Evan Buckley - Blog Posts

I think D.C broke a part of me?

I saw tommy kissing Buck and started laughing manically. I had full on PTSD style flash backs to Timothy Drake, Bernard, and Connee Kent. Like we're gonna go with the worst of all worlds again? I know everyone else is like " Yay! bi Buck! Buddie is next".

I'm over here in tears cackling. Girlies I think this is it. Which is still technically a win. But I'm getting real tires of technical wins.

I'm probably just being negative buttttt just on case... cackling.

imagine watching this silly firefighter show for literal YEARS and feeling delusional about shipping these two men despite the several relationships with women that they’ve had and being force fed doubt everywhere and then when the show is on the brink of cancellation it gets picked up on a new network and in a matter of literally only four episodes BOOM CANON BISEXUAL!! BOOM ONE OF THEM KISSES A MAN!! BOOM THE SHIP IS MOST LIKELY GONNA BE MOVING IN TOGETHER!! tell any of this to me even just a year ago and i’d actually fight you on account of getting my hopes up like that

You Need To Choose

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, requested by anon. I love writing tropes like this so thank you for sending it in and I hope you will all like it. Feedback always makes my day.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz

Buck Masterlist

Summary: Evan saves a woman who then becomes very attached to him. While he is at work, she visits his home and takes his pregnant wife hostage.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh God, why was she back again?

Her smile did something to unnerve Evan, although he wasn't altogether sure why. It was the way she looked at him, like there was some kind of aura around him that nobody else had. It unsettled him, it made him panicked and uneasy and unsure about how to act or what to do.

Evan could feel his hands suddenly start to drag up and down his thighs in an anxious habit that reminded him of (Y/n). He didn't realise how many of her anxious traits he had too until he noticed the way (Y/n) would fidget or cling to him when she was nervous or ready to go home if they were out somewhere.

"Hi Buck,"

He fought hard to smile and try to be polite. It wouldn't be kind if he stared at her blankly or let his unease become visible.

"Hi… are you okay? Can I help you with something?"

Evan tucked his hands into his pockets as he stood in front of her but kept a safe distance of three feet between them.

This marked the third time Cara had come by the station and the second time, Evan had been lucky enough to be out on a call. She was only stopping by to talk to him, she didn't want to see any of the team. She asked for him the first time she popped round and she came to say thank you.

It had been very sweet, not many people willingly came by the station to thank any of the team when they helped people out of bad situations. They said thank you on the scene but never followed up and it was nice for Evan to see Cara was doing well. He often wondered about the people they saved, if they were okay, if they were happy or struggling. If they remembered the people who came to help them.

The second time, Evan had been uneasy when Chimney told him Cara came by again but left when she was told Evan was out.

Now she was back again, and Evan couldn't see why. She had thanked him the first time and he told her it was his job, he didn't do this for praise although it was lovely of her to stop and say thank you.

She had been trapped in a crumbling building when the team turned up at the scene and Cara had been seconds away from crashing through a window and falling to her death when Eddie and Evan got there. Evan went down on a rope and managed to grab her before she fell. He could see how it would shake her up and make her grateful, but he couldn't see why she would come back again and again to thank him when she didn't have to.

"I'm a lot better now, thank you. I thought I'd stop by and give you these."

Evan had been preoccupied wondering why she was here and missed the tuppaware box she had in her hands. When he leaned forward, he realised she had made some sort of cake.

The team got a lot of food, mainly chocolates or baked goods to say thank you and that was usually around Christmas or Easter.

Evan wasn't used to getting gifts from the people they saved, a polite thank you and a hug was always more than enough for him. He got enough gifts from the team and his family on special occasions. The last gift he got was (Y/n)'s gift on his birthday telling him he was going to be a dad. That had given him a whole new high he never felt before.

"Thank you," He tried his best to smile and took the box when she suddenly thrust it into his hands. "You didn't have to do that."

"It's the least I could do for my hero."

He could feel his smile fading away when she reached up and wrapped an arm around his neck to pull him into a hug.

He usually gave small hugs on the scene after saving someone, not weeks later when they came by to say thank you. He wasn't sure what to do. It wouldn't do him good to stand like an uncomfortable statue but he also didn't want to hug her as if they were good friends or give her the wrong impression. Evan was big on hugs and physical contact but only with close friends and family.

He was always messing about with Bobby and Eddie but they were more like family. Evan didn't do so well with strangers.

"Okay… take care." His smile was definitely more forced this time and looked more like a grimace when Cara finally let him go when she seemed to realise he wasn't hugging her back.

It wouldn't be professional to hug her back. He hadn't done anything to warrant a hug, he saved her almost three weeks ago and she said thank you on the scene. She wasn't a friend, she wasn't family or someone Evan knew well enough to have physical contact with. And he was married. He didn't want nor need to be hugging her.

As soon as she left the station, Evan turned around and let his shoulders deflate. He sighed and gritted his teeth as he looked over towards Hen who was checking the inventory in the ambulance.

"What'd you get?"

"Cake, I think." He hoped.

"Taking it home for (Y/n)?" She poked her tongue out between her teeth and grinned widely but the grin started to slip when Evan shook his head and frowned like she'd just insulted him. "You get given cake- something your extremely pregnant wife loves, and you're not taking it home for her?"

"Not when I don't know who's made it." Evan brought the tuppaware box up to his eyes and squinted through the plastic. "I don't know what's in it, I'm not risking giving that to (Y/n). Do you want it?"

He could see the wheels turning in Hen's mind and she hummed, pursing her lips as she suddenly agreed with him.

It was a lovely gesture, but Evan didn't know Cara. He didn't know if she would lace the cake like one woman had done with the brownies she sent in. Evan didn't know if she would drug the cake or add some strange ingredient. It was too risky to take home to (Y/n) when Evan got a bad vibe from Cara as it was. He wasn't giving her food baked by a stranger.

(Y/n) was nine months pregnant, Evan wouldn't risk giving her something that might make her sick. He'd rather play it safe and buy her cake on the way home from shift.

"Erm, maybe not."

Evan nodded her way before he walked towards the stairs and on his way past, he tossed the box in the bin. It was a kind gesture, but he wasn't eating it and Bobby had rules. No food or drink to be accepted from strangers. It didn't matter how kind they were or what lovely intentions they had, no one should accept food. Only close friends and family could bake goods and bring them into the station.

And something told Evan not to try that cake.

***

"What are you doing?"

A gasp burned past (Y/n)'s lips and her left hand clutched the curtain rail while she flapped her right hand out. She grabbed Evan's shoulder to steady herself when she suddenly felt his hands tightly digging into her hips and his chest press up against her hips and bum.

"Evan don't do that!" She bashed her hand against his chest before she moved back to clutching his shoulder when she wobbled.

Her lips pressed into a thin line and she scowled down at her husband while he pressed his chin against her hip and stared up at her with that stern expression that made her weak at the knees. She slowly let go of the curtain rail and shuffled around on the stool until she was fully facing Evan.

Her hands held his shoulders as she hunched over in a silent plea for him to help her down.

"The curtain came down again, I was putting it back up." She mumbled when Evan locked his arms in place and kept her stood high up above him. She watched him tilt his head forward and press his lips against her bump while his hands curved round from her hips to hold the back of her waist.

