Fic Recs - Blog Posts
My favourite fics from other authors!!
MCU:
daisies - peter parker by @starktonyx
As it was - Steve x reader, Bucky x reader by @heli0s-writes
Never again - bucky barnes by @houseravenclaws
tap - bucky barnes by @houseravenclaws
the box - peter parker by @waitimcomingtoo
incorrect quotes ft. peter x y/n by @eunoiathewriter
begging with scott lang by @ragnarachel
trouble in paradise - peter parker by @ptergwen
your mess - peter parker by @peterbenjiparker
stark!reader x peter by @ptergwen
phone sex blurb w peter by @sgrantsgf
twenty bucks Peter parker by @deathbyathousandspiders
Wizarding World:
interrupted - neville longbottom by @nevillesimp
the one that got away - harry potter by @george-fabian-weasley
angry love confession in the rain - sirius black by @salazarslytherin
jealousy, jealousy - james potter by @letterstotheflre
Poly!marauders smut by @strawberrysodaslut
Celebrities
Chris being in love with Y/N for 7 mins video by @astranva
You'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me - Tom Holland by @waitimcomingtoo
Thirst tweets with Chris Evans and Y/N L/N by @put-trash-here
The friendship test - Joseph Quinn by @magicchai
ground rules - Joesph Quinn by @icallhimjoey
Criminal Minds
Touch starved - Spencer Reid by @donald4spiderman
Your relationship with Hotch is exposed by @ddejavvu
You walk in on Spencer talking to his fish by @radiant-reid
You obsess over Hotch and he overhears EVERYTHING by @kryptonitejelly
The team finds out you and Hotch are married by @kryptonitejelly
Jack calls you 'momma', outing you and Hotch's relationship by @kryptonitejelly
Another one where Jack outs you and hotch's relationship by @kryptonitejelly
A third one where jack outs your relationship with Hotch by @kryptonitejelly
The one where everyone finds out - You and Spencer (reid) are in love but you just don't know. by @reidscanehand
Don't think I don't like you - Spencer Reid by @luveline
Reid wears Glasses - Spencer Reid by @luveline
The fear of falling apart - Spencer Reid by @pathologicalreid
Stranger things
Whispering dirty things into Eddie's ear as a dare by @erosso
Eddie being pussy drunk - Eddie Munson by @subbypeterparker
Admiring Steve Harrington by @masmybeloved (deactivated acc)
Three's a crowd, but four's a party - Eddie, Steve, Robin x reader by @glasvera
Out loud - Eddie Munson by @iheartyouyou
Billy Hargrove noticing the little things by @fbfh
Bi!fem!reader x steve harrington by @eufezco
Eddie and daughter!Roan x reader series by @luveline
Dead wrong - Steve Harrington by @lucasnclair
I cannot possibly recommend this fic enough. This destroyed me from the inside out, I cried multiple times man :') it's so fucking beautifully written like I swear this shit altered my brain chemistry. Please read this I beg of you, it is soul crushing in the best way possible and definitely a must-read. This has been added to the permanent library in my brain of fics that absolutely decimated my perception of reality. I will be taking several thousand business days to recover
i drew maybe my most favorite scene in that one fic i wrote hehe it’s a slightly different artstyle, i now remember why i hate greyscale :’)
My favorites from the supernatural x danny phantom category
Complete-
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10702723/
(This may be the only complete story in this whole crossover category)
Incomplete-
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12415928/1/A-Supernatural-Phantom
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10130734/1/Nephilim
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12939571/1/Caged
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10608301/1/I-can-Explain
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11190292/1/Connection
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11076842/1/Of-Angels-Grace-and-Dead-Teenagers
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13419403/1/Wayward-Son
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12841296/1/Truly-Supernatural
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12068008/1/The-boy-with-the-Dead-Eyes
Oneshots-
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9205194/1/Sacred-Circle
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9705310/1/Salt-and-Iron
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12350895/1/Salt-and-Iron-Follow-Up
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9739824/1/Dead-Man-s-Blood
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9998504/1/Who-ya-gunna-call
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10477121/1/Summoned
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10551698/1/Snowy-Angel
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11037090/1/Paradiso
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11252779/1/The-Fires-Burn-at-Midnight
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11785909/1/when-the-sun-burns-out
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12014280/1/Summoned
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13472707/1/Supernatural-oddity
Jayroy fic recs because on occasion I can be normal about them :D
As I Burn Another Page by essidera (series, 75,886 words, unfinished)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/2249757
So much angst you could cut it with a knife. A delightful look at Jason and his trauma surrounded by oodles of hurt/comfort.
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid by thegreatestsun(T, 73,389 words, finished)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23818153/chapters/57228667
I don't know Lian in canon; this is canon to me. Lian doesn't know her dads are 1) dating and 2) vigilantes. Both of these come to light and Lian has to deal with that.
And everyone things I dodged a bullet, but I think I shot the gun by Daisyapples (T, 15,130, finished)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/56647105
No-Arsenal AU, but Jason is still Red Hood. Everything is soft and delightful (Roy also gets kidnapped but he's fine everything is fine)
Jane Austen Never Said Anything About Speed Dating by Jason_Todd_Bookseller (T, 36,673 words, unfinished)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/33359026/chapters/82850050
Fake dating rom-com AU. Roy starts dating Jason to get their families off their backs, and there's a lot of revelations and healing from Jason's previous romantic relationship. This fic is disgustingly cute.
