Mark Lee - Blog Posts

kun: good job,yang!

yangyang: you’re giving me a sticker?

kun:mhm

yangyang:what am i,a kindergartner?

kun: okay fine,i’ll take it back-

yangyang:hey,i earned that!

"Covens of October" MARKHYUCK FANTASY AU

Prologue

Two rival families have long lived in the Bokor Forest, in the mysterious and boring town of Solumville: the Lumen and the Tenebris.

For hundreds of years, their ancestors have lived in an environment of rivalry, distrust and hatred, thanks to their different ways of obtaining magic.

On one side, the Tenebris family, a thousand-year-old family of witches and warlocks who obtain their powers thanks to their devotion to Satan and other evil forces. The first generations used to dedicate themselves to the dark arts, although today they continue to obtain their powers from it, they no longer use it in the same way as before. And although they do not dedicate themselves to doing evil, witches and warlocks (especially of this family) have always had a bad reputation in the Hidden World due to how their first ancestors obtained their powers and they have always been judged and discriminated against, making them be resentful and disgusted towards the rest of the Hidden community.

On the other side, the Lumen family of talented wizards and sorcerers. Wizards and sorcerers had always been respected and admired in the community, as they were considered the purest beings in the Hidden World. Born from the flashes of the brightest light hundreds of years ago, they have always been in a place of privilege, except for the Lumen. Some years ago, when her children were still very young, a scandal broke out when it was discovered that Evanora Lumen's father had married a witch. Everyone in the Hidden World believed that Evanora was half witch and half sorcerer, a hybrid, an abomination. But after several investigations this could not be proven and the Lumen family has had a bad reputation ever since.

Both families reside in the Bokor forest where, despite everything, they remain faithful to the most important rule of their community: to keep the Hidden World for what it is; a hidden and secret world. Community anonymity is and has always been the most important law to keep all magical creatures in the rest of the human world safe, and any attempt to violate this law was severely punished, even with death.

But there were certain people who believed that any creature that is out of the ordinary was a threat to the world, that they should be destroyed: the Venandis.

The Venandis were a group of hunters of magical creatures that chased anyone in the community, captured them, and almost always killed them. Multiple times they tried to take this world out of anonymity until the leader of the Venandis, Gamiro Salante, died in an attack years ago and since then it is believed that, without their leader, the group of hunters disbanded as they were never seen again, until recently.

Now the Lumen and Tenebris, who are not only natural rivals but also have years of family secrets and hatred, must put aside their differences to make way for teamwork (and perhaps love) in order to save their families and the Hidden World of a threat that stalks them all equally.

story by me - badlem_ on twt & ig / BLUNTPINK on wattpad

translated from Spanish to English by citysdelight on twt / redshenv on ig

soon to be uploaded on ao3

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GENRE: gen, tua au, angst, hurt/comfort

SUMMARY: Renjun is thirteen when the world ends around him. He's seventeen when he tries to save it. Title from 그냥 괴물을 살려두면 안 되는 걸까 (Can’t We Just Leave The Monster Alive?) by TXT

WARNINGS: temporary character death, apocalypse, child abuse, child neglect, grief, alcoholism, underage drinking, minor emetophobia

Chapter 3

Jaemin spends his morning tending to his brothers. It’s what he does. As kids The Rumor’s power was always best suited for offense. Jaemin’s job was to stop people when they got too close to his brothers, and it bled into every aspect of Jaemin’s life.

Always treat Mark’s injuries because his eldest brother would bleed himself dry for their father. Always feed Renjun because his scattered molecules and exhausted body after spatial jumping for hours on end burned through calories faster than the boy could handle. Always support Jeno’s plans, even the ones doomed to fail, while thinking of backup options so his brother didn’t crumble.

Always hug Donghyuck, tight and warm and alive, so the boy wouldn’t feel lost to the cold embrace of the ghosts who haunt him. Always comfort Chenle after he and their dad had another fight. Always go to every one of Jisung’s dance showcases because their dad wouldn’t.

Jaemin doesn’t know who he is if he’s not caring for his brothers. When they get back from the crematorium, his father’s ashes held gently in Jeno’s hands even though Jaemin knows he could shatter the urn without breaking a sweat, Jaemin starts cooking lunch. He goes for something light and easy that all the brothers can stomach and makes ramen.

Jeno winces as he does it, but Jaemin pretends not to notice. “We’ll have the funeral after lunch, okay?” He says casually. Jeno sighs but nods. Jaemin sees the spoon he’d laid against the side of the pot start moving on his own and feels his heart twinge a little. “Thank you, hyung,” he murmurs respectfully. He misses his brother so much it hurts. Instead of dealing with that he grabs a pan to start frying vegetables.

Their lunch is simple and easy to prepare so it’s done in less than thirty minutes as Jaemin hollers for his brothers to get their asses downstairs to eat. Jeno winces when he’s done. “I would’ve gone and got them,” his brother says, pained. Jaemin ignores him.

Donghyuck gets to the table first much more sober than he was earlier and noticeably more jumpy. “How are you, Hyuck?” Jaemin asks as he spoons a large portion of rice and vegetables into his brother’s bowl. Donghyuck’s eyes track something behind Jaemin’s back for a long moment.

He gulps when he responds, “I’m fine,” even though Jaemin can see how badly he’s shaking. Jeno frowns and hugs him around the shoulders in both comfort and forgiveness for the slight against him earlier. Donghyuck droops bonelessly against their leader’s shoulder. Jaemin hands Jeno his bowl as they share worried looks above Donghyuck’s head.

They’re unable to say anything when Jisung walks into the kitchen. He’s wearing the sweats he usually wears to dance in, and he’s slightly out of breath. “Feel better Jisungie?” Jaemin checks. Dance has always been how Jisung regulated his emotions from the moment any of them could remember.

Being in a family where everyone was extraordinary, and you were not was exhausting. Mark had spent a while begging their dad to allow Jisung to train with them in hand-to-hand combat. Their dad had refused every time. Mark, barely five years old and missing two front teeth, had gotten the maddest Jaemin had ever seen him. He’d pitched a fit, wailing about the unfairness and begging their dad to stop excluding their brother, all the while sobbing about the unfairness of it all.

Jaemin hadn’t seen him for a solid week afterward. Mark had come back quiet and withdrawn so pale Donghyuck had screamed because he thought he was dead. He’d never gone against their dad again. He’d never told them what had happened no matter how much Donghyuck tried to annoy it out of him.

Instead one night before curfew Mark had gone into their massive library and searched for good activities to pass the time. He’d shown the book to the other kids the next day during a break in training Jaemin remembers. He can picture himself, chubby hands pointing at the camera in the picture in excitement, as Mark tells them about the different things people did to pass the time.

