Fiction - Blog Posts

Y'all, It's finally time! I'm on page 159, with 20+ chapters, and I'm here to tell you... The first chapter is edited and ready to be read! Please do bear with me, as this was written probably 2 or 3 years ago, but I hope you enjoy! Now, with no further ado, read on below!

@queen-of-hobgobblers @deadandgaysetanta @redkarmakai

Chapter 1

Florentine

"So, the wounded hero finally dares to stand, eh? I'm almost impressed" the sneer in his words is unmistakable, though my vision seems impaired. My muscles quiver as I rise to face him. Muddy droplets drip from some long-forgotten wound. A sharp, excruciating pain flashes through my leg, centering around my kneecap. I brush it off, because I have to. I have a duty, and what am I if not successful? Who am I if I can’t even protect these people who venerate me? I stand and turn to face my attacker, steel in my heart and fire in my eyes. Their smirk ignites a simmering mix of hatred and envy. Why should they be the one to walk away with their life intact? Why don’t they have to sit and suffer in silence as their other half climbs a ladder so tall that the gods in the sky must crane their heads merely to catch a passing glimpse? Rage pulses behind my eyes, begging for cruel release.

Everything's red. His hand. The ground. The blood red dagger, forsaken long before. The sky. I can't think, can’t hear, can’t see. All that runs in my head is what went wrong. It was fine, we were fine. Everything was good. We were peaceful. Until that day. That horrid day that ripped us apart and set us on our separate, yet morbidly entwined, paths. A voice drones in the background, that one that haunts my dreams and comforts my nightmares. The ground shakes, morphing the landscape. The sky turns black and the trees fluctuate with a wonderlandian determination. The ground twists and tumbles in my eyes, falling away as I attempt to push myself up. My hands scrabble against the softening dirt and I let a grunt escape my lips. His thunderous eyes pierce my heart when his head whips toward me. His mouth moves, but the words don’t register in my ringing ears at first.

I launch myself toward his misty figure. He's waiting, baiting me. I know this. But some things are more important than playing a game. My fist flies past its mark on my first try. A haunting chuckle infuriates me further. I press him, swinging my fists with less accuracy, but I fight harder and harder, I strike and coax more and more and more until he's backed against a wide-trunked oak, trapped between wood and flesh. Blood, beautiful, glorious, shimmering blood, floods down his face as I stand triumphant over theim. Their previous courage dissipates faster than the winds he tries to command. Finally, I hold all the cards. I can be the one to finish a fight, the one to leave them broken, cowering on the ground, weak and worthless in the eyes of the once adoring, now cautious public.

My eyes shut, as a way to preserve this perfect, wonderful scene in my memory. I open them, punching in front where he should be, but the scenery has changed. No longer am I in a mournful wood, surrounded by splintered trees and freshly slaughtered rodents, but rather a village. Run-down huts flood my peripheral, and a young boy looks up at me. He grins, and I stumble back at the mania in his eyes and the blood on his teeth. His golden hair is matted, but his shoes shine with care and polish and his hands have never known a day of work.

"Hey, mister! That was one nice punch you got there! Look, it even made me bleed!" The bloodlust in his eyes is unmistakable, and I collapse to my knees while my younger self drones on about my attack. It was all a dream. Just a dream. Always so close, and yet they’re always one step further. The town is still decrepit, the villain is still on the loose, and I'm still the one to blame for it all. The one who let him go, let him break me a thousandfold just for a sense of my past life. How?! How could I have been so blind?! So…

The sound of my voice breaks the trance of misery and I allow tears to flood my face, my all-too-real facial incisions burning. The sobs that wrench from my body surprise even myself with the desperate plea behind it. My screams are swirling and writhing with the pain that only a truly tortured soul can contain. Horrid, deep sobs wrack my body while thorny vines, red as blood, climb up my shuddering form. The pain cuts me to the bone, but I don’t care. It grounds me. No, what I beg for is a floundering force of strength who long since abandoned me. I scream, louder than I ever have, louder than I thought I could. Even when the tears stop flowing, dry, throaty sobs and screams rack my soul and the vines tighten, clasping at my throat. Air. I need air. There's no air. A name, unintelligible, shrieks out of my mouth. I cry for him, want him, need him. I need their kind eyes, the prim distaste they hold for everyone but me. I need his voice, his heart, his love and lust. My lone earring, a silver, triadic swirl, dangles. It shines as if a beacon might, glowing with false promises. The vines know what I want, what I need. They guide my hand, tearing the piece of jewelry down, flinging it, getting lost in the heartbreak of first love, first trust, and first pain. The screams have become comforting. I know them. I know pain, and I welcome it. Grey shadows creep into my sight, and I gladly welcome them, too. They encompass my vision, and I lean into the cold, slate shadows, reminiscent of stones chilled by a frosty winter air.

"USELESS!"

I've reached page 143, so the time to vote is nigh: once I reach 150, do you guys want

im about to do some angst work with ny favorite otp and i really hope i dont end up fucking crying omg

Alright, here ya go. I hope in these trying times a more heartwarming trans story can help people feel a bit better.

Word count: 4,942

Cowboys 

I woke up early on Sunday with the neighbor’s rooster and rushed down the stairs in my pajamas to make it to breakfast. Mama made good bacon, and it was worth scarfing down my share, even if she fussed at me that young ladies don’t eat that way. I never cared much when she tried to tell me about being a lady. I let her tie my hair back into two braids for school, and listened as she called me a pretty girl, but I couldn't stand much past that. I picked at my eggs, sticking my tongue out at the runny yolk spilling over my plate. Dex sat on the floor beside me, pawing at my chair until Mama stopped looking and I lowered my dish below the table to let him gobble them up. 

Papa glared at me from over his paper, his old wrinkly forehead getting all scrunched up as I tried to read the Sunday funnies and ignored him. He didn’t tell on me, he never did, only huffed before looking back down and turning the page. 

Mama took my plate and was starting to do the dishes by the time Pau came slinking down the stairs, a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth. He scratched at his scruffy beard, and Papa gave him a mean look as he poured himself a mug of coffee. I always wondered what Papa would look like with a beard, but he laughed at me when I asked him to grow one. Mama dusted off her still-clean apron while muttering to herself about the smell of smoke spreading through the house. I grinned wide at my uncle, sitting on my knees in my chair with my hands pressed to the table to lean towards him. 

“Pau, you goin' to work today? Can I come? I can help.” 

Mama pushed on my shoulder to get me to sit back in my chair, and Dex yelped as my foot landed on his tail. I winced as he ran to Pau’s side who gave him a pat on his head, the mutt sneezing at me. Pau let out a long hum, taking a drag from his cigarette before checking the clock on the wall. Papa shook his head still looking at his paper.  

“Harley, shouldn’t you be studying?” He flipped another page, stabbing at his eggs with his fork. I wrinkled my nose at the thought of wasting the day staring at one of Papa’s history books. They were always about war and never had any of the good shootouts or bank robberies like the Westerns on television did. Papa never liked them, so Pau always watched them with me, and sometimes, when he’d blow his smoke out into the living room, he looked just like Clint Eastwood. 

Pau shrugged at me, already pulling on his boots, “We ain’t gonna take all day. It’s summer, Charlie. She’ll still have months to read all of them books.” He pointed up the stairs while reaching for his hat, “Kit, you got five minutes to get dressed, then I’m gone. Hop to it.” 

I jumped up from my chair and ran to my room as fast as I could, ducking out of the way of the hobby horse peeking through my closet. Its little brown head swiveled back and forth as I rushed to pull on my jeans and boots and grabbed my hat as I left. Mama called after me to stop running but I was already hopping into the passenger seat of Pau’s truck before I even realized she’d been speaking. 

The drive to Main Street always felt slow. I counted red cars to keep myself busy until Pau told me to think of the numbers instead of saying them.  

“Dumb kid. If you keep counting like that, you’ll start to forget your letters.” He shook his head, fussing with the radio as he waited for his light to turn green. 

I gave him a wide grin and laughed, air whistling through the gap in my front teeth. “That ain’t how it works, Pau.” 

Pau squinted at the road like he was thinking hard before he sucked on his cigarette again, letting smoke spill out his open window. “Whatever you say, Kit, you’re the brains, not me.” 

I stared at him a little longer before my mouth twitched, and I started to twiddle my thumbs. “Yeah, it doesn’t feel much like it though.” 

Pau raised one bushy brow, glancing at me before turning into the next street over. “Whatcha mean?”  

I let out a short sigh, picking at the edge of my seat, “It’s nothin’, just sometimes I don’t like bein’ smart.” The vinyl gave way under my nails, and I sat on my hands to stop them from fidgeting, “It makes people think I can handle a lot more than I can.” 

Pau took another drag before parking the car in front of Grant’s Supplies. He turned down the volume of the bluegrass song that was playing before laying his hand on my shoulder and looking at me. 

“Kit, I’ll give you a tip. People are tough on you because life is tougher. Folks just want to make sure you do good out in the real world. That's why even when things seem too hard, the best thing for you to do is to work harder and stay in school.”  

I didn’t meet his eye, instead focusing on the faded kneepads of his blue jeans. “You never went to school.” 

He gave a long sigh after that, opening the door and dropping his cigarette to stamp it out with his foot. “Point proven. Come on, we don’t have all day.” 

