Billy Russo X Reader - Blog Posts

"You're Really Gonna Make Me Beg?'

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy and You are assigned on an assassination assignment together. Billy is cold to You until he learns about you at a bar after the mission. Then the night takes an interesting after leaving the bar.

Warnings: Not a whole lot lol. Smut, Hand Kink, Innocence Kink ig (Reader has never cum before), Exhibitionism Kink (they fuck on the wall of a random building outside), Riding, Blowjob, Cunnilingus, Bathtub Sex, Kinda a Lil Bit Fluffy, Dom!Billy x Sub!Reader, Pet Names Baby and Doll

Minors DNI

“Nice to meet you! The Name is y/n y/l/n!” I say to the man I had just been assigned to do a kill with. I hold out my hand for him to shake before he just eyes it and replies.

“Billy Russo.” He says with the most straight face I’ve ever seen. His lips in a paper thin straight line.

“Well, do you have all your equipment?” I ask, noticing that he obviously doesn’t want to get to know each other. 

“What kind of assassin do you think I am?” He asks, before asking me the same.

“I could ask you the same thing, as soon as I said hi, you seemed to decide that you didn’t like me. So let’s just get this done with so I can get back to my other recreational activities.” I say before picking up my gear and walking away to get into the car.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

We drive to the stake-out location and it’s tense. He is obviously upset about something, but who knows what crawled up his ass and died. You set up on the roof and start assembling your sniper. You preferred snipers, they gave better accuracy and you just needed one shot to take someone down. 

You can feel his eyes boring into you as you finish adjusting your position so you can see out the scope of your rifle. He finally starts setting up his own assault rifle. And you resist the urge to watch the man work. He’s methodical and fluid with his movement and god did you think that was hot. Your mind started to drift off to what else those fingers could do before you stopped yourself, “no, this is strictly professional y/n.”

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

It took a whole 37 hours before your first target arrived. You didn’t ask your boss much about the two assassinations you were meant to carry out. You just memorized their faces and skimmed over the information in the files. You learned that knowing too much about a target makes it harder to pull your trigger. But then the second arrives as well. This was a pleasant surprise, a simple double kill. You tap Billy’s shoulder before you whisper, “It’s both of them, we could probably take the kill with one shot if we got the angle right.”

He listens as you explain where you need to adjust yourself so you can get the perfect shot. “Okay, am I taking the shot or are you?” he replies.

“You will, your rifle has a better scope and this needs to be precise if we’re taking out the two of them with one shot.” You say back. 

You watch as the targets converse, obviously arguing about something. Amidst their argument they finally align just how you had wanted. “Now Billy, take the shot now,” You say.

You watch as Billy silently takes the shot and the bodies fall to the ground. You quickly pack up your equipment as Billy just sits there. You start carrying your equipment down the stairs to clean the area and move their bodies.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

The bodies are buried a couple miles away in a deep grave to make sure they aren’t found any time soon. Once you clean yourself up, you turn to Billy before asking, “I saw a bar a couple miles back near the stake-out area, you want to grab a drink?”

He stares at you for a minute, it feels cold and you swear you shiver, “Why not, I have nothing to go running back to.”

Once you arrive at the bar, you walk in and address the bartender, “Two Whiskeys, Neat, Please,” you say.

You sit down in a booth near the far corner and Billy slides into the seat beside you. You get drinks and start sipping it silently before Billy asks, “Did you see the looks on their faces once they heard the shot?”

You’re surprised that he even talked to you, but you reply nonetheless, “I mean kind of. One of them seemed horrified, 90% sure he legitimately shat himself. But the second, he almost seemed like he wanted it. Like we were about to grant a secret wish that he’d had, y’know?”

He looks at you, as if he didn’t think you’d pay that close attention before, saying,”I didn’t notice anything with the second one. But I do agree with what you said about the first one, he did seem to have shat himself,”he says before chuckling to himself.

You sit in a couple more seconds of awkward silence, while you keep staring at him. “His face, his soft-looking lips, the light stubble of his cheek that you can almost imagine between your thighs- STOP.  Y/n this is not professional, but lord forgive me- ugh,” You think before shaking your head in frustration.

You can feel him watching you, you know he noticed you little stolen glances. But he stays silent before asking, “Is there a specific kill that you remember specifically more than others?”

Again, you’re shocked he’s talking to you but again you answer him, “Yes, actually. There was once this big drug tycoon I was assigned to take out. But then once I had disposed of him, I was told to kill the family as well. And the one I remember is his 4 year-old daughter, Clara. I broke into the home, shot the mom and watched as her child sobbed over her. Then I shot the toddler point blank. Her face haunts me, every time I try to sleep at night. Anytime I try to relax her face pops back up in my head.”

“What did you do after?” He asks you, before taking another sip of his drink.

You feel the tears well up in your eyes with the memory of the child, so you down the rest of your drink before answering him. “I cleaned the house and staged it as a break-in robbery gone wrong. Then I wept over them for maybe 20 minutes. Then I reported back to Rawlins and then headed home. Once I was home, I showered and curled up in a ball on my bed and wept some more. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat or drink. I couldn’t do anything, I was practically dysfunctional for the week after that.”

You signal to the bartender for a refill on your whiskey before Billy asks another question, “Why do you think he asked you to do it, Rawlins that is?”

You sigh before you go collect your drinks. You then walk back over to the booth where Billy is before answering him yet again. “He told me that it was so that quote-on-quote no one would miss him, now that he was gone. And that’s how I tried to justify it, but over the years I now think it was just some fucked-up way to make me prove my loyalty to him. I was young and longing for validation, and I was able to get it from Rawlins, but I don’t enjoy it now. It makes me feel dirty, like every kill is leaving another mark or scar on my soul. And I know that one day I’m going to wear too thin and I’ll shatter like glass hitting the ground.”

“What did you do to try and relieve yourself,” he asks before lightly smirking, realizing how dirty that almost sounded.

I side eye him before continuing, “I actually used to make paper flowers as a sort of ode to the ones I had killed. But after Clara, I wasn’t able to anymore. Any time I try to now, my hands start shaking and I start sobbing.”

“Okay, a few more questions and then you can ask me some,” he says smiling lightly. The smile is pretty and you can’t help admiring him but he pulls you out of your mind as he asks, “How old were you when that happened?”

“I was 20, I had started in the army at 17 and left at 20. Rawlins recruited me not too shortly after and one of my first assignments was to kill Clara and her family.”

“Okay, now I have one more,” he says softly.

“Let em rip, I guess,” I state.

“Okay, final question, What do you think would have happened if you hadn’t followed orders? What do you think would have happened to Clara if you hadn’t killed her and her mother?”

“You take another sip of your whiskey before looking back at him, “That’s technically two questions but okay. I probably would have been killed and she would have grown up to have no father. She seemed like a kind girl with good parents despite what her father did. And she seemed to have a love for bunnies. I feel like she probably ended up being a vet or having her own farm one day to feed her love for animals. Married a man that treated her like a princess. Probably would have grown old watching her grandchildren play in her yard as she grew old with a man that she had loved for the last 65 years.”

“So you would have ended up dead if you had denied Rawlins’ orders. If you could go back, would you and not kill her. Would you trade your life for hers?” Billy asks before sipping his drink.

“I thought the last one was the final question,” I say with a chuckle. ”Well, absolutely. 1000% I would trade my life for hers. She had a great life ahead of her, she would bring more good to the world than her father brought bad. I have been far from treated like a princess my whole life and my poor home life made my experience non-ideal. I have never had or brought anything but pain into the world. She had a wonderful life ahead of her while I still have a tormenting one.”

He seems to listen intently as I answer all of his questions. After a few seconds he says, “I’m gonna grab the next round of drinks and then it’s your turn.”

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

I asked him the same questions he asked me. And I listened as he told me about how he was abandoned as a child making him carry a degree of resentment towards his mother. As he talked about his best friend and army buddy Frank Castle. Noticing the light in his eye as he described Frank as his brother and only family.

While he was talking to you, you continued admiring him. He was deserving of Frank’s nickname for him, Pretty Boy. You kept swapping from looking him in the eye and looking back down to his lips. Hypnotized by the simple action of him licking his lips as he continued speaking. He made you feel safe as you talked. He made you want to be held by him, like he would comfort you sweetly as you pour your heart and soul out for him. Like he would wipe away your tears and make you feel loved for the first time.

 You continued speaking for about 2 more rounds of drinks before he asked something else, “Hey, can I ask you an unusual request?”

“Sure?” you reply, wondering what it might be.

“Okay follow me,” He quickly places some bills on the bar before holding out his to you for you to take.

“Where might we be going exactly,” you ask as you take his hand, but he doesn’t answer.

He doesn't say a word as he leads you out into the darkened street. It's quieter out here and there is no one to be seen except for the two of you. He stops suddenly and turns to look at you. He then steps closer.

You stared into his eyes longingly, trying not to keep glancing down at his lips but you can't help it.

He stares into your eyes for a moment longer, then leans in and pulls you close, his breath warm against your lips.

Your lips meet and you put more passion into the kiss. He slips his tongue into your mouth as you lean in close to him.

You begin to wrap your arms around him. You melt into his embrace, pushing up closer against him as you continue to return his passion. Your hands begin to run through his hair and hold him tighter against you.

His hands drift lower as they reach the top of your shirt, beginning to trace their way beneath.

You feel his hands go under your shirt as you grip him from the roots of his hair and pull him closer by his belt loop.

As you grip him by his pants, you feel his hands running all the way to the edge of your bra. He grips one of your breasts with one hand while the other roams freely over your frame. You feel his hand trail back down to your waist, tracing the edge of your panties with his index finger.

Your hands are shaking slightly as you unfastened his belt. You can feel him shiver lightly as the tension builds between you both.

"Are you gonna fuck me baby? please baby" you whine against his lips as you unzip his pants

“I just might,” he says smiling down at you.

“You’re really gonna make me beg?” You ask

“I kind of want you to, yeah,” He says, slightly laughing.

“Fuck Me Pretty Please Sir, I’ll be a good girl,” You beg, sticking out your lip in a fake, overdramatic pout.

He pulls you closer and with a grin on his lips and leans close to your ear before saying, with a tease in his voice, "Is that an order?"

"Do you want it to be?" you whisper back teasingly.

“No, sir doesn’t take orders. Though I am contemplating carrying it out anyway,” he says grinning.

"Well Sergeant, you may not want to take orders, but can I make a request maybe?" You ask

"I'm listening, soldier," His voice is soft and teasing. It's as if he likes when you call him "Sergeant."

"What if you fucked me right now, right here until I couldn't walk. And then you took me back to your hotel room and fucked me some more. Then you held me in your arms after we were done and we fell asleep together. What if you did that for me...Sergeant?" You say with a sly smile

“I don’t know, if I took requests and orders from subordinates, what kind of sergeant would I be? Although I can’t say I’m not tempted.” He says grinning

“You would be a good one, at least in my opinion. Especially when your subordinates ask you for such a sensitive request.” You say fake pouting at his response.

"I think it's a very specific request," he continues teasing back, his grin growing wider. "I think maybe someone is just trying to get around the rules.”

"How about you follow through with it, Sir. You'd be a good Sergeant if you did…Sir" You slowly unzip his pants as you talk.

His smile is growing wider as you unzip his pants. He watches as you slowly tease him. "And if I do, how would you show your appreciation?"

“Maybe an oral...presentation," you say lowering down to my knees

He watches as you lower yourself onto your knees in front of him. His smile widens even more as he stares down at you. "And what else would you be willing to give?"

"Maybe a taste of dessert and then a multi round event" you say before kissing down his stomach.

"And just how many rounds to this event are we talking about?" he murmurs with a chuckle in his voice. As you keep kissing down his stomach, his hands begin to run through your hair and grip it tighter at the roots.

"As many as you want, Sergeant" you say grinning. You slowly pull down his briefs and grip his cock before stroking it.

You slip it into your mouth as you bob up and down. He groans lowly before gripping your hair tighter, controlling your movements. You slowly take more and more of him into your mouth before you’re deepthroating him. 

His cock was big, like bigger than you’d ever seen. You had only had sex once before, and relied mostly on your toys and porn, but wow he was generously endowed.

He grips your hair guiding your inexperienced mouth to bring him the pleasure you so desired to give him. You choke slightly as he comes down your throat, cursing under his breath before bringing you back up to kiss him.

He can taste himself on your tongue as he kisses you roughly. You moan into the kiss as you feel him slowly pull down your jeans and panties. He traces your cunt with his finger as he says, “Aww, so wet f’me baby. And to pair it with such a tight little cunt is sinful.”

“All for you Billy, all for you,” you say breathless as he starts pumping his ring and index finger into you. 

Your skin prickles with the thought of being out on the street like this. Anybody could see you propped up against this building. Your cunt clenches at the thought as Billy pumps faster in and out, adding his thumb rubbing your clit to the equation. You feel a pit in your stomach, it is unfamiliar to you as you shift at the new feeling. “Billy, my tummy feels funny,” you babble at him.

“What do you mean bunny?” He asks, obviously a little confused at your statement.

“I feel like there’s a pit in there, almost like a knot to be untied,” you say, still not knowing what it was.

“Oh baby,” he coos, “that means you’re gonna cum.” He says softly, smiling down at you.

You look at him dazed, both from what he said and what you now know was your impending orgasm. He brings his mouth to your neck, kissing softly of your collarbone and sucking marks down on the previously “empty” skin. You whimper in his ear as you feel your orgasm start to come crashing down on you.

“Come for me baby, It’s okay, let go baby,” Billy coos into your neck as you continue to whine and whimper.

