Nikolai Gogol - Blog Posts
Happy Halloween everyone!!
Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You agree.
This is part of a series of standalone works about Nikolai Gogol. The rest can be found here including content warnings for each separate part.
general cw: yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry! "agree" cw: above, he's the best here probably, you might be into it a bit more here oops mb
Pinned down onto Nikolai's couch, he sinks his teeth into you again and again, littering your skin with harsh bruises as he marks up your neck.
"Don't leave," he nearly growls, pressing gentle kisses over the bites.
You shift underneath him, shying away from his harshness. "Nikolai," comes out breathlessly, the sound catching in your throat as your hands grip his shirt tightly to try and keep yourself grounded.
The white-haired man looks at you beneath him as his hands clamp down on your waist, holding you tighter as he moves his lips to your shoulder. For a few moments, Nikolai plants kisses along your neck while you catch your breath. Just before you can fully calm down, his teeth are right back on your collarbone and biting down with reckless abandon.
"Stay," he growls once more, teeth digging in to send another batch of shockwaves all across your body.
You whimper beneath him, thrashing tirelessly under his hold. "Nooo!"
Hot breath against your skin and sharp teeth grazing your flesh overwhelms your senses, sending you into a spiral while his fingers trail up and down your arms gently. It's hard to soothe someone while also causing them pain, but Nikolai's ministrations lead to your thrashing subsiding, chest heaving up and down as you merely breathe against him.
"It hurts?" he asks hoarsely.
The only response he gets is a feverish nod. Your eyes are screwed shut as your hands fumble with his shirt, clenching and unclenching the black fabric. It's an attempt to ground yourself, but your stinging neck keeps it from fully working.
Nikolai looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as he slides his teeth against your neck again, this time applying only enough pressure to be noticeable, ghosting over your bruised and ruined skin.
Monotonously, he replies, "Then I won't stop," as though merely stating a fact and not deciding your fate. Your breath catches, holding it for a moment while he lets out a low growl of satisfaction.
An unwanted hiccup passes your lips, tears spilling from your eyes while squirming beneath him. The feeling of pain clouds your mind, your head spinning from the sensations he's causing.
"Keep struggling," he demands softly while his eyes flare with excitement.
"Niko...lai," you pant.
The man grins excitedly over you, seemingly taking this as a challenge as he increases his biting pressure. Nikolai's tongue licks around the areas he's previously bruised before his teeth sink into you just right, breath stopping again at the pain. The action happens twice more before he yanks on your hair, forcing your head to crane back to give him better access.
A yelp sounds from you as your grip tightens on Nikolai's shirt, knuckles turning paler as the fabric stretches under your hold. You whine out a pathetic pleeease, tears turning to big globs while squirming once again.
He doesn't let up though, choosing instead to slide his mouth down your neck in search of another sensitive spot.
With his teeth hovering over your shoulder, threatening to bite down once again, Nikolai whispers, "Tell me you'll stay.” His voice is soft, the gentle tone he uses making your mind hazy.
You hesitate contemplatively, trying to weigh your options. All you have to do is promise you'll stay and he'll stop, right? That's not such a bad trade. Why did you even want to leave again? He protects you, always doing things in your best interest, right? Sure, he's hurting you now, but it's only because you hurt him first when you tried to leave. If you had just stayed in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.
Honestly, this predicament is entirely your fault, isn't it?
After a brief moment of hesitation, you end up nodding quickly. The motion agitates the bites along your neck, which causes you to flinch and recoil slightly. "I'll stay." The words come out easily, a promise you were sure you wouldn't break. Knuckles loosening, your hands move up from his shirt, the fabric now stretched out and wrinkly as you gently hold his shoulders.
The action makes Nikolai swoon, excited that you finally saw the light- the truth. With a gentle touch, his thumb and pointer finger pinch the chub of your cheek, pulling it out slightly as he smiles adoringly down at you.
"Perfect dove," he says as gently as his touch, voice soft and sweet before he presses a kiss to the side of your mouth. "So good for me."
Breathing more relaxed now, you nuzzle into his hand as it cups the side of your face. Nikolai's sudden loving touches help to calm you down, knowing it's finally over. The hand trails down slightly, palm swinging away from your skin as his finger pads linger just over the highest mark on your neck, made just below where your jaw and neck meet under your ear.
Nikolai can't help but reel giddily as you don't even flinch, just leaning into his touch as he rests it just over where he punctured it. The thought that you weren't even scared of him touching the tender spot and making it sting really solidifies in his mind that, once again, you're his. No more running away, you're more than happy to let him watch over you once again.
"You did so well for me, dove," he coos fondly. "Took it so well, didn't you? Precious dove. Always putting up with me, aren't you," Nikolai adds, the last line not a question.
The white-haired man pauses for a moment, smile fading. It takes him a few moments of gazing at the harsh marks marring your pretty skin for him to decide he might have to apologize.