He let her lean her weight down onto him and slowly eased her down until she was safely back on her feet. (Y/n)'s hands stayed on Evan's shoulders and she tilte dher head back to look up at him.

"And you thought giving me a heart attack was worth it?" His eyes darted between (Y/n) and the curtain until she leaned forward and buried her face in his chest.

He peered into the nursery and saw her standing on a stool, leaning heavily on the window. And from his angle, it looked like she was unsteady and about to fall. Evan didn't need that kind of panic when he was already on edge as it was. He had one more week of work and (Y/n) was bang on nine months now. Her due date was next week and Evan was panicking that she was going to go into labour while he was at work.

He didn't need to walk round the house and see her daring to stand on a stool like that and risk a fall.

"I've done it now, I was fine until you scared me."

"Well next time just tell me rather than risking a fall." Evan was taller, he could reach the curtain rail without straining or going on his tiptoes. (Y/n) didn't have to do it by herself when she could just tell him and he would sort it.

Her hands tightened on his shoulders and she tilted her head back so her chin was tucked into the middle of his chest. The way she batted her lashes at him made Evan's chest tighten and she knew she had won him over when his stern look faded into a soft smile.

"How do you feel today?" He let his hand slide down to cradle her stomach and his head tilted to the side. They both knew what he was actually asking.

(Y/n) looked down and let her fingers glide down Evan's arm until she cupped his wrist.

"Just kicking, they're not coming today. You can relax, baby Buckley is staying put for today." Her thumb smoothed across the back of Evan's hand which she moved to the lower right side of her stomach so he could feel a small kick.

She wasn't feeling any strange movements or feeling the baby turning round yet. No more lower back pain than usual and no dull aches or cramps anywhere that would imply labour. They still had a few more days or even a week left. Evan could go to work calm, knowing he wasn't going to miss anything today.

"Good. You're not allowed to go into labour without me."

"I know, but I'm not holding out much longer. The baby might not be ready, but I am."

"Just three more shifts, baby girl. Wait three more shifts, for me, please?" Evan lifted his hand to cup her chin and tilted her head back while he smoothed his thumb across her lower lip that he pinched to watch her take a sharp breath.

He knew (Y/n) was getting restless. He hadn't known her take so many baths as she had in the last three months, but it was where she felt most comfortable and where the baby seemed to settle and sleep. (Y/n) was tired. She thought she would of had the baby by now, she thought she wouldn't make it to her due date. But the baby seemed very comfy and cosy and (Y/n) was getting fed up of waiting.

Evan, on the other hand, was somehow containing his excitement. He had agreed with Bobby to work right up until (Y/n)'s due date because it gave him an extra two weeks off after the baby was born. Rather than taking time off in the lead up to the birth. He would rather work until (Y/n) had the baby and then he could have a few straight weeks off to be home and help her with the baby.

He had barely taken any annual leave this year so he had a lot stored up that he could take when the baby was born in case (Y/n) or the baby were ill or needed him. Or in case he had a hard time going back to work, he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to settle back at work and leave his family at home.

"Sweet-talker," (Y/n) muttered quietly before she pushed up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips.

He enticed a gasp from her lips when he sank his teeth into her bottom lip so he could swipe his tongue past her lips. (Y/n) could feel his hand tightening in the back of her shirt and he tugged her closer until she was tightly meshed against his front.

"You'll be late."

"Hm," He grinned and panted against her lips as his nose brushed against hers until she shook her head when it started to tickle. "You call me if you need me, even if you just feel sick. I've always got my phone on me now and if you can't get hold of me, call Bobby."

"I promise." Her lips attached to the side of his neck and she curled her arms around his shoulders to pull him down to her. Her face buried into his shoulder and she could feel his chest vibrating with a chuckle.

(Y/n) seemed to be promising Evan every shift that she would call him if she needed anything. She never did. Maddie was always popping round to check in and make sure she was alright when she knew Evan was at work and so far (Y/n) had been fine. But she knew Evan had cleared it with Bobby for (Y/n) to be able to get hold of him because if she needed him, he had to be able to answer.

Her hands trailed to his shoulders and she leaned back when Evan bent forward and pressed his lips against her stomach. His hand slipped beneath her shirt to dance across her skin because he knew it made her shimmy and squirm.

"Be good. Don't make an appearance until daddy comes home."

When Evan felt a kick near his lips, he grinned. (Y/n) tangled her fingers through his curls and steadily stroked them towards the back of his head while she rolled her eyes.

"They're definitely going to be a daddy's child."

***

"Hello?" (Y/n) tightened her hand around the door handle and tried to form a calm smile when she opened the door.

She wasn't expecting visitors today, she wasn't even sure that Maddie would stop by today or if she was at work. (Y/n) had been expecting to spend another calm day at home and tuck herself up in bed until Evan came home later on tonight.

(Y/n) didn't recognise the woman on the other side of the door. She had shoulder-length gritty blonde hair that was slightly damp from the hot weather and it made her hair curl and crimp at the ends. She had one hand curled around her bag on her shoulder and the other was planted firmly on her hip.

Whoever she was, she didn't seem happy to see (Y/n) opening the door. Had she gotten the wrong address? Was she looking for a friend or family?

"Who are you?" Her demanding question took (Y/n) by surprise and the smile faded from her lips as she clung a bit tighter to the door. It should be (Y/n) saying that, not whoever this woman was.

"I-"

"Where's Buck, is he home?"

The way she leaned to try and peer around (Y/n) into the house made a shiver crawl down (Y/n)'s spine.

So whoever she was, she clearly had the right address. She was looking for Evan. (Y/n) dared not think why this woman was looking for him, she seemed rather put-out at seeing (Y/n) instead. And the way she was tapping her foot against the doorstep made (Y/n) uneasy, it was like (Y/n) was wasting her time.

"He's at work right now… can I help you? I'm his wife." It seemed to be the wrong thing to say.

(Y/n) rolled her lips together and braced her left hand out on the wall when the woman in front of her took a stumbling step backwards. It was as if (Y/n) had gone and slapped her.

Who was she? How did she know Evan but not know that he was married? He wore a silver band on his ring finger for God's sake, that was a big giveaway. His lockscreen was a picture of them when they were on holiday and his home screen was a more daring picture of (Y/n) that not many people saw or noticed.

Evan didn't hide the fact that he was married, he told just about anyone and he had been high as a kite these last few months at the notion of being a father. His friends were mainly the people he worked with and the few friends he knew from college. All of whom (Y/n) had met and gone out with on quite a few occasions.

Their circle of friends was close-knit, small and secure. And this woman was not a part of that circle.

"His- no, he's not married." Cara's hand tightened on her hip and she tried to smirk, but the look faded again when (Y/n) simply frowned.

"Excuse me?"

(Y/n) could feel her annoyance beginning to build up like a fire ebbing away at her and growing with each passing second. She was tired, she wanted to go to bed and lie down and dwindle away the hours until Evan came home. The last thing (Y/n) wanted was an argument on her own doorstep because some derranged woman had turned up out of the blue.

"Who are you?"

"I told you, I'm his wife. He isn't here, do you want me to call him?" (Y/n) wasn't playing this silly game. She didn't have to prove that she was married to Evan. It was up to this woman to explain what she wanted Evan for and either call him herself or leave.

