I am not sure if I should be reading more books about Allag, or any of the fictions that are in our stores concerning allag technology.
First, it was a room this time; smaller than my apartment by far, but not cramped. There was a couch off to one side, next to a window. On the other side of that was a small desk. The desk had
It was thin and rectangular. It had words and pictures on it, that kept changing, rewriting I guess. I didn’t recognize the words – whatever language it was, I didn’t know it. There were similar glass rectangles with words and pictures flashing and rewriting on the far wall as well, next to a door that I assume led out to another room. The window showed a vast night sky, with stars far more immeasurable than any sky I’ve ever seen.
There was a small hiss, and the doors opened. A woman walked in, face down and studying what looked like one of those allagan tomestones, though it was larger than ones I’ve seen. She was wearing black pants, and a top that was black but with white shoulders and a red stripe separating the black from the white. There was a arrowhead pinned on her chest, silver. She had blue skin, and short blue hair and piercing blue eyes – I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to have that much blue on them naturally
She rounded the corner of the desk and sat down. After a moment of reading the device she dropped it on the desk and reached for a white ball that she had sitting on it. She tossed it into the air and then, as it came back down, bumped it back up with both hands. She did this a few times, oblivious to me – I think I was a ghost, watching this dream.
And then she dropped the ball, and stared right at me. Her eyes blinked a few times, her mouth hanging open. I didn’t know what to do either. We just stared at one another. And then she laughed a little and said the oddest thing.
“It’s you!”
I woke up then. I don’t know what that dream was, and I certainly didn’t recognize her. Who was she? What was that place?
Was I even dreaming?
More flying tonight, but the storm – gods the storm was incredible! So much rage and anguish carried on the winds, and the rain was biting cold and sharp as needles. But it didn’t stop me I just flew faster and faster, through the canyon of steel of glass. People hurried around beneath me – they all looked like hyur, but the clothing was strange. Still I just flew and flew, feeling more of the energy as I did before.
I felt overcome with grief? Pain? I realized I was crying but i didn’t know why. It was a sadness I am not familiar with
and I realized too that I was crying. I slowed my flying, feeling my face
my hand was blue! I didn’t know how or why but the skin was blue, and without scales The surprise stopped my tears and, just like that, the sky cleared. No biting rain, no strong winds whipping my face, no clouds hiding the late evening sky
My chest burned, and I hiccupped, but this pain in my heart…I do not know why I was so sad that I would make the sky weep with me
Another clear dream. Now and then they are crystal clear as if I am watching events unfold before me, a witness to things. Of course I have had dreams like these before, of memories of the Steppe. My tribe, my parents and family
This was strange though, fantastic in nature. I was flying, as easily as I could swim through a river. I could feel the wind in my face whipping my hair behind my head. I felt an energy wrapping around me, electric. I laughed and it was then I recognized the sound was not my voice but my head voice.
Everyone has a voice they use in their minds. I noticed some time ago mine is not the same as my spoken voice, and I know not when the two changed. But this voice I heard while flying over mountains of glass and steel was the one in my mind. I knew it was a dream then – because obviously the flying didn’t give it away. But when I realized I was dreaming I stopped in mid-air and turned to the mirrored surface of a mountain to look at my reflection, feeling something was amiss and that I was being watched. I managed to catch a glimpse of blue before I woke, and found myself in bed in my room, splashing in the shallow water.
On the front page, the word “Diary” is crossed out and scribbled over, and written hastily above it are the words “dream journal”
“Keep a journal by your bed so when you wake up you can write down as much as you can remember.” Thats what she said, so thats what this is: a dream journal now. It was not working out well as a diary anyway so there is that too. And since the dreams have started to come more maybe this will be better. I can hardly remember much of them by the time I wake except that damned tree and the miasma
And more voices too! Female voices, and the same voice too but doing different things. And the song, always the song.
