Brokenheart - Blog Posts
My Dearest L...
tonight is coming to an end but before i go i want to just say some time i think i’m in a coma in some hospitle waiting to wake up one day and this is all just a big dream i’m in...
My Dearest L...
I miss the day’s drinking with my bestfriend...
My Dearest L...
I have this smoking habit that I'm trying to stop, but then I don't know why I'd stop when we're all going to die one day. do I have to stop because I want a few long years to live or should I stop because I want to be old enough to see my grandchildren? then comes the question will I ever have grandchildren? I'm single right now, correction I have "someone" but I don't know how long it's going to last cause it a long-distance R-ship and everyone knows how they tend to go. My longest one was I think a year long. I know this is going to sound bad to me. but don't judge till you know the whole story boys and girls. but I have this boy I started seeing before covid and I was already in my online R-ship but this guy was here in my home town and he knew I had the online boyfriend but I am yet to tell my online boyfriend about him, not because I don't want him knowing I just don't know how he's going to act knowing I have 2 boyfriends and NO I'M NOT A PLAYER.....I'm just poly and my online boyfriend knows I am. but now the boy that lived close to me. went home to Mexico for x-mas and he has not come back, I talk to him everyday. he told me he'd be back at the beginning of Jan but now it's the middle of Feb and I have two online R-ships and I'm left cold and alone in bed at night in the....dark...with my panic attacks...and my nightmares...to suffer all alone...in a cold beddd.
My Dearest L...
Why do I feel like your going? but are you still with me...it’s like you have left me.
You used to be with me when I was 13 but then I got older and you slowly just ended you fading away from me. Times got too hard for you, I guess. Was that the case tho? for are you still here with me. Do you still live in the dark? when will you find the light again... and make me feel the same way you used to? will it ever come back or is it gone forever!!! I guess I’ll just have to wait.
“The beat of broken jazz”
It’s a lonely world, everybody tries to hide.
Behind there dark blue eyes, behind those broken lies.
Did it really hurt, when you left me in the dirt.
The sky is crying, as the thoughts of you are sighing.
Boy the last string to tie was to say goodbye.
I tend to stick in your head, like the last homeless cat you fed.
You're like the beat of broken jazz.
You used to hit strings, in my heart like sweet smooth jazz sings.
In those steam filled showers, passing by those arousing seductive hours.
I found myself face down, trying to pick up my crown.
As you undid my lace, I tried to replace.
All the broken dreams i had to face.
They brought me to a place, where time can’t bring a trace. Of peace back to me.
How am i going to find a way to cope, when i can’t even wash the scars with that bloody red bar of soap.
In the dark, of a lonely park.
Passing the time away, but i only find myself fading away.
Through the wind I've sinned and through the sky I'll fly.
Say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight.
Give up the fight, we gave it a good try.
Broken and beaten. To nothing we shall remain.
And that will be the end of my pain.
-TheSadBoisClub
My Dearest L...
Dose anyone else listen to sad love music on V-day??
My Dearest L...
V-day is coming up tomorrow, it’s a dreadful day for me and the rest of the singles out there, no matter how hard they try to tell themselves they're happy just lying to themselves they know damn well. Just like I do that V-day is just a day the world made up to say “fuck you” to all the singles out there. Then on the other hand I wish I had someone to hold me at night and call my own...but till then I’ll just wait and keep calm for my time to come. They say if you stop looking love will come to you, but how are you gonna find love when you don’t put yourself out there. That’s almost like when you in an R-ship everyone wants you and when nobody wants you. I find it so weird how the world works sometimes...
Dear, Elisa Lam...
Before I go to bed tonight, I have to tell you something. I am not convinced that you did this to yourself at all, I truly believe that the hotel is hiding something from us. That manager from the new Eisa Lam documentary on Netflix has got me so damn angry!!! all she cares about is her stupid little hotel not looking like a fucking drug house. Well smell the roses hun it’s already home to the night stalker and a bunch of other prison rats. She didn’t even shed a damn tear for Elisa and don’t even get me started on how I think they made this Elisa lam documentary to cover up the real truth behind this case uggghhh fuck this makes me so damn angry!!!!
My Dearest L...
How can I miss someone I’ve never met? I miss those soft eyes glancing up at me as the morning sun comes beaming through the window, I miss the feeling of your hands brushing over my delicate skin during the midnight hours in bed, I miss how you would keep the sheets warm at night when I’m cold. How can I miss these things when I haven’t even laid my eyes on you yet???
My Dearest L...
Will i ever find the one that will make me happy to be alive??
My Dearest L...
I honestly have felt for years now like I’m not moving forward in my life I feel stuck in a pit that I can’t get out of, to make it even worse I’ve been wronged by so many people in my life that I feel like my heart doesn’t even know how to feel or be in love again. I mean it’s not like the opportunity hasn’t come up but even when it does I talk to the person for a max of a week or two weeks if there lucky. Then it’s almost as if it just doesn’t mean anything anymore... is it even possible for someone to be so broken that they can’t love anymore????
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
Unknown
My Dearest L...
How i wish you were here with me through my hard time’s!!!
My Dearest L...
Have you ever felt as if time wasn’t real? Sometimes I wish I knew why I was put on this earth at this point. Was there ever a real reason why I am here. Bec I would like to know why I have had to go through so much fucking pain in my life. Was there ever a reason for every time I have broken my heart and cried myself to sleep every night for weeks at a time...
"I gave the way, you did not walk.
I opened the door, you did not come.
I supported, you did not keep up.. "