Right after dinner that night Mark had pulled Jisung off to the side. Jisung had started dancing not long after. Neither of them had ever confirmed Mark was who introduced Jisung to dancing, but Jaemin had always suspected.

“I do, hyung,” Jisung responds quietly settling onto the stool next to Donghyuck and murmuring his thanks as Jaemin passes him his food. Chenle comes down the stairs then tired eyes taking note of all his siblings.

“Did you take a nap, Chenle-ah?” Jeno questions. Chenle bobs his head, and Jaemin tries not to let how jealous he is show on his face. God, he’s so tired. Chenle accepts his food with no fight this time and starts in on it immediately.

Jaemin starts doing the dishes as his brothers eat by habit. He’s stopped by Jeno getting up and forcibly dragging him to the table. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a meal together. Let’s at least try to enjoy it,” their leader says. Jaemin hums and doesn’t point out that they’ll never be able to have dinner with all of them together again.

He eats his noodles slowly, not truly tasting anything, as his brothers quietly chatter around him. Slowly their spoons stop moving and their bowls empty, but they still don’t get up. A funeral feels too real, and privately Jaemin feels as though it’s a respect their father does not deserve.

Renjun had never had a funeral; their dad said he didn’t deserve one for his blatant disrespect. Instead, their father had hung a portrait above the mantle of Renjun. Despite sharing the same features it looked nothing like the boy himself. His eyes were too cold, and his lips weren’t titled upwards in his usual small smile. Jaemin hated that stupid painting so much.

In contrast, Mark had been allowed to have a funeral. A horrifically somber affair of his siblings screaming themselves hoarse with their wails of grief. Their dad had allowed Mark to have a statue engraving the boy’s name and “May the darkness within you find peace in the light,” below a metal sculpture of the boy in his academy uniform. Jaemin hated the statue, but not more than Donghyuck did.

Donghyuck had screamed at their father for the words on the bottom, for commissioning a statue of his son in the attire he’d died in and not his everyday wear, and had demanded to know how many of them had to die for their father’s stupid quest before he finally gave up on it.

Their father had locked him in the mausoleum for three months. It was the first time Jaemin fully realized their father did not care if they died. He’d suspected it when Renjun had gone missing, and he’d started to believe it when Mark died, but he’d never fully grasped it until Jeno had pried the mausoleum doors open after months of begging their dad to tell them where Donghyuck was.

The fifteen-year-old had been slumped against the door, his fingers bloody from scratching at the walls, and absolutely terrified. “He’s going to kill us all,” Donghyuck had whispered. “He killed me.” Jaemin had begged for more information, but the boy had no more to offer. Jeno and Jaemin had carried him into Jaemin’s room and treated his wounds. After they’d gotten the boy to sleep in Jaemin’s bed Jaemin had told Jeno that they had to leave. Jeno had argued about the money, the rent, and jobs, but Jaemin wouldn’t budge.

“He’s going to kill us, Jeno,” he’d said confidently. “He’ll kill us all, and I’m not going to just sit back and wait to see whose next.” Jeno had gulped and looked down at Donghyuck who was absolutely covered in scratches from the dead. He hadn’t protested any further.

Instead, he’d asked to make a plan. They needed to save up money, find jobs, and a place to stay, and then Jaemin would rumor their father into letting them leave. Jaemin had agreed almost immediately. Donghyuck had taken longer to get on board.

Jaemin spent days just hugging his brother and begging into his shoulders that he couldn’t lose him too. Losing another brother would destroy Jaemin. It had taken their father threatening to lock Donghyuck in the mausoleum again after a careless comment he’d made at dinner to get his brother to agree. Jaemin hates his father so much that even now when they’re about to scatter his ashes to the wind he fantasizes about rumoring the man into walking off of a cliff.

Jaemin had gone to a convenience store he knew was hiring downtown to rumor them into letting Jeno work there. Most places in their area wouldn’t hire a fifteen-year-old with no degree so Jaemin was forced into desperate measures. He’d rumored the nice old lady who ran the gas station into giving him his job and then felt so guilty about it he cried. The last person he rumored was the manager at the music store Donghyuck works at.

He’d also rumored his father into giving them money. He felt the least remorse about that one. They saved up money for about two months before Jaemin got to look his bastard of a father in his eyes and force him into giving them their freedom.

As a kid Jaemin had tried to rumor their father only once. He’d planned to rumor him into being nicer. Jaemin had barely gotten the words, “I heard,” out of his mouth before his father had slapped him across the face so hard he saw stars. Their father didn’t normally hit them so directly, he was much more creative and cruel in his punishments, so Jaemin was so taken off guard when this happened he just turned and ran out of the room. He won’t let that happen this time.

He’d opened his dad’s office and before the man could demand to know what the hell had gotten into Jaemin he’d already started, “I heard a rumor,” he’d said with his power literally reverberating through his vocal cords, “that you let us move out.” His father’s eyes had glazed over, but Jaemin wasn’t finished. “I heard a rumor that you stop training us.” He’d waited to make sure his power had taken effect. They were supposed to start training in exactly five minutes.

“Number Three?” His father had questioned when he saw Jaemin standing in his office. “What are you doing here?” Jaemin waited for his father to say something about training but he didn’t. The only thing he did was stare at his son in confusion.

“Nothing Dad,” Jaemin had whispered as he fled to tell Jeno the news. The last person Jaemin rumored was their landlord. He’d have never let them move in without Jaemin’s persuasion and wanted to charge them so much money for the rent it was almost laughable. Jaemin made it manageable.

The day of them finally moving out came quickly. Donghyuck had gone to retrieve Chenle and Jaemin had dragged Jisung into his bedroom.

“What’s going on?” Chenle had complained when he saw the serious expressions on his older brothers’ faces. Donghyuck had grimaced at his brothers so Jeno had sighed and taken charge.

“We’re moving out. We can come back here if you leave anything so don’t stress too much about packing,” Jeno’s words were deceptually casual. If you didn’t know him you wouldn't be able to tell how nervous he was. Chenle and Jisung had made shocked eye contact.

“Can we…Can we have a moment to talk about this? Alone,” Chenle had asked pointedly. Jaemin had protested, but Jeno had dragged his brothers out of the room anyway. It took at least three hours for Chenle and Jisung to emerge from the room both with tear tracks on their faces. When they finally did so they were holding hands. “We…we can’t move out with you, hyungs,” Chenle had said softly.

“It’s okay Chenle. Dad won’t care, I rumored him,” Jaemin had promised. Chenle sighed.

