Character Death - Blog Posts

"My dear, I have become so familiar with the loss of loved ones that death now seems like family and my grave feels like home."

#17

Danny had avoided thinking about it because, frankly, he didn't want to. At first, it hadn't occurred to him that any of his friends could possibly die before him. The time loop usually made sure of it. It never lasted long enough for him to reach past 30, and even then it had been a stroke of luck that he didn't much care to repeat...(Ugh, taxes.)

Then he killed Eli and watched his family and friends mourn him, from afar. They didn't know it was him who had done it, but all the same, he couldn't bare look them in the eyes. Not when they sobbed at his funeral. Not when little Yenna was constantly searching for her father and waiting for him to come back from "the nice place". He had willfully blinded himself with the excuse that "it wasn't permanent", and "the next loop he would be fine". Daniel Park was below scum.

Then Robin had come along a few loops later. Poor, kind, patient Robin, who had taken him to the deepest, darkest parts of his consciousness and had still sought to bring him redemption. She, who had glimpsed at the murderer in juvi uniform and still saw something...something worth saving...something good.

The process had been long and grueling, with many violent episodes and tearful breakdowns, but in the end, Daniel Park had emerged a different man. A man who could once again look people in the eye and didn't shy away from mirrors and sleep. A man who had understood his mistakes and who would strive to do better, to be better.

That was what he had told himself.

That was what he had lied about to everyone.

Daniel was not better. He wasn't good. He wasn't kind. He wasn't patient and forgiving and good! He wasn't...good. In his memories, the boy who had been willing to befriend those who had once wronged him and attempt to redeem them was dead.

It only took one hit to prove him right.

One blow towards his Jay's already unmoving body...

He had snapped.

It had taken him three loops and a bit of the fourth to stop. His anger had only partially been quelled by the bloodshed.

That's why he was here. In front of that same crisp white door with a little metal plaque on it. Danny tried to steady his breath and rose a trembling hand to the door. Knock! Knock!

"Come in!" Dr. Robin Lim's voice sounded from the other side.

(Robin Lim)

#13

It wasn't uncommon for certain physical traits, mostly scars, and tattoos to travel loops with Daniel. It was, however, extremely inconvenient when fresh injuries would travel over with him.

That's how Daniel found himself kneeling over in an alleyway, bleeding profusely from one eye and covered in bruises. One of his arms had a few patches of missing skin that had been scraped off when he skidded down the pavement after a pick-up had rammed straight into him. Someone had ordered a hit on him in the last loop. The boy had been ambushed by over a thousand trained and armed men and when he'd finally made his escape leaving their limp bodies behind he had been hit head-on and thrown through a glass panel. Then he was hit again just as he was regaining his bearings and finally died from the trauma.

Tentatively he reached with shaky fingers and touched his swelling eye. It felt gummy and something liquid was leaking out, but thankfully it was already numbed by the effects of time travel. At least that was one good thing he could get out of his 'predicament', his body didn't hurt. In a few hours, it would start to, as the effects of the loop wore off, and by then he would probably be writhing in a hospital bed (if he even made it there), but for now, he could focus on figuring out when and where he was.

"Fuck!"

He spun around in a panic, coming face to face with a certain black-eyed male looking at him incredulously. Danny tried to square his shoulders and straighten his back, but his abdomen was bleeding profusely and he had to keep one hand in place to slow the flow of he blood. As he was, half-leaning onto the wall with one arm while looking like he would collapse at any minute he was pretty sure he didn't look intimidating enough to get the male to leave him alone.

"Fuck!"Gun repeated, as if not believing what he was seeing.

Danny steeled his nerves and tried to slightly shift his body into a fighting stance but failed, his right leg almost giving away beneath him. He was sent stumbling right into the wall, but kept his head up, glowering and showing his teeth in an almost animalistic threat not to get closer. It didn't matter that he was slowly dying, he wouldn't let a bastard like him have the satisfaction of seeing him vulnerable.

"You" He paused as if unsure of himself "You need medical attention"

"Yeah, no shit" The injured boy spat out alongside a few flakes of blood.

The fighting maniac shifted from one foot onto another and looked around hesitantly. Daniel stifled a disbelieving snort. Was he actually debating on being a decent human being for once and helping him out? He hoped that was just wishful thinking on his part because if it wasn't, surely something must've gone terribly wrong with this loop!

