My Aesthetic - Blog Posts
My aesthetic
hating school but loving to learn
messy and smudged cursive written in black ink
almost illegible notes
room full of house plants
candles everywhere because ew electric lights
scattered papers all over the floor and desk
owning a bookshelf but half of the books are in piles on the floor
obsessed with David Bowie, Queen and any other rock stars from the 70s
studying with music but the genre of music changes every 10 songs
drinking way too much tea and coffee
sleep?
shelves if trinkets collected from walks (rocks, crystals, bones, dried flowers)
annotating classics with words like "LMAO" and "that's rough buddy"
rereading dead poets society, the secret history and the picture of Dorian Gray a million times
obsessed with astronomy
researching topics and conspiracy theories at 3am
scrolling through TikTok and Pintrest instead or studying
Reading horror books (Lovecraft and Poe)
Only wearing Doc martens and converse cuz they're the only shoes i own
mixing grunge (flannels, ripped jeans, band tees, fishnets) with fancy clothes (grandpa sweaters, collard shirts, dress pants, blazers)
leather jackets covered in pins (bonus points if they're handmade)
loving cryptids and all things supernatural
crimes, sci-fi or horror movies playing in the background while studying
notes covered in doodles
hair constantly being messily pulled back
way too much jewellery
heavy eye makeup (bonus points if slept without taking off)
loving the rain/ dancing in the rain
Mars bars and mint aeros
book pages beside band posters on walls
obsessed with eyes ( but can't make eye contact)
spending cold days at art galleries, museums, and libraries
playing punk rock on guitar and classical music on piano
having the same hairstyle for 3 years
ink and paint covered hands
in love with the moon
talking to the moon and stars
freaking out about failing a test and then getting 100%
Greek Mythology
"Achilles was a bottom"
sleeping with 10 blankets
crying about dead historic figures in the middle of the night
using halloween decorations as everyday decorations
POMEGRANTE
justice for pluto
protesting women's and lgbtq rights
ranting about the issues of misogyny in ancient greece
coffee stained paper
finding random things in pockets
singing songs in different languages but not knowing what the lyrics mean
chipped nail polish
A bowl of used matches
I just want to pretend. I want to pretend that I could.
I got this one Pin thingy on pinterest
And... I fucking need someone to go through all the 1.3k Pins I've got on there..
^ to give a lil taste of what's on there...
Soooo-
Pretty please? Anyone?
Discovering My Personal Style
Needless to say, it hasn’t been easy. Lucky for me, I was fortunate not to be influenced by outside forces: aka, the modern world in the form of public school. Because they would have attached stereotypes to me at best and bullied me at worst.
Before puberty, I didn’t really care about my style, because at that point I didn’t even know who I was. I didn’t have a firm grasp on what my likes, dislikes, personal goals and dreams were, and that was fine - it was normal. I was still learning about new things every day.
When puberty did hit and I suddenly started to care, things got confusing fast. For one thing, I went from being an elfin waif to a Germanic/Latina so full of curves the “teen” clothing section was not an option for me. So I turned to thrift store oddities and boys’ clothes… and growing my hair out to Sailor Moon anime lengths. Looking back, I think I knew I wasn’t going to be one of those people that strictly adhered to ever changing fashions, I wanted practicality and comfort, but all while still maintaining my femininity.
Those years, from my early teens to my early twenties, were hard on me, because I didn’t know who I was and what I wanted, so I lacked confidence in myself. Mid twenties weren’t all that helpful either. But between living abroad, working miserable jobs to save up for grad school and of course grad school itself, I didn’t have a lot of time and brainpower to stop and really reflect on what kind of styles felt like me.
And that was the missing piece I wasn’t getting for the longest time; what did I gravitate towards, what aesthetics brought me joy, what styles made me feel the most comfortable to be in my own skin?
Over the years, I think I picked up bits and pieces but didn’t put them together until recently. As a teen I wore boys’ cargo pants all the time. In my early twenties I had lots of tailored blouses. In my mid twenties I finally mastered some makeup techniques. In the past few years I’ve been on a 1940s-1960s vintage kick.
The result is what I think of as “Audrey Hepburn meets Evelyn O'Connell in the 21st century” (with a little Anazen originality thrown in).
So for those of you who are still trying to find your style, don’t feel pressured to do so. I didn’t know what mine was until I hit 30, and to be honest, it might change later! But right now, this is what I like and feel the most comfortable in. And for those that have found a style that doesn’t fit a stereotype; ignore the boxes! Especially if like me, you were worried about how your unique style would cause others to form false opinions of you before they got to know you. That’s not your concern, it’s completely on them. True relationships aren’t about what the other person is wearing.
We live in an age where it is ridiculously easy to experiment with an endless selection of styles and combinations, so it’d be a shame not to find a look that is perfect for you.