You finally let go and all you feel is bliss. You’d never felt anything like this before. You feel light as a feather and like your skin prickles. You feel Billy still slowly pumping his fingers in and out of you as he eases you down from your orgasm. You look at him with half-lidded eyes as you feel his hand wrap around your neck to pull you into a kiss.

You whimper a little as he ceases his fingers movements, still sensitive from your orgasm. You feel him rub his tip up and down your slit before sliding into your tight cunt. The stretch blissfully burns once Billy is fully inside you. He experimentally rocks his hips back and forth, eliciting a moan from your mouth. “God this cunt’s like a vice, gripping so good baby,” Billy moans in your ear.

He slowly starts bucking up into you. You can feel the brick of the building behind you scraping the skin of your back but you don’t care. You’ve never had sex like this before, this was borderline, no this WAS euphoric. 

He starts circling your clit as he continues pumping in and out of you. You feel a now familiar knot in your stomach slowly tying itself again. His thrusts become erratic and you feel his cock twitch inside you as his movements on your clit become more hurried. 

You practically scream before Billy slaps a hand over your mouth as you come. “Gotta be quiet baby, you can’t be allerting someone of our current predicament now can we,” he teases at you. But you can’t even focus, there are stars swimming in your vision and your brain feels fuzzy. ‘

“Can I come inside you baby? Please baby I really need to come,” Billy pleads.

“Go ahead Billy, oh please Billy come inside of me,” you moan. You didn’t even care that you had met the man less than 48 hours ago. He was fucking you too good to even care in the first place.

He thrusts into you a few more times before he spills his spend into you. You feel him continue fucking his cum into you before he slows to a stop inside you. “God, that was, that was wow.” Billy says breathlessly.

“Agreed,” you reply, your brain not being able to formulate more than that.

He slowly pulls out of you and sets you on the ground on uneasy legs. You catch yourself on the wall behind you as Billy adjusts himself back into his pants. He pulls you into his arms after fixing your bottoms. He lifts you bridal style and carries you down the street to where your car was. 

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

When you arrive at the hotel, you try to stumble out of the car on your own but you almost fall flat on your ass. Billy thankfully catches you before you hit the pavement and helps you up to your shared room on wobbly legs. Once you’re in the room Billy presses you against the door and kisses you again. 

You pull him closer by the back of his neck, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. He lifts you up again and you wrap your legs around his waist before he carries you to the bed. He unceremoniously throws you on the bed before he pulls away from you. 

“Have you never come before this?” He asks as he kisses down your body, reaching under your shirt to lift it over your head. 

“No sir,” you reply sheepishly. You lift your head and he pulls your shirt over it. 

“Aww, baby’s never come. So no one’s ever gone down on you before?” He asks, cooing at you slightly.

“Nuh uh,” you say, shaking your head.

“He slowly kisses down your stomach before unbuttoning your pants again. He taps you on the thigh, signaling you to lift your hips. You slightly raise them before he peels both your bottoms down in a swift movement. He throws them aside in some corner of the room to be found later.

He continues kissing down your stomach, inching closer to your cunt. You can feel it pulsing with arousal. He lowers head to your cunt before looking up at you through hooded eyes before licking a long stripe up your cunt.

Your hands fly to his hair as he continues his actions. Slowly adding his index and middle finger into the mix again. He expertly sucks on your clit as he eats you out. His nose nudges your clit when his mouth joins his fingers. 

You feel another knot building in you as you grips his hair at the roots. Your moans and whimpers bounce off the room, echoing in your ears. The knot bursts once he curls his finger slightly inside you. You swear your soul left your body, you could look back down on yourself.

When you come back to, you hear a bath running and a warm washcloth gently cleaning your legs. You open your eyes and look up to see Billy cleaning you up. You shift a little and Billy looks back up at you and says, “Look who's awake again.”

He chuckles a little as he picks you up and carries you to the bathroom. He sets you in the tub before stripping and settling in behind you. You turn around and straddle him before pulling him into another lengthy kiss. God, you haven’t been this horny for years. You’re so sensitive but my god were you ready for another round.

You grab his cock and slowly guide it back into you. You feel so full but it feels so good too. You rock your hips back and forth as Billy groans against your lips. You pull away from him for a breath and he returns his face to the crook of your neck. You moan breathlessly as he sucks new marks on top of the old ones. 

“Oh you’re such a good girl, baby,” He groans, “I would fuck you all day if I could.”

“Why can’t you,” you ask, ”I mean, I don’t see why we couldn’t continue whatever this is. I would open if you are.”

“I would love that baby,” he says breathlessly against your collarbone.

He grips your hips, guiding you up and down on his cock. You grind down on his hips as he sheathes you on his cock. You feel like you might split in two as he fucks up into you. You ride him slowly as the warm water swishes around you.

You feel delighted as he stares up at you, like you’re a piece of art. Your head rolls back in tandem with your eyes, he was utter bliss. The intimacy of riding him slowly in the bath was so delicate. You felt so fragile in that moment, as if his gaze could shatter if it lingered too long.

He quickened the rolls of your hips, his hands gripping harder at your hips. He grounds you down further so your clit is stimulated as well. “I’m gonna come Billy, please I’ve been a good girl,” you whine as you feel yourself on the precipice of tipping over. 

“Hold on baby, I wanna come at the same time baby,” he groans in your ear as he bucks up into you faster and faster. “Now baby, you can let go now,” he whispers to you as you feel him twitch inside of you.

You feel like you’re floating as you feel yourself collapse onto Billy. He strokes your back lovingly as he stays inside of you, comforting you after your high. God, you felt like you were in heaven.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

You didn’t remember much more after your 6th orgasm, but you wake up feeling Billy’s arm cradling you. “Mornin’ doll,” he says to you when he notices you’re awake.

He gets up and starts getting dressed before signaling for you to do the same. You wobble on your legs before you collapse onto the floor. You wince a little when you hit the floor and Billy comes around the bed to pick you off the floor, “Sorry about that, forgot the effects of last night.”

You chuckle at his comment as you steady yourself using his shoulders, his hands on your waist keeping you up-right. He sets you back in bed before asking if you wanted room service.

He orders pancakes, bacon, and orange juice. When it arrives he crawls into bed with you and helps feed you your breakfast. Once the two of you are finished eating, he helps you redress. Billy helps you back downstairs to your car while you stumble out of the hotel you had stayed in. Now all you had to do was hide this from Rawlins when you checked in with him for the assignment.  

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

“How are we going to distract Rawlins from the fact that my legs don’t work?” You ask Billy as he drives towards your checkpoint, hand on your thigh, lightly squeezing it.

“I suppose you stay close to the car and use it for support? It would be obvious if I was holding you up and you would fall on your ass again if you tried to support yourself,” He tells you simply.

Once you reach the checkpoint, your legs weren’t non-functional, but they were still far from functional. You mostly stayed at the hood of the car as Billy got out and led Rawlins close to the car so the pair of you could complete the check-in. You can feel Rawlins’ eyes on you as you lean on the car for support, however, if he caught on he didn’t say anything.

Once you finish the check in and Rawlins is back in his car driving away, Billy asks, “So, where might your pretty little head live? Or do you want to go back to my penthouse?” 

You chuckle a little before you answer, “I wouldn’t mind seeing your place, although I do think Rawlins figured out what we did. It felt like he shot daggers at me.” 

Billy laughs before, responding with a simple, “probably,” before starting the car. 

∾ ▩ °º❤️º°  ▩ ∾

A/N

Hope you guys liked the story! I do have to admit, I have never actually cum before either lol. Would love for someone to change that fact but tragically nobody has. Anyways, Have a great night, my request and messages are always open. Love Y'all, Mwah!

Questions for You, My Loves

pitaparka’s masterlist

updated: 2/7/21

*asterisks indicate smut!!

STAR WARS

PEDRO PASCAL HEADCANONS

sex*

when he’s sick

when you sleep with him for the first time

when you want him to choke you*

PEDRO PASCAL FANFICTION

a steadfast heart will conquer - (frankie morales x reader)

you show up at frankie’s doorstep in the middle of the night after your boyfriend gets violent. he invites you in to stay the night.

THE AVENGERS

lock, stock, and barrel - (scott lang x reader)

your dog locks you out of your car. the locksmith who shows up to let her out? is kinda hot

THE PUNISHER

hat trick - (billy russo x reader)

billy’s hair gets a little too long for his liking. you decide to take it into your own hands. literally.

band-aids and bullet wounds - (frank castle x reader)

frank comes home with bumps and bruises. you sing him a little tune to brighten his night.

keepin’ busy - (frank castle x reader)

frank’s been a lot more… tense, since quarantine started. whether that’s because he’s not taking his rage out on bad guys late at night or because he’s stuck in your house without a little privacy? that’s anyone’s guess… 

OUTER BANKS

listen to the waves - (john b. x reader x kie)

john b. and kie take you to the beach with the rest of the pogues. tooth rotting fluff ensues 

coming attraction* - (jj maybank x reader)

it’s pretty hot in the Outer Banks. that’s not the only thing that’s getting hot though.

you’ve got a friend in me - (jj maybank x reader)

jj tries to watch Toy Story with you and takes you on a walk down to one of the old playgrounds in the outer banks

eye of the storm - (jj maybank x reader)

john b., reader, and jj go surfing during agatha. they get hurt and the boys fuss and care for them.

hot and bothered* - (jj maybank x reader)

jj and reader fall asleep together at john b.’s place. reader isn’t asleep for long when jj wakes them up asking for help with a rather hard problem.

don’t you wish - (jj maybank x reader)

jj is really upset you’re going to college. you hold him before you go.

lazy river - (john b. x reader)

it’s been a long time since you’ve been to a water park. jon b knows this, and wants to change that.

a friend in need is a friend indeed* - (jj maybank x reader x john b.)

reader, jj, and john b. are drunk. really drunk. handsome teenage boys make for fun parties and willing threesomes.

between the devil and the deep blue sea - (jj maybank x reader / john b. x reader)

you wake up to find your brother missing. you’re then met by two handsome boys in your motel room, who just so happen to have his key. they offer to help you find him.

sit down you’re rocking the boat - (jj maybank x reader)

you watch JJ emerge from the water like an atlantean prince and it makes you want to help him clean the boat, even if he doesn’t really need it.

WRITING PROMPTS

quarantine prompts

writing prompt #1

allergic reaction prompts

christmas prompts 

halloween prompts

fall prompts 

flower meanings

“I desperately need a haircut. Will you try to cut it for me? Please?” w billy

summary: billy’s hair gets a little too long for his liking. you decide to take it into your own hands. literally.

pairing: billy russo x reader

word count: 1.8k

a/n: that billy gif does somethin’ to me man...

Billy had been wearing a hat every day for a week. In the house. Not going anywhere.

It was driving you insane.

"Take that stupid thing off, Billy," you’d say to him. His hair had been abnormally soft since he hadn’t been gelling it for work lately, not that you could see it. It was a stupid thing to get mad about, but tensions had been running high in your apartment. After Billy moved in, it had been much easier to spend time with him, and you were grateful for that. But during this quarantine, you both had been a little on edge.

“It looks like shit. I need a haircut,” he’d say, running his fingers through it in front of the mirror in the morning. He still woke up at an ungodly hour for some reason. It’s not like he had to. All of his meetings happened after nine o’clock in the morning, but the smell of a fresh pot of coffee brewing wasn’t the worst thing in the world to wake up to. Either way, the hair thing was stressing him out.

“It’s embarrassing,” he said, grumbling in bed after a long day of zoom calls and meetings on the phone. It was incredibly inconvenient to be running a company during this time. Especially because the people he was in charge of did most of their work in person, manually laboring away on a typical schedule. Billy had been trying to work that out over the phone, face to face with his higher-ups who were also confined to their houses.

“Just cut it yourself, Billy,” you say, sitting at your desk, typing away at an assignment that was due later on in the week. You sigh and sit back in your chair, leaning back to recline your feet on your desk and put your hands behind your head.

“I don’t know how. I’ve never had to before. I’d fuck it up,” he says, running his hands over his face and letting out a loud yawn. 

“There are videos online?” you suggest. Billy’s ears perk up.

“I think I have clippers somewhere…” he muses. He sighs.

“I desperately need a haircut,” he says, pulling a lock of hair down over his face. He goes almost cross-eyed to look at it, and it comes down to about the tip of his nose.

“I know, Billy. You complaining about it isn’t going to make your hair shorter,” you clarify, and he huffs in frustration.

“Have you ever cut hair?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbow to take a good look at you. It was easy to see you in the soft light of the lamp on your desk. You let out a little laugh.

“No… Actually, yes, once. I think I was like five? My mom was not happy. I gave myself bangs.” You laugh at the story, but that’s only what you had been told. It’s not like you knew the first thing about cutting hair.

“Come on, I’m serious. Will you try to cut it for me? Please?” he asks, and you check your clock.

“Right now?” you ask, and you rub your arms softly.

“I have stuff that’s due,” you say to him. He just looks at you in response.

“You could do it tomorrow if you want,” he finally says, and you close your laptop.

“No, let’s just… let's get it done tonight. I don’t want you complaining if I give you a bad haircut though,” you say, planting your feet on the ground.

“I don’t want a whole cut, just a trim. Let me go find the clippers,” he says, getting out of bed. You resist the urge to slap his ass as he walks past you.

“You don’t get to be picky, Russo,” you mutter after he leaves the door slightly ajar behind him. You take the opportunity to look up some articles and videos about cutting hair.

Billy’s setup includes one chair he got from the dining room, an old towel from the closet, and his face trimmer from under the bathroom sink.

“Okay, do you know how he cuts it? Does he just hold it like this or does he like… run a comb through it?” you stand behind him like his barber would to demonstrate, holding sections of his hair.

“I don’t know, he just, cuts it…” Billy says, adjusting the towel around his shoulder.

