling like a shield between you and harm, between you and the world he couldn’t control. Hopefully, eventually, he’d realize he had more to shield you from than greedy landlords and villains who always seemed to be just out of sight. “It’s not that easy. It’s just been such a rocky adjustment period, and…” You curled your hand around his wrist and squeezed, hoping the force would be enough to communicate what you couldn’t put a word to. “I’m really afraid something bad might happen, Bruce.”
For a moment, he seemed to consider it. There was a kiss to your shoulder, solemn and lingering, then another to your cheek, more fleeting. “I’ll talk to them. They’ll give you space, if they’re told to.”
If he told them to. You doubted you held much authority, here. “And the apartment in the city? On the highest floor, tall enough to see from Gotham to New York?”
Bruce smiled, and your heart soared.
Then, he started talking, and it crashed back down, dying upon impact. “Once I know it’s safe for you, sweetheart.”
There was another kiss, this one to the nape of your neck, then another, lower down on your spine. A calloused hand slipped underneath the sheet still hugged against your chest, and you allowed it to.
Honestly, it would’ve been kinder if he’d cut you into pieces and fed you to the wolves himself.
~
You made a run for it as soon as the arguing started.
Arguing, not yelling – the distinction was minor, but significant. Yelling would’ve meant an injury, or a mission gone wrong, or something else that signaled a sudden complication that couldn’t be smoothed over with sugar-sweet sentimentality or orders issues with an ice-cold strictness. Yelling would’ve meant Bruce didn’t mind letting you overhear, which usually meant you didn’t need to be involved. Arguing, all hushed whispers and hissed explanations and vague warnings, was different. Arguing meant, more often than not, that they were arguing about you.
It was Tim’s fault, as far as you could tell. Barbara had been the one to find the conspicuously encrypted file on one of Dick’s civilian devices, the one to mention it to Stephanie as a point of concern who went to Tim within the hour, but it was still his fault. He’d gotten Bruce involved, let his need for approval tip the tenuously balanced scales that kept his family whole and you safe. He’d talked them all into waiting until Dick was close enough to confront in-person, stopping by for his weekly equipment pick-up and check-in. He was the reason you’d gotten close enough to hear something about ‘pictures’ and ‘inappropriate use of reconnaissance material’ before fleeing to the mansion’s foyer – the only part of the house you could be sure wasn’t occupied. If you were lucky, you’d only be there for half an hour or so, enough time for them to compromise on some non-solution and return to your carefully maintained status quo. If you weren’t, you’d spend the early hours of the morning—
Something small but forceful hit the nearest window, shortly followed by another projectile, then another. The glass was too thick and the world outside too dark to make anything out, but you didn’t need to see anything to know who’d come to your rescue.
Jason.
You rushed to the door, then hesitated. Jason would only get a slap on the wrist for luring you out of the estate, and Bruce could never bring himself to be that strict with you, but now might’ve been a bad time. Tensions were already running high. Your little disappearing act wouldn’t—
A sudden rush of footsteps clattering through the ceiling from the floor above you, hushed voices raised just to the point of audibility. None of it was entirely coherent, but Dick’s came the closest. You managed to make out a half-choked “If you’d just let me—” before someone cut him off.
With your better judgement reduced to buzzing static, you pried open the closer of a pair of huge, mahogany doors and slipped out of the estate entirely.
Of course, Jason was waiting outside, a small stock of pebbles still in his left hand and, of course, you threw yourself at him, letting him catch and spin you twice before setting you back onto your feet with an airy laugh. A pitch-black sports car was waiting at the end of the driveway, the engine purring loudly enough to drown the rest of the world out. “Rough night?”
“You have no fucking idea,” you muttered, breathless. “I don’t care where we go, just get me out of here.”
There was a reason Jason was your favorite. There was no argument, no prying, just his arm around your waist as he herded you into the passenger seat. Fifteen minutes and a little over fifty miles later, the mansion was little more than a dull glow on the horizon, and you could pretend you’d stopped thinking about Bruce entirely.
There was no effort to make conversation, as bad as you felt about pulling Jason into your prolonged tryst with self-pity. Instead, you sunk into the leather of his seat and fixed your gaze on the passing landscape, clinging to any detail you were able to latch onto as it flew by. It was possible, between the subways and boarded-over windows and perpetually overcast skies, to go days without seeing the sun in Gotham. Still, your life had felt brighter there than it ever did in Bruce’s estate.
Jason turned down a road you didn’t recognize, and you managed to find your voice. “Are we going into the city?”
“Even better.” He flashed you a smile, the engine purring as he accelerated. “You’ll like it, I promise. Just sit tight.”
As if you had much of a choice.
Road gave way to forest, forest to empty plains, and empty plains to the dilapidated remains of what you could only label as a long-abandoned amusement park – like Disney World if there’d been some terrible, possibly nuclear accident followed by twenty or so years of absolute neglect. Jason’s car glided past the rusted remains of an iron gate, past the corpses of rides buckled under their own weight, and came to a stop in front of a paint-stripped merry-go-round almost entirely sheeted be vines and weeds and overgrowth. You let out a low whistle as he threw the gear shift into park and, for the first time in any vehicle you’d ever shared with him, pulled his keys out of the ignition. He’d always left the engine running while visiting the mansion, but then again, you’d always been pretty eager to make a hasty escape, too.
“I love it, Jason. I’ve always wanted to get tetanus from a broken down carnival.”
“A fair, actually,” he corrected, slipping his keys into his jacket pocket. Like he expected you to try and steal them while his back was turned, or something. “My parents used to take me here, before I met B. There weren’t a lot of Ferris wheels after that.”