(Y/n) leaned her weight on the wall when the baby started to move and press down on her hips.

But when she watched the way the stranger in front of her suddenly stared down at her stomach, (Y/n) felt like wishing the ground to swallow her whole. She could feel the daggers burning into her stomach and the woman's face turned a dark shade of red like the epitome of anger was right here in front of her.

The silence was unbearable, until (Y/n) strained hard to hear what this woman was suddenly muttering under her breath. Then, (Y/n) was suddenly desperate for the silence to come back.

"Pregnant? You're having his kid? You can't be. You can't be."

It was like those were the only words this woman could comprehend and it made (Y/n) shiver.

Was this the lady who kept turning up at the station? Evan mentioned a woman kept stopping by even after she thanked him and the team for saving her. (Y/n) didn't think anything of it because Evan didn't seem to elaborate or make much of a fuss.

"I think you need to leave now."

"I'm not going anywhere!"

(Y/n) shuddered and quickly backed up when the woman smashed her hand out into the door and slammed it so violently it hit the wall and rebounded into (Y/n)'s arm. She felt a bolt of electricity shooting down her elbow towards her hand that spasmed in pain but she swallowed down a cry.

There was no time for (Y/n) to try and slam the door shut, let alone think about locking the door to keep herself and her baby safe.

Before she could move, the woman was over the threshold and pushing her way into the house.

(Y/n) tried to bash her hands out but she recoiled her hands to her chest with a gasp when something sharp caught the side of her wrist and burned down her arm.

She had a knife. A swiss army knife, to be exact.

It was a red rectangular plastic with a lot of various sized blades tucked away and even a thin set of scissors attached. (Y/n) didn't see her take that out of her bag, she moved far too quickly and it was very unsettling to know this woman carried one around with her in her bag.

"Where is he?!"

"I- I told you, he's at work- please stop. Why do you want to see him?" (Y/n) tried to swipe away the small trickle of blood from her wrist but she lashed her left hand out again when the woman moved the knife near her stomach. She wasn't going to harm the baby. (Y/n) wouldn't let her.

"I want him! He's mine- he saved me. We've been out on dates, bet you didn't know that."

It took all (Y/n) had not to roll her eyes or make a sarcastic sound. As if she would truly believe Evan could be the way he was around her and then go behind her back with someone else. He wouldn't be this clingy and attached to (Y/n) if he really was going out with someone else and he wouldn't be so excited about having their baby if he wanted to leave (Y/n).

She knew her husband and she knew he was as devoted to her as she was to him. Everyone at the station was always telling her that. Clearly this woman had either been reading the signals wrong, or she had been living in a fantasy that had just broken.

"He isn't here-"

"So call him and get him here!"

When the knife moved closer to her stomach, (Y/n) backed up into the lounge and nodded. Her hands started to tremble as she turned and looked around for her phone. This woman had to be derranged. She clearly didn't have Evan's number or she would have called him herself and unless Evan had a secret phone he wasn't telling (Y/n) about, he couldn't be having an affair.

No one nowadays had affairs where they only talked in person or through the post. This woman didn't have Evan's number, she had no way of contacting him and it was clear she had never been to the house before. Her fantasy was unravelling because she was realising Evan had a life and a family that she wasn't part of.

(Y/n) slowly pointed to her phone and picked it up just as she felt the knife press against the side of her abdomen. She couldn't make any sudden movements unless she wanted to risk harming the baby.

"H-he might not be able to answer, if he's out on a call…" (Y/n)'s fingers trembled as she unlocked her phone.

Her lips pressed together in a thin line when she looked at her home screen. Evan, lying in bed with one hand tangled in his hair and a cheesy grin on his face as he squinted up at the camera.

Her thumb hovered over Evan's icon at the bottom of her phone where two hearts surrounded 'hubby'.

"Either he answers, or he truly doesn't love you. He wouldn't leave you alone ready to pop without a way for you to contact him, would he?"

It didn't feel safe to tell this woman that they had protocols and plans in place for that kind of event. If Evan couldn't answer the phone, (Y/n) was supposed to ring Bobby. If he didn't answer, she had the fire station emergency line where someone at the station would answer and they could radio through to Evan. He would get (Y/n)'s message either way, but right now, she needed her husband to answer the phone.

God knows what this woman would do if he didn't pick up.

"What do I tell him?" She couldn't risk getting a knife to the stomach if she said the wrong thing or said something this lady didn't want her to say. (Y/n) needed to know what to do.

"Tell him to come home. Tell him Cara's here and she needs to see him, if he doesn't… I think you know what will happen."

(Y/n) let herself slump down on the sofa as she clicked Evan's icon and pressed the phone against her ear. Her free hand tangled in her hair before she moved to press the back of her hand against her mouth to stop herself from crying. But she couldn't fight off the few tears that silently slipped down the bridge of her nose.

The baby was twisting. Her stomach was flooding with adrenaline. Her body was shaking from the panic. She felt like she was going to be sick. (Y/n) wanted her husband more than ever.

"Sweetheart, everything okay? Is it time, is the baby coming?" Words rambled past Evan's lips and he couldn't see the relief on (Y/n)'s face when he started to speak. He knew she wouldn't ring him unless it was urgent or an emergency.

"Evan, can you come home please?"

"Baby are you okay?" He could hear the wobble in her voice and it made his heart clench. He would come home, she knew he would, but Evan had to know what the situation was and why he was coming home. He had to know if (Y/n) was in labour or if she had fallen or was feeling sick or felt like something was wrong. He needed the specifics.

"Cara's here, a-and she wants to talk to you… it's important, please come home."

"Cara? What's she doing at the house- how does she know where we live?" Evan tangled his fingers in the short curls at the back of his head as he spun round in a circle.

How did she know where he lived? Why had she turned up at his house and not the station?

Oh God, had she been following him to know where he lived?

"Baby are you hurt, please tell me she hasn't hurt you?"

(Y/n) darted her eyes to the left and glanced over at Cara to see if she could hear Evan through the phone or not. She looked a little calmer now but the fire was still burning in her eyes. She was sat on the arm of the sofa next to (Y/n), the army knife still dangerously close to (Y/n)'s stomach just to show her she still meant business.

When she looked up, she noticed Cara had seen her eyes darting down to the knife and something sinister flickered across her face.

"You can tell him I have a knife with me. And I will use it if he doesn't take us seriously."

"Did- she's got a fucking knife?!" Evan's feet moved before he could comprehend what he was doing or where he was going. He needed help. He needed someone to come down to his house with him. He was sure he heard Cara say she would use her knife. He couldn't have her threatening or hurting (Y/n). Especially not when she was so close to giving birth.

"Evan-" (Y/n) shuddered and took a sharp breath when the phone was suddenly snatched from her hand.

"Buck, it's me. Are you on your way?"

"What are you doing at my house? Don't you dare hurt my wife! I swear to God I'll-"

"Enough talk. You need to come home now, so you can choose who you really want to be with. You need to choose the right woman for you."

(Y/n) flinched when she heard Evan begin to yell before the call ended and Cara tossed the phone on the floor. At least Evan would be coming home soon. (Y/n) wouldn't have to be on her own with this unhinged woman for much longer.

