Conclave - Blog Posts

Honestly the funniest part of Conclave was every character whipping out their reading glasses whenever they needed to look at something because they're all old as fuck and can't see.

I love it when Conclave said oh so the church is able to break with tradition when it comes to iphones, vapes, rolling suitcases, and steel-fortified window coverings, but not when it comes to feminism, pluralism, and the nuances of sex and gender. How interesting. Anyway, here is a remarkably sad old man.

kind of crazy that Cardinal Lawrence started the movie having a crisis of faith and depressed about not feeling God’s presence but the moment he decided to try to get over it and try to be Pope anyway God showed up and blasted the roof off the place directly over his head specifically to tell him to sit back down. Dad who hasn’t been home in months and then shows up at your little league game to boo

i liked this movie a lot

conclave is so funny bellini is like I do Not want to be pope. and lawrence is like okay you don't want to be pope. then bellini is like of COURSE i want to be pope you stupid idiot dipshit who wouldn't want to be the fucking pope. moron

CONCLAVE [2024] ↳ Isabella Rossellini as Sister Agnes Eminences, although we Sisters are supposed to be invisible, God has nevertheless given us eyes and ears...

CONCLAVE [2024] | The Pope had doubts about God? Never about God. What he had lost faith in was the Church.

conclave fever is taking over my body

thinking of the ending of conclave (2024) and those lingering shots on the papal vestments. the future and the foundation of the church, he who sits on the throne and is the face of it, wears white.

and the last shot of the movie. and those lingering shots on the women below. the future and the foundation of the church, they who maintain it without being lauded for it, wear white.

Conclave (2024) dir. Edward Berger

The funniest part for me is that I cannot fathom Lawrence/Lomeli being younger than the 75 he canonically is. He's an old grandpa. He's a tired old man who can't sleep, has migraines and complains about bad food he doesn't even eat. He is a friendly old man who smiles encouragingly at a 67 year old Benítez like he's his grandson, rambles to the younger folks about interesting tidbits he knows and then worries he's boring them. He can get stuck for hours staring at a painting He's passed by for the past few decades. He's worried for his fellow cardinals being claustrophobic when he exhibits the most claustrophobia anxiety out of all of them. His first thought when he sees someone coming up to him bearing bad news is 'oh no who died this time'. He takes the elevator up one floor. He is jealous of Benítez because he can bend over and easily put his shoes on in less than ten minutes while multitasking a whole ass conversation. He himself takes ten minutes to rock himself up from bed because his old frail body needs momentum to pick himself up. He survived cancer but because of it believes he's about to die any second. Hell, when considering his papal name he says John because, and I quote "it was traditionally a name associated with Pope's whose reigns were short; as he was certain his was bound to be." He thinks Tremblay's phone is a small prayer book. He falls asleep during the ballot where he gets 40 votes. He's so old he just wanted to retire and his boss told him no bitch and promptly died and now he's stuck being old and in charge of a high stress event while feeling insulted for being called a manager. He is so far removed from anything sex related he will try to avoid dealing with his next door neighbor's possible scandal at all costs and can't tell that he's attracted to his coworkers. Or when they're attracted to him. He sleeps with his hands crossed on his chest for Reasons. He doesn't want to be here, or anywhere for that matter. He doesn't know how to use a printer.

He had known what it was to desire, and to be desired, both by women and by men

"[Turtles] can live for so long, just taking things one step at a time, and at the end, when the turtle ends up close to Cardinal Lawrence, it beat all the odds to make it all the way there. So it's a reflection also on himself, not just on Benítez." -Carlos Diehz, who plays Cardinal Benítez, to Letterboxd on the significance of the Conclave turtle

Conclave (2024) dir. Edward Berger

walking my turtle

Bellini: I hear they're shipping us

Lawrence, distressed: to where

Conclave (2024)

probably a good thing they didn't choose thomas as pope or he would've jumped right off that balcony

cardinal lawrence doing an asmr video where he prays for an hour and falls asleep and snores lightly inbetween the prayer until he wakes up and keeps going. the video has 3.2k views, 185 likes and bellini has commented "amen 🙏" 4x anonymously

I put all my conclave stuff here because I dont want anyone to get high hopes there is more conclave stuff LOL

as a chicagoan this is so funny 😭😭😭

our father, who art in chicago,

conclavement

I cannot stop pronouncing “Conclave” as “Conk Lave”

what the fuck is conclave i keep seeing it everywhere why does everyone love it so much