The door to Grant’s Supplies had a bell over it that dinged when you walked inside. Everything was made of wood, and every Sunday an elderly man who only spoke in low angry grunts and had his eyes covered by the constant furrow of his brow would come in the store to clean. I ducked past where he was sweeping behind the canned food and peeped at him through a gap in one of the aisles, holding up my fake finger pistol, and aimed for the bridge of his nose. I could practically smell the sheriff's reward of five hundred dollars for bringing this outlaw in, dead or alive. 

“Time to meet your maker,” I whispered, closing one eye and squinting, just about to fire. He must have heard me though. In the next moment, his head snapped to look at me and his eyes grew as wide as an owl’s. With a shout, I ran retreating to the counter at the front of the store where Pau stood with his hat to his chest, leaning into the blushing face of a lady with long sandy blonde hair. I rammed into his leg, sending him sideways a bit with an ‘oomph!’ but he stood to recover just as quickly as he had stumbled. The counter lady helped him up, laughing, and I stared perplexed by her perfectly manicured nails. 

“Oh goodness, are you alright?” She said, leaning across the counter and then looking at me, “Well hello there little lady.”  

I tilted my head away from her hands to squint up at her, still clinging to Pau’s leg. “I’m a cowboy.” 

Pau gained his footing again, looking a bit lost for words, and stuttered his way through an apology before turning to fuss at me. Before he could get anything out though she waved him off. 

“Oh, don’t apologize, I know how it is. My niece is just the same.” She talked with her hands and Pau began to smile before she carried on, “It’s just so nice to see a father hanging out with his kid.” The smile slowly dropped from Pau’s face, a distant look on his face as he turned to look down at me staring back up at him with big round eyes. 

“She ain’t my-” he was cut off by Mrs. Grant coming around the corner, her heels clicking on the floor as she huffed. 

“Well, would you look what the cat dragged in. Paul, I know you’re not flirting with another one of my cashiers.” 

I peeped up from behind Pau’s leg and Mrs. Grant’s narrowed brown eyes softened at the sight of me. “Hey, Harley honey, you helpin’ Paul today?” She slid a caramel candy over the counter, and I was quick to shove it into my mouth. 

“Yes ma’am,” I said. Pau heaved a sigh, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. 

She nodded to herself before turning to the counter lady. “That’s Charlie’s girl. Do you know Charlie?”  

The counter lady’s eyes went wide as she blushed an even deeper red, “Oh, I’m so sorry, I thought she was yours.”  

Mrs. Grant tapped the counter and shook her head, looking at Pau with a heaving sigh and narrowed eyes. “Yeah, you’d think that huh? You two always seem attached at the hip.” 

I lit up at the sound of that. People always thought I was Pau’s little girl. He said it was because I followed him like a lost kitten, so he called me Kit. I never saw it as a bad thing though. Pau was a good person to follow. He knew plenty about the right way to walk and how to talk himself out of trouble. I learned plenty trailing after him, even if Papa didn’t like it too much. After Pau came to live with us, Papa always mumbled about how he hadn’t been able to keep himself out of trouble since they were tots. 

“Yeah, well she’s just good help, that's all. Speaking of, I’m looking for paint. Ms. Carter needs a new coat on her fence.” Pau shrugged, and I watched as one of his hands dropped to his back pants pocket, grabbing at his cigarettes before letting it fall again. 

Mrs. Grant stopped her tapping and stared him down for a moment. It was a mean look that Pau turned away from, and I tilted my head in wonder of why. It didn’t last long as in the next moment she was turning to grab the paint buckets behind her. “White or blue?” 

Pau paid for two buckets of white paint, and then we were back in his truck. I counted blue cars this time, including his since there were fewer of them, and Pau said nothing. When I turned to look at him, he was biting his lip and had both his hands kept firm on the steering wheel. 

“I think that lady liked you, Pau,” I said, and Pau scrunched his face up tight giving a small smile. 

“Yeah, maybe so.”  

I kicked my feet, looking at my boots and the little pink lines painted into the brown leather. “Maybe you could marry her since you don’t have a wife yet.” I heard Pau scoff, “and maybe then I could come live with you two when you buy a house together.”  

Pau lit another cigarette, “Marriage ain’t that simple Kit, and I can’t buy a house.” 

I felt that he was just being difficult, but didn’t go on, instead I watched the cop car that came crawling up beside us at a stoplight. It sat lower than Pau’s truck, and the officer driving it turned to glare at us through the window. His nose looked crooked. I turned to Pau, my grin sharp but hesitated to say anything as Pau kept his gaze straight. He pressed himself against his seat, and the muscles on his hairy arms tensed where he was squeezing the steering wheel. His knuckles turned white from how hard he gripped it. I tilted my head a bit, trying to make sense of the funny way Pau’s eye twitched. 

“Does he know you Pau?” I said, trying my best not to whip around and glare right back at the cop. Pau’s cheeks turned a little red, and he moved his head just enough that I couldn’t see his eyes. 

“Don’t stare Kit. A cowboy has to mind the sheriff.” 

I said nothing, leaning back into my seat just like him until the light turned green and the cop passed by us. As we drove, Ms. Carter’s house and her faded fence appeared around the bend. She was sitting on her porch with a pitcher of lemonade when we hopped out of Pau’s truck. Pau waltzed up to her front steps and I followed behind him, trying to fit into the boot prints he left in the dirt path.  

Ms. Carter filled two glasses and nearly let mine overflow as she giggled over every word that tumbled out of Pau’s mouth, slapping at his arm. I rolled my eyes as she made some comment on liking men rugged, carrying the paint buckets and brushes toward the fence at the end of her front yard. Pau joined me after I’d already painted four posts and I looked at him with a bit of judgment, “She likes you too.” 

He shook his head, “She likes anyone who will talk to her.” He dipped his paintbrush into the bucket twice before swiping it over the fence. Before I could say anything, he was covering my mouth with his free hand, “I ain’t gonna marry her, so don’t bring it up.”  

I almost spit on his hand when he pulled it away, “I wasn’t going to say you should.” I swiped at another post, giving it a funny face before covering it up, “I just think maybe if you had a wife, she could tell Mrs. Grant to stop looking at you so mean.”  

He breathed out smoke and leaned back to look up at the sky like Mama did when she was praying, “There ain’t a woman in the whole damn world who would make Mrs. Grant stop looking at me like that.” 

I painted a stripe across three posts, my lips pursed into a thin line. “Why not Pau?” 

“Because it ain’t about the women. It's just me she doesn’t like,” he said. 

I threw down my brush, kicking at the fence post, “Well that ain’t fair.” He shook his head at me, and I almost kicked him too before I thought better of it. 

“No, Kit, it is.” He paid me no mind, dipping his brush again, “We can’t control how people think of us. We just gotta learn to accept it.” 

“Well, I think that's dumb.” I stuck out my tongue and picked at the grass below me, throwing it up into the air. Pau never did anything to wrong people. He would go out of his way to mow their yards or paint their fences. Mrs. Grant just didn’t know him that well, if she did, she’d see why he deserved her caramel candies too. “You’re good Pau, a real cowboy.” 

He laughed a little, though it sounded strained, and tipped his hat down to cover his eyes. “You’re a dumb kid,” he said, putting down his brush and wiping some sweat off the back of his neck, “But thanks.” 

We finished the fence by the time the sun was beginning to set, and Ms. Carter giggled and swatted playfully at Pau’s arms for an eternity before she paid him. When we made it back to the truck, Pau rubbed at his shoulder where she had managed to smack him with one of her bangle bracelets. 

“You should check for bruises” 

He gave me a look but still rolled up his sleeve, “Hush up.” 

When we made it back home, the earth had turned golden, and I ran through the grass of the front yard before Dex tackled me to the ground, sniffing all along my arms and shirt as I erupted into a fit of laughter. Pau came to lay beside us, his hat placed on his chest. I stared up at the clouds, taking in their sweeping hills that laid out like mountains across our flat horizon like in the movies. 

I let out a whistle, something I had been practicing for weeks now, and Pau gave me a hum of agreement, though he didn’t smile like usual.  

“One day I’m going to head out there, and I’m going to have a ranch, and you can come live on it with me,” I said, and Pau sighed, sitting up and leaning back on his hands. 

“I have to tell you something, Kit.” He said. 

I sat up beside him, combing away at some of the grass that had managed to get stuck in my hair.  

“What's wrong Pau?” 

He had this strange look on his face again, like he was far from me, and unable to draw himself back in. I watched him squint at the sun before he looked at me, the crow's feet by his eyes still showing like he was looking at something bright. 

“I have to,” he paused, his mouth still hanging open for a moment as he took in the tilt of my head, “I’m heading west. I’m gonna go find one of those big cattle ranches you’re always talkin’ about.”  

My eyes got big, and I jumped up to my knees to shake him by the shoulders, “Pau! You have to take me with you.” I said, begging with my fingers laced together. 

He shook his head softly, putting one of his rough hands on top of mine, “No Kit. You can’t come.” 

I felt a deep pain in my chest, stinging enough that I ripped my hands away to wrap around my middle. 

“Why not?” I said, soft and cracking as he gazed down at me. He rubbed at the back of his neck; his eyebrows knitted together. 