Things My Heart Used to Know by poisonivory (T, 37,488 words, finished)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561081/chapters/62027743
Inspired by Anastasia (lol). Roy finds an amnesiac "Jay" and decides to con Bruce Wayne for the reward money of finding Jason Todd-Wayne...except that Jay remembers things that Roy never told him.
(additional shoutout to poisonivory because they have a ton of really great jayroy stuff!)
While You Were Missing by caffeinatedbasil (T, 85,629 words, finished)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/52862479/chapters/133712791
I will never be normal about this fic. It's my absolute favorite jayroy fic. DCxWC, but the crossover is seamless. Featuring single dad!Jason, the wonder that is Jade Nguyen, and delicious platonic/familial relationships all around (not to mention the pining! the yearning...).
Sharing to spread the stories with others. ☺️
DC/DP fics
i love these okay, I would sell my soul for these, all amazing, and yeah the descriptions are by me because I was too lazy for copy and past none of these have smut! and most are dead on main
Assembly required by PaperPuffin
Tim gets lost in IKEA and Danny helps Jason find him. Dead on Main. Complete.
Wait, I'm a what? by Atiya_Blackcharm
Danny kinda adopts a neighborhood and becomes a crime lord, not a ton of interaction with the bats but it's ongoing. No ship
Smash or Pass? by nddshkwch
Danny is asked his opinion of Red Hood and says smash, then he goes viral and a very cute Dead on Main fic ensues. Complete.
I Just Wanted a Grilled Cheese, Man by ReaderRevolution
personally it's my favorite Danny kills the Joker fic, and I love those, anyhow thought i'd add my fav of this troupe. Dead on Main. Finished.
Ghostly Delivery by WeirdNCrazy
Danny takes a vacation and works in a pizza shop, shenanigans ensue when heroes start ordering pizza. This fic is to die for, it's a decent length for crack, hilarious, and the Danny is so sarcastic. I would marry the author, no hesitation. And it has no ship. I forget if it's finished or not.
A Little Overshadowing Never Hurt Anyone by Playedcrowd5610
so Danny gets kidnapped for info by the bats, overshadows Tim in an attempt to get out, yeah funny cute and a bit of angst. No ship. Kinda incomplete but it ends on a good note, also abandoned.
Cold Brew by Sendryl
it's very short, but fun and giggly, the whole series is amazing and I highly recommend reading all of them, I'm pretty sure there's fanart somewhere in there too so that's a bonus. Is Dead Tired/Brain dead
Bus to Nowhere by foldingfacets
most people have read this one but I had to add it. it features a homeless Danny in Gotham, it's funny has trauma, PTSD the works, and Danny doesn't end up adopted, and from what I remember it's incomplete and I'm not sure if it's abandoned or the author just irregularly updates. No ship.
If You Give a Bat a Burger by Cielle_Noire
Another fic that most people have read, it has a Danny in the occult scene kinda, actually it's been forever since I read it and I'm crap at descriptions. just it's good. No ship. Ongoing, really long.
Bleeding Out, Bleeding In by PaperPuffin
highly recommend, and the whole series is lovely, a crazy inventor Danny who works for Jason after saving him. Very cute, trauma angst the works. This was hard to find so if you like it put it on a list or book mark it, because I spent like 30 minutes trying to find it and I remembered direct quotes from it. Pretty sure it's complete.
To Whom It May Concern by Sagoberattare
Jazz and Danny find out they are clones, they write letters to their gene donors and trauma dump. Funny and I liked it, it's ongoing I believe.
I honestly just wanted a place to put down all my fics, originally I was gonna keep this in drafts, and then I remembered others might want recs. I may not have your taste, and you might dislike these, I personally enjoyed them though.
let me know if the links don't work, thanks :)
Because I'm interested, what are some of your favorite fanfics and what fanfics do you love but feel like they should be more popular than they currently are?
You fool.... you have opened the flood gates!
I'm going to stick with the fics that deserve more attention because also listing my favorites that are popular would make this post way too long
In The After by HopeNight. It's a post-canon fic that ignores everything past the Cultural Festival Arc, and follows Midoriya training a girl named Watashi Kiyomi who wants to be a Quirkless Hero. It's excellent and severely underloved.
Ripples on Deep Water by Silver_Snek, which is a rewrite of a fic I really enjoyed up until the ending took a sudden turn, which I assume is related to it being rewriten. This rewrite is still on chapter one, and hasn't updated in... a bit, but I have high hopes.
Don't Forget The Support by FandomsandFlowers, if you want that delicious Support-Heroics Hybrid Quirkless Midoriya
A Sort of Patchwork by DyedViolet, sadly discontinued after the author fell out of the fandom, but otherwise an extremely good urban fantasy with Quirks AU
Syzygy Series by orkestrations. It's Dad For One but everyone already knows and is supportive, and is real good
The Kaiju Hero: Titan Monarch by TreeKiller. The fic that hooked me on Hero Course Hatsume. Should note it has some All Might bashing and Endeavor accidentally gets Inko killed very early on, but if you're cool with that it's fun and wild. Also hasn't updated in a while.
Paper Agency by The Feels Whale, which I'm surprised to see has >100,000 hits. Due to a Department of Education scandal, Midoriya wasn't allowed into any high school. If you think this will stop him, I don't know what manga you've been reading. Starts after graduation.
