Bruce Wayne - Blog Posts

DC groupchats as my favourite Homestuck quotes #2

Thad: Ever hear of Guy Fieri?

Bart: No? I don't think so.

Thad: How unfortunate for you.

Thad: He was an especially degenerate piece of filth.

Thad: He used his connections and guile to wriggle his way into fame, and other positions of power.

Thad: He somehow landed on the U.S. supreme court. Over the years, other Justices started mysteriously disappearing without means to replace them.

Thad: After helping rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, he weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Captain of Interstellar War.

Thad: I'm going to cut to the chase, cause really this doesn't need to be a full History lesson. Especially with your attention span.

Thad: He eventually came to be regarded as the third and final antichrist.

Thad: No human in history was responsible for as much pain and suffering.

Bart: Is that why REACH attacked our planet? Guy Fieri, High Captain of Interstellar War?

Thad: Yes.

Bart: ;-;

___________________________________________________________

-Kaldur joined the chat-

-Batman joined the chat-

Wally: Mom?

Dick: Mom?

Kaldur: Wait, If you're mom

Kaldur: and IM mom

Kaldur: Then who's flying this plane??

Wally: I change my mind, I want a new mom.

___________________________________________________________

Jay: Hello Tim

Tim: Hey Jay

Tim: How's the best brother in the world doing today?

Jay: Best brother in the world, hmm?

Tim: Of course, who else could I mean?

Jay: What is it you want from me?

Tim: You know what I want, Jay

Jay: Money? Affection? For me to write your essays?

Tim: its all I've ever wanted from you

Tim: *he leans in close to him and gently strokes his face*

Tim: *whispers* I want my fucking coffee back.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #36

Dick: You little shit.

Jason: They just like me better!

Dick: Right, and how much did you have to blackmail them to believe that you little gremlin.

Bruce: What's going on here?

Dick: Jason stole one of my best friends and Ex girlfriend!

Jason: I plead the fifth! Can't steal what you never had!

Dick: Why you-

Bruce: Dick, maybe consider that they do like Jason for his... personality.

Jason: Why you gotta say it like that?

Dick: This is ridiculous. *storms off all dramatically*

Bruce: Maybe for future reference, don't steal any of Dick's friends.

Jason: Fine, I won't steal any more of Dick's best friends. Yeesh.

[One week later]

Jason: *casually sitting on a seat enjoying hot cocoa*

Tim: *slams the door open* YOU BITCH!

Jason: *smirking* Hi, Timmy.

Tim: DoN'T Hi TiMmY mE, YoU tOoK BaRt FrOm Me hOw CoUlD yOU!

Bruce: Jason, this isn't what I meant when I said don't steal any more of Dick's friends.

Jason: You should have specified.

Bruce : What am I doing wrong?

Harley : do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?

Bruce : as a friend.

Harley : see a therapist

Crossover? Flashfam and Batfam

#Bruce meets his match

Bruce: *staring at Bart from across the interrogation table*

Bart: *Kicking his legs and staring back*

Bruce: So, Impulse-

Bart: No.

Bruce: No?

Bart: You were gonna question me. I say no.

Bruce: You didn't hear the question.

Bart: Okay, go ahead.

Bruce: So-

Bart: No.

Bruce: *disgruntled bat noises*

Bart: *staring with a blank expression*

~ two hours later ~

Bruce: *dangling Bart upside down from the ceiling*

Bart: And then I was all like, "No way, you can't do that. That's a no-no, even in my book", and then Tim was like "I-"

Bruce: Enough, please stop. Stop talking. Leave. I'm done.

Bart: *phases out of the ties* thanks. *walks out*

Diana, on the other side of the one sided glass: I've never seen him give up so quickly.

Hal: Kids' got spunk.

Clark: We should go before Bruce tries to vent on one of us.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #34

Batfam playing Among Us

Dick: Super Sus, he follows people and disappears at random, every time he's imposter he vent camps. He really likes the vents.

Jason: Kills three or more people every round but somehow no one sees him do it. Kill sprees are his favorite.