There is a long break, before more writing on the second half of the page, somewhat more sloppy and hastily written…
They were there again. In the dark miasma. The two voices had shadows too. One was standing pointing here and there and shouting. There was a noise like those sirens the Garleans use, and she said something about bringing up shields. I looked to the other side of the tree, and another shadow was sitting. She was crying; I could tell it was the same voice, but she seemed built different. There was a low rumble of thunder as well – it was raining while she cried. I don’t know what she was crying about.
Why is it, after all this time, I still hope for peace instead of violence? That woman said it best, how can i be so naive?
Because I very nearly met the end of a blade, and it wasnt my fault. I was hoping for peace that day too and it ended with a death. even With her blood on my hands I know i was not fully to blame
and i know this man was evil i could see it written all over his stupid little face and in his aura he had no remorse I know he was sincerely scared of us all but he wasn’t apologetic, not enough to change. But even despite that, he wasn’t armed. His goons had fled. He was no threat.
I fear so often that maybe we’re NOT in the right, not all the time. How are we any different from that man, from Garlemald, from nemesis, if we’re willing to put a man to the sword with little justice except our own? why do they think that just because we have such power that we have liberty to exercise it whenever we feel? I was scared tonight - everyone seemed ready to murder this man. for what reason?? he loaned money to one of ours and demanded payment back? and when HE decided payment wasn’t enough, now we execute him? Uldah has laws for his kind. it’s not complete anarchy there
I hoped he’d want to live. he made his choice, and i will not lose sleep tonight over the fact that he was cut down AFTER he tried attacking. But I fear I will lose sleep knowing I am sleeping so close to people i consider my family because i keep seeing this side of them that is no different than the people i tried to entreat for peace before.
they took control of my mind and had me try to kill Lyta for them. and I very nearly succeeded.
what will this “family” do to me when i oppose them again?
It’s funny, I think Kiratai told me once, the more you practice something, the easier it becomes. It was when he was teaching me how to read and write in this tongue - and he was right. He usually is. The more I read, the easier it became. The more I practiced speaking, the easier it came to me.
I haven’t spoken hingan in kami be good, it’s been a few summers since. The steppe was different, I could slide into my natural tongue like sliding down a cool riverbank. Hingan was never my tongue, but I had to learn it with Aruktai.
Anzu introduced me to a visitor, a new friend. The poor girl was struggling with eorzean Anzu knew how to speak, and asked if I did, too. I expected I’d have to knock off a lot of rust
It was like someone else took over. The first ten minutes I had to concentrate on the words, really think about how to speak again, and then after that? It was as if it hadn’t been years since I last spoke it.
I wonder, sometimes, how much truth was in Kiratai’s words, and how much that there is something different happening
The dreams have continued - the song sounding so much more desperate as it invades my mind. Images of a barren world bathed in light a great pain to the dark tree I see planted in the center of my thoughts - but what does it all mean?
I need to ask someone if they know what it could mean. Could I still be suffering from when
Pages of scribbled entries fill the diary. Most are in rough Eorzean script, while many are in the scratched pictographs of the Steppe. Details of rainy days, depressing days, happy days in the sunshine, cooking, new books read…but the frequency of writings dwindles to a near halt until…
Kami be good, it’s been far too long. Reading back through this mess, it’s a wonder how I even started…I visited the steppe. I hadn’t been there in years it was so foreign to me. I found a few other Xaela who claimed to be Ejinn, but from other tribal families. None knew who I was or that I’d been missing, so they weren’t from my family tribe, but it was
It was good to meet more like me. They loved the traditions I’d embraced from the Caravan, including my face paint. I was gifted beadwork for my hair, similar to what the woman was wearing. She claimed it was traditional for us I’m assuming it was for her family tribe, but I’ll embrace any traditions I can.
