Ic - Blog Posts

"I am wearin' it, yeaAAAAHHH--"

"MATE THAT'S NO' THE SPEED LIMIT--"

Okay why did he agree to join this person in this vehicle of death. He's regretting it so badly right now. People can probably hear him scream from streets away at this point.

"I'LL WALK--"

Vicious just grinned and he settled into the driver's seat and started the vehicle. "Glad to hear we are understanding each other. Do make sure your seatbelt is on." It was a fair warning in his books before the car sped off, he was driving way faster than he should, he had no issue driving at that speed, and he was used to out-running cops nd whatnot. He wondered how much his new companion would freak out if he admitted he was half blind.

"Well. Good fer ya?"

Archie shifts in the tub, looking over the brim briefly. No Wooper-- "Wait, pink?"

Yeah that's all he got from that sentence. He sighs, allowing himself to slide back in the water. "I'm kinda stuck here, lassy. But if I see him I'll send him uh. Out o' the door I guess? I'll ask 'im real nicely."

' Oh It just comes out like that. I dont mean to say it. Crabapples! Is another one I yell a lot. Just slips out"

She tiltes her head.

"Well..ya see the thing is..I was playing hide and Seek with Peachy pie...And I thought he might have come in here...have you seen a pink wooper with a boy tie and a blank look on his face like he just made Arceus weep?"

"Guzma..."

Does it ring any bells? If he thinks real hard about it, it kinda does, actually. But only 'cause he was born in Alola and keeps up with the news. Kinda ironic he ended up at another evil team's place after being a leader of one himself a while ago.

"So ya... destroy things?" He wants the nice lady with the braincells back.

"An' I am grateful. Fer now." Why'd he have to add that last part? Archie shifts a bit, trying to get comfortable. It was kinda hard, even if it was the nicest tub they had apparently.

"...Yer not gonna destroy me, right? Wouldn't be a fair figh', yanno?"

"I said what I said."

Something regarding him not being her type. Specifically for the fact that she's not into men. Or fishes. Or fishes who look like men. Or viceversa-- Whatever he's wasting time overthinking about this bullshit. Especially since the guy finally introduced himself and the name sounded--

...familiar? Why why whyyyyy some guy's name sounded familiar. Maybe one of his grunts mentioned someone called like him some time ago?

Whatever, it's a name like any other.

"Guzma." and here comes the confident smirk "Leader of Team Skull, destruction in human form. So ya better be grateful the gang's havin' some compassion for your sorry ass."

Even if he'd love for Plumes to ask next time she wants to plop some mythological creature in her bathroom.

"Holy fuck that's the coolest Wooper I've ever seen--"

Ah. He's the owner. Good to know.

"Cool women?" Interesting. "An' I prefer the term merfolk."

While he'd rather shout, it seems unwise to do so right now. Because of his injuries, but also because he'd rather not be kicked out all hurt without a place to stay. So he'd try his best to be civil.

"...The name's Archie."

No need to lie. It'd probably bite him in the ass, anyway. Archie attempts to sit up a little to see the other better, but quickly abandons the idea when yep, that hurts like a motherfucker.

"An' yerself?"

"I'm the owner of this shithole!!!!!"

He never paid a single dime to be the de-facto owner, but so far nobody tried to evict them so we're good.

"And the nice lady usually brings home cool women, not. Fish men."

A scoff, a quick shrug. Whatever, he doesn't feel like starting a yelling match with the backup singer of the Mermaid Melody. Still doesn't mean he'll act any less aggressive for the time being. Betta fish kinda behavior, to stay in theme with this bullshit.

"Is princess Ariel gonna introduce himself, or..?"

"...Y'know you're allowed to say somethin' else than 'Oh beans' right."

What even is this team he's ended up in the middle of. "Like, yanno, 'Holy shitballs' 'r summin."

A sigh, clawed hand resting on the injury he sustained earlier this week.

"Still-- Ain't this the admin's bathroom? I would've kicked ya out o' the team if I found ya in my private room back then."

" Im notnsure biteing them will make my pockets any bigger....plus I dont know where they have been.."

She didnt even register the tsil at first.

"Like why cant i put my hand in my pocket! Sure its an excuse to use a REALLY cute Buneary backpack but like I wanna use a pocket too!..."

Processing

Processing

Processing

"OH BEANS! You have a fish tail! Neat!"

@livingshinycharm entered Plumeria's bathroom unauthorized: "Lady clothes pockets dont have a space to hold a pokeball or a chapstick... Ijust wanna hold my phone and a bag of skittles in my pocket man...."

"Uh-huh. That's nice 'n all but I dun think ya are allowed to be in here--" He's still in his merfolk form, curled up in Plumeria's bathtub, which he has been told is the best one of the house.

