Lit - Blog Posts
Thankful to the Hawai’i Book and Music Festival where I’ll be speaking as part of the Ms.aligned 2 panel. Sunday May 6 at 11 am to 12 noon, Makai Authors, Frank F. Fasi Civic Grounds in Honolulu. Grateful to my fellow Ms.aligned poets and writers speaking on the panel: Pat Matsueda, Emily Benton, Adele NeJame, and Angela Nishimoto!
Deeply grateful to read at two events:
Seventeen Syllables and Friends reading at J-Sei, Sunday March 4 at 2 pm, with Jay Dayrit, Brian Komei Dempster, Caroline Kim-Brown, Mari L’Esperance, Grace Loh Prasad, Brynn Saito, and Marianne Villanueva. 1285 66th Street, Emeryville, California.
Ms Aligned 2: Women Writing About Men reading at Eastwind Books of Berkeley, Saturday March 10 at 3 pm, with Connie Pan, Allison Landa, and Sarah Kobrinsky. 2066 University Avenue, Berkeley, California.
Honored to be included in the Ms Aligned 2 Women’s Literature Anthology
http://elleonliteraryarts.org/b_ms_aligned.php
cover art: Súa Agapé
Nimbus Cat is delighted to announce:
Lillian Howan and Becca Lawton in conversation together at Sonoma Valley Library, 755 West Napa Street, Sonoma, California, on Monday September 18 at 7 pm. A percentage of all book sales will benefit the library.
In Conversation: Danger, Loss, and Renewal, both literary and environmental
http://sonomacounty.libcal.com/event/3500813?hs=a
https://www.amazon.com/Charm-Buyers-Lillian-Howan/dp/0824858522
photo: Angelica by Lillian Howan
It reads like Joan Didion on opium - Honolulu Magazine reviews The Charm Buyers.
Delighted to be on Honolulu Magazine’s Must-Reads Summer Books List!
the Vaima, Tahiti
Manoa Valley, Honolulu
photo: Philip Krayna
Nimbus Cat
Spring 2015 Wood
Philip Krayna is a graphic designer, photographer and outdoor enthusiast. His favorite subject matter, aside from family and friends, are the fungi which abound in the mountains surrounding his hometown of Ashland, Oregon. View his design work at conifercreative.com. More photos on Instagram at conifer creative.
love quotesexcerpt from a book I'll never writeliteraturelitalt litwordsspilled inkquoteofthedaydepressivelostlifelovepoetrywritingquotespoets on tumblrwriters on tumblrheartbreakjuansendizon7 billion broken smiles and yours was the one I fell in love with the most.
Juansen Dizon (via juansendizon)
litdialogue promptwriting inspirationwriting ideascreative writingstory promptwriting promptschoolstudycollegeuniversitystudentemma100dopstudy motivationbujo100 days of productivitystudyspostudyblrfitnessYou must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.
(via purplebuddhaquotes)
litdialogue promptwriting inspirationwriting ideascreative writingstory promptwriting promptschoolstudycollegeuniversitystudentemma100dopstudy motivationbujo100 days of productivitystudyspostudyblrfitnessStop being tormented by everyone else’s reaction to you.
(via purplebuddhaquotes)
quotewordsliteraturelitfranz kafkaDesire for a deeper sleep that dissolves more. The metaphysical urge is only the urge toward death.
The Diaries of Franz Kafka (via salemwitchtrials)
Death Before Water And Life After It
'The Avonlea Story Club'
Story no. #02 Inspired by prompt: “There was a legend about the well in the garden.” Time Duration: 1 May, 2023 - 31 May, 2023
Word Count: 2.6K Words Warning: horror elements, mention of illness, injuries, deaths etc.
Summary: Spending the summer vacation with an ill grandma in a remote village turns mysterious...
I attempted to write down a rare experience I got to have while I visited my late grandma’s village. The story I am about to tell is no ordinary tale. It is, in many ways, unbelievable too. So, I would rather let my readers decide upon believing it.
It was the summer of 2017. My grandma was diagnosed with a deadly disease and the doctors feared that she wouldn’t make it till the next year. I had a long vacation of two months from school. I didn’t have any plans either. At that moment, my only desire was to visit my grandma for the last time on her deathbed, even though it was said that she couldn’t recognize anyone.
It was the very first time I sat foot in that remote village. I had expected a lot from it since it was located far away from the city. But in reality, nothing about the village appealed to me. It was just an ordinary village with ordinary people.
My grandma didn’t come to greet me. When I went to meet her, she didn’t even bother to look at me. I could tell by looking in her eyes that she was in pain. But as always, my sweet grandma didn’t want to burden anyone with it. I spent three days in the house without getting out for once. Within these three days, I had constantly sat beside grandma and talked to her in hope that she might recognize her youngest granddaughter at some point. But that didn’t happen.
Finally, it was the fourth day when I got bored of playing offline games on my phone. Since the network connection wasn’t the best at that place, I decided to take a look at my surrounding areas. Like I had mentioned before, the village had nothing interesting to enjoy. There was no place for sightseeing.
After some minutes of aimlessly walking around I came to a stop near what looked like a ruin of an old garden. I spent a minute or two looking at its broken gate. Then I finally went in. Once again, I was disappointed after finding nothing but a bunch of wild plants growing all around the place.
There was an old well at the far corner. I felt like I should go and check it before I left the place for good. As I walked towards it I felt uncomfortable and strange. I remembered I was all alone in an abandoned garden with no house that could be seen or people that could be heard.
Yet I couldn’t turn back without a close view of the well. It was as abandoned as the garden itself. Vines and roots grew all around it. The huge stones had cracks. When I peeked inside I was shocked to see water that hadn’t dried out yet. I could see my reflection perfectly in the black water inside.
I was about to go away when I heard someone behind me. There was a little boy sitting on the ground, his back leaning against the well.
How come I didn't notice him in the first place?
He wasn’t wearing much clothes than necessary, I guessed it was because of the hot weather. He was dirty from his head to toe. I went closer to check on him. I found out that he was humming a tune while scratching his ankles.
“Hey!” I called him, “What are you doing here, all alone?”
He quitted humming at my intrusion and glanced at me for a moment. Then he looked down on his ankles and started to scratch them again. I felt an urge to stop him from doing that. His feet looked swollen and red.
Instead I asked, “Where are your parents?”
“They died… long ago,” he answered in a low voice.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that!” I went closer to sit in front of him, “Do you live nearby?” There were no houses in sight that could suggest his home. But I still looked around for any sign of life.
In reply, the boy looked at the well behind him for a moment. Then, he looked at me and asked, “Are you a foreigner?”
“No. I came from the city.” I replied.
“So, you are a foreigner!” he stated. This time with a thrill in his eyes. So, I nodded my head in defeat. Maybe he considered everyone apart from the villagers a foreigner.
“You shouldn’t do that.” I said, indicating his merciless scratching.
“It’s okay!” he smiled at me, “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
I studied his face for a while. Even though it was dirty, I could tell that the boy was really beautiful. He had big doe eyes with long eyelashes. His small mouth looked really cute when he smiled. Also, he had the kind of smile that makes others do the same at its sight.
So, I automatically smiled back at him.
