The wife and I went to a hockey game last night. I present to you my unsolicited BG3 hockey thoughts:
Gale - would be the announcer (and we all know why)
Lae’zel - she wouldn’t understand the game, but she would love the fighting (she’d probably shank someone with a broken hockey stick)
Karlach - she would understand the game and the fighting would be a toss up; she wouldn’t start a fight, but she’d defend her teammates; I’d probably make her a goalie (after her heart gets fixed so she can’t melt the ice, obvs)
Halsin - would understand the game, but is too gentle for fighting; he might be backup goalie
Minsc - does not understand the game, would love the fighting, really just wants a hotdog
Astarion - couldn’t care less, just wants good wine, would be too afraid to break a nail (I will not be apologizing for that statement)
Minthara - would understand the game, would love the fighting, would try to poison the other team
Shadowheart - would sort of understand the game, but would miss every single goal
Wyll - understands the game, but would just want to skate because it’s like dancing (also not apologizing)
Oathbreaker Paladin - would understand the game and would be amazing at it, would probably fight especially if it meant someone was breaking an oath
Dame Aylin - was there when the game was invented and played in the first ever league, she single-handedly started hockey fights
Nine-Fingers Keene - would understand the game, would probably fix the game where she would come out on top regardless of the winner, would also enjoy fighting and would shank someone with a broken hockey stick (no probables there)
Rion - she’s got some anger issues and I think would understand the game and would also love to kick some ass
Zevlor - would understand the game, would love the fighting, would probably be quite good
Orin - would understand the game, would love the fighting and would also shank someone with a broken hockey stick (although she might stab her own teammates, which is problematic)
Jaheira - would be the team mom and alternate between cheering on the fighting and being upset about the fighting
Ketheric Thorm - would be the team dad and would love the fighting
Isobel Thorm - just there to watch Aylin, but knows everything about the game because of Aylin
Gortash - too busy trying to become the hockey commissioner to care about the game or the players
Volo - thinks he’s the announcer, but really there to entertain children with his nonsense
Withers - referee
Scratch and the Owlbear - mascots
(Obligatory fight pic from last night’s game)