Gun: Danny is playing hard to get. Gun: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Danny: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart-shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Jay: I wrote you a poem. Danny, already crying: You did?
Gun: I think we should kiss. Danny: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.
Did Danny died an embarrassing way >in one of the loop? Like basically died from getting aroused, died from cuteness or any form of weird way to die in your list.
Jay was dangerous, Danny concluded. Even with his anti-cuteness swimming goggles and gas mask he was still vulnerable and had not been able to withstand the sight of his beloved in a bunny onesie. At least he died honorably, for a noble cause! A manly tear slid down his cheek garnering him odd looks from his friends.
The loop had ended coincidentally after his death and he had been swiftly transported into the middle of lunch in the cafeteria while still suffering the after-effects of his blissful demise.
"It was all worth it!" He shouted slamming his fist onto the table, causing Zoe who was next to him to startle and accidentally flip her plate over. Everyone stopped to stare as the hot liquid began pooling over the table while Daniel just sat and stared like a dumbass [he was one].
The table suddenly explode into a flurry of movement as everyone tried to get away from the table while simultaneously balancing their own trays and trying to find something to wipe the soup.
"What the hell was that?!" Zack glared at him from over the table after they finally managed to clean it up.
A spark of mischief appeared in Danny's eyes as he leaned over the table placing his hands together under his chin. Jay could neither confirm nor deny that his heart skipped a beat as the boy's lips curled into a devilishly handsome smirk (it did).
"Zack, buddy-buddy, old pal, have you ever seen the" he swept his eyes over Mira tellingly "object of your affection in a cute white bunny onesie?"
Jay's breath hitched when he locked eyes with the dark-haired boy. His eyes were a mirror of his own love and affection, displayed clearly for all to see. Daniel was shamelessly admiring him in the way one would admire a piece of artwork and the realization made him blush to the very tips of his ears. Meanwhile, Zack was suffering from the same fate while shooting longing looks towards a distracted Mira.
Suddenly Jay realized how one could love from afar for so many years and never once get sidetracked even if their heart's treasure lay unaware of their affections. And for the first time, he wondered why Daniel looked like he had loved him for a thousand years and why? Why would he have loved him so and to what end? It didn't matter, if in the end he always ended up forgetting...
Jay: I feel like doing something stupid. Danny: I’m stupid, do me.
It began as you would expect, Daniel did something stupid. It wasn't meant to be stupid, but as most of the time-loopers endeavors, it ended up that way. Was it the will of the universe or was it just pure danielness? We'll never know.
"What is that?" Hudson shrieked when he entered the room, although he would deny this fact till the end of his days.
"I'm not a good Sia." Was the reply he got back.
Daniel stared owlishly at him from atop the crashed crystal chandelier whose remains were scattered all over the floor. An abomination of a neon-green mustache hung only barely from between his eyebrows and he was sporting a pair of squiggly antennas complete with foam eyes and taped on a sparkly pink headband that had seen better days. The smell of cheese puffs clung to him like a bad perfume, sending the blonde into a coughing fit the moment he opened the door.
"What the hell happened?" He finally managed to ask after regaining his bearings and using the fur coat to cover his nose and mouth (it smelled a bit like smoke and snake intestines but he wasn't complaining).
"He didn't kill anyone," Vasco assured unhelpfully from the side while poking at his own DIY eyes headband. "And these do look rather stylish on us!"
"And that's why the oaf didn't get into the fashion department, not that I think he had any business designing buildings and shit." Zack drawled from his seat, looking rather disgruntled with his own bright orange headband (which looked like it had been taped to his head with scotch).
Hudson gulped and took a step back, ramming straight into a blonde boy whose hair covered his eyes and who had appeared out of nowhere. He gulped again. Sure enough, he was adoring the same abomination of a headband, looking quite complacent with the crime against humanity that was his new accessory.
"Uh-" The Sun of Ansan began ever-so-eloquently. "We-we can talk about this guys-"
Before he had the chance to finish his sentence he was tackled from behind by what he could only describe as the second coming of the antichrist. His high-pitched screams echoed through the empty streets of Seoul and into the cold starless night.
--------------
Somewhere a black-eyed man unexplainably shivered. He paused and took a drag of his cigarette before turning to the large window overlooking the city.
"Something just happened."
if only he knew...what a menace to society his new masterpiece would become...
Danny: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Zack: What did you do? Danny: Nobody died. Zack: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Zack: How do I deal with my enemies? Danny: Kill them Zack: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution Danny: Kill them only a little?