Tim: Suspicous of everything and everyone, even if he's the imposter. always has crazy assumptions that somehow are right. Only likes to do tasks if he's alone in a room. Has a kill spree rivalry with Jason. (plays with Kon, Bart and Cass most of the time tho)

Damian: Has somehow perfected winning the game by strategising his kills. Always does his evil laugh and is super pouty when Imposters target him first. Has the best behind the scene commentary, along with Babs.

Babs: Always cracking jokes and says "oop" a lot. Somehow is always the one to find the body. Lord have mercy when she's the imposter.

Steph: Very hesitant to kill when she's imposter. Unless she's mad at someone. Then she's ruthless. most likely to kill someone in front of other people on accident.

Cass: Never talks durring discussions. No one ever suspects her. She gets imposter 80% of the time. And she's scarily good at it. Her and Dami have a competition to kills in every game. Dami started it, she doesn't even try to play his game. She's just that good.

Bruce: No idea how the Hell to play. Forgets to mute himself when he's saying stuff like "Oh I'm imposter". Tasks? What tasks? He just follows whoever he thinks he can trust. Most of the time he picks the right person to tail cause they never kill him. Jason targets him first every time.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #32

(Idea from a good friend on instagram: Barbara :3)

Wayne Manor but Quarantine

Bruce: Realizes he'll be practically trapped in his house with all his crazy™ kids and he sighs internally, externally, eternally...

Selina: Goes on her "shopping sprees" because since everything is closed security is short-staffed. ;) but she's having a great time with it. She also makes this time to bond with all the kids cause she wants to be the best step-mom UwU

Dick: All his brothers bet on how long he'd last. He lasted a day. (Tim won the bet) He Becomes depressed after a week and has often been seen on the lounge couch in pajamas and a robe eating a tub of ice cream and watching mean girls. Constantly talking about wanting to go see Wally and being shot down. (It doesn't matter tho cause Wally comes to see him anyway)

Babs: Does not mind quarantine. Stays healthy and active. Get's REALLY into TikTok and Instagram. Starts like- 5 new hobbies: Yoga, makeup art, making TikTok memes (and forcing Dick to be in some of them) etc.

Jason: Doesn't care about the warnings. Leaves the house a lot. Goes to public places. Since everything is closed he chills on rooftops or sometimes even parks. Occasionally joined by Roy Harper. helps Alfred with a lot of meals cause we all know he's second best when it comes to cooking in the family.

Steph: Panic buys the entire stock of waffles and other snack items. Is really worried about the warnings at first but everyone comforted her so she'd calm down. (Jason fakes coughs every now and then around her for laughs) Most of the time chilling in her own room or in Tim's just snacking.

Tim: Is not effected by Quarantine. He was already a Hermit to begin with. Now he had an excuse to be inside all the time so he's doing great. Get's really into Animal Crossing on his switch and chills with Steph a lot if he's not staying up playing online with Bart and Kon. Steph already bought him the stock of coffee so he had no worries.

Dami: Takes Quarantine VERY seriously. His brothers tease him for caring but he responds with "I only care about my own health and the general public. We are heroes and need to set examples to protect our city." Or somthing along those lines. (he does actually care tho)

Duke: Tries not to let it get to him. He's maxin' chillaxin'. Spends his time pranking everyone else to get their spirits up. (we do not deserve this lovely boi) Starts a prank war and Nerf gun/water gun fight with everyone. Even Bruce joined.

Alfred: The actual GLUE to everyone not losing their minds. Enjoys teaching Babs cooking as a new hobby she picked up and loves chatting over making food with Jason. Get's to rest a lot more since at least one of the boys or Steph does spontanious chores just to do something and being all and all the best Butler/Grandfather ever. (as per usual)

Harper: HATES quarantine. She goes to the skate park a lot with a skateboard or rollar blades cause her hockey team is cancelled the entire season and she needs the release. Dyes her hair at least 5 times, all different colours.

