Boy - Blog Posts
Never Mind 8
Hi! It's time for new part of Never Mind. I can say that this part is one I like myself. It's not like amazing and so deep and emotional part but I like it.
Why I did it? Why I went to him? Why I crabbed him? Why I crabbed his neck and not hand? Why I made him die? Why I had to choke him? Why I did it? Why I started becoming a monster that had spoken even before I was born? Just why did I born if it never meant to happen? Those question ran circle inside my head and they were making me crazy. Why went there? I need him and not only now but I will need him in future. I was just looking him and watch him try to breath. He tried to get my hands off around his neck. But I didn't let go. I made him die. No one haven't told me to do it but I still did it. I choked him and listened him say 'I love you'. Goosebumbs ran on my skin and left cold touch on it. I didn't cry and I left like I was wachting myself outside my body. But I felt my cold andhollow body around me. The boy was the most dearest person to me. So why just the freaking why I did let him die by my hands?
-Hey, what are doig here?
A hand placed on my shoulder. I did not want anyone to come and bother me now. I stood up and hit him with all my strenght and the person fell onto floor.
-None if your buisness asshole
I grabbed the man's feet and dragged him to others. I have had other people knock out before him. I did not want anyone to bother me. Then I just went to desk and found paper and pencil. I wrote "I don't know, maybe I was afraid and maybe I still am scared. You won't wait me with happy smile on your face anymore, not after you find out that your son died by my hands."
Then I just looked the note little time. I left the note and took that beautiful pencil with me. Then I heard some weak voice from pile of unmissed people. I opened a window other side of the room. I put my hood cover my head, white mask to cover my face and still once I scanned the room, then I escaped through the narrow window to lightless night.
NEVERMIND 7
New part again. This kind of came out of one songs lyrics but it's still about same characther as other Neverminds are about. The girl is always same.
I looked a boy into eyes. His eyes sparkled like stars. They told story like the stars. But then they closed. I understood it now and I couln't do anything. Tears fall down on my cheeks. How I could have forget? Why no one had asked me that until now? Iwas terrible person. I squeezed my hands tigh. Why they did this to me? They just turned myself looking at only myself snd not surroundings. They made me selfish. And it made me unstable. I had to get out of here. Tears were cold rivers on my cheeks and they were frozen. The boy lay on the ground.
- How many you have to kill? I asked them but no one ansewred.
- I killed only one of you. What you have done? You killed innocent people! Only because of me! And then you killed my best friend and now my brother. When it's enough? A man walked front of me. He was tall and tanned.
- Only one!?! He laughed at my face.
- Nothing more!?! Salvia sparkled out of his mouth right on my face. other people inside the room laughed little bit too. I didn't look man to his eyes. I looked the boy on the ground and tried to focus the anserw he gave me. But I didn't want to come up with more tears.
- That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He laughed. And they everyone in the room laughed. They all laughed for boy's death. Suddenly little knock echoed in the room. It was so little that it could barely hear. No one cared about it. Then a door opened other side of the room and a girl, head taller than me, walked right trought the man and turned to face him. I knew that girl. The man didn't even had a time to lay his eyes on the girl when she pucnhed him middle of his perfect face. She hit him so hard that I could hear his nose broke. Deep silnece were ripped in the whole room. it filled every corner and it grew unbearable. Then the girl spoke:
- Don't you get involved with my family because then you get involved with me. She puched the man again and again and again. No one inside that room did nothing everyone were frozed on their feet. No one did make a move expect the girl and the man. Something cut through my wrists. It hurt and I tried not to scream. My hands were just healed. But then I felt how it was cut a rope around my wrists. I pumped the man down and my sister cut his throath. Then she laughed warm familiar laugh that I have missed. Her laught was always been wild and unruly.
NEVER MIND 6
I don't know why I can't do title for this. But this is Never mind 6. Continue the other Never minds.
