Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts
Ballister: Do you think you'd kill for me one day?
Ambrosius: Yes, of course I will my darling~
Nimona: I would too, but you wouldn't let me
(I'm not sure if anyone has done this yet)
Aizawa: [to Midoriya and Bakugou] I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired.
Aizawa: So I'm gonna take a nap, but when I wake up, oh, you are in for it.
Aizawa: [four hours later] How dare you?
Aizawa, on his phone: Smash his kneecaps and he’ll talk, okay?! I’m at a parent-teacher conference!
Aizawa, turning to a teacher: Anyway, so you said Eri’s enjoying finger painting? That’s great!
bruce wayne absolutely keeps every single drawing, card, and handmade gift his kids have ever given him. like, every single one. no matter how messy, weird, or even accidentally insulting (looking at you, jason’s “world’s okayest dad” mug from when he was thirteen), he keeps them all.
he has a drawer in his desk with the “important” ones—like the first time dick called him dad in a scribbled crayon card, or the weird but endearing origami bat tim made when he was sleep-deprived.
but the real collection? it’s in a reinforced, locked safe in the batcave.
alfred found out once when he caught bruce carefully putting away a pile of random childhood drawings. when asked why he had an entire safe dedicated to them, bruce just muttered something about “sentimental value” and refused to elaborate.
but really, he just can’t bear to part with them. his kids may not always say it, but those little gifts? they were proof that, in their own way, they loved him. and no matter how much time passed, no matter how rocky their relationships got, he never wanted to forget that.
..
years later, damian finds the safe.
he’s not even trying to snoop—he was looking for something important, something mission-critical, and instead, he finds this. a locked safe, hidden behind a shelf in the batcave, coded with one of bruce’s personal encryptions. naturally, he assumes it holds classified files, maybe contingency plans, or something worthy of all the security.
he hacks it in under five minutes.
when the door swings open, damian stares.
it’s not secret mission files. it’s not weapons or emergency cash. it’s… drawings? old birthday cards? a lopsided clay model of a bat (which he immediately recognizes as drake’s terrible handiwork)?
his eyes narrow as he pulls out a faded crayon drawing—one of his, from when he was younger. it’s him, a wobbly little stick figure, standing next to bruce in an oversized bat symbol. he vaguely remembers making it, but he definitely doesn’t remember bruce keeping it.
“tt.” he huffs, shoving it back in the safe. ridiculous. sentimental. pointless.
and yet…
when bruce walks into the cave later that night, he finds the safe locked again, nothing out of place—except for one new addition. a freshly drawn sketch, carefully folded and placed on top of the pile.
it’s of the whole family. him, grayson, todd, drake, cain—everyone. standing together.
bruce doesn’t say anything about it.
but the next morning, damian notices that his drawing isn’t in the safe anymore. it’s framed on bruce’s desk.
James on 31st October '81: *sings*
James: heeeeeeeeeeey
Voldemort, at the door: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey
James: wHAT
Any marauder: is there a spirit in this house?
Ouija board: yes.
Any marauder: good, the rent is 750 every month and is due every 1st.
Ouija board: w-t-f?
Sirius: I swing both ways.
Sirius: Violently. With a stick. Come get some, motherduckers.
James: everything's gonna be just fine! It's just a crush--
Lily: hey James!
James: I love you.
"kill them with kindness" wrong. back stabbing🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️
Tumblr has a severe lack of jin siblings content, at least the funny kind ☝️ so here's Part 2 of my Incorrect Quotes Jin Siblings style
Jin Zixuan : Dammit, Yao!
Meng Yao : What?! It wasn’t me!
Jin Zixuan : Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Su!
Qin Su : Not me either.
Jin Zixuan : Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Mo XuanYu : *whistles*
Jin Zixuan : *Gently taps table*
Meng Yao : *Taps back*
Qin Su : What are they doing?
Mo XuanYu : Morse code.
Jin Zixuan : *Aggressively taps table*
Meng Yao : *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
Meng Yao, Mo XuanYu, and Jin Zixuan are sitting on a bench
Qin Su: Why do you guys look so sad?
Meng Yao: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Qin Su sits down*
Mo XuanYu: The bench is freshly painted.
Mo XuanYu: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Meng Yao: Not if they consent to it.
Qin Su: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Jin Zixuan: YES?!?
Is this out of character? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely not.
So I'm writing a fanfic on AO3 for the Jin Siblings right? And I absolutely love those silly fucks so you all are going to listen to my silly incorrect quotes about them
Mo XuanYu: This is bothering me.
Qin Su: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Mo XuanYu: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually
Meng Yao: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Jin Zixuan: Twelve, actually.
Meng Yao: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Jin Zixuan: Yours!
Meng Yao: That's right: no one's.