“C’mon!” I stood up, “I’m going now. You shouldn’t be here all alone. This place is giving me the creeps.”
“You’re going away already?” the boy asked. The smile on his face was gone. His big eyes were filling up with tears all of a sudden.
“Aww, don’t cry.” I said, giving him my hand, “I'm not leaving you. I’ll take you to your home.”
“I can’t go.” he shook his head.
“Why?” I asked, rather astonished at the bold reply coming from an otherwise soft spoken little boy.
The boy retreated to his previous position. He continued humming the tune and scratched his ankles as well. I tried convincing him to come with me for some time. He started to completely ignore me.
I checked my watch. It was past lunch time. I knew grandfather was probably really angry by now because he doesn’t like delaying meal times. So, I told the boy to go home early and not to come to the place again. I had to leave him alone by the well.
I had almost forgotten all about it. But another meeting reminded me of my encounter with the little boy by the well.
I laid awake in my bed. The little boy sat at the furthest corner from me. I stared at him for some time, watching him scratch his ankles and humming the familiar tune.
When our eyes met, he let himself smile. "You're awake!" He stated.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"I came because you didn't come to see me again." He replied.
"Did you wait for me?" I asked.
The boy nodded.
"Where?"
"Why? By the well in the garden!"
"Didn't I tell you not to go there alone?"
The boy laughed at me, "But I live there, silly."
I didn't understand him. Suddenly I remembered I was sleeping and I hadn't really woken up.
How could I tell that I was dreaming?
"Oh no! You're gonna wake up now, aren't you?" The boy pouted his lips.
"How do you…" I couldn't finish my question. I was already awake. And as I checked, the boy was gone too.
I couldn't make myself go back to sleep again. It was already dawn. So, I walked around the house. I heard my grandma calling me from within her room as I walked past it. My eyes grew larger.
She remembered me!
"Oh, granny. My lovely, granny." I sprinted inside her room and hugged her.
"When did you come, my love?" She asked, a sweet smile on her lips.
"Almost a week ago."
We talked for some time. Grandma said that she felt a lot better and was so happy to see me. She wondered why mother didn't come. I said she was very busy with her work. I lied because I didn't want to worry her about mother's health. And I knew she wasn't the type to get hurt when someone couldn't manage their time. It is a cruel world, after all.
At some point, grandma was reminiscing about the old times. Long ago when she was young and not yet married. She used to live here, in this village, at that time. She talked as if her memory of her childhood was just a few days back. I felt like she had forgotten me at some stage and mistook me for her best friend of childhood instead as she talked.
At one point, I asked her about the old garden. I asked if it was in use at her times. She looked at me with dreadful eyes, "don't speak of it. Don't you know, it's a forbidden place to walk in?"
"Why is it forbidden, Grandma?" I asked curiously.
"Oh, dear!" She suddenly started to laugh, "I keep forgetting that it's you." and placed a kiss on my forehead.
"Grandma," I called, "Please, tell me about the garden. I wanna know."
"It was a long time ago. Even before I was born. There was a legend about the well in the garden." grandma spoke dreamily.
"What legend?"
"At the time when the first gypsies came to settle down in the land, it was a barren one. No river. No rain. Nothing. Nobody knows why the river gypsies chose to live in such a land after years of floating in water. But they struggled against this land. It wasn't habitable for life at all. They decided they'll excavate a well. After months of labor they did it too. But it was only a matter of days before the water dried out after the well was built."
"Why?" I asked as grandma stopped to take a breath.
Grandma nodded, "it was a cursed place. Everyone in the village had dreams about the well afterwards. An unknown entity would visit them in their dreams and ask them to negotiate with it. The negotiation was a human life in exchange for water.
"People were scared. They forbade everyone to go near the well. They decided to leave the place for good. Some of them even ran away from home in fear. But the nightmares didn't stop. The entity was hungry for human life. Finally, it got what it wanted.
"A little boy of a lonely mother wandered off to the well one day. When he returned home at sunset, both of his legs were found being chained. The mother walked along the long chains only to find that it led inside the very well her people had built. The more they pulled the chains, the more it grew in length, coming out of the dried well. No blacksmith could damage the chain, not even a little scratch could be made on it.
"The villagers started to see a different version of their same old nightmare. The entity now asked them the life of that little boy only. Then, started the gossip.
"The boy was an illegitimate child. His mother was not a very welcomed person in the community. They lived almost a separated life. Maybe the entity chose wisely. Maybe they should abide by its rule. Maybe the boy could be sacrificed for the sake of all.
"But the mother was a mad woman. She wouldn’t give up on her only gem. She would rather her son lived with the chains around his legs forever. The child cried. He cried all day and night. He said that his legs itched. And as he scratched them again and again, the skin had peeled off and left him wounded.
"'Mama, it hurts.' The boy pleaded with his mother to get rid of his shackles. But nothing could be done for his aid. The villagers, at one point, stopped even trying. The herbal remedy his mother gave him was useless.
"'Let me go, then.' The boy pleaded again. His mother denied.
"Finally, the boy decided for himself. When his mother would be asleep, he would go to the well again. He would ask the well what it wanted from him. And so he did. Nobody heard of the little boy anymore. Someone said that the boy had jumped off to the well himself. But nobody knew because there wasn't a body to be found.
"Since that day, there hasn't been any scarcity of water from the well. The well never dried off after. A beautiful garden grew around the land. No-one had any more nightmares. The gypsies finally overcame another adversary that was the most challenging in their community life. They lived happily ever after."
Grandma finished her story and looked at me with a smile.
"But Grandma," I spoke, "this isn't the type of story that ends with 'happily ever after'."
"Why not?" grandma asked, "the villagers, in fact, did live happily."
"What about the boy? And his mother?"
"Now," grandma stated, "they weren't the hero of my story, were they?"
"You've got a point," I said, "But don't you think that the boy could be the most tragic hero if it was said from his perspective?"
"He could be." Grandma thought for a moment, "Why don't you rewrite it in your own words then? Maybe you can do him some justice."
Before I left grandma for breakfast, I asked her one last question, "since everything is resolved, why did you say that it was a forbidden garden in the beginning?"
"Because, darling!" She looked at me as if it was so obvious, "the little boy can still be seen roaming around it."
I went to the garden that day. It was obvious what grandma told me was just a legend. And a legend can be a lie. Or at least partially. Maybe there was an incident of a boy's drowning. Maybe the nightmares originated from the collective superstitious belief of the gypsies. Or maybe, just maybe, there was an entity involved.
Whatever happened a long time ago, I could never know them for sure. I could only assume the story from my perspective and my beliefs in particular superstitions. But I didn't feel like I could rest till I saw that little boy again and demanded some kind of explanation. It might sound a little crazy to the readers but my mind couldn't make out any reasonable explanation of the boy's peculiar behavior at the moment.
I waited from morning till noon. But he didn't come. I didn’t know that some terrible news awaited me at home other than the fear that grandfather might be mad at me for missing another lunch.
Grandma was no more. My sweet, lovely grandma. The grandma who had talked with me just this dawn. I was told that the servant found her dead when he went to serve her breakfast. I almost didn’t believe it. But I accepted at last as we all do eventually.