“It’s not that. We can’t…we can’t make you guys take care of us. You guys are fifteen…” Chenle was choosing his words carefully, but he was speaking with conviction.

“It’s okay. We can take care of you, I swear,” Jaemin had promised with tears brimming in his eyes. Jisung bit his lips as the fighting started.

“Seriously, we’ll be okay. We can deal with it,” Donghyuck had promised, but his words were slurred. Chenle had sighed deeply dragging a hand down his face.

“Hyung, you’re not even sober. We can’t do this. The academy has been okay for the last few weeks; Jisung and I will be fine to stay. You won’t have the money to feed all of us, and you probably don’t have the space.” Chenle’s words were soft as if that would lessen the blow.

Jeno’s eyes had filled with tears as well. “We can figure it out. Jaemin, Donghuck, and I can share a room, and you two can have your own. We can make it work.” Jisung had frowned.

“Don’t you see how unfair to you that would be? How are you even expecting to afford food for all of us?” Jisung wasn’t looking at any of them, but his words were sure.

“We’ve got jobs. We can do it,” Donghyuck had sworn. Chenle shook Jisung’s hands off of his and let them curl into fists.

“Don’t you get it? You can’t. You can’t make this work. It’ll never work. Leave us if you must but don’t drag us into this doomed plan.” Chenle had glared at each of his brothers with tears on his cheeks.

Jeno tried again, “Chenle…we promise,” Jisung cut him off though.

“Hyung…it’ll never work. Please stop fighting and just accept what we all know.” Jisung had wrapped his arms around himself in lieu of Chenle’s comfort. Tears slowly started to fall down Jaemin’s cheeks.

“Guys,” he’d started but Chenle had cut him off.

“No,” he’d said quietly but sternly. Helplessly Jaemin had turned to Donghyuck and Jeno, but they’d both shrugged. He felt his resolve strengthen. He hadn’t rumored one of his siblings in years, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still capable of it.

“I heard a rumor,” he started as he heard his siblings gasp around him. Jaemin didn’t have time to finish his sentence before Chenle took the knife off the thigh holster he had on and threw it straight at him. Chenle never missed. Jaemin was left choking on his own blood as his brothers exclaimed in alarm.

“I’m sorry!” He could hear Chenle scream in the background. “I’m so sorry. I just didn’t want him to…” He trailed off as Jisung grabbed his shoulder.

“I’m going to take you to Mom, okay Jaemin? You’ll be alright. You’re fine,” Jeno had frantically tried to comfort as Donghyuck’s hands fruitlessly tried to staunch the bleeding. Jeno had picked him up bridal style, and Donghyuck took his own shirt off to apply pressure to Jaemin’s wound. Jaemin remembered at the time thinking it was ironic that the team’s medic needed medical attention.

Their mom had stitched Jaemin’s throat up, but he hadn’t been able to talk for six months. Chenle had gone to the infirmary, crying so hard he could barely breathe, to apologize to Jaemin.

“I’m so sorry, hyung,” he’d sobbed. “We’ll move out with you, I promise. I’m so sorry.” He held Jaemin’s hand as he cried. Their other brothers had watched the two closely. Jaemin had brought his and Chenle’s joined hands to his mouth to tenderly kiss his brother’s knuckles which just made Chenle cry more. He’d then gently untangled their hands to grab the notebook resting on his bedside table.

He’d flipped to a clean page and wrote, ‘It’s okay. You don’t need to come with us. I only want you guys to come if you truly want to and you don’t. I’m sorry I didn’t respect that before.’ Chenle had spent a while sobbing afterward.

Despite not being fully healed the second Mom had declared Jaemin was able to leave the infirmary he, Donghyuck, and Jeno moved out. Chenle and Jisung had hugged them for an hour as their older brothers whispered promises of visiting and protection in their hair.

After a while, Donghyuck gently untangled himself from Jisung to hold his face in his hands. “Jisung-ah, if anything happens. If you’re scared for any reason, or if you’re lonely, hell if you just want Jaemin’s cooking swear to me you’ll come over. No matter the time,” Donghyuck was more sober than he’d been in days, and it had startled Jisung so much he’d agreed immediately.

“Of course, hyung,” he’d said while bringing his own hands up to cover Donghyuck’s. Next to Jisung the other brothers untangle themselves from Chenle although Jaemin had kept close hold of his hands.

“That goes for you too, okay Chenle? No matter what happens or where we are we’re you’re older brothers. You’re our first priority,” Jeno had said intensely. Chenle had closed his eyes to try to stop the tears.

“I know, hyung,” he’d sworn.

Jaemin grabs onto Chenle’s hand as they walk to Mark’s statue after he shakes off the memory. Chenle squeezes tightly so Jaemin leans over to drop a kiss onto his brother’s hair. After they all gather together, umbrellas held tightly to warn off the heavy rain, Jeno starts.

“Our father was a…complicated man,” Jeno starts and has to trail off to grimace when Donghyuck snorts.

Chenle scowls. “He was a bad person and a worse father. The world’s better off without him, and I’m glad he’s dead.”

“Chenle-” Jaemin interrupts gently, but Chenle breaks apart their hands and scoffs.

“My name is Number Two because our father couldn’t even be bothered to give us real names; he made Mom do it! Isn’t that right Number Three?” He demands. Jaemin scowls.

“Of course it is. I just don’t think he’s worth wasting breath over,” he hisses. Chenle scowls and shoves him so Jaemin grabs him, and they start grappling. They’re stopped from fighting further when the ground starts shaking and the sky ripples with color.

“Oh, what the fuck is that?” Jisung questions. Jeno pushes all of his siblings behind him as the ripple continues to grow.

Donghyuck gapes at the sky before asking, “Does anyone else see tiny little Renjun? Or is it just me?” Jisung sets a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I see him too,” he assures. All of them start screaming when they see the boy start falling from the hole in the sky.

“Catch me, you idiots!” He shrieks.

Jeno dashes forward murmuring, “Definitely Renjun,” right before getting squashed by the boy. Donghyuck repeats his previous question about ensuring everyone can see Renjun, and Jisung reassures him once again. Jaemin, in the meantime, walks closer to Renjun. He doesn’t get super close to the boy in an effort to avoid startling him but starts cataloging him from a distance.

“What day is it?” Renjun demands.

Jaemin frowns. “It’s December 6th. You’ve been missing and presumed dead for four years.” Jaemin tries to keep the swell of emotions choking him out of his voice, but he’s not sure how well he succeeds.

“No, I was trying…I was trying to go back to before…Before that stupid dinner,” Renjun insists stubbornly, and Jaemin’s heart twinges as he thinks about the night Renjun went missing. Renjun’s head swerves as he frantically starts looking around, and he deflates as he catches sight of Mark’s statue.

