Grunkle Ford - Blog Posts

I went onto my “dashboard” and after a view seconds of scrolling found a very disturbing post. Perhaps it would be best to update my “Do Not Interact” to include those who sexualize me or my family.

Wow another human! This tumblr app is amazing! Hi my names Uri and I'm a flareon!

(Ooc: I was gonna put an image of what she looks like, but I couldn't find the option?)

Greetings! Tumblr truly is an interesting website, isn’t it? Though I must say I am confused about that text shortcut. I’ve had many of them explained to me, but what does “Ooc” mean?

AWWW LOOK AT YOU TRYING TO USE YOUR FANCY LITTLE WEBSITE

TELL SHOOTING STAR I SAID HIII <3

Get out.

I have discovered there is much more content on the internet depicting me and my family than I thought. A concerningly high amount of it including Cipher and me. This is both upsetting and strangely expected.

Greetings!

I am esteemed researcher and “oddoligist” Stanford F. Pines. My niece and nephew, alongside an older friend of theirs, have suggested I create a “blog” on this site. So here I am!

Please forgive me if I make any mistakes or misunderstand the functions of “Tumblr”. I’m still getting used to cellphones as a whole and this rather small screen is difficult to navigate.

Upon further inquiry, my niece explained to me the concept of a “DNI” or “Do Not Interact” list. I will now be creating my own.

Do Not Interact if: You are within the good intentions of 46’\ Bill Cipher, You engage in the creation or spreading of content that puts me or my family into compromising situations, or You engage with or create “shipping” content of me or my family in problematic manners.

I have also been informed of personal “tags” used to identify and label content. Here are my own.

#My research – Implied in title; any online documentation of my research within or outside of published work.

#Personal anecdotes – Occasionally I may share the happenings around me or a particular thought from my past as I’ve heard users of this site tend to do.

#My musings – Similar to anecdotes, however these are loose unconnected thoughts. Hardly tell a story.

#So! Many! Questions! – Any of my responses to the “ask” feature.

These are all I have in mind at the moment, but I will be updating this list as they are created.

Thus is my introduction! Feel free to ask any/all questions you may have about me or my research. Knowledge is power, after all!

Sincerely, Stanford F. Pines.

The Axolotl: "Now, there'll be no more interruptions, distractions, or side plots. Bill Cipher, is there anything further you'd like to say to the Court?"

*A piano, which was notably not there beforehand, is present with Bill sitting on its bench. He flexes his fingers before drifting them towards the white-and-black keys, playing the opening notes of a tune. He then turns to face the great amphibian expectantly*

The Axolotl: "Not in the form of a song."

*Bill's eye twitches in annoyance for a moment and he closes it to gain composure before opening it back up*

Bill: "I'm innocent."

The Axolotl: "Very well."

*They move to face the jury, opening their mouth for a second to speak before being immediately interrupted by a certain triangle continuing his statement while playing a melody on the piano*

Bill: "I'm so incredibly innocent that the word 'innocent ' should be written on my face. The 'i' would stand for 'I'm innocent.' The 'n' would stand for 'nothing wrong,' which is what I've done. The 'a' would stand for—"

Ford: "That's not how you spell 'innocent.'"

Bill: "I'm sure spelling doesn't count."

The Axolotl: "Spelling counts."

*Bill's eye scrunches in annoyance at the frilled god and he does his best to side-eye them with his singular eye before placing focus back on his piano*

Bill: "Well, then 'innocent' should be spelled 'B-I-L-L' because that is how I plead!"

*The keys got louder with the pronunciation of each letter and he finished off with a selection of sweet notes, nodding in showmanship*

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Penultimate Peril: Part 2" of the show "A Series of Unfortunate Events".)

*Ford and Stan open the door to the Mystery Shack and step outside, exiting it*

Ford: "Now, all that stands between us and enjoying ourselves is—"

Bill: "YOUR OL' PAL AND OVERLORD, BILL CIPHER! MUAHAHAHA!"

*Ford flinches back as Bill shoves his face into his personal space, one hand of his grasping a flashlight which he flickers on-and-off as the other one waves up and down; gesturing madly*

Bill: "Zzzz—eerrk! Lightning! HAHAHA! "

*The flashlight then flickers off...permanently...leaving Bill to shake it furiously. The Axolotl walks up from behind him, wearing a white lab coat*

The Axolotl: "I cut his dramatic-entrance budget."

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!" of the series "Ducktales (2017)".)

Stan: "But nothing scares me anymore."

Ford: "Not even Bill?"

Stan: "When was the last time we even saw that guy? I guess you could say I ain't too worried about it. You should give it a shot! Feels pretty good."

Ford: ...

Ford: "'I'm not too worried about it..?'"

(Thank you @gemwing1988 for giving me the inspiration for this)

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Release the Demons" of the series "The Cuphead Show".)

Bill: "Make a deal with me, and I'll give you ten bucks~!"

Stan: "Oh, boy! Ten bucks!"

Ford: "No, Stan! Your soul is worth more than ten bucks."

Stan: "Hey, you're right!"

...

Stan: "Make it twenty."

(Incorrect Quote is sourced from the episode "Sweater Off Dead" of the series "The Cuphead Show".)

*Bill floats beside Ford, whom is suspended in the air by blue chains, and places his hand on the edge of one of his bricks. He then extends it out from his body and takes out a pile of notecards from within it — as if the brick was merely an open drawer rather an actual part of himself*

Bill: "Now, the revenge monologue I've been plotting for thirty years: 'To my most hated nemesis...' That's you. '...As you know, you kept trapped me within the Nightmare Realm by refusing to open the portal, where I've been biding my time, devising your delicious downfall. In conclusion—'"

*Bill cuts off unexpectedly, squinting his eye down at the cards as he shuffles through them. Ford watches with the most deadpan face*

Bill: "Wait. These are out of order. Hold on. Hold on! Don't roll your eye at me! I'VE BEEN TRAPPED FOR THIRTY YEARS! I'm entitled to a full minute of gloating! I will make you watch as I destroy everything you've ever loved, starting with your precious little town!"

Bill: ...

Ford: ...

Bill: "Ooh, that's good. Got a pen?"

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "The Shadow War Part ||: The Day of the Ducks!" of the Disney series "Ducktales (2017)".)

Bill Cipher: "Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me, though, who's 'Fiddleford'?"

Ford: "He's my closest friend."

...

Bill: "ANYWAYS—"

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the EPIC song "Love in Paradise")

Ford: "Stanley, since I left home, I've faced a variety of foes from a wide range of places. Anomalies, monsters, you know the roster — hostile creatures that I could resist. But this was a heck of a twist, 'cause we are weak to a power like this!"

Stan: "What was it?"

Ford: "A triangle."

...

Stan: "What? "

(Incorrect quote sourced from the EPIC song "Puppeteer")