For a little while, (Y/n) began rubbing her hands up and down her thighs and across her knees as something to distract herself. She was desperate to run her hands over her stomach and try to settle the baby but she didn't dare draw attention to her stomach. Not when the knife was still held so close to her that she could almost feel it.

Part of her prayed that Evan would bring someone from the station with him, maybe Bobby or perhaps he could get hold of Athena. But she wasn't sure what Cara would do if he turned up with anyone else and if he called the police, everything would get worse.

Both women turned to look at each other when they heard the screeching of tyres in the drive.

It had to be Evan.

"Up. Now."

A shiver rocketed through (Y/n) but she did as requested, she didn't exactly have a choice.

Her lips pressed into a thin line and her hands coiled around her chest when the knife jabbed into the left side of her waist. She could feel the jagged edge beginning to pull the threads on her shirt and if Cara pushed just a little, she would pierce through into (Y/n)'s skin.

Cara's other hand moved to grip the back of (Y/n)'s right arm and she pushed her to stand near the window just as Evan banged his knuckles on the door.

"Baby it's me." The door was open but Evan felt apprehensive about going inside. He didn't know what he was going to be walking into, he had no idea if (Y/n) was okay, if she was going to be in shock or crying or hurt or oddly calm. He didn't know what state Cara would be in either.

"You'd better be alone. No one else comes in or I'll hurt her." Cara tightened her hand on (Y/n)'s arm and kept the knife in place to stop (Y/n) from moving when they both watched Evan walk through the hall.

He had his hands out in front of him to show he wasn't about to do anything. He had Bobby waiting outside in the car, but Evan wasn't stupid enough to tell Cara that. And Bobby was on the phone to Athena who was going to send a squad car down here without lights or sirens so Cara didn't get disgruntled.

"It's just me." Evan walked around the corner and paused near the sofa.

(Y/n) saw the way his eyes darkened and his broad shoulders tensed and lifted up when he looked at them. He lowered his hands down to his sides and clenched his hands into fists while his biceps started to push against his cuffed sleeves.

A quiet 'good' murmured past Cara's lips and she smiled triumphantly while her eyes focused on Evan. He stood behind the sofa and leaned his hands down on the back of the sofa. It showed how tense his arms were and they both heard his neck crack when he twisted his head from side to side.

"Are you okay?" Evan focused his eyes on his wife. She had a cut on her right wrist but it didn't look too extensive. He could see her trembling and tears were traced down her features, but she didn't look too shook up which is all he could ask for right now.

"She's fine."

(Y/n) bit her lip but she nodded, she didn't want Evan to worry, she was as fine as she could be in this situation.

"I'd feel a lot better if you weren't holding a knife to her stomach. Can you put it down, please?" It felt horrid to try and be reasonable and bargain with Cara but Evan needed her to stop holding (Y/n) like that. She was going to hurt her or send her into shock and Evan didn't want either of those things happening.

"No. Sit down, we need to talk."

Evan locked his jaw when Cara gave (Y/n) a sudden push towards the armchair beneath the window. He watched with narrowed eyes as (Y/n) slumped down into the chair and dug her nails into the arm rest while her other hand moved to press against her stomach.

When Cara perched down on the arm rest and kept the knife against (Y/n)'s stomach, Evan moved round and sat on the very edge of the sofa. His knees spread out to the sides and his hands clasped together and hung between his knees.

"You didn't tell me about her." The way Cara inclined her head towards (Y/n) and her upper lip curled in distaste made Evan take a deep breath. "You led me on. I've been to visit you at work, I've been out with you, and no mention of her."

For a second, Evan frowned and looked up at Cara like she had grown a second head.

But then it dawned on him. He'd seen her when he was out at the shop last week. He'd seen her again when he went for a drink with Chimney and Eddie after shift. He even saw her at the gas station walking past while he was filling the jeep. Nothing about those instances had seemed strange because Cara barely spoke to him on each occasion.

Had she thought seeing him out in public meant they were going out together? Did she somehow concoct a whole story with Evan without him realising? Had she been following him instead of simply bumping into him in the street?

"I'm sorry, but you can see why I didn't tell you… I was married before I met you." Evan didn't exactly know what to say, but he knew he had to try and go along with this for a little while. He had to calm Cara down enough to get (Y/n) out the house, then he could sort out this mess. He just needed his family out the way and safe.

"Well now you have a problem. You can't have both of us, so you have to choose."

The knife pressed closer into (Y/n)'s stomach and she flinched. She shuffled as close to the right as she could until she was curled around the arm of the chair with her arms around her chest and her eyes locked on Evan.

"Will you let (Y/n) leave then, so you and me can talk in private?"

He could see she wasn't expecting that response, and Cara didn't know what to do. Evan was trying to get (Y/n) out safely, he wanted her out the house and out of harms way and Cara might be able to see that. But she also couldn't pass up the chance that Evan might just want to pick her and talk this through with her.

"What about the baby? If you leave her, will you leave the baby too?" When Cara jabbed the knife into (Y/n)'s side to prove her point, (Y/n) visibly winced and bit down her cry.

"We can talk about that when (Y/n) leaves us alone," Evan was losing his patience now, he couldn't play pretend for much longer.

Cara seemed to debate it for a few seconds before she nodded but her actions contradicted her gesture when she moved the knife and against (Y/n)'s neck. She seemed to revel in the way (Y/n) whimpered and leaned back and more tears drenched her face.

"Go upstairs. You're not leaving the house to call any of your little friends."

(Y/n) could feel the knife pressing tightly into her neck until it pierced the skin and a small trickle of blood trailed down the side of her neck, but she couldn't move. Her hands stayed locked around the arm of the chair and she closed her eyes for a few seconds. She didn't feel well enough to move. Everything within (Y/n) was telling her to move, to get up and go and keep the baby safe.

She knew Evan could look after himself, he could get the knife off Cara and calm her down until they could get the police here. But she couldn't find the will power to move when her stomach was twisting and she felt sick.

"Sweetheart," Evan chomped down on his tongue when Cara sent him a warning look. "(Y/n), go."

"Are you stupid? Move, he's told you he doesn't want you here anymore."

Tears tumbled down (Y/n)'s face and she stumbled up to her feet when Cara gave her a rough shove between the shoulders and she felt the knife slide down her neck, creating a superficial wound.

(Y/n) could feel her knees quaking but she couldn't stop the small cry from errupting past her lips when she looked down. Both her hands cradled her stomach and she darted her wild, panicked eyes to look over at Evan. She watched the way her husband tensed up and his eyes bulged in their sockets.

Her waters had broken.

"Evan…" She didn't know what she wanted to say or what she wanted her husband to do, but (Y/n) needed Evan to do something.

She cringed and pinned her elbows into her waist when Cara snagged a handful of her hair and pulled her head right back until her neck felt like it had broken.

"You've done this on purpose! This is to make sure he won't leave you- you bitch!"

"Let her go- Cara that's enough!" Evan raised his voice out of instinct and bolted up from the sofa when he saw the knife move near (Y/n)'s stomach. He couldn't let her do anything to his wife. She was frightened and in pain and now she was going to go into labour at the worst possible time. Evan had to keep them both safe and away from Cara.

(Y/n) reached her hands out for Evan when he stumbled towards her. She let out a scream when the knife swiped near her stomach just as she tried to lunge forward and pull out of Cara's tight grip on her hair.