“So he already…” He trails off, but Jeno sees where Renjun is looking.

“He uh…he died on a mission. When he was sixteen. About two years after you left,” he says faintly. “Dad put up that memorial not long after.”

No one says anything for a minute. Jaemin uses the moment of silence to take in his brother. He’s skinnier than he was when they were younger, a little taller, and cheeks hollow from missing meals. He’s not wearing the academy uniform he was when he went missing, and it makes it hard for Jaemin to catalog all his injuries. Still, he knows his brothers enough to know when something is wrong.

“Where is Dad?” Renjun finally asks.

Jeno grimaces bitterly at the urn he’s holding. “Uh here. He had a heart attack so I guess he really did have one after all.” He winces as his joke falls flat.

During this Jaemin creeps closer to his missing brother and observes him more carefully. Now that he’s closer he can see all the scrapes and bruises Renjun’s clothes don’t hide and truly take in how malnourished and exhausted his brother is. He tells Renjun all of this bluntly before ignoring his protests and herding him into the house.

He lets Mom help Renjun take a bath while he heats up some of the soup he made for breakfast this morning. He’s hoping it’ll be light enough for his brother’s malnourished body to handle. Mom guides Renjun back into the room with a hand on his bicep. She’d given Renjun some of Chenle’s clothes in hopes the brother closest to his height would be a similar size, but the clothes hang off Renjun’s frame.

Jaemin settles the soup in front of his brother and watches carefully as he eats not protesting as he doesn’t finish the bowl. Instead, he waves their mother off and gently guides Renjun’s arms over his shoulder to help him go to bed. He foregoes Renjun’s own room, coated in dust from years of the siblings being unable to enter it, and instead settles him in Jaemin’s own bed. Jaemin’s room at the academy is used the most out of the older siblings for the sheer fact that Jaemin comes over to cook for Jisung and Chenle once a week.

After Renjun passes out on Jaemin’s bed the boy slides down beside it and just cries. He cries for the missing years, the elation of his brother being alive, and the ache of grieving for a boy who just needed to be searched for. He cries like he hasn’t since Mark’s funeral. It takes him a while to calm down, but when he finally does he ducks into the bathroom to clean his face.

He walks down the stairs and sighs as he sighs his brothers gathered in their kitchen again. Jeno perks up when he sees him and thankfully doesn’t comment on his brother’s puffy eyes. “How is he?” He asks nervously. Jaemin sighs as he slumps onto the stool next to his brother.

“Asleep. He was too tired for me to ask anything so I just got him fed and put him in my bed.” Jaemin’s words cause a silence to settle over the brothers until he hears quiet sniffling. “C’mere Jisungie,” he calls while pulling his youngest brother into his arms. Jisung settles his head on his brother's shoulder and just cries. There’s not anything else to do.

it's been repeating over and over again; the ending that came before my eyes

GENRE: gen, tua au, angst, hurt/comfort

SUMMARY: Renjun is thirteen when the world ends around him. He's seventeen when he tries to save it. Title from 그냥 괴물을 살려두면 안 되는 걸까 (Can’t We Just Leave The Monster Alive?) by TXT

WARNINGS: temporary character death, apocalypse, child abuse, child neglect, grief, alcoholism, underage drinking, minor emetophobia

Chapter 2

Jeno’s week starts with his dad dying. It doesn’t get better from there. He gets the call at three a.m. on Sunday. His first coherent thought of the day is, ‘Oh God, I hope Chenle didn’t finally snap and kill the man.’ Their mom is who calls, as distant and robotic but polite as always, starting the call by asking how Jeno’s day is going. 

“Mom…It’s three a.m. I was asleep,” he groggily explains. 

His mom hums in confusion. “Asleep in the morning?” She questions and then moves on before Jeno can respond. “I’m afraid I have bad news sweetie. Your father has passed away.” Her tone is still light and airy as though she isn’t delivering life-changing news to her son. 

Jeno’s world ends for a moment. 

Jeno’s dad, even now that Jeno is almost an adult who doesn’t even live with him, has more control over Jeno’s life than he should. He’d made him into the leader against Jeno’s will, always blaming his siblings' failures on him, and pitting his children against each other from a young age. 

His father treated Jeno like a semi-successful science experiment. Jeno wasn’t like Jaemin or Renjun who would buck up against their dad in argument, but he wasn’t like Mark who would destroy himself for their father either. 

Jeno was just Jeno. Not the best soldier but a good one. Not the best leader but a protective one. Not the best brother but a loving one. 

He comes back to himself to his mother’s gentle voice in his ear. “Jeno-ah, are you still there?” He swallows painfully. The man who ruined his life is dead. His father is dead. 

“Yeah Mom; I’m here. What happened?” His mom pauses and hums a little. 

“What happened with what, dear?” Jeno winces. Their mother has seemed like her hardware is degrading for a few years now, but Jeno does not live with her and hasn’t in years. It’s easy to ignore when it’s not in his face. Listening to her fail to have a conversation makes him note to bring it up to Jaemin. 

“What happened to Dad?” His tone is more patient than he really feels. 

“Oh, your father…he had a heart attack. He passed in his sleep about an hour ago. I’m calling you because he wanted you to come back and deal with his funeral.” Jeno takes a moment to silently cuss his dad out in his head and be thankful Chenle hadn’t committed murder. 

“Okay, Mom. I’ll be over in about an hour after I get Jaemin and Donghyuck up. How are Chenle and Jisung holding up?” He truthfully cares much more about how his brothers are feeling than he does that his dad is dead. 

“Holding up with what?” Jeno inhales for four counts and exhales for five. Mark had taught him the trick after he’d bitten his tongue so bad he’d made it bleed trying to ignore Donghyuck and Jaemin fighting for the nth time as kids. 

“How are Chenle and Jisung doing with Dad’s death?” His voice is notably more strained than it was a few minutes ago, but his mom doesn’t notice. 

“Oh, they don’t know yet. I’m not sure where they are…Your father wanted you to inform them as the leader.” Jeno fervently hopes his brothers are both still asleep, and then finally thanks his mom and hangs up. He takes a moment to get himself together before going to his brothers. His hands are shaking. He tries to ignore it. 

He decides to wake up Jaemin first. He opens his brother’s door and blinks at the mess. His brothers’ closet seems to have exploded on his bedroom floor. Jeno hesitantly steps over the piles of Jaemin’s close and sighs as he gets a good look at his brother. 

There are bags under Jaemin’s eyes, and he’d fallen asleep with his phone in his hand. He’d had a late shift at the gas station and only gotten home around two hours ago. Jeno really hates having to wake him up, but it can’t be helped. 