Okay so Izuku Midoriya vs the World may have been orphaned, but it also has the most interesting take on All Might Negativity I've ever seen in that his entire character arc is overcoming the internalized discrimination he faced growing up that he never had to examine after getting OFA. Abusive Inko.
Flashback by Psyckosama has less than 100,000 hits and that should be a crime. It is easily one of the best Time Travel Fixits, and has some really cool worldbuilding.
Inheritor of Two by The_Mad_Mystic. It's very similar to Chaos For All. Be aware that Midoriya does lose a limb though.
Crossfire by CosmicMerman. Midoriya fakes a Quirk by buying experimental nanites online.
Shared Dream by Beaumains. Midoriya adopts a cat with a Quirk that lets the cat share traits with people she bonds with. So now he has an intelligent cat he can talk to with his mind and also cat mutations.
Duplicity And All Its Cold Comforts by DragonflyxPardoies. Wanna watch a bunch of kids take down society?
Blood and bones and heroism by Elia41. More urban fantasy fused with MHA. Interesting in that after learning magic, Midoriya figures he may as well make his classmates at UA learn magic too.
Born of cold (and winter air) by StormySkiesAhead. Yes it's another urban fantasy. No I will never be sick of them. Midoriya and Todoroki are dragons, and there are a handful of other magical being in Class 1-A. The LoV breaks into Endeavor's agency to glue tiny plastic camels to everything. Literally what more could you want?
i'll be your biggest kept secret and your biggest mistake by sascake. This one has a pretty dark backstory as a future fic, so be careful of that. Namely, there was an explicit suicide attempt. While it's never shown in detail it's discussed pretty heavily, so be careful about that. Despite that it's mostly a cute love story about Midoriya and Todoroki.
Elemental Storm by CatnipKDODO, who follows this blog, so hi! This fic is getting a rewrite but this version is still available for reading. It has that fandom concept of a third transferable Quirk, in this case one themed around all the elements. Hurricane, that Canadian Hero from WIMTBAH is a cameo from this fic. Tagged as All Might bashing but really isn't.
Drown Together by Zirconium40. Wanna watch everyone destroy society? Darkest HPSC depiction I've seen.
Parallel Lines by Endivinity. Midoriya has AFO and is implied to have killed AFO. Mysteries abound.
if I make it through tonight, everybody's gonna hear me out! by x_asche_13. Described as a Leverage AU, and has one of my favorite 'Izuku and Himiko are siblings' dynamics.
Then I'll Do It My Way by justaglitch. BAMF Yaoyorozu.
Defiant by arc1m3d35. OFA!Uraraka and AFO!Midoriya are trapped on an island AFO uses to hold animalistic Noumu.
Son of a Gun by Randomsumofagum. Izuku is the son of Inko and Nagant.
hell is empty (all the devils are here) by idiot_onion. Midoriya is possessed by a demon. This goes surprisingly well for him.
a cubic centimeter of flesh Series by Lucifra. Due to a series of coincidences and a serious mistake by AFO, Midoriya ends up killing him and stealing his body on complete accident.
My Battle Acamaidia by Drink_Some_Water. Shigaraki played a few too many games and decides that what he needs before the USJ attack... is maids. This is a surprisingly wholesome Villain!Fem!Midoriya fic
Key Lime Pie by Violetsumire, another person who follows this blog, hello! The future daughter of Inko and All Might was left unsupervised with Hatsume and naturally Hatsume sent her back in time, and she sets out to save Izuku's life. Discussed suicide.
Eldritch by CosmicAce. A rewrite. Death asked if anyone was gonna mom Izuku and didn't wait for an answer.
Thanks for including mine!
2022.02.01
Complete fics posted on AO3 this day
1. An Anchor of Time by J0J0_M0J0 [M, 106k]
►Draco has a pocket watch, a family heirloom. Instead of telling time, it informs him about the next coming moment —- how long till your potion burn, or your loved ones wither and lost. It has been seven years since the war was over. Draco now owns a small potion store in a far corner of Knockturn Alley. Despite all the loss and painful changes, he is somewhat settling with his current state of life. It is mostly quiet, which is good, until the day Harry Potter with severe sleep deprivation push open the door and steps into his store. Not long after, his face is stuck on his pocket watch. Harry has a problem for which only Draco has a cure. But perhaps, the problem fixing part is mutual.
2. Pumpkin, Pumpkin by @moonstruckwytch [T, 4k]
►Harry Potter brings home a kitten for his boyfriend. There’s only one problem, she needs a name.
3. Slow Show by Avonne [M, 14k]
►Harry doesn’t know the kind of love that isn’t forged in pain. He doesn’t understand slow and calm and easy. He can’t trust unconditional. After all, how could Draco love him if he’s not allowed to sacrifice himself for it? Draco shows him.
4. The White Pawn by @soupy-george [T, 80k]
►When eighteen-year-old Draco Malfoy finds himself back at Hogwarts on the eve of Voldemort’s infamous return, he is confronted with the most difficult decision he’s ever had to make: Relive the 6th year at school he’s tried so hard to forget, or do the unthinkable and ally himself with Potter’s lot…
—
Fest/Exchange
1. He’s Not Your Tesorino Anymore by @veelawings [M, 1k]
►Harry tried to ignore the creeping sensation of deja vu — Surely Malfoy would recognize him this time? ★ Kinkuary 2022 | @kinkuary
2. The Prisoner by @lushrooms [E, 1k]
►The Order have a prisoner bound and gagged, Harry offers him a chance to reciprocate. ★ Kinkuary 2022 | @kinkuary
Thanks so much for including my fic!!