"Who?"

Danny just let out a scratchy hum in inquiry. He very much doubted he could keep this up much longer, already feeling like his insides were going to spill out at any moment. He was really pushing his luck right now, but the boy found he didn't care much. The loop would reset and his wounds would probably disappear. Death was just another part of the circle, something he had come to accept could happen at any time.

"Who did this? Who could have beaten you so bad? You, who just a few days ago fought me and broke my arm like it was second nature to you!? You're a fighting genius! This should be possible! How is this possible?" His voice began showing traces of hysteria and Danny rolled his eyes. The stock he put in his own skills would have seemed warranted to him before the loops, but now that he had far surpassed him, Gun only seemed like a lunatic with illusions of grandeur and a perverse way of seeing the world.

A rough, dry laugh fell past his bloodied lips, startling the raving man out of his hysteria. He turned just in time to see blood pooling beneath the boy, whose body had slid down the wall and onto the concrete, leaving behind a trail of crimson. He gurgled a mouthful of blood just as the Japanese man rushed towards him, and Daniel Park slumped over lifeless, his face twisted in a mocking grin and his eyes fixed forward, dull and unseeing.

A full-body shiver ran through Gun and he silently despaired at losing such a promising fighter with so much untapped potential. He could have been his masterpiece or even his rival. It wasn't fair!

With shaking hands (why were his hands shaking?) he pulled out a cigarette. It took him three tries before he managed to light it and finally took a mouthful of the addictive smoke(just don't think about it). Slowly, the substance calmed him down enough to get up and clumsily stumble off to god knows where(it happens, people die all the time). Without realizing it, Gun reached the port and sat down on the cold concrete, hypnotized by the sea. His hands were dripping red, staining his expensive clothes (when had he touched the blood?).

"Maybe...Maybe I should've..."

The sound of crashing waves covered his words. He stood there for a while longer, until his phone began blowing up and night had fallen. He threw his phone into the water carelessly and sat back down. The sun rose over the horizon like it always did, and a single man, waiting on the docks was there to greet it. (Death could not be undone)

In another timeline, Danny felt the sudden urge to yell SIKE!

#10

Once was already too much. Twice was beyond cruelty. Thrice...thrice was not meant for the human mind to comprehend.

So when you have to do it a thousand times and then some you become rather desensitized to certain things that could make others writhe.

That's how Daniel found himself looking up at the paling faces of his friends, vaguely aware that his body wasn't supposed to be able to bend that way. There were tears, of course, pleading for him to say awake, to hold on until the ambulance arrived. The worst part though was the reassurances, because both parties knew by that point that they were just wishful thinking.

Like, no Zack, I just got hit by a truck going over 200 km/h, I'm not going to be okay! The bloodied boy tried to voice these words but they only came out as strangled moans, which elicited more sobs and, to his everlasting indignance, shushing.

"Nnnghn hngh!" (Don't shush me!)

"It's going to be okay."

"Mnghnh mnmnth nghgh ghngfngh mnghnghhtt! mnggggg hnghnght mthght." (Vasco, I adore you but I'm literally twisted like play-doh and I think I can feel my bones trying to escape my body and form their own army for world domination!!)

"Shh, just hang on."

Danny shot him a dirty look, though he had to guess which one of his friends the bald white egg shushing him was. Probably Jin, he had always been a little bitch like that. If he squinted the alien-like thing looking down on him was pretty similar to the dumbass.

"Mhnh mgthhhhh-." (Bitch if you shush me one more-)

"Shhh" Zack placed his finger on his lips, before quickly retracting his hand and massaging the bite marks on his pointer with what was supposed to be aggravation. The tears and snot running down his face ruined the image.

Finally, through the constant ringing in his ears, Daniel could distinguish the sound of sirens. People shuffled around him and someone tried to get his attention, but their voice turned to mush in his ears. He threw one last look at his friends and reached towards Jay through the paramedics.

"Mnh nhghn Macarena mngh." (Bae, you need to play Macarena at my funeral!)

And with that, the world went black. Then white, then black again. Then he came upon himself, literally.

"They did a pretty good job with my body, you can't even tell that half of these are missing" He poked at one of his limbs, his translucent finger going right through it. There was no bone, just a metal rod kipping the arm in place.

