My Poems - Blog Posts

“i have a tendency to fall in love with people i already know will end up breaking my heart,

yet i still hope one of them will prove me wrong.”

- A.M. {just one}

Why does emptiness hurt so much,

when there is nothing for me to feel anymore.

Dragging my pale hands across the dirty walls,

I feel like giving up on everything.

I've lived on for so long,

hoping that someday everything would get better.

But that was just a lie I told myself,

because all that ever happened to me was blue.

From heartbreaks to heartbreaks,

I lived on hoping I would be free one day.

But turns out the way we live our lives,

is always predetermined before our births.

Stars and galaxies had perfectly aligned,

to make sure that luck never came my way.

All those times I felt like joys,

were simply mirages on my abandoned mind.

I wanted answers for so long,

but was afraid to come get them.

Now in the middle of the night I stand,

my heart feeling heavier than ever before.

My pale hands glides over the knocker,

and the sound of it makes the stillness scream.

Moonlight is the only comfort I have now,

as I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

The cold night air smells bittersweet,

but strangely it feels like home.

It is home.

Losing someone you love is hard enough,

but losing all of them together,

is the worst torture that a soul can suffer.

It's been years since I came home.

But I always carried it within me,

a burden that was uncalled for.

Now with the moon and the night as witnesses,

I gather every last ounce of life in me.

Calling home for the first time in years,

I am answered with a gentle breeze that caresses my cheeks.

Maybe they too missed me like I missed them.

Maybe I should've come sooner,

so that I could live a little longer.

But it doesn't matter now.

I call home after so long,

to let them know that I'll come soon.

It's just a matter of months, said the doctors.

But to me it feels like I have eternities to cross,

to finally be whole again.

Calling home for the first time in years,

I can't wait to be finally home again.

© Moonyloonywitch

12/08/2021

Take my hand and run away for a while.

Let's travel the world in a blink,

and land on the moon for a snack.

Perhaps Mars would be a good spot,

to plant a tree or a flower.

Then come back to the Earth,

and dive deep into oceans without a care.

Resurface on Pluto,

and scream "we love you boo".

Saturn's rings shall be perfect for a game or two,

jumping up and down to avoid the asteroids.

Pinch a tiny slice of Neptune,

and call it the new blue mould.

Sing a song into the void,

until it sings back with a laugh.

Stars shall be the last stop for today,

where we'll check for Peter Pan and Alice.

An then build a hammock between the arms of Orion,

giggling as he rolls his starry eyes.

As dawn creeps up on us,

the adventures come to an end.

I'll drop you off at your roof,

then go back to my tomb.

Morning comes and you wake up,

with a happy dream and a wide smile.

It all started when we first met,

that day in the forest at noon.

From passing strangers to forever friends,

our adventures shall go on without an end.

© Moonyloonywitch

02/08/2021

7:37 pm

Pain still lingers,

in places you left untouched.

Craving for a healing,

that never found its way to me.

No one deserves this slow death,

but I'll be lying if say I hate it.

Sweet words unspoken,

make cuts deeper than oceans.

Yet you left it that way,

knowing I'd never survive by myself.

Maybe I was wrong when I thought I loved you.

Maybe I just loved myself a little less.

© Moonyloonywitch

01/08/2021

10:50 am

Impression

Born in a less than ideal situation.

Having to find a way to elevate when you only see devastation.

Learning to be a better person when you only see questionable foundations.

And don’t you dare think differently.

You’ll be singled out and shamed.

Stay in a child's place is all they paint until it’s stained.

What you speak will cross everyone's ear frames.

Can’t even be confined to a parent.

Your feelings will be displayed on a canvas and they wonder why our trust vanished.

Now opening up is so phantom.

Their lack of loving, patience, and directions makes us less equipped for future relations.

Choosing yelling over communication.

Leaving us with no understanding of our transgressions.

Not knowing who we become is a reflection of their lack of preparation.

Forcing us to grow up too early.

Not mentally but with responsibilities.

Hindering our possibilities.

Encasing us in their own Insecurities.

Highlighting similarities from a parent with ongoing hostilities.

Basing our capabilities on theirs.

That ain’t fair.

We ain’t ask to be here, we’re products of two toxic pairs who don’t know how to actually care.

Ain’t saying the love ain’t there but there’s certain ways a child needs to be love that parents are unaware.

My energy is priceless but lately I been letting everyone pouch in like Tyson.

I was clueless that I was investing in sourceless Entities.

Allowing deposits from insignificant funds when I been giving out fortunes.

Extortion from the people I hold dear.

Depleting my shares for who would vanish when I need little bit care.

I been facing despair when no one is near.

I’ve become accustom to disappearing instead of asking for help cause for me, no one else is truly there.

A burden I came to bear but still lend a hand when I hear someone else cries.

Maybe it’s how I was raised.

My mother instilling me with generous ways.

Or I’m just a people pleaser that doesn’t know how to say no.

The most loyal or most stupidest.

A stewardess in pleasing but never in dismissing.

Maybe it’s a mission from divinity.

Embedding a large amount of empathy within me.

A coping mechanism to avoid my own vacancy.

Steadily engulfing myself in everyone else’s misery.

Knowingly knowing that the energy I receive take toll on me but I continue to indulge in things that’s no good for me.

I’m the biggest danger to me then any weapon formed against me.