“It’s complicated. You have to stay here, with your ma and pa.” He tried to meet my eyes again, but I was too busy picking grass out of the ground, ruthless in my attack. 

“Kit, you won’t have a life if you come with me. You stay here, you’ll get to go to school, get a nice comfy job, and grow up to be someone you should be.” He sounded like Papa, and I never hated Pau more. I tried to plug my ears so he would go away, but he grabbed at my arms. 

“No, you can’t go. It isn’t fair!” I shook my head back and forth, kicking my feet as he just rubbed up and down my arms to calm me down. I wouldn’t. I refused to stop my fit even though I knew it wasn’t helping. The second he let go of me, I knew in my bones he would disappear, so I just kept yelling until his patience ran thin. “I can help. I can be a cowboy. You can teach me.” 

“Kit stop. No one needs me here; your daddy asked me to leave so I’m going.” He grabbed me tight and shook me. I went still in his arms, “I’m going kid, it’s already been decided.”  

“I need you,” I said, my voice soft and my throat tight. The sun felt like it was burning into me, and I wanted to let it, so I could have an excuse as to why I wanted to shrivel up into Pau’s lap and have him hold me. He softened his grip, sighing, and looking down to where Dex lay next to us whining.  

“No, you don’t.” He shook his head. 

“But if you leave I can’t-” 

“I ain’t your daddy, Kit.” He said with finality, and my heart felt cold and alone, “You have one. He's a good man. Don't you ever say he ain’t because I was raised with him, and I’ll know you’re lying. He’s already gotten me out of enough messes to make up a lifetime.”  

I shook my head again, looking down, “He isn’t you Pau.” 

Pau let go of me, grabbing his cigarettes from his back pocket and shoving them in my face.  

“You see these?” He shoved them closer, and I bit at the inside of my cheek to stop myself from snapping back at him 

“You think these are good? Do you think any of the things I do are things I wanna see you do?”  

It was a pretty box, the red always peeking out the top of Pau’s jeans. He took out one of the cigarettes, almost crushing it in his hand. 

“This, this is shit.” He threw it down and stood up to crush it under his boot. He looked giant, and unforgiving, like Papa when he had found out I had broken one of his old globes playing sheriff.  

My nose started to feel runny, and the tight funny feeling in my throat bubbled up until I could feel myself choking on it. The sight of him made my stomach feel hollow, and I ran away before he could say anything else.  

He called after me, but I didn’t listen, crashing through the screen door right into Papa’s arms. He stood shocked as I cried into his crisp white shirt, hitting his sides. The fabric scratched at my face, and my tears left it stained and ugly, but he didn’t push me away, so I stayed. 

“Harley, what has gotten into you?” He said it lightly, one of his hands placed softly on my back. It felt awkward, and he didn’t hold me closer than he had to. He looked around the room, and I knew it was for Mama. I butted my head against his stomach, and he furrowed his brow as he looked down at me. I glared right back, and he sighed, a tired look pulling at his face that made me want to scream. 

“Why don’t you go clean yourself up, your mother is making chicken tonight, maybe you could help her?” I detached myself from him before I could start yelling, running up the stairs to hide in my room.  

I sat huddled up in bed, the quilt Mama had made me drawn around my shoulders until the sun had fully set, and I could see the moon peeking up behind the trees through my window. I opened it to hear the crickets sing and leaned out to feel the warm summer air pass over me. Mama had called me to dinner almost an hour before, but I couldn’t bring myself to travel back downstairs. Pau would be there, picking his teeth clean of chicken and grunting his way through Papa’s questions. They would fight, and I knew this because they always fought, and I would be stuck in the middle of it, trying to defend Pau from any of the nasty names Papa called him. For the first time, I didn’t want to defend him. 

As I began to count the stars starting to dot the sky, I heard the muffled shouts echoing from downstairs. There was a clattering of plates, and as I sunk to the floor to press my ear up against my rug, I could hear Papa from below. 

“-No work for you here! I’ve tried Paul, I’ve always tried to help you, but you haven’t made it easy. Now you’re filling Harley’s head with these delusions-”  

I listened to Pau grumble something, the first part hard to make out until he started to get louder. 

“-Not a damn charity case Charlie, I don’t need it, and don’t you bring the kid into this. This ain’t her mess.”  

Their voices both came and went, in and out, growing louder and softer until there was a large clattering of plates, loud enough I could hear a glass break and mama let out a shout. It was quiet for a moment after, the entire house falling still. I listened as a chair shoved back and his footsteps stomped as Pau grumbled out a response. The screen door slammed open and shut, and as the smell of smoke began to travel up through the window, I shut it as quickly as I could. It felt too late though, my eyes were already watering, and as much as I tried to blink them away, stubborn little tears managed to escape me. I called them shit.  

I must have stood there for ages, staring out my window and crying, because by the time I came back to myself the moon had risen above the trees. There was a knock at my door, and instead of spitting and cussing every nasty word I knew, I moved to slide down against it and knock back, too tired to do much else. 

“Hey, Kit.”  

“Hi, Pau.” I wanted to call him shit. I crossed my arms across my chest and felt as he slumped against the door on the other side to sit beside me. 

“Did Papa tell you that you have to leave tonight?” I looked down at the streaks of light from the hallway that wrapped around his shadow and stretched across my floor. 

“He warned me about a month ago. He just tried to give me money,” he said. 

“Oh. Did you take it?” 

“No.” 

“Oh.” I wanted to curse him, tell him he was dumb, and have him get angry with me so I could have an excuse to do so. I couldn’t bring myself to. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving sooner,” he paused for a moment, I heard his head rest against the door with a small thud, “I didn’t know how to tell you.” 

My chest felt tight, and I pulled down my hat to cover my eyes. I didn’t say anything, not trusting my voice. The door’s white paint was chipped at the bottom, and I picked at it until Pau knocked again. 

“You still there kid?” 

I brought my knees to my chest, hugged them tightly, and closed my eyes shut. 

“I could be a good cowboy Pau,” I sounded so shaky and small, like Dex when Mama yelled at him for doing something bad, “I am one.” 

Pau didn’t say anything back for a while, but I could hear him bump his head again, and I wondered if he felt as small as I did. “I know you are, Kit. You’re better than me,” he said, speaking softly but the crackly sound in his throat still broke up his words so he sounded like one of Papa’s scratched records. I never wanted to sound like that. “You have to give these things time, though. One day when you’re older, you’ll still be walking around in your boots, and you’ll be better than all of us at whatever you decide to do with your life.” I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke, and fighting against every angry bone in my body, I opened the door. 

He had to tilt his head up a little to look me in the eyes from where he was still sat on the ground. It was like he was just seeing something for the first time. His eyes were a little watery, and they squinted up at me like I was a stranger, but there must have been something he recognized because he grinned wide, and I was pulled down into his arms. 

I let him tug me down and rested my head against his chest to hear his heartbeat. It thundered like the sound of horses.  

“You’re a good man, Pau. Mama and Papa are lying.” I said.  

He nodded his head and rocked me in his lap. It wasn’t easy as I was getting taller and my legs stuck out a bit too much to be comfortable, but his arms still cradled around me like I was precious. 

“You are too, Kit.” 

After he gathered all his things from his room and shoved them into little boxes and bags, I walked him outside. I carried his duffle bag across the yard, and he pretended not to notice as I struggled a bit to get down the front steps. By the time I made it to his car, he had already thrown everything else inside. He took the last bag and threw it in his front seat, dusting off his hands after. I copied him, pretending not to hear him snort.  

“Guess this is it, huh kid?” 

I looked up to where he stood, hands on his hips and his head facing towards the open road. 

“Yeah, for now. I’ll see you again though.” I said, shrugging and wiping my still runny nose. 

“That so?” 

“Yeah, when I get a car, I’ll drive out west until I find you.” 

He looked down at me, his eyes going all soft, “Not gonna give up on me?” 

I shook my head, grinning up at him, “Nah, you need someone looking out for you.” 

He gave a big whooping laugh, his head shooting back. I laughed with him, so hard that I had to brace my hands on my thighs to keep myself from falling forwards. Pau pulled himself together after a while, sliding into his front seat with a hopeful spark in his eye. 

“I’ll send you a postcard once I find somewhere to settle down, then maybe, when you get that car, you won’t have to just wander around for too long.” He said, fiddling with the radio until bluegrass began to belt out of his truck. 

“Okay Pau, don’t forget.” 

He tipped his hat to me as the truck started up. 

“I won’t.” 

He drove away after that, and I held my hand up to reach for his car until he disappeared down the street, the light from his headlights fading into the night sky above. 

Does anyone want to read a short story about a trans kid at the age where you don't have a word for what you are yet, or really a full idea of what you are, but you know what you want to be so you cling to it and the people around you that represent it?

Because I wrote something like that! It's called Cowboys (or Good Men, but we won't get into that whole story), and it's about a kid named Kit who wants nothing more than to be a cowboy like 'her' uncle Pau! It's a small slice of life/coming of age story that showcases the unconditional love of a family's two misfits, alongside subtly highlighting a less talked about stage of growing up transgender in the south.