Sammy: Daniel… Danny: Oh no, 'Daniel' in b-flat. Danny: You're disappointed.
Danny, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Eugene. Eugene: How did you do that without turning around? Danny: … To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
Danny: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things. Jay:[in jaynese] Hi, I’m ‘things’.
Zack: So are you two dating now? Danny & Jay: Yes. Zack: Why? Danny: I happen to find Jay very appealing. Zack: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Jay.
Zack: Don't stay up all night, Daniel. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.
Danny: Would you like something to drink? *He opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper- Eugene: Spiders? Danny: Spiders it is then. Eugene: No, that wasn't- * But he was already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders…*
Danny: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact. Zack: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
I remembered the Mommy Sammy loop and I was wondering - what if it was combined with the Little Daniel getting adopted by Big Deal loop? For example, what if Danny is adopted and the whole Johan incident happens soon after, but Sammy decided that she'll take her in under her wing. Female Johan and Samuel would be so cool.
Meanwhile, Danny is growing up and he realizes that Samuel and Johan are girls but Big Deal still hasn't realized it. Cue Daniel casually tring to tell Sinu and Yeonhui and the rest of Big Deal about it and them not believing him because what girl would be as much a psycho as those two (they think this with affection).
It would also be kinda fluffy since Samuel would probably stay with big deal and maybe try to legally become a business mogul (kind of like going to school and still making one mcn, just not with workers).
Idk I just thought it was a cool idea. Sorry for all the rambling.
"All of them are dumbasses," Daniel grumbled, kicking pebbles.
"Mhm." Sammy didn't even bother pretending otherwise, as she completed another test and began checking her answers.
Daniel had just returned from his usual daily attempt at opening Sinu and Jake's eyes regarding Sammy and Johane's gender. It had gone as expected, he got laughed at and sent on his way so the adults could 'do their job' (playing video games until 3 am). He had managed to convince Yeonhui a few weeks ago, as the girl was obviously much less dense than the two dunderheads leading the crew.
The time-looper trapped in a 7-year-old's body gave a long-suffering sigh, crouching near the steps on which his big sister figure was sat.
"They even had the gall to laugh in my face and tell me that I was making stuff up to avoid doing my homework. Can you believe that?!"
"The audacity." Samuel drawled making the tiny boy bristle even harder.
"You aren't even listening to me!" He shouted in annoyance, maybe a bit too loud for how late at night it was.
'Yep, definitely too loud' he sweatdropped when the lights in the building behind them turned on. A ruffled, half-asleep brown-haired girl made her way out after a few beats of silence, followed closely by her loyal companion. Eden took one look at them, deciding that whatever human business they were doing didn't affect him, and headed back in after a large yawn. Johane looked tempted to follow his example.
"What are you two doing?" She asked instead, plopping down beside Sammy. "You know you're going to ruin your eyes like that, right?"
Sammy looked up at her. She had a flashlight strapped to her head and was checking her answers in pink glitter pen while the book was precariously balanced on one of her knees. The buff girl pointedly pushed her glasses up her nose.
"You know what I meant." Johane huffed "You're going to damage your eyes even more, then you'll have to wander around like a blind bat before age 30. And what's gotten in you, pup, why'd you shout at 1 in the morning like a damn prairie dog?"
The child shuffled his feet, the tips of his ears reddening.
"I didn't mean for it to be that loud. It's just that the guys-"
"What guys?"
"Sinu and Jake" Sammy supplied
"-are being such idiots that it's starting to really irk me!"
Johane paused, probably still a bit slow from tiredness and trying to gather her thoughts and articulate them in a kid-friendly way.
"Did you just now notice?" Was all she managed to come up with. "I mean, they've been like that since-"
"Forever." Sammy completed her sentence, closing the book and turning off the flashlight before turning to face her two younger siblings figures. "So those fuckers can't take the fact that me and her were born with vaginas and boobs. What are you gonna do about it? It's not as if you can force them to change their minds..."
The maniac smirk that spread on the beastie's face (She thought him that! That was her greatest achievement in raising the little hellspawn and no one could deny it!) made her pause. Sammy knew how devious the brat could be, but as she thought back to what she had said offhandedly just now, the Economical Studies students could already predict his thought process.
"Thanks, Sammy! You just gave me a great idea, I knew those crocodiles with lightsabers would come in handy again!" He ran up to the buff girl and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before running off.