🖤 mind the tags 💞 surprisingly sweet 🔥 this sex is on fire
Neville/Percy
It's Yours by @greenmegsnoham E // 3K // 💞🔥
oh ho ho - what a FUN pairing! this fic went for the "coming untouched" prompt and my oh my was it a fun one. I'd not thought of these two as working well together before but, phew: "'Well, you see,' said Neville, looking down at his Butterbeer. 'I know people look at me and think otherwise, but…' He lifted his gaze to meet Percy's. 'This Longbottom is the bottom.'"
Lily/Narcissa
Narcissa's Kindness by @thistlecat M // 3K // 🖤
intense. Narcissa rescues Lily from the Death Eaters, but at what cost? "'I didn’t realize how much blood there was in your hair. The red disguised it.' / 'Not all of us can have white blonde hair to show off our pure blood, Narcissa.' / She hoped her blood - her mudblood - got under Narcissa’s nails and never came out."
Other Pairings
Choke On It by @p1013 E // 498 // Drarry // 🔥
god I was hoping p1013 would be doing kinkuary again and, friends, the universe has blessed us: "Malfoy pulls back, and Harry gasps in a breath. His eyes are watering when he looks up, and through the blur of tears, Malfoy's expression is difficult to make out. There's pleasure in the curl of his lip, in the darkened shade of his grey eyes. But it's unclear if Malfoy really wants to feel pleasure from Harry's mouth wrapped around Malfoy's cock."
The Prisoner by @lushrooms E // 1695 // Drarry // 🖤🔥
we've got gagging on gagging, folks. 👀 "Malfoy’s gaze dropped down to Harry’s crotch and then back up again, eyebrow raised — somehow managing to look mocking despite being gagged and bound. Harry’s resolve to leave the gag on only strengthened."
This artwork by @kryptidfox E // Pansy/Ginny 🔥
For more info on my Kinky Shipuary posts, check out this post. Tomorrow we'll be back with "Voyeurism" and Draco/Pansy, Remus/Peter, and Hermione/Bellatrix.
Anyone have Supergirl centric fanfic recs that isn’t based on the show? Like comics based? Pls pls pls
the way this absolutely breaks my heart is just *chef's kiss*
EVERY CORNER OF THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED. (4)
Synopsis ! Jake had taken you as his own after Tsu'tey's passing, leaving no one to care for you. Things had been good before your relationship with him had blurred along growing of age. You and him fought all the time; argued each other's ear off and tonight was no different-- except words have been said, severing the already damaged bond. Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader. Mentions of violence and death. (wc: 4955 )
Neytiri was up early– too early.
She ran her hands tiredly over her face, her fingernails barely grazing the creases of her skin. Her eyes felt heavy, but it wasn’t tiredness that forced itself to weigh on her lids– it was the dread that continued to settle in; she could hardly make out the sound of the pot blowing out steam, rising in pitch with the soup threatening to boil over. The lid covering the kitchen pan was shaking fiercely, trying desperately to contain itself.
No, who was she kidding? She had lain awake all night, tossing and turning in her hammock. Not a single wink of sleep had been granted to her.
Neytiri swore her heart cried every time she took a deep breath, gravelly gasping along her. She couldn’t sleep even if she wanted to– not when tuk-tuk quivered in her embrace the whole night; the slightest movement made her flinch and the softest touch made her cry. It was gut-wrenching, the thought that her own child felt no safety in the arms of their mother.
Not my children, eywa. Not them too.
War had started long before her mate had come, Neytiri couldn’t blame him– but sometimes, late at night when the only sounds that grace her ears are the thoughts running through her head, she dreams of a life away from the wildfire and bullets; a life where she had fulfilled her mother's desires and took Tsu'tey’s hand instead. Every once in a while, the idea pierces her heart as she finds herself tucked in between Jake’s embrace. It felt wrong to think so, like being unfaithful, but not quite.
Tsu’tey was never someone who crossed her thoughts as a person that had gotten away from her, nor had she ever been attracted to him in a romantic way. It would’ve been an union of convenience; for the clan and the people itself. They would be unhappy– unhappy and awfully miserable. With Jake, it was something else entirely; like marriage had more meaning to it rather than a simple alliance. Sure, it was miserable, but they were happy– she was happy. Neytiri could never resent her mate, not when they’ve come so far already.
However, in terms of her children’s well-being, she couldn’t help but think if Jake was the bane of it all– the root of every bad thing that has happened to them. There were no softer words to lay it out, but they deserved better. Her children deserved none of this war.
She was crying again– crying for them. She let the beads of tears roll down her cheek as she stared afar with not a single coherent thought behind her eyes.
It was no surprise that Neteyam was already up with the sun rising. He moved quickly, quietly lowering the fire and lifting the lid of the pot with caution— hissing when its hot liquid splashed onto his skin. With a concerned look on his face, he glanced over at his mother who sat an arm’s length away from the very stove; how could she not have heard the loud cackle of her own cooking? He was sure it would’ve caused a wildfire if not for him.
He slowly moved closer to Neytiri, gingerly reaching out and nudging her with his fingertips. He was mindful not to startle her already tired state. “Sa’nok– sa’nok?” Neteyam called out to her, “Sa’nok, are you okay?”