If anyone is interested in reading it, please let me know, and I'll reblog it through this post 👍

MY HUSBANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LOVE HIM SM

🖊

!!!!! hi thank you this made my dayyyyy

okay okay okay okay so

ima rant about my boy Escher (from The Soulrobbers) bc I can and even though im not writing his series rn one of my rps involves him so im kinda autistic about him (note from future: there will be a lil tangent about his bestie Asa oops)

I find it very fascinating how he's evolved since I created him; he went from being an absolute clone of one of my other, very smol characters, Rhys (The Gift and the Ghostspeaker) to kinda the male gladiator version of Luna Lovegood but with a lil psycho side to....what he is rn, which is basically a sassy mischief boi with an intense fear of death and a lil bit of a sadistic side!! which is to be expected when you grow up in an arena but yk we love him for it

this last change was actually very recent and kinda strange bc he kinda stole a few characteristics (like the fear of death) from another character from his story, Asa, but kept the same general personality? (cue me having an idea about Escher being Asa's foil cough um anyway)

he also has wind powers (most of the characters in TSR do but still) and a lovely whirlwind/dust devil motif in my plans for him which mmmm i love that for him and oh the things i can do with him thematically bc of thissssssssssss

i need to draw him man

I also changed his name very recently too so if a certain someone sees this and goes 'wait isnt that just Ian' yeah that's just Ian

@yourinnerhealthplus hi have a rant about your husband <3

Chapter four of my book The One and Only Ouroboros is out!

Also I know I haven’t posted in a while but I’ve just been busy, I was out of the house interacting for most of the day these past few days so I haven’t had much time to post

However! This chapter includes both an easy riddle and a complicated math problem!

Here’s the math problem and it’s answer

But you’ll have to read the chapter to see the incredibly easy riddle

It’s on Wattpad!

Person A: *hugs Person B tightly*

Person B: I can't breathe.

Person A: Good. That's how I felt without you.

#hopelesslyinlovewithsomeoneimpossible

let's take a minute to appreciate these beautiful people who make the most beautiful and saddest playlists. my night is not finished without them. <3

I am once again calling for book rants. It was so much fun the last time, and I crave more.

Do you have a long standing grudge against a book you read in middle school? Have you gotten swept up by hype only to find that everyone lied to you and the book is trash? Do you burn with rage over the way an author portrayed your favorite mythology or folklore? Is there a book or series that you once loved, but now makes you cringe every time you think about it?

Do you want to vent all of it out to someone who won't judge you, or argue with you, but will simply accept all your feelings as their own?

Hi, that person is me. Send me an ask, anonymous or not, and tell me everything you've wanted to say. Offer me your anger, your frustration, your hatred. I will hold it for you. I will take it into my heart and make it my own.

It can be any genre you want, any demographic. I will accept it all. Even if James Patterson gets involved again. (I'm not scared of you, James!!)

Random thought:

A Victorian Era zombie outbreak. The situation is relatively quickly contained. Society largely goes back to normal.

But, because rich Victorians were obsessed with the paranormal and easily bored, it becomes fashionable to have a zombie or two chained up in your garden.

Like, Lord Rich As Fuck is coming over to discuss a marriage agreement with your kids, and you decide to impress him by showing off the zombie kids you have chained up over by the rose bushes.

Anyone else feel lost?

I don’t know what is happening in my life anymore and I want to know if there are others that feel the same. But everyday is the same and everyday I yearn more and more for some sort of shift into a fictional world or some feeling...but I’m stuck crying over my comfort characters, feeling absolutely helpless. How do I live in the moment? How do I feel something?

Fictional men > reality

Thomas Sharpe x Reader, but make it a fucking saga

Because of course I couldn't come back to writing fanfictions after 6 years without deciding to make it the first bit of a full fuckin novella.

I hope you like drama, mystery and badass women.

SYNOPSIS

A couple of months ago, your father received the visit of a certain Sir Sharpe, Baronet, followed by a deal regarding a new invention that could revolutionize mining, and actions that could be granted to your family in the Allerdale Mining company in exchange for financing the prototype. Upon reception of a letter exposing the difficulties encountered in the making of the machine, which had now stalled the process despite how close to its success Sir Sharpe was, you insisted to go and aid him, something you are actually perfectly able to do, as you're the first woman in your country to have earned a Master's degree in civil engineering. Eventually, your dad conceded, on the condition that your twin brother William, an architect in-between contracts, accompany you on the journey to Allerdale hall.

There, beliefs will be broken, secrets old and new will resurface and entombed wounds will reopen. Can everyone, or anyone really, ever come out of Crimson Peak unscathed? Or are the horrors of love always inevitable?

got asked about my tmnt height headcanons by a friend.

bro, idfk i draw their heights based on my colored pencils

and if anyones curious, heres the drawing that started this lol

cool dude

little mikey doodle from my au, he's based off a blanding turtle.

decided to rewatch rc9gn after my last little doodles (which i suggest you all should do :3)

i forgot how dense this kid was.

the skrunkly

just reminding people that he exists with these 2 minute doodles :)

Blep

tiny snake child :P

so uhh here's a list cuz there's a bunch for Jann cuz yeah he's Jann

Mornings with him

traveling with him

movie night

date night

night time routine (like face masks on eachother)

Jann meeting reader at a gig, they see eachother at a store and Jann recognizes R and they get eachothers phonenumber and they start hanging out and eventually dating (maybe a lil smut or a lot)

Marvel!AU OR Game of Thrones!AU or even as a Sith in Star Wars!AU

After Date Night (could be part 2 to date night and this is SMUTTY AF)

maybe another song of his like you did with Gladiator

Jann with hippie!reader cuz I never see a damn hippie reader (but not like crazy and unhygienic hippies, yk what I mean)

unable to sleep and Jann helps (fluff, and/or smut or maybe even to versions)

CUDDLES

going with him to Eurovision (imagine he actually went), maybe him winning Eurovision and at the hotel after (maybe extreme fluff or very very very smutty)

Jann's instagram when R and him are dating

R being sick and Jann takes care

Jann being sick and R takes care

R gets hurt and Jann gets a little help crazy like wont let her do a lot without him near incase something happens due to R's injury

yeah I got a lot more that I need to write down so I don't forget TY

So This Is Love | Jan Rozmanowski/Jann

Pairing: Jan Rozmanowski/Jann x reader (singer!reader)

Summary: Jann noticed you randomly during one of his gigs. Eventually, you both realize that you will be competing in Eurovision as you start to date and experience the love you have for each other.

Warning/s: long author's note (I'm sorry, but I had to say it cause it's important), possible grammar and spelling mistakes, smut, but like kind of. Explicit, but at the same time not really, idk.

Author's note: Okay, so right now my inbox is literally being stuffed with requests for Jann after I made that one fic, but I'm loving it so much. For this fic I want to say sorry because I couldn't include all of the stuff from the big request, but I included almost everything. I also got another Damiano David request so I will be getting around to that one as well after this so yeah. There will be more Jann imagines and always feel free to request and I will try to get around to everything. Anyway, enjoy!

(F/F) = favorite fruit

(Y/C) = your country

You were truly having the time of your life. You were jumping around with a few friends, dancing, laughing, just having fun on a free Friday night. It was ironic really, you wanted to stay at home and binge watch your favorite shows and sleep, but thanks to your friends you were dragged out in a club where some guy you have never heard of was performing.

You really didn't want to go, considering the fact that you didn't know the singer nor didn't you know any of his songs, but now you were so glad that your friends dragged you out of your apartment to have fun for a while. Even tho you were kind of annoyed, you were so thankful to your friends for this moment.

Now, as you looked at the singer, you noticed something. He was so gorgeous, so handsome. He was simply breathing and it made you speechless for a while. His voice what slightly rough, but he was hitting higher notes and it made you shiver, but in a pleasant way. He was so tall. His hair was a dirty shade of blonde that was perfectly falling on his shoulders. His eyes were piercing black in the dark room. Every inch of his face was proving you that he was an angel sent from heaven. It was truly hypnotizing.

Jan Rozmanowski was in his zone. He was gripping on the microphone as he sang his soul out in front of the crowd. However, somewhere among the crowd, all of a sudden, he stopped his gaze and got quite for a second or two. Thankfully, however, nobody noticed that little moment. Everyone was either too drunk to catch that or they just didn't care about that.

Jan spotted a beautiful, no, gorgeous girl dancing and laughing in the crowd. He was so mesmerized by her beauty that he wanted to stop his performance right there, right at that moment, just so he could talk to her. To get to know her. He felt his breath get caught up in his throat as he watched her sway around the room, her hair flying around her as she danced carelessly. He just couldn't wait to get off of the stage to go and to talk to her. However, once he was done with his performance and one he went to get himself a drink from the bartender, he noticed that she was gone.

But, as luck would have it, it seemed that the whole universe didn't want that to me your last meeting. You couldn't even call it a meeting, really. That was considering the fact that you didn't even get the chance to talk even a little bit. Luckily, you accidentally bumped into each other at the grocery store just two days after his performance in the bar.

You were snooping around the fruit section looking for (F/F). You probably didn't really watch where you were going when you kind of bummed against a tall guy. You felt leather material pressing against you as you did. You started spitting apologizes at the person you bummed into and he was doing the same. However, you felt as if somebody stole all of the air away from your lungs once you saw who you bumped into. It looked like Jan wasn't experiencing something much different from what you were experiencing at the moment.