Her hands curled around Evan's arm and she let him yank her forwards until he had her safely behind him. Evan hated the way he felt (Y/n) go down on her knees behind him and he felt her hands scratch down his back and his leg but he couldn't grab her. He had to reach forward for Cara who tried to lunge with a violent scream that almost deafened him.

The knife slashed the inside of Evan's palm but the adrenaline countered out the slight sting he barely felt. He curled his fingers around the blade and pulled until he had hold of the weapon which he launched somewhere behind him. He heard it clatter against the bannister and was satisfied it was far enough away so Cara couldn't reach for it again just as he heard the front door swing open.

"Buck?!"

Evan had never been happier to hear Bobby's voice and the thudding sound of approaching footsteps told him that someone else was in the house too. Someone else was here to help. He latched his fingers around Cara's wrist and pushed until they both stumbled and a scream tore from her lips when they clashed into the armchair.

When hands grabbed his shoulders, Evan let go and allowed whoever it was to reel him backwards until he was towards the sofa.

He realised it was Bobby who had hold of him and Athena was now stood in front of him like a bodyguard, trying to move and calm Cara enough to arrest her.

"Buck, Buck, come on, up." Bobby slipped his hands beneath Evan's arms and pulled until Evan bent his knees and managed to stand up. He could feel Bobby turning him in the right direction and giving him a helpful nudge until he moved towards (Y/n).

She was cowering down on the floor behind the sofa, one hand braced on the arm of the sofa with her other hand cradling her stomach.

Tears flooded down her face and she could barely see when Evan held her chin and tilted her head up so they were level again. His thumb swiped across her lips and (Y/n) could see his eyes raking over her to see what injuries she had. Her wrist was aching but it had already stopped bleeding, it was more of a nuisance than anything. There was a slight pinch in the left side of her stomach and (Y/n) knew Evan could see the small trickle of blood soaking into her shirt.

The knife had given her another superficial cut on the side of her abdomen that was nothing to worry about. But the look in Evan's eyes said it all; he wasn't impressed, not in the least.

(Y/n) curled her hand tightly around Evan's wrist when his hand slid round to cradle the back of her neck. He leaned closer until (Y/n) could bury her face in his neck and his other arm curved around her waist to keep her tucked up against his chest.

"Alright, alright sweetheart I've got you. It's okay." He spoke quietly into the top of her head as he felt her tears soaking into his neck and it made him shiver.

"Are you both alright?" Bobby rested his hand on Evan's shoulder as he crouched down and tried to assess them. He knew Evan's hand was bleeding, he could see the blood pooling between his fingers and trickling steadily down his wrist. But he hadn't been inside when everything turned south, Bobby hadn't seen if they had been hurt before he and Athena barged in.

"Her water broke."

"Right, then we need to take a trip down to the hospital."

(Y/n) tried to keep her face tucked up into Evan's neck but he gently reeled her back so he could look down at her again. She could feel his thumb smoothing up and down the back of her neck beneath her hair and his other hand began rubbing circles into her lower back. The smile o his face was calming, but not as much as the way his blue eyes seemed to swirl like a light was being shone in his aqua blue iris.

"Let's go have a baby."

🚧 SPOILERS FOR 8x10 OF 9-1-1 🚧

EXCUSE ME??

“This thing between us”

“You matter to me”

“I know”

THE HUG??? THE FACES??? THE CLASSIC 9-1-1 MUSIC??? IT’S RIGHT THERE!!

They aren’t going to actually kill off Bobby right? right?!? RIGHT?!??

If I was Maddie I’d be so pissed that my little brother was fighting with his crush instead of looking for me when I’m literally on the verge of death.

sooooo like when is bobby going to call 9-1-1 and tell everyone he’s alive and trapped in his casket/in some government lab

IM IN DENIAL! what do you mean bobby died and the whole team wasn’t even there! eddie wasn’t there! what do you mean bobby only got to say goodbye to two people and his goodbye to buck lasted all of five seconds. what do you mean hen didn’t get a “last moment” with bobby. what do you mean bobby didn’t get to say goodbye to may or harry or his best friend micheal! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIED FROM A SUPER VIRUS!!

Chris, who came up with the best prank ever: 😈

Eddie: Your son is out of control. Buck: M-my son? I can barely stop getting flustered when you call Chris 'our' son, why are you calling him just mine all of a sudden?! Eddie: Because he's dating five different girls and you need to talk him out of it. Now. Buck, blinking rapidly: ...Yeah, alright. I can see how that is my problem. Five though? Eddie: It better not be six.

Chimney: *exasperated, just tryna drink his coffee*Oh for gods sake, guys just get a room already!

Buck: It's so hot here * unbuttons shirt*

Eddie: why do you unbutton my shirt?

Buck: Because i can see how those babies need to breathe *touches and tugs Eddie's chest hair*

Askghjdfhgd buck so would but eddie would unbothon bucks shirt right back because he can't be the only one with his tiddies out

Buck: *looks at Ravi* Ya hear that Virgins! You guys are gonna live forever!!

Ravi: please leave alone....

pilot!bobby at pilot!buck

He looks SO happy to destroy that car 😂😂

Honestly, as a bisexual who believes in both bi buck and adhd buck, either bi buck or adhd buck conformation this season would be a win. His jealousy over Eddie and Tommy could be because he realizes he's in love with or because Eddie is the first friend he's made who doesn't make fun of his rants about certain topics he's been researching. While I prefer buddie to become cannon I like both these ideas and if one comes true that would be great. However, I think we're failing to see the bigger picture here bcause what if we didn't have to choose and they gave us both for both of my previous reasons.

Plot twist: buck continues believing he's straight and instead gets diagnosed with adhd

love will always find you. Both threat AND promise

Eddie: A theif.

Buck: Thief?

Eddie: Theif.

Buck: I before E, except after C.

Buck: Thceif.

Eddie: No.

Buck: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Eddie: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Bobby, going over Buck's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

Buck: Yes

Bobby: Okay... may I know what you create?

Buck: Problems.

take a shot for every tv show i started watching because i thought the popular gay ship was canon only to realize the reality was much worse (one is gay but the other is ‘straight’ but they’re codependent and weird about it)…

everyone except for eddie and buck seem to know that buck is gay and that they’re in love except canonically, that’s not even the case anymore. sure, everyone’s been telling buck that he’s in love with eddie and buck going no, he’s not gay. we know, through bucks own admission that he’s in love with eddie - they’re best friends and he has feelings for him so maybe buck never says he’s in love with eddie but is there any feeling that’s more love than what you feel for your best friend that you have feelings for i still can’t believe this is real and canon

I never would have guessed that a wee woo show would end up being my comfort show.

Everyone talking about how Tommy tilted Buck’s chin for the kiss, which yes, valid and hot, but…

Buck after the initial shock moving his hand over to hold on to Tommy?