Neytiri stirred just slightly, turning her head to view the worried face of her eldest. Her lips thinned involuntarily, a feeling of relief washing over her; her children were here, safe and sound. Nothing will happen to them– not ever. As long as she lived, they will never be harmed ever again. No demon would take this away from her.
A wave of panic swept over her as she finally realized that she had been cooking before. She quickly turned back to see a billowing cloud of smoke rising from its surface. Neytiri cursed under her breath as her small attempts at fanning away the fog that had settled upon the area were to no avail, finding herself in a fit of coughing. “Why don’t you get y/n?” She requested, voice strained. “She can help with breakfast.”
With a heavy sigh, Neteyam could only nod, quickly leaving.
Right, y/n– you. When was it never about you?
Neteyam grumbled as he dragged his feet towards their thatched hut, kicking at every pebble that came across his path with a grunt. It wasn’t you who had woken up early to assist Neytiri nor was the one who had stopped fire from possibly spreading and yet, your name just had to be the first he’d heard today.
It was you. Always you.
Neteyam would be a big fat liar if he said it didn’t affect him. He saw you as a parasite – a damn leech that was draining the life out of everyone around him. He couldn't understand why you had to be so selfish and callous; why you were unable to look past Jake’s reprimands when all he desired was your well-being or how you had driven his own mother to such anguish that it became her own undoing.
You weren’t a kid anymore. On top of that, you weren’t theirs– so why had you always been on top of their priority? Why had you become a chore?
But never his, oddly enough. You were too good for him and he hated that.
(Heavy steps thudded behind Jake as Neteyam trailed, his disappointment palpable. He had been unsuccessful in his mission to persuade his father to let him come along on today’s expedition, always quick to dismiss him. He had gone through all the training, but what was the point if he still wouldn't be able to put it into practice?
Being olo’eyktan one day will never feel rewarding.
“It’s too dangerous, Neteyam.” Jake grumbled under his breath, eyes never meeting his as he gathered his arrows. “I need you here. Make sure Lo’ak doesn’t follow– do you copy?”
Neteyam couldn't help but wince when he remembered the time they had failed to be spotters, but it was just that one time– why couldn’t he let it go? It weighed down heavily on his conscience; the mistake that even still, months later, sent shame prickling on every fiber of his being.
Jake expected a copy in return– a curt yes-sir but Neteyam was silent. He finally urged himself to look up, only to see both his eldest locked in an intense stare, eyes never wavering nor breaking away from one another.
It clicked almost instantly the moment you walked through the flap of the hunt, clutching on the strap of your woven bag that held your own weapons. The war-paint drawn across your face had been the salt on the already deep cut of his– you were coming. Jake had asked you to come and he wasn’t.
You were looking down at him, Neteyam was sure of it; judging him, and no doubt thinking of how much he had failed himself. His sense of shame deepened as he saw the derision in your expression, feeling more exposed than ever before. He wanted to disappear right then and there, anything to escape this moment that felt like an eternity.
But you were there. You always were– and you could see straight through him.
If only he knew how different your mind worked– how you desperately ached for the same concern Jake had for his son. You wanted him to understand the immense longing to be seen in the same light that he was in, to receive even a fraction of his unwavering affection; wanted Jake to care enough that this could be the last hunt he would have with you, that you could get hurt or worse.
Jake was worried enough to sit his golden-child down; the one with capabilities greater than those warriors years older than him– the one he would make olo’eyktan someday.
Not you. Never you.
Neteyam was the first to turn away, a deep rugged grunt leaving his lips as he nodded once.
“Lima charlie.” )
What really messed with his head was that, despite his obvious resentment, he couldn’t actually bring himself to truly despise you the way he felt he should. Every time Neteyam looks at you, he swears he only sees himself– the same child that only yearns for the recognition of a father. There is a reflection of each other in the two of you that binds you nonetheless.
He wanted to truly look up to you; he wanted what Lo’ak, Kiri, and Tuk felt when they were with you– to have someone older, to feel as if the weight on his shoulders wasn’t his alone. Neteyam tried, he really did, but as much as you were there, you also weren’t.
It wasn’t always like this. Your relationship with him wasn’t built entirely on rivalry– he knows he had something more familial with you before, but whatever it was had blurred along age. As much as he wanted to come closer, you were always two steps ahead of him. To you, he will always be olo’eyktan– but never a brother.
It was a harsh reality– the same hands that cradled him when he was small couldn’t even look at him the same; like he had grown so ugly that you couldn’t recognize him at all. You didn’t even want to fly your ikran with him, nor did you want to train the same time he did.
He hated you, but not quite– he could never hate his sister. You were more of a stranger now that lived under the same roof as him and it was better than to perceive you as someone rather horrible– but that was what you were. A horrible, horrible stranger. Someone who saved him once from trouble and handed him years of headache in return.
You were a horrible sister. That’s what you are.
(“Tsmuke, what do I do?”
You couldn't believe your eyes as you gazed down at the mess on the floor of the hut. Beads were all over, and what used to be a clay tray laid shattered into several pieces. Neteyam stood still in midst of it all— the culprit of such doing evident. Your brain wracked itself to move, to do something.
“This is sa’nok’s favorite necklace. She told me to come get it for her, but the shelf was too high–” Neteyam spoke in a rush, hands gesturing wildly as he talked. His face crumpled in worry and his brow furrowed with frustration.