The scar still burns. Now more often. It’s deep. I still don’t know what it could mean. Should I seek out her family?
i still wish I hadn’t said anything to Lyta. Just let her bring the mangey maingey mangei dirty cat with her. And no, I didn’t know she was handling things in private because it was in private - every time we were in public it was like she just ignored what happened. i would have never known she was supporting me. Im thankful Anzu was there to back me up but also to keep us...more civil than anything else
i miss lyta. I need to ask her about thise these problems. the song. the scar. The dreams. Did that girl Jessika have them too? Hear the song too? And why, everytime I touch my sword (which has become even more awkward to control and use) the word “Bloodthorn” screams in my mind.
we think we found where the twins were being held. thank the twelve their they’re still alive...Master Zezewai is going to infiltrate another possible location alone, but I’m sure Lyta and Elrick are correct so I will be going with them, assuming Lyta doesn’t turn my words and intentions against me and force me to stay back with Myra. I just want to make sure they’re safe. I hope we can save them
Sasai Sai, a cousin of the twins, brought Kirikun home, at least to The Tower. He was alive, but still asleep - hadn’t woken for the weeks he was in reunion Sai was told. There was nothing very wrong with him, that they could tell or she could tell but there he was. just dropped in the bed and not moving, wrapped up in bandages.
I thank the gods my brother is back and alive...now if he’d only waken
Its now been a few weeks...perhaps even a moon or more I cant remember anymore. my heart still feels cleaved cloven in two. the cafe is empty...completely dead of life. staying in kugane is harder still...i cannot stand the wait to go to the steppes. to see kiratai. to find the graves. we have so many unanswered questions and i miss them terribly
It’s been a while since the events that made me want to pick up paper and quill and start this diary. The scar is still there still seared to my side scales and all like i was born with it. it burns, sometimes. I react to events unfolding around me and it stings like it knows what is happening or --- more frieghtening, it remembers ---- events the blind elezen was exposed to
the dreams are less frequent now, thank the gods. the dark tree in the aether sea --- should I tell Lyta or Kerin??? other dreams come now, Nice dreams. Memories, they seem like, of another persons life. I dream about things about teri that i can’t remember ever knowing or doing -- surely theyre dreams yeah? of course they are
I want to tell Lyta I want to take the pledge and earn my mage name. Something with the water, of course. Aqua sounds nice...
❤ + ☕ “Hi, Ana! I hope you’re feeling better... you know. You probably need a hug more than I do.” L'yhta then reaches back, trying to catch the xaela in a reverse hug while simultaneously brushing her cheek gently, affectionately against her horn.
Ana nods a little, giving the purple-haired mage another quick squeeze before releasing her. “I’m doing…alright, I suppose. Miss Kerin suggested I stay busy doing worthwhile things, and to write letters to myself to try…sorting everything out in my head. I’m doing ok. Just ready to…get back out and do something productive to help the situation, instead of cowering in the Tower.” She frowns. “I’m sorry I missed the…um…night at the cliff the other day. Did you have a good time at least?”
((Thanks, @little-purple-thundercloud! This is fun! :) ))
Ana loves contact!
Send one of the following touches for my muse’s reaction. Bonus points for a description/context of some kind to make it easier for your partner to respond!
❤ - gentle or loving touch (romantic or platonic!), such as face caressing, holding your muse, rubbing their back, petting their hair, hugging them tightly, etc
ღ - kisses of any kind (romantic or platonic) such as cheek kisses, hair kisses, mouth kisses, kiss to the hand/fingertips or eyelids, etc. feel free to specify a body part!
☕ - reassuring touch, such as holding their hand, gripping their shoulder, guiding them by the arm or by a hand on the small of their back, etc
❥ - rough, violent, or dominant touch, such as gripping the back of their neck, holding them down, shoving them into a wall, digging their nails into them, grabbing their jaw, etc
❣ - add this to any of the above to make it sexual.
¿ - write your own touches!
This book belon This is the story all about how my li
Anafenza Eji
Go Away
This is the journal of Anafen
This is the journal of Anafenza Tetheros, of the Ejinn. I am a protector of the Ivory Tower. My mission is to protect the lives of the wizards of the Tower.
I’ve already failed. This is meant to fulfill one means of helping myself come to terms with this betrayal trauma. I have some confidantes among my friends. And I have purpose in my daily activities to help distract me. But writing to this journal - to myself - is the final act Miss Kerin recomended to me. I have no idea if this is what I’m supposed to do or I’m doing it right but I’m doing it because i hate feeling this way. That I failed. That I hurt a dear friend. That I killed a stranger. i was used as a weapon and i happily complied.
It wasn’t my fault, at least that’s what Lyta has told me. Kerin told me. Kurenai...blames me. I’m sure others do, too. I blame me, though I know I shouldn’t...not for the actions I was forced to do, though. For taking the step and putting myself into that position. No i didn’t deserve it, but niether did lyta or jessika.
i just wish I knew that this would fix everything
🌑 4. Something they love but everyone hates.
Ana taps her chin. “Something I love…but everyone hates?” She shifts on the couch. “Well, I don’t think anyone hates swimming really, and reading is generally fun, right? Umm…cooking and baking are fun? I love…hmmm…
“Well, I suppose the one thing I get scolded on the most is the lack of clothing? I like going skyclad mostly (that’s what Lyta calls it), because it’s just easier to swim that way. Clothes get too heavy, and it takes too long to get undressed and then redressed and just…yeah…but that would what gets me scolded the most, so I guess that means people hate it? But not everyone does so maybe that doesn’t answer the question…hmm…hells with it. Naked. Final answer.” She nods, ending the discussion.
((Thanks @little-purple-thundercloud!))
This looks like fun...ask away all two of you who might actually look at this blog...lol
Earth:
Leaf: What’s your favourite season?
Tree: What’s the highest up you’ve ever been?
Flower: What’s the prettiest thing you own?
Grass: Do you prefer to be outside or inside?
Soil: Have you ever planted something?
Mountain: What’s the furthest you’ve ever travelled?
Rock: What’s your favourite gemstone?
Vines: What’s your aesthetic?
Plant: What, in your opinion, is your best aspect?
Forest: Where are you most calm?
Mud: Do you like to do hands-on things?
Bug: What’s your most irrational fear?
Cave: Where’s your favourite hiding place?
Garden: Where were you at this time last week?
Spring: What’s your earliest memory?
Water:
Tide: Can you swim/do you like to swim?
Beach: If you could be one place right now, where would you be?
Coral: Do you believe in mermaids?
Seashell: What’s a sound that soothes you?
Seaweed: Favourite sea creature?
Saltwater: Cold showers or hot showers?
Stream: When was the last time you had a bath?
Ocean: Have you ever been sailing?
Hurricane: If you had to save one thing, what would it be?
Rain: What do you do when it rains?
Thunderstorm: Do you like to be outside in the rain?
Dew: What’s your favourite drink?
Bubble: Do you live near the water?
Snow: Does it snow where you live?
Ice: What’s your favourite thing to do in the winter?
Air:
Clouds: When was the last time you were on a plane?
Breeze: What’s your favourite dessert food?
Smoke: Who’s your favourite artist?
Fog: Do you wear glasses?
Wind: What’s your favourite song to dance to?
Mist: Do you like fairytales?
Sky: Do you like to wear dresses?
Stars: What’s one wish you have?
Flight: What are you most excited for right now?
Float: What’s the first thing you think when you wake up?
Breath: What type of music do you listen to?
Bird: If you could fly, where would you fly to?
Feather: How long do you usually sleep for?
Balloon: What’s your favourite carnival ride?
Space: Have you ever seen an eclipse?
Fire:
Bonfire: What’s one thing you lost that you want back?
Warmth: Who is the person nearest to you right now?
Light: What time is it where you are?
Volcano: What are you most afraid of?
Sun: What would the person nearest to you right now say about you?
Lava: Do you like to do reckless things?
Flame: Have you ever burned something?
Soot: Have you ever hurt someone you didn’t mean to?
Coal: Have you ever been hurt by someone?
Ash: Do you have any birthmarks/scars?
Campfire: What’s your favourite childhood memory?
Lightning: Are you afraid of storms?
Energy: Pick one word to describe your life.
Lantern: Are you afraid of the dark?
Summer: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?