Unparalleled

And what if I said I just started crying even harder than I just was?!?!

also let's be serious right now okay. the choice to have tommy call buck "evan" was so inspired, because as this journey begins for him, the healing has to start from the very core. and before buck was ever buck, he was evan. evan was the core of all his insecurities and his hurt. what buck is hurting from is what evan has been hurting from this whole time

and now, he's free and he can start healing. and evan has to heal first. evan gets to learn and figure things out with tommy as his guide and that's beautiful. tommy is there to guide evan so that buck can face the world. so that buck can get what the core of what he really wants, and who he's been looking for this whole time. tommy will allow evan to be seen and heal in this new light, but we know who's been seeing buck this whole time

BUCKS OFFICIALLY A BOY KISSER 🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉

Today will go down in history as one of the best days to have ever dayed

🕯🕯🕯

🕯 Henren Buddie double date 🕯

I would like to put forth my idea for how I would like Eddie's coming out and feelings confession for Buck to go. I am a little torn on whether I want the feelings confession/Buddie getting together to happen this season— only because I worry we'll get it at the very end and miss out on early relationship development between them in a time skip for S9. I think I'd be fine with it eventually if that's what we end up getting bc Buddie being canon at all is important to me, but I would hate to not see how they handle everything after they get together. Regardless, I would love to see them do this:

I want Eddie to get his gay realization and/or acceptance and feelings realization while in El Paso. I want Eddie and Chris to come back home to LA after figuring everything out, and I want Eddie to eventually have that one-on-one coming out conversation with Buck like they did in S7. I want Buck to be visibly shaken by this information, internally having the biggest freak-out of his life because holy shit Eddie isn't straight before he composes himself. Because this moment isn't about him, it's about Eddie. He apologizes for his reaction— because of course Eddie noticed and seemed to have a brief moment of panic himself— and reassures him that he was just surprised. Maybe Buck asks him what happened in El Paso to make him realize or Eddie himself offers up that information. Maybe he met or befriended someone while he was in Texas and they got to talking one night about their relationships. Maybe this person is gay, and, like Eddie, had repressed their sexuality for a long, long time before realizing that they had fallen in love with their best friend (and maybe Eddie leaves this little detail out because in the process of talking through this persons' relationship with their friend, Eddie realizes just how similar it is to his and Buck's relationship and he isn't ready to share that). He tells Buck about how the conversation got him thinking about his past relationships with women and why they never seemed to work out. By the end of it, he realized it was because he didn't really want to be with women at all. Maybe he even realized he had a close friend as a kid, a boy, who his feelings for went beyond platonic. Buck's response to this is one of support, because of course it is. He hugs Eddie, thanks him for telling him, and reassures him that this didn't change anything between them, just as Eddie had when Buck told him about Tommy. And maybe Eddie leaves it at that. He doesn't say anything to the contrary, no matter how much he wants to tell Buck that he does want their relationship to change, because he still doesn't feel worthy enough to have what he wants.

And so begins the most awkward, adorable, hilarious series of events where these two oblivious dorks dance around their mutual feelings for each other, assuming that they are unrequited while we the audience and all their friends and family know that that's not the case. They'll stumble over their words and stare at each other longingly when the other isn't looking. Maybe there will be moments of jealousy when the other gets hit on by someone they know the other could he interested in. Maybe a guy flirts with Eddie and Buck does that thing where he tries so desperately to get all of Eddie's attention back on him. Maybe there will be moments here and there where one of them will attempt to confess their feelings, only to be interrupted before they can get the words out. Or they go into the conversation with shaky confidence only to completely change the subject when they realize they can't say it.

Eventually, one of their friends or family members intervenes because someone has to. The two of them are getting absolutely nowhere because they are too afraid to cross the line. I would love it if Maddie was the one to approach the conversation with Eddie. Mostly because I need more interactions between the two, but also because I think it makes the most sense for what Maddie would do in the situation. Sure, Buck is her brother, but she knows well enough after their previous conversations about Eddie that there is a very slim chance she can convince him to make the first move. I also just want Eddie to be the one to make the first move, period. For him to finally get to a place where he feels worthy enough to choose what he wants, and he does. And maybe that's the crux of his conversation with Maddie. That he doesn't feel worthy of Buck. And Maddie reassures him that that isn't the case. She tells him about how she used to feel the same way when she ran away from her family. How unworthy she felt for so long to be a mother and a wife after the bathtub incident with Jee-Yun. How scared she was to make a mistake that would ruin everything. But eventually, she pushed through it, despite the fear, and came out on the other side so much happier. And Eddie can do the same. His past mistakes do not define him if he doesn't let them. She's seen how much the two of them matter to each other, how they make each other better people. She's also seen how miserable they can be when they are apart. So she tells him to think about it, encouraging him to face his fears and push through them for a chance at the life that he wants, one full of joy.

And he does think about it, over and over again, but maybe it still takes him a bit before he's ready. Maybe he even tries to plan out the perfect love confession once he gets there. And maybe all of that goes completely out the window one night when it's just the two of them sitting side by side on the couch in their apartment (omg please let them be roommates once Eddie and Chris come back). There's a moment while they're talking where their eyes meet. Then a pause in the conversation as they look into each other's eyes. And this is the moment where the dam breaks. Eddie tells Buck that he loves him. He's loved him for a very long time, longer than he probably even realizes. That he couldn't stop thinking about him while he was away in El Paso. How scared he has been to tell him since he realized, especially once he and Chris came back home. And maybe he just starts rambling at this point because he's being very vulnerable in this moment and he's not used to that and once he starts he can't stop himself. And Buck is waiting patiently for him to stop talking so he can say what he needs to say, but at a certain point, he realizes Eddie isn't going to and takes matters into his own hands. He kisses Eddie. And it's not a great first kiss. It's not really meant to be, just a pressing of lips together long enough to get Eddie to shut up for a second so that when Buck pulls away he can tell him, "I love you, too". They look at each other for a moment and smile before leaning in again for a second kiss. And it's perfect. They'll eventually need to talk more about where they go from here. How and when they'll tell Chris, the 118, and the rest of their families. But for right now, it's just them sharing their first intimate moment as a couple, putting aside all of their fears and worries for as long as they can to make this moment last.

Okay, but imagine this: Eddie feelings realization brought about through another lookalike/doppelganger storyline. I know this sounds out-there, but considering the whole Shannon/Kim storyline was an actual thing that existed in the show— and we know how much the writers love doing parallels and they've been doing some very fanfiction-esque stoylines with 8b— I don't think this is completely outside the realm of possibility so stay with me on this completely ridiculous stream of thought for a bit.

Now I was not and am still not really a fan of the whole Shannon/Kim doppelganger storyline but I think if they did it again in a very specific way with a Buck doppelganger it would be so interesting. With the Shannon/Kim doppelganger, the importance of it is for Eddie to finally get closure for himself. To say the things he never got a chance to say to her so he could move on from that relationship. I think a Buck doppelganger can also be used as a way for Eddie to say all the things he couldn't say to Buck before he left. Only, this doesn't serve the purpose of Eddie finding closure and moving on, but as a catalyst for him realizing the full extent of his feelings.

In the present day, Eddie finds himself back in his hometown— a place he tried so hard to run away from— to be there for his son. He built an entire life for himself back in LA and now he's gonna have to start all over again. So he puts himself out there, attempting to meet new people and make new friends. In the process, he ends up meeting a man who looks and sounds a little too much like his best friend. And he knows it's a bad idea; he has had to live with the reality of just how bad an idea this is for months following what happened with Kim. But he misses his best friend so bad. Sure, they talk and do video calls to stay in touch, but it's not the same. He's not there with him in El Paso being a consistent presence in his life, and he feels so lonely without that presence. So he befriends this Buck doppelganger. They hit it off and start to spend more and more time together, and eventually, either Eddie decides to come clean or Buck's doppelganger finds out about his resemblance to Eddie's best friend, prompting Eddie to explain the whole situation and apologize for lying.