"’Teyam, don't move!" you said in a hurry, alarmed at the thought of him taking a step forward. Moving quickly to his side, you gently stopped him from doing so and scooped him up under his armpits. He was heavy in your arms as you stood there with him, but the shards beneath were sharp enough to cut skin. You grunted as you moved him aside.
"Tsmuke, what are we going to do?" He asked again, his voice running high with worry.
You tried to think of another solution, assessing the situation once more. You glanced at him and said, "I'm going to tell ma I broke it so she won't be mad at you." You quickly search for something sturdy enough to scoop the pieces off the floor. Maybe you can redo the necklace, but there was no salvaging the tray.
“But I broke it– she’ll know.” He visibly deflates, not exactly thrilled about not being truthful to Neytiri.
“Only if you tell her.” You said, looking up at him with a slight smile, though your heart was racing. You felt terrible knowing that you were going to disappoint Neytiri, especially since her beloved necklace had snapped– but something about your little brother's worry-stricken expression tugged on your heartstrings. You understood why her scolding was necessary, but it felt wrong to leave him alone to bear the brunt of it. “This will be our little lie, okay?”
“Lie?”
You immediately dismiss him, gesturing impatiently for him to exit the hut as quickly as possible. “I’ll tell you about it later, but you have to promise now that whatever mom says, just know that I broke it.”
He only offered a subtle nod in response, his eyes glossed over as he nervously played with his hands.
“Say it, ‘teyam. She’ll be back any minute now!”
"You broke it!" Neteyam had shouted and almost as if in response, Neytiri had walked in through the hut's entrance, all but gasping as she took in the sight before her– shards of what once held her jewelry now on the floor. She stumbled slightly as she carried the basket of fruits, before dropping it to the ground and quickly scurrying over towards you.
The scolding you got was harsh, but Neytiri couldn't do much other than wrap her arms around you and sigh. You were just a kid, after all. Mistakes like these are inevitable and all she could do was understand.
Neteyam was patiently waiting just outside the doorway, swinging his legs back and forth as he listened with a heavy heart. He awfully felt guilty. You sat with him moments later.
“Why did you do that?” He quietly asked.
You looked at him with a confused face, “Do what?”
"Lie." He says, his accent making the word feel awkward in his mouth. It was unfamiliar to him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You only say, casually shrugging as you swung your legs along his. Little Neteyam looked at you with the most confused face; eyebrows furrowing and the creases in between deepening as he tried to make sense of everything that had happened.
But then you glanced at him again– winked and gave a small giggle.
And only there did he understand. He leaned his head on your shoulder.
“Thank you, y/n.” )
Neteyam didn’t even realize he had finally reached home. He stared at the flap of the hut, unable to let himself in, despite living here ever since. He wasn’t exactly thrilled about having a moment alone with you– not when the thoughts that ran through his head had been unpretty.
He knows damn well Eywa could strike him down if she heard herself.
He sighed, “Y/n? Sa’nok asks for you.” He softly said, waiting for a reply. You had never been a deep sleeper; any little noise would bring you right back to consciousness. Every creak from the floor, every whisper and murmur from outside, even the lightest rustling of leaves would startle you wide awake in an instant. Neteyam knew of that, knew of the many sleepless nights you had. You had the habit of scratching the walls of the hut, carving who-knows-what on its surface. It kept him from being able to get any rest himself.
When only silence greeted him, he finally urged himself to go inside only to be met with an empty space.
Your absence now felt different to the other times when you had gone for a stroll through the forest or set out to train before dawn. It was not like that this time, and Neteyam felt it deeply. He frantically rummaged through the hut, searching every nook and cranny for anything that you possessed. Nothing. Neteyam stood at the center of the room, taking in the now cluttered room.
His fingers nervously reached up to the intercom on his ears. A voice crackled over the device, "Sir, is y/n with you? Over." He took a deep breath as he glanced around once more.
Almost quickly, Jake answered. “No, she should be back at the hut.”
Neteyam gulped, “She isn’t– nor any of her things are. What do I do?”
“You– you! You let this happen, Jake!”
After spending hours on scouring the forest for any trace of you, they had finally concluded that you had chosen to leave of your own accord. This was not something that anyone wanted to believe and yet it seemed like the only option left; none of your things were to be seen back at home, or at least those that were valuable to you— your worn-out saddlebag, the wooden bowl that you had carved yourself, weapons. All of it. Soon, eclipse neared and everyone was tired.
Neytiri was quick on her feet. As soon as Jake had returned from the south, she lunged at him – pushing him forcefully with a look he didn’t want to come home to. He attempted to grasp onto both her forearms, wanting desperately to soothe– but, try as he might, she continually knocked away his hands with increasingly greater force. It was like his very touch had burnt her skin; the same hands that held her children.
“What did you do? What did you say?” Her panicked voice quivered as she asked in desperation. She felt her breath quicken, body absolutely worn out from everything that had happened. Neytiri’s tear-stained face was like a punch to his already battered heart. He had caused this. Jake had finally pushed you away.
“One thing I asked of you– and this one thing you couldn’t do!” Each word that left her mouth was accompanied by a strike to his chest, not enough to cause any physical pain but enough to emphasize the anger he knew he had been keeping to herself for years. Neytiri was patient with him– understanding. Jake had pushed the limits of what she was capable of doing for him and this was the very consequence.
Shame. Nothing but shame.