"Are you stalking me, gorgeous?" He asked you in a playful manner and you couldn't believe that he actually noticed you among the busy crowd.

"I don't know." You couldn't help but blush a little as you talked to the handsome singer in front of you. "Are you stalking me? You know, bumping into each other in a grocery store... it a bit cheesy don't you think?" You joked.

"Perhaps it is." He laughed. "But you know. I am nothing if not cheesy for a pretty girl."

And so you talked. In the middle of the store, you talked for a very long while. It seemed like hours have passed unnoticeable, but you never got bored, never ran out of things to say to each other. After a while, you exchanged numbers and you said your goodbyes. Just as you got in your car, you noticed that your phone light up. Jan wrote you a message.

"Just making sure I got the right number. - Jan" The message said. You didn't even notice how quickly you grabbed a hold of your phone and started to type back a response.

"Yes, you have the right number. - Y/N" You wrote and not even a second later you got another text.

"Great, it would be a shame if I couldn't hang out with a beautiful girl I met at the gig anymore."

You continued to text each other for days until Jan invited you to go and grab a cup of coffee with him. You were so excited about the invitation, you couldn't wait to see him. And so, after you practically jumped down the stairs of your apartment, you stepped onto the cold, chilly weather as you started to walk towards a familiar caffe place. You walked in and immediately noticed him. Jan stood up as you approached him and gave you a hug that was just about as friendly and innocent as it could be.

You got talking and as you did that, you found out that he was still very new to the music industry just like you were. However, you quickly realized that he had much talent and you just knew deep in your heart and soul that he is going to accomplish great things. You also discovered that both of you were supposed to compete in a Eurovision song contest. You were both so surprised, but nevertheless so happy to find out that interesting piece of information.

Time seemed to fly by as you talked about everything and nothing. In fact, it flew by so fast that you didn't even notice how the light outside suddenly disappeared. You also noticed that it started to rain.

So after you paid for your coffees, you ran out into the rain. He was staying in a hotel not so far away from your apparent, so he strongly suggested that he should walk you home and so you had no chance but to accept his offer.

You were running around the city, laughing like a pair of teenagers. It was fine though, you felt like it anyways. You were soaking wet by the time that you got to your apartment. You didn't really know what it was.

Perhaps it was the tiredness, or the silly crush you both had on each other or perhaps it was the coldness that covered your bodies compelling you to find any sorce of heat. You truly didn't know what it was, but at that moment you got closer as you leaned against the door of your apartment. Jan and you could feel the hot breath on each other faces, looking longingly in each other's eyes before Jan finally broke the ice and pressed his lips against yours. And so you let him do just that. You were enchanted and it felt better that anything you have ever experienced.

After the start of the Eurovision song contest it felt like things were getting crazier. Once Jan and you were 100% sure that you will be representing your countries in Eurovision, you started to practice randomly at each other's apartments just for fun. Jan was competing with his song Gladiator and you were complimenting with your song El Diablo (A/N: let's be clear, I don't have any rights for this song, it's just for the sake of fic plus that is one of my favorite Eurovision songs so here you go).

After a while you both had to start with the process of packing for the contest, so it was safe to say that you didn't see each other for about a week because of the busy schedule up until you had to meet in Liverpool in United Kingdom for the competition.

It was all an emotional roller-coaster, truly. The competition was full of nervousness and joy and love and just amazing energy. You made some new friends and your relationship with Jan seemed to get stronger.

The weeks seemed to fly buy and so before you know it, the day to announce the winner has finally arrived. Poland and (Y/C) was sitting right next to each other as you anxiously waited for them to announce the winner. You were currently at 4th place and Jan was on second. Before you knew it, it was announced that Poland was the winner!

Jan and you jumped on each other and started to celebrate. You were hugging for so long that you eventually had to push him away so he could perform and get his prize. You felt utter, pure joy as you watched him sing his song Gladiator. You started to sing and dance, too. At that moment, it was like everyone was happy.

After your winner came down he quickly brought you into another hug and gave you a kiss. You could hear people around you cheer even louder, but you didn't really pay that much attention to them. You felt something else as you kissed him. It was a bit more different than your usual kiss. It was more passionate. More needy. It was full of longing. After that you had to attend a little after party and you just couldn't wait to go away for a bit. Luckily for you, all that wait was worth your while.

The moment that Jan and you walked into his hotel room, you were all over each other. Not like that wasn't a case the entire night, but still. He was kissing you so passionately, it was all oh so greedy. It was perfect.

Both of you slowly started to undress as you moved painfully slow towards the bed. Once you got there he slowly started to kiss your neck. After a while he started to slowly trail his kisses down your body.

"Are you sure?" He stopped to ask you that just as he was about to reach the place where you needed him the most at the moment.

And so, with a needy nodd from you it all began. It was safe to say that you were celebrating his win all night long.

Your life with Jan after you met him and after Eurovision only seemed to get better and better. It was as if it couldn't be more perfect.

You were sleeping in the bed, completely exhausted from the last night's activities. You were rudely woken up by a bright dim of the Sun coming through the window. You steached out in the bed noticing that your hair was spread out all over your pillow. Your hand accidentally fell onto the spot where your boyfriend was supposed to be laying in, but he wasn't. You found the other side of the bed to be completely cold. You groaned softly as you sat up, the sheets slowly falling down your naked body. You grabbed the first shirt that you could find and so you put on Jan's shirt and found out that it was truly to big for you. However, you didn't really care as you started to make your way towards the kitchen.

There he was. Jan was standing in the middle of the kitchen, shirtless, making coffee. As he noticed your presence, he turned around to face you. His messy hair falling perfectly onto his shoulders as his gorgeous crystal that represented his eyes looked at you.

"What are you doing up, gorgeous?" He asked you, his voice still raspy from the sleep. "I wanted to bring you coffee and breakfast in bed."

Yes, everything was truly perfect.

Pinche telenovela toda hermosa (*todavía no la a visto*)

You kno those times when u get obsessed and attached to an old mexican telenovela that brings confort to ur grandma and u in very difficult times? Yea, ,, AMOR REAL (2003) NENAAAAA, la mejor novela de época bitch !!!!!!! The ot4, my mexican revolution baby girlzzz, <333

No fictional character don't tell your friend "were/I'm not going to hurt you" they will 100% misinterpret it as you thinking of hurting them!!!

BNHA Rarepair Horror Fest #4!

This event was organized by: @bnhararepairhub

Rarepair: Hitoshi Shinsou x Ochaco Uraraka

Prompt/Title: Falling

Shinsou didn’t know Uraraka very well, but he always liked her quirk because it reminded him of a cat’s paw.

“Can I hold your hand?”

It was a very intimate question that flustered him.

Uraraka stayed silent for a moment before smiling wryly, “sure!”

She held out her hand for Shinso to hold, to which he did. “They’re so cute…” he mused. He traced his fingers along her hand, then held it.

Without warning, her quirk activated, and he felt lighter by the second.

“Oops! Sorry! My quirk activated!”

Shinsou floated higher and higher, “can you deactivate it please?!”

There was no immediate response, as if Uraraka was hesitating. “It’s- it’s not working!” She screamed. “I’m gonna call a for help!”

She left him floating. Shinsou became light headed - he could see the whole city. He got so high that the clouds were getting larger as seconds ticked by.

Then, out of nowhere, everything stopped, and his heart fell.

She stopped her quirk.

At an alarming rate, he was gaining more and more speed. The wind whistled in his ears. His eyes were forced open and his body was sprawled out by the sheer speed.

The city was getting closer and closer.

And then…

And then…!

“Jeez… that sounds terrifying!”

“It was…”

Shinsou looked at his girlfriend, who stared at him with wide eyes after he told her about his nightmare.

“Does that mean we can’t hold hands anymore?” She asked, innocently.

“Of course we can.” He showed his genuineness by reaching for her hand, “just promise you won’t float me to the sun, okay?”

BNHA Rarepair Horror Fest #3!

This event was organized by: @bnhararepairhub

Rarepair: Setsuna Tokage x Katsuki Bakugou (SetsuBaku/Setsugou)

Prompt/Title: Haunted house

“I’m scared.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am!” Tokage hugged her boyfriend for comfort, “Katsukiiiiii!” She whined.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time for this. “Get off,” he commanded, trying to shake her off. Tokage didn’t budge. It was annoying to have a girlfriend who was as equally stubborn as you.

He then sighed, defeated. “You want me to hold your hand?”

“Uh-huh…”

Bakugou took Tokage’s hand in his, and they continued their way through the haunted house.

Suddenly, a man jumped in front of them, screaming his head off. The two jumped back, and instinctively, Bakugou shoved Tokage behind him.

After the man’s scream quieted, he vanished back into the dark.

“It must’ve been a animatronic or something,” mumbled Bakugou. “Did you pee yourself?” He turned around to face Tokage, who held his hand endearingly.

“Thank you for protecting me~” she cooed.

Bakugou rolled his eyes, holding hers tightly back, “whatever…”

BNHA Rarepair Horror Fest #2!

This event was organized by: @bnhararepairhub

Rarepair: Kurea Boyansu (Clair Voyance) x Fuyumi Todoroki

Prompt/Title: Is Somebody Watching Me?

