Falling In Love - Blog Posts
THIS IS SO CUTE OMG
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“Are you scared to look into my eyes?” he teased, holding my hips tightly as I straddled his waist. He watched me with heavy eyes, his head laid back against my pillows. The day had slipped by soundlessly, and we watched the evening swallow the sun from my twin-sized bed.
“You’re trying to make me nervous,” I whined, staring down at his hands. He reached to open the window, the muscles in his neck taut. I imagined letting a finger trace down the tight tendon, trailing below his cotton t-shirt to find the end of it.
“Is it working?” he smirked, grabbing his pack of cigarettes. My throat went dry, and I watched the flash of the lighter in silence. His eyes closed as he inhaled, his stubbled cheeks hollowing. I craved the friction of his jaw, thinking of the red marks it would leave on my skin. I longed for any sign of him, any proof that he was real. He blew smoke from the side of his mouth out the window. “Is it?” he repeated.
“No,” I lied, and he laughed, placing the cigarette between my lips.
“Look at me,” he whispered. He left his fingers pressed against my mouth as I took a slow drag, his dark eyes burning into mine. He watched the smoke curl out of my mouth, pleased. “Pretty.” He put the cigarette back in his mouth, letting it hang from his lip. I had to look away.
“It would be easier if you didn’t look at me like that,” I mumbled, taking the cigarette from his lips and stubbing it out. He frowned, tilting his head to the side.
“Like what?” he drawled, hiding a smirk. He wanted me to say it aloud, as he always did. He could coax anything from my lips.
“Don’t start,” I reached for his hand, pushing the rough pads of his fingers against my cheekbone. He thumbed the corner of my mouth.
“You don’t like how I look at you?” he asked, determined. He let out an exaggerated, ragged sigh. “That hurts, darling.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say that.”
“Alright,” he clapped his hand over his eyes, “Better?” I giggled to mollify him. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he returned the gesture almost immediately.
“You’re peeking,” I gasped, and he shrugged, removing his hand and placing it on my other cheek, cradling my head.
“Whatever,” he grunted, and shifted to sit a bit more upright, “Have you got anything to drink?”
“I thought you had to go home soon,” I said, turning my head to kiss his palm.
“Oh, let me stay, baby,” he pleaded, wrapping his fingers in my hair, “Please?”
“I have a bit of wine,” I smiled, and he kissed my forehead. He flipped us over, kissing at my neck as my back arched against the mattress. I covered my grin with my hand, skin flushing at his gratitude.
“Give me a kiss, darling,” his mouth found mine, placing a round, weighted kiss. His tongue drifted to mine, the taste of sharp tobacco and toothpaste filling my mouth. The friction of his unshaven face burned my jaw, and I stifled a moan. He breathed through a laugh, lips turning upwards against mine.
“Don’t laugh,” I meant to sound firm, but it came out as a whimper. His hands were crawling over me.
“I’m not,” his chest was pressed flush to mine, making each of my inhales a challenge, “You’re so pretty.” I huffed, turning my head away at his compliment.
“Don’t,” I warned again.
“What?” he laughed, feigning innocence, “My pretty girl.” I looked at him sternly, and he dropped his head to my chest, shoulder shaking with silent laughter.
“Go get the wine.”
“Sure,” he trailed his hand down my arm, catching my wrist and kissing the back of my hand, “Stay like this for me.” I buried my head in the pillow.
//
Scared Of Falling
Thanks to my ex I'm scared of falling Are you going to break me next? I don’t want to lead you on For me to start playing the love game would be wrong I'm scared of falling, For you I don’t even know if you and your girl are done brawling I do like your three sizes too big hat On the futon, I like where you sat For you I believe I'm falling for I'm just getting over the flu Oh Kyle, Are you going to leave me in a heart-broken pile? I believe I'm falling for, Kyle Which one of us is going to be the first to walk out the door? I really wonder if you write songs Have you ever played ping-pong? Kyle, You seem more down to earth I don’t mind if you hang around for a while Just know that I might not be ready To get with the worse than a soft, stuffed, teddy You seem more down to earth The way you looked at me I think you could tell what I'm worth No pressure is what you said, backstage You were on the same page The way you looked at me, Made me smile Would you mind if it sometimes felt as if I was trying to flee? Should I let myself fall? Or will I end up crippled and have to crawl? You made me smile Yes, you, Kyle For me would you go the extra mile? If so, would you stick around for a while?