Cass: Trains a lot. Reads a lot. Stays in the background of everything. Selina focuses on bonding with her mostly and they form a really lovely connection over the time spent together.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #31

Dick uses Wally as his personal transporter-- a lot. He hardly uses the Zeta anymore because he always has the speedster at hand. It isn't wierd to see the two together all the time but civilians started noticing how the Flash was in Bludhaven a lot. It was a bit odd, seeing as how he is stationed in Central City. What was even wierder was when He sped Nightwing to battle in a Shopping Cart. Nightwing ended up jousting the villain.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #30

The favourite thing the media loves about Bruce Wayne is he never takes vacations like all billionaires tend to do. He has all this money, power, and influence but he never spends it for himself. He always seems to be giving to charity and all his time to his life work-- Even though part of the reason is Gotham needs Batman, the public doesn't know that.

It get's brought up numerous times durring gala's amongst the patrions and there are multiple stories praising him over his hard work, not to mention how Wayne tech became more diverse in it's products over the years thanks to the help of his children's input of what the people wanted.

Dick helped him make clothing lines that all looked amazing, because the boy is slightly a fashon guru. Jason had plenty of things to say about clubs and casinos since he himself used to own one and knew of the revenue and good rep they gave. Tim talked about alternative technologies they could invest in, like fabricated organs or false limbs and bones since he himself had a missing spleen. Damian mostly ranted about self protection weapons so he made a formula of pepper spray and with the help of Jason a Wayne taser. Cassandra, though not much to say, casually slips comments about orphanages. Babs says a lot about phones, products and cosmetics.

Gotham may be a twisted place but they love all of the Batkids and Bruce especially.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #29

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟBatfam Twitter, Otherwise known as: Idiots with Internet PART 3!The amazing Women have joined the chat

Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious

Have to get my nails redone after I punch this guy for making a move on my sis. Brb

13.4k Likes 12.3k retweeted 20k Comments

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Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack

rolls up sleeves I got this

12.5k Likes 11.9k retweeted 12.8k Comments

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Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass

@ FlyingGraysonJr Hold my earrings

13.9k Likes 12.1k retweeted 13.2k Comments

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Dick GAYson 🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

Girl, you know I got u.

12.3k Likes 11k retweeted 13.1k Comments

Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious

God, being this awesome is exausting...

14.2k Likes 13.1k retweeted 13.5k Comments

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Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass

I'll hold the mantle while you take a break. Go do your nerd stuff

14.1k Likes 11.2k retweeted 12.9k Comments

Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack

Still don't understand Twitter but learning

14.4k Likes 11.2k retweeted 13.5k Comments

Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell

Why is the little demon brat so awful? What did I ever do to you?!

14.6k likes 12.3k retweeted 16.9k Comments

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Damian Wayne 🗸 @ TheBloodSon

Say it to my face, Brown.

12.9k Likes 10.2k retweeted 12.5k Comments

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Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell

I will when you reach eye-level, gremlin.

15.2k Likes 13.6k retweeted 15.3k Comments

Cass Sandsmark 🗸 @ StrongerThanYourMans

anotherunofficialBruceWayneadoption

16.9k likes 14.7k retweeted 11.2k Comments

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Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell

Welcome to the family @ StrongerThanYourMans

14.5k Likes 13.2k retweeted 12.7k Comments

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Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass

Looks like we snagged another one. @ zombierebellion owes me five bucks

14.2k Likes 12.4k retweeted 15.2k Comments

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Jay Son 🗸 @ zombierebellion

Damn it, Bruce! I bet on Billy next

15.7k Likes 13.4k retweeted 12.9k Comments

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Dick GAYson 🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

I had my money on Conner.

16.3k likes 12.2k retweeted 15.8k Comments

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Tim Drake 🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead

No way. It was gonna be Duke.

15.7k Likes 13.2k retweeted 13.9k Comments

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Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack

Duke already family?

16.2k Likes 14.5k retweeted 12.9k Comments

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Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious

@ sleepwhenimdead When was the last time you slept, Timmy?

15.2k Likes 10.9k retweeted 13.4k Comments

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Jay Son 🗸 @ zombierebellion

I'll get the sedatives...

