I Have Friends - Blog Posts

buttonstheturtle

7 years ago

I swear I'm trying to change whatever's wrong with me.

It gets hard when the happier I am the less ok I feel.

When the more I let myself hug my friends the more being touched makes me want to hurl.

The more I care about everyone else, the less I care about myself.

The less I let them hate themselves the more I hate myself.

I try to work outside in but It feels more like turning myself inside out.

Why is it so hard for me to like myself half as much as I love everyone else?

Why is it so difficult to care about myself yet so easy to take care of everyone else?

Why do I feel like I'm giving myself away

Why do I feel like they hate me

Why do I feel so hopeless

Why do I feel so lost

Why can't I feel anything...?

Please, for the love of god, let me smile and breathe at the same time

Let me actually feel all those emotions I was promised

Someone make me less selfish.

Tags

please im tired im fine ignore me I'm ok buttons vents buttons rants im just tired why do i have to be so fucking selfish all the time im just trying to help im just trying to feel something for once i swear im tryjng dont help me hate me i feel like im ripping away peices of myself and feeding it to sharks i feel like im suffocating when i swear im fine i dont know what im feeling i shouldnt be so selfish i have a therapist my mom does what she can i have friends i have such a good fucking life why doesnt it feel like enough ill be ok tomorrow im not your problem dont make me your problem

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emptyhomescreen

4 years ago

Dear Player,

I became quiet. I know.

But I know, that you are fine.

You can always tell me how your day was.

Tell it to the stars right before you go to sleep.

I will hear about it. ♥

Until then stay your best version you can be each day.

I will do so, too.

Talk to you soon.

- ST200