Danny shuddered and retracted his hand as if he had been burned. No matter how many times he ended up as a ghost it never got less weird touching things. He shrugged and floated upwards, passing through the lid of the casket and angling his body so that he no longer felt like he was lying down. Gravity didn't apply to ghosts, so getting his body to sit straight was really tricky until you got the hang of it.

The venue was pretty packed, with people balling their eyes out. They were all dressed in black and looking at a picture of him smiling that had been propped on a stand near his casket. In the front row was his mother, at whose appearance he cringed.

It never got easier seeing her so utter;y devastated, but that was always the way it went when he died, his bigger body would vanish without a trace, and his smaller one would remain, lifeless. His eyes scanned over the other people at the venue trying to get the image of her dull eyes and sunken cheeks out of his mind.

Next to his mother was his beloved jay. Oh, how he wanted to wrap his arms around the boy and wipe those tears that never stopped rolling down his exquisite face! Instead, he caressed his darling's cheek lovingly, making the boy shudder at the feeling of sudden coldness. He didn't dare linger, unable to bare the heartbreaking sight of his lover's grief.

If Daniel had been drinking he would have done a spit-take right then and there. (Was it disrespectful to spit at your own funeral?)

Nestled between a sobbing Crystal and a mostly-unbothered Kouji was Diego Kang himself, having a whispered conversation with an ashen-faced Gun. The latter must've taken the death of his masterpiece and the subsequent disappearance of Daniel's bigger self as quite the blow. 'He did waste a lot of time training me and seemed very eager to get taller me to be his...something, whatever that was...' the boy mused, making his way across from them and to the audio system. He didn't have time to ponder such things. He was a ghost on a mission.

Possessing humans was rather simple if tiring, but messing around with electronics had always been a favorite of his whenever he ended up as a wandering specter. The speakers, placed strategically in the four corners of the room, simultaneously crackled to life, startling the people in attendance, before:

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena Hey Macarena, ay

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena Hey Macarena, ay

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena Hey Macarena, ay

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena Hey Macarena, ay

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena Hey Macarena, ay!

#7

Daniel wasn't born invincible, although most people wouldn't be able to tell you that. Even in the first loop, he had first crawled through the filth before reaching the top. But it hadn't been enough. This is why, in every loop after that one, for at least a few dozen of them he had approached people like Gun, Goo, and Diego to teach him. Some were harder to convince than others and some would downright refuse to teach him until he found a way to prove to them he was worthy. He had to do things that he didn't dare to remember some days.

He remembered the first time he was made to kill.

His second loop, Gun had been much crueler than he usually was. He made his two masterpieces fight to the death, just for the sake of it. Daniel orphaned a little girl that day. He couldn't bare to look in the mirror for weeks, but he pushed on. He needed to be stronger! So, the boy-turned-killer gritted his teeth and force-fed himself sleeping pills every night.

The second time he killed it came much easier.

Perhaps because he was still reeling from the first one. It was only a few weeks after Eli's blood had covered his hands that another lay before him with his neck broken. It had been so easy it was gut-churning, like breaking a particularly tough twig. He emptied the contents of his stomach in a bush nearby, but couldn't find it in himself to regret it very much. It was horrifying to realize he regretted getting caught and ending up in juvie more than killing Zoe's stalker.

The third time's the charm, right? It wasn't.

That night he stumbled into a bar and drank himself into obliviousness to forget the feeling of a too-small boy beneath the tips of his fingers. He had killed a kid, not much younger than himself, a year at maximum, but a kid! The feeling of bile rising in his throat hadn't left him for the entire loop. When he woke up he was in a cell, with policemen looking down at him with a mix of disgust and horror. They regarded him as a monster, and Daniel deserved it. It didn't take long to get a confession out of him and back to juvie he went. It didn't matter, the phantom touch lingering whenever he clutched his fist was still there.

When the fourth came he still cried.

By the time of the fifth, he lost his appetite completely.

The sixth came with mandatory visits to the therapist's office.

The seventh brought on a new therapist and sturdier cuffs.

It helped, incredibly. There was no more killing in that loop, and the couple that followed.

The eight was accidental, and it left Daniel screaming and crying, and vomiting hysterically. He wasn't locked up for that one, but he somehow found his way back to the therapist's office. The first one he tried had left him with a bitter taste on his tongue. The second one knew exactly which buttons to push. It was a miracle Daniel didn't end up with a ninth corpse to the ever-growing pile attached to his name.

