will there ever be a love more violent than the one between siblings?? i know father's love are harsh, and mother's love are softness wrapped with sharp edges, but siblings? siblings' love is brutal
healing hasn't been a great journey, and i don't think it will ever end, but at least i'm still trying
knowing that i will always be my father's daughter is sometimes what keeps me up at night
you need to understand i'm undeserving of your love, i'm sorry i can't let myself ever feel completely loved by you
i've been watching myself disappear as i do nothing to stop it from happening
listening to soon you'll get better by taylor swift and remembering how my great aunt said she liked the doctors on the icu, and how she talked about how the nurses were great, and how i used to wait till it got dark in my room to pray for a god i don't believe in, and how i was there with her in all times they allowed bc her fell out was sudden and my whole family was out of town except for me, and how she kept quiet until i came in to visit cause she was saving the little air she had to talk to me, and how in one of those quiet whispered conversations her words cut through my soul cause even the short breath couldn't keep her from wanting to comfort me by saying "it has been such a pleasure to help raise you", and how she did not know those words would never stop resonating within me, and how i did not know that would be our last conversation
does it ever drive you crazy how you have never met the present you? cause the second you process the present you it has already become the past you, so you have only ever met past versions of yourself, even if it was only for the matter of fractions of seconds
"don't do this it will make your skin look older and give you wrinkles" and what do you think i'm here for?? you could not have chosen a worst argument, all i'm here for is to get older with each passing day waiting for my death
do you ever have the urge to make someone feel so loved and cared for that the feeling will burst out of them in the form of tears?!
i'm already on the verge of closing this and leaving already, why starting things here from scratch is so hard? ugh
starting a new blog here is definitely a decision lol