I stayed till the funeral was over. Then I immediately packed everything to leave the place. I didn’t think I could stay at the house without feeling my grandma's presence.
But before I left, I had to solve something within myself. I had to see the boy again. I went to the garden for the last time. And as expected he was already waiting for me.
"Why didn't you tell me everything beforehand?" I questioned him, "Didn't you want me to know?"
"You know because I showed you." The same old smile on his face.
"But why me, of all people?"
He walked towards me and placed his cold hands on mine. It was the only time he had really touched me. He said hopefully, "You'll let them know, won't you? They'll finally know."
"Know what?" I asked, a little confused.
"The truth!"
I didn't understand him wholly that day. After years it somehow dawned on me. The little boy wanted the world to know. Not just the legend of the well in the garden. But the little life it took that made it possible.
Author's note: The story is inspired by a folktale my grandma had long ago told me that originated from her hometown. It was about how a pond was excavated and a child's life was offered for it to contain water. There are many versions of this story. The story is really memorable to me and honestly, I still get chills whenever I think about it. I made some changes to the plot to match the given prompt. I don't know if I could do it any justice. But I'm glad I made an effort to preserve one of the less known folktales of my country.
P.S. The country is Bangladesh…
A Reaper’s Mistake
'The Avonlea Story Club'
Story no. #01 Genre: Adventure Time Duration: 15 Jan, 2023- 15 Feb, 2023
Warning: Death (obviously), grief, mild horror, slight swearing, small space, some messed up explanation of heaven and hell, deceiving, betrayal, angst, crying, kissing etc. Word Count: 7.7k Words (It turned out longer than I planned)
Summary: Harley comes to know that the death of her twin brother was a mistake by the grim reaper that took his life. So, she makes a deal of travelling to the underworld to correct it in order to bring her dead brother back home. On her journey, she learns little things about life... and death.
Harley returned to her room after a long and exhausting day. She felt cold, both on the inside and the outside. But she didn’t mind. After all, death was supposed to be cold. Now, Harley wasn’t the one who died really. It was her twin brother Ashton. But it didn’t make any difference to her. The thing about losing a twin is that you lose yourself along with them. At least, that was how Harley felt at the moment.
She lay on the bed, thinking. There was no way she could go to sleep without any trouble. How could she, when she knew her other half laid all alone in a mortuary? Harley wanted to cry. But her eyes were as dry as dust. She turned on some music on her phone and wished that her heart stopped clenching for a while.
By the time, the room temperature started to drop. At a point, Harley started to feel very uncomfortable to ignore it. When she checked the AC remote, she was shocked to find that the temperature went down to 19°C. Before she could fix it, another degree dropped before her eyes.
“What the hell!” she thought to herself. “It’s not even that cold outside.”
Harley could detect sudden movements behind her. She turned on her bed carefully and saw a hooded figure in a corner of her room. An involuntary gasp escaped her mouth. She sat on the bed promptly and whisper-called the intruder, “Ashton! Is that you?”
The figure came forward. Through the lamp light, Harley saw its long and oval shaped face. The jaws looked like they were sucked in. A crooked nose hung in the middle. The gray eyes were very large. Whoever this man was, he was not Ashton, Harley knew it for sure.
“Who are you?” Harley asked flatly.
“I am not a ghost nor a mere human. And I am definitely not your brother Ashton.” The man replied fast and paused for a while before adding, “I am a grim reaper.”
Harley sighed. The man who claimed to be a grim reaper was taken aback. It was definitely not the reaction he had been expecting. The man cleared his throat to speak but was interrupted by Harley.
“So that’s it?” she asked quietly, “This is how I die? Because of a heartbreak?”
“Umm…” The man considered her unusual behavior for a moment. She had believed him. But she wasn’t a bit scared. She was rather accepting her death more easily than most of the people he had encountered.
“Actually, you’re not dead.” The grim reaper said. Harley nodded her head slowly. But didn’t say anything further. He took a deep breath before saying the following.
“We’re short on time. So, listen carefully. Ashton wasn’t the one to die. It was supposed to be someone else. However, due to some misunderstanding on my part, this grave mistake occurred and it has to be fixed to avoid further complications. We need to retreat his soul from the underworld. Now, I could have done the job myself but it is mandatory for a grim reaper to accompany a human, be it living or dead, to cross the river by boat down there. Yes! Living humans had gone to the underworld before. You may ask why. But I’m not in a situation to explain anything unnecessary. I hope you don’t have any questions.”
Harley could take in huge amounts of information at once. Still, this was too much to comprehend even to her. She could never imagine in her wildest dream that her dead brother could be brought back to life.
She said as politely as she could given the situation, “But I do have a question. To be honest, a lot of them.”
The grim reaper was satisfied with her reaction this time. He held up his hand and said, “Even if you do, you’ll be answered on the way. Now, pack your bag with necessary stuff because we’re gonna have a wild night in the underworld.”
“I haven’t even agreed to go with you, have I?” Harley said, irritation clear in her tone.
The grim reaper put on a smile and asked, “Do you want your brother back or not?”
“But…” Harley tried to argue but was immediately interrupted.
“Yes or no?”
Harley groaned in annoyance. But she considered the matter. She had nothing to lose but gain from this expedition. So, there was nothing much to think about, not even the dangers it may involve. She replied quietly, “Yes!”
“Follow me, then!” The reaper leapt out of the window.
Harley took as little time as she could to pack her bag like she had been told. She got out through the door noiselessly, not that her parents could still be awake. The reaper was waiting in the backyard. As Harley went closer, she could feel how her surroundings were changing abruptly into a very cold one.
“Good!” he said after examining Harley. “Let’s get moving!”
For a while, all Harley could make out was his light gray eyes before he turned and started to run. She followed him as fast as her little feet allowed her to. They kept going like that for some time without saying anything to each other. Harley’s mind was spiraling with thousands of questions. But she decided to ask the very basics.
“You didn’t say how much time we really have.” She yelled at the tall figure ahead of her.
“Let’s say before they arrange Ashton’s funeral ‘cause no soul can be retreated once their earthly goodbye is done.” The reaper replied.
“That,” Harley said, “would be tomorrow.”
The reaper slowed his pace and turned to face her, “I hope you understand now why you should hurry a little more.”
Harley felt out of breath. But she wasn’t willing to take any insults for her height. She continued to run and asked again, “Where are we going anyway?”
“To the underworld, of course!” the reaper laughed.
“I meant, where on earth?” Harley said through gritted teeth.
“Oh!” The reaper said, no sarcasm in his deep voice, “Mrs. Laferty’s backyard.”
“No way! That’s the underworld?”
“There’s a doorway to the underworld. Yes!”
Harley stopped abruptly. It took a few moments before the grim reaper realized that Harley wasn’t following him anymore. He turned and ran back towards her, giving her a look which asked why she had done that.
“At least,” Harley breathed out the words, “give me a good reason to trust you.”
“Should I summon up dead people to make you believe me?” the reaper asked impatiently.
“Nope!” Harley replied flatly, “I believe that you’re a grim reaper. But I don’t exactly trust you about bringing back my brother. Who knows, what you’re tricking me into.”
“Seriously? You think a grim reaper has anything to gain from a mere human?”