He shoves his brother lightly and flinches as Jaemin bolts upright with his fists clenched. Jeno is just grateful he didn’t punch him this time. “What the fuck?” Jaemin croaks. Jeno grimaces. 

“Dad’s dead. We need to be back at the house to plan the funeral. You have an hour.” Jaemin blinks incredulously at him, but Jeno has already started walking to the door. He mentally prepares himself for the hell that is Donghyuck’s room. 

It’s still worse than he expects. The brothers all respect their individual spaces well enough, but people still go into Jaemin and Jeno’s rooms. No one goes into Donghyuck’s. 

The first thing Jeno does in Donghyuck’s room is knock over his stack of tarot cards that subtly get righted before they can topple to the floor. “Thank you, hyung,” he murmurs on his way to Donghyuck’s bed. The boy somehow looks even worse than Jaemin does. His hands are splayed out with the tattoos Mark had pitched a fit about on clear display. His eyeliner is smeared around his eyes like he’s been crying again, he smells like a bar, and he fell asleep in the clothes he usually wears to parties. All in all, he looks like a disaster.

Jeno tries to think about the best way to wake him up. Last time he’d woken his brother up quietly Donghyuck had briefly mistook him as Mark, and they’d both cried. Last time he woke him up loudly Donghyuck had a panic attack. 

In the end, he steals Jaemin’s signature move. He annoys him into wakefulness. First, he steals his brother's comforter and then dumps it onto his face before removing it again. Donghyuck starts groaning and Jeno briefly celebrates his success before stealing the blanket Donghyuck is clutching. Donghyuck yanks on it and turns over in his quest to keep it, but Jeno plays dirty and uses his super strength so Donghyuck’s blanket is in his arms soon enough. He keeps going until Donghyuck is left shivering on his bed. 

“Jeno. I’m going to kill you,” he promises into his mattress. Jeno hesitates to tell Donghyuck why he woke him up. Donghyuck is the reason they don’t live with their father anymore; why Jaemin rumored their father into letting them move out at fifteen. 

He still deserves to know their father is dead. “We need to go back the manner. Dad is…He died an hour ago.” Donghyuck freezes. The blankets that were folding themselves in the background freeze. 

“Don’t fucking joke about that,” Donghyuck warns. Jeno frowns, rightfully offended. 

“You know I wouldn’t joke about something like this. Mom called me like fifteen minutes ago.” Jeno’s tone isn’t harsh, but his face must show his displeasure because Donghyuck looks guilty. 

“You’re right. You’re right; I’m sorry. So…the bastard is finally dead, huh? All it took was him killing two of us.” Donghyuck raises his hands to his face to hide the tears building in his eyes. 

Jeno hesitates for a moment, but he has to ask. “You’ve still…You’ve still never seen Renjun right?” Donghyuck shakes his head. 

“No. Neither has Mark hyung. We’ve checked but…” But if he moved on before Donghyuck found him they’ll never know. Jeno swallows bile. 

“Okay, sorry to ask. Can you get ready in about an hour? Chenle and Jisung don’t know yet, and I want to tell them as soon as I can.” Jeno starts biting his nails as he waits for Donghyuck's response. 

“Wait, they don’t know? Why didn’t Mom tell them?” His brother has started getting up and grabbing clothes to stuff into a suitcase as he talks. 

“She’s not…she’s not doing too well. She couldn’t follow our conversation at all.” Donghyuck has always been closer to their mother than Jeno himself which shows as he pauses to swallow harshly. 

“Oh…okay. I’ll be out soon, leader. Go pack your own shit.” He’s joking, but Jeno is too nice to point out how badly it falls flat. Instead, he nods and does as told. 

He decides to forgo a shower and instead just dumps all of his toiletries into the top of his suitcase. He thinks it’s probably for the best when he walks into the living room and sees Donghyuck in last night's makeup and Jaemin in the clothes he wore to work. 

They look like a mess. 

“Ready to go bury our dad?” Jaemin asks drily. Jeno doesn’t dignify him with a response. 

☂︎☂︎☂︎

In a series of incredibly bad decisions Donghyuck drives them. They live about ten minutes from the manor they grew up in, still too close for Donghyuck and too far for Jaemin, but they make it in five. Jaemin’s so nauseous after the trip his brothers have to half-carry him into the house. Their mom opens the door after they ring the doorbell and smiles in confusion when she sees them. 

“Hi, babies. Why are you here?” Jeno winces. 

“You called me an hour ago Mom. We’re here about Dad.” Their mom’s face doesn’t change, and they all sigh deciding to just walk in without trying to make her understand. 

“Should we just wait for the kids to wake up on their own?” Jaemin wonders, but Donghyuck shakes his head. 

“That would piss them off,” he advises, and Jaemin frowns and nods. 

“Okay, in that case, I’m going to make breakfast.” Jeno and Donghyuck grimace at each other behind Jaemin’s back. Jeno gains five pounds every time Jaemin is stressed out. Sure enough, he sighs as he sees his brother start preparing a meal more fit for fifteen than five. 

“I’ll go tell them. Do you want to come with me?” Jeno subtly begs for help with his eyes, but Donghyuck expertly ignores it. 

“I’m going to raid Dad’s office and also his bar,” he announces. Jeno has half a mind to stop him but knows realistically it would help none. Instead, he heads to Chenle’s room. 

As expected it’s empty. He figured it was best to at least check first. He checks Jisung’s room next and snorts as he sees his brothers. They must’ve been up playing games because Chenle’s 3DS is lying open on a Mario level. Jeno quietly picks it up, saves the game, and turns the console off before trying to figure out which brother to wake up first. Jisung’s arm is splayed across Chenle’s face obstructing his breathing, and Chenle’s foot is in Jisung’s ribs. They look extremely uncomfortable.

He decides to shove Chenle so he knocks into Jisung which successfully wakes his siblings up. Chenle spends a good minute cursing so badly their dad would’ve had his mouth washed out with soap before noticing Jeno. 

“Hyung?” He questions while rubbing his eyes as if to double-check check his brother is actually there in the room. 

“Hey, Chenle. I have some…news. When Jisung is up I’ll tell you,” Jeno promises. Jisung, in response to hearing his name, groans and rolls over. Chenle snickers and starts shoving him and poking him until he sits up to glare at them both. 

“What?” He grounds out. 

“Mom called me at about three a.m. to tell me Dad passed away,” Jeno explains quietly. Jisung pales, and Chenle’s eyes grow wide. 

“You’re fucking kidding,” Chenle protests, but Jeno shakes his head. 