“Wow Billy, that’s… such a wealth of information you just gave me.”

“I don’t have eyes on the back of my head! How am I supposed to know—”

“Okay, so you’re gonna get what you’re gonna get and you’re gonna be happy, okay?” you say, and you hear him chuckle and mutter, “Oh god…”

“I can’t blend the hairline with the clippers we have,” you say after he explains the settings. You clip his hair back to see the lines the barber left behind from his last cut. It hasn’t been so long that they’ve faded too much.

“That’s okay. We can do just, high and tight on the sides. No fades.”

“You can’t move.” You clarify, and he plays with the trimmer before handing it to you.

“I know. Thank you for doing this for me by the way,” he says. He can’t see himself in the mirror, so he just has to trust you.

“Mhmm,” you agree absentmindedly as you focus, bringing the trimmer to the back of his head. You go over one spot repeatedly, but the hair doesn’t look like it’s getting any shorter.

“What do you see back there?” Billy asks, obviously scared you’re going to make him bald.

“It’s like, barely even cutting anything,” you say. You pull the clippers away from his head. He shifts in his seat.

“Uh oh. Let me feel it?” He asks and touches the hair there.

“Nope,” he agrees and gets up from his chair. He looks at the attachments and fiddles with the trimmer for a bit before he figures out the attachments were wrong, and the one you were supposed to be using was on the counter, not on the buzzer.

You turn it on and put it back to his head, and it seems to work better.

“Is that any better?” Billy asks, almost reading your mind.

“Yeah, I think so,” you respond, taking slow, precise movements through his hair. You can feel the hair gather in little piles around your feet. You find yourself in a groove and it becomes a lot less scary when you’re not worried about having him end up with some god awful buzz cut. You hold his head steady, one hand cupping the side of his face.

“It looks, chunky,” you complain, and you can feel his face scrunch up a little bit.

“I don’t know if that’s what I want to hear,” he says, tilting his head back more when you press your fingers into his jaw and guide him slowly.

But after a little while, it all starts to come together and looks much more even. You turn off the trimmer and admire your work, which is pretty darn good if you do say so yourself.

Getting up from the chair, Billy admires himself closely in the mirror. He runs his fingers over the newly buzzed sides of his head.

“I mean, up close you can tell it’s not faded, but it looks like I got a fresh cut,” he says, sitting back down. You can’t help but feel a little pride over it.

“I can clean up the sides without the guard on, like the ears and stuff,” you say.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he says, taking off the blade guard from the clippers.

He puts the trimmer back at your hand and now the metal gleams intimidatingly at you. It’s oddly intimate for the two of you. Something about having the blade so dangerously close to his skin was personal. Just the persistent buzz of the clippers and the stories coming from Billy about bad barbers. You can feel the goosebumps on his skin as you clean up the hair on the back of his neck. Then came the lines around his ears on both sides.

As you finished up, you offered him a mirror to see the back of it.

“If you want, I can round the edges a little more,” you offer.

“No, this is perfect. It looks great back there,” he says, moving the mirror from side to side, examining the back of his head. 

“Okay, I think we’re done!” he says, and you correct him.

“With the clippers.”

“Yes, with the clippers.” he agrees.

You wet his hair with a spray bottle newly filled with water you had retrieved from the closet, and with the smallest scissors you could find you take off little sections of hair from the top of his head. The reaction from Billy is physical, his shoulders standing a little taller, a little more confident in his new look. Some pieces of hair still cling to his t-shirt and shoulders, making him scratch at his neck.

“Hop in the shower quick and then I’ll blow dry it before you get into bed,” you tell him, and he listens, but not before he rudely kisses you, hands cupping the side of your face.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, before stripping off his clothes before he even turned the shower on. You leave the bathroom, face hot as you hear him turn it on. Maybe another day, you’d join him.

He comes out smelling good and looking fresh.

He pokes his head into the bedroom, his hair dripping wet onto the floor, with the need to tell you that he was done, not that you couldn’t hear the shower turn off all by yourself.

“Okay, I’m ready,” he says smiling, and there’s something childishly innocent about him getting excited about you blow-drying his hair.

The loud blow dryer made for little conversation to be had, but you were both fine with that. The heat on Billy’s skin made him tired, especially after the hot shower he had just taken. When his hair was sufficiently dry and you put away all of the tools from the night’s impromptu hair cutting session, Billy came up from behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his head on your shoulder. You watched him in the mirror.

“Thank you for this. It feels so much better,” he says, planting a kiss to your shoulder. The one he plants gently on your neck makes you smile. You wrap your arms around him, holding them there, around your body.

“I didn’t mind,” you clarify, “I like how it came out.”

“Now I don’t feel like I have to wear that fuckin’ hat everywhere,” he says, and pulls away, making his way down the hall to the bedroom.

“Oh thank god,” you whisper under your breath, and follow him.

In bed, you stroke Billy’s newly cut hair. Under your fingers, he pulls you just a little bit closer to him, chest to chest under the warmth of your blankets. The darkness of the night filled the room, the only light streaming in from your window was that of the moon and the stars. You smile, but Billy is already fast asleep.

It really had gotten softer.

Love Me Again

Pairings: Dark!Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: You run into your high school boyfriend Billy at a Christmas party. What started out as a nice reunion quickly turns dark when Billy confesses he still has feelings for you.

Warnings: IMPLIED NON-CON, kidnapping, violence. DO NOT READ IF THESE WILL UPSET YOU. YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION IS YOUR RESPONISBILITY.

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: Written for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor and @lokislastlove XXXmas Challenge. This is my first dark fic and my first time writing for Billy Russo. Sorry if it sucks!

It includes: "The flames of the artifical fireplace licked at the glass, radiating a layer of hear between the bodies gathered for the seasonal soiree." ; obsessive ex ; "You lied to me. I don't like liars." ; : "I hurt you. You hurt me first!"

_______________________________________

The flames of the artificial fireplace licked at the glass, radiating a layer of heat between the bodies gathered for the seasonal soiree. An old friend from high school, Richelle, had invited you to her house for a holiday party, something she said was a chance to catch up and make up for lost time but really you knew she wanted to rub her success in her former peers’ faces. Her “house”, which was really more of a mansion, was out in the Hamptons. Her husband was handsome and nice but rather bland.

When you first received the invitation, gold cursive embossed on ivory cardstock, you rolled your eyes at her blatant attempt to be flashy but then you decided it was your attempt to show everyone from high school how beautifully you had come into yourself since graduation. Your black dress hugged your curves flatteringly, revealing skin in just the right places without being inappropriate for the occasion. Your lips were painted crimson and your subtle yet classic makeup was upgraded by a modest sheen of glitter to give it that festive pop.

Hors d'oeuvres were arranged on silver and gold platters, decorated with sugared cranberries and rosemary to look like frosted sprigs of pine and berries, as if walking outside into the cold New York snow didn’t provide enough of that ambience. You filled a small plate with various fancy pastries that you couldn’t entirely identify but they smelled delicious regardless before returning to a small group of people you had found, old friends from your favorite club. “Oh my gosh! I remember that!” You laughed, covering your full mouth with your hand while you listened to Marcus’s memory of the time your class teamed up with the security guards to play a prank on your teacher, “Mrs. Smith was so mad after that.”

“Serves her right! She was such a bitch!” Christine defended through her laughs.

You nodded, “She really was! I swear, if you hate kids that much, teach college or something…”

Christine picked up off of Marcus’s story and continued with her own spinoff but you couldn’t be bothered to keep up with her words. The world around you seemed to dull as you locked eyes with those dark brown orbs across the room. A surprised smile of disbelief spread across your face as you saw Billy Russo for the first time in years. His face lit up to match your own as gazes met and you excused yourself to glide over to him.

“Billy! I can’t believe you’re here!” You embraced him tightly, his arms pulling you closer into him and you couldn’t help but notice the expanse of muscle you felt pressed against your body.

He released you and gave you a dazzling grin, “When Richelle sent the invite, I couldn’t refuse. Shit, you look great!” Billy gestured up and down your body and your cheeks burned.

“Me? Look at you!” You waved your hand up and down, from his face that had always been well-structured but now had this sexy maturity to it down to his body that was clad in a tailored suit that accentuated his amazing physique. “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in forever. My favorite jarhead…”

Billy laughed at your old nickname for him and sipped from his glass of what you assumed to be whiskey, “Well, you know, I was in the marines for a while but since I got out I started a hired arms business, Anvil. I’ve, uh, I’ve been doing good.”

A genuinely proud sigh left your lips, “I’m so glad you’ve been doing well. It sounds like you’ve done good for yourself. You deserve it, Billy.” And you meant it. You were no stranger to Billy’s hard past. You’d spent a good portion of it with him. The two of you had gone to school together for years as class-friends but not really that close, until you started dating when you were seventeen. It had only lasted a year, both of you parting ways after high school, but he had been your first love and you his.

He looked at you with caring eyes and a smirk that could kill. “Thank you,” he nodded, “but enough about me. What about you? Surely you’ve taken over the world by now.”

You shrugged with faux arrogance, “I’m just that good. I overthrew the world and there wasn’t even a hiccup in daily life. No lives lost, no crashing economies. I was meant for world domination.” You giggled and chewed your lip, “No, but, um, really, I’m doing pretty good. I got that job I always talked about when we toge- when we were in high school. I’m living in Brooklyn now and… um, yeah. I think that’s about it for the big stuff.” You chuckled, finding it difficult to find anything interesting about your life.

“Living in Brooklyn with a boyfriend?” Billy pressed casually and you rolled your eyes, waving off the question.

“Oh no! No, still single,” you glanced away with an awkward chuckle before looking back to him, “What about you? Still terrorizing the women of New York with those killer eyes of yours?”

Billy looked away jokingly with a guilt that told you that you were right in your teasing accusations but then he shook his head, “There’s always only ever been one girl for me.”

The air got thick between the two of you as you realized what he meant. “Oh,” you chuckled awkwardly, unsure of how to respond.

“You know, I never stopped loving you,” Billy admitted without reservation.

Your mouth fell open but words failed to follow. What were you supposed to say to that? “You were my first love too,” you attempted to not agree with his sentiments while not entirely blowing them off either but the dark glint in his eyes told you that maybe that wasn’t the right approach.

Billy looked at you like you held the galaxy in your eyes, “My first and only. You know, I was never able to stop thinking about you. The thought of you was the only thing that kept me going when I was over in Afghanistan.”

“I, uh, that’s very flattering, Billy,” you stumbled over your words, nervous by the underlying tone that he expected you to reciprocate. His dark eyes were locked with yours in an invasive terrifying way he’d never looked at you with. Electricity crackled in the air dangerously and you felt an overwhelming urge to leave.

Thankfully, your phone began to buzz in your purse and you held up your finger. “I’m so sorry, I need to take this really quick,” you lied apologetically, looking at the number that was likely spam. Nevertheless, you answered the phone, “Hello? Mhm… Really? Right now,” you sighed, “Okay, yeah, I’ll be right in.”

You gave Billy an apologetic look as you waved your phone in faux annoyance. “I’m so sorry. It’s a 9-1-1 from work. I need to go,” you lied, knowing you had heard nothing but a recorded message about your car’s extended warranty on the other end. You reached for Billy’s hand and squeezed it tightly, “It’s been great seeing you again, Billy. Take care of yourself.”

As you went to walk away, Billy’s hand flipped up to grab your wrist and your blood suddenly ran cold as ice. You stopped in your tracks and turned to look from where his hand gripped tightly around your arm to his eyes that bored into yours dangerously. “You’re a terrible liar,” he said threateningly.

“Billy, let me go,” you demanded, fear making your voice falter just slightly. You tried to rip your hand away but his grip was like iron.

He sighed with feigned regret before twisting your wrist in a way caused an intense pain to shoot through your joint. “Agh!” You hissed and he let off just slightly.

He pressed his body into your side in a way that just looked like you were walking close to each other. “Shhh,” he cooed in your ear, “All I wanted to do is talk but you had to go ahead and lie to me. Now you better act normal or I’m gonna have to snap this pretty little wrist and neither of us want that.” Billy applied pressure again just to prove his point and you winced, knowing damn well that if he pressed any further your bones would surely give.

Billy began to lead you through the crowd of people, smiling at your former classmates as if he wasn’t forcefully leading you towards the door. “You can’t do this,” you mumbled to him but he just shoved your body forward slightly.

You tripped over your heels and he caught you, “Hey!” He chuckled loudly, “I got you.”

A guy you must have gone to school with but couldn’t place a name for glanced over to the two of you, “Hey, Billy! Everything okay?”

Billy just nodded like a good Samaritan, “Yeah, she just had a little too much to drink. I’m gonna drive her home. Make sure she gets there safe.”

Before you knew it, you were out the door and being bitten by the freezing cold. Billy led you to a sleek black car and shoved you inside. The moment the door was shut, you tried to throw it open before Billy could get into the driver’s seat but the moment your feet hit the snow, you heard a gun cocking. When you looked up, you found yourself staring down the end of a barrel. “Stay.” The word was short and simple but enough to invoke more fear than you’d ever felt.

Slowly, you retreated back into the passenger’s seat and Billy slammed the door shut again. This time, you sat quietly for the first several minutes of the drive “Where are we going?” you demanded.

“I wanted to show you my place. It’s pretty nice, y’know,” he said as if he hadn’t just taken you at gunpoint.

Your hands shook, “Take me home.”

“I am. I’m taking you to what could be our home. Just come see what you could have with me,” Billy tried to persuade you but you just felt sick.

“Billy, you just dragged me out of a party and forced me into your car at gunpoint! I don’t want you!” You spat, your eyes brimming with angry, terrified tears.