16.3k likes 12.3k retweeted 14k comments

inaccurate Batfam quotes #28

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟBatfam Twitter, Otherwise known as: Idiots with Internet PART 2

Bruce Wayne🗸 @ BrucieWayneOfficial

@ Diamondsareacatsbestfriend Doesn't she look beautiful in her dress for tonights Gala? IMG.29ghv260na.JPG

20k Likes 12.7k retweeted 23.9k Commets

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Selina Kyle @ Diamondsareacatsbestfriend

@BrucieWayneOfficial Oh, you.

12.2k Likes 9.8k retweeted 8.7k Comments

Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

Hey, join me on insta live later to see if we can convince Dami to put on a panguin onsie! LOL So cute

24.3k Likes 20.7k retweeted 10.3k Comments

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Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon

@FlyingGraysonJr Grayson, what are you talking about. I will NOT be putting on that abomination.

23.1k Likes 12.3k retweeted 9.7k Comments

Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion

20k retweets and I shoot @ sleepwhenimdead with a tranq dart

32k Likes 28.7k retweeted 30.8k Comments

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Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion

@ sleepwhenimdead The people have spoken. OKAY TIMMY, TIME FOR BEDDY-BYE

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Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead

@ zombierebellion HOW COULD YOU ALL, I THOUGHT YOU CARED

34.9k Likes 24.3k retweeted 40.1k Comments

Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead

I woke from being tranqued and it's been 53 hours...

34.8k Likes 29.8k retweeted 30.2k Comments

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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

At least you slept.

32.2k Likes 12.3k retweeted 9.8 Comments

Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon

Despite being the most heinous article of clothing I have ever seen, the material is quite comfortable. But I'm never wearing it again.

35.3k Likes 30.1k retweeted 33.4k Comments

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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

@ TheBloodSon But you looked so cute as a panguin! IMG.92htmil83.JPG

37.4k Likes 37.4k retweeted 40.2k Comments

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Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion

@ FlyingGraysonJr @ TheBloodSon looks normal like that. Minus the sour face.

22.4k Likes 12.9k retweeted 19.2k Comments

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Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead

@ FlyingGraysonJr @ TheBloodSon @ zombierebellion he looks so precious even though he's going to kill us all..

20k Likes 18.2k retweeted 22.4k Comments

inaccurate Batfam quotes #27

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟBatfam Twitter, Otherwise known as: Idiots with Internet

Bruce Wayne🗸 @ BrucieWayneOfficial

Good morning, Gotham. What lovely clouds we have today.

11.2k likes 3.2k retweeted 7.5k Comments

Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

I don't think you understand, Baby shark is stuck in my head. Send. Help.

13.7k Likes 9.2k retweeted 10.2k Comments

Jay son🗸 @ zombierebellion

Y'all can talk shit but my shade is Gucci, so watch yourself

10.8k Likes 4.5k retweeted 9k Comments

Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead

I don't need a nap, I need a coffin.

12.7k Likes 4.1k retweeted 7.8k Comments

Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon

I'm never letting @ FlyingGraysonJr name one of my pets again...

15.9k Likes 5.2k retweeted 10.7k Comments

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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

What's wrong with Dingleshnorf?

18.4k Likes 6.9k retweeted 11.9k Comments

Tim Drake🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead

I would say "I need a life" but the reason I'm depressed Is cause I have one

12.7k Likes 4.5k retweeted 9.3k Comments

Jay Son🗸 @ zombierebellion

Everyone stop what you're doing right fucking now and Google Scotland's national animal

22.9k Likes 8.2k retweeted 14.2k Comments

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Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

WHAT

9k Likes 3.4k retweeted 5.1k Comments

Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

If it's called "submissive", than shouldn't Dominant be called "missive"?

11.3k Likes 6.8k retweeted 17k Comments

Damian Wayne🗸 @ TheBloodSon

Selfless acts are only recognised if you want them to be recognised, so does that make it selfless? Good deeds are so often overlooked. what makes a wrong or right? What makes mutual morality? Judge only by personal opinion. But what right is there to judge? Where’s the humanity

15.9k Likes 9.5k retweeted 17.4k Comments

Dick GAYson🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr

@ itsallaboutspeed Thanks for the "Happy Fathers day to my favorite Dilf" card, Walls.