Finally, after a lot of breakdowns and unhelpful psychologists, Danny ended up meeting a nice lady by the name of Robin Lim, who managed, with an amount of ungodly patience and calm, to get through to him. It wasn't a sudden catharsis that left him feeling the office a thousand tons lighter, but it was like the steady flow of a stream, growing quicker and bigger every day until he could finally breathe without feeling like he was choking on air.

Robin remained Daniel's therapist for over eight loops until he finally came to terms with what he had and most likely would again do. He managed to establish a system of what to do when it happened again and how to manage his inner turmoil so that it didn't spill into something dangerous, either for himself or others.

While the looping had the effect of twisting his morals to the extreme sometimes, Daniel was always careful to keep a grip on his emotions and try to use the techniques Robin had taught him to regulate those that could become a threat. It wasn't perfect (the seemingly, only imperfect thing about him now), but it worked and it made him view the world in another light.

It was both surprising and not that he now understood Jinho, to a certain level. He knew what it felt like to be given a ray of light and not manage to cling to it no matter how hard he struggled. He had been pathetic and weak and selfish in a way that made him both better and so much worse than the scrawny boy. Better because he had learned from it and strived to make himself the best possible version despite his worries, insecurities, paranoia, and tilted moral compass. Worse because, unlike Jinho, he had succeeded and killed people to further his own selfish goals.

At the end of the day, the imperfect-perfect boy remained a human, one who struggled and hurt and cried. As long as he kept a tight leash on the part of him that could make others struggle and hurt and cry (and even worse) he kept going, trying to find a way to end the cycle and keep the people he loved safe.

Even if that meant entire loops-worth of counseling and breakdowns, he would do it. For those he cherished? Anything.

blehh. i know i need to write to finally return from my hiatus but i can’t just post unfinished slop on ao3. luckily, this place exists!!

Beware of the story that lay ahead!

warnings: pretty bloody and gore-y(?), perhaps a little gay. non-graphic depictions of violence!

summary: gabriel and v1 at the end of a fight, the robot does just a little thinking.

Staring up at Gabriel with a large yellow optic was the damned machine, cast down from Earth into the bowels of Hell. Blood and dents and cuts rended open with clawed gauntlets littered their chassis, whatever odd mixture of oil and biological matter they had in there leaking out pathetically onto the floor below.

Justice and Splendor framed their head, the regal blades stained with essence both angelic and inanimate. Angels were supposed to bleed ichor, and yet here he was, a distinct red drip-dripping down from the chin of his helmet.

V1 would laugh were the blood enough to heal. But it landed against their plating uselessly, drying and clotting easily in Hell’s heat. They both panted, or at least would if either of them had the lungs for it. Gabriel’s side had long since been blasted open with a clever hit of buckshot, and V1 was severed into pieces like a cheap toy.

Each fight had been like a dance. The first was wide evasion, dashing and running and pushing and pulling. Each hit and miss was the rock of a boat, swaying their world back and forth with displays of rage and power. The second — this one — had been close and personal. Grappling hands and clinging nails, feet stubbornly dug into the floor and weapons all but forgotten in the proximity.

And they were beautiful. Together, in their blood and weapons, stuttering fans and coughs, fists and bullets and blades. Separate in V1’s precise design and Gabriel’s empty aura that dared brush up against their being, bringing them back together once again. It was all V1 could think as Gabriel joined them with the plunge of Splendor through their chest: they were beautiful.

Call of abyss

Warning: religion, violence implicite, murder, platonic relationship, limb amputation, main character death, post-manor.

Since you were little you were always told that there was only one God, that there was no one else but him and that all the other gods that people praised were pagan gods, beings that did not really exist and that they were blasphemy and those who believed in other gods were sinners . It sounded so stupid, people who believed in the existence of other gods.

Wouldn't they think the same of the beliefs of others?

You know why they told you about that, they didn't want you to believe in another god, specifically the supposed goddess who lived in the same town, Grace, the adopted daughter of a family.

From the moment that Grace had arrived in town, the drought had ended, at that time you were not yet born.

You had watched as a group of children chased after a girl, Grace, maybe a year or two older than you. You watched from the legania, as they were sneaking out, with morbid curiosity of how all this would end, you decided to follow them.