“Swear on my life,” he does the stupid swear they made up as kids just to prove it. Chenle stumbles out of bed and ignores his brothers calling after him. Jeno winces as he hears retching. 

Jisung buries his head in his hands and slowly starts hiccupping. Jeno walks over and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Do you want me to stay with you for a bit?” He questions, but Jisung shakes his head. 

“No, I’d rather be alone. Thank you though.” Jeno ruffles Jisung’s hair and stands up to leave. 

“Jaemin’s making breakfast in the kitchen whenever you guys are ready.” He winces as he hears Chenle retch again. 

“Uh, yeah. We’ll come out soon, hyung,” Jisung says unconvincingly. 

☂︎ ☂︎☂︎

Jeno has to pause to stare in shock at the sheer volume of food decorating the kitchen when he walks back in. Jaemin is somehow still cooking. Jeno takes a moment to curse Donghyuck for leaving him alone with this mess. 

“Hey, Jaemin…Thank you for cooking for all of us. It’ll be a great help throughout the week, but I think this is enough. We don’t want it to spoil.” Jaemin stirs more aggressively at Jeno’s words. 

“Well, I figure now that Dad is dead Chenle and Jisung will finally move in with us, and this way we’ll have enough food for all of us,” he says tersely. Jeno sighs. 

“I want them to move in too believe me…but don’t get mad if they don’t okay?” One of the worst fights the siblings had ever had was when Chenle and Jisung had refused to move out with the others. 

Donghyuck couldn’t stay any longer, and his brothers wouldn’t abandon him; Chenle and Jisung hadn’t wanted to force their fifteen-year-old siblings to raise them. 

Jaemin was so desperate he tried to rumor them to come with everyone. Chenle had thrown a knife and damaged his vocal cords so badly that he couldn’t speak for six months. 

In the end, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and Jeno had moved out, and Chenle and Jisung had stayed behind. Jeno really doesn’t want to repeat that fight. The spoon Jaemin is holding bends from the force of his grip. 

Just then Donghyuck crashes, literally, into the kitchen with at least three bottles of vodka in his hands and horrifically drunk. 

“Hyuck, it is…barely five in the morning,” Jeno says long-suffering. 

“You sound like Mark hyung,” Donghyuck says in annoyance because he’s too drunk to realize the effect that will have. Jeno’s face loses its color, and Jaemin turns to slap him upside the head. 

“Donghyuck!” Jaemin scolds. “Go drink some water and sober up a bit. After you finish a glass come eat so you can actually act like a human being.” Donghyuck slouches miserably over the kitchen island but does as told. 

He’s quiet as he sobers up before saying, “I’m sorry, Jeno. That was uncalled for.” Jeno sighs quietly. Donghyuck used to get into giant fights with Mark (and if the one-sided screaming Jeno occasionally hears is any indication still does) about his drinking. 

Before Mark died the others were more willing to look the other way and trust the eldest to handle it, but after he passed Jeno started trying to take the role of getting his brother sober. Today wasn’t the first time Donghyuck had thrown that particular line in his face and it wouldn’t be the last, but it still hurt. 

Jeno drags a hand down his face. “It’s fine Donghyuck. Eat your Bugeoguk; Jaemin made it just for you because he knows you have a hangover.” Donghyuck nods and focuses on his soup. 

Eventually, both Chenle and Jisung get down the stairs and slump on the island with the other siblings. Jisung starts on his eggs immediately, but Chenle won’t eat which causes Jaemin to fuss over him for at least five minutes. Chenle bears it with all the grace of a teenage boy which is to say none at all. 

“At least eat some rice,” Jaemin pleads, and only then does Chenle relent. Privately Jeno figures it’s likely because Chenle is afraid Jaemin will rumor him even though the other boy never would. 

Jaemin rarely uses his powers anymore. 

As a kid, he liked them well enough constantly getting his siblings to give him their cookies and convincing their dad to let him leave the house, but as he became a teenager he used it less and less. After Chenle had damaged his vocal chords he’d pretty much retired his powers unless the circumstances called for it. 

Donghyuck, finally mostly sober, groans into his soup. “What’s our plans with Dad? I don’t want him buried near Mark hyung.” As if in response a paper towel starts roughly cleaning a long-suffering Donghyuck’s face

“We could cremate him? We also probably need to call the authorities.” Jaemin offers from where he’s aggressively started doing the dishes. Jeno walks over and takes over by aggressively shoving a plate into his brother’s hand and settling him at the kitchen island with their little brothers. 

Jaemin pouts but doesn’t protest. 

Chenle hums. “Fuck you’re right; I’ll call in a minute. Also doesn’t cremation take a while?” He talks with his mouth full and is then subject to the same aggressive face-cleaning Donghyuck had to endure. He bears it with much less grace. 

“Are you sure Chenle? We can handle it. And you’re right it can, but…” Donghyuck stares at Jaemin who sets his chopsticks down and sighs. Jeno pauses from where he’s scrubbing a particularly dirty plate. 

Chenle looks up at the silence and grimaces at the awkward eye contact between his brothers. “I’m going to go call the authorities,” he announces as he slips off his stool and out the door.

Jaemin finally responds to Donghyuck’s words. “Okay, we’ll get him cremated. Does anyone want to come with Jeno and I?” Jeno doesn’t protest his inclusion. Donghyuck frowns and makes eye contact with Jisung. 

“We’ll stay here if that’s okay?” Jisung questions. Jaemin smiles at him, a bit fake but still fond, and tugs on his cheeks while cooing. 

“Of course, it’s okay Jisungie,” he says in a pitch so much higher than his normal register it makes Jeno’s ears ring a bit. 

“Okay, we’ll head out after we deal with the authorities. I’m going to try to finish the dishes before they get here,” Jeno promises. Donghyuck tilts his head as he listens to something none of the others can hear. 

“Mark hyung says he’ll clean up. Go ahead and get prepared for the cops.” Donghyuck waves his hand as if to physically wake them off, but Jeno hesitates. 

“Are you…sure? I don’t mind cleaning.” He feels bad making Mark, who didn’t make the mess or eat the meal, clean up. Donghyuck grimaces. 

“I’m sure.” Jeno believes him. Once when Mark was off doing whatever he did when he wasn’t hanging around Donghyuck the boy had confessed Mark felt afloat and like he’d lost his purpose. Mark had taken care of them for as long as Jeno could remember, and he suddenly no longer could. Donghyuck had asked Jeno and Jaemin to let Mark take care of the little things he still could like making their bed or doing the dishes. 

Jeno nods at Donghyuck and says, “Thank you, hyung.” Jaemin stands up and cracks his back so loudly that Jeno winces. “I’m going to wash my face” he declares. Jeno nods him. 