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Wally West @ itsallaboutspeed

@ FlyingGraysonJr Wouldn't have it any other way. 😘

Bruce Wayne🗸 @ BrucieWayneOfficial

Hey everyone, Bruce Wayne here asking you to stay home to help stop the spread of Corona Virus. Link:Youtube.watch/BruceWayne/Coronatalk

inaccurate Batfam quotes #25

Damian Wayne has often been depicted for his uncharacteristicly mature and strikingly violent behavior, but he 100% always participates in childish games like "tag" or "hide-and-seek" because, and I quote (His non-existant quote, this is a headcanon don't @ me) "I will not be bested by you imbiciles"

In the end he always has a good time with his brothers (because Dick is normally the one to drag him into it) and if anyone were to point out his smile, he would immediatly deny any and all accusations of having fun.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #24

Headcannon that when Jason was still Robin and in teenage rebellion phases, Bruce bought him a studio with blank walls like canvases and let him do whatever. He'd buy Jason Spraypaints and supplies for his birthdays or just whenever he needed them. After Jason came back from the dead, the studio became his "HQ". Though he didn't like Batman, he had to admit that he did one good thing in his childhood.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #22

The Batboys have a traditional game that helps 'train' them to always stay on alert, even when they don't expect it-- even at inoportune times... That's at least what they told Bruce so he'd let them play it.

Jason, jumping on the couch: The floor is Lava!

Dick: Jumps on the Chandelier

Tim: Climbs a bookshelf

Damian: Mounts Batcow™

Bruce: Sighs heavily, pulling his legs onto the chair he was already on

-absolute silence-

Dick, already on his aerial ropes: The floor is Lava!

Jason: casually climbs kitchen counter and continues to eat chips while reading

Damian: Climbs on his bed but decides that's not good enough and climbs on top of the canopy

Tim: Casually stands on the bathroom sink, flipping through research like nothing happened

Bruce: Grunts and simply sits in his office chair

Tim, looking around to see everyone lounging in the cave after a particularly long mission: The floor is Lava.

Damian: Jumping onto Bruce's back "Sacrifices must be made father."

Dick: Cartwheeling onto the Batmobile

Jason: Lay's on the ground completely monotone I'm suffering.

Tim: Shrugs and Joins him

inaccurate Batfam quotes #20

The batfamily as romantic types...

Dick: The hopeless romantic and flirt, shameless, makes it known who he likes.

Jason: The confused about emotions but still making an effort; getting flowers that he probably just snatched from a feild, buying chocolates and gets embarassed about any positive feedback.

Tim: Border on stalking until he finds out what they like to use that as a tactical advantage, as well as over-analyzies every scenario.

Damian: Very foreward and very formal with everything, probably escort them to his Dads private yacht for a dinner date under candles and stars, being very serious the entire time.

Bruce: Emotionally constipated but sincere.

Barbra: Drops hints, but a lot of them. At once. Sometimes scares people but no one can turn her down, it's Barbra. Does not take no for an answer.

Cassandra: Very shy around them and makes casual comments; "You look nice today." etc.

Duke: Charming and patient, always there for his romantic interest as a friend first and lover second.

The time the team found out Batman has a heart while simultaneously finding out Robin’s Identity...

There was an explosion during the mission. Unexpected, three down. But surprisingly, those three hadn’t suffered the worst of it. Sure, Atrimus had a sprained ankle and slight concussion, Wally suffered a few broken ribs and injured arm while Kaldur endured a broken nose and deep gash on his chest, they weren’t the one’s everyone was worried about. After they all split up, Wally and Dick had found the bomb with only a few seconds to spare. Wally used his body to cover Dick as he ran, ran as fast as he could to get him away but the force of it blew them out the window. Dick’s eyes widened as They fell, Wally’s arms still protectively tucking him into his chest while moving them so that he’d cushion the fall with his own body. The ebony seemed to have been in a trance after they landed on the grass below, fire raging and the team staggering out, Artimus being carried on conner’s back While m’gann helped Kaldur as he limped. Dick remained unresponsive, even as a very alive Wally had tried snapping him back. Then he went to shake him but this gut wrenching scream escaped the ebonys lips as he gripped his hair in anguish and doubled over with sobs. Everyone watched in surprise and horror as the youngest cried and screamed words in a language they didn’t understand.