People were watching– warriors that had accompanied him on the search and lingering eyes of the clan, but he couldn’t care less. Jake allowed her to hit him, he let her push him around; it was better for him if she inflicted the pain instead of harboring it. He’d let the people talk for all he cared. He failed as an olo’eyktan and as a father.
Let everyone know he failed his eldest.
“I did talk to her, please listen to me.” He begged, his pleadings faint. He desperately tried to reach out and grasp Neytiri's arm, yet his hands seemed unable to find the strength to hold her. His voice quivered as he spoke, fragile and hesitant in its delivery.
“Tell me how exactly!”
And he couldn’t answer that. Not when he made the crucial mistake of not checking the hut beforehand. Maybe if he did, he would’ve known you had run away– maybe he could’ve gotten to you. The fact that you weren’t able to hear his vulnerability was a different heartbreak he refused to acknowledge. You were never there to begin with.
When Neytiri saw that Jake had nothing to say in response, she was rendered speechless. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth as she tried to muffle the cry that threatened to escape her throat. She frantically paced around, harshly tugging on her braids. Jake could only close his eyes, shoulders slumping in defeat. He stood there, stunned in silence.
“My daughter, Jake! My daughter is out there with those– those demons scattered! She could be lost– dead! Do you not understand?”
Dead. You could be dead. Jake refused to close his eyes, hoping he could keep the thought at bay. But it came back again and again, wriggling its way into his mind like a snake. He let his heavy eyelids shut and instantly, he was presented with a vision of you in the dark - his sweet babygirl, lying there lifeless. It would be his fault. The blood would be on his hands.
"Ma, please," Neteyam had spoken, his voice gentle in a bid to soothe his mother. He tried desperately to soften the blows, carefully pulling her away from Jake. It was Neteyam that calmed Neytiri and all he could do was stand and let it happen– what the hell was he doing? How could he fail so miserably? His eldest had to step in and do his job, his pride and joy.
His gaze drifted across to where his other children were, huddled together on the corner. They looked bewildered at what they were hearing, unsure of what to make of it all. It seized him, squeezing what’s left of its already limp heart. Tuk was nestled in Kiri’s protective embrace, asking her– trying to understand. She asks of you, where have you gone?
A father protects, that’s what gives him meaning and Jake Sully has done the opposite– ushering you to danger.
“Have we failed them, Jake? Have I been a horrible mother?” Neytiri asked, her voice now barely above a whisper. She tried to be gentle with pushing Neteyam away, attempting to continue nonetheless. Jake placed a firm hand on his son's tense shoulders, and he gave him a subtle tilt of the head. He could see the battle that was raging inside of his young boy's head, between wanting to do what he felt was right and obeying his father's instructions. “Jake what have we done?”
Your mother needs this, his eyes try to tell him, go. Neteyam reluctantly steps back, deciding it was better to return to the others.
“Look for her again. Send out everyone this instant!” She sobs, pounding her fists against Jake’s chest in a desperate attempt to get her point across. Her neck is strained with veins popping out and bulging eyes filled with desperation, pleading him to understand. Each beat of her fists matched the intensity of her wails, no amount of tears ever seeming to be enough.
Neytiri takes a heavy inhale once more, “I beg of you, Jake Sully. Find our daughter, bring her back home.”
His gaze finally met hers and the feeling it brought was more than he could bear. He had to make a decision, another choice that would have to let her down again. “We can’t go looking for her now, Neytiri. We are already short on warriors, you know this.” He gently says, as if it was enough to soften the blow– but his eyes saw how her face slowly fell. He could clearly hear the telltale sound of her broken heart, shattering once more.
“I have to ensure everyone’s safety. Warriors are out scouring perimeters and we can’t risk one hold-up. Our family, Neytiri, I cannot risk our family,”
“She is our daughter!”
“And I am still olo’eyktan.” He was heartless. He was sure everyone thought so, but he had to be the one to make decisions. His composure was a mask that hid the fact that inside he was breaking apart; that he was failing– that he already had failed. If he let himself break down now, he might as well gamble everyone he loved.
Jake’s responsibilities weighed down heavily on his shoulders. Everyone was at stake– Quaritch was on the loose.
Neytiri told him he had a strong heart the moment they had met, but right now, it was stone-cold– shut off and mean. Not the compassionate man she had once saved. “I’m trying, Neytiri. I’ll get her home.” He tries to assure her, but the breathy shudder that left her lips only made him wince.
He was finally able to wrap his arms around her mate and when he did, it was tight– as if he was trying desperately to piece her back together. He closed his eyes once more, kissing the top of her head. “I promise. She’ll be back, I promise.”
You were out there. Alive. He had a chance.
Your mama’s crying for you, sweet child, come home.
“Mawey, Mawey!”
You found yourself in an unknown area. How you had gotten there, you could not explain. Your ikran, exhausted from the raging storm, needed some respite and so did you for that matter. After all, it would be cruel to deny her this much needed break even if it were just for a night. You only prayed that it’d be peaceful.
You searched the space for materials needed for fire, but the rain was ruthless and provided no light. You felt a chill as you curled up beneath the shade of the tree. Hugging your knees to your chest you tried to conserve warmth, shivering slightly as a gust of wind blew past. Nothing around you but darkness - no stars, no moonlight, and not even the bioluminescence around provided much warmth. This was it, you thought.
Should I go home instead? Have they even noticed that I’ve gone?