You hid behind some trees, analyzing the situation, it seemed that Grace had gotten into a lake, the children who were chasing her were on the shore, telling her things that you were not able to hear from a distance.

You waited a long time, until they left, leaving little Grace alone. You watched a little longer, waiting for her to come out of the water but she just didn't.

"If you don't get out of there, you'll shrivel up like a dried fruit."

Grace turned towards the shrill voice, looked at another child, somewhat younger than her.

She just watched, didn't say anything, just watched the child carefully.

"Can't you talk?" Asked.

She did not answer.

You analyzed what you got to see of his appearance, his wavy hair with a strange color, but not only that was what caught your attention, but also the gills on his neck.

Grace noticed that you were looking at her gills, she quickly hid in the water up to below her nose.

"If you think I came to bother you like them, no, I was just curious to see you."

Her eyes widened, somewhat surprised.

"I heard from my parents that most of the town believes that you are a deity or something. They want me to stay away from you." You looked down at your tiny feet. "It's kind of silly, isn't it?"

You didn't know when, but Grace had come to the edge of the lake, curious as to what you had to say.

You looked her straight in the eye, making her a little nervous.

"Want to be friends?" You extended your hand to her, expecting her to take it.

Grace looked doubtfully at your outstretched hand, it was like that for a long time. Maybe she didn't want friends and she preferred her solitude, you were about to lower her hand when she took it.

You looked at her with a big smile.

Since then, you and Grace would see each other secretly from your parents, you knew what would happen if they discovered you.

At first Grace kept a distance between you and her, she still didn't fully trust you, it was understandable.

You were trying to gain Grace's trust through gifts, things you found around that were interesting to you and so you thought that maybe Grace would be interested in it.

Perhaps a flower, a dead insect or an object that people threw away because it no longer served them.

To Grace, you were someone… weird, and she liked that.

"What do you think Grace of this?" You showed him a butterfly, perched on your ring finger, with slightly torn wings.

Little by little, your relationship with Grace was improving, she already had enough trust in you.

And with that, the years passed, Grace was already bigger and her beauty stood out.

There were still people who saw Grace as a miracle child. And your parents still believed that she was blasphemous.

Everything had gone normally during those years, until that day came…

Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end.

It started when the drought started once again, I was seeing shortages in fishing again and people only saw one person to blame, Grace.

Everyone turned against her, the people who believed that there was only one God, including your parents, excused that the drought had returned since they had made the true God angry and he had punished them for such an offense and that the only way that this will forgive them was to give him a sacrifice, to the false goddess, Grace.

You put yourself in front of the scared Grace, she had been caught in a fishing net and she couldn't escape they were completely surrounded. It only remained to try to make people see reason, but they did not want to listen.

They called you an accomplice of the false goddess, they decided that God needed not only one sacrifice… but two, the false goddess and her blasphemous companion.

Your parents did not object, they saw with absolute shame how their own descendant had decided to choose to follow the fraud and that you deserved the same punishment as her.

People did not hesitate, they threw you to the ground, they took out a butcher knife with a worn and rusty edge.

"No! No! No! ” you shook desperately, trying to free your limbs, they held tighter. You watched in fear as tears fell along with the cold sweat on your body as the weapon was raised.

"We will start with the blasphemous companion, so that the phony can see what awaits her."

“Grace! ”

The butcher knife hurtled down toward your feet, slamming into the bone, shredding the meat in the process.

A cry of pain escaped your mouth, you jerked faster, just like a fish out of water, trying to jump away.

From the small space that allowed you to see the bodies that supported you, you saw Grace. She cried, seeing how you suffered, without being able to do anything.

"Grace-" Another blow from the knife to your feet made you yell louder. Losing eye contact with Grace.

It went on like this over and over again, until finally your feets were ripped off your legs, following these, they shredded them until they were completely useless.

At some point you stopped feeling pain, you could hardly hear anything and your vision was blurred by tears.

Your suffering was not enough for people, they took your face in their hands forcing you to see how they did the same to Grace.

Everything was so unlucky, why? God, if you exist… Why do you allow this to happen? What fault do we have? Do we not matter to you? You are so cruel…

At some point, they had tied you and Grace to an anchor, you couldn't think what they would do anymore. Why an anchor? What will they do?