That was then. They were all in the cave now, silently sitting in the living room without even trying to speak of what happened. No one even knew how to explain it. M’gann may have been able to read his emotion but they all felt it like it was their own as his screams continued to ring in their ears. His cries echoed through the halls as he was escorted to his room with Black Canary and refused to leave since. No one seemed to move.

“Recognized A01” the computer announced and they barely raised their heads to acknowledge the mentors presence.

“Wallace. Come with me.” He said in a rush as he could distantly hear his proteges cries. The ginger nodded absently but looked more like a husk as he followed. This snapped Kaldur out of his trained thoughts as he stood abruptly.

“I— would like to come, too!” He said, almost pleadingly. “I want to know what happened to my friend.

“No.” Batman said, still walking off, a hand on Wally’s back as he led them on faster.

“No?” The Atlantean scoffed.

“Well I don’t care what he says.” Artimus stood with a glare, seemingly pointed to nothing in particular. “I’m going to check on him.”

“Me too.” M’gann spoke from Conner’s chest. The feelings Robin was feeling leaked to her. The suffering of love and loss hit her like a roller coaster she wasn’t strapped into, the turns just daring her to fall out. Conner stood with her, still holding her as she didn’t seem metally stable to walk on her own. They all made the silent decision to go to see him. The closer they came to the bedrooms, the louder the screaming became. The wretch in their hearts slowed them until it came to a halt in front of a cracked open door with the sound of pure nightmarish shrieks. They looked amongst themselves before creaking the door open.

Robin was held tightly to Batman’s chest and sat in his lap on the bed as the man shushed him and pet his hair soothingly. Wally was sitting beside them, tears of his own running down his face.

“Tati, nu se vor opri. Vocile nu se vor opri!” (Daddy, they won't stop. The voices won't stop!) Robin sobbed into the man's chest, holding grips of his costume for his sanity.

“Richard, I need you to look at me.” The bat whispered to him quietly. Blue eyes looked up and the man wiped his tears with his thumb. “Wally is right here, by your side. Alive.” To prove it so, Wally grabbed one of the younger hands, the grip on Batman’s emblem coming undone to hold it tightly. “No one died tonight because you were able to tell the team on time.” Batman kissed the side of Dick’s head, rocking them slowly.

“Bruce… Mama and Papa… they…” Dick sniffled, silent tears trekking down his face, covering the dried paths.

“They’re gone.” Bruce said quickly. “They’ve been gone for years. You need to remember you still have a family.” He added quietly. “Barbra. Alfred. Me.”

“And you have me.” Wally’s voice broke as he joined with a small kiss to the boys knuckles that were white from his grip.

“They died because of me—” Dick sniffled, voice hitching in his throat.

“No no. They died so that you could live. I’m sure they’d be happy to die if it meant you stayed living in their memory.” Bruce corrected. Dick buried his face back into Bruce’s chest, Wally being pulled into the embrace as well. The others that stood at the door, unknown of what to do, left. The words spoken softly between the three all fresh in their memory, replaying like broken records. They all had trouble sleeping that night, quite possibly even more than Dick did. Though he had the comfort of Wally carefully spooning him and whispering sweet nothings while he drifted into restless oblivion. Needless to say, the team never saw Robin as a frail child again.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #18

Do you think since Dick was so young when he started out as Robin that he had, like... snacks in his utility belt. He’s on a mission with Bats one day and he’s eating gummy bears he pulled from his pouch. Cause I do.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #17

Can we all agree it’s canon that Bruce and Jason have this weird competition of T-shirts to talk shit about the other? Like... Bruce walking around one day and the paparazzi take a picture of him in a “proud father of a great kid who’s sometimes an asshole” shirt. Jason sees it and retaliates by wearing a “Wonder where I learned to swear” shirt to an informal party and they just kept going.