There was a short lapse, the sound of lips moving against teeth. You made the mistake of humming, of glancing over to him, of leaving yourself open for another question, and Jason, as nice as he was, was more than happy to take advantage of you. “So, when did you and B start…”
He trailed off, drumming his fingers against the wheel. You filled in the rest with a breathy chuckle. “When did I start sleeping with your dad?”
He jabbed an elbow into your side. “First of all, you can admit you’re fucking him or call him my dad, but you’ve gotta pick one.” You opened your mouth, already ready to spit out some dumb joke about what Bruce would’ve preferred to be called, but Jason cut in, sniping your stupid joke out of the air. “Secondly, answer the question. I get enough of your diversions back at home.”
“Being a buzzkill must run in family,” you sighed, but gave in quickly enough. “It happened once before the whole kidnapping thing, when he was staying at my apartment and sleeping off a broken leg. I hadn’t even seen him without his mask on at that point, but I figured it was a sign – destiny, or something.” You did your best to smile, slumping against the door. “It was dumb. He gave me a couple weeks after bringing me to the estate, mostly because of the crying and stuff, but things started up again pretty quickly.”
“Do you… like it?”
“Do you like asking about your dad’s sex life?” He flinched back, and laughing, you went on. “I guess I don’t care. There’s not a lot else to do.” You swallowed. “Would it matter if I didn’t?”
For someone with so many questions, he didn’t leave a lot of time for yours, the hypocrite. Moving on swiftly, he asked, “And the others, have they…?”
“No.” And then, after a beat, “Not yet.”
He seemed to relax, at that. His back was still straight, his shoulders still squared, but his grip on the wheel loosened, his jaw unclenching ever so slightly. You tried the handle – locked. Obviously. As if you’d ever get that lucky.
His voice was soft, sweet. The kind of tone you’d use on a child, or an animal, or a doll. “This would probably be easier in the backseat, right?”
“Let me out.”
“So you can go where,baby? It’s just us out here.” He laughed, resting a hand on your thigh. You slammed your shoulder into the door. It didn’t budge. “Hey, hey, this doesn’t need to get rough. I’m not going to be like Dick. The others – they’ll do it wrong, treat you like a cut of meat they have to get to before anybody else. I just need to make sure you get out of this in one piece.”
Nails embedded in leather, body crammed as far from him as you could force it be. You weren’t hyperventilating, but only because you’d stopped breathing entirely. “Let me out, Jason.”
“I love the way you say my name. It’s pretty, and delicate – just like you.” He sighed, shook his head. “I know you don’t get it, but I’m just trying to take care of you, like you’ve been taking care of me for the past few—”
“Stop acting like I’m your mom.” A sob fractured the final syllable, another bubbling up from deep in your chest a moment later. Your body was beyond the point of rationality, but the soft, preservational part of your mind wasn’t so beyond the point of seeking refuge. There was a way out of this, as ghoulish as it seemed. You couldn’t stop it from happening, but you could make it better. You’d regret it in an hour, when it came time to explain yourself to Bruce, but what happened in an hour didn’t matter, not if you couldn’t survive the next few minutes.
You might’ve done it, too – or, you might’ve tried, at least. You wanted to. You planned to. And yet, when you opened your mouth, there was only one thing you could seem to say. “I don’t want to do this, Jason.”
His nails bit into your thigh, his smile easing at the corners. For a second, you almost thought he’d pull away. For a second, you almost thought he’d sigh, straighten back up, and admit this was all part of some cruel, unfunny joke that the two of you would remember fondly, later on.
Then, he laughed and leaned forward, lips brushing against the top of your head. You felt him speak before you heard his voice, but the cloying reverberation alone was enough to tell you that you would’ve been better off never saying anything at all.
“Welcome to the family, sweetheart.”
Happy Valentine’s Day! <3
I want this, but like, kinda leaning into Father figure Fright Knight, like, Frighty is so put to protecting Danny, he becomes a new paternal figure on Dannys life, but like, i know it sounds weird to some degree
so, behold! Big brother Frighty.
He just, overprotective, shit talker, done with Danny but doesn’t allow anyone else to be rude to him, he is also very dramatic, will not use any other language that isn’t Ghostspeak just, dramatic, big brother. Yes.
Also, Danny being like “Ugh! How discriminatory, he is a meta, God forbid they dress however they like and act in a not usually socially acceptable way!”
Danny is going to Gotham high which yay for him!
Problem? Right now he's in the office because he may have punched someone while defending damian and now everyone is waiting for his guardian
But clockwork can't come (humans perceive him a bit...well he just can't) and jazz has an important exam
So who's next in line?
Fright Knight! (Okay, technically he's not the Guardian OF Danny but more guarding Danny but details details)
So Fright Knight appears in all of his villain-esque glory and foaming sword
And everyone kinda freaks out because?? Danny, is your guardian a villain? What do you mean 'depends'?? What does the shrugging mean?? No we can't go back to the punch thing-
Jason just got so caught up in cleaning up the kidnappers that he forgot that someone (Tim) got kidnapped. This happens every other month for Tim.
Ik this isn’t my usual fanart but I got to design a poster for any city in my illustration class and I chose Gotham (because I’m a nerd). So I hope you enjoy it regardless
Do you ever forget you have superpowers? Kon does often.
It’s still a sweet gesture.
You have no idea the demons I fought to not turn this little comic angsty. I might still do it, I haven’t decided yet.
”What happens to you when the pit takes over?”
“I don’t really know. I just know it feels good.”
(Welcome back to head cannon alley where Jason isn’t really present during his pit episodes and instead goes into a floater like state. He doesn’t really know what’s going on all he knows is that the pit is indulging on his more morally gray actions.
Also it’s a head canon that the pit episodes gives an almost euphoric state, so you feel good when they happen. They’re addictive, which adds another layer onto why it’s hard to fight against them, to stay in control.)