This is kinda awkward, and yet he has some advice? "I think ya should jus' bite 'em."

Never said it was good advice.

Wtf is going on inside Shady House right now. Should he be worried.

"Ya started, ya--" Oof, okay, yelling hurts. He groans, clawed hand reaching for his side where Plumeria had bandaged him.

"...I AM thankful. T' the nice lady that helped me out. Iunno who ya are, and ya wake an injured bloke up by--"

A beat. "...Y'all only got one good tub?"

Huh? What? To be honest, he can't remember much about the way everything looked around here when he was carried in.

"Hmm. I guess I'm a little more thankful, then. Now, what do ya want? I might be stuck here f'r now, but I kinda wanna go back t' snooze town."

Nice shot!!!!!! He still got it after all. The… dude wakes up, clearly upset, and Guzma answers to that glare with a little nod, completely unfazed.

"Sup du--"

---just to get a taste of his own medicine …er, paper, thrown with much more strenght. It didn't hurt or anything, but having that thing splatted on his face is still annoying!

"Oh fuck you and drown--!

Ya got the only good tub in all the goddamn town, at least be more thankful!"

…dude you're the one who threw that thing to begin with.

[ @mnstcrbnll Sirio jumping in for reporting duties ]

"Oh, one second for the cameras! Our stars at home were wondering if you were still planning anything nefarius after so, so many years, but most importantly want to know: have you beaten the Magical Creature allegations after being caught staying underwater for up to half an hour?" 🎤

"Hmm? Nefarious? Nah, not really." He doesn't seem bothered by the questions at all.

"Magical Creature allegations? BWAHAHHA!! That, my friend, is simply a skill issue on landlubbers' parts."

He's just sleeping peacefully, despite being a little cramped in this bathtub, when suddenly-- Thonk!

"..." He slowly opens his eyes, squinting at the figure in the doorway. This was not the nice(?) lady who helped him out, but instead... some dude, staring down at him.

The piece of paper is floating in the water, getting soggy... He grabs it, and without a word throws it, aiming at Guzma's face.

@nolongeraqualeader

Plumeria has told you there is a fish guy in her private bathtub. When you go look, there IS actually a fish guy in there. He's currently asleep, snoozing half submerged in water with a pained expression on his face. Plumes had attempted to patch him up with bandages, her knowledge of medicine coming in handy, but was it enough? He briefly stirs, shark-like tail twitching slightly and splashing some water out of the tub. Seems like he's out for a bit more, unless someone wakes him up?

Well fuck me running there sure is a fish guy in the bathtub. At this point, would anything surprise him? Anything at all? He saw enough whacky shit in his life-- nah, fuck it, in the past decade alone, to not even make him particularly surprised.

He's kind of. Just staring at this point. An eyebrow up, a rolled piece of paper thrown up and down, his head tilted slightly on the side as he leans on the side of the door.

...and then throws it at his head.

"Wakey wakey."

Whatever. Let's deal with the umpteenth bullshit, too.

@galarglory asked: "It's good to live in the moment and not worry too much about the past."

He stares for a moment, before bursting out in laughter. "Bwahahah!! Really? Even a person like lil' ol' me?" He presses a thumb into his chest. It's hard to not worry about the past... But she has a point.

@viciousrocket asked: “ please don’t question my driving or parking skills . you couldn’t even begin to understand the level i’m on . ”

"I think I can definitely understand what level yer on."

He doesn't like cars too much. They're a weird human invention. Boats were much better, even if he technically didn't need one himself.

"Just get us where we need to be."

@silverfates asked: "Were you being nice or sarcastic?" (-Lorenz)

"Bwahaha! The first one, of course!" There was no need to be sarcastic right now, even if he sounded like it half the time.

"I think your outfit suits ya. No lies here."

@emeraldpride asked: "What the hell makes you think you can show your face around here?"

Not the first time he heard those words, truth be told. But when he turns around to look at who's basically telling him to piss off, he can't help but raise a brow. Now who might this be? Somehow familiar, and yet... He doesn't think they have met.

"Bwahaha! What's that? Can't show my mug 'round here, you say?" He leans forward, intimidatingly so (a bad habit he's still to shake), and grins wide. "And why's that?"

Anyone up for a shag, no strings attached?

Someone come give him a blowjob.

He is horny.

PANTS.

He locks his ship down and hides in it.

...He doesn't feel so good.

...Hmph. That's odd.

Oh, wait. He felt this way the other day and never did do anything about it. Oh well. His libido is easy to ignore.

Hmph. He is horny and annoyed by this.

Alas, no knot on this Seeker, or his twin.

His calipers are always tight, thanks to disuse.

Ugh, he is horny.

His shoulder hurts, and yet, he craves a good fuck.

He's just drunk enough to make a bad decision.

Who wants to fuck?

He wants a frag.