Inaccurate Batfam quotes #14

Batfam on a rollar coaster:

Dick: Screaming in joy

Jason: Screaming in fear

Tim: Bored af

Damian: Pouting but secretly enjoying it

Bruce: Sitting stiff, internally screaming

Alfred: Sipping tea somehow without spilling

inaccurate Batfam quotes #12

Damian: Give it back, Todd!

Jason, holding a batarang over his head: What are you gonna do? Stab me?

Damian: Pulls out throwing knife yes.

Jason: wait, what?

Damian: stabs him

Jason: You little B*tch!

Bruce: appears Hey, no swearing.

Jason: Demon just stabbed me!

Bruce: Damian, what did I tell you about stabbing your brothers?

Damian: sighs don't stab your brothers...

So, BirdFlash, right?

As most of you know, I have a wattpad account but I've recently posted the first chapters of some new books. For those Batfam and Birdflash fans out there that alreday read all those fanfics, I've added a new one to your to-read! I have so many Idea's for it and I'm super exited for your input! Go check it out!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/205275175-blue-and-red-belong-together

inaccurate Batfam quotes #7

Batman: phone rings "Hello?"

Tim: "DadJasonjustshottheguninthehouseandnoweverythingisinabsoluteanarchypleasecomesaveme" dodges vase "oh my god, DAMIAN! GO PUT THE TIGER BACK!"

Justice Legue: ...

Batman: "Wait, slow down. Jason did what? Damian has a Tiger?"

Tim: "Do you really need to ASK? THERE'S A TIGER IN THE HOUSE, BRUCE!"

Batman: "I'll be home soon. Is everyone okay?"

Tim: "My mental stability isn't but I think their fine-" BANG "Nevermind, Damian's been shot."

Batman: "Where is Alfred?"

Tim: "Silently watching us in the corner of the room." pause of silence "OH GOD, THERE'S A FIRE! I gotta go."

click

Batman: Emergency. I have to leave.

Superman, that heard everything with Super-hearing: ... Right. So-

inaccuate Bamfam quotes

Bruce: Who's going to help me take down Superman?

batchildren™: crickets

Bruce: Really? None of you? You're my kids!

Jason, from the back: We're adopted!

Bruce: Damian isn't.

Damian: I'm dating Superman's son, I can't kill Jon's dad.

Everyone else: ...

Bruce: Tim?

Tim: I'm actually dating Kon...

Bruce:... Jason?

Jason: Fuck you, old man. I just don't like you.

Bruce: Dick, tell me you aren't dating someone from the superfamily, too.

Dick: Nope.

Bruce: sigh of relief

Dick: Only Wally!

Bruce, realizing all of his kids are dating the pupils of the colleagues he dislikes most: I'm gonna go take a nap...

A Dark Cave of a Head

I had a few ideas concerning that post about Midoryia in Gotham, and that got me thinking, does the MHA version of Batman have a quirk? Or is it the same as normal no quirk?

I my head he has one considering his age the murder of Thomas and Martha likely awoke his quirk, what would that quirk be?

Here's the idea.

Quirk: Constitution

Mental attack have no effects on the target as their mind is walled completely off, unreadable and unchangeable to mind altering abilities, if a person tries to read their mind they simply encounter a wall of inky darkness.

Basically it's just a version of Bruce's canon ability to make his mind unreadable, it also makes quirks like Brainwash ineffective, simply it makes his brain tamperproof, doesn't give him any greater abilities, it simply makes him strong against mental attacks, put's him in an Aizawa situation where he has a good quirk, but it's not going to win by itself, hence the rest of the Batman training.

He says he's going to try shoot a former member of the SAS, I don't know if that's bravery or Stupidity, but what ever it is, that's going to work Alexander.

I love those Lex Luthor panels I reblogged yesterday because basically that whole conversation went like this:

Lex: you’re the Batman, and I’m going to prove it by shooting you

Bruce: that’s crazy, Lex. you’re crazy. I don’t even know how to throw a punch.

Lex: perhaps. but what if I shot your butler instead?

Bruce:

Lex:

Alfred:

Bruce:

Lex:

Bruce: have you ever been kicked so hard in the face, you saw the rebirth of Krypton?