“That wasn’t very convincing.” Harley turned back to walk.
“Wait!” the reaper held her by her wrist and said, “Alright! I’m going to tell you the real reason why I’m so desperate to make it right. But you have to promise me that no matter what, you’re not gonna back away from this. No matter what!”
Harley sensed the seriousness in his voice and nodded her head in affirmation. The reaper sighed, “I’m gonna lose my job even if I mess up for once. I saw what happened to the others when they did it. I don’t want the same fate. If I can correct the mistake before the higher officials are aware of it, I may have a chance of keeping my job as a grim reaper.”
He paused and looked at Harley, “Since I need you as much as you need me to bring back your brother, will you help me do this?”
“Alright! I think,” Harley took her warm hand away from his cold one and said, “I can do this without bothering you with more questions.”
Once they reached Mrs. Laferty’s backyard, the reaper produced a scythe out of nowhere and marked a large X on the ground. After a few minutes of complete silence, the ground beneath their feet started to shake. Then the X mark glowed scarlet before that part went down, creating a stair to the underworld.
“I think you forgot to ask the most crucial question on the way.” The reaper said to Harley. She looked at him with genuine curiosity. He smiled brightly and added, “My name is Joaquinn with double N.”
Joaquinn walked ahead of Harley down the stairs. Once they reached the floor made of wood, fire on the huge torches that hung by the wall lit up. Harley looked back the way she had come only to find that the stairs had disappeared completely. Fear had slowly started to build inside her. She almost reached to grab Joaquinn by his hand but stopped herself immediately.
Ahead of them was the huge river that Joaquinn had mentioned earlier. There was a small boat and the boatman was staring at them with a piercing look. Joaquinn turned to Harley and whispered, “You stay here.” Then, he walked toward the boatman.
Harley wondered what it was that Joaquinn had been explaining so earnestly to the weird looking boatman. She couldn’t make out the words. But she could definitely tell by the tone of it that it was something she didn’t want to find out. After a while, Joaquinn took out an envelope from his pocket and showed the piece of paper it contained to the man. The man glanced at Harley for a split second before giving a stiff nod to the reaper.
Joaquinn turned back and came towards Harley with a pleasant smile on his face. “It’s all done,” he said and took Harley’s hand to guide her to the boat. Harley wasn’t feeling very good about the idea now. She wanted to ask Joaquinn if he was sure that their plan was going to work. But she couldn’t do that since she had promised him earlier not to bother with more questions.
“C’mon, now!” Joaquinn called, “Hop in!” Swallowing the lump that had grown on her throat, Harley climbed on the boat.
The boat ride was a quiet and long one. Harley had fixed her stare on the boatman, who had been rowing away without looking at them for once. Minutes later, they reached the end. Instead of wood on this side, the floor was made of concrete. They got down and Joaquinn nodded a thanks to the boatman. Harley doubted if he had even noticed that. The boatman headed back.
Harley couldn’t help but ask, “How are we going to go back?”
“You don’t have to worry about that part.” Joaquinn said casually. “It’s easier to get out than getting in.”
“Now what?” Harley asked once again since Joaquinn kept standing there for quite some time.
“Shh!” Joaquinn whispered, “I think they sensed our arrival.”
“Who?” Harley was alarmed by Joaquinn’s change in voice.
“The guards.” As soon as Joaquinn whispered out the words, barking of dogs from all directions started to deafen Harley’s ears. “This way!” Joaquinn yelled as he took Harley’s hand and ran towards a corridor.
Harley glanced back for a split second while running along with Joaquinn. She could swear that she had never seen such a sight in her lifetime. At least twenty or more animals were coming at them. But they looked nothing like ordinary dogs. Their heads were huge with eyes looking like they could fall out any moment. Their tongues were dark purple and saliva secreted from them looked like blood.
Harley didn’t look long enough to find more hideous structures on their bodies. She tightened her grip on Joaquinn’s hand and ran faster. The corridor was getting narrower as they ran forward. At some point, it was hard even for one person to move let alone two. The dogs, being huge in size than a human or a reaper couldn’t reach them before the animals got stuck. It meant only one thing. Both the reaper and Harley were stuck as well.
There was this extremely narrow corridor which could crush your bones if you tried to pass through it on one side and the dangerous looking dogs a little further on the other. Joaquinn swore by the realization while Harley started to feel suffocated.
The barking of those animals sounded worst inside the corridor. Harley clapped her hands on her ears tightly. Joaquinn looked down at her with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Please make it stop!” she yelled.
Joaquinn noticed that Harley was in between him and the underworld dogs. So, he moved Harley a bit further to make space for him to pass by her. He then placed himself between Harley and the dogs, his back facing the latter. He pulled Harley closer and said, “You need to calm down.”
Harley buried her face on Joaquinn’s chest, her hands still covering her ears. She felt dizzy. All the chaos around her, the small space, her seasonal asthma and the fact that she hadn’t anything to eat the whole day were good reasons for her to faint. And that she did in a matter of a minute.
Harley woke up in the dark in complete silence. She sat up promptly and pondered over the possibilities of her being in the underworld. “Had I been dreaming?” she thought to herself.
“Hey! Welcome back!” Joaquinn’s cheerful voice proved her wrong and she sighed in relief. That meant, the hope of getting her brother back was still possible. The next moment, she thought about the terrible event she had encountered before she passed out.
“Where are we?” she asked, panic raising with each word.
“Ah! Don’t worry about those nasty animals. They’re gone. We are now safely locked up inside a cell.” Joaquinn said those words as if being locked up in the underworld prison was no big deal.
Harley asked, “What happened exactly when I was out?”
“Well! After you fainted, the guards came to inquire about the sudden outbursts of the hellhounds. Since they found us with no real explanation of trespassing in the underworld, they decided to put us in a cell before informing their master. That’s all.”
Harley secretly appreciated the quality of Joaquinn explaining critical situations easily. By the time, her eyes adjusted to the dark and she could make out his figure sitting in front of her. She sighed and asked, “So, how do we break out of here?”
“I’m still thinking about that.” Joaquinn said casually and pointed to Harley’s backpack, “You better eat something while I plan our escape.”
Harley thought she ought to eat something in order to have some strength for the future troubles she was about to meet. She prepared herself mentally to face more obstacles too. After the greetings from the hellhounds, she thought she could handle just about anything.
Offering Joaquinn the packet of butter cookies that she had brought, which he gladly refused, Harley started to relax as she chewed on her favorite snack. She felt a little more comfortable to ask Joaquinn some more questions which were not necessarily important at the moment but were bothering her mind a lot.
“Why do you think my brother is in the underworld?” She asked quietly, “I mean, isn’t it hell?”
“It is, indeed!” Joaquinn replied, “Why do you ask?”
“Because I can’t think of anything my brother did that was evil enough to land him in hell. Wait a minute! Or is it because of the other person who was supposed to be dead instead?”
“Nope!” Joaquinn shook his head and continued, “even if it was a mistake that your brother died in the place of umm… someone else, he still would end up where he deserved to be. Don’t give me that look before I explain the whole matter. It’s not because he's evil that he ended up in hell. It’s rather because of the lack of a heaven.”
“Lack of what?” Harley couldn’t mask the surprise in her voice.
“Yeah, that’s right!” Joaquinn chuckled, “There is no heaven to begin with. Humans made that place up for the comfort of mind. Every human ends up in hell after they die, which is this underworld.”
“Now that you’ve said that,” Harley said thoughtfully, “I don’t think that there is anyone saint enough to enjoy eternal peace or something. So, I guess, it’s quite logical.”
“Not a saint exactly but there are people who are really good compared to others. And they definitely don’t deserve to be put in the same place. It’s not the flaws in humans but rather the flaws in the whole concept of heaven itself. Do you think eternal peace is even possible? I mean, what is peace without a little chaos, huh?”
“You’re smarter than you look.” Harley thought. Of course, she didn’t say the words out loud.
Joaquinn continued, unaware of Harley’s admiration, “Now, here is how the hell works. To put it in easier language, people who did worse get the worst place whereas the best people get the best, all here in the same underworld. Easy as pie.”
“Isn’t it crazy to think that once we get out of here, me and my brother, we’re going to be the only people who know exactly about the afterlife?” Harley said dreamily.
“Hell, no!” Joaquinn replied with a laugh, “I’m not taking any risks. I’m gonna make Ashton forget about this all. A grim reaper’s kiss can make you forget certain parts of your life, you know.”
“Ew!” The thought of Joaquinn kissing her twin makes her want to puke. Then, she remembered that she was also someone who knows his secrets as well and gulped down the lump on her throat.
“So,” Harley asked, “Do you know where my brother is?”
“Well, if it isn’t my dear friend.” Joaquinn had turned his head towards the cell door and called the person who had just arrived, much to Harley’s surprise.
“I think I know you, don’t I?” the person brought the torch he was carrying closer to the cell and recognized Joaquinn.
“How can you not?” Joaquinn whined, “I am the grim reaper who brought you here. It had been only a month and you already forgot all about me? I thought you said that you were glad I wasn’t as scary as you thought.”
“Of course, Joaquinn!” he smiled, “I am glad that it was you rather than some other mean reaper. What are you doing here?”
“I’m in trouble, my friend.” Joaquinn stood up and walked to him, “I see you’re in uniform. That means, they’ve already posted you as one of the guards, haven't they?”
“Sure, they did.” the boy said with a doubt.
Joaquinn yelped in joy, “Speaking of perfect timing, huh! C’mon, now, what are you waiting for? Get me out of here.”
“Wait a minute!” The boy took a step back, “What are you talking about? If the master knows about this, he’ll lock me up instead.”
“Oh no, silly! He wouldn’t. Because I’m going to take you out of here with me.” Joaquinn said reassuringly.
“Out of here?”
“Yep!”
“Is that even possible?” The boy asked dreamily. “But I thought you can’t go out into the world if your funeral is already done.”
“Who said that your funeral’s done?” Joaquinn continued, “Remember? You don’t have a family, Alex!”
“My name’s Alec.” the boy corrected.
“Of course, it is. Now, listen to me carefully. I have a spare soul to put in the underworld. Instead, I can free one from here. Okay! I see, you don’t believe me. Wait a second.” Joaquinn took out the envelope from his pocket and showed the paper to the boy.
“Who is…” Alec tried to ask but Joaquinn instantly said, “We gotta hurry if you want to get out. Now, tell me if you agree on the deal we just made.”
“I don’t know.” The boy simply shrugged his shoulders.
“C’mon, Alan.” Joaquinn tried to persuade him further, “All you need to do is get me out of here and you’re granted a second chance of living your life.”
“But what’s the point if I’m gonna die someday.” The boy argued, “I don’t even have a family to go back to.”
“I know,” Joaquinn thought for a moment before saying, “But what about… her?”
“Her?” the boy’s eyes widened, “You know about her?”
“Yes!” Joaquinn nodded, “I do.”
The boy thought for a moment quietly. Then, his face beamed with hope. “Alright, Joaquinn! I believe you. I’m going to bring the key.” Saying this, the boy had already gone away with his torch and darkness fell into the cell once again.
Joaquinn let out a heavy sigh, “Ah! It’s so bothersome to deal with humans.”
Harley had been listening to their conversation quietly but attentively. She came forward and cleared her throat before asking, “Is it true that his funeral’s not done and that you’re going to help him out?”
“I don’t know, to be honest.” Joaquinn replied, “I don’t stay long enough for people’s funerals. Once I bring them to the underworld, my work is done.”
“So, you just lied to him?” Harley doubted the reaper’s words.
“Do I have any choice?” Joaquinn turned to her and said, “We don’t have an eternity to get your brother out of here. And answering to your hanging question, I don’t even know where he is right now.”
Harley remained quiet. She knew there was nothing she could say to argue with him. After all, she would choose to help her own brother over some stranger named Alec. But her heart panged with sudden guilt.
“Who is her?” She asked quietly.
“What? Who?” Joaquinn asked unknowingly.
“The one you told Alec about.”
“Oh! I don’t know that either. Just made a lucky guess.” Joaquinn shrugged his shoulders.
Harley’s hand clenched into a fist at his apathy, “He could be gay, you know.”
“Once again, lucky guess.”
The boy came back with the key and a huge grin on his face. He unlocked the door without a word and they got out immediately.
“Thank you so much, my friend.” Joaquinn pulled him into a hug and said, “You need to wait here while I finish my job. Then, I’ll be back to get you.”
“You’re really coming back for me, aren’t you?” The boy asked, still a faint smile lingering on his face.
Harley spoke before Joaquin could say anything. “Alec, you’re an amazing person. The world out there doesn’t deserve you. I hope you always remember that.”
“Who are you?” the boy asked in confusion.
“She’s another reaper. Anyway, we gotta go, now. Don’t worry! We’ll come back for you. Bye.” Joaquinn said quickly and pulled Harley by her hand to drag her out of that place through the dark corridor.
It was hard for Harley to keep up with Joaquinn when they ran together. Because, Joaquinn with his huge legs ran as if he was jumping on the moon's surface. Harley, on the other hand, had to take more steps faster to remain by his side. Since it hadn’t been the best day for her, she didn’t feel energetic enough to run anyway. So, after a while, she tripped and fell, hard, on the ground.
Joaquinn kneeled down beside her and asked anxiously, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fucking not!” Harley muttered angrily under her breath.
“Hey!” Joaquinn yelled, “Don’t take out the anger with me. We should hurry if you want to save Ashton. Now, is it my fault that you’re too weak to handle anything?”
“Technically, everything that has been happening is your fault.” Harley snapped back.
“Okay! Fine!” Joaquinn threw his hands up in defeat, “Let’s not run anymore. But at least get up so that we can walk out of the dark.”
Harley did as she was asked to and they both walked quietly for a while. She felt uneasy this way. She felt like she didn’t really have the right to remain angry at this stranger, who had been helping her, even if it was something he needed to do as well.
So, she tried to cool down and asked, “Would you mind me asking about that paper you showed Alec and the boatman? What does it contain?”
“Well, umm… it was sent to me with the name of umm… the person I was supposed to take the soul of.” Joaquinn said rather awkwardly.
“Who is this person?” Harley asked instantly, feeling a little bad for not wanting to know about them earlier.