Donghyuck calls out, “Do you need a makeup wipe?”, but Jaemin waves him off. Jisung also gets up and quietly sets his plate in the sink before ducking out of the room. Jeno and Donghyuck grimace at each other. 

“What a fucking morning,” Donghyuck grumbles as he slumps back over the island. 

Luckily handling the police doesn’t take long. Their dad was old and had documented heart problems so it’s a pretty clear-cut case. Soon enough Jaemin and Jeno are heading out to the crematorium. They’d ask their other siblings if they’d like to go but been turned down. 

Jaemin had demanded Jeno drive, and Jeno had let him. Jaemin will be too unsettled after they leave to drive anyway. Jeno drives better than Donghyuck which is basically just not heinously breaking road laws, but Jaemin is still nauseous when they get there. 

At this point, Jeno will consider the day a win if Jaemin doesn’t puke in the car. They walk into the crematorium together and grimace at the receptionist halfway asleep at the desk. Jaemin doesn’t waste any time. 

“I heard a rumor,” he starts, his voice as strong as it was when he was The Rumor, “that you cremate our father immediately.” The man’s eyes cloud over and he gets up to change the order of the cremations. Jaemin slumps in the chair as they wait. Jeno tries to pass the time playing games on his phone. Jaemin just tucks his knees to his chest and ignores the world. 

Time passes by in a stony silence. Eventually, an employee walks out. He squints at them suspiciously, likely knowing the rearranging of the cremation times is their fault, but he still holds the urn out to them. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he says firmly. Jeno swallows thickly and holds their dad’s ashes tightly. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs tersely. Jaemin’s legs shake as they get up, but he walks to the car on his own. 

“Ready for the funeral?” He asks drily. Jeno sighs and starts to drive back to the manor.

it's been repeating over and over again; the ending that came before my eyes

GENRE: gen, tua au, angst, hurt/comfort

SUMMARY: Renjun is thirteen when the world ends around him. He's seventeen when he tries to save it. Title from 그냥 괴물을 살려두면 안 되는 걸까 (Can’t We Just Leave The Monster Alive?) by TXT

WARNINGS: temporary character death, apocalypse, child abuse, child neglect, grief, alcoholism

Chapter 1

Renjun is thirteen when he jumps forward in time. He gets into an argument with his dad the same as any other day and sees the promise of punishment in his eyes. He’s done dealing with it. He turns and runs out the door and ignores his siblings' call of his name at his back. With any luck he’ll be able to return to before he even had his stupid fight with Dad and rub it in the bastard’s face.

He jumps forward for the first time and laughs in delighted glee when he realizes he’s done it. The shops around him have changed and the style of dress is different. He does it again and again until he lands in the rubble of his childhood home with acidic air burning his mouth and ash falling in his hair. 

He looks around desperately for some sign of life and doesn’t see any. He pulls his fists towards his chest and like so many times before his powers sputter out around him. He’s completely exhausted himself. He tries over and over again before he finally gives up for the night. 

Instead, he decides to start his search for other people again and throws up when he finds them. His siblings’ are older, more filled out, and taller in their teen years than they were when Renjun left, but he recognizes them all the same. Their bodies are coated in blood. His old bastard of a father had warned him against time travel, and he guesses the old man was right. 

Renjun checks his brothers’ pulses over and over again just in case but eventually reality sets in. He digs his siblings' graves himself with slow care and love in every push during the first and second weeks of his hell trip to the future. 

The first brother Renjun buries, on the third day of being stranded in the future, is Donghyuck. He pulls his brother out of the rubble as carefully as possible and sobs as he realizes he’d died trying to protect Jisung. He’s slumped over the boy with some type of sharp metal piercing his side and Jisung’s chest. Renjun spends longer than he’d admit sobbing over his desperate brother trying so hard to save his little brother, but there’s no one to tell. It seems even the animals have died out. 

Eventually, he gathers the strength to bury his brother. He has to stop himself from crying again as he sees the evidence of the years he’s missed. Donghyuck must’ve dyed rainbow streaks into his hair at some point because the faded color reflects in the harsh sun. He’s skinnier than Renjun would expect him to be and his hands are tattooed. There are smears of eyeliner around his eyes from where he must’ve cried before he died, and his clothes aren’t from the academy. Renjun barely recognizes him. 

He buries the other boy while crying over him until his throat aches and his face is itchy. He can’t keep going after him so he sits beside his brother's grave and desperately wishes he had Donghyuck’s power instead before chastising himself. Donghyuck’s power had never let him see who he desired, and there’s no reason for Renjun to believe it would work any better for him. 

The next day he buries Jeno and Jaemin and tries not to think about how they must’ve died holding hands. Jeno is heavier than Donghyuck, and Renjun exhausts himself all over again while dragging his brother’s body to the grave. He has to take about a day break in between moving Jeno’s body and Jaemin’s. In the meantime, he utters his remorse for separating them and for leaving them. It takes him a while before he’s able to move Jaemin but on the fifth day he gathers up his other brother, who is still too light even in death, and gently lays him to rest next to their other brother while reattaching their hands. 

The effects of time aren’t as apparent on Jeno and Jaemin as they were on Donghyuck, but they’re there nonetheless. Jaemin’s hair is a faded pink their dad must’ve had a fit when he saw, but he sports no new tattoos. Jeno looks almost the same with his black hair and plain workout clothes, but he’s changed subtly. The absence of his easy smile and the blankness of his expression ages him unsettlingly as well as the height he must’ve eventually gained.

He wastes time trying to memorize the strangeness of his brothers' new faces before he buries them as well. He’s crying as he does it and keeps missing with his shovel because his vision is so obstructed by tears, but he doesn’t give up until they’re completely buried. He sleeps on their grave and desperately hopes he wasn’t the one to kill them. 

When he gets to his baby brothers he has to stop. On the first day he’d gently moved Jisung’s body and laid him down next to Chenle. He’d closed both their eyes and placed a blanket he’d found over them like they were asleep. He can not imagine burying them. He lays down and holds their cold hands before crying for days. 

It takes him a week before he’s ready to bury his baby brothers. He keeps them together and leaves them wrapped in the blanket. He sobs until he literally can not. 

The only person left to bury is his older brother, but he can’t find Mark at first. He knows Mark and Mark would never leave his family especially not in a time of need so he looks around the academy tirelessly. He never finds his body.

At first, he childishly holds out hope his big brother is still alive. That he’ll come to help Renjun fix this. He pretends he’s in the library or locked away in the music room like always, and he’ll come get Renjun for dinner soon enough. 