"And... I'm sorry for that," he whispers, tone much lower than the murmur from a few seconds ago. "I got nervous, you know how I can get," he tries to explain with an awkward and forced chuckle, the guilt he's so accustomed with eating away at him.
Like Nikolai said, you're always put up with him - actions like this aren't exactly new, he just usually knew when to stop. You squeeze his shoulders once. "I know. You're a lot," you speak candidly.
With a wide grin, Nikolai feels immense relief. the guilt is still there, but it's significantly minimized when he realizes you aren't all that upset or scared. "I am!" He grins, fingers hovering back and forth over each wound on your neck. "Too much, right?" Even so, Nikolai can't help the small giggle sitting on his tongue, a glimmer of mirth in his eyes.
"The bites, or you?" You teasingly ask, eyes looking up at him in amusement.
It makes his heart flutter whether he wants it to or not, knowing this was nothing but a footnote in your time together, still as obsessed with him as he is with you. Nikolai shrugs as your request for clarification, not really having an answer anyway. "Both."
"The bites... yes. A bit too much. You?" You pause for a moment, letting silence linger as though building up suspense. "I guess you can be. But it might be a part of your charm."
"Might?" Nikolai pouts before peppering soft kisses along your cheeks, alternating left and right.
He wouldn't let you leave, that's for sure.
Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You are unsure.
This is part of a series of standalone works about Nikolai Gogol. The rest can be found here including content warnings for each separate part.
general cw: yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry! "are unsure" cw: above + condescending manipulation (making decisions for you?), could be seen as kidnapping?
Pinned down onto Nikolai's couch, he sinks his teeth into you again and again, littering your skin with harsh bruises as he marks up your neck.
"Don't leave," he nearly growls, pressing gentle kisses over the bites.
You shift underneath him, shying away from his harshness. "Nikolai," comes out breathlessly, the sound catching in your throat as your hands grip his shirt tightly to try and keep yourself grounded.
The white-haired man looks at you beneath him as his hands clamp down on your waist, holding you tighter as he moves his lips to your shoulder. For a few moments, Nikolai plants kisses along your neck while you catch your breath. Just before you can fully calm down, his teeth are right back on your collarbone and biting down with reckless abandon.
"Stay," he growls once more, teeth digging in to send another batch of shockwaves all across your body.
You whimper beneath him, thrashing tirelessly under his hold. "Nooo!"
Hot breath against your skin and sharp teeth grazing your flesh overwhelms your senses, sending you into a spiral while his fingers trail up and down your arms gently. It's hard to soothe someone while also causing them pain, but Nikolai's ministrations lead to your thrashing subsiding, chest heaving up and down as you merely breathe against him.
"It hurts?" he asks hoarsely.
The only response he gets is a feverish nod. Your eyes are screwed shut as your hands fumble with his shirt, clenching and unclenching the black fabric. It's an attempt to ground yourself, but your stinging neck keeps it from fully working.
Nikolai looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as he slides his teeth against your neck again, this time applying only enough pressure to be noticeable, ghosting over your bruised and ruined skin.
Monotonously, he replies, "Then I won't stop," as though merely stating a fact and not deciding your fate. Your breath catches, holding it for a moment while he lets out a low growl of satisfaction.
An unwanted hiccup passes your lips, tears spilling from your eyes while squirming beneath him. The feeling of pain clouds your mind, your head spinning from the sensations he's causing.
"Keep struggling," he demands softly while his eyes flare with excitement.
"Niko...lai," you pant.
The man grins excitedly over you, seemingly taking this as a challenge as he increases his biting pressure. Nikolai's tongue licks around the areas he's previously bruised before his teeth sink into you just right, breath stopping again at the pain. The action happens twice more before he yanks on your hair, forcing your head to crane back to give him better access.
A yelp sounds from you as your grip tightens on Nikolai's shirt, knuckles turning paler as the fabric stretches under your hold. You whine out a pathetic pleeease, tears turning to big globs while squirming once again.
He doesn't let up though, choosing instead to slide his mouth down your neck in search of another sensitive spot.
With his teeth hovering over your shoulder, threatening to bite down once again, Nikolai whispers, "Tell me you'll stay.” His voice is soft, the gentle tone he uses making your mind hazy.
You hesitate contemplatively, trying to weigh your options. All you have to do is promise you'll stay and he'll stop, right? That's not such a bad trade. Why did you even want to leave again? He protects you, always doing things in your best interest, right? Sure, he's hurting you now, but it's only because you hurt him first when you tried to leave. If you had just stayed in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.
Honestly, this predicament is entirely your fault, isn't it?
"Wait," you still hesitate, feet moving back and forth to try and maintain blood flow as he continues to sit on your thighs. "I can't think," you gasp, tears still running off your cheeks. "I-I dunno!"