"What have we just unleashed?" Sammy pondered out loud.
"And where is my kith?" Johanne slurred already half-leaning onto her shoulder.
Danny:Oh fiddlesticks! Zack: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.
Danny: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress. Robin: Robin:...
Vasco: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Zack: You're a hazard to society Danny: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
"Jesus..."
"Actually, It's Daniel."
Zack craned his neck to look at the tiny figure sitting atop the - frankly massive - pile of bodies. He had stumbled upon the sight on accident and frozen in shock, mouth agape. If he looked more closely all the bodies seemed to belong to well-built muscly men who, judging by the various bats and DIY weapons strewn on the ground, had been armed. This was no accident, but a coordinated attack that had been thwarted by...by a toddler?
"Uhh..." Zack said, ever so eloquently.
The midget turned around a did a backflip (and almost gave the boxer a heart attack in the process), landing in front of him with a large toothy smile. Now that they were standing next to each other he seemed even smaller, no way older than 5, Zack noted after he stopped gaping. He wore what looked like an old yellow t-shirt with a smiling cat, splatters of blood clear on the thin fabric, and a pair of brown cargo shorts. In the middle of December, at night.
Zack resisted the urge to voice some choice words about the kid's parents as another freezing wind cut through his own thick winter coat. He kneeled to be on eye level with the smiling little menace and extended his hand, deliberately slowly not to spook him.
"I'm Zack."
"Oooh, nice to meet you!" Daniel shook his hand eagerly.
'Yep, his hands are freezing', Zack thought bitterly, looking around for his guardian or someone that could resemble a responsible adult. He found none. The alleyway they were in was pretty out of the way, not a place where a child should be, although... judging by the piled gangsters behind him he could handle himself. A bead of sweat rolled down the boxer's cheek, 'Not even I could beat so many at the same time' and wasn't that saying something? Even after being trained by that monk, Gongseob Ji, there were still people who were stronger than him without even trying.
"Achoo!"
That broke him out of his thoughts, and he wasted no more time in unzipping his coat and scooping the child in his arms, before rezipping the coat with the midget's head poking out. Uncaring of what he must've looked like [*cough* pregnant *cough*] Zack got back up and began walking out of the alleyway.
"We're going to get you something warm to eat and then we can try to figure this whole thing out, mkay?"
The midget nodded his head furiously and gave him another blinding smile before settling on his chest like a happy cat. Neither spoke until they finally found an open convenience store. By the time they got what they wanted to eat and sat down in the little eating area of the shop it had begun snowing heavily. Zack put the kid on one of the stools, with his coat still wrapped around him before opening the two cups of instant noodles and pulling out the little bags of condiments. He kept an eye on Daniel as he moved to pour warm water from the dispenser. To his credit, the little one waited patiently, swinging his legs in the air, his eyes glued on the taller male as he prepared their meal.
"So, where are your folks, midget?" Zack asked as they waited for the noodles, trying to keep his tone light.
In spite of his efforts, the boy curled in on himself, his eyes dimming. 'Sore spot, then' he thought, making a mental note to avoid bringing it up again. He couldn't imagine anyone willingly abandoning this ray of sunlight of a child, so he assumed they must've been dead. 'Yes, that's the only explanation' Zack nodded to himself, before addressing Daniel again.
"Do you have anywhere to go?"
The kid nodded eagerly, but the boxer still had his reservations.
"Let me rephrase that, do you have anywhere to spend the night that you know you can reach and where you won't freeze to death?"
"Uhh."
"Right, so that's a no. Great!" Zack rubbed his forehead tiredly.
He pulled the top packaging off the cups of noodles and broke apart a pair of chopsticks mixing them into the steaming meal before handing it to the midget and doing the same for his own cup.
"Ah, thank you!" Daniel chirped before digging in like a starved child.
'He probably was' he thought bitterly, swallowing a mouthful of noodles. For a few minutes, all you could hear was the sound of them eating, but soon enough the boy pushed away his empty cup. Once more, Zack didn't hesitate or even find it weird how his arms moved on their own to place a small packet of chocolate biscuits in front of the kid's nose.
"Eat up, midget." he encouraged, cringing at how sappy he sounded. "Those aren't going to eat themselves."
'Damn it, why am I acting like this?!' The older boy bemoaned mentally, thankful that none of the people who knew him were here to witness how fucking soft this little menace was making him. After finishing his noodles Zack got up to throw the two cups away when he felt a tug on his sweater. Looking down he found an impossibly large pair of doe-like black eyes gazing uncertainly up at him.