Batman; Gotham by Gaslight

Within the annals of cultural, pop cultural, and historical crime, there are few whose macabre methods could reach the bloody depths that 'yours truly,' Jack the Ripper, managed to plumb.

Five brutal deaths were all it took for that deadly name to resound for Five centuries. The echo of the deed has so scarred the psyche of man that Man collectively found 'champions' of their own to face the blood-soaked beast on the battlefield of 'what if' in an attempt, perhaps, to find a semblance of cold closure on one of the most famous cold cases in history.

A murderer must be hunted by a detective, and there is no more excellent detective at DC's disposal than Batman to solve the mystery of Jack the Ripper. It is a contest between legendary figures, a Dark Knight on a quest to capture a monster, two ghosts playing a grisly game of hide-and-seek through the foggy alleys of a Victorian-era Gotham lit not by neon ...but by Gaslight.

Ironically, even though Batman is DC's greatest detective, barely any detective work is done in both the movie and the original comic it is adapted from. Any investigative work done by Batman in both mediums to uncover the identity of Jack is brushed over, and the reveal of the killer's identity had nothing to do with anything Batman had done throughout the narrative.

Ultimately, Batman is almost railroaded into solving the mystery, and the climax is somewhat underwhelming and blunts the effect of the twist reveal of Jack the Ripper's true identity.

YES. Commissioner James Gordon IS Jack the Ripper. This risky reimagining elevated this adaptation to a height that its original comic did not achieve. The twist shocked the system for any DC fan familiar with Batman's relationship with Gordon. It is also expertly hinted at throughout the film for any sharp-eyed viewer interested in a whodunit, as the narrative presented many possible suspects, but Gordon was the only one who would have fit all the facts of the mystery. The twist was further muddied by the inspired decision to design Jack the Ripper to be as angular as possible, while Gordon had a softer, more rounded silhouette.

This culminates in a climactic showdown atop a burning Ferris wheel, which was ironically begun by a knocked-over gas lamp. At the end of a brutally animated brawl, Gordon allows himself to be consumed by the fire of the burning wheel. He is a good man driven into hellfire by his hellish desires. Was he the last evil of a bygone age sacrificed for a better future? Or was he just the latest in a never-ending cycle of self-destruction, doomed to go around in a wheel until the wheel eats itself alive?

Whatever the case, Gotham by Gaslight turned a throwaway 'what if' comic story into a film that embodies everything that makes a Batman story great. The film shows that, even if lit by gas, Gotham is still a city that needs its Dark Knight, regardless of what the city deserves.

I want this, but like, kinda leaning into Father figure Fright Knight, like, Frighty is so put to protecting Danny, he becomes a new paternal figure on Dannys life, but like, i know it sounds weird to some degree

so, behold! Big brother Frighty.

He just, overprotective, shit talker, done with Danny but doesn’t allow anyone else to be rude to him, he is also very dramatic, will not use any other language that isn’t Ghostspeak just, dramatic, big brother. Yes.

Also, Danny being like “Ugh! How discriminatory, he is a meta, God forbid they dress however they like and act in a not usually socially acceptable way!”

Danny is going to Gotham high which yay for him!

Problem? Right now he's in the office because he may have punched someone while defending damian and now everyone is waiting for his guardian

But clockwork can't come (humans perceive him a bit...well he just can't) and jazz has an important exam

So who's next in line?

Fright Knight! (Okay, technically he's not the Guardian OF Danny but more guarding Danny but details details)

So Fright Knight appears in all of his villain-esque glory and foaming sword

And everyone kinda freaks out because?? Danny, is your guardian a villain? What do you mean 'depends'?? What does the shrugging mean?? No we can't go back to the punch thing-

The big three (Can y’all tell I couldn’t come up with any cool ideas for Superman’s suit?)

Sometimes all you need in the moment is a hug from your dad.

(no I haven’t decided on a concrete Bruce design yet. Yes he will change in every drawing until I feel happy with how he looks.)

I just wanted to draw eyes in all honesty. Also I just realized that technically this is the first time I’ve drawn Bruce so that’s fun. You can pry brown eyed Bruce Wayne out of my cold dead hands.