The strong impact of the water hitting your body and Grace's awakened your senses one last time, the cold water sent chills throughout your body, your amputated legs left a trail of blood in the water, the contact of your wounds with the water it burned It was extremely irritating, you just wanted it all to be over at once.

You felt the water in your lungs, slowly losing consciousness and the last thing on your mind was Grace, you couldn't see her, only her hair moving in the water.

Your hand trailed towards Grace's hand, trying to intertwine your fingers with hers.

Slowly everything turned black, it was cold, too cold, that annoying beep intensified and you didn't feel anything. Unfortunately you didn't feel how Grace's fingers joined between yours and little by little they began to change…

It was fun while it lasted.

Kagehina - My celestial being

I hope you enjoy this! First time writing on Tumblr! Welp I write requests too so don't be afraid to drop in one! I'd love to write! Also gonna post a prompt list in some time, you can choose the prompt and character. Thanks!

Kageyama has been fond of nature ever since he was a kid. For him, it was entrancing how the moon seemed to keep up with him when no one else would, how the sun is always peeking up the horizon, or how the stars twinkle and light up the darkest nights.

Out of all these, the stars held a place in his heart nothing could replace. Why? The reason being his very beloved soulmate, Hinata.

“Tell me, Boke” Kageyama said softly, staring at the azure sky and the tiny astral bodies glimmering “Do you think people turn into stars once they die?”

“Well for one, we literally decompose or turn into ashes” Hinata’s soft chuckle soon turned into a sad and thoughtful smile as he continued, “Kags, death is not as pretty and peaceful nor is it poetic like people portray it to be, it exists, and it’s pretty much the end? It’s like having to leave everything in a moment's notice. Because it is the end, it’s sad”

He tilts his head to stare into his favourite pair of blueberry eyes, “But you know what, It’s okay to look up at the starry sky and think of your loved ones who left this world. My mom used to say that the brightest star was my grandma looking down on me.”

A few moments of silence are shared while Kageyama ponders over Hinara’s words.

He finds comfort knowing that even if someone dies, you can always look up to the sky and find them there, looking down at you and always watching you no matter what. The very fact that death does not mean gone forever is warm and consoling.

“Hinata, we’ll always be under the same sky, right? Forever and ever?” Kageyama asks, sitting up slightly extending his pinky toward the older male, cracking a small smile when their fingers interlock.

“I promise!”

Promises are not meant to be commemorative or colossal. Just a few words that has you looking forward to something is enough to become a promise

**********************************

“Today was long…. Very long and tiring” Kageyama says stretching and walking to sit down next to Hinata in the cool grass, inhaling the scent of the pine trees surrounding the house, “But I’m glad you’re here with me”

“You know I’ll always be here with you no matter what” Hinata smiles, as he rests his head against a pine tree behind him.

The black-haired boy slightly grins as he stares at the twinkling night sky littered with stars. He reaches out his hands in an attempt to pinpoint the brightest one.

“What are you doing, Kags?” His lover asks curiously with a melancholic smile on his face.

“I… I am…. I am reaching out for you” Kageyama quietly whispers as tears he’d been holding back started flowing down his face, “Hinata, I want to be there with you, set to you, laugh and play volleyball, hold you and just…. Love you for eternity but … I will forget you one day…. Right?”

The older boy nods ever so slowly, a tranquil expression on his face as he began, “That is the beauty of life isn’t it? No matter what happens, no matter how low and hard you fall, life goes on and because life goes on, you eventually heal and move on as well. That’s just how it works”

“I… I don’t want to forget you… I don’t want to move on, there’s only one thing I want and that is you. I want you to come back.” Kageyama let’s out a soft and exasperated sigh, closing his fist around the brightest star he can see.

“Kags, it’s okay, You have to move and meet new and amazing people. You have to find a new perfect spiker for you. Someone capable and worthy of your perfect sets. You have to live on because you are alive. But hey, don’t worry, I’ll always be here looking over you and protecting you. For I am your brightest star aren’t I?”

For death does not mean gone. Despite you not being alive, you live on in people you’ve met in your lifetime, the words you’ve spoken and the countless memories you’ve created.

**********************************

Kageyama rushes into his house, throwing his jacket onto the couch upon entering with a gold medal dangling around his neck. He makes his way excitedly toward the balcony of the open plant sanctuary. His heart beats with thrill as he places his hands on the railings of the balcony. He tightens his grip as he stares at the night sky.