Qin Su: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Meng Yao: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Qin Su: but what’s the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Meng Yao: Su-mei, they...they weren’t always orphans.
Qin Su:
Meng Yao , teaching Qin Su to drive: Okay, you're driving and Jin Zixuan and Mo XuanYu walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Qin Su : Oh, definitely Xuan-ge. I could never hurt Mo XuanYu .
Meng Yao , massaging his temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
Jin Zixuan : You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?
Meng Yao : What?
Jin Zixuan : You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?
Jin Zixuan : I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
The Squad: Awwww-
Jin Zixuan : And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
The Squad: Oh.
Anyways check out my very off cannon but very funny fanfiction about these gobbers because if MXTX won't give them a happy ending I WILL
James: *clearly angry* why the hell are you dating barty
Peter: *without looking up from his book* he gives good head and is pretty when he cries, what else do you need in a man?
James:
Aphrodite: Okay Shura, now go there and flirt with him like we trained
Shura: Okay, I can!
Shura: Hello Aiolia!
Aiolia: Hi Shura
Shura: You have great breasts
Aiolia: 😐
Aphrodite: 😰
Aphrodite: Will someone tell me why I smoke these dawn things?
Shun: Because you're an idiot
Aphrodite: Oh yeah, that's it
Seiya: Shun? Where have you been? You look like hell
Shun after having the Hades spirit exorcised from him: Yeah? I just got back...
Shun: What is love?
Hyoga: An emotional minefield
Shiryu: A neurochemical reaction
Seiya: Baby, don't hurt me🎶
Camus: Do you know what I'm allergic to?
Milo: Yes, to peanuts and any type of human emotion
Camus: Well, I can't say it's wrong
*Situation without context of Hyoga driving and Ikki next to him*
Ikki: You have a driver's license, right?
Hyoga: I'm only 14 years old
Ikki: Holy Shit--
Shun: Guys, how do you like your coffee?
Seiya: It’s not how, it’s the quantity that matters! 5 Liters per day!
Shiryu: Saori doesn't let me drink coffee, so I don't know
Saori: The last time you drank, you were so crazy that you ran around the mansion shirtless saying you were the 'Dragon God' until you hit your head against the wall
Ikki: Coffee is too strong for me, I prefer tea
Hyoga: Hot
Kanon: bitter and dark, like my soul
Saori: You liar, you put cream and cinnamon because you said it makes you feel warm inside
Alone: You know that even though I'm your enemy, I would definitely kiss you if you asked me
Tenma: What did you say?
Sasha: He said he would definitely kiss you if you asked him
Sasha: Sisyphus, what would you do if I arrived at the Temple with a box with kittens inside? *Holding a box*
Sisyphus: Sasha, what's in the box?
Sasha: I think you know--
Hashirama: *look of dawning horror* wait. You brought a child to the battle?
Madara: yes? Only as a lookout, though. I know your clan, under your orders, is honorable enough not to kill a child. He’s safe.
Hashirama: you misunderstand. *whips around to Touka* TOUKA. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BROTHER
Madara: what???
Tobirama: *sees child*
Tobirama: *calmly, in a regular even voice* who brought the child?
Hashirama: fuck, he scares me
Tobirama: *picks up kid*
Touka: double fuck
Madara: what is going on?? Why are you freaking out??? Why is the white demon holding my cousin?!?!
Tobirama: ah, he’s your cousin? *hits Madara over the head* well, he’s mine now. No take backs. *leaves with the kid*
Madara:
Hashirama:
Izuna: what the fuck just happened
Touka: Tobi has an adoption problem.
Raiden: Master Hasashi and his boyfrien-
Hanzo: He is not my boyfriend!
Kuai Liang: I'm not his boyfriend!
Raiden: ...
Kuai Liang: He doesn't understand!
Hanzo: Why would he understand?
* Kuai Liang gets up *
Kuai Liang: Set's go, love.
Hanzo: Yes, baby.
Kuai: I have been giving signals for over a year and no response...
Hanzo: Try to be more obvious? For example "hi, i love you".
Kuai: Ok, maybe it will work. Hi Hanzo, I love you.
Hanzo: Yes, like that! And if the person doesn't notice, he must be very dumb.
Kuai: Hanzo???
Kuai Liang: I swear I will kill Bi-Han
* Hanzo showing up with a black bag and shovel *: When?
Kuai Liang: sometimes you take things too seriously
Kuai Liang: Hanzo, I'm going with you.
Hanzo: Thank you, Kuai Liang.
Bi-Han: I'm going too, Hanzo.
Hanzo: It is not necessary.
Sub-Zero: What would you say if I came home with six dragon cubs that I found in the forest?
Scorpion:
Scorpion: What's in the box?
Sub-Zero holding a box: ...
Scorpion: Kuai Liang, what's in the box?
Sub-Zero: I think you know-