Your scent is like a drug to me like my own personal brand of heroin.
—Stephenie Meyer, Twilight (The Twilight Saga, #1)
Teri meri nazrein hi iane hain sara jo majra
— Besharam Si Nazrein
It was just a good joint, good conversations and a good fuck
Then why did my inner child feel safe with you?
So, why aren't you guys together?
Because he is different in front of others
What was he supposed to do? Forget her like a vivid dream? Or remember her like a distant reality?
— Cross You Heart, Take My Name.
Maybe, in the end, our hopes were the wrong way around. But what am I, what are you, if not a misdiagnosis? And if so, is there a way out?
—Haruki Murakami, The Elephant Vanishes.
si vis amari, ama ‘If you wish to be loved, love'
क्या आप मुझ पर खफ़ा हैं?
ये सासे जो पुकारती है मुझे, आपके हैं?
नस-नस में जो खून बेह रहा हैं,
न जाने कहाँ जा रहा हैं
काश इस जिंदगी ने बोल दी होती
सासे लेना क्या गुनाह हैं मेरी?
इश्क तेरी आंखों में लिखा, पढने दे ज़रा,
हमको भी गालिब होना है,
इन गज़लों सी आँखों में खोना है,
Ishq Teri Aankhon Mein Likha, Padhne De Zaraa
Humko Bhi Ghalib Hona Hai
Inn Gazal’on Si Aankhon Mein Khona Hai
Kalank (2019) 2:13:10
क्या कहे हम इश्क़ में ईस कदर बेज़ुबां हो गए
कि तुमसे जुदा होके हम तबाह हो गए।
Kya kahe ishq me is kadar bezubaan ho gaye
Ki tumse juda hoke hum tabaah ho gaye
Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.
You were holding my heart in the palms of your hand. You could have been gentle yet you decided to crush it.
He's obsessed with her body right now. She likes him like this—kissing every part of her like he's deriving life force from it.
—When I am with you, Durjoy Datta.
𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆.
You have stopped missing me at 2 AM also.
“Loving someone is like moving into a house,” Sonja used to say. “At first you fall in love with all the new things, amazed every morning that all this belongs to you, as if fearing that someone would suddenly come rushing in through the door to explain that a terrible mistake had been made, you weren’t actually supposed to live in a wonderful place like this. Then over the years the walls become weathered, the wood splinters here and there, and you start to love that house not so much because of all its perfection, but rather for its imperfections. You get to know all the nooks and crannies. How to avoid getting the key caught in the lock when it’s cold outside. Which of the floorboards flex slightly when one steps on them or exactly how to open the wardrobe doors without them creaking. These are the little secrets that make it your home.”
— A man called Ove, Fredrick Bachman.
You were one wish away. But sadly, there were no shooting stars on the night sky
“You don’t fool me, darling,” she said with a playful little smile and crept into his big arms. “You’re dancing on the inside, Ove, when no one’s watching. And I’ll always love you for that. Whether you like it or not.”
— A Man called Ove, Fedrik Backman
I dream. Sometimes I think that's the only right thing to do.
— Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
And this love is about to carry me off somewhere. The current’s too overpowering; I don’t have any choice. It may very well be a special place, some place I’ve never seen before. Danger may be lurking there, something that may end up wounding me deeply, fatally. I might end up losing everything. But there’s no turning back. I can only go with the flow. Even if it means I’ll be burned up, gone forever.
— Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?
— Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
Understanding is but the sum of our misunderstandings.
— Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
Sputnik Sweetheart made her think of Laika, the dog. The man-made satellite streaking soundlessly across the blackness of outer space. The dark, lustrous eyes of the dog gazing out the tiny window. In the infinite loneliness of space, what could the dog possibly be looking at?
— Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
Love can't cure a mental illness.
— Heartstopper, Alice Oseman
You can just be there. To listen. To talk. To cheer him up if he's having a bad day. And on the bad days, you can ask what you can do to make things easier. Standing by his side, even when things are hard. But also knowing that...sometimes people need more support than one person can give. That's love, darling.
— Heartstopper, Alice Oseman