I loved rumors. I loved them so much thatI even told rumors about myself. When I walk along the school hallway, whispering fill that place. People whispered their friends right now and tried sneaky to wacth me walking but I felt the stares. Whispers caught to my ears with my every step I took, but I just smiled myself. People around me really didn't knew who was among them. Or what rumors was actually true. I turned myself to my locker and I opened it. Silence fell this side of the hallway. I put my books in that locker. My eyes caught an old photo of my inside of the lockerdoor. Above the photo was mirror and I looked myself into dark eyes. I sighed and closed the door. I was frightened the boy who had came behind the door. After that my reflex didn't do ant good for rumors Because I kicked him between his legs and bumped him against the lockers with my hands around his neck. I almost could here the dramatic confusion when people on the hall fell in silence and turned to look at us. The smile started to grow on my face again. Sometimes people can be just so curios. I drowned my laugh. I took my hands off around boy's neck, but I could see clearly how my nails had left beautiful neckless on him. Marks was deep but they didn't bleed. I looked at the boy and shortly smiled to him. Then I justwalked away. People can talk bullshit about me all they want, I couldn't care less anymore like I never minded talks anyway.
Nevermind 4
New part of the story Nevermind.
Should I let go? Or should I hold on? I didn’t know, because I was lost. If I hold on I would drown in the world, but everything I want or need would be right there when I need something. If I let go I would fall, but I would get freedom. I didn’t knew which one would be worse opinion. Did I wanted change thing or did I want to keep everything I already had? If I let myself fall down I would leave others behind and if I hold on they will lift me up. This might be my only change. It was yes or not. Up or down. My hands were tired. I was hanning here a lon time already. I had to make a decision, but I wanted both. I wanted to feel my bones crush and that awful feeling of flying. Same time I wanted to snuggle inside a big warm blanket right next to a fireplace watching gold flames play.
- Where are you? Voice of a call was wafted on the ground. No, finally. I thought. They found me. Now I could let go and fall all the way to the ground or wait them to lift me up from this edge. I looked up to sunny sky. There wasn’t any clouds. Now do the decision. I told myself. I took deep breath and closed my eyes strictly. I calmed my nerves as much as I could. If I wanted to let go I had to do it now, before they see me. I took a breath again. They we be okay without me, I told myself and let go of the railing I was holdong on. But right before I started to fall, hands took a firm grip on me. Grip was tight and the boy had saved me. Other boy came next to him and grabbed my other hand. They lifted me up. Away from the edge, away from the railing.
Haha
Bro what even am i
Throwing a piece of trash in the trash can without looking gives me like a boost of boy
Like I felt so man bro
“I look to you from the passenger seat, the wind from the wide open window blowing my hair back. You smile and sing along to your favorite song as it blares on the car radio. You throw up your hand to move with the beat, looking over at me as your smile gets bigger. I turn up the music even more. I don’t want this moment to end.”
Love is in all of the unexpected places, treasure it
I loved you and you broke me. I cared for you and you ignored me. I said all good things about you and you wouldn’t even talk to me. I can’t believe you did this and you didn’t even know. But it’s okay because no matter what I will always love you and you will never love me back.
Story of my life #3
-it’s always the same story -what story? -the story of how the girl loves the boy, but he didn’t love her back
The story of my life #2
There was a girl. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice, it was supposed to make you feel something. There was a boy. He never really understood. He presumed the top layer was the only layer and never knew the truth. She was a smart girl until she fell in love. He was an oblivious boy until everything was over.
Maddie; The story of my life #1
Yo so not my usual post but we rant...
My mommy issues are so bad. Like I've got a good relationship with my mum and we are close. But. She's bipolar. That gets hard somtimes and thier for she will somtimes take shit out on me when I've done Nada.
There for always seeking approval from her. I love her validation. When she's proud of me God I will acc cry.
In relationships, I'm always needy with girls (I'm Bi) like honestly it's getting pathetic now. I'm obsessive and well clingy as fuck with them...
Update: It’s really bruised and looks like a zombie bite. I could totally play a late april fools day prank, but thats too much effort. I’m still thorougly convinced he gave me a disease