Billy’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead at the road, flurries blurring the windshield. “That’s just because you don’t know what you’re missing yet! But don’t worry, you’ll see. You’ll remember what we had. You’ll remember how much you love me.”

The car slowed to a stop inside of a parking garage and Billy led you inside a tall apartment building and up to his nice apartment. Once inside, his demeanor changed and he became more gentle again, guiding you inside before turning around and locking the door - all three locks.

“Y-you have a very nice apartment,” you swallowed hard, “Is that what you wanted to hear, Billy? You have a nice place, a nice car, a nice face. You’ve come so far and I’m really happy for you. Can I please go now?” You pleaded, fear and anger mixing dangerously inside of you.

Billy shrugged his jacket off and tossed it onto the coat hook beside the door. He sauntered towards you while rolling up the cuffs of his white button up, back you into the dining room. Under different circumstances, you would have been impressed with the space but under the current circumstances, you wanted to be anywhere else. “No, no…” Billy shook his head, “You see, I’ve got the job. I’ve got the apartment. I’ve got the money. The only thing I’m missing is you.”

You shook your head, your back coming to hit the wall of his dining room. “This isn’t the way.”

“You wouldn’t listen to me earlier. You lied to me. I don’t like liars. Especially when the girl I love is using excuses to get away from me,” he tutted as if you should be feeling guilty.

Your eyes widened, “And was I wrong?! You kidnapped me!”

Billy shook his head, impressed, “No! You’re smart, aware. It’s some of the sexiest things about you. It makes you dangerous and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like a bit of danger.” He ran a hand up your exposed arm. Goosebumps formed and you shivered, flinching away from his touch.

Suddenly, he gripped your bicep hard enough to pepper your arm with bruises and used the other hand to press against your throat. He wasn’t choking you but he used his leverage expertly to pin you against the wall, right where he wanted you. Still, it was enough to cause pain and terror. “You’re hurting me!” You exclaimed through a choke with a panic, hands flying up to try to pry the hand from your neck.

“I’m hurting you?!” Billy pressed you harder into the wall before letting you go, as if throwing or shoving you into a wall you were already flush with, “You hurt me first.”

Your brows furrowed and your hands rubbed your arm, “What the hell are you talking about?”

Billy turned and ran his hands through his hair, which now fell messily in his face. The debonair man you had reconnected with just an hour ago was now a crazed shell of who he had been.

“You left me. You broke my heart!” Billy exclaimed wildly, now using his gun to gesture from you to himself.

Your confusion was no clearer, “What? I didn’t leave you! We were together for a year and then you joined the marines! We agreed to break up. You said you didn’t want to hold me back and-”

“And you were supposed to stay!” Billy yelled, interrupting you, “You were supposed to tell me that I wasn’t holding you back! That you were gonna wait for me! That you loved me!”

“I did love you!” Hot tears streamed down your face now, “I did, Billy, and you know that! We agreed to break things off because I didn’t want to get married and have my life dictated by wherever the hell the government told me I was allowed to live! And you agreed! You agreed that it wasn’t fair that my dreams be put on hold while you were overseas.”

Billy shook the gun at you and he was nearly in tears, “You don’t get it!”

“I was gonna wait for you! I told you that I was gonna wait for you! I wrote to you every chance I got and eventually I stopped getting letters back. That’s not on me!” You defended yourself angrily. Years of heartbreak that you suppressed started coming out and maybe it was the fear of dying without letting him know how you felt that was letting the truth flow freely but you were furious that Billy had the audacity to think things ended this way. “Billy, I loved you so much.”

Billy looked away, pained, “You see… that’s the problem right there. ‘Loved’. Past tense.” He walked towards you menacingly, glock swinging with trained comfort, “You know I went to that party hoping to impress you. I just wanted to show you how far I’ve come from that little boy in the group home. How I went from that scrawny broken teenager to a decorated special forces marine.”

His hand snaked up your body and gripped your jaw tightly, “But you don’t care about any of this, do you?”

His grip was painful and when you tried to nod, you just found your head shaking minimally in his palm. “It is impressive!” You tried complimenting through smushed cheeks, “I am proud of you. But you need to understand that kidnapping is not the way to get someone to love you again. Not genuinely.”

Maybe it was a bad idea to be honest with the violent veteran who had his hand around your face, surely strong enough to break your neck with minimal effort, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him what he wanted to hear. When you saw him, you still saw that seventeen year old you were in love with, that you could tell anything to, and you hoped he was still in there.

“Billy, if you love me, you’ll move your hand, okay? You don’t hurt the people you love,” you reasoned desperately.

His grip loosened but it didn’t fall as he looked down into the crook of his elbow. His face was red, his eyes were wild. He looked back up to you as if he were pleading, “I don’t want to hurt you,” he cried, “I never did. All I ever wanted was to protect you.”

“Then let me go. Please-”

Billy shook his head and swallowed hard, forcing his own tears down. Instead of letting you go, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, beard scratching your chin and his hot tears mixing with your own. “I can’t do that. You understand, don’t you?”

Using his grip on your neck, he pulled your body into the dining room table and he placed a large palm on your back, pressing you face down onto the wooden table. Your eyes widened in panic as he kicked your feet apart. “Wait, wait, wait!” You begged, trying to force your body up. You stomped your heel clad feet back blindly, hoping to slam into Billy’s feet wildly. “Billy, stop! You don’t need to do this!”

He pulled your hands behind your back and used his belt to tie them together before bending over your body. Billy brushed your hair gently to the side and kissed your ear sweetly. “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he whispered, “I just need to remind you how much you love you love me.”

Monster March masterlist

Plot: After a nightmare that seems too real you turn to Bucky for help, signing a contract with him doesn’t look like a bad idea at the time.

For All Eternity

cecaelia!Bucky x mermaid!Reader (x prince!Tony)

moodboard by @brdom

note: reader is Steve and Peggy’s daughter so I guess there’s that implied physical appearance but feel free to ignore that part if it doesn’t suit you

Plot: They came from the stars and offered salvation, but nothing comes without a price…

The Chase

alien!Billy Russo x Reader

moodboard by@brdom

Plot: You've been betrayed and are about to die when a dark angel comes to your rescue...

Fallen

fallen angel!Darkling x angel!Reader

moodborad by @brdom

Plot: Steve, the leader of the centaurs has plans for you...

My Sweet Princess

centaur!Steve x amazon princess!Reader

(some Wanda x reader and Wanda x Steve)

moodborad by @brdom

Moodboards.

@violetflamesx for my witchy and whimisgoth side blog. @esthers-wine for my fall/autumn themed sideblog. And @zeldafairy for my fic recommendations!

Billy Russo;

Series;

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

Drabbles;

The Wolf.

Diet Mountain Dew.

Jasmine.

jasmine.

I actually wrote something new and long (for me). I was doing dishes when I got inspired. Please note this is explicit. So under 18s please shoo.

Bffs to lovers, fatphobia, plus size reader, mentions of alcohol, aspectrum!Billy, oral (f receiving), language, possessiveness, fem!reader.

1.2k+.

Tagging; @e-dubbc11 @terry2227 @kayhi808 @firexfate @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @snowkestrel @aoi-targaryen @thejanecampaign @danzer8705

Billy wasn’t watching his best friend discreetly, watching you laugh at that fuck boys joke as if he wasn’t trying to get into your pants, as if he could ever treat you like the treasure you were. Billy hadn’t wanted to go to the bar tonight. He wanted to be with you at home.

Was it too much to ask that you spend Friday night at his apartment watching the Witcher and drinking wine as you got progressively drunker, leaning into him making him feel all kinds of warm.

He wasn’t thinking of how you smelled of jasmine, and the warmth of your skin, and how he’d like to feel your thick thighs squeezing his face.

He shot, and the ball went into the hole, and Billy decided then he would have you.

He just had to get rid of Ryan.

You stepped into the unisex bathroom, wishing you’d just gone over to Billy’s tonight. You weren’t sure you could take another “make me a sandwich” joke. Or the way he kept trying to fondle you under the table like you were a piece of meat.

“Lucky I found ya, no one wants a fatty.” You’d shrunk when he said that, thinking of Billy.

Ryan had been eying a pretty redhead anyway, you weren’t stupid. He thought you were a charity case.

You looked up as you took a step into the bathroom. Ryan had the pretty young redhead pinned against the wall, aggressively making out with her.

He looked up at you, his face smeared with sparkly pink lip gloss and his hair mussed up, and she had her leg around his hip.

You walked out, heart aching.

You wandered over to Billy two hours later after glass after glass of wine at the bar, eyes downcast. “Hey, mouse.” He hummed, throwing an arm around your shoulders, pool stick in his hand.

You leaned against his side. “Can we go to your apartment and have wine, and play rummy?” You asked, nudging his side playfully, a giggle escaping.

Billy scoffed, eyebrows raising, “So you can cheat?” He said, downing his whiskey.

“Mhm. Then we can cuddle.” You said into his sweater, squeezing his hips. He smelled like vanilla, comforting and familiar.

“Is that what we do?” He husked, lips turning up, and eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Absolutely. You’re better than my teddy bear, Mr. Snuffles.” You tilted your head up at him, leaning on your tippy toes, kissing the corner of his mouth.

You didn’t need to tell him twice.

You dug through his pockets to his amusement as you both stood in the elevator. You were such a child.

But you found what you were looking for, a sweet caramel candy he always kept in his pockets.

“There’s a candy tax on that.” Billy said as you unwrapped it.

You looked up, eyes wide, pausing; “Tax?” You asked, leaning closer.

“Yeah. I need one kiss for that.” He said, straight faced.

You giggled, and leaned against him, kissing him, your mouth parted, tasting whiskey and nicotine.

His fingers slid into your hair, stealing your breath with the way he kissed you, like you were desirable.

When he pulled back you were both breathless. The elevator dinged and you pulled him out into the hallway, an ache between your thighs that threatened to set you on fire.

He set his keys down on the counter, turning the lights on in the penthouse.

“Billy?” You asked from behind him.

“Hmm?” He asked, turning to you, shrugging out of his coat.

“I want you.” You said, “I keep looking for you in other men, but I can’t find it.” You spoke in a rush, eyes not quite looking at him.

Billy paused, “You know I’ll give you anything you want, mouse.” His voice was low, warm even. “But I might not wanna give you back.”

Your eyes came to life, as you pulled him down for another kiss.

“Can I taste you?” You asked in between kisses, lying on his bed, his leg between your trembling thighs. You instinctively rubbed on him, trying to find some relief.

Billy hummed, “I’d rather eat you out, sweet pea.” He said, stroking your thighs, before flipping you over onto the bed, and caging you in against the pillows as you squeaked.

He hated being touched. He preferred to give rather than receive if it was with someone he cared about. Ever since Arthur, he’d hated touch. Sex with previous lovers had been a tool, but he’d hated it. He didn’t want it to be that way with you. You, who always got him a new stuffed animal every time you went to a department store. You, who always held his hand in your lap on car rides, playing with the silvery scars on his palm, feeding his need for casual intimacy that wasn’t sex.

“Lay back, imma take care of that needy cunt.” He teased you, eyes darkly inviting.

His dark eyes threatened to swallow you whole. You hoped someday he’d let you touch him, to taste him. But god, as he dragged your hips across the bed to devour you, you were sure he’d ruin you.

“Let me see what you taste like between my teeth, mouse,” he husked as you tried to pull your dress back down, laying in his silk sheets, drunk off his kisses and wine.

It brought back all the fantasies you’d had of Billy. Of the dark figure who forced your pleasure from you, who’d taunted you about enjoying your own ruination. You tangled your fingers in Billy’s dark hair, trembling as his beard scratched your thighs.

He wrapped his arms around your thighs, pulling you closer, burying his face in your warm, wet heat. “Oh, god.” You mumbled, toes curling looking up into the lights that seemed all too much and too bright. You looked away.

“Yeah?” He husked, fingers teasing your slick folds, eyes dark like pits. The tip of his tongue teased you, making you whine. He laughed when you pushed his head back down, wrapping your thighs around his head.

You barely recognized your hitching gasps and moans as you rode his face, and he growled, “This pussy’s mine. No one gets to taste it but me.”

He looked up at you, face glistening with your arousal. “Isn’t that right, mouse?” He asked, voice dangerously soft. He let his teeth scrape your clit, and you saw stars, unable to stop the powerful climax that ripped through you.

He watched you doze in his arms, while he played with your hair, a longing in his chest that had threatened to consume him satisfied for now. A contentment stirring within him making him drowsy. His eyes were hooded, as he gazed at you with something he wasn’t ready to put a name to just yet.

He’d always wanted more, more, more. But you satisfied some part of him that had thirsted for love, a part he’d long denied himself, but your tenderness had him hooked on you, never having received that in foster care. His foster father in particular had been hard, often using a belt on Billy whenever he’d disappointed him.

He’d never liked being touched, especially after his sexual abuse, and sex had been his tool to get what he wanted from lovers. But not so with you. But still, he’d rather give to you than receive.

His eyes closed. You were his. He had something of his own.

Diet Mountain Dew.

I’m posting a few pieces I’ve posted before that are safe to post. I’ve also got new stuff in the works, but I am writing new content. It’s just taking time. I write slow these days. :) But I do have a bodyguard mini series planned.

1.2k words.

Tagging; @terry2227 @e-dubbc11 @aoi-targaryen @snowkestrel @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @danzer8705 @firexfate

x

It started where you’d come by, and help give him tools, “Here, Mister Russo.” You’d say, sweetly.

And if he said he didn’t imagine you calling him Mister Russo in different circumstances, he’d be lying.

You smiled, pushing up your large glasses, as though you knew, twirling the tools in your hand, and blowing bubbles with your gum, and changing his radio station to country music of all things.

He turned it back to rock, and you popped another bubble. “I was listening to that.”

