Gnome Hatred - Blog Posts

I will be there to rip and tear. Those tiny fucks won't see it coming...

The gnomes of the tender valley have gathered enough berries to close to portal

I, for one, am happy that the foul ogre is returning. Maybe they'll eat the gnomes =).

return of the foul ogre

Gnomes, according to late medieval swiss occultist and doctor Paracelsus, are actually elemental spirits that inhabit and administer all solids. If something is solid, it's because of gnomes.

Do not stop the dog, they are taking care of pests! If you let the gnomes live they will only spread and will slowly eat all the worms and snails in your yard. Their numbers will not stop growing and they will not leave any threats to their safety unanswered. What you need to do now is help your dog take out the rest of them, before the situation gets out of control or your dog gets hurt.

Take a shovel or other heavy/sharp gardening implement snd start whacking those little demons as soon as possible. Remember to aim for the hat, that's where most of their vital organs are located. If you cut off their head they will survive and their body will regrow within the next 12 hours and they will come for you. They are, at first glance, quite easy to keep at bay, but be mindful that they don't sneak up behind you. They have sharp teeth and will not hesitate to bite your ankles.

Stay safe and don't fall for their tricks.

Help! My dog keeps hunting these little animals in my yard. I don't know if this is an endangered species. Anyone has tips on how to stop dogs from doing this?

No. Fuck them gnomes! If they didn't want to be punted into the abyss, they shouldn't have been so short and puntable.

can you guys be fuckjng nice to gnomes. for once in your lives

When I find whatever gnome decided those sweep and scoop two in one things were exclusively going to be made for people shorter than 1.7 meters, I will punt them into the abyss.