'Ah, my heart!' he mentally clutched his heart which had been pierced by an arrow marked "CUTENESS".
"I'm just going to throw these away!" He quickly reassured the little one, gesturing towards the two empty cups in his hand.
"Are you going to come back?" Daniel asked in a small voice which nearly made the boxer kneel over.
"Of course! Of course! I'll be right back!" Zack assured before nearly sprinting to the trashcan and back, to the bewilderment of the cashier.
"See, right back!"
Daniel hummed happily in agreement with a big smile that made him ponder the benefits of having a pair of sunglasses always on hand. he would probably need a pair if he didn't want to go blind from this unbearably bright ray of sunshine. 'How has no one kidnapped him yet?' Zack wondered, sparking a flame of protectiveness in his chest.
You know how you hear people say that they see something, usually a small child or an animal, and go 'yeah, that's mine now'? That was exactly what happened at that exact moment in Zack The Wimp Lee.
Did it raise questions the next day when he showed up to fight with a toddler on his shoulders? Maybe. Did he care? Absolutely not. He kicked names and took ass looking like an absolute badass and a brilliant model for his new little brother. The highlight of his day was when some random extra tried to hit Daniel as a way of getting back at Zack and got promptly locked through a brick wall by a giggly 5-year-old waving around a purple dinosaur plush in one hand and a blueberry popsicle in the other. The looks on everyone's faces had been enough to make his week.
Daniel: If Vasco and I were drowning, who would you save? Zack: You two can’t swim? Daniel: It’s a hypothetical question, Zack! who would you save? Zack: my time and effort. Vasco: 😢
Danny: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Zack: Go the fuck to sleep Danny: What gif I don't want to? Zack: Fuck You
[Listen to don't threaten me with a good time while reading this, it just makes the whole experience better!]
"MINIONS!" Daniel hollered at the top of his lungs one bright Tuesday morning.
A chorus of "BANANA" echoed through the halls of J High and all the teachers sighed in the lounge. It was before classes began and they were, as usual just hanging around and chatting (gossiping) while grabbing their morning coffee or eating their breakfast.
"They're starting earlier today!" Mrs. Kim noted aloud, sipping on a fresh cup of herbal tea. Two of her colleagues hummed in agreement, unaffected.
It was none of their business what their students did, as long as it didn't affect them and they (Jay) paid for whatever they broke. They rarely even bothered leaving the teacher's lounge anyways!
Meanwhile, an army had assembled in the schoolyard, each looking more feral than the other. Half of them were practically vibrating out of their skins and the others looked ready to leap onto anything in sight and begin climbing until they either reached god and pulled him down to their level, or they fell and got a concussion. Daniel admired the effects of his all-sugar 7-day diet on the students. Yes, he was very proud of the army he had created!
"Minions!" He shouted from a precariously balanced tower of trash cans, effectively silencing the crowd. "We ride at dawn! Together we shall take Seoul for ourselves and rule as entities of the highest order of CHAOS! WHO'S WITH ME?"
The entire city trembled from the thundering cheers, and some even wondered if it was a small-scale earthquake that hadn't been announced on the news.
"BANANA! BANANA! BANANA!"
The J High Hellspawns cheered and shouted and whistled like wild animals. They stomped their feet and beat their chests with their fists with mighty roars. Then they settled back down and listened to their leader's instructions, eager to unleash terror and bananas all over the city. The architecture department was especially vocal, with Vasco hollering and throwing bananas in the air like confetti.
A shiver went down the spines of the poor unassuming people of Seoul. The smart ones took this as a premonition and got an early holiday out of the city. The rest were left to be pigs for slaughter, none the wiser. Fools.
The sunset and Daniel led the pandemonium with a mighty warcry, atop his beloved's motorbike, waving a broken broomstick on which a giant banana had been speared. Jay wore a banana crown, unbothered by his darling's antics, too busy trying not to blush from the muscular arm wrapped around his waist. He silently cheered them on as the Banana Cultist stormed the city, bananaing it from top to bottom, not leaving a single covered unbananaed and no person unconverted.
"HAHAHA! YES! LET THE PURGE BEGIN! BANANA!"
Danny: So that’s my plan. Zack: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean. Danny: No, go ahead, I want to hear it. Zack: It fucking sucks. Danny: That’s not constructive criticism.