“I don’t care. My garage, my music.” He said, lifting the hood of the car.

“You’re kind of an asshole, aren’t you?”

“Took you long enough to figure it out.” He smirked over his shoulder.

You rolled your eyes.

One day he was getting ready to leave when you popped your gum, blowing another bubble, waiting for him to take you home in the cold weather. You often popped into your neighbor's work to chat with him, while you waited for him to get off work. His business was near the bookstore where you worked, and he’d drive you home every day so you didn’t have to walk home with your bad knee, especially with winter right around the corner.

He wiped his hand off of the grease on an old cloth, “Need a ride home?”

You smiled softly, “Yes, Mister Russo.” And then popped your gum again.

He grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back. “You pop that gum one more time, we’re gonna have a problem.” He said, baring his teeth.

You blew a bubble, popping it.

The audacity.

He growled, kissing you hard, pushing into your mouth, knocking your glasses askew, and making you gasp. He pulled back, with your gum in his mouth, and spit it out in the trash.

“I wasn’t done chewing.” You said indignant.

“You are now, sweetheart.” He smirked, closing the garage down.

You followed him with your cane, “Asshole.”

Billy watched you apply your chapstick that was root beer flavored while he took a wheel off a car. “That actually work, or does it just taste good?”

You huffed, “It works.” You blotted your lips. “Wanna taste, Mister Russo?” You teased, puckering up.

He held up his can of soda, “I’m good.”

You sighed, “Too bad. I would have given you a kiss for a few dollars.” You teased lightly.

“Jesus, in my day it was fifty cents.” He teased back.

“I’m expensive.” You laughed.

Billy huffed, “Clearly.”

You stood in the hall outside your neighbor’s apartment with your cane, knocking on his door. Your leg ached.

He opened it, “Yeah?” He asked admiring you in your sweater dress, the way your hair was done up nice. He wanted to brush it, and play with it.

“My stove won’t work.” You said softly. “Can you come look at it?” You asked, pushing your glasses up, your sweater sleeves too long for your arms, and hung over your hands a little.

“For a few dollars.” He grinned, laughing, when you hit arm.

You ate chocolates, while he bent over your stove, looking at it and mumbling to himself.

You admired him in his tight dark jeans and green sweater. You may or may not have found things around your apartment wrong, just so he’d come over. So you wouldn’t have to be alone. Always alone, friends were hard to come by being disabled. You slowed them down.

You were too shy to ask him to have a movie night or something. And sometimes you just wanted to sit and read a book with your feet in his lap, while he read his own book, enjoying each other's company.

And he caught you at it, too. “You want me to come over, sweetheart, I will. Don’t need an excuse to see a pretty girl.”

Your cheeks heated, and he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

You sat there in his work garage watching him work on some old Chevy or something, you were terrible with cars, admiring how his sweater slid up exposing his naval and the little patch of hair there, you twirled a wrench or whatever it was, in your hand itching to touch him.

You pressed your thighs together, as he slid out from underneath the car, hands looking greasy, his sweater pulled up around his elbows. You imagined him staining your thighs with his handprints as he kissed you.

You imagined running your fingers through his soft hair, always slicked back and faded on the sides, before pulling on it while he kissed you, probably tasting like the soda he drank. And then you imagined pulling on his hair for an entirely different reason.

He looked over at you, smirking as he sipped his soda, fingers stained from working on the car. Uh oh. He must have noticed you gawking. He rolled over to you, sitting at your level on the thing he’d rolled under the car with (you were at a loss for the terminology), in his maroon sweater and black jeans.

“Want somethin’, pretty girl?” Billy asked, looking cocky.

“No.” You said, shyly.

“No?” Billy asked, smiling growing. He leaned closer, and you instinctively leaned in too. “Gotta be a good girl and ask for what you want.” He teased you.

“Mister Russo, you’re being an asshole.” You whined, seriously considering whacking him on the head with the wrench-thingy.

He laughed; “I think we both already know I’m an asshole.” He said, booping you on the nose with his dirty fingers.

“Can I have a kiss?” You asked, sweetly. “I helped give you tools all day. Froze my leg off here.” You said, patting your leg.

“For a few dollars.” He smirked.

You glared, “Fine, I’ll just kiss Paul down the hall.”

Billy huffed, “You think mama’s boy can kiss you right?” Billy asked, rolling closer.

God, he was being an asshole, but Paul was a mama’s boy. He did nothing without his mother’s help.

“Mister Russo.” You whined, “Don’t you wanna taste the root beer on my lips?”

“C’mere.” Billy hummed, and you leaned into him eagerly. He kissed you this time, making your insides melt, his fingers touching your thighs making you sigh. He gripped them, and yanked you closer, careful of your bad leg.

You gasped into his mouth, tasting Diet Mountain Dew on him. The feel of his tongue sliding against yours had desire licking at your insides.

You pulled on his hair roughly, making him groan into your mouth, and an ache built between your thighs.

He pulled back kissing you once, twice, three times before nudging you with his nose. “You taste real sweet, sweetheart. Better than root beer.” He husked.

And then you looked down to see your legs stained with grease, and oil. You grinned inwardly, that had been your intention all along.

“Sorry.” He said, not sounding sorry at all.

You giggled, “Next time I bake, I’m getting flour all over you.” You threatened.

Billy grinned.

God, you made work go by easily.

Later after he drove you home, you shyly invited him into your apartment, and you both ended up on your couch, you laying back, with him laying between your thighs, chin resting on your stomach while you played with his hair, listening to an audiobook.

He looked like a lazy cat, enjoying petting from his favorite human. His eyes were hooded as he watched you, feeling wanted after a childhood unwanted in the group home.

For the first time, you didn’t feel like a burden, alone with only the characters in your books to keep you company.

You didn’t know what you and Billy were, but you were content to let it unfold.

—The Wolf.

—slightly canon!Billy, alluding to oral (f receiving), implied poly, alcohol, drunk reader.

—526 words.

—I haven’t written in a long time. I felt a little inspired, so I wrote. :) I’ll tag a few who might be interested. If you don’t see yourself tagged, it’s because I can’t remember my taglist, lol.

— @e-dubbc11 @kayhi808 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @snowkestrel @aoi-targaryen @terry2227 @firexfate @danzer8705

You drowsily watched him work at his desk, leaning your chin down on your arms, feeling jittery. You probably shouldn’t have drank that wine with your antidepressants. “Sometimes I think Anvil is what you love the most. More’n me and Frankie.” You slurred, drunk from the wine he’d given you, and feeling like you’d stepped into a hot bath. The fire cracked in the background, light flickering in the dark room.

Billy leaned back in his chair, clicking his pen, dark eyes watching you. He reached across the desk, a finger curling around your hair. “It’s proof of how far I’ve come.” He said, voice low, making a fire burn deep in your belly. God, you wanted him. In every way, you wanted to devour him like the wolf in the woods.

“But Billy, we love you. Is it really worth everything?” You asked, taking another sip, sinking deeper into the chair, his answer wrapping around you;

“I loved my ma. Where did it get me?” His voice was sharp, as bared his teeth. A pin drop could be heard, and the wind blew outside, making you cold somehow despite the warmth of the fire.

“I could love you.” It was quiet, but he heard you as he pulled back, dark eyes like chips of onyx.

“It doesn’t matter if you love me. You’re mine.” The clock chimed midnight.

“And you’re mine and Frankie’s.” You said, shifting, the chair creaking underneath you. You remembered recently sharing a bed with Frank and Billy, nestled between them while they smoked. You felt an ache between your thighs even now, the smell of Billy’s cologne and nicotine.

Billy fidgeted with the pen, a frown between his eyes, and his lashes fanning over his cheekbones.

The room was dim, casting harsh shadows across his face. He dropped the pen and it rolled across the desk. He grabbed his glass of whiskey, Tennessee Honey, and finished it off. He looked at you over the glass. “There’s no such thing as fairytales. That shit is for the storybooks.”

“But maybe in the fairytale Red Riding Hood gets eaten, and she’s happy for it.” You said, wide eyed, and eager.

“And I’m the wolf, right?” He set the glass down, admiring how you pressed your thighs together under his hot gaze.

“Billy, who says you’re the wolf?” You said giggling, and he couldn’t tell if it was the wine. “I can eat you when you visit your mother in that home you keep her in. When you keep her—“

Billy clicked his tongue. “Careful. You’re clever and I like you, but my ma is off limits.” He said through his teeth.

“Oh, Mister Russo, won’t you keep me and Frankie locked up, too?” You continued, unruffled.

He closed his laptop, and stood up moving around the desk. He fisted your hair, “Alright, little bird. Let’s go to bed. Maybe if you’re good, I’ll eat that pussy.”

You laughed, standing up, running for the stairs, looking over your shoulder, beckoning him. Your hips swayed, taking the first step, and then laughed again racing up the stairs, Billy hot on your heels.

And hell on his.

It’s nearly been two years that I’ve been working on this. It’s the one piece that I wrote that I actually like, and to find that some people have come back and read it again is stunning. Thank you for everyone who has supported me. Maybe someday I will come back to writing. I want to, but I’m really burnt out. I’ve been writing constantly with an update a day since 2021. So right now, I’m just relaxing.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

It’s a strange juxtaposition between the cold blooded killer, and the sweet girl who sought refuge in him.

And all of my devotion turns violent - boyish by Japanese Breakfast

x

And I’d be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice - talk by Hozier

x

Evil is a point of view...God kills, and so shall we; indiscriminately...for no creatures under God are as we are, none so like Him as ourselves. - Lestat, Interview with the Vampire

x

I struggled with some demons, they were middle class and tame. I didn’t know I had permission to murder and to maim. - Leonard Cohen, You Want It Darker

x

Killing must feel good to God too, He does it all the time. And are we not created in His image? -Hannibal.

Billy comes home to you after killing a man.

Billy wins you a stuffy.

Waiting

Fear of the Dark

Promise

Lavender

Restart

How I’m Imagining You

Billy has a nightmare.

Sunshine

Billy has a night out.

Whiskey and the Devil

Tutus

Shared

Soft

Bloody

Someone threatens you. Billy sets them straight.

You crave Billy’s love.

A beating heart of stone.

You look at Billy like he’s God.

Billy contemplates his effect on your soul.

The Dreadful Need in the Devotee

You wait for Billy to come home.

Birthday

Stronger Without

Into the Darkness

Billy realizes the truth of his feelings.

You see a painting of Christ crucified. It sparks a discussion with Billy.

You ask Billy about his first kill.

Billy craves your love.

Someone gets into the penthouse.

Play

Billy and Frank spar.

Remember Me

Curtis warns Billy.

Bullseye

You defend Billy.

You discuss anecdotes with Billy.

Blue Moon

Billy has another nightmare.

Mulled Wine & Ham.

Billy’s mother dies.

Billy cleans his Ka-bar. You discuss.

You and Billy are caught in the rain.

Billy ends of biker harassing you.

Providence.

Billy comes home from a trip.

Extras;

Playlist.

Moodboard.

A beating heart of stone.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble

Sexism/misogyny, blood, canon typical violence, dark themes, your media consumption is your responsibility, protective!Billy, fem!reader.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

516 words, reposted with edits, fleshing out Billy’s feelings a little more.

“You know, Russo. Your girl sure is sweet, the hostess with the mostess,” he said, referring to how you’d served him, and other guests last weekend with a cheerful smile on your face, never once spilling the drinks.

He could see why Russo liked you, kind and soft. “Not very pretty, but it would be a shame if something happened to her, being a woman. I could protect her better. I got more money.” His competitor said, flashing his yellowed teeth in a grin, and drinking a beer in Billy’s kitchen. They had been talking business, or rather he’d been trying to swindle Billy.

“I’ll give you twenty percent for her.” He said, leaning on the counter. Like you were for sale. “A deal for an orphan like you.”

Billy felt a rage that someone would threaten you, diminish you as helpless because you were a woman, sexist fuck, and then try to take you from him. You were his. The only person he cared about besides the Castles. He gnashed his teeth together, fingers tightening on his beer bottle. He looked down as Elias set his fingers down on the counter, a gaudy family ring on his finger.

Before Elias could blink, Billy grabbed a butcher knife out of the wooden dock, and slammed the knife down on his fingers calmly, slicing them off knuckle down, a single minded purpose to send a message.

Elias howled, as he made an awful mess, bleeding everywhere, grabbing his hand looking at what remained in horror.

Billy grabbed a bag and some ice, putting his fingers in it, before handing it to Elias. “Go get your fingers put back on. But next time you threaten my girl? I’ll throw them in the Hudson.” He bared his teeth at Elias.

“You’re fucking crazy! I’ll get you for this, Russo.” Elias shouted, holding his bloody hand, his face twisted in an ugly scowl.

Billy only grinned, dark eyes like pits. He drank his beer, watching Elias walk out, carrying his fingers in the bag, meaning to wait in the building’s lobby for an ambulance.

He cleaned the blood up in his kitchen, the mess itching his brain, something fierce. He wondered if he was capable of loving you with how bitter and bruised his heart was, from people who were supposed to love and care for him.

He scrubbed the counter, thinking about how he’d initially wanted to be needed. And your softness made him believe in good things like tenderness. And he’d wanted that for himself, and so he’d encouraged your love, indulging in you. But then with each taste of you, he hungered for more.

And then, he’d gotten what he’d chased all his life, affection. He was wanted for who he was. But sometimes he didn’t know what to do with it, fumbling in the dark to return your feelings.

But he realized as he threw the dirty cloth in the wash, that he'd burn his heart out of himself just to keep you warm, and that was enough.