“I don’t think you should know that.” Joaquinn sounded reluctant to tell her, “You would probably make a huge deal out of it.”
“Why?” Harley asked more curiously, “Are they someone I know?”
Joaquinn scoffed, “Judging by how you reacted earlier for only deceiving a stranger, I don’t think it matters.”
Harley rolled her eyes in annoyance, “Fine! Don’t tell me.”
They walked a few more minutes when they could finally see the light ahead of them. “Can you see it?” Joaquinn asked, pointing at its way and Harley nodded, “Let’s get out of here, then.” Joaquinn started to sprint toward it, leaving Harley no choice but to run after him.
They came out into an opening. It was a large field full of what appeared to be people at first glance. But they were rather different entities; souls of dead humans, guards, demons, monsters etc.
Harley's eyes grew larger at the sight, "Are we caught again?"
"Not yet!" Joaquinn replied shortly and grabbed her hand. A sudden shiver went through Harley’s whole body at his cold touch.
"He's a little too touchy." Harley thought to herself even though it was something she didn't think worthy to be thought of at this time.
"Let's walk out of here casually." Joaquinn dragged her forward. He kept talking while looking straight ahead, "It's the center of the underworld. Did you see the doors around?"
Harley nodded her head. The place was circle shaped and the walls had lots of doors to it. They had gotten out of one of those doors as well.
"Each of them leads to a different place. Now the question is, which one are we supposed to be using?" Joaquinn said.
Harley asked him instead, "Where do you usually bring the souls?"
"To the receptionist." Joaquinn nodded at a woman in front of them, "They are taken to the master and he decides where to put them in."
"I bet the receptionist knows where they are kept." Harley said.
Joaquinn nodded again, "She might."
"We should take a chance." Harley said boldly. Joaquinn looked confused. So, she replied, "Let's ask for help."
Asking for help turned out to be a bad idea.
Harley was reluctant to speak with the receptionist. But the receptionist made both of them answer her questions at once. Bombarding them with questions and receiving different answers almost every time from the two of them, made her suspicious. So, she decided to play it cool with them, but dialed for the master’s number secretly.
“You may wait for a few minutes. I need to make a call to ask the ones who keep the records to let you know where Mr. Ashton Campbell is kept currently.” The woman said with a professional smile on her face.
Joaquinn and Harley glanced at each other and swallowed together. Before Joaquinn could mouth the word ‘run’, someone yelled from behind.
“Holy Molly! Look who I ran into. Joaquinn, my bro.”
“Matilda!” The woman called her, while Joaquinn looked at her in disbelief. “Do you know this man well?”
“Bet I do, Kim.” Matilda walked towards them. “He’s one of the guards.” The receptionist named Kim left out a sigh. She was a good friend of Matilda and trusted her. So, she gave them the location to Ashton’s room, which was a map since the underworld was as big as the earth itself. And they all left the place quietly.
It wasn’t until they entered a door which led them to another corridor (“Jeez, the hell is full of corridors!” Harley thought) they started to talk.
“Thank you for saving my ass just now.” Joaquinn looked at Matilda and let out a huge smile. Harley thought he looked better with a smile.
“It’s nothing.” Matilda replied, “You better explain what’s going on. Who is this living human that you brought here? Don’t tell me you fell for those tricks like me as well.”
Joaquinn laughed at this and said, “She’s a friend. She’s helping me to break out the wrong person I sent here today.”
“No way!” Matilda’s eyes widened, “You kidding me?”
“Absolutely not!” Joaquinn gave a quick explanation of what the real deal was. Matilda nodded her head. “Won’t you introduce me to her?” Matilda elbowed Joaquinn.
“Yeah, sure.” Joaquinn said, “This is Harley as I told you. And Harley, she is one of the reapers, I mean, was a reaper.”
“Why isn’t she anymore, may I ask?” Harley asked, confused at her being suddenly involved with them.
“That’s because,” Matilda replied, herself, “I did the worst thing a grim reaper could do. I fell in love with a human. It is called ‘love at first sight’ I believe. And I refused to take the soul of that person. Now, there you go. That’s the dumbest shit I did. But you know what? I’m not ashamed. Not even a little bit.” Matilda started to laugh at her own speech even though Harley couldn’t see what was so funny about it.
She could only imagine how tragic it must be; given the job of killing a loved one. Even if you knew it was their time to die, you could never bring yourself to do that. Or at least, Harley could never do that.
“The master gave me the job of a guard instead, you know. Just so he could make me regret my poor choice. Because I got to see the love of my life going through the worst punishments of hell regularly. But like I said, I don’t regret nothing.”
“That’s my girl!” Joaquinn pulled her into a hug. Harley wished that she could be hugged like that sometimes too.
“Freeze!” Some guards came behind them with different weapons.
“Shit! We gotta run!” Matilda screamed the order and in the blink of an eye, they started running as if their life depended on it. Actually, it pretty much did.
“Why are we running?” Harley asked, “I thought we got the permission.”
“The permission of only a receptionist. Not the master.” Matilda said sarcastically.
Matilda ran ahead of them, reading the map in between so that they didn’t have to lose time on finding their desired person. But at a point, they ran into a dead end.
“What happened?” Joaquinn asked, “Why are we stopping here?”
“Shit! I should have turned left.” Matilda lifted her head from the map.
Suddenly an arrow was shooted towards her and she was pinned to the wall by her arm, “Fuck! It hurts.” she screamed in pain, making Harley flinch.
“This is it!” Joaquinn sat down with a thud, “Guess I have to serve the master along with you, Matilda.” he muttered.
The guards came running towards them, seizing them by their arms and tying their hands behind them. Neither Harley nor Joaquinn made any complaints at all. But Matilda struggled hard against them only to increase her pain and to give up in the end.
“I’m sorry, friends. I couldn’t come to much help, after all.” Matilda said with a sigh.
“Let’s just leave our fates to the master.” Joaquinn replied.
“Oh, I’m sure he’s going to have a blast.” Matilda scoffed.
They were dragged along with the guards and were forced to follow them. Nobody said anything to the other. Harley understood that begging the guards to let them go would be fruitless. They looked like they were loyal to their master.
The guards took them in front of a cell. Harley observed that this one looked more exclusive than the one they were kept in earlier. It was rather big and cleaner too. The guards checked them thoroughly. They took away Harley’s backpack too. Joaquinn started to get really mad when they took out the contents of his pants pockets.
Joaquinn snapped at the guards and almost started an argument. Meanwhile, Harley noticed that the envelope that made her curious earlier layed on the ground. She took it and opened it to see what’s written there.
Name of the Human: Harley Campbell
Date of birth: 19 January, 2003
Date of death: 15 February, 2023
Time of death: 02: 34 a.m.
Assigned Grim Reaper: Joaquinn
Harley didn’t know what to feel at that time. She could never imagine that it was her instead of her brother who should have died. But the more she thought of it, the more it made sense.
They both had sneaked out of their house to get to one of their friend’s parties. She didn’t want to go. But Ashton insisted upon her coming along with him. That was when the accident took place. That was how the mistake was made. They shared the same surname. They both were born on the same day. They both were present in the car during the accident.