He imagines eating with his brothers as Jaemin and Jeno quietly play a card game together, and Donghyuck makes obscene faces at Mark and himself until Mark snorts and gets them all scolded. He thinks of Jisung sitting quietly while Chenle scrapes his least favorite foods onto their youngest brother’s plate and he yearns . It’s worrying. It’s the only thing keeping Renjun going. 

He finds Mark’s destroyed memorial on day 106. He’d sworn never to go far so he could find Mark and has instead spent months scavenging for food and sleeping around the horrid remains of his home. It was all for nothing. His big brother died, and he wasn’t there.  For all Renjun knows Mark died looking for him right after he left. Every one of Renjun’s loved ones died without knowing what happened to him. He curls up in front of Mark’s memorial and cries until he pukes. 

It is the last time he cries in the hell known as the future. 

A day goes by laying on the statue.

Two. 

Three.

At first, he spends hours at a time desperately trying to bend time backward doing his best to let him go back to his life before but eventually he stops. He can barely spatial jump anymore much less time travel. 

Renjun is forced to leave his brother after the bottle of water he always has with him runs out. He walks across the world just trying to find other people. 

On day 208 he’s sure he’s the last one left alive.

On day 332 he starts planning his equations for how he’ll get back to his brothers. 

Renjun spends 1221 days writing equations. 

He spends hours at a time going over them again and again and again. He reworks them if he thinks they could be even a decimal off. 

And finally it pays off. 

Renjun laughs as he pulls his wrists to his chest for the first time in almost four years. 

He’s going home. 

☂︎☂︎☂︎

He realizes he may have gotten his calculations slightly wrong when he is about six feet in the air and free-falling from a storm of his own creation. Distantly he hears his siblings scream in terror and yells, “Catch me, you idiots!”

“Definitely Renjun,” Jeno mutters as he runs under him. Jeno does not catch Renjun. More so he acts as a crash pad for him. They both mutter and groan after Renjun flattens his brother. 

“What the hell?” Donghyuck asks. “Everyone else sees him too right?” Jisung lays a gentle hand on his shoulder and nods. 

“What day is it?” Renjun demands.

Jaemin frowns. “It’s December 6th. You’ve been missing and presumed dead for four years.” A chill settles around them as Renjun’s eyes bulge. 

“No, I was trying…I was trying to go back to before…Before that stupid dinner,” he insists stubbornly. His head swerves as he frantically starts looking around, and he deflates as he catches sight of Mark’s statue. 

“So he already…” He trails off, but Jeno sees where Renjun is looking. 

“He uh…he died on a mission. When he was sixteen. About two years after you left,” he says faintly. “Dad put up that memorial not long after.” 

No one says anything for a minute. 

“Where is Dad?” Renjun finally asks. Jeno grimaces bitterly at the urn he’s holding. “Uh here. He had a heart attack so I guess he really did have one after all.” He winces as his joke falls flat. Renjun curses his father in his head. He must’ve been so afraid of seeing him again his consciousness wouldn’t let him go farther back than the day of the bastard’s funeral. The old man was ruining his life even four years and an apocalypse down the line. 

Jaemin moves closer during Jeno’s explanation and moves around Renjun. He inspects him like he always did after missions. Back then Renjun couldn’t hide anything from Jaemin; he was always calling him out for hiding injuries and lying about how exhausted he was after teleporting. 

It seems time hasn’t deprived Jaemin of this ability. “You’re malnourished,” he says bluntly. “You’re covered in scrapes and bruises, smell like death, and exhausted. You need a bath, Mom to look over your wounds, soup, and a nap. We’ll deal with…everything else later.” Renjun attempts to protest, but Jaemin is as stubborn as he was when they were thirteen. 

Renjun adamantly tells Jaemin he does not want to eat soup, get checked over by Mom, take a bath, and take a nap. 

Renjun eats soup, gets checked over by Mom, takes a bath, and takes a nap. 

And by nap he means he sleeps for almost twenty-four hours straight. He almost bowls Chenle over in his desperation to use the bathroom. Once everyone has gathered in the living room after Chenle shrieks about him being awake Renjun finally starts crying. 

“What?” Jaemin demands. “What’s going on?”

“Mark hyung says you’re overwhelming him,” Donghyuck advises, and they all startle as that makes Renjun cry more. 

He pulls his knees to his chest on the couch and sobs as his family awkwardly tries to hug him. It should make him feel better. All their warm bodies do is make him remember how it felt to hold their cold ones. 

I think about Mark saying Haechan taught him what anger was like once a week

Mark Lee, Number Six

The ability to summon eldritch tentacles from a portal in his stomach which are strong enough to lift and destroy full-grown humans.

“Your life was a hypothesis. Those who die old are made of the past. Thinking of them, one thinks of what they have done. Thinking of you, one thinks of what you could have become. You were, and you will remain, made up of possibilities.”

Fic

Nct Dream The Umbrella Academy au

Fic

home this christmas🥹🫶🏼

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ It's my Time! 輝ける時 ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ . (ゝ。∂) 🧀🧩🥏 mAaRrKzZz

私が人生において正しいことをしたならば、それは私のハートをあなたにあげた時です。

if i can deal with my feelings, then why i'm falling?

the difference in interactions when a group is active is like so... Because like on record he was the closest to mark but their personalities don't match. Onscreen he was mark's bugaboo but like as soon as the jig was up it was like they act like 3rd cousin /step siblings. With Lucas he actually wrestled him, which he's never done before with a group member so that's like the most normal male bond he's had. Eggso is like obsessed with the skinship fanservice to the point I don't even know how fans react anymore. They just keep pushing the boundaries. He was trained in that 2nd 3rd gen style of fanservice inspired by Japanese fanservice which is extreme. For me it's like a psychological phenomenon to observe. But it's always the lack of emotion for me. Studying american celebs and how they are in relationship makes it so obvious to see kdolls have BOUNDARIES heavy ones, there's things from debut to retirement they won't do. They might grind and have fun but there's limits. It's different for each person. Sadly people only analyze for what they wanna see. pout pout.

bonus round

taeyong and him were like so adorbs they had such a special bond i cry. like I wanna analyze them but like..i dunno. I just don't like the shipping thing why can't people appreciate a special bond between two people without making it smexual. People are terrible. It was just so funny how in kai's mind him and taemin were gonna be the one's who stuck together in the group and taemin was like nope and started mingling with new people. Then he tried to cling to baekyun and he was busy being the leader. Ten may have intimidated him a bit because he's very out there and free. I caught mark scolding him multiple times and telling him to get off his phone. Hilarity. So then he realized Taeyong was an option and ..wah there's so many things. All fluff aside I think they may have boxed it out a few times and I think sm should release that footage