Maybe at this point, his Buck had already gone through his 8x11 storyline. He's already been confronted with the idea that his feelings for Eddie aren't platonic, and he's doing everything to push that train of thought aside. He can't entertain the idea that he is in love with his straight best friend, as he likes to say. He needs to distance himself from whatever feelings might be there. Which also includes distancing himself from Eddie. He doesn't answer his calls as much, doesn't make an effort to reach out, finds other distractions so he has an excuse for why he wasn't available to talk, etc. And it's driving Eddie crazy. He's never felt so disconnected from Buck, and it's starting to have an effect on his ability to function at this point.

So when Eddie tells him all this and Buck's doppelganger asks him what he would say to him right now if he could, Eddie throws all caution to the wind.

He says all the things he's been wanting to say, even the things he didn't know he wanted to say. He tells him how sorry he is for leaving. That he knows how deep Buck's abandonment issues run and how painful it is to have another person in his life leave him. How much he would give to have been able to stay and spare him that hurt. Hell, the thought of asking Buck to leave with him had even crossed his mind more than once, but how could he ever ask that of him? Los Angeles was his home. The 118 were his family. He built a stable foundation for himself that he'd never had throughout most of his life. Eddie wasn't going to be the one to take a wrecking ball to that stable foundation. As much as Eddie would like to be, he isn't worthy of that kind of consideration. Who would throw their entire life away to be with him? He would never ask him to make that choice. Just as he knows Buck was never asking Eddie to make a choice between him and Chris. But Eddie felt like that was what he was doing at the time— making a choice between what he wanted and what was best for his son. A choice had to be made whether he liked it or not, and he would always choose his son. But, if pressed on it, he would have to admit that if the choice were between Buck and anyone else? Buck would win every single time. He would say that he missed him and he wanted him to be a constant in his life again, in both their lives again. That the distance being put between them, both literal and figurative, was killing him.

And as he's listening to this— to his newfound friend pouring his heart out to him like he's his best friend— Buck's doppelganger makes the realization that everyone else in their lives has, waits for Eddie to finish what he has to say, and says to him:

"Wow. You must really love him."

And that is the moment. Eddie hears those words, processes them, thinks about everything he just said, everything they had been through together, and realizes.

Oh.

That's what this thing between them has been. That's what all this heartache and loneliness and panic he's been experiencing in the last few weeks has been about.

"Yeah, I do."

And this realization does not just magically fix everything. It's a starting point. He still has to work through what happened with Chris, and this revelation may be a central point to helping him get there. Because it forces him to examine everything about his life up to this point. His relationship with Buck, his relationship with his family, his relationship with Shannon, his relationships with women and his sexuality in general, and his relationship with religion. And once he does all of that, he can make the decision to choose something different, for himself and for Chris. They can reconcile. They can move back to LA, back to their found family with the 118 and Buck. He can love his best friend and choose to make him a part of their family.

I also like the idea of doing a parallel between Shannon and Buck as love interests for Eddie because I do think their relationships share similarities despite all of their differences.

Despite the fact that I do absolutely think Eddie loved Shannon, I do not think he was ever really in love with her. He had a genuine care and love for her, yes, but so much of that care and love was tied up in her relationship to him as the mother of his child, not just as his wife. Her relationship with Eddie will always be a part of who he is, undoubtedly. She was a friend to him, someone he loved, the first person he was ever intimate with, his wife, and the mother of his son. She played so many important roles in his life, and she can be all of those things and still not be the love of his life, nor even someone he necessarily loved in a romantic sense at all. Because they were still just kids when they got together and had Chris. They were still trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted to do with their lives when they got pregnant and rushed into marriage and parenthood. All the decisions that followed that were messy and difficult and their relationship shifted completely overnight. Would they have ever gotten married if they didn't have Christopher? My guess is probably not, but we'll never know for sure. When Kim says to Eddie "I guess she was the love of your life," he doesn't say, "she was," he says, "I think she was." He knows he loved her, but he is unsure if she was ever "the one". In hindsight, I think he looks back on their relationship with rose-colored glasses a lot of the time. He talks about how they were together as if the glimpses we saw of them constantly fighting and leaving each other and avoiding big conversations never happened or weren't as prevalent. They did love each other, but they did not love each other in the ways that either one of them deserved.

Compare that with Eddie's relationship with Buck, and I would argue he has played all of these same roles in Eddie's life that Shannon did, but in a much more harmonious and stable way. He's also the only other character to take on all of these roles in Eddie's life to the extent that he does. They are best friends, they love each other, Buck has become a parental figure of sorts for Chris and would legally be his guardian if anything happened to Eddie, and he has a closeness with Eddie and has done things for him/with him that romantic partners often do. Despite their rocky beginning, they became fast and inseparable friends. They've had each other's backs through nearly every single trial and tribulation that they've faced for the past 7 years. Buck seamlessly fit into both Eddie and Chris' lives as well, all three of them spending so much quality time together. They have been mistaken for a couple before. Buck heard that Eddie was struggling with childcare for Chris and provided a solution without needing to be asked. He helped Eddie find a solution to accommodate Chris' disability when he wanted to try skateboarding. He fought like hell to try to keep Chris safe when the tsunami hit. Whenever they've had major accidents/NDE's in the line of work, they are always each other's primary concern. Eddie made the decision on his own to change his will to make Buck Christopher's legal guardian if anything happened to him, and he is unwavering in his conviction that he would be the only other person besides himself that would fight like hell to make sure Chris has everything he wants and needs. Which could mean nothing, but as a single dad, Eddie's main concern when it comes to dating and marriage has to be how it will affect his son; what kind of parent would the other person be to him? Buck was there for Chris when Eddie got shot. He was the first person Chris ran to when he was angry with Eddie. He was there for both of them when Eddie went through his breakdown. He was there for Eddie when Chris decided to leave. He offered to help Eddie find a new place to live in El Paso. He was present for nearly every showing of his place to find a subletter— this one is actually ridiculous, like there's no way those folks didn't think they were together. And the big one, he chose to give up his apartment to sublease Eddie's house so that Eddie could leave without worrying about expenses. The entire episode we see him struggle with and unintentionally sabotage Eddie's move. The last thing he wants is for another person to leave him, but he willingly and happily put what Eddie and Chris needed over what he wanted in the end. It is one of the most selfless and loving things he could do and he did it.