Why couldn't you just stay? Why couldn't you have simply kept it all down inside rather than running away? You had been content enough to stay silent before, content enough to ignore everything; what had been different now? It was home still— who were you kidding?
Thoughts ran unmercifully inside your head as you sat motionless.
You are never satisfied.
I miss my mom.
They deserve the heartache.
You should’ve listened instead– now look at where you are.
Why couldn’t they love me?
Maybe I should head back.
Father will be mad.
You wanted this– needed this. You had to prove yourself. There was no use crying over something small, a night had only passed.
The snapping of leaves and rustling of bushes pulled you abruptly back to reality, your head quickly turning in its direction. You had been lost in thought before the sound startled you; the somber pool of thoughts still eddying in your mind. But there was something else nestled in that pool now, taking up the space– fear. Genuine and terrible, terrible fear. You might never come home ever again. You will never see them again.
This was it, you thought, something that had been swirling around in the back of your mind since you’ve left now finally felt certain. You gripped your spear tightly in both hands.
The cry that ripped through the air was deafening, shaking every part of your being. It felt like each syllable ricocheted around your entire body; coursing through your veins and settling in the cavity of your chest. Even the ground seemed to tremble in response, shaking beneath your feet as you tried to keep composure. There was no mistaking it; it was an 'angtsìk— a particularly angry one, at that.
The loreyu that once surrounded you shriveled in response; coiling up and retracting to the ground, and then was gone completely, leaving you exposed to the hammerhead.
You were in a desperate situation. It didn't help either that you were unable to make out your surroundings– you were one on one with an 'angtsìk with nothing but a spear and a lousy handgun (that you don’t even know why you brought in the first place. It was small on the palm of your hand, but it was valuable to Jake– this couldn’t damage any animal even if you tried.)
Lifting your bow and arrow and preparing to shoot would be pointless. The threat could be just a moment away; it could pounce on you in the blink of an eye, leaving you as food for its prey before you even have time to process the danger.
You stood your ground, constantly shifting on your feet as you carefully backed away. You kept your gaze steadily ahead, refusing to break eye contact with the 'angtsìk– but when it roared again in response to your steps, you couldn't help but express your annoyance with a loud kiss of your teeth and an exasperated groan.
You did something that no one in a million years would ever consider or do– you ran straight towards it.
You stepped forward with your spear raised, shaking it threateningly in front of the strange creature that had been creeping closer. Your movements were frenzied, a frenetic attempt to scare it off and make it retreat back to where it had come from. You could feel your heart pounding against your rib cage as you readied yourself for whatever would come next. All around you, an eerie silence had descended upon the dank forest that seemed to be holding its breath in anticipation– watching both of you.
As it was poised to launch a counterattack, the creature suddenly halted; its gaze directed toward something past you with an expression of sheer terror, but your mind was too clouded for you to take any hint of the bigger threat skulking just behind you. You could feel the nervousness bubbling up from your chest, but before you knew it, a confident chuckle had escaped your lips that soon turned into fits of laughter, not believing how that foolish move of yours had made the 'angtsìk retreat.
“Yeah? Yeah! That’s right– you better run!” You yelled, brandishing the spear in your hands and waving it around in triumph. “Get your punk-ass back to mommy, penis-face!”
As the 'angtsìk disappeared into the distance, you allowed a sigh of relief to escape your lips. "You're not getting any of this, keep running!" You called out after it mockingly, putting your hands on your hips. In spite of this bravado, your heart was pounding and your knees were weak with fear– you were this close to give Eywa an early visit.
You slowly turned back, that’s when you finally saw it; the force with which the thicket of bushes violently parted around it, the palulukan emerging from behind. It was like all the air had been sucked from your lungs, and a chill ran through your body as a wave of fear engulfed you. Every part of you tensed up, and you could feel your soul being wrenched from within.
You looked at it like a poor deer in headlights, grip momentarily loosening around your spear.
If death knocked tonight, let it be instant.
NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT ?? ???? finally, after a month! (i am gonna be honest, i am this close to loosing interest in avatar.. jesus. i am holding onto crumbs people) this is so long overdue, but i hope it's good enough!
put so many references here, hope ppl can tell! teehee
not thoroughly edited so please feel free to point of any mistakes! thank you so much for being patient with me, until the next chapter loves! smooch <;3
(i removed tags that didn't work anymore :/ again, i am not taking anymore tags! please leave your notif on instead) tags: @reyalvr @sparklyphantom @iwanttohitmyself @planetslove @teyamsjustsleeping @grandgreengrapes @erensbbg @queen-dk @loaklvr @theyoungeagle @ducks118 @teyyyteyyy @yeosxxx @simply-lovely78 @ellabellabus07 @thehoneymushroomhealer @saturdayrj @kingjulian0o9 @hippiezworldz @joemamalackin @random-3455 @zoetrope1997 @cl0esblogg @anxietydrogz @lokisfirstandlastwife @lunyyx @blkmystery @marsbars09 @gcldtom @luna-salem @wolflover384 @mushy-mushroom04 @whatthemonsterfuckisthis @eternalidentity @celi-xxmoon @dumb-fawkin-bitch @pinkeroppi @mellowdiy @jimfiqs @ell0ra-br3kk3r @ayra2452008 @vodoo-heart @rose-brulante @starxao @bluevenus19 @entertain-my-lvst @wwwellacom @starjane312 @mona-aiko @audigay