It was the final week before Halloween, so to do something nice for her kindergarten class, Fuyumi was baking cookies for her students. All alone, humming to herself in her spacious kitchen. All alone, with only the clanking of pots and pans to reply. All alone, where she heard the oven timer beep and the front door open.

She placed a tray of soon-to-be cookies inside the oven and began preparing another batch.

She felt the hair on her neck creep up. Something didn’t feel right…

…

Was someone there?

She called out, “Kurea?”

There was no response.

Still feeling slightly uncomfortable, she shrugged it off and resumed baking.

Suddenly, two hands grabbed her shoulders.

Fuyumi let out a scream, only to be met with her girlfriend, Kurea, laughing her butt off.

“Haha! You should’ve seen the look on your face!”

Fuyumi pouted, “that wasn’t funny! I thought someone broke in!”

Boyansu rolled her eyes, “no one’s ever going to break in,” she assured, “not with your pro-hero girlfriend around.” She put one arm around Fuyumi and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“Can I lick the beaters when you’re done?”

Fuyumi sighed, “of course you can.”

BNHA Rarepair Horror Fest #1!

~~~~~~~~~~

This event was organized by: @bnhararepairhub

~~~~~~~~~~

Rarepair - Izuku Midoriya x Melissa Shield (DekuLissa/DekuMeli)

Prompt/Title - Japanese Horror Movies

Cold autumn wind whistled outside Midoriya’s apartment. It was October 31st - so what better to do than to cuddle with your girlfriend and watch classic American horror movies?

“What do you want to watch now?” Melissa held the TV remote in her hands, waiting for her boyfriend to fire a suggestion.

“What have we watched so far?”

“Too much to count,” Melissa didn’t want to think about the incredulous amount of time they had spent watching movies.

Midoriya thought for a moment as he stretched the hours of binge watching out of him. “As much as I love your American movies, why don’t we watch some of mine?”

“You have horror movies?”

“Not just any horror movies - the scariest Japanese horror movies of all time!!”

Melissa laughed, “Okay, let’s see if they’re as scary as you say they are.”

Midoriya shuffled through his collection of DVDs and shoved one in the DVD player.

“Prepare yourself…” he chuckled.

—LATER—

The living room was dark, which was good, because then Midoriya couldn’t see Melissa’s petrified face. But it also didn’t matter, because she clung to him like Velcro anyway.

Midoriya held back a laugh, “are you scared?”

“Maybe…” admitted Melissa. “I hate this movie…”

Midoriya pet the back of her hair, “Ju-On is a classic.”

She scoffed, “so is IT.”

He laughed at her quip and pulled her close. “Don’t worry, it’s all fiction anyway.”

As the movie moved to its credits, bold, white words stood out from the dark background:

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

~~~~~~~~~~

If any of you have any requests for something I could post (such as a fic or something) feel free to ask! You may be as specific as you like and I will see if I can do it! Other than that, I’ll try my best to make it!

A friend of a Friend

Tomura shigaraki x reader

You came to see your online friend in a dark alley, he didn't came alone and its going to change the plan of the night.(English is not my first language)

NSFW warning: dubcon, bondage, somnophilia ,anal (a little), cum play, chocking kink, cru words. (Tell me of i miss something)

A friend of a Friend.

You were walking in a dark alley as you were about to finaly meet your online friend.

To be completly honest you couldn't wait. He was kinda grumpy sometime but most of a time were a sweet shy cinnamonroll. You were a very known streamer and you actually have a lot of creepy fan so the place of the meet up wasn't the most exiting one. You tried to stay calm until your friend arrive. It was the first time you meet one of your online friend irl and you were sadly only thinking about your safety. Not that you were wrong through...

When you were about to get back home thinking that he will probably never come, you saw two man coming. They were in the darker part of the alley so you couldn't see there face.

You realise fast enought that they might be a danger. You were quirkless. Plus your friend was supposed to came alone so it couldn't be him.

You are a foreigner, you'r nit jappanes and you defenetly don't know this city. Still you instinct tell you to walk fast in the opposit way... Stess and apprention were almost suffocating you as you wish to not have a panic attack at this moment and fall like those stupid girl in horror movies.

It was too late when you realise that this path was a close one. You face the mans that were still following you...well that were following you because you weren't actually shute they did it could have been in your head. The enormous amout of horror game could have somehow affect your way of seeing things ?

The two man's footsteps were the only sound in the alley. Your breath was heavy but silencious as you try to make yourself as small as possible not wanting any problem but ready to deffend you life.

When the first man appear your muscles immediatly relax as you reconise is face. He smile at you looking kinda amused by your réaction.

"Shuishi you bastard you scared the shit out of me !"

You laught as you hug your friend. 

His body was tensing as he was obliously not used to physical touch. The stress rapidly hit you again as you saw red eyes scanning your body in a way that make you shiver. You let go of your friend and you look at the second man your eyesbrow narrowed in an annoyed expression.

"Who is that ?"

You can see the second man slightly flinching and your friend awkwardly thinking of an awnser.

"That...uh that is Tomura !"

He knew you were a foreigner so how could you know his identité right ?

"Ookay ?"

You respond to him obviously nit satisfief of his respond.

"He kinda like your vidéo and he is the great gamer i told you about !"

Your expression soften a little as you give him your hand for a handshake

"Hi then ! I'm really happy to know you ! Thanks for looking at my content ! It really help."

He look at your hand with an awkard expression like you were the most weird things on earth. You were begining to feel insulted but he finaly respond as he shake your hand his pinky up.

"Hi then...no problem, whatever."

You look at him as awkwardly but you were actually kinda amused. He look shy and his voice sound so cutely weird too ! But you inner you was insulting you for thinking that like, litteraly nothing tell you that he is gonna be your type so what are you feeling all mushy ? You should really calm yourself...

Your friend Shuishi clear is troath and the man with crimson eyes's hand immediatly leave yours.

You could barely see the rest of his face because of his mask and his hood but you can see some white hair comming out that were shining in the light of tge moon contrating with the darkness of the place.

Shuishi then propose you to go to a coffee. It sound weird at night but you agree. When yiu arrived you saw that it also do snacks. You were happy to arrived because Shuishi and Tomura were not tge type to talk a lot on the way. Of course you and Shuishi had some talk after all it was you guys meet up but he was kinda shy and you were having a hard time with Tomura's eyes scanning. You can almost feel it crawing in your skin and passing throught your clothes.

He, on his side were litteraly eye fucking you. He's been watching your live since the begining. Even your vidéo that were less popular. You had became his obsession. More then once he through of kidnapping you and here, on of the vilains of his groups just give you to him in such an easy way. It had been hard persuading Spiner to let him have her but hell nah he doesn't regret anything. 

The little group enter in the coffee, it was empty if it wasn't for the worker. We could see how tired they were just by looking at them and you almost felt bad for making them work this late.

You just look at Shuishi but he wasn't looking at you. He simply walk to a table right next to a big window. You natutally sit next to the lezard man. You were kinda confused when tomura choose to sit right in front of you when the most logical part for him would be to sit next to the Window in front of Shuishi.

When the waitress came taking order they both take a back coffee but your friend also take a donut. You deceide to take a donut and a hot chocolate with a hint of coffee.

As you were waiting Tomura went to the bathroom, you used this occasion to talk to your friend about him.

"Shu ! Why did you bring him ! You know that i'm not comfortable with strangers ! Especially him ! Did you see how he looked at me ?"

You were speaking in an hushed tone as you couldn't stop pinching your thighs.

"Come on, can't you force yourself a little ? Just try giving him a chance. Yes Tomura is..special but i'm shure you two could get along pretty well."

You sigh and close your arms. 

"Fine...but if he act too weird you'll make him leave right ?"

He look annoyed but he nod.

"Fine."

Before the conversation have the time to go any futher you saw the blue haired man coming back. You gave him a small smile and you could swear you saw him blushing a little.

You began to feel uneasy again but Shuishi start talking about vidéo game. It was the hobbies that you three shared. For the first time you have a real talk with both of them. For the first time, you just realise, Tomura had talk. His voice was cracked but someway soft. You were feeling better now, he was kinda cool and, a real good playet from what you were hearing.

The waitress arrived with your and the other's orders. You couldn't help but smile happily at the sight of your donut.

You look at Tomura and you couldn't stop yourself from wondering about why he still have his hood on. Some people have mask so its more commun but most of the time when they arn't outside people take their hood of.

Tomura frose at your words. Did you somehow revonised him ? Why were you staring at him so hard ? He instinctivly start scratching his neck furiously. It make you looked away whitch doesn't stop him from continuing. He saw you tock a big hungry bite and coudle help but immagine your lips and your cheeks wrapped around his cock. He can feel his pants becaming too tight to his liking. He grunt at the feelings but rapidly control himself as you look at him once again.

You were happily eating as you hear a weird nose. You look up at the man that were in front of you and you eyes widened as you saw his hood off. It had been puld back by his hand when he wzs scratching himself. You couldn't help but close your thighs at the sight. Many would be disgusted by his features but you find them alluring. You often find men classic and enven basics but him, with all his features he was defenetly your type.

Spiner caught you looking at his friend and couldn't help but smile as he hope that you'll like Tomura and that he won't have to force you to be by his side.

You finish eating and you look at shigaraki drinking his coffee as you have a huge of booping his nose that were currently block against the coffee cup.

It really gave you mixed up signal. A part of you were uneasy and wanted yo ran away but the other was already having a huge crush on him.

Tomura looked at Spiner with a cold gaze indicating him that it was now time to let him have you. It didn't gave a lot of time to the lizard vilains to imagine a lie to let the two of you alone.

You were, on your side trying to chose if you like him or not and the yes was becaming to win. You see that Spiner was about to talk so you quickly interupt him. 

"Spiner can i talk to you please ? In private.."

Shigaraki looked sad almost like a lost puppy but it quicky turn to an annoyed and angry cringy face that make you block on him for a second.

Spiner nod while having an eyes on shigaraki to make shure that his boss isn't ready to break.

Once you two were outside of the coffee, you let your stress take ahead of yourself.

"-Oh Shuishi ! I have a big problem with your friend !"

You saw him flinch at your final words.

"-Come on y/n i ask you to at least try..i-"

You don't let hil time to finish.

"-That's not the problem ! Shu, i have a crush on him ! I said no crush on tha viewer !"

The next sentence was a terrible excuse but you couldn't accept that the reason you doesn't want to have a crush on him was that he is the définition of a freak.

Shuishi couldn't help but laugh at the situation. He was also relief. Now it was his job to lead you to accept your attraction to his boss.

"Really ? Well hum i'm not the best with those things but i think that you should tell him anyway !  I think that you two would do a pretty good duo ! And it won't hurt you to try would it ?"

He saw you thinking of it and he was happy to saw you considering it.

"Maybe.."

You said as you could help but imagine you with him.

"But if he reject me its your fault ! "

You always were the type to be direct about your love 'cause you didn't see the point of hiding it for too long.

You two came back in the coffee and you were a blushing mess. Your stomac was tingling as you felt butterfly. One day you saw onlinr that often its your body that feel thrilled...you didn't even know if it was true or another fake information but it made you thinks of the song "inferno".

Here you felt like it was true as you body fight the urge to be with him and to ran away.

He was starting to get impatient but you came right before it was too much.

He was about to ask Shuishi to get the fuck out again but you stand right in front of him and say like it was the most easy things in the world

"Oi !  I have a crush on you ! "

He vent all red from the tip of his toes to the head.

"The hell ?!"

He say without really thinking if it.

On your side you were determined, after all we only have one life !  But his réaction really wasn't making things easy.

"So..hm.."

You try as you start to get embarrassed. What if Shuishi was wrong ?  Usually the lizzard man doesn't say things he's not shure of but what if he was wrong this time ?

"Okay. I think you'r hot too."

The voice of Tomura cut your through with these words. You slightly blush at his words. You didn't really say that he was hot and he doesn't really confirm his feelings for you but it was a good start that allowed you a little bit of relief.

"Thanks hmm..i don't hm..what's next ? "

You asked as you were nit used to this type of things. You already had a relashionship in the past but it was in hight school so its been a while for now on and, having a crush as an adult probably is a lot defferent but him, he act like a teenager as he blush hard as he take your hand.

"You can come to my place ?"

This time your were the one that blush as you feel a tingling sensation in your cheek. He blush when he take your hand and then asked you to come to his house ? Who the hell is he ?!

On his side Spiner was looking at the two of you while feeling quite uncomfortable.

"Yea he's not wrong, you two really need to get a room.."

///

That's how you end in this situation, entering in a bar full of vilains in a town you didn't know with a stranger you have a weird crush on and an online friend that you saw for the first time. You could see that almost every one in here were looking at you and you couldn't help be feel goosebum as their gaze wasn't friendly. A man with a weird smoke quirk great you and your "companion".

"Hi, you should be y/n. I'm hapoy to meet you."

He doesn't let you the time to process his words and tge fact that he already know you tgat he turn to Tomura like Spiner doesn't even exist.

"Its a pleasure to see you back Tomura shigaraki. Can i do Anything.."

He was cut of by a sharp no from the blue haired man. The bartender just nod and start cleaning his glass again finaly asking Spiner if he wanted something to dring.

You were still a little lost when Tomura grab your hand.

"Come on"

He lead you to his room and sit in his bed his hand still wrapped around your wrist his pinky up.

"What are you waiting for ?"

He asked in a cold tone.

He wasn't doing it on purpose, he just felt to much and not enought at the same time. It all were unreal. He doesn't knew what to do too and he was also feeling sick with appreantion. His gaze was focus on your wrist were his fingers were in contact with your bare skin. It was so soft in contrast to his rought one. So easy to break that he wanted to touch you more before he might see it break apart. 

You sit right next to him and he wish that the bed would have your sent after you will be gone.No. He won't let you go. Ever. Never. His heart fluter when you finaly talk.

"What do you want ?"

It was so simples words. So simple but they have so much hiding sense to Tomura when you said them. For him it was a consent to be more intimate.

"I want to touch you.."

He said with is voice shivering in a cracked tone. As his eyes finaly meet your and open wide at your smiling one. He wanted to keep them. If you were to die he would keep your eyes for him forever.

"Go on"

You sait as you cutely bite your lips and smile once again. Your smile was warm but somehow shy. He also wanted to bite your lips. Master had told him that he can have everything he want. And you told him to "go on" so he didn't asked before doing it.

Your heart skipped a beat as he pull you closer and almost hit you with his lips in a small peek before bitting your lips. He felt weird. He clearly wasn't experiznced. You already have kiss soemone before so you wanted to lead him. 

You let a little noise of pain when his tooth broke the skin but he didn't bite too hard so you didn't really complain. You gently pass your hand throught  his hair as he let a loud grunt at the feelings. He was also very vocal during the kiss and even with your attemps on leading him to a gently one he ignore them and continue bitting you until you open your mouth to complain. It was a big mistake and he used it to pass his tongue in your mouth. The surprise make you lose you balance and you fall on top of him. You were surprise to feel his chest toned. He looked quite skinny not that it was bothering you. His grip on your wrist didn't loose and he only let you go once he was satified with his firsy kiss.

You had spit all around your mouth and he looked quite amused. The tatse of your own blood replace the taste of his mouth and you cringe at the sensation as you wipe your mouth. He couldn't help be grin proudly at the sight.