One of the key similarities that I've noticed between Eddie's relationships with Shannon and Buck is what they get into their most heated arguments about. In both of these relationships, the big fights that each pair has centers around the other person leaving and how that effects them and Chris. Yes, Buck ready has pre-established abandonment issues, but Eddie's issues with other people leaving really only come up in the context of his romantic partners and how them leaving will affect his son. For Eddie and Shannon, it was Eddie running away from his responsibilities as a husband and father twice by enlisting in the army and Shannon doing the same once he came back into their lives. When she attempts to re-enter their lives, the main point of contention is whether or not she'll even stay if Eddie allows her back in. Ultimately, she does decide to leave once she's back in their lives, if only temporarily, to find out who she is as a person independent of her role as a wife and mother when she realizes she's not ready, and I don't blame her for that. But then she dies and that loss is permanent. Eddie doesn't get closure until he meets Kim and gets to say how he feels. How hurt he is that Shannon left seemingly without any consideration for him. She left a note for their son, but left nothing for him and that is devastating. His first major fight with Buck is over the lawsuit. All three of them are forced into a situation where they cannot be in contact because of Buck's decisions, and their confrontation over it is one of the few times we see Eddie so visibly upset. It's not exactly a "leaving" situation per se, but the outcome is similar. Eddie cannot contact his best friend for help, with his own personal issues and with what's going on with Chris. They both miss him; it feels like he left them and Buck made the choice to put them in that position when he didn't have to. The second time they have a big fight, it's over Eddie leaving. More specifically, over Eddie's perceived lack of care about Buck's feelings on the matter. And I say perceived because he obviously does care, it does matter to him that he's leaving his best friend behind. But he can't fully acknowledge to what extent he does and he won't allow himself to because his feelings come secondary to what he thinks he needs to do as a father. I feel I should also note that despite Buck's abandonment issues, it is so telling how he acts in response to Eddie leaving vs how the rest of the 118 act. They all consider Eddie family just as much as Buck, but the degree to which he's crashing out over it would suggest to me that there's more to their relationship than they realize. The proposed scenario with the Buck doppelganger is meant to be the moment where he finally allows himself to be fully, completely honest with himself about what he feels, what he wouldn't say. And in the aftermath, he has to reckon with what that means for him, for Chris, and his relationship with Buck.

Another things of note when it comes to Eddie's relationships: Every time we see Eddie in a relationship with a woman, we often see him run away from it or sabotage the relationship when things start to get more serious. They never work out because there is always something wrong on his end. By contrast, Buck and Eddie are both actively struggling with Eddie leaving. Neither one of them wants him to leave and that is apparent with the shift we see in their behavior. Idk maybe we'll get a gay Eddie storyline. To me it seems like the most logical endpoint for his character. I mean, the guy literally said that he feels like he needs to "perform" when he's out on dates with women... Plus, Tommy did essentially imply that he clocked him in the most recent episode and if there's anyone I'm gonna trust to know he isn't straight, it's the openly gay man who also repressed his feelings for men for decades and almost married a woman.

Tldr; all this to say, Shannon was Eddie's first love and Buck will be his last.

Do I think any of this is actually gonna happen in the show? No, I highly doubt it. But it was a fun little thought experiment about how I think this scenario would play out. I know this is ridiculously long, so if you read to the end, thank you!

Okay so I'll just say it because I've been thinking it for a while, but the weird dislike or sometimes even hatred for Eddie Diaz (and Ryan Guzman) that is present in this fandom feels (at times) incredibly forced at best and downright racist at worst. And he's already a pretty white-washed character as it is. This is not in any way meant as a call-out to any one person in particular, and certainly not me saying he's a perfect character above critique, but my god, I need people to inject a little bit of nuance into their views of these characters. I love Buck as much as the next 9-1-1 fan, but he is not this perfect angel who can do no wrong like some people act like he is. Likewise, Eddie has made a lot of mistakes and done a lot of shitty things (some of which Buck himself has done, too). But at the end of the day, I think he is a very complex character who is doing the best he can with what he has and means well. I don't know why some of you are in this fandom if you dislike these characters as much as it appears you do.

And the SHIPPING WARS MY GOD STOP IT. I usually stay out of shipping discourse because I think it's ridiculous and unnecessary most of the time. Ship and let ship is always an option, and I think most people would benefit from choosing it. And listen, I will admit my bias and say I am primarily a Buddie shipper. But I have no issue with Bucktommy shippers as a whole nor the ship itself being popular. Do I ship it? No. I don't even particularly like Tommy as a character, but I don't care if other people like him and the ship. What I do have an issue with, however, is the way some of y'all act with such vitriol towards Buddie shippers, Buddie as a ship, and, specifically, Eddie Diaz as a potential love interest for Buck. This is where I think some people's underlying racial bias really becomes apparent, and no, I'm not talking about all BuckTommy shippers, only those that are explicitly anti-Buddie because they don't like Eddie. Because why, WHY are you so insistent on seeing these two white men together, who have had so little time together on screen and, in my opinion, have been shown to have very little in common with each other other than the fact that they care about and are interested in each other romantically, but so against Buck potentially being in a relationship with a different man who he has been best friends with for the better part of a decade, who wrote him into his will, cares deeply about him and who he cares about just as much, spends a lot of his free time with, and who also happens to not be white? Look, I'm not gonna sit here and say every single one of you is a raging racist or anything. I don't know you. But I think a lot of y'all would benefit from a little bit of introspection as to why you feel the way that you do about some of these characters and ships. Also, yes, Buddie shippers can be toxic and racist, too. I am not saying Buddie shippers are above those behaviors as well, only making an observation specific to some people's anti-Buddie and anti-Eddie sentiment.

Also, this is an aside, but the way fandom and shipping culture in general has gravitated towards strict adherence to canon content is.... weird. Like, why are some of y'all so allergic to engaging with or creating content outside of the confines of what the canon material has offered you? Have fun, be creative, go wild, and also be respectful to the folks around you who see things differently. We all share this space, and we should all care about making it as positive and welcoming of an experience as possible.

AND ANOTHER THING:

I am disappointed that we didn't get a scene where Buck and Eddie actually went through the house and packed up everything Eddie wanted to bring with him to El Paso. It would have been nice to see them interact as Eddie decided what furniture and memories were the most important, that he couldn't part with. Also, it would have been cute to have Buck pick up and pack away something that Eddie may have forgotten about but that he knows Eddie would want to take with him. Because he knows Eddie and what he would find important. I wish they could have had a moment to reminisce about the memories they had together and with Chris in the house before they said their goodbyes. But alas, we did not get to see that 😔

Post-Episode 8x10 Buddie Thoughts

"You matter to me" Ugh just tell him you love him pleaseeee

That hug did not feel platonic in any way. I'll have to go back and watch it later, but the closeup focus on their faces before they pull away feels so much more significant in a way their previous hugs have not.

The awkwardness with which they interacted with each other as well can only be described as "how people act around their crush, nervous af"

Buck was so fucking awkward I love that dork. He does not know how to act normal about his feelings. He has to know, right??? The final shot of him as Eddie drives away feels like a revelation

I NEED TO KNOW IF EDDIE LEFT THE COUCH TO BUCK

Post-Episode 8x10 Buddie Thoughts

"You matter to me" Ugh just tell him you love him pleaseeee

That hug did not feel platonic in any way. I'll have to go back and watch it later, but the closeup focus on their faces before they pull away feels so much more significant in a way their previous hugs have not.

The awkwardness with which they interacted with each other as well can only be described as "how people act around their crush, nervous af"

Buck was so fucking awkward I love that dork. He does not know how to act normal about his feelings. He has to know, right??? The final shot of him as Eddie drives away feels like a revelation

I NEED TO KNOW IF EDDIE LEFT THE COUCH TO BUCK