Harley closed her eyes for a few seconds and opened them again. She took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. Then, with a poker face on, she kept the paper inside the envelope and handed it to Joaquinn.
Joaquinn’s eyes grew larger and he looked at Harley suspiciously, trying to read her face. But Harley didn’t budge. She went inside the cell willingly and sat down at a corner.
They sat there in complete silence after the guards left. Joaquinn sat down beside Harley and Matilda fell asleep at another corner across from her. Then, Harley decided to speak.
"So, it was supposed to be me." It was not a question, rather a statement to let Joaquinn know that she had found out.
"You saw it, didn't you?" Joaquinn asked and Harley nodded slowly. Joaquinn muttered something to himself and buried his head in between his knees.
"You could have just told me. You didn’t need to hide it." Harley said quietly.
Joaquinn looked up and turned to face her, "I did it because I had to. I needed your help to make things right. But as far as I know humanity, no one would want to die willingly."
Harley let out a painful laughter, "Then, you only know a fraction of it."
Joaquinn didn't reply. Harley settled down easily and made her space to lie down on the ground. She whispered softly but loud enough for Joaquinn to hear, "If we get to Ashton anyhow, please do me a favor and keep it a secret from him as well."
“You really thought you could work right under my nose without me finding out, huh?” The master scoffed at the three captives. They had been brought before him. He was now the god of their fates. And everybody knew, except Harley, that the master liked to play with them.
“Let me first get done with my old acquaintance.” The master moved towards Matilda and spoke, “Dear Matilda, we met again. I thought we wouldn’t until you finish your 300 years sentence.”
“Here we are!” Matilda shrugged her shoulders.
A frown appeared on the master’s forehead. He looked displeased when he said, “There’s nothing interesting about you. Nothing that excites me at all. I’ll go for the usual punishment. Add 300 years more to your 167 years that’s left.”
Matilda blinked her eyes quickly for a while. Harley wondered if she had been expecting some worst kind of punishment. The master ordered the guards to take Matilda away. But she said, “Please, master, let me talk to the girl. For once.”
When the master nodded she came straight to her and said with a smile, “Don’t worry about me. I’m going to be just fine. But since you’re the only living person I can say this to, I will. Remember that it’s coming from an ex grim reaper’s mouth.”
Matilda took a deep breath before saying, “Life’s too short to waste over stupid mistakes. Please, don’t leave any regrets. So that when it’s your time to die, you can die a happy human.”
Harley could say nothing in return. She glanced at Joaquinn. But he had been keeping his eyes down to the floor. Matilda pulled Harley into a warm embrace. Harley could swear that she had never been hugged like this her entire life. Then, Matilda was taken away.
The master walked around the room, thinking. Harley thought he was probably thinking of how to punish them.
“Alright!” the master announced, “I think I know what to do with you two.” He smirked at Harley, “You’re here to save your brother, right?”
Harley nodded her head rather innocently. She looked a little too desperate. Joaquinn bit his lower lip in frustration. For some reason, he was really mad at himself.
“I will grant you that wish then.” The master said and Joaquinn’s head shot up.
He asked in disbelief, “You’re gonna let us go?”
The master shook his head as he laughed, “Not that easily! But hear me out. I thought for a moment how I had never granted anything to anybody before. So, it might be a good thing to experiment on. But again, there is a condition.”
The master walked to Joaquinn and said to him only, “I will let this slip for only once. If you can make it right this time, you’re free to go. But if you mess up again, just once again, you’re going to have the same fate as your friend, Matilda.”
The master walked back to his seat and asked, “So, tell me, Joaquinn, do you accept it?”
Joaquinn glanced at Harley. But this time, her head was bent downward. Joaquinn swallowed hard and replied, “Yes!”
The master said nothing in return. But Harley noticed a satisfied face when she looked at him for the last time.
The moment Harley had been waiting for had never been closer. Two guards accompanied them to the cell where Ashton had been kept. They opened the cell door and giving a stiff nod went away. Harley stepped inside first followed by Joaquinn.
Ashton was sitting by his bed. He first thought that some guards had visited him. But when he saw his twin sister’s face, which was so much similar to his own, he couldn’t help but cry out.
“Harley!” He stood up and hugged her right away. “Oh, Harley! I’ve been so alone and I missed you so much.” Then, he looked at her face and his smile drowned, “Are you dead too?”
“No, I’m not!” Harley tried to show a smile, “I’m here to bring you back home.”
Ashton looked puzzled at her comment, “But I thought I died.” He looked at Joaquinn and said, “And you were the grim reaper who brought me here.”
Harley nodded and said, “Yes, I know. But there had been some mistakes. He shouldn’t have taken your soul. It should have been someone else. Anyway, we’ve sorted it out. Now, let’s get you out of here before the master comes up with some cruel ideas.”
Ashton nodded even though he wasn’t very sure about the whole matter. They got out of the cell and walked through the corridor. Joaquinn walked ahead of them, map in his hand. Harley thought that he had been exceptionally quiet. Probably giving them some privacy so that they could talk for the last time.
So, they talked. Harley told Ashton everything she couldn’t have. She told him how much she loved him but was never able to express it. She told him how he was the only person Harley cared about. She told him how much she hated her parents for discriminating between them and loving Ashton a little less than they did Harley.
By the time they had reached the river, both the siblings had become too emotional. Harley knew that it was their last meeting. But she couldn’t really say goodbye to her brother in fear that he might refuse to cooperate.
“Let’s get on the boat.” Ashton exclaimed, “I can’t wait to start anew.”
“Wait!” Joaquinn stepped forward, “Ashton! Don’t you want to know who this other person is? The one who’s to die instead of you?”
Harley glared at Joaquinn, shaking her head to remind him of the favor she had asked earlier. Ashton was too confused to understand it. He simply asked, “Who?”
Joaquinn swallowed before saying, “It’s Harley.”
Harley closed her eyes in disbelief. She thought she could trust this reaper only for once. But no!
It took a few minutes before Ashton realized what the reaper had informed. He gasped, “Oh my God! Harley!”
“No, Ashton!” Harley said, cupping her brother’s face in her hands, “It’s okay! Don’t feel too sad. I already know about it and I’ve accepted it too. Please, brother, it’s fine.”
But Ashton had been shaking his head in denial, “There’s no way I’m going back without you. No way! I can’t do this. I can’t take your life.”
“But it’s your life that I’ve been living right now.” Harley argued, “It was meant to be me from the start. Please, Ashton, don’t act like this.”
Ashton hugged Harley once again and Harley sunk into his embrace. Tears started to stream down her face. Ashton, on the other hand, was crying too. Seeing them in such misery, Joaquinn realized he had to step in.
He spoke, his voice shaking from the emotion that had been building inside him unknowingly, “I’m sorry to say this but I don’t think I can do this either. I can’t take your soul, Harley. I just can’t.”
Harley let go of Ashton. She looked furious. She yelled at Joaquinn, “It’s all your fault. You have to fix it now. You have to take my brother back to the world. I’m not taking any ‘sorry’ from you.”
Ashton tried to calm her down. He had never seen Harley in such a vulnerable state before. He pulled Harley back and they sat down on the concrete floor together. Ashton patted her softly on the back. When Harley finally stopped crying, he spoke.