“Say… Hinata, are you proud of me?” He lifts her gold medal and places a gentle kiss on it, “We won the olympics today. Just like I had promised you, I’d become the best setter, and set perfectly for another…. And win...” He chuckles softly continuing, “Everyone went out to celebrate except for me, you’re still the first person I share my happiness and sadness with...”

“I am so very proud of you, Kags. So much so that no amount of words could describe it.” Hinata smiles back widely, a luminous glow surrounding him under the pale moonlight. “You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been and I am eternally grateful to know you feel the same way”

“Hey… Why are you crying? Today is a happy day isn’t it? Your dream came true!” The older boy states quietly, heart aching at the sight.

“What if… What if I never move on Hinata? What if I’m stuck right here forever, searching for you? What if I can never forget you?”

“HEY! You don’t have to forget me! It’s okay to remember me and love me, and cherish all our moments together” Hinata smiles gently, “but you are already doing amazing… You get up each day and live, you’re moving on slowly but surely, Kageyama you may not realise it right now but every little step is a big step toward healing.”

And Hinata is right

Healing is not linear, it’s not sudden. You don’t wake up feeling okay one day, that’s not how it works. It’s rough and patchy and requires a lot of work. You fall down again and again, you do well on some days while the others are absolutely trashy. You want to give up but you don’t, you keep living because you are alive, because it is something you must do.

And you don’t even realise that these ordinary tasks of everyday life are a step towards growth and healing.

Moving on doesn't mean forgetting the people you loved, it doesn’t mean letting go of what is no longer in your sight and control, it means life goes on and you live on.

Kageyama has been fond of nature since he was a kid because nature is warm, like a blanket of love, on cold rainy days.

And what more does anyone desire from life except for being loved and protected?

THE END

Casket of stone

AN: So this is kinda like a prt 2 to secret but not rlly (Im prob gonna do this gif more than once but anyways)

POV: Idk

Warnings: Fluff? Angsty?

A gorgon and a dragoness (in human form) quickly walked through the halls of their school, holding each other’s hand. The dragonesses wings fluttering gently as they rushed towards the forest bordering their school. As they stepped into the forest and out of eyesight of other students, the dragoness smiled.

“Hey.” She breathed lazily draping her arms around his shoulders.

“Hey.” He breathed back, placing a stray bit of hair behind the girl’s ear and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her close. The two had been dating for little over a year now however were yet to tell their friends and classmates about their relationship. This meant they had to do a lot of sneaking around to hide their relationship. Of course, they didn’t mind, as long as they were together.

They moved further into the forest, into a small clearing, before the dragoness placed a kiss onto the gorgon’s lips. The gorgon looked down at her fondly when they’d pulled away before kissing her again.

“You’re so beautiful Y/n.” He whispered, holding her to his chest.

“As are you Deuce.” She whispered back, moving her head off his chest to gaze into his glasses-covered eyes.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” He murmured, burying his face in her hair.

Suddenly they heard a twig snap somewhere nearby and a voice call out from nearby “Deuce? Are you in here?”

The couple’s heads shot up as they quickly ran the opposite direction through the forest, desperate to avoid their relationship being found out. When they had finally gotten away Y/n, of whom was a few steps ahead of Deuce started laughing as she panted, slowly turning around, however as she did so Deuce tripped over a tree branch, he caught himself however his glasses flew off his face, landing on the ground in front of Y/n. Y/n didn’t notice this however and turned fully around, her eyes looking straight into Deuces.

“Deuce” She giggled “We got away- oh…”

She looked down to see her legs slowly turning to stone.

“No.” Deuce breathed rushing towards her “I’m so, so sorry Y/n, I’ll fix this I find a way, please, please don’t leave me… I love you.”

She smiled at him gently placing her hand on his cheek as her waist slowly turned to stone.

“It’s okay Deuce, I love you, I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you, you have been the most important person in my life since we first met, you're so dashing, and sweet. I'm so sorry, we won't be able to be together anymore, regardless, don't blame yourself, I love you. I'm sorry." She breathed as she turned completely into stone.

Deuce broke down into sobs as the girl he loved turned into a statue, destined to remain trapped in a casket of stone.