Attachments be damned, but goddamn he liked you.

x

Tags; @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

Mulled wine & ham

A Monsters in the Dark Christmas Drabble

Christmas fluff, mentions of dark themes (prevalent throughout this series), possessive behavior, alcohol consumption, bust mostly just fluff, fem!reader.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

737 words.

x

He watched you drinking too much at a holiday party that night in December, playing footsies under the table with him, unbeknownst to all the guests.

He’d smirked, sipping his mulled wine as you snitched ham off his plate, and then another piece, and another still.

“Oi, Billy. You gonna let her steal all your ham?” asked one of the men, drunk and on his third plate of food, looking curiously at you.

Billy hummed, not liking the man’s gaze on you at all, and gave him a dark look. “I don’t care for ham, at all actually. It’s too fatty and salty.” He said as your foot climbed up his calf, and you stole some mashed potatoes with your fork.

“I’m sorry, Wilbur. But I can’t resist the taste.” You mumbled, before biting off another piece of ham you’d taken.

Billy took another drink, and almost choked on his wine at your words. God, you made these holiday parties for Anvil worth going to. He wasn’t bored out of his mind with you here. He saw several women wanting to approach him, by the way they kept peeking at him and giggling like school girls. A year ago he would have happily indulged in it, but he was entirely caught up in you, especially after you’d killed Arthur. You’d defended him when his own mother, and others hadn’t.

He’d always grown disinterested in women after a week. He was sure some had loved him, but he loved you. Because you wanted him, because you were soft, and devoted, and made him realize the world wasn’t always such a dark, and evil place. Because he could be his true self with you, and still receive your love. He didn’t have to put up the facade of a good man, because you wanted him to be entirely himself, otherwise he wouldn’t be worth half as much to you.

The Tiffany bracelet he bought you last week, was shining on your wrist in the light, creating prisms. The only reason you wore it was for him. You couldn’t care less about material things, which made it hard when he wanted to spoil you, to take care of you.

And he’d wanted to care for you, he didn’t think you needed to work, but you put your foot down on that. You liked your independence, and if something went wrong you’d be stranded with nowhere to go.

Billy had reluctantly agreed, but he knew nothing was going to change. You were his.

You liked working at the library anyway, affectionately complaining about the cranky old lady who worked there.

“I’ll probably end up like her,” you laughed, “with five cats.”

That was when he seriously decided to keep you. He wanted your five cats, attachments be damned.

“I want to grab your hair, and kiss you.” You said, watching him, feet still playing with his legs.

Billy uncrossed his legs, “Why don’t you?” He asked, leaning in, voice husky.

“I don’t think your fan club would approve.” You laughed, eyes flicking down to his mouth.

Billy huffed, “The only fan club I want is yours.” He said, leaning back.

You smiled, “Oh, Billy. Don’t tempt me. You might find yourself stalked.” You said, drinking more of the awful wine.

Billy didn’t get a chance to respond.

“Isn’t he handsome?” One of the women laughed, looking at you, eyes glazed. Drunk, probably.

You stole a piece of his pumpkin pie, “And smart. And ambitious. A tactician. Resourceful. A protector. And sweet when he’s not being an asshole.” You said softly, spraying a bunch of whipped cream on a single bite of pumpkin pie.

Billy adjusted his tie, feeling uncomfortable. You saw him through the facade, you didn’t see him just for his beauty, but everything else, too.

The woman stared. She hadn’t thought of those things, she just saw him superficially. Just another pretty face, as they say. She ended up drifting away and Billy let out a sigh of relief. “Janice. Every office party she hits on me.” He whispered, pouring himself more wine.

“I bet she’s the president of your fan club.” You laughed, and then paused. “Billy should take me home, so we can have a hot bath together with some better wine.”

Billy’s lips turned up. “You don’t like mulled wine?”

You curled your nose, and he kissed your mouth. “I thought you’d never ask, sweet pea.”

x

Tags; @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

Tutus.

+roommate au, fluff, possessive behavior, reader is ADHD coded, kissing, fem!reader+

I realized I had described a Calvin Klein cologne that did not exist, so I did more research into what some of them smell like. My apologies.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

&&&&

He fisted your hair, “Asked you a question, sweet pea.” You had been distracted by how good he smelled, like something spicy, his cologne probably. It was entirely Billy.

His new roommate was always distracted, however. His fingers tightened in your hair, wanting to make you his, to kiss you in a way that left no room for question on who you belonged to.

He was taken with you almost violently. By your tenderness.

You raised your eyes to his, so rarely you gave eye contact to people. You didn’t like them looking into your soul, and you didn’t like looking into theirs. You always ended up focusing on the whites of their eyes, or maybe if that person had a god complex, or if they were thinking about touching you. People liked to approach you, and touch you without asking.

But you gave Billy eye contact, always drawn into his dark gaze that stripped you down. He was the only person who could touch you, too, besides Curtis. They made you feel safe, the only two who didn’t make you feel like ripping your skin off. “Huh?” You asked, tilting your head.

He laughed, “Text me when you get home from Curtis, okay?”

You looked at him sheepishly, “You smell good,” you said, leaning closer.

“Calvin Klein.” He answered, as you sniffed his neck.

“Can I wear some?” You asked sweetly.

“Men's cologne?” He raised an eyebrow, fingers still tangled in your hair.

“Mhm. Wanna smell like you.” You hummed, eyes hooded.

“Sure, sweet pea.”

You didn’t answer his previous question, kissing him instead. But you’d been kissing him ever since he’d come home with your favorite tea last week. Apparently the way to your heart was tea.

He smiled into your mouth, unable to resist your want of him.

Providence.

A Monsters in the Dark drabble.

((blood, canon typical violence, anti religious sentiment, religious imagery, mentions of Billy’s assault by Arthur, abandonment issues, idolatry, fem!reader))

A little dark, I guess. But I was feeling dark.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

&&&&

If you are the dealer, I’m out of the game.

If you are the healer it means I’m broken and lame.

If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame.

—Leonard Cohen, You Want It Darker.

x

Billy had learned long ago God didn’t exist, and if He did, then He didn’t care what happened to him, or about his suffering.

Billy had survived because of himself, not because of providence or some shit. He’d defended himself against Arthur, an eleven year old boy fighting against a predator. No one went after Arthur, either. “Just a misunderstandin’,” he'd said. A misunderstanding that left Billy’s shoulder ruined.

He’d built Anvil from the ground up himself. With blood, sweat, and tears, even though he’d been orphaned, with virtually nothing.

He moved through the underground facility, hearing his men shouting, and gunshots ringing out. He looked around the corner, shooting a man that was coming at him with a knife, but he didn’t die easily.

Billy unsheathed his hidden blade, running the man through, feeling his blade cut through flesh and bone, and sinew.

Billy had seen a lot of death, and realized everyone was equal in death, everyone eventually faced it, and no one was above it.

Death was the only god, and He did not discriminate.

But when Billy looked at you he saw salvation. He brought your fingers up to kiss each one, his hands were stained with blood, but you looked past the bloody carnage of his own making.

You saw God, as you moved closer to him, eyes soft and looking at him like he imagined Penelope did when she saw Odysseus, devoted and in love.

Yours was the only salvation he desired.

Tags: @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

Restart.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Warnings; angst, mentions of Billy’s bad childhood and reader’s, language, fear of attachments, kissing, possessive behavior, fem!reader.

I’ve rewritten this more times than I can count, so I’m posting it for better or for worse.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

And I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart.

You knew you shouldn’t have been, but you were snooping in his office. You wanted to know where he went every week. It wasn’t your business, but curiosity killed the cat.

You ended up finding a picture of a woman and what presumably was Billy as a child. He was cute, you thought unable to tear your gaze away from the photo. He had her eyes, but neither were smiling in the photo.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Billy stood at the door looking thunderous.

“I just—“ you began, head snapping up.

“Get. Out.” He snarled, cutting you off, snatching the photo out of your hand, his face contorted in fury.

“Wanted to know Billy.” You whispered, brushing past him, your throat burning with the effort to keep from crying.

“By invading my privacy?” He seethed from behind you. You sniffed, and god Billy almost pulled you into his arms, knowing what you’d been through with your father.

But he didn’t need or want your pity.

He was going to kick you out, you just knew it. You began making contingency plans. You wouldn’t be homeless again with nowhere to go, you swore.

x

“Billy’s mad at me,” you whispered into your tea, sitting with Curtis.

“He’ll cool off. He just doesn’t want your pity. Billy’s very independent that way.” Curtis said, having coffee himself.

“I don’t, though. My daddy didn’t want me, either. If anything I felt understood, but I’ve gone and blown it.” You said, keeping out that you’d been sleeping with Billy.

Your chest ached knowing you’d have to sleep on your own tonight. That the memories of your father would likely resurface, scaring you. You chewed your lips until they were bloody.

Curtis extended his leg, he looked like he was in pain. “Don't chew your lips,” he scolded, lightly dabbing at the blood there. You had a habit of worrying at your lips, something Curtis often scolded you for, “Want me to talk to him?” He asked, pulling the cloth away from your lips.

“No, it’ll make it worse.” You said, finishing your tea.

Curtis hummed, “It’ll be okay, Billy’s stubborn but I can tell he cares about you, even if he doesn’t say. He’s not good with emotions.” He explained sipping his coffee.

You hoped Curtis was right, because you’d grown to care for Billy, even knowing he wasn’t entirely good, and made his living out of violence.

You trusted him, and even as angry as he got, he hadn’t struck you. He’d been controlled.

You only wished his anger hadn’t hurt so much. A curse of feeling everything strongly, everything felt so deeply.

x

Billy couldn’t fucking sleep. The image of your eyes filled with tears stuck in his head, that he’d caused them. But more than that he missed your warm body next to his, the feeling of your even breaths, and soft snores, the way you played with the scar at his hip before you went to sleep every night. You always had a fixation with it.

You were the only woman he’d let into his bed. It was his one safe space, but he hadn’t been able to turn you away that night you’d begged to sleep with him.

And now he was attached to you. The very thing he hated, because it meant he could be vulnerable again. Sometimes he wanted to cut his heart out, it would make life so much easier.

The woman who was supposed to love him, had abandoned him. The most important relationship he’d ever have in his formative years. His fingers fisted his duvet seeing your sweet face in his mind again.

But god he liked you. He still had the lavender under his pillow that you got him.

“Fuck this,” he hissed, throwing his duvet off. He wanted you in any capacity you’d have him. There was nothing to think about.

x

You laid in bed that night in the guest room, trying not to see your father in the shadows as you usually did, his shadow still hanging over you, frightening you years after his attempt on your life.

You hid under the covers letting out a shaky breath. He’s not here, you told yourself. He can’t get you. You chanted over and over, but a tingle of fear trickled down your spine, making it hard to breathe.

You screamed when you heard someone knock on your doorframe. You peeked out from the covers, “Billy?” You asked, shaking.

“Who else?” He asked not unkindly, his hair mussed from laying on it. “Come to bed,” he said hoarsely, as though he hadn’t gotten much sleep, either.

You hesitated and he ached at your reluctance, “I’m not mad anymore, sweet pea.” He said seeing you shake, before you threw off your duvet, and followed him into his room. When you climbed in, he pulled you against him, stroking your spine, burying his face in your hair. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he rasped, surprising himself. He rarely apologized. But he realized he valued you.

You kissed his mouth, “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have been snooping around.” You mumbled against his lips.

Billy’s fingers dug into your hips, “I just wanna love Billy. Every part of him, even the parts he’d rather forget.” You continued, trying to make him understand.

Billy ached at that. His own mother hadn’t loved him, how could you? You kissed him again, soft and slow making him groan softly, tasting the toothpaste on your tongue.

And just like that the ache in Billy’s heart eased in the wake of your kisses, sweet and yielding.

“You’re mine.” He rasped, making your heart leap with hope.

“You promise?” You asked softly, minty breath blowing over his face.

“I promise.” He said, kissing your forehead, before tucking you under his chin.

And after hours of fighting for sleep, you both fell asleep at two in the morning.

Promise.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Apparently Tumblr didn’t like the image I chose. It won’t show up in the tags, so trying again.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

Billy’s fingers latched onto your wrist, pulling you through the crowd in the fairgrounds, twirling you a bit, and making you laugh delighted by his playfulness. “You’re so pretty, sweet pea. I bet you taste sweet from all that cotton candy.”

You ducked your head, fingers still laced with his, smiling softly. He nudged you with his shoulder. You looked up at him, and he kissed you. He’d only kissed you that night you’d crawled into his bed crying, and even though you crawled in every night after that, he’d maintained a distance.

You sighed into his mouth, pulling him closer with your hand. He tasted like the funnel cakes he’d eaten. His kiss was soft, and slow, taking his time with you. Your ex had never treated you this good, always angry at something, at the world.

“I wanna go on the Carousel next.” You said, pulling away breathless.

“Sure, baby.” He said against your mouth.

x

He watched you ride the painted ponies, the taste of you still on his tongue, lingering. “She never got to enjoy stuff like this,” said Curtis, coming up beside him. “Her father made sure of that.”

Billy understood that; he'd never had a childhood, either. “It’s hard, always having to be the adult among shitheads who should be the adults.” He said, looking at how pretty you looked in your dress, and a smile on your face when you spotted him in the crowd.

He’d give you everything you never had. And the promise startled him. He’d never given a shit about many people outside of the Castles, but it was hard not to like you.

x

You crawled into his bed that night, and he rolled over tonight, facing you, lips brushing your forehead. You sighed sweetly. “I had fun today, Billy.” You murmured into the dark.

“Yeah?” He husked, fingers going to your hips.

“I really liked when you kissed me.” You said boldly, surprising him, as you kissed the corner of his mouth, softly.

Billy’s fingers dug into your cheeks, kissing you hard, tongue pushing into your mouth, he could taste the toothpaste you’d brushed with that night.