“It’s okay! I’ve already faced death and I’ve accepted it too. Just think about mother and father. They had already gone through my death. How do you expect them to behave if they found out it was you and not me?”
“I don’t give a fuck about them.” Harley snapped.
Ashton chuckled and said each word as if he meant them, “Don’t be so stubborn, Harley. I know you love them, no matter what you say. Okay! If you don’t want to think of them, think of yourself. You have so many regrets. I know you do. But I don’t really have much. I have enjoyed my life the way I wanted to. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t the favorite child. But you had been fulfilling their dreams all this time that you never stopped to think what you wanted for yourself. I know, being a favorite child has its disadvantages. Now, what I want is that you go back and live the life you wanted. Not the one you were meant to. We’ll meet again. Then, I hope you would tell me what a happy and free life you had led.”
Harley suddenly remembered Matilda’s words, “Please, don’t leave any regrets.”
Harley looked at her brother and tears filled her eyes. She buried her head into his neck and sobbed quietly, while Ashton softly stroked her hair.
The boat ride back without Ashton was quiet at first. Harley could feel that her body was screaming for a nap. She was exhausted by everything that had happened in the past few hours. Harley felt as if she had lived through days.
The thought of leaving behind her twin made her eyes watery once again. She didn’t mind them anymore. Never in her life had she cried so hard. She felt that from now on, it would be a little easier for her to cry whenever she needed to. So, she sobbed in her hands freely.
Joaquinn sat closer and unconsciously wrapped his hands around her shoulders. Harley let herself lean onto his chest and cried silently. Then, she suddenly remembered the deal Joaquinn had made earlier with the master. She remembered how his face glowed with glory as if he had been expecting Joaquinn to fail.
“Joaquinn!” She called and looked up to his face, “But the master is going to hold you captive. You’re going to lose the job. You need…”
Joaquinn hushed her up and pulled her into a hug. He whispered to her softly, “It’s okay, Harley. I’ve learned to take responsibility for my actions. Everything was my fault, after all.”
Harley sniffed but remained silent. Joaquinn ran his hands through her hair and said, “I think, I ought to apologize to you. I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save your brother. I’m sorry, Harley, for everything.”
Harley nodded and said quietly, “Can we please stay like this until we reach the other side?” Joaquinn hummed and pulled her a little closer, letting her relax into his arms.
When they finally reached the spot, Joaquinn gently pulled her away. He held her by the shoulders to support while she got off the boat. The stairs had appeared once again. They climbed the stairs side by side and came into the opening of Mrs. Laferty’s backyard. The dawn was about to break. There was not a soul in sight.
Harley turned to Joaquinn to say her final goodbye. But he shook his head as if he knew what she was about to say. He said, “It’s not a goodbye. I hope we’ll meet again.”
He cupped her face into his cold hands and said, “It’s time for you to go back to being normal again. Don’t worry! I’ll let you remember the part where your brother and… someone you knew advised you to live your life with no regrets.”
Harley nodded her head in agreement. Joaquinn leaned forward to kiss her warm lips gently. Closing her eyes, Harley felt the moment with all her might till it lasted.
Author’s Note: This is the first ever story of the first month for my story club. Since I’m not a pro at this, please consider stupid mistakes. And also, I appreciate your honest feedbacks. The door to constructive criticism is always open to the readers.
Please check out my partner’s work of the month as well and support her > @littlemissblogger
‘Demian’ by Hermann Hesse - Book Review
Genre: Psychological/Spiritual
Rating: 4/5
Summary: When Sinclair, as a child, first experiences the dark side of the world apart from the bright side he grew up in, he realizes there must exist a balance between the two worlds in his life.
My Opinion: This book literally got me hooked since the first chapter. The writing style is so breathtaking that I had to stop reading from time to time. The first chapter called us all out. How can we call ourselves the people of light when we sleep peacefully at night knowing that our neighbors are out there, suffering in the dark? Throughout the whole book, the aspects of the world and humans are all divided into the two worlds; that is the ‘bright world’ and the ‘dark world’. But of course, one cannot exist without the other. With this mindset, the writer had presented a beautiful coming-of-age story. Another point I noticed worth mentioning is that the learning process from one’s inner self other than what the world has to offer. This way, we can grow as a person with full freedom. Even though there were things which were a little obscure to me, I still enjoyed most of the book. It had taught me things about myself which I was too afraid to admit. Somehow, I found this book to be a life-saver. I still think it is not for everyone though. Some people might find it a little disturbing while others might fail to connect to the moral concepts of it.
Confession Time: I would have probably never read this if I didn’t know that the ‘Wings’ album of BTS was based off this book. And I’m glad that I did because it is one of my favorite albums by them. Being a person who likes to interpret double meanings and metaphors in arts, I found the references of this book throughout their music videos, short films and songs really amusing.
Characterization: I loved the characterization of Sinclair. But about Max Demian, I’m not a hundred percent sure. Sinclair is a relatable character. I, too, can relate to him in terms of his way of distinguishing the good and evil. Another thing about Sinclair I also find in myself is that he’s a bit pathetic. One way or the other, he is always clinging onto someone, be it his parents from the ‘bright world’ or his friends from the ‘dark one’. I loved the fact that when he found himself surrounded by complete despair and evil, it was love that had drawn him back into the world. I loved the author’s way of describing Max Demian, His appearance was so appealing and haunting at the same time. It totally suited the character that he represented.
Quote: “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.”
“The Female of the Species” book review
Rating: 4/5
Genre: Contemporary
Summary: Alex Craft kills. Not just ordinary people. But people who hurt other people. People who don't know the difference between an object and a (female) human. Alex Craft feels numb and out of the society. But when she finds friends, her known world starts to change.
My Opinion: Firstly, the name of the book intrigued me. When I searched it up, the synopsis too, interested me. Then I found out that the plot of the book takes place in Ohio. That was the final straw for me. I decided to read it immediately.
The writing style of the novel is beautiful. It is written in short chapters from the perspectives of three people: Alex, Jack and Peekay.
As much as I like Alex and Peekay (or Claire, which is her real name), I don’t really care about Jack at all. I know it’s supposed to be realistic. I know a lot of guys out there are like Jack. But it doesn’t excuse the fact that Jack is a bit of an asshole in some ways. Though he feels guilty, he doesn’t bother changing himself for good. The thing I mostly hate about him is comparing Alex with other girls, and telling how really special she is, whereas the other girls are all the same and stuff like that. He is also a total douchebag to his best friend, Branley. Nonetheless it was brave for the writer to put such realistic characters into the book.
Quote: "I live in a world where not being molested as a child is considered luck."
L. V., i found this poem on the wall when the paint started to peel off
L. V., i'll hand it to you / you don't need to steal anything here
L. V., i found this poem underneath your nails
L. V., i found this poem written in the fine print
L. V., i found this poem dripping down my forearm after taking a bite of a freshly-plucked summer fruit
L. V., i found this poem in a dream i didn't want to wake up from
L. V., i found this poem staring back at me from across a busy road
L. V., i found this poem stuck between the lines of your last text message
L. V., writing in the dark (pt. 6: because i don't know what to do with all this light)
L. V., i found this poem scribbled on the underside of a mountain
