A poem about being the scapegoat of a narcissistic mother
You say "I'll do better"
We say "I believe you"
You say "I'm trying my best"
We say "I believe you."
You say "I'm doing better this time."
We say "I believe you."
You say "I'm going through alot right now."
They say "we believe you."
I say "I know, me too."
You say "were a team"
We say "I believe you"
You say "it's not my fault."
They say "I believe you."
I say "it's not ours either."
You say "yous aren't making it any easier."
They say "I'm sorry"
I say "it's not any easier on us."
You say "You don't know what it's like."
They say "I'm sorry."
I say "but I do."
You say "Leave it, it makes me feel better."
They say "I'm sorry."
I say "I don't want to pick up the pieces again."
You say "I don't see you dad's helping us."
They say "We hate them."
I say "You taught us to lie to him, he doesn't know how bad its gotten."
You say "Everyone's against us."
They say "we hate them."
I say "for good reason.
Then we argue. We argue. And we argue again.
You say "If you hate it here so much, go live with your dads."
They say "no, we hate them."
I say "fine." I pack my bags.
We argue a last time...
You say "your being dramatic. Just come home."
I say "I'm done."
Now, we haven't spoken in a year.
You say "Your sister hates me."
They say "we hate her."
What I say doesn't matter, cause you don't let them hear me.
Sorry imma trauma dump a little here. Feel free to not read this, I just need to get it out.
I don't know how people do not realise how mental unhealthy it can be to allow a child to grow up in a home with a narcissistic parent. I grew up with two siblings (one younger, one older) and a narcissistic single mum. I was the scape goat. My sisters are both golden children.
I will never fully recover from the emotional abuse and trauma I was put through as a child, from a very young age but it got so much worse in recent years. I have now escaped the house and my mum, I haven't spoken to her in a year now after years of forgiving her time after time when she promised to change only to go back to the same ways after a few weeks. Due to this, my sisters now want nothing to do with me due to them still being stuck with her manipulations
Narcissism is an illness. If you think you might have it, please get help. And if you think your parent may have it, please feel free to message me or do some research. I promise you there is help out there and you are worth so much more that you believe.
will never not be jealous of people who live in big countries. england is so tiny no matter where i move away, i'll never be more than a 12 hour drive from my mum