Junkies - Blog Posts

Ive said it a million times, and like all my thoughts they are either ignored or chalked up to me being an asshole, asshole is an easier title than " mind set i cant fully understand " humans love a witch hunt but...

12 step programs will never work, their very basis implies that you are too stupid and weak to fix your life and you need some random theological third party, and a contact book of sponsors to stop yourself.  When you relinquish power to a higher power, you assume no responsibility, you assume no control, and whats left of your will power flutters away.

Much like a confessional in church, you then fix nothing about yourself, bottle shit up til it explodes and then apologize on sunday to a sponsor who will do nothing but tell you it isnt your fault and that your struggle is in jesus' hands or, whatever.  If you take this approach, you will always be a junky, whatever the substance, heroin, alcohol, sex, whatever.  You are nothing but your mind, the whole world is processed and interpreted through your mind, if your mind never changes, if you relinquish responsibility, you will always see the same world, because the world is what it is, its just how you feel about what it is that changes your perception.

I may be an asshole, but atleast im not a victim.

I legit am envious of people who drugs and the procurement therein are their biggest problems in life.  You know they did a long term study on junkies(heroin), and found the ones who didnt die of heroin overdose, after 20, 25 years got super bored with junk and just stopped.  THAT’S the real struggle, the drug, the withdrawal, thats nothing compared to the life after, the boredom, the sleepless nights, the regret of past mistakes, the contemplation of a futureless future, the realization that you’re not special, you’re not a victim of circumstance or of substance, you’re just lazy and selfish.

Drugs are the least of your worries, life is the true horror, and life kills you like no other thing, the very oxygen you breathe destroys your cells, the gravity that holds you to earth damages your organs, the food and water you take in slowly erodes you, the shit that backs up in you festers and eats you, the germs all around you tax your immune system so long eventually it gives up.  Do drugs, dont do drugs, it really doesn’t matter, it’s all contingent on which way you want to die, and how slow you want to do it, and thats a personal choice that has nothing to do with popular opinion

I Really Hate the “ I Can’t Help it Attitude “

I come from a long line of drunks, my Mothers family were Swedish Immigrants and my fathers family was German and Irish.  Not giving validation to stereotypes, but, all these people have drinking problems.  If you read say Angelas Ashes, Frank McCourts dad would work long enough to get paid, drink away all the wadges and lose his job for not showing up, over and over. 

He has a way with the drink they say.  That’s bullshit and I’ll tell you why, i can remember stories of people in my family drinking canned heat ( that alcohol based fire in a can ) and you’d think that would kill you but scientifically if you mix enough regular alcohol with rubbing alcohol it cancels out the formaldehyde digestion process, though I wouldnt try it...

My family on ALL sides, came from dirt, just, the poorest of the poor, and they ALL had drinking problems, but they all went to work, and they all raised their kids and they all did what they fucking had to do, period.  This whole “ Im a junky, I’m an alcoholic, I have no control over my actions because I’m drunk and or on junk “ is horseshit and the worst part is, you know that, even when you’re plowed you know you’re being a selfish asshole.

The root cause of your problem isnt substances, abstaining from said substances is just a crutch, a facilitation of excuse, you need to learn how to drink or smoke or whatever with a little fucking decorum and discipline.  A fat person may lose weight and say well im never eating bacon again, the bacon didnt make you fat, the fact that you had to eat 4 plates of it did, the bacons not the problem, the drugs arent the problem, the economy, the people around you arent the problem, your family isnt the problem, the fucking problem is YOU, and you need to change you and not just eliminate all the things that make you a dickhead about life, because there are alot of things...

Your Addiction is Bullshit

I’ve quit more drugs than most of you have done, It’s all in your weak little mind.  Now dont get confused, I’m not belittling addicts, it’s a hard thing to deal with, but you can do it, and you can do it without other sad addicts and meetings and bullshit.  These are crutches that still keep whatever substance near and dear to your heart, sure you dont do it, but you talk about it each and every week, and then when you go back to it you wonder why.

Believe all the fairy tales you want, theres no such thing as a successful 12 step program, stop being a fuckin rube about it, I go days, weeks without this or that drug, sometimes its physical symptoms, thats just like having the flu, man up.  You’re stronger than any drug, or you’re not and it will kill you, you decide which its all within your mind, but stop, STOP being an annoying cunt about it, if everytime you open ya mouth you mention your recovery or whatever, just spike up, atleast youll shut the fuck up about it.

The first time I smoked crack I was like 14,we were doin it ALL weekend, none of us slept, and then I went to school monday.  I felt like shit for days, but I got over it, without any external influence what so ever, i could do it as a child, you can do it as a sentient adult, stop this nonesense. 

I know I sound mean, and i sound like all the ignorant people that havent been there, but I’m not mean, and i HAVE been there, half your addiction problem was people enabling and coddling you, you cant recover with more coddling, youre responsible, YOU, and only YOU can change it, collect all the dumb sobriety coins you want, theyre a nice little token of how youre wasting your life now instead of booze or heroin or, what the fuck ever.

Jesus doesnt love you, love yourself.  Hell if Jesus IS real he’s the one that let you get all fuckin smacked up in the first place, he was a bit of a wine drinker I’m sure he was just passed out.

I notice lots of people hate on junkies, they’re easy to hate.  most people that hate on them though have never been in a situation anything like that, and their opinion is a witch hunt and bullshit.  I dont hate on junkies to be in some in club of junkie haters, i hate on them because i basically was one, and still have my own demons, but know god and 12 step bullshit is just that, its bullshit.

I hate on junkies because i grew up with them, i lived with them, I fucked them, I dont call them spoiled children with victim complexes because i read that somewhere, its based on first hand observations.  I say alot of offensive things, thats my charm, but this subject i dont feel bad about, you’re not some martyr, you’re not something special, I also hate the whole be like me thing, when people find jesus, everyone better also be into jesus, or else, so you go from being some junkie hooker to some fascist for jesus, oh yeah, you’re SUCH a better person now.

Man up, own it, take responsibility, and have some fucking willpower without being an annoying twat, if i quit smoking cigarettes tomorrow i wont demand the whole world does it with me, i wont stop loving the people i do because they smoke and now when they smoke i NEED to smoke, im not a weak fuckin person like that, and you shouldnt be either, we have the same biology.

All Alcoholics and Junkies talk about is how many days since they’ve done blank, and how great it is to not be on blank, and how last nights meeting about blank was inspirational.

But blank doesnt still control their lives, it’s  their every waking thought, but it doesn’t control them...