Self inflected wounds that could of been avoided.

Mental trauma that still need to be sorted before else where involvement.

I just want to be dormant but everybody keep calling.

Truly love

My phone don’t ring but everybody loves me.

When I’m distant, all I hear I’m moving funny.

Questioning my silence but my body language speaks loudly.

If you loved me you would see that my mind is cloudy.

That my eyes is forecast for rain but I’m forcing delays.

That my energy is off it’s relay.

That my demons are having a field day.

I can’t shake the thoughts I’m having these days but I aspect someone who loves me to detect.

Sometimes you have to detach to reattach.

Isolate to medicate but no one understands that.

They want you to shine through all your darkness.

Evaluate them while you’re deteriorating on the inside but they love you.

How could you love me and not sense my imbalance.

Maybe it’s the mask I’m wearing but I thought love can conquer all.

Why couldn’t your love slip through the cracks?

Have a flanking attack or is that to much to ask?

Maybe you don’t truly love me.

Purest

Your the purest skin but treated like the latter.

And black man we scattered.

My perception of us has shattered.

We suppose to be kings who uplift our queens but lately we been leading them to disaster.

And all I hear is laughter.

Jokes and games like we all wasn’t in chains.

We should be put to shame but we can never see the errors in ways.

We’re men, this how we’re train.

We received praise for what slay.

Never taught restraint.

How to deal with pain.

This is probably why we reciprocate in harsh ways.

Projecting it on our beautiful reflections.

Choosing lighter complexion cause they don’t call us out on our lack of direction.

I will never understand this disconnection.

I will never get the lack rage.

This boil the blood in my veins.

How we allow them to stand alone through all their agony and pain.

Down play all their accolades cause we hate to see them be great.

Hate see them achieve more than what we can equate.

What we bring to plate would deflate any mate who choose to engage.

Instead of upgrade we display hate to heal our ego that’s already in fragile state.

Then when we flip the tape and blame it on their traits.

The way we manipulate, irritates.

It’s time for a change of pace.

Shame

All I feel is shame.

Suppose to be the next big thing.

It was all in my genes but I can’t fulfill that dream.

It got me going through the motions.

Handing out potions.

During a lot of healing so I won’t feel.

A coping skill to distract me from the chills I get.

It goes hand and hand with the liquor I sip.

Hiding behind it’s lit so I can keep pouring it.

Drowning myself cause I’m tired of the reality of it.

It keeps downing me and I keep doubting me.

Overthinking cause I don’t know what you think of me.

Do you hear my pleads as I scream.

Or is it only in my mind?



Peeling Spring

It’s a citrus kinda day,

Sour sweet oranges and yellows,

I am filled with a tingling on my tongue,

And the smell of summer,

I’m alive,

My hands are sticky,

And taste of tangerines,

It is bright out,

But I’m not blinded,

The sun is in my eyes,

But I remembered my sunglasses,

I’m alive

#2

as i pass through the second circle,

i wonder ‘is this inferno able to hold all us sinners?’

‘will it ever be enough for the long lines of fools,

of the liars and the traitors?’

brimstone and basalt beneath my feet and in my nose; not an unfamiliar feeling

as i watch the souls devour each other

in reckless fury, passion

on the backdrop of a hurricane of blue fire, carbon on hydrogen

crashing bodies on bodies,

with the echo of the endless storm in my mind,

i feel burning nostalgia in my hands,

in my mouth

for our earthly time together, burning coldly

and slowly in the remnants of my mind,

already half eaten, empty

by Ugolino, hiding her half-eaten fingers from my blind eyes

we are all fools, i more than most

for willingly walking into a sulfuric hell,

and for letting myself get eaten, like roadkill

by a devil who could never be satisfied.

as i crawl my way down to the bottom,

the last circle, lust to treachery

to the icy depths of this menagerie of our creation,

i know that if there isn’t enough room for us

so i will make room

as i forced my stomach to give space in its tiny insides

for your ravenous hunger, too much for two.

i will make room in the bottom for us

to make sure the devil devours us both,

judas, brutus; they can watch

as He chooses which of us will be the greatest feast.

they will vote, of course, with their half eaten hands and minds, on whom will be ripped apart first

and be sure, my dear

they have not seen our insides, thawing and clawing

they can jest, but never know the extent

of the crime committed,

we may be frozen in the lake together, but

there is not enough space in this devils mouth for the both of us

your cold blood will serve as a better appetizer,

than mine, i will stand and watch

endlessly burning, endlessly waiting

for starvation to take its toll

on my soul,

ripped from my body.

-L

#1

temptation hangs on the branch

sin dripping off the oak

a sweet smell, a sweet caress,

the forbidden fruit,

damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

wine red, with a honeyed core

my mouth aches for the sweet release

of the first bite, saccharine and dangerous

forbidden, but inviting to our

innocent soul.

eat with me, my love

come and taste the sin

of which He has forbade—

how could He? when the taste is so sweet,

when the fruit sits on the branches so beautifully,

waiting to be plucked?

take the honeyed temptation, sweetheart,

and i’ll let you have the first taste,

of our gentle sin, ripe and pleasing,

a tender transgression—

let the flavor sit in your mouth, love,

and let me savour it with you

together we sin, together we rise

higher than the heavens

where virtues could never take us;

they would never taste this right

- L