Depressive. - Blog Posts
Show this show to your children. It will make them intelligent.
Ella no sabe....
Mi mama no sabe que me he parado en la orilla de un Puente agarrando me del barandal pensando si saltar o no Ella no sabe ni sabrá que estoy triste y enojada por todo lo que perdimos Ella no sabe cuán enojada estoy por todo lo que me robaron Ella no sabe que no puedo dejar que un chico me toque porque me da asco Ella no sabe cuantas noches he pasado llorando Ella no sabe cómo he apretado mis uñas contra mis mejillas al taparme la boca intentando no llorar para no preocupar la Ella no sabe nada de mi dolor Ella no sabe pero sabe... Sabe cómo gritarme cosas cada día más hirientes
— Por favor, por favor, déjame volver a dormir yo no quería volver a despertar— le supliqué muy despacio con muy poca voz....no me quizo escuchar — Please, Plese, let me go back to sleep, I didn't want to wake Up again anymore— I begged very slowly with a little voice .... They deos not want to hear
I'm not sure if it's okay to ask multiple requests (if so please feel free to ignore!), but I was wondering if I could also request Yae Miko/Beidou/Lisa comforting gn s/o through a bad depressive episode?
Multiple requests are allowed! :) I can't claim to be an expert regarding depression, so, figuring out what exactly is a "bad depressive episode" wasn't really easy... just like I'm not entirely confident with how effective this would be as comfort (besides writing for Beidou and Lisa for the first time). Thank you for the request nevertheless, I hope you like it despite the time it took!
Yae Miko, Beidou and Lisa comforting GN reader going through a bad depressive episode
Warnings: sensitive themes (depression), emotional
Yae Miko
You're no stranger to the fact she greatly enjoys midnight strolls
They help her soothe her mind after an exhaustingly unthrilling day at the shrine, or learning at Yae Publishing House that the competition dared to consume her market territory with their latest shabby release
Going for a walk so late also means that encounters with people are few, most of them are getting sleepy at this point anyway
This results in places being free of people's presence... typically, at least
Ambient music:
"Dear me, it appears we're crossing paths once again, S/O."
Her gaze immediately rests on you, as soon as she spots you, sitting on a rock by the beach beneath Inazuma City.
"Yae, I was... waiting for you, actually."
"Oh? Were you looking for my company, little one?"
You hum as you nod, inviting her at the same time to sit besides you on the rock.
"How considerate of you, I'll keep that in mind."
"It's also... the only pleasant thing I have nowadays, I fear..."
Her eyebrows lower in response, while your glance focuses back on the horizon of the sea, with the sound of the waves being the only ambient sound alongside the cicadas of summer nights.
"I just wonder... why do I even wake up in the morning...?"
Your hands rest flat on your laps, turning now into fists... though it's only a matter of seconds until her hand gently embrace one of your fists, caressing it a little in the process, as a subtle way to invite you to speak up. One of her tails peeks out meanwhile, surrounding your back and side in the next moment.
"Everyday, I just feel so... empty inside, so tired, no matter how long I sleep... or don't..."
"So what you're saying is... the darkness is consuming you from the inside, correct?"
"Yes..."
She exhales briefly, while her tail brings you a little closer from her. From this point on, you can also feel how her arm is wrapping around your shoulder, completing the tail's movement and now making your cheek rest against her shoulder. The two of you look out in the distance and remain silent for a while, simply enjoying each other's presence.
"S/O?"
"... hmm?"
"You might have forgotten the following, so I shall remind you, for good measure. You matter."
"What... are you implying?"
"What I'm implying is, even if you feel down and empty... it doesn't make you any less important, S/O. Besides, you basically admitted to not be fine, right? And acknowledgement... is a step toward recovery."
You slowly glance up at her again, and she welcomes it with her own. She might be more agitated on the inside than she appears to be on the outside, but her confident attitude serves as anchor - and as a lighthouse, even. While it's true she doesn't spare you from being teased from time to time, although within your boundaries of course, you cannot deny that her taking your concerns seriously is something you're grateful for.
"Of course, any recovery will take the time it requires... but you're not alone to make it through this hardship now, are you? Hmm?"
She gently squishes your shoulder with her hand as she speaks that out with a low voice, before beginning to massage it. Her stare remains fixated within your eyes.
"But... won't I be a burden to you...?"
"Not at all. Besides, it will put my mind at ease, to know that you're in good hands. Also, it might have escaped your attention as well, but you're strong. Being vulnerable is no easy feat, even less in the presence of someone. And I would rather not have anyone dare destroy the efforts you're pouring into getting better."
"Yae, I... I..."
Your view turns blurry as tears create in your eyes - tears which she wipes away with her delicate fingers, soon after.
"It's okay, let it out. Some feelings are best led outside than kept inside."
Seeing that your emotions are becoming increasingly present now, Yae Miko simply keeps holding you through without a word, with her comforting presence anchoring you, as you manage your feelings at your own pace, for as long as you need. It's only after you become a little more collected that she dares break the silence.
"The Grand Narukami Shrine has a few guest rooms. If you wouldn't mind, you could reside in one of them for the time being. That way, you would be close to me, should things get... uncomfortable again."
"That... would be much appreciated... Thank you, Yae..."
"No need to thank me, little one. I'm confident in your ability to make it through. You simply need a shoulder to rely on... for when it gets too tough for you to carry alone."
----------
Beidou
The two of you would regularly have a feast together, as a way to celebrate her bountiful returns from sailing around
It never escaped your attention that she has quite the appetite
... just like it didn't escape her attention when yours was, on this day, suspiciously low
Aside from this "detail", everything seemed normal on you, except perhaps your walking pace being slower as the two of you head back from the tavern... and your talkativeness while inside, too
But it would be foolish to believe that Captain Beidou, who has eyes for nothing but the finest treasures, wouldn't have eyes for her treasure
Ambient music:
"Hey, S/O... Something the matter?"
You don't say anything, instead simply stopping and glancing at her, whose steps bring her closer to you.
"I have a feeling there's something off about you tonight. Would you... like to chat about it?"
"Oh... no, no need... I'm fine. Thanks."
"Is that right?"
She sees through your attempt to reassure her with this little forced smile, causing her unpatched eye to narrow its sight on your form - you're anything but fine. Then, with a low sigh, she closes her eyes and uses her proximity from you to rest her hand on your shoulder, with far more delicacy than her feats and physical strength would suggest.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk it out, S/O. I just don't want you to ignore your own needs, that's all."
As your answer to her words consists of silence, and that you keep standing as idle as a tree, she takes the initiative to embrace you and pull you against her chest - though she didn't catch a prey, far from that.
"There, there. Nobody's around here at this time of night. I may not know how tough it must be for you now, but you're allowed to not feel alright. Your feelings matter, S/O. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise, you hear me?"
The proximity of her face to one of your ears allows her to whisper gently into it. Her voice, usually befitting of leading a crew, took now a softer tone that few people get to hear coming from her.
"You're doing good, even if you may not notice it. Every little achievement matters, even those that look mundane... especially these ones."
She now embraces your cheek with her hand, gently wiping a tear away with her thumb.
"Beidou..."
"You're not alone for fighting this. If there's anything you need, just say the word, whatever it may be."
She smiles in return as she notices your lips forming a tiny smile, out of your remaining strength.
"Want me to carry you back home?"
You nod and she proceeds to lift you with ease, through a secure and gentle grip. Then, she begins to walk but at a slower pace than earlier, to ensure that your ride will be comfortable enough.
"I'm proud of you S/O. I believe in you."
Just as a yawn catches up to your face, she began to hum a song to soothe your mind, eventually leading you to fall asleep under the safety of her watch and protection.
----------
Lisa
You both agreed to meet up at Good Hunter tonight, to share a meal together
However, despite waiting for you... you were nowhere to be seen
If this would be with someone else, Lisa's patience would probably have run dry by now, and those who miraculously survived forgetting to return a book in time, know very well about the consequences
But she knows you, and always appreciated your punctuality, so this must mean there's something up... and she's going to find out
First things first, she headed to your home in Mondstadt and knocked on the door a few times... eventually frowning as no reply reached her
That's strange, she thought; she knows for a fact that you're always home at this time of day
She knocks once more but to no avail, and after taking a quick glance around, she took the initiative to try open the door...
... which is unlocked, suspiciously enough; leading her to believe that you're home, after all
"Cutie? Are you in here? It's me, Lisa."
She glances around in the main room of your home, hoping to find you safe and sound. As you don't appear to be there, she then heads toward your bedroom, with worry beginning to raise within her, after each step she does.
The door is half-open. She takes a peek through its opening, and cannot retain a gasp upon finally seeing you - although not exclusively out of relief.
"S/O! What... happened to you?"
You know the situation is truly serious when she doesn't call you cutie or darling, nor is keeping up that perpetual confident smile. As you lay on your bed, consumed on the inside by the darkness, you manage to react to her question... although, with only a mere glance up at her, and just enough strength to weakly breath out her name.
"Lisa..."
She immediately sits on the bed, besides you, and then does a quick check-up of your condition. Her Akademiya knowledge soon kicks in and the realization hits her, as you could guess by her eyes opening wide.
"Here... let me help you."
Ambient music:
As her arms wrap around your form, you are met with what feels like a ray of moonlight piercing through the night. From a laying position on the bed, you have now been switched to being snuggled against her chest, held in place by the loving and gentle embrace of her arms.
"You are doing the best you can, S/O, even now. You're going through a hard time... and it's perfectly okay to not feel okay."
Her voice is low, but calm, and very tender. Her chin rests on your shoulder, cheek against cheek, while one of her hands stroke up and down along your back, providing you with a little bit of much-needed comfort - which you gladly welcome and acknowledge, through leading a little more toward her.
"If you feel the need to talk about it, know that I'm there for you, S/O, you will always have my full attention. And should you decide to remain silent, it's perfectly alright. In any case though, you matter to me, please remember that."
For the next few seconds, only silence fills up the room as she holds you closely, with the utmost motherly-like care possible, as she blesses you with her presence.
"Are you hungry? Thirsty, perhaps? I'll get you something, please wait here for me."
She removes the purple rose from her hair and then places it into your hand while she gets up, as a way to keep her present in your near, even if just a little bit.
"Here, keep this meanwhile. I'll be back in no time."
And she indeed didn't take long, for she returned soon enough with water as well as a handful of sandwiches - something convenient enough to feed you with, after setting you in a better position for this.
"If you don't mind, S/O, I will help you for the rest of your tasks tonight, and I'll come check up on you every day. That's the least I can do for you. I'll even make some potions, to help you get some relief. You won't have to face this burden alone, you have my word."
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Lacrime che cadon, occhi che bruciano, la gola che brucia..peggio di così cosa c'è? La mia vita…è ancor peggior.
Devilporcodio
L'amore uccide,il fumo uccide,l'alcool pure...che senso ha vivere se poi ci ritroviamo a morire sempre più, ma lentamente...
-Devilporcodio (Devilporcodio)
Quando tutto va a puttane, ricorda sempre di non rimanere mai sobrio.
-Devilporcodio
Adesso l'unica cosa che sento è solo il freddo, ed è l'unico a non avermi mai abbandonata.
-Devilporcodio