“You’re too sweet, baby.” He rasped, trying to pull away from you, his heart ached at how you only followed him, scooting closer to him.

“None of that I’m too bad for you shit. It’s cliché.” You said firmly, making him laugh at how ferocious you tried to be. Like a mouse attempting to fight a cat.

He nudged your nose with his, “I’m going to hell.” He muttered.

You snuggled under his chin, content.

And Billy didn’t have the heart to drive you away.

How I’m Imagining You.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Warnings; sexual fantasy, sexism, misogynistic ideas, religious/spiritual abuse, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

You were drawn to Billy like a moth to a flame, but your strict religious upbringing made shame descend, making your neck prickle as though God himself was watching. As though he’d cared about some nobody girl hung up on her roommate.

For a while, you allowed yourself to indulge in sin, as you laid in his bed and fantasized about his kiss, his mouth on you, and his beard scratching your thighs. How his cock would feel in your hands, like velvet steel.

The way he’d taste on your tongue, the feel of him in your mouth, heavy on your tongue, how he’d make your jaw ache in the best way. How he’d fuck your throat.

“You’re ruined for me, aren’t you baby?” You could hear him say in your head, making you press your thighs together. He’d laugh; “I haven’t even touched you yet.”

Your cheeks were hot, and you ached between your thighs, desperate for his touch.

“Where do you want me, pretty girl?”

He was your hallelujah, amen. You wanted to worship him; you were sure he’d make you see God.

Your foster mother always warned of passion, of it snares.

“Why buy the cow if he can get the milk for free?”

As though women were cattle to be sold, a commodity. As though marriage was all they were good for. Pleasure was for men, childbearing was for women. You remembered the first time you touched yourself, she’d caught you and beat you with a rod.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child.” She used to walk around saying, making sure all the children behaved.

His bedroom door opened and you jumped, “Want some takeout, baby?” Billy asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You looked like you’d gotten caught with your hand in the cookie jar. You were supposed to be taking a nap.

You nodded, cheeks warm.

You left his room with him, aching.

But that was what you got for thinking impure thoughts.

The self flagellation felt good.

Lavender.

A Drabble set in the Monsters in the Dark universe.

Warnings; grumpy!Billy, dark themes, and hints of abuse from reader’s father, kissing, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

You came in excitedly, seeing Billy waiting at the door for you, arms crossed, “Billy—“

“It’s been raining cats and dogs outside. Where the fuck were you?” He growled, his worry translating to anger. He was not at all used to worrying after people.

You pulled off your coat. You were soaked through, dripping on the floor. “Getting you this,” you said softly, unconcerned with his temper, soft with him as always, pulling out a bundle of lavender. “It promotes sleep, if put under your pillows.” You said.

Fuck. You were so sweet.

His cheeks flushed, and he looked down. Your socks and everything were soaked from the downpour.

“C’mon.” He said shortly, making you follow him down the hall and into his room. Billy knew you were disorganized and had forgotten to do your laundry.

He pulled out a sweater and some sweatpants. “Put these on,” he said, before leaving the room.

While he waited his heart raced. He wasn’t sleeping well at all lately, and being a Marine he’d learned to go on very little sleep. But sometimes he wanted to sleep without the nightmares.

He usually ended up sitting up in the chair by the window, drinking whiskey.

But you’d thought of him, and spent your own money on him. It made him ache.

He peeked in, and saw your back as you put his sweater on. You were scarred terribly, it looked like you’d been stabbed. You turned as you pulled it down, smiling at him.

“Who hurt you?” Billy asked, trying not to be so aggressive, but whoever hurt you that badly deserved pain beyond comparison.

He helped you tie his sweatpants, they were falling off your hips, you watched him frowning, and wished to smooth the lines on his face.

You leaned against Billy after he’d tied them for you, “My daddy didn’t like me. But—“ you dug around in your bag and pulled out some chamomile tea. “This can help with sleep, too.” You said, watching his expression.

He was stunned. Most people weren’t thoughtful, they didn’t think of Billy. But you’d always thought of him, always wanting to take care of him, or dote on him.

But he hated your father for the scarring on you, he could only imagine what he’d done to make those scars.

Billy’s fingers cupped the back of your neck, pressing a kiss to your mouth, making you press closer eagerly.

“Thank you, sweet pea.” He said, hoarsely.

You smiled softly, “I can make you the tea before bed.” You said against his mouth.

“I’d like that.” He said, surprised by how violently he’d been taken with you, how badly he wanted you. You weren’t what he usually went for.

But when your eyes lit up, because he was going to let you make him some tea, he felt possessive of you. He kissed you again, and you encouraged him with your sweet sounds, the way your fingers tangled in his hair.

He was well and truly fucked.

Bullseye.

A Monsters in the Dark Drabble.

Warnings; alcohol consumption, jealousy, possessive behavior, kissing, fluff, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

Billy hadn’t expected you to take him so seriously.

He’d leaned down during a night at the bar and he said in your ear; “If you can hit the bullseye, you can sleep in my bed. Whenever you want.”

Your eyes had immediately lit up. “How many tries do I get?” You asked.

“As long as you hit the bullseye before we leave.” He said, amused at how determined you looked.

You’d been practicing all night. He watched you aim, as he sipped his beer. He was confident you wouldn’t be able to do it.

“C’mon, pretty girl. Shoot.” Billy said after a few minutes. You did after a few nervous glances at him, you shot for it, missing by quite a bit.

He laughed at your little whine, “Try again, baby.” He said, unaware of a group of girls watching him. But you were aware.

You missed again, too busy worrying they were going to approach him, and take him from you. You knew he wasn’t yours, but you wanted him to be.

Billy set his beer down, standing behind you with his hands on your hips, “Focus,” he hummed.

“Those girls like you,” you mumbled back.

“I’m with you right now,” he said, “Now, try again.” He said adjusting your posture.

You liked the feel of his hands on you, burning you with their heat through your dress. You knew Billy wasn’t exactly a good person, but like a moth to a flame, you were drawn to him.

You took a deep breath, focusing on how you’d get to be in his bed every night if you wanted. You threw the dart, and were shocked when you hit the bullseye.

You squealed, spinning around and wrapping your arms around Billy’s waist. “Did ya mean it? Can I sleep in your bed?” You asked, your doe eyes looking at him softly.

“Yeah, sweet pea. You can sleep with me.” He hummed brushing your forehead with his lips, not sure how to feel about it. Billy was hard pressed to let anyone in, especially women. He’d been hurt, and used, and thrown away.

But hunger for you gnawed at him, until he was sure it would consume him, and he’d taint you.

His fingers dug into your hips, noticing a man watching you.

Fuck off, thought Billy, pulling you closer, glaring over your head at him.

“If Billy doesn’t want me to, I can sleep in my room, I don’t wanna overstay my welcome, and-“ Your rambling drew Billy’s eyes back to you, and he cut you off with a kiss, biting your lip and making you whimper.

“Shut up, sweet pea. I don’t mind sharin’ my bed with you.” He murmured. And maybe that’s what scared him. That he liked sharing it with you.

Impatiently waited every night for you to climb in, the anxiety of what it meant if you didn’t.

Fuck.

But hadn’t he been the one who’d silently decided you were his? He had, and it was that moment standing with you in the bar, he realized he was more yours than you were his.

Monsters in the Dark #24

Warnings; implied sex, language, dark themes, fluff, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

It was late when Billy got home, around two in the morning. The penthouse was quiet, the moon filtering into the living room through the curtains.

He threw his duffle down, kicking off his boots and moving to the cabinet to pour himself a whiskey. He untwisted the lid on the bottle. What a shitshow of a trip, fucking politicians.

He paused in his anger to notice a wrapped package on the counter in the kitchen, and moved to inspect it, as you came down the hall, “Billy?” You asked softly.

Fuck, he’d missed your voice.

Billy dropped the bottle of whiskey, forgetting the package, and moving over to you, and picking you up, carrying you down the hall, his mouth on yours.

He was home.

x

Billy held you, content post coitus, fingers stroking your spine. “Missed you.” He husked in your ear, making you smile.

“Missed you too, Billy.” You kissed under his ear, making him hum.

“Did Billy have a good trip?” You asked, as he shrugged;

“I hate dealing with bureaucrats.” He said. “I wish I could take you with me.”

“Billy would never get anything done.” You laughed.

“I don’t give a fuck.” He said roughly, nose skimming your collarbone.

A pause, and then; “What was that little package on the countertop?” Billy asked, remembering it suddenly.

You looked shy suddenly, and slowly moved to get out of bed, throwing on his shirt.

Billy realized it was for him. His heart thudded, so rarely in the receiving end of gifts. Women usually expected him to do the gift giving. Billy didn’t even give a fuck what it was. Just that you’d thought of him. But why? Was there a special occasion he’d missed?

You came back in with the little package, crawling onto the bed next to him. “I saw this, and thought of you.” You murmured.

Billy unwrapped it to reveal a little black plastic toy car. “It reminded me of Billy’s Wraith. And I know he likes cars, so…”

Billy felt like there was something caught in his throat, as he looked up at you. “Thank you.” He managed out.

“I’m sorry, it’s not much—“

Billy cut you off with a hard kiss, “I love it.” He said roughly.

You smiled softly.

x

Billy stood with his hands in his pockets, calmly and coldly taking out his opponent’s team in the simulation, directing his team with the cool precision of a hardened Marine. The government official watched wondering what sort of man Billy was, and that he was glad he was on their side.

He’d make a devastating enemy.

Billy guided the official to his office afterward to sign some paperwork. Billy was intimidating, and had no interest in small talk. His office wasn’t warm and inviting, but he didn’t expect that from Billy, who pulled the papers out of a drawer at his desk.

That’s when he saw it. A little plastic black toy car sitting there. So playful in an otherwise cold office. “Kids?” He asked, nodding towards the car.

A fond smile made its way on Billy’s face. “My girl.” He said, handing him the forms to sign.

He looked stunned, both at Billy’s soft expression, and the car. A far cry from the cold tactician a few minutes ago. But he had a feeling Billy would spill blood for you from his own observations.

Shivering, he signed the papers, and afterwards his eyes drifted back to the toy car, and Billy followed his gaze. “She special?” He asked.

Billy grinned, and it was almost threatening. “She’s the kind of girl you’d kill for.” Billy answered.

The man swallowed.

Monsters in the Dark #23

Canon typical violence, blood, kissing, language, a little bit of vaginal fingering, fem!reader.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

Main Masterlist

x

Billy was just too beautiful in a savage way, covered in blood from some way-too-handsy biker at the bar. He wiped his hands on a cloth, watching you.

You didn’t know why you were suddenly so wet. Aching desperately for him to have you right there in the alley. Billy’s actions weren’t righteous. They were downright ungodly. But here you were, burning with desire for him.

“Billy didn’t need to kill him.” You said, trying to keep your breathing even.

“He shouldn’t have touched you.” Billy said seething, leaning down to eye level with you, your pupils were dilated.

“How would Billy feel if I killed one of the many girls that touch him?” You ask, and your spunk was sweet in the eyes of the deadly panther.

He smiled widely, “Oh, baby. You know that’s just foreplay to me.” He purred.

You chewed your lip, and Billy’s eyes zeroed in on the action. He suddenly grabbed a fistful of your hair, and pulled you closer, his lips inches from yours, waiting.

You whined.

“Gotta ask for what you want, baby.” He husked, breath fanning across your face.

“Please, Billy?”

His mouth pressed to yours, hard and insistent, beard tickling your skin.

You clung to his bloody sweater, rubbing your thighs together, aching still.

Your lips were swollen when he pulled back, a wicked smirk on his face. “You look pretty, baby. Well kissed, and sweet eyed. Face covered in the blood of my enemies.” He teased, wiping blood off your chin, and cheeks.

You pulled him in for another sweeter kiss.

He smiled into it as you pulled on his belt. Billy pulled back, fingers sliding up your dress, touching you. He hummed. “Did my show of violence make you this wet, pretty girl?” He asked, one arm braced against the brick wall behind you, voice low and deep.

You trembled. “Uh huh. It’s all your fault.” You said softly.

“I guess I better get you home, so I can take care of you.” He said, licking his fingers clean.

You couldn’t wait for him to ruin you all over again.

Bloody

a Monsters in the Dark Drabble;

—blood, violence—

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

The first time you got a glimpse of Billy’s tendencies for violence, was when he came home one evening covered in blood. You’d come bounding around the corner to greet him, only to stop dead in your tracks.

You moved closer to him, Billy tracking your every move, like you were a scared rabbit who was going to run.

“Are you afraid, baby?” Billy asked, moving towards you, in his tactical gear, pulling his gloves off. You were in only his t-shirt.

“No, Billy.” You said honestly, surprised by how much his visage excited you, made you want to kiss him, taste the tang of blood on his tongue.

He reminded you of your mother, fierce. The last time you saw her she was covered in blood, defending you. For you violence equated to love in some way. You didn’t ask why he was covered in blood, who he’d killed, because you were so sure Billy would never hurt you, and that you were selfish no matter what he thought.

“Yeah?” He asked, stalking towards you, baring his teeth. “You like monsters?” He taunted softly.

“Billy’s my monster.” You said, pressed against him, fingers clinging to the fabric of gear.

Billy’s mouth was on yours, making sigh, wrapping your arms around Billy, staining your shirt red with a dead man’s blood.

“I could clean you up,” you said, when he pulled back, kicking off his boots.

He gave you a wry grin. “Sure, sweetheart.”

Monsters in the Dark #22

Fluff, mentions of a hard childhood, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist

x

It was pouring down but all you were aware of was Billy’s hard body pressed to your back under the awning, as he lifted his coat over your heads. You were struck with the feeling of warmth and safety, despite the cool spring rain.

