Neurodiversity - Blog Posts
@differentcatcat @maxwell-demon @askarsjustsoswedish @m-f1
A thing about neurodivergence and masking is that eventually you get to the point of realising that a. masking doesn't necessarily mean masking as "normal"; and b. being able to dictate exactly what kind of weirdo people think you are is often much more valuable. It's like, ha ha, fuckers, now I control the narrative.
When someone goes
Why are you so ungrateful?
You're just lazy
Be more positive
Life is so beautiful
Just pull yourself together
How are you?
Well, what're you feeling?
Do you not understand what they're feeling?
Everyone feels emotions
Can't you just care more?
Do you have no empathy?
You're so mean
You're so cruel
You're so cold
Why are you smiling about that?!
Why are you so aggressive?
Just talk
Can't you stay still?
Just focus
Stop zoning out
Why are you so distracted?
It doesn't have to be perfect
It has to be perfect
Such a freak
That's useless
Just chill
Stop lying
You're just looking for attention
Everything is fine
What is wrong with you?
So I was talking to my friend who’s known me since elementary school. The topic of autism came up, I told em how the consensus of the older folks is that I’m neurotypical. She went “Nono that’s not right. I’m diagnosing you right now.” (She has ADHD).
I hate when people make fun of neurodivergent traits. I hate when people make fun of neurotypical for showing neurodivergent traits. I hate the sentence “they’re just being over dramatic”. I hate the sentence “I’m fine and they are too” I hate neurotypical people who think they understand neurodivergent brains and habits.
I hate when I realize I don’t know how to do something but I’m too old to ask. Like, I didn’t know I had to wash my sheets till a couple months ago
I don’t know how to make an outfit
I don’t know how to do laundry (I kinda just guess)
On that point I also don’t know how to fold laundry ( I just kinda guess on that one as well)
I don’t even know what else I don’t know because I don’t know it!?!?!?!?
I’m starting to realize I don’t actually dislike touch, I dislike that I can’t immediately stop being touched. Like I’m ok with hugs, but as soon as I’m done with hugs I need to be let go.
Does anyone have suggestions for items that feel like you are being swaddled. My current go to is to tuck myself in with my weighted blanket but it isn’t enough pressure. Any Recommendations?
Born to be an extrovert, forced to be anxious and overstimulated around people
I have a lanyard that I always wear outside the house and sometimes in the house. On it I have mg tangle, slug and this star thing. What should I add to it?
I JUST BOUGHF MY FIRST PAIR OF NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES. OMG THEY ARE AMAZING.
I got the same ones as bestie and they are amazing
ADHD TIPS: FOR THE NONMEDICATED AND THE MEDICATED
obviously, ADHD is not the same for everyone who has it. if you dont have ADHD, or aren't sure, but experience issues with executive function, memory, impulsivity, and emotional regulation, these tips can still be helpful!!!
practice radical self forgiveness
keep a notebook/journal
give your items a home
keep baskets, boxes, and bins, especially clear/mesh or anything that lets you see whats in it.
buy fruits/veggies/anything that spoils super quick the day youre going to use it
keep a list of easy meals
keep a trash receptacle in Every room
when you notice something dirty piling up, clean for just 5 minutes
do NOT worry about completing necessary chores. just do a little
if you need it frequently, keep it in sight, but off the floor if you can.
check under your bed, couch, or other corners where stuff can pile up when you get that random energy spike.
take a multivitamin, and cut down on soda (or other highly sugary food/beverages) if youre able. seriously!
specifically for the medicated!
take your meds, go to bed, and wake up at around the same time every day.
being vitamin deficient can make your medicine less effective. magnesium, B vitamins, omega 3s, and vitamin D might help. if you dont eat a lot of fruits, veggies, and fish, you are likely deficient in these at least.
stay. hydrated. For the love of god
try things you had trouble doing before medication
dont expect medicine to fix you
dont blame medicine for all of your improvement
no 2 people are the same, and what works for me might not work for you. i am likely on the spectrum, and i wasnt medicated at all for my ADHD until i was 17, and i wasnt on the right medicine until i was 21. i would recommend keeping that in mind while considering my tips!!
i will elaborate on these tips under the cut!
practice radical self forgiveness
i think this is the most important of all of these tips, which is why i put it first. i know its easy to look down on ourselves for our disability. but you must acknowledge this: you are disabled. you have a disability. you cannot hold yourself to the "normal" standard. more than likely, you grew up in an environment that didnt teach you how to navigate the world as you are, either. thats okay! we must teach ourselves.
try to view yourself as both the teacher/parent, and the child. when you forget something important, or make a careless mistake, or give into impulses, or say youll do it later and dont, or go too long without a bath, or let the trash pile up, you have to be kind to yourself. the child within you needs it. these things simply dont come naturally to us.
you must apologize to yourself as the child: im sorry i didnt pick up the trash. i know it makes the place dirty, and overwhelming. i will do my best to improve. i love you. you must forgive yourself as the parent: its okay, pumpkin. i forgive you. i know you didnt mean to make me overwhelmed, or to invite dirt into the home. i will help you improve. i love you. you also must do the reverse, apologize as the parent: im sorry, child. i did not teach you how to know you should pick up the trash. i did not teach you to recognize dirt. i will do better, and i will help you as best i can. i love you. forgive as the child: i forgive you. i know you are doing your best to lead me, and teach me what you know. you werent taught to pick up and see dirt either, were you? as long as you support and love me, we can figure it out together. i love you.
i know, to think this way can feel infantilizing sometimes. and its much harder to teach ourselves these habits. if its available, its okay to ask for help. just dont be too hard on yourself when your disability impairs your ability to be "normal." our habits die harder than most. even if you forget to maintain a habit, just do it when you remember.
2. keep a notebook/journal
i know, i know... every ADHDer HATES this tip. but it seriously works. dont hold yourself to a rigid standard when using it. i prefer dot grid journals, so i can write notes, or sketch, or make lists, or otherwise neatly divide pages how i wish, rather than it being blank/horizontally lined.
i dont keep a to do list all the time, i dont journal every day, i dont even look at the thing every day. there is no right way to use your journal. i use mine for many things at once: if i forget a notebook for class, or my laptop dies, i put my class notes in there. i put random doodles, layouts, oc pages, Big Feelings, and weekly/daily plans/to do lists. i dont obsessively keep up with it, or update it every day.
i DO use it when i feel overwhelmed. if i feel like 50 different things need to be done in 3 different domains and i dont know where to start, i write them down as i think of them. here is my typical order of operations (it took me a while to figure this out. i struggle deeply with prioritization.)
first, i write everything down i can think of that that moment. second, i label them necessary, important, and least important. third, i label how long they take (most time, some time, least time) finally, i start with the most important one that is the least overwhelming
now, i dont have an easy time labeling importance and time taken, of course. that can be the hardest part. but i dont worry so much about accuracy of my labels. i havent got it all down because i will almost always prioritize schoolwork over housework and hygiene, but we cant be perfect. the MOST important thing is always your health and safety.
dont worry about finishing a todo list, either. the most important thing is getting stuff you can forget on paper where you can look back at it when youre overwhelmed. you should keep your journal somewhere you access frequently or can see it.
also, the journal helps with big feelings. if youre feeling that white hot anger, the itching impulsivity, or rejection sensitivity, or anything that makes you think "i cant do this," start jotting words or pictures down. it can be anything. this will help when you feel that feeling the next time. we often get stuck in loops because we dont remember what caused a feeling or conflict, so we make the same mistakes. when you write it down, you can take your own word for it when you make a mistake. this makes it easier to recognize when youre falling into a pattern, and makes it easier to change your response.
3. give your items a home
if you arent constantly using something, or go more than a day without using it, send it home. an objects home is just somewhere it comes back to when its not needed, so that it isnt taking up space where it isnt needed. things like snacks, laundry (clean and dirty), art/craft/hobby materials, coats, electronics, plushies, anything. personify your stuff just a little bit- if you cant use it anymore, it cant find a home with you-- you have to send it on trash vacation. your coat wants to go home! pick it up and take it there when you can. its okay if that home isnt permanent, or if you lack materials/money to create a proper home. our coatrack is a chair right now, which is a much comfier home than the floor.
4. keep baskets, boxes, and bins, especially ones that are see through/visible
this helps you give your items a home. if you buy storage, get something stackable too, but even a cardboard box works. keep like objects together! and keep them near what theyre used for.
5. buy fruits/veggies/anything that spoils quickly the day youre going to use it
its sooo tempting to try to eat healthy and save money by stocking your fridge full of healthy produce and raw meat, but unfortunately i know how much money we waste forgetting/not having the energy to use them. if you need a fresh fruit, veggie, or meat, for something you are definitely planning on cooking, buy it the day of. if you have something in your fridge you dont think youre going to use before it rots or molds, stick it in the freezer!!!
also, frozen and canned fruits, veggies, and meats are just as good as fresh. they stay good for so long you dont have to worry about it going bad.
6. keep a list of easy meals
things that you can get down your gullet easily, and prepare easily. 1 pan meals, sandwiches, hotdogs, hot pockets, instant oatmeal, canned meals. i typically keep instant oatmeal and those tuna creations packets, as well as club/ritz crackers. also, skillet meals like velveeta skillets and hamburger helper are awesome, just keep some frozen ground beef (or meat of your choice) and youre good to go!
also, eggs last for MUCHHHH longer than the sell by date. i have had eggs 3 months past the date (note im american so they are under refrigeration) that were still good, but obviously that long past the date you should do a sniff test after breaking an egg. eggs are awesome in terms of ease of prep. heat your pan up to temp before cooking and they wont stick so bad. use cheese or milk to make a desirable texture for scrambled eggs or omlettes. dont forget salt and pepper (necessary...) you can also stir an egg and peanut butter into instant ramen for some actual nutrition. i also keep onion powder, paprika, and cayenne for yummy eggs.
in the egg vein, french toast is extremely easy and filling, and will sate a sweet tooth with some syrup!
7. keep a trash receptacle in every room
it doesnt have to be big, but having a designated trash spot in your bedroom is super helpful
8. when you notice something dirty piling up, clean for just 5 minutes
you dont have to clean to completion, thats overwhelming!!! but when you see something gross or messy and it bothers you, just take a couple minutes and pick up a little. play a song and tidy until the end of it! cleaning isnt all or nothing!
9. do not worry about completing chores, just do a little
in the same vein as the last one, the most important thing is getting the ball rolling. cleaning can be really hard because of the overwhelm of how bad it is. you can make it less bad a little at a time!
something ill do is sort out and scrape off the dishes before even thinking about doing them. that way, they take up less space and it doesnt look quite as bad. then next time i come to them, i do a bit more. or ill pick up the dirty laundry off the floor, then ill put it next to the washing machine, then ill wash/dry. i dont worry about folding and putting away unless im up for it-- its more important that theyre clean at all.
10. if you need it frequently, keep it in sight, but off the floor if you can.
remember, the floor is the stuff killer! if it must be on the floor, designate a spot.
11. check under the bed, couch, chairs, and piles if you have a random energy spike
i have found so much stuff i didnt even realize i lost. this also prevents pests and the accumulation of dirt.
12. take a multivitamin and cut down on soda (or other highly sugary foods) if youre able. seriously!
in high school i tried eating low-carb for a while. i didnt maintain this diet, but what i did maintain was not drinking soda regularly. when i say my head cleared and i felt less groggy, i mean it. if youre in the position, pay attention to the amount of sugars in what you eat and drink.
i know the "eat well" advice is given out too much, but nutrition seriously matters. if you care to work on your nutrition, do not worry about fat, carbs, or anything like that. just cut down on how often you eat highly sugary foods. you will feel so much better just from that. i have a sody pop as a treat every now and then and i have a whole other appreciation for it :-)
for the medicated:
take your meds, wake up, and go to bed around the same time
your body works on a schedule whether you want it to or not. pay attention to this schedule and try to work with it. when do you usually get tired? when do you prefer to wake up? when do you usually use the bathroom? this goes for nonmedicated people, too. your body will thank you!
2. vitamin deficiency can make medicine less effective. magnesium, B vitamins, vitamin D, and omega 3s can help.
these vitamins are all harmless, except for magnesium, which can slow your heart rate and cause shallow breathing IN HIGH DOSES. luckily, stimulants tend to deplete vitamins/electrolytes like magnesium, which can cause twitches and spasms. dont get large doses of these, 100% daily value is just fine.
3. for the love of god stay hydrated
imagine you are a machine and water is lubricant. stimulants suck up this lubricant to make you run more effectively. however, without extra, the machine will still run like shit. try to drink a whole glass with your medicine, and keep a cup to fill thru the day.
4. try things you had trouble with before medication
its super easy to get discouraged from something when you feel like a failure! try it again now! it may be easier. be sure to give yourself praise for what you do! your effort, your success, anything! this will teach your brain to see stuff through and help you feel and be more competent!
5. dont expect medicine to fix you
adderall, vyvanse, ritalin, none of these are a pill to fix you. they give you the capacity to work on yourself. dopamine is the "go get it" chemical. typically, ours is low and irregular, so we dont feel the drive to "go get it" when we need to, and we dont feel enough of a drive to see something through until we "get it." you still have to put in a lot of effort to fix habits and do work, medicine makes it so its easier. for me, it also reduces Noise in my head, so i can focus better. i still have to put effort into everything, its just less painful.
6. dont blame medicine for all of your improvement
again, medicine gives you capacity. YOU still do it all! its all you!!!!!! :D
thank u for reading i hope these are helpful! i feel like adhd tips are veryyy all or nothing and never explain WHY they may help, so i hope my explanations are helpful!
Just a reminder: It’s better to brush your teeth in the middle of the night than not at all.
Idk if this is just me, but does anyone else get the random urge to like, move ur hands?? Like, I wanna clapclapclap or do lil hand flappies and if I can't, or can't do it fast enough, I feel like I need to scream, but I can't so I just either wait out the burning ball of fuckfuckfuck in my heart, or, if I'm in my room on my bed, I'll like, idk writhe around on my bed like a cat??? I can't think of any other way to explain it, like a cat doin a lil stretch. Is this normal, or is it just a me thing?
Also, it would be nice to say something, "But I expect you to do this without me asking"
Well, it would be easier to us if you just, ask, instead of wasting time on frustration of me not doing it.
I would say this is a problem among neurotypical people but its a little annoying I see that bettwen neurodivergent people too, like dude, YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE, JUST COMMUNICATE PLEASE.
I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"
Cause like
I dont know about anyone else
But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering
And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW
I think I might have the spreadsheet autism. I’m supposed to be writing a paper, but I ended up procrastinating by creating a spreadsheet detailing by how much each state’s minimum wage fails to support basic costs of living.
The person who wrote this question was in my walls, I just know it!! I felt very, very seen - in a good way. (Ignore the side-eye medaeival owl. He doesn't know what's going on.)
That's from Neuropsycology Dorset's autism screening test. I'm not surprised to find that I'm probably not neuronormal, but I didn't expect to score that highly in both the ADHD and autism screening. C'mon, brain!
I'm wondering if I should get a formal diagnosis; I'm not sure how much help it would be. I know it varies according to person, so if anyone has experience in this, do let me know!
(Screaming cat is Mewi de Pointe du Cat from Lescat corpse yeeting)
In school, I struggled with writing-heavy projects. Everyone else seemed to have no issue writing essays, while it felt impossible for me. I would spend hours just looking at a blank page, thinking through how to start.
When I told my 8th grade teacher that I would be handing in another essay late, he offered to grade my first draft so I could spend more time catching up on other projects.
He understood why I struggled when I told him I didn’t write drafts. I only ever submitted the best version I could manage in one sitting, but only after thinking about the entire essay altogether over multiple weeks.
I’m really trying to learn and understand, while also letting go of that. I want to paint and write and create without over analyzing each step, burning out before I start.
Guys how do you be normal and likeable not in like a sad person way but like genq when I’m me everyone is like “why are you so sad you’re so miserable all the time” but when I’m happy ppl are like “you have this off putting almost like maniacal vibe” (their words not mine and I asked for advice bc although this person is very nice to me other ppl are Not) and I. Don’t know. What to do. Literally how do you like be a normal non-off putting person????????
The beginner autistic guide to common terms in our community (with extra context!).
*Disclaimer, I’m not a professional. This is just knowledge from my experience as an autistic person. Please feel free to correct anything :)
These definitions will include some of my own opinions and thoughts, especially on the more controversial terms. This is simply to help better prepare new autistic community members for conversations they become engaged in. Having all the perspective and context you can have can be very helpful when moving into new social spaces.
Autism (Or Autistic Spectrum Disorder, ASD): A neurodevelopmental disorder that is present from very early childhood. It’s mostly recognised through difficulties with social interaction and restricted and/or repetitive behaviours. The way it is referred to as “Autism Spectrum Disorder” is specifically referring to the fact that autism presents in countless ways. There are common traits and patterns, but the severity and complexity of those traits and symptoms is infinite.
NOTE: This does not mean that ‘everyone is a little bit autistic’. You are either autistic or you are not. It just means that if you have autism, it may present very differently to other autistic people you know.
Asperger’s Syndrome: Asperger’s syndrome is usually considered an older term for a ‘subtype’ of autism. The term is considered outdated by the DSM-5 and no longer used in that document. However it is still used in a lot of other countries. Now it is becoming more socially known that ‘Asperger’s syndrome’ is just a specific presentation of autism. Many autistics don’t like the use of the word ‘Asperger’s’ because of a couple reasons:
The term has a long history with NAZI’s and eugenics.
The term seems to basically mean ‘high functioning’ autistic, which simplifies the condition.
Asperger’s Syndrome is defined in a very similar way to autism, however people with “Asperger’s’ may be described as ‘gifted’ or ‘intellectual’.
It’s important to note that many people still identify themselves with the term ‘Asperger’s’. While it is good to be educated and up to date with terminology, some people have identified with this term their whole life and it’s not wrong to use the term for one-self. But either way, I do encourage you to do more research if you are comfortable.
Neurotype: Can be basically defined as the type of brain function one has. Some people consider autism a neurotype, and then neurotypical as another neurotype. However, many people claim that autism is ‘just another neurotype’. This is a harmful way of thinking about autism because autism is a disability. Labelling it as a ‘neurotype’ belittles all the struggles autistic people have that make them disabled. Autism is a spectrum and so some autistic people may not really consider themselves disabled, but many do.
Neurotypical (NT): A non-autistic person with no other mental conditions.
Allistic: A non-autistic person who can still have other mental conditions, such as depression or ADHD.
Neurodivergent (ND): Traditionally ‘Neurodivergent’ has been used to mean either autistic or ADHD. However in some contexts it is used to mean someone with any mental condition, including personality disorders or mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.
Neurodiversity: a term used to describe the fact that there are many neurotypes in the world. It is used to imply that differences in brain development and function should be accepted as relatively normal. I think this is a good sentiment, but that some neurotypes should still be considered disabilities as well as a neurotype, so as not to diminish the struggles specific neurotypes go through.
High functioning/Low functioning: The labels of functioning are terms used to describe how independent an autistic (or other kind of disabled) person is able to be. Many autistics do NOT like the use of these terms for a couple reasons:
It tends to focus on the way an autistics disability affects the allistic people around them.
It simplifies the experience of the individual with autism to how independent they are, and is also not very descriptive for anyone trying to help the said autistic person.
High needs/Low needs: These are labels used to describe how much assistance an autistic (or other kind of disabled) person may need. It is slightly preferred by autistic people as the language is more centred to what the autistic person needs, rather than how independent they can be.
NOTE, many autistic people would argue that these terms are basically the same as high functioning and low functioning. I personally consider it to be best to just state someones highest needs or difficulties. For example “Olivia is nonverbal and highly sensitive to light and noise.”.
Masking: Masking is the act of hiding ones autistic traits to appear to be neurotypical. Masking is often a survival strategy developed by autistics to evade bullying or isolation. Masking can include suppressing the urge to stim, forcing oneself to make eye contact, learning how to ‘properly’ execute facial expressions, studying body language, etc. Masking can be an extremely vital skill for autistic people, but when an autistic person has to mask for long periods of time it can lead to negative consequences such as burn out or meltdowns. Masking can also be used in the context of other disabilities, such as ADHD.
Scripting: Scripting is a form of masking, when an autistic person pre-plans or practices responses or entire conversations. You may have a script you unconsciously follow for questions like “how are you?” Or “how is work?”, etc. It may be inspired from TV shows, movies or observing other people interact.
Burn out: Burn out is when an autistic person reaches their limit and has decreased energy for an extended period of time. Burn out may last anywhere between a couple days or a few years. Burn out is often caused by excessive masking, but can also be caused by repeated rejection, bullying or other mental conditions. Burn out is not the same as depression, but it can co-exist with depression.
Meltdown: A meltdown is when an autistic person experiences what might look like a ‘tantrum’. The person may be very angry, yelling, punching or hitting things (or themselves). They may be aggressively stimming or humming to themselves. A meltdown, internally, feels as if you are completely filled with negative energy, as if you might burst. It can feel like extreme irritation, or anger, or shame. Meltdowns can be caused by any number of stressful situations. For an autistic person this can be having a lot of social events, their routine being disrupted, having to eat foods they don’t like, being overstimulated, or even just negative social interactions.
Shutdown: A shutdown is very similar to a meltdown, in how it can be caused. For me personally, I tend to have a shutdown if I am not in a safe place to have a meltdown. From the outside it looks very similar to dissociation, and it can co-exist with dissociation. It typically feels like you are shutting down, turning off. You emotions were about to burst and then you just went numb. You may be unable to move, or go non-verbal. You may be crying quietly or you may simply just very suddenly feel the need to go home.
NOTE: Meltdowns and shutdowns can appear to feel like a panic attack, but they are different. Panic attacks come from intense feelings of dread or doom. Meltdowns and shutdowns come from repeated, or intense, stressful situations for an autistic.
Hypersensitive: Hypersensitivity is when the brain processes sensory input (such as touch, taste and smell) as much more intense than a neurotypical person would. This can mean that a slight cold breeze may feel painfully cold. Or looking outside a window can hurt ones eyes because it feels too bright. Or having to wear specific textures to stay calm.
Hyposensitive: Hyposensitivity is the opposite of hypersensitivity. It is when your brain inteprets sensory input as much less intense than a neurotypical would. Ways this can present in an autistic person include not realising when they hurt themselves, having a high pain tolerance, being unaware of temperature changes, etc. You may also not recognise your bodies hunger cues, dehydration or need for sleep.
NOTE: An autistic person can experience both hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity. It can also fluctuate day-to-day.
Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD): SPD is basically the term for experiencing lots of variation in your sensory input. It is similar to Auditory processing disorder. Which is where your hearing is technically fine (you aren’t any form of deaf), but you have trouble distinguishing what specific sounds are, or listening to one, important sound, in an area with lots of different noises (for example, being unable to understand what someone is saying next to you, because the TV is on.)
Overstimulation: This is when an autistic person has been experiencing too many different sensations at once, or for an extended period of time. This may be caused by too many noises happening at once. Or even just one annoying sound repeating for a long time. It can also be triggered by touch, taste, sight and smell.
Executive function/dysfunction: Executive function is the term used to describe how the brain initiates tasks. For neurodivergent folk, our executive function is often dysfunctional. This means we can often find it difficult to start new tasks. A way you may experience it is when you are sitting down, you may be screaming internally that you need to go and get some food, but your body seems unwilling to co-operate. Having executive dysfunction does not mean you are lazy, or do not want to do the task, it means you may be unable to do the task.
Autistic intertia: Autistic inertia is related to executive dysfunction, because it is a term that helps describe how autistic people struggle to switch or initiate tasks. “ An autistic at rest remains at rest, and an autistic in motion remains in motion”.
Special interest/Hyperfixation: A special interest is a extremely long term interest/obsession with a particular topic. An example might be being really into pokemon. Learning all the different types of pokemon, playing all the games and collecting heaps of merch. A hyperfixation is a more short-lived interest that can be destructive in it’s severity (for example, it might get so extreme that it’s the only thing you can think about, to the point where you neglect your needs). Special interests are less likely to be destructive. But hyperfixations can be healthy and normal too.
Stimming: Stimming or self stimulation is the act of doing repetitive movements to help self regulate. Stimming can look like spinning, chewing, flapping hands, dancing, foot tapping, pen clicking, touch soft fabrics, using weighted blankets, lighting candles, eating crunchy snacks, etc. All of these forms of movement or repetitive sensory input can help us regulate our emotions better, prevent a meltdown or shutdown, or focus on a task easier.
NOTE: Echolalia is another term you may hear. It is a form of stimming in which an autistic person repeats sounds/phrases over and over.
ADHD: Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is a neurodevelopmental disorder like autism, but it affects the brain in different ways. It often presents as having difficulties with paying attention, regulating emotions and hyperactivity (or, alternatively, it can present as being inattentive).
Savant or Savant syndrome: A condition when someone with some type of significant mental disability is an expert/’savant’ in a particular field, to the point of surpassing neurotypical experts. An example might be having photographic memory, or being able to learn languages extremely easily, or being an extraordinary mathematician. Autistic people often don’t like to hear the term ‘savant’ as we are often only valued by ‘society’ if we are savants. And if we are not, then we are often treated as lesser. This is kind of a form of eugenics.
Eugenics: Eugenics is a philosophy or belief that we can selectively breed humans to ‘improve’ humanity. Or create the ‘perfect race’. This was an idealogy practiced by Adolf Hitler during WWII, which lead to the holocaust. Eugenics is often a subtly underlying philosophy behind many statements that, on face value, seem relatively harmless. For example - “autism is the next step in evolution” is currently a popular statement. However, this implies that every other neurotype is not an improvement, which therefore implies that being autistic is superior. This would be considered a form of eugenics. Eugenics is considered a horrible philosophy because it encourages people to look down on others and dehumanise anyone not like themselves.
Co-morbidity: A co-morbidity is the term used for a condition that is regularly seen in conjunction with another condition. For example, autism and ADHD are often seen together. However, it can also be used to simply describe someone who has more than one condition (physical or mental).
AuDHDer: Someone with autism and ADHD. Just a shortened way to refer to people with both disabilities.
Selective mutism/Situational mutism: When an autistic person (or other neurotype) experiences periods of being unable to speak or communicate. This can often occur in stressful situations, like before tests or during doctors appointments. It is officially referred to as ‘selective mutism’ but many are trying to change it to ‘situational mutism’ as the individual does not willingly choose when they go non-verbal.
Alexithymia: Alexithymia is typically described as the inability to define and/or describe ones emotions. So you may often feel a type of discomfort, but not be able to label what it is. Not being able to distinguish between anger and irritability. Or not knowing if you feel sad or confused. It can make seeking professional help for many conditions really difficult, as you are unable to put your experience into words. It can also be similar to hyposensitivity in the way that it makes it difficult to understand what you body is feeling.
Dyspraxia: Dyspraxia is a disorder that affects co-ordination, movement and balance. It can make things such as sports, driving, cooking and writing difficult. It is fairly common in autistic people.
Prosopagnosia: The inability to recognise/remember faces. It is more common in autistic people.
Synesthesia: Synesthesia is when one form of sensory input is sometimes also experienced as another. For example, someone with this condition may see colours when they hear someones name. They may hear a song and get a taste in their mouth. This is also more common in autistic people.
FINAL NOTE: Autism is a spectrum and you may not experience all of these different terms, or you may not experience them in the way I described them. That does not mean you aren’t autistic. This is not a diagnostic tool. This is simply a guide to learning the terms you may often hear when discussing autism.
AuDHD culture is watching your favourite shows over and over again because it's safe, and you love them
I’m neurodiverse and I have some of the best friends who are also neurodiverse. Best thing about not being in school and having to find friends there? Neurodiverse adults are everywhere and many are realizing that they are special instead of weird because of it.
I’m not going to lie. The neurotypical world is hard to fit in because it wasn’t made for us. But having friends and who are like you make it easier to deal with the NT world. Plus, we tend to have the cooler hobbies and jobs and past times and collections.
We need to talk more about Autistic, ADHD and Neurodiverse Joy
As a kid I felt hopeless because the only narrative you ever see about Autism is the loneliness, the otherness, the bullying and the struggle. I never once saw anything about the joys of having autism or that autistic people can actually have nice things in life. It was all doom and gloom. The world tells autistic and neurodiverse children that their lives are going to suck because of the way their brain is, because of something they can't control and had no say in, and it's wrong
I'm Autistic and I fell in love. I'm Autistic and I have friends, good friends, who love me back. I'm Autistic and I do feel joy and togetherness and peace. THAT is the message we need young Neurodiverse kids to hear. No more shows about our hardships, more stories about our joy please
Absolutely, it's a good feeling to know that you have everything you need close by!!
- Shay (They/it)
My family always gets annoyed I keep a bad with me (either in the car or on my person) but I need it
It has my money, my id/my learners permit, noise cancelling headphones, blue tooth headphones and ear buds, period pads, small snacks in case I didn't eat and/or I feel fainty, A book for in case I need something to focus on/fill time, a couple bracelets and a plushie to fidget with and help if I have a melt down, as well as my tablet for my music for car rides and to distract from the other over stimulating noises and my house keys, and a small notebook and a pen/pencil in case I need to write something down so I remember it or doodle
All in just a medium sized backpack
I don't always bring it in with me depending on the circumstances, but I like knowing everything I need I have at least somewhat close
when I was a child (like 3-6ish) with undiagnosed autism I would gnaw on frozen (like, fresh out of the freezer, uncooked) crinkle cut carrot slices when I wanted a snack, didn’t matter what temperature it was outside. I’m just wondering if weird teething habits are common in other people with autism, I would assume so with the existence of chewlery
:D
Somebody please understand when I say he is autistic.
(in a dora-like voice)
Let's play guess how many missing assignments I have! Do YOU know how many it is? ... You don't? Neither do I! All I know is it's a lot 😃
You can say "I am struggling to do [x thing] because of my disability" and neurotypicals + able-bodied people will come up with any reason ever why it isn't actually your disability causing you to struggle and is actually a personal moral failing.
Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by
Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.
You. Are. Overstimulated.
People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.
These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.
Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time
Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!
Sometimes i wish i didnt have to talk. I wish i could communicate through cards or something. Im often overwhelmed/overstimulated and want to or do go semi nonverbal. Or I just really dont want to talk to people, but if i tell people that they just think "oh shes rude" no i just really want to be alone. Please let me be alone and ground myself. I need a second to breath and get away from everyone. I struggle with daily life its so infuriating. Why is normal so hard? I thought I was normal. But noooo. Apparently im just sensitive. Yeah theres nothing wrong with me, its completely normal to want to break down crying simply beacause your routine will be changing for 1 day and will go right back to normal the next day. No your normal. Nothin wrong here. And sometimes i feel just genuinely stupid. I payed attention to this thing, i was taking in that information and it was running through my brain, but now that im not currently learning, i completely forget when im on my own and have to learn for myself. Idk if that made sense. But basically i feel so incapable if no one is holding my hand through something and im guided through step by step. And i was never like this before, i dont think. Everyone i ask says i was completely normal. But i also know i kept and keep alot inside, aka mask alot. My closest friend dosent even know half my interests. They dont even know im like this. The only person who knows basically all of me is my sister, shout out her. But anyway. I dont know why my brain cant live life the way it wAS LITERALLY MADE TO. Yeah theres definitely somethin neurologically mixed up in there. Dont know what but. Yeah. I honestly think im being dramatic half the time. I never really voice half the things i just yapped about so how would anyone be able to help me? Idk. Im just so tired of being confused.