Easy Company - Blog Posts
winters, roe, and lipton are officially the “we have this misfortune of having to watch while you all make terrible decisions despite our best efforts to keep you safe and healthy” club pass it on
modern day au where nix is so tired of sobel’s shit that he writes all his reports in WordArt text because he didnt actually specify what kind of font you should use
Muck, over the phone, holding his bloody nose: Hey, Malark! We're best friends, right, bro?
Malarkey, sighing: Normally I would say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is heading somewhere I won't like.
Luz: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Toye: Walk by again.
Luz: I hope you choke.
Liebgott: Yeah, I'm a master of Zen.
Liebgott: ...
Liebgott: Beatin' your ass now and Zen.
Speirs: You may all ask me one (1) question. That's it. Make it count.
Babe: Why aren't there lowercase and uppercase numbers?
Speirs:
Speirs: What?
Babe: I want to write loud numbers.
Lipton: Look, you don't want Speirs to die. And I don't want Speirs to die. So let's work together to make sure Speirs doesn't want Speirs to die.
Nix: Fantastic plan but have you ever fucking met Speirs
Speirs: [stomping back from enemy lines]
Smol baby replacements, in awe: Daddy?
Speirs, eyes narrowing: DO I LOOK LIKE—
Babe: Can you dust my wets?
Doc Roe: You can just ask for Parmesan cheese
Babe, confused, lifts all of his spaghetti with his hands: Please. My wets.
Toye: Tis but a scratch.
Roe: A scratch? Your leg’s off!
Webster: I just... I just can’t deal with this anymore! *buries his face in his hands and starts crying*
Liebgott, am emotionally stunted man who has no idea how to comfort people: Oh...You’re- um- crying...Please...don’t do that...
Webster: *sees two bees flying around a garden*
Webster: i wonder.,. if....they’re friends..
[ at a USO rager ]
Winters: *over the music* ANYONE SEE A RECYCLING BIN ANYWHERE?
Roe, even louder: OR SIZZUHS?
shifty powers: im a simple fellow. people raise their voices at me, i cry for an hour.
Babe Heffron: Captain? I’m having problems with a boy.
Ron Speirs: Like “his dead body won’t fit into your trunk” problems or “you like him” problems?
Babe Heffron: … “I like him” problems.
Ron Speirs: Too bad, I could have helped with the other one.
I made this at 2 am after scrolling through TikTok. (And i love Nix but it’s very in character of him to say “im trash”)
Am I the only one who thinks that Penkala could be the love child of Randlemann and Martin?
Luz: What if you eat an apple a day?
Doc Roe:
Babe: You just blew my mind.
Johnny Martin Leading the Patrol → Requested by lesterhashey
Don’t ask why, I don’t know
Malarkey: I hope I get run over.
Muck: Aw, come on. It’s Christmas! Get in the spirit!
Malarkey: [sighs] Fine, I wanna get run over by a reindeer.
“Do you ever feel… like an orange peel… in the ocean… wanting to die.”
– George Luz, probably
Roe: From one to ten how much it hurts?
Babe: Pi Greek.
Babe: You’re on a date with someone when they refer to guacamole as avocado jelly. What do you do?
Penkala: Bash their brains in.
Muck: Propose.
Luz: Bold of you to assume I’m on a date
Nix: Dick, I am not in denial.
Dick: Yes, you are. You're just denying you're in denial.
Nix: Dick, honey, I am not denying I'm in denial.
Dick: If you're not denying you're in denial, then you're in denial.
Nix: Look, fluffhead. Why should I deny being in denial? I never said I was in denial, YOU are the one who said I was in denial, and don't you deny it.
Lewis Nixon || According to tags
Dick Winters: If we succeed, I’m going to be Charles and you’ll be my Camilla.
Lewis Nixon: (to himself) I’m going to be Dick’s queen! If the public will accept me, I’m going to be Dick’s queen!