He reminded you of your mother, hard and unforgiving, but always looking out for you, even as something as simple as being caught in the rain. “You’re going to catch a cold, silly girl.” She’d scold you, making you soak your feet.

You always complained, but you sorely missed that now. Billy’s heat radiated behind you, and you pressed back against him, eager for his strength.

“Shoulda brought an umbrella, sweet pea.” Billy scolded you.

“I didn’t check the weather.” You mumbled.

He kissed underneath your ear, “Silly girl.”

You looked up at him as he echoed the words of your mother, feeling closer to him than ever. He was the only person besides Curtis and your mother who had ever loved you.

“Ready?” Billy husked into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You looked up at him, as he looked down at you. You nodded subtly, and you both darted out into the rain, both laughing when you both got soaked anyway, down to your socks.

You wished the rain could wash away your past, and all the pain that accompanied it.

Maybe it could wash you clean.

Maybe it could be the start of something new.

Something new with him.

Monsters in the Dark #21

Nightmares, ptsd, mentions of canon typical violence, dark themes, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack

x

You were drowsy that night, curled against Billy while he cleaned his ka-bar. You watched him, eyelids drooping. “How many people has Billy killed with that?” You asked, scooting closer.

“Too many to count.” Billy said, wiping the blade. He looked dangerous holding it, the way the blade gleamed in his hand. The casual way he handled it, and twirled it.

It excited you.

“I’m a monster.” Billy said, though not self deprecating at all. He sounded darkly amused.

“Billy’s my favorite monster.” You said, playing with his sweater, twirling a loose thread around your finger.

“Oh, baby. You’re my favorite angel.” He said, pinching your cheeks.

You giggled, before yawning halfway through your giggle. “Time for bed, sweet pea?” He asked, setting his knife down.

“Wanna be with you a little longer.” You said, yawning again.

Billy’s heart burned for you. You reminded him so much of the boy he was; sweet, trusting, loving. He remembered following his mother everywhere, to her annoyance, clinging to her clothes.

Billy wanted to protect your heart. Even from himself.

He kissed your forehead, watching you.

“Sometimes I dream that I’m in those woods again,” you said, “waiting for my mom. And if I look close enough the trees and the branches look like monsters in the dark.” You continued.

Billy listened quietly. It was the first time you had spoken of your nightmares.

“They pull on me, on my clothes, trying to drag me deeper into the woods, tearing at my skin. I always wait for God, but He never comes. But you know who does?” You asked, looking up at him.

Billy swallowed.

“Billy. Billy comes. And I always take his bloody hand, and we go away, away into the darkness. And then, I’m finally safe in his arms.” You said, softly.

Billy crushed you to him, and tucked you under his chin, and his treacherous heart blazed.

You both sat like that for some time, enjoying each other’s company, feeling full there.

There was never going to be a time that Billy wouldn’t come for you.

shared;

Roommates, jealousy, soft!reader, dacryphilia, kissing, drunk!reader, alcohol consumption, fem!reader.

A Drabble set in the Monsters in the Dark universe.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack

x

“I think Billy’s fucking someone,” Karen had said to Maria, who laughed as you all shared wine, whiskey, and takeout.

“When isn’t he?” She asked, grabbing a crab roll. Neither of them seemed to notice you retreat into yourself, drinking heavier than usual, and eating very little. You wanted Billy to yourself, and your stomach was sick at the thought that your roommate would never be yours. Curtis would tell you that you were being a fool, you thought in a drunken haze.

Later that night, you were laying in Billy’s bed. It smelled like him, and you were drunk from all of the wine and whiskey that you’d had, and you were so needy when you were drunk.

You felt the bed shift, and a pair of arms wrapped around your waist from behind. You sniffed, feeling his hard body against yours. Your throat burned from how hard you were trying not to cry.

“Don’t wanna share you,” you complained softly, wiggling in his grip.

Billy reached over you, and turned your face, holding onto your jaw tight. “Baby, who would you have to share me with?” He asked, squeezing you. His brows were drawn together seeing your distress.

You wiggled again, rolling around to face him. He was watching you through dark eyes, looking at you intensely as he usually did. Like he wanted to devour you. And you wanted to let him. To let him have his way with you. You wanted to be his best girl. “Wanna make love to you,” you blurted through tears, heart aching, and instantly regretted it, feeling embarrassment descend. Damn being drunk.

Billy raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?” He husked, tongue darting out to taste your tears, making you whine. It made him feral. God, you were sweet. “Is that what you girls talked about?”

“Yeah.” You whispered feeling your throat constricting, “About who you’re fucking. Don’t wanna share you with some floozy.” You slurred, feeling your heart ache some more. Why did you have to be so jealous of some woman?

“Well, I’m not fucking anyone.” He said, making you relax, but the tears still flowed. It wasn’t from lack of trying, either. But none of the women were you. “Better?” He hummed, thumbs wiping your tears away.

God, he wanted you. More than he should have. You were all he could think about. His sweet, soft, and sensitive girl.

Your heart raced, as he kissed you making you melt against him as his tongue slowly slid against yours. He pulled back, “We’ll make love. But when you’re sober. I want you to remember me when have you.” He husked.

“How could I not remember you?” You whispered, but Billy heard.

Billy’s heart squeezed as you tucked yourself under his chin, and tangled your legs with his.

He was known, and it fucking terrified him.

Monsters in the Dark #20

Death, angst/fluff, dark themes, mentions of abandonment and issues surrounding it, bitterness, kissing, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack

x

The graveyard was cold as winter waned into spring. The ground was muddy, and Billy hated how it ruined his pristine dress shoes.

You were standing next to him, arm wrapped around his elbow as he stared at the fresh grave marker, “Carla Russo,” it read above the dates of her birth and death.

You looked up at him, “Are you sad?” You asked softly, gripping him tighter as you readjust on the soft ground. You were sinking a little.

Billy’s lip curled, “No. She didn’t care about my life, I don’t care about her death. It’s just a relief not to have to pay for her hospital bills.” Billy admitted, a bitter tone to his voice.

He hated that he was so bitter, but once again she had abandoned him, this time by dying. Billy hated that he felt abandoned, he thought he was over this.

But he felt like a boy again, standing at that fire station asking when she was coming back. He wanted to shatter the grave marker. He wanted to hate her, but deep down he knew he’d been hoping up until the day she’d died that she’d want a relationship with him.

I’m a goddamn fool, he thought.

You laid your head on his arm for a moment as you both stood there in silence. The wind blew and Billy wondered silently if she was free from her addiction. A big part of him hoped her soul was trapped here, still in the grips of it.

It seemed too kind for her to receive peace after abandoning her child.

“Billy’s pain could be mine, if he wanted.” You said, drawing his gaze down to you. “I would take it all into me if I could, but I could at least share in it?” You asked sweetly.

Billy swallowed. You were the only reminder of anything good in this cold world. The one thing that made him believe in anything good.

He turned to you, cupping your face in his gloved hands, before kissing you, as if you could share in his pain. And maybe you could, because standing there in the crisp spring morning, he felt just a little bit better with you standing next to him.

When he pulled back, he nudged your nose with his. “You already do, baby.” He squeezed your hand, “Let’s go home. I’m freezing my balls off out here.”

You giggled, “Can we have hot chocolate?” You asked, following him carefully out of the muddy cemetery.

Billy smiled, “Sure, baby.”

His heart felt lighter with you by his side.

Monsters in the Dark #19

Dark themes, ptsd, nightmares, abandonment issues, language, fear, fem!reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack

x

Billy tossed and turned, a cold sweat breaking out over his body. He couldn’t find you. His heart raced, as adrenaline coursed through him. He called for you and called for you. Nothing. He ran around an abandoned looking hotel, frantic. The silence was deafening.

He tried to calm himself, use tactics that they’d taught him in the Marines, but he was too frantic.

Attachments were a weakness, and he’d created his own with you.

Sometimes it looked like you’d ghosted around a corner, but you were never there. All he heard was the whistling of the wind. It was maddening.

Billy woke up gasping for air, and reaching across the bed for you. It was empty.

He wiped sweat from his brow.

Fuck.

What if it was real? What if someone had taken you? He remembered climbing into bed with you, but nothing felt real right now.

He threw the duvet off, bolting out of the bedroom. There you stood in the kitchen at the fridge, a spoon in your mouth as you looked up at him, innocently.

“Billy?” You asked, pulling the spoon out of your mouth.

He moved around the island countertop, and grabbed you, crushing you to him. His heart rate returned to normal, feeling your very real form against him.

“What’s wrong, Billy?” You asked, letting him hold you, peeking up at him.

Billy licked his lips; “Couldn’t find you,” he rasped, clinging to you. “I don’t believe in fairytale endings, life has proven time and again that nothing lasts forever. I know someday we’ll be parted from each other, but I thought it came sooner than I expected.” Billy explained, hating how desperate he sounded. He hated being weak.

“Don’t say that. I’ll fight Heaven and hell itself to make sure we’re together forever. Never gonna let Billy go.” You whispered, clinging to the spoon in your hand, and to him.

God, you made him want to believe in forever. But it had never been proven to Billy. He remembered getting free ice creams from this kind older black man when he was still in the group home. But one day he died because he’d gotten shot accidentally in a drive by.

The one person who cared about Billy had been cruelly ripped from him. Billy just knew someday you’d be ripped from him just like Mr. Avery.

That his enemies would either kill you, or old age or illness would take you, or maybe you’d just leave someday, tired of him.

Billy kissed you, fingers digging into your hips. “You swear?” He rasped.

“I swear. I’m with Billy until only death parts us.” You said, and waved the spoon in his face. “Want some ice cream?” You grinned trying to lighten the mood.

Billy smiled, relaxing. “Yeah, baby.” He hummed, “I’d love some.”

So there the two of you ended up, at half past two in the morning, sharing ice cream.

For now, Billy was content not to think about the past or the future, but to just enjoy the moment with you.

For now.

blue moon.

( inspired by this YouTube video )

( a Monsters in the Dark Drabble. )

( @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack )

x

It was raining, and an oldies station he knew you loved was playing as you laid curled in his bed, warm and sleepy while he smoked. His scent of vanilla and clean linen surrounded you.

His fingers touched your head sitting on the side of the bed, “Billy,” you mumbled, eyes fluttering as you reached for him with your eyes closed, wanting more of his touch.

He chuckled, knuckles brushing your cheek. “Sleepy, baby?” He hummed, taking a drag off his cigarette, and admiring how pretty you look wrapped in his sheets. Soft and warm, and inviting.

It made him fucking ache. You were his, not in a way of possession like had thought, but more in the way of you were his to care for, to protect, to love. Things he never thought possible of himself.

He always thought he was just some asshole who thought he could have the good things in life. Things he didn’t think he deserved.

But you always saw the good in Billy, even when he couldn’t see it himself. Your idealism often clashed with his cynicism. But he wouldn’t trade you for the world. His fingers stroked your face, and you yawned.

“Mhm,” you mumbled, pulling on him, your eyes half lidded. “Come to bed, Billy.” You said, sweetly. You tilted your head, pulling on him again. “Can’t sleep without you against my back.” You said, yawning again.

He stood up, kissing your forehead, before putting out his cigarette, and turning the music off, before he began to undress. It was the last thing you were aware of, besides his body pressing against your back, making you sigh.

You felt warm and safe in his embrace, and you clung to the feeling of happiness, a feeling so foreign to you.

But maybe it didn’t have to be.

Monsters in the Dark #18

Dark themes, fluff, alcohol consumption, f/reader.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack

x

“You know I used to run around pretending to be married to Hades?” You asked Billy, taking a sip of your wine. It was the good stuff, the expensive Zinfandel that Billy knew you loved.

Billy looked over, fingers massaging your calves as you both enjoyed a Friday night together, and watching some action/adventure flick.

You weren’t sure what it was about anymore, too tipsy to care. And too focused on Billy’s touch. You had a one track mind when it came to him.

Something Billy was very aware of.

“Oh yeah?” He asked, sipping his beer.

You scooted closer, spilling your wine a little on your hand, as you giggled a little drunk, “I was obsessed with Greek mythology. My daddy had endless books on the subject. He was a professor. I often stole his books, and climbed my favorite tree and read. It made him mad.” You said, feeling bittersweet remembering your father. You loved him because he was still your father.

Billy’s fingers gripped your chin, noticing your faraway eyes, making you look at him; “You're stronger without him.” He said fiercely.

You smiled softly.

“Later on I became obsessed with villains like the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera, something my foster mother never understood. She said it was dangerous to love the darkness, that I was too soft. But I never cared for white knights. They bored me.” You explained.

Billy smiled, imagining little you running around fantasizing about Hades, stealing your father’s books, and hiding in trees.

“It reminds me of myself, I used to hide in little nooks and crannies reading westerns, and dreaming of being a cowboy. I remember fantasizin’ about rescuin’ the girl.” He told you. His memories were also tinged with bittersweetness.

“I became more of a villain than a hero.” Billy said, finishing off his beer. Maria would say he was an antihero, but sometimes Billy wasn’t so sure.

Because he had told himself you could never leave him, that he’d drag you back if he had to. It made him more of a villain than anything.

You grinned at him, “Billy is my Hades.” You admitted, taking another sip of wine.

Billy chuckled; “I’m your godly lover, huh?” He asked, pinching your cheek.

He could imagine Maria telling you he didn’t need his ego stroked.

You looked at him shyly, “Could I be your Persephone?” You asked, the alcohol making your mind feel warm and fuzzy.

Billy smiled wickedly, “Of course, baby. You’re the only goddess I want to worship.” He purred.

You gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek, “Love you, Bill. Thorns and all.”

Billy’s heart skipped a beat. He loved you, thorns and all, too.