"Was that your first kiss ?"

You asked curiously. It wasn't mean or at least yiu didn't meant to be but it wipe his smile away as dark blush appear on his cheek ear and nose once again you wanted to boop him.

"Yes ! Do you have a problem with that ?"

He asked with a shame hid under some fake anger. She can see his embarassement easily so you try to cool him down.

"No of course not ! It was just..sloppy ?"

He laugh at the word you used

"I like it that way"

He simply said.

You open your mouth in a O as you deceide not to say anything about about that and the fact that here it was more then just sloppy and that he almost wet half of your face.

You just smile and try to figure out what to do next. You never don't even know if you really wanted to go any futher. You never really had done anything sexual before. You only had pump your old boyfriend's dick but you didn't do anything more as you didn't felt comfortable. But in some weird way with him you felt better about it. It wasn't plan in any way it was just caught  in the moment, in the feelings and sensation.

He  grin again and he asked

"do you ever fucked soemone ?"

You blush hard at the sudden question, he really wasn't like most people isn't he ? Talking about that you start to realise that he was hard. And not just a little. You wonder if it was the kiss that make him like this. It was only through his pants so you couldn't see everything but he was shure big. Your mouth water at the sight and you hear him chuckles as you quickly look away in shame.

"Hey i asked you a question..eager arn't you ?"

He laught once again and his hand grab your shirt. It quickly deseaper and some ashed fall on the bed. 

"Hey !"

You complain, even if it wasn't a shirt you especially like it was still one of your shirt ! You start feeling exposed as he was now able to see you in your bra only. He quickly remove it and you instintly hid your breast under your palm.

Even without really seeing them Tomura could already feel himself being close. The sight was mesmerizing.

"You'r beautifull."

He simply say as you felt weak under his piercing eyes that were trying to memorise every detail of your upper body. 

His cock was painfully hard at this point and he couldn't help but grunt as his pants was suddently was to tight. In a second your skirt and short were off as he almost ripped them. You didn't have time to complain before he used your surprise to grab your breast. The contact between his rought hand and the soft skin of your boobs make you shiver and his head fall back.

"T-Tomura ? Are you okay?!"

You asked as yiu saw him eyes closed in the matrest twitching a little. You look at him to check him out and your eyes widened at the sight of the extasic expression on his face. The smile he had was almost scary and his red eyes looked almost dark with his pupil that growed as the orgasme hit him. He just came in his pants.

A twisted part of yourself find it cute but the rest was a bit desapointed. His hand was still holding on your breast and when he finaly calm down it start massaging you. It almost hurt as he was shurly doing it for himself more then for your pleasure but you still couldn't help but be exited by it. You wated more then just that ad you truly hope that he can be able to last longer. 

He spend at least for minutes just touching your breast as you were waiting for him to get bored. He only stopped when you hide your face on the crock of his neck and start sucking on his skin. He pass a lot of time scratching himself so your saliva on his wound almost burn at first. It cought him out of gard and his body tense. Feelings your bare skin against him as you were glue to him to the point of sucking his neck was a lot of physical contact and intimate one with that. He didn't know how to react to it so he just let you do as you wanted almost scared that of he were to move you would stopped. His mind were screaming him to take charge but he was too caught in the moment. The feelings of your tongue exploring each of the scars of his neck was driving him crazy. You slowly took his pants down and you quickly did the same for the rest of his closed feeling more in power now that you'r not the only one nacked. He feel too hot in that moment. His usual cold skin was in total contrast to your hot one and the heat was almost keeping him from breathing as your hand brush against his twitching cock. The tip was red and a bit inclaned in a way that was perfect. Yiu never really find dick beautifull but if you had to admit that his was a work of art. They were some veins that run and twitch at your touch. At the base some rare blue body hair were almost making a ring around his proud member as his balls were seeming full of semen under it. You gave him a few pump at it was the only things you were really experiznced about and you look at his face for his reactiong and the look was priceless. She gave him some more as you felt yourself wetting your panties at the through of him slaming into you.

He rapidly come once again white smemen splashing on the matress and your hand. He didn't have warned you 'cause he was scared that you may have stopped. He couldn't help his wicked smile as he saw your angelic hand ruined with his cum. He swear he could have come again when he saw you licking it of your fingers. He almost felt jealous of your fingers. Alsmost because he doesn't wanted to come again if it wasn't on you. Plus he was scared to not be able to hold back in you. Even your gently hand felt so much better then his own so he could only imagine how your pussy would. 

You were already wet but he knew he had to prepare you. I want you to enjoy it so that you'll be willing to do it again with him. He spit on one of his hand and pull your panties down with the other. He look qt you to see if you were ready and your blushing and shy face immediatly make him hard again. A huge smile spread on his face making his lips even more shaped as he spead your legs. The sight was alluring. Your wet hot sex right in front of him ready for him to touch as he wanted.

He slowly put a finger in that cought a moan out of your mouth and give him the encouragement to continue. He start moving it in at first not really knowing how to do so but he quickly start understanding what feels good and what don't and you quickly start feeling incredibly good. He had another fingers in, always trying to put in deeper even if it was already deeper then you ever reach alone. He's a very quirck learner when he put in the effort. You start seeing star and mewing when he add a fird one.

"Please..Fuck Tomura that's good.."

You moan as you hold onto his arm that were holding you up onto him.

He didn't stop smiling as he were moaning from time to time at how you felt on his finger while imagining how it would be on his dick.

"Freaking tight..do you ever ?"

He asked as he was fucus of how he was streatching your pussy.

"No.."

He felt even happier when he learn that he was your first.

"Good."

He simply say as his fingers start to speed up making you clench on him. You start to  feel the usual tingling sensation in your stomac that arrived when you were about to cum. The speed of his fingers making you see start but he stopped right before you came.

"No !~ !"

You moan as laught cruely.

"What ? Don't you want the real things ?"

He said pumping his dick as some tears start glowing in the corner of your eyes.

"Its not fair..you already came twice.."

He smile again at you moue.

You position yourself on his laps and take a deep breath before looking at him with appreantion. He also look a bit unshure but he let you in command for now on only.

You slowly but yourself in front of his tip as you pray for him to actually fit.

You slowly go down and your face cringe in pain as you felt like you were being cut in two. It hurt so bad tears was already falling on your cheek.

Tomura on his side were already in pure bliss. It was so warm and so soft but also so tight he was seeing some spot of light in the dark room that were his.

You finay sat on his dick having it tataly in. All of your muscles were tense whitch honestly didn't help much for feeling better. You stay like this for a minute before he came again. You throught that ut was already the end before yiu felt him imediatly hzrd again.

"Fuuuck !"

He almost scream as a dark chuckles come out of his troath. He put his hand on your thighs and put you uo then down forcing you to bounce. You yelp at the pain and he grunt in satisfaction. A small sensations of pleasure finaly coming in your pussy help you relaxed a little bit.

He does the process again and the pleasure spead even futher. The pain wzs still there but this time you moan along with him. After some bounce you finaly relax as he change position a sadistic smile on his face.

"You know what pet ? I think this is a little bit too vanilla yo my liking..don't you thinks ? After all, slut like you that fucked on the firt day like it rought huh ?"

He laught and trust real hard this time making your eyes roll back and your grip on him tighent.

"Oooh yes ! You like that when i call you a slut don't you hmm ?"

You hated to feel this good and that he was completly right about you. 

"Please Tomura..just.."

You moan as he was still pounding hard. You head feelings light as your legs closed around him for some stability.

"Please what doll ? Scream it ! I want the whole league to hear you be such a big vilains slut especially Spiner ! The wall are so small.."

He's laught is now mental, his smile too but it only make your arrousal worse. You did as he said too desperate to feel him, to feel how hood he can make you.

"Please break me !"

He put his hand around your troath now deceiding of the amount of breath you needed.

"That's it, you'r a good girl arn't yuh ?"

You could really respond with his hand around your troath like this. You never knew it was one of your kink before but it just felt right now that he does it.

You doesn't even remember how easily he could kill you of he lost his self control, you were feeling like you were in a buble and exept him and the pleasure and pain that cloud yoir mind you couldn't feel or think of anything. You can feel the skin of your neck breaking under his fingertips. No one even him realise how your "quirkless" body resist to the deadly touch of five of his finger. You two were too extasic to realise that you couldn't be affected by his quirk.

You moan his name to make him know that you were closed whitch he honestly already know with how tight you were while twitching around his cock like a vice.

"Fucking hold it you cum dump slut ! Wait until i cum !"

He said as he slap the fat of your ass with his free hand.

You was crying like a baby at that moment your whole body trying to stop yourself from dysobeing him as he wzs pounding in you at an inhuman speed.

He let a final guttural grunt as he came along with you. You past out in the process leaving him your unconsious body. Nit that it will stopped him of course, this man have an incredible stamina.

When you finaly whoke up the next morning, your body wzs sore, cum was still driping out of your pussy and you also had so new on your belly and your face. You also were tied up to the edges of the bed. At first you were scared and lost but when a sting of pleasure hit you, you look down to see a Tomura with big dark circles under his eyes sucking in your tits and bitting it gently. Your belly and other boobs were full of love bite and other trace of owning. He great you with a big smile as he finaly stop and kiss you passionaly but still in a sloppy way. Your whole body but more especially your cunt hurt badly. How many time did he used you like this ?! The whole night ?! You also just realise that you two didn't used any condom.

"Tomura ?!"

You scream when he end the kiss, you were about to ask some explaination but the warm loving smile he gave you lake you blush incredibly hard.

"Hii my beloved pet ! Do you enjoy your night ? Because i shure do thanks to you ! Now i'll give you a reward~"

He looked at your with hungry eyes that make you want to hide. Sadly in the position he toed you in you were completly at his mercy.

He moved until his head was right in front of your clit and he start licking it like a kitten. You were incredibly sensitive from the night you past so the simple act make you cry a little. His rought lips were just si perfect against your abused cunt that every kiss felt like heaven. You were desperatly trying to move or close you legs but you couldn't and the act just make him laught witch cause you even more pleasure as it vibrate. Your arrousal were dripping on the bed as he moved down his pretty long tongue intering your hot sex as his nose was teasing your clit.

You were babeling about how much it was and that you couldn't take more but you couldn't talk properly. He laugh and try yo tease you even more.

"What ? I can't understand darling, do my pet want more ?~"

He wrap a hand on your neck and force it forward as he put a finger in your ass making you yelp at the intrusion. He oush it deep enought to touch the wall that is between your pussy and ass appling some pressure to your wall and make shure tgat his tongue can easily hit your g spot.

His attack rapidly made you cum desperatly as your wall body were twitching. You could barely take you breath with his hand around your troath. He kissed you again before finaly let you take a proper breath.

"You did so well doll, now lets just rest all right ? I'll clean you up after"

He smile and pass out on top of you. You were still panting. You realise that he let you tied up so you couldn't move but just wait untill he whoke up to free you. He was happily resting on your chest. It was kinda scary to know that he had abused you the whole night , but at the end of the day it wasn't this bad after all..after it was now your new life. Your new life by his side.

5685 words

Flamme.

"Human nature is hard to understand. Humans themselves don't understand their true natures. It's the people who do, are the one's to fear. I know I have a dark side, I indulge in it beacuse it's who I am. Tell me, why do you have to be good in a world with such bad people?

Everyone underestimates me as some pushover who does whatever anyone tells her to do. They talk freely around me, because I am not a threat. They laugh at my awkwardness. They think they have power over me.

I have calculated my interactions to an extent that I have no enemies and been so cautious about whom I talk with, I have no friends. But that doesn't matter, I know what I want, I get what I want, life while cruel has always worked out for me in the end. I have fears, yes, but I also know that I have the potential to do immense good or bad. It's your choice, if you are not in my way, you will be alright. If you challenge me, it won't end good for you."

~Emma Wright, A Girl In The Crowd (my debut novel, hasn't been published yet)

The thing that messes me up about the whole “the butler did it” trope is that we literally have no idea where it comes from.

The earliest known piece of detective fiction in which the butler, in fact, did it? Published in 1930.

The earliest known article calling out “the butler did it” as an egregious cliché in detective fiction? Published in 1928.

Obviously there must have been earlier examples of detective fiction in which the butler did it, but none of them have survived to the present day, leaving us in this bizarre situation where the earliest known callout post about the trope pre-dates its earliest known actual use by a full two years.