Nikolai wastes no time in biting as harshly as he can, a yell escaping your throat as you tug onto his shirt, accidentally bringing him closer for a moment. He pulls back after to stare down at you, eyes glaring nearly as harshly as the dig of his teeth a moment ago.
The glare drops into a look of adoration, a soft smile appearing on his face as well. "That's alright, dove," he speaks as sweetly as he looks at you, a hand resting gently on your cheek. "I can decide for you. That's what you want, right?"
Vision blurry from tears, your hands slowly relax against his shirt, the fabric now bunched up and stretched out as you move to hold his shoulders. Instead of replying, you merely wait for him to continue.
And he does, never one to stay quiet for long when he has something to prove. Right now, all Nikolai wants to do is prove you're his - it's all he's wanted to do since you tried to leave.
"My perfect, precious dove - sometimes it's hard to think for yourself. I understand. And I'm kind enough to recognize that you weren't in your right mind earlier," he punctuates his words a light kiss to the tip of your nose. Smiling down at you in a condescending form of understanding, one of his hands trails over the marks he left. It causes you to flinch, squirming for a moment beneath him as his feather-like touches still cause each bite to sting.
"They say opposites attract, right? My dove has never longed for freedom. That's why your little speech earlier about how you want to leave me left me surprised. But of course, that's not really what you want, is it? You just wanted to ruffle my feathers, get me all possessive." Nikolai sighs, still staring at you with adoration. "My perfect dove. You know I love teasing, but you're mighty cruel. Though I suppose I was, as well..."
A frown settles on Nikolai's lips, the guilt he's tried so hard to fight off settling in. "Okay, dove. I'll stop. We can be done for today." His voice is low as he speaks, soft and gentle as he presses another light kiss to your forehead.
While looking down at you, he delicately taps the tip of your nose after plastering on his adoring smile once more. "Let's get you cleaned up," he whispers. "I'll get the first aid kit. Stay here, okay?"
And you do.
Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You decline.
This is part of a series of standalone works about Nikolai Gogol. The rest can be found here including content warnings for each separate part.
general cw: yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry! "deline" cw: above + solidly dubcon, nikolai is the worst, sorry in advance
Pinned down onto Nikolai's couch, he sinks his teeth into you again and again, littering your skin with harsh bruises as he marks up your neck.
"Don't leave," he nearly growls, pressing gentle kisses over the bites.
You shift underneath him, shying away from his harshness. "Nikolai," comes out breathlessly, the sound catching in your throat as your hands grip his shirt tightly to try and keep yourself grounded.
The white-haired man looks at you beneath him as his hands clamp down on your waist, holding you tighter as he moves his lips to your shoulder. For a few moments, Nikolai plants kisses along your neck while you catch your breath. Just before you can fully calm down, his teeth are right back on your collarbone and biting down with reckless abandon.
"Stay," he growls once more, teeth digging in to send another batch of shockwaves all across your body.
You whimper beneath him, thrashing tirelessly under his hold. "Nooo!"
Hot breath against your skin and sharp teeth grazing your flesh overwhelms your senses, sending you into a spiral while his fingers trail up and down your arms gently. It's hard to soothe someone while also causing them pain, but Nikolai's ministrations lead to your thrashing subsiding, chest heaving up and down as you merely breathe against him.
"It hurts?" he asks hoarsely.
The only response he gets is a feverish nod. Your eyes are screwed shut as your hands fumble with his shirt, clenching and unclenching the black fabric. It's an attempt to ground yourself, but your stinging neck keeps it from fully working.
Nikolai looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as he slides his teeth against your neck again, this time applying only enough pressure to be noticeable, ghosting over your bruised and ruined skin.
Monotonously, he replies, "Then I won't stop," as though merely stating a fact and not deciding your fate. Your breath catches, holding it for a moment while he lets out a low growl of satisfaction.
An unwanted hiccup passes your lips, tears spilling from your eyes while squirming beneath him. The feeling of pain clouds your mind, your head spinning from the sensations he's causing.
"Keep struggling," he demands softly while his eyes flare with excitement.
"Niko...lai," you pant.
The man grins excitedly over you, seemingly taking this as a challenge as he increases his biting pressure. Nikolai's tongue licks around the areas he's previously bruised before his teeth sink into you just right, breath stopping again at the pain. The action happens twice more before he yanks on your hair, forcing your head to crane back to give him better access.
A yelp sounds from you as your grip tightens on Nikolai's shirt, knuckles turning paler as the fabric stretches under your hold. You whine out a pathetic pleeease, tears turning to big globs while squirming once again.
He doesn't let up though, choosing instead to slide his mouth down your neck in search of another sensitive spot.
With his teeth hovering over your shoulder, threatening to bite down once again, Nikolai whispers, "Tell me you'll stay.” His voice is soft, the gentle tone he uses making your mind hazy.
You hesitate contemplatively, trying to weigh your options. All you have to do is promise you'll stay and he'll stop, right? That's not such a bad trade. