My Diary - Blog Posts

I just clocked that tumblr’s like my digital diary

Outfit inspiration 4 interview with modelling agency

Good morning, blog. Got an interview with an agency at 2 pm and i'm literally extremely nervous even though i've done plenty of castings & modelling work in the past but it's better to be prepared. I'm thinking I should put the ankle boots & skinny jeans combo to use with this. Currently BLASTING music in an attempt to get my mood up.

This is my actual collection of CDs

I started collecting CDs in I think 2012. It’s small collection tho, I had more but I sold some and I really regret that because now the price of CDs is higher (the brand new ones)

Yeah you can see that I love SOUNDGARDEN and everything related to Chris Cornell… I also have a pile of my custom discs from 2014(?) and some of my stepfather ones from early 2000’s

I can’t even explain how much I was into Hole and L7 I always dreamed about having original ones in my collection especially L7s “Bricks are Heavy”

I almost forgot about Sub Pop 200 CD and lately I like to listen to this one because it brings so much nostalgia to me because I remember discovering more and more about grunge music and idk I felt a connection with this genre (I still feel)

Really proud of these two

My biological father had a lot of those custom discs and I remember the 9 y/o me and him driving his car and blasting Rammstein or old Metallica albums and then later when I was older I brought him my L7 CD to play in car but he didn’t like them… I remember my disappointment. He was a classic metalhead. I like those memories…

Day 1 🎀

05.10.24

1.I studied english all day ✅

2.I drinked water all day ❌ ( but you'll should drink water please)

3.my school will open next week! I'm so excited for this, I love study very much! (I have been thinking about this btw)

4.I wrote something about how we motivate ( i will write to here soon )✅

5. I did read "hannibal" novel!:)✅

first time singing in a long time

wow, its been a long time since I’ve sung aloud, and honestly I did amazing. i had been waiting for my dad to go out since my mom was at work before i started to sing and i was so nervous. initially, i started singing “pitiful children” with my headphones in so i couldn't fully hear myself (which was a bad idea). i was really struggling to hit all those notes and it sounded really bad. then i decided to use my number 1 vocal warm-up song the clone high theme. i love singing the clone high theme because once i recorded myself singing it and i sounded really good, kinda like Halsey. once i felt sufficiently warmed up i decided to go back to pitiful children and honestly it wasn't that bad but the song didn't feel like me. i didnt sound terrible while singing it but considering that legally blonde is more of a alto/soprano musical and pitiful children was more of an alto/bass song i dont think it would be good for my audition. 

eventually i found “meant to be yours” and i said fuck it and i sang without my headphones. jesus christ did i sound AMAZING. the song was so fluid and i wasnr stuggling to hit any of the notes. hell after this i might go back and sing it again. i still had the same problem with the voice parts like i did with pitiful children but tbh even if i dont use it for my audition it really boosted my ego. this makes me think why i quit chorus, i am a damn good singer, but the songs we sung in chorus sucked ass and they were all boring. 

then it felt like i found the perfect song, it was wrapped in a little bow for me and at that point i knew it was the one (i said the same thing about pitiful children but go on) it was “I LOVE PLAY REHERSAL” when i sang it i sounded BEAUTIFUL it was everything like meant to be yours but only this time i had the perfect voice part. i think this is the song im going to use for my audition, dont be surprised if i get the role of elle woods 💋 

stressing out about things i haven't done

idk why but for some reason, I've started to think about what clubs I want to do this year, and honestly I'm kinda stressing myself out. initially all i was fully invested in starting my new club (a gardening club) and focusing on the BSU's section in the newspaper, but now i want to expand my horizons. after they announced that the spring play is going to be legally blonde i really want to try out for it. one of my friends who did the fall play says that i should do it and that it'll be sm fun, but this is the same person who constantly complained that they were stressed out and we're constantly behind and exhausted. thats where my dilemma is on the play idea, cause i need to focus on my grade and need to manage my other commitments. thankfully the play will coincide with the same time I start my club so it wont be that hard for me to practice and run my club. still, i still worry that i'll be stressed out. honestly i should focus on the positives of doing the play. 1. i like to preform and 2. ill make more friends.

im babysitting a six (6) year old, eight (8) year old, and a ten (10) year old and the stuff these children are allowed to watch on YouTube is insane. a lot of the stuff we are watching, and that i have paid any attention to, has had some sort of explicit meaning. a lot of them use sex or cheating on your partner as a punchline. whatever happened to kids watching minecraft videos or roblox videos. why aren't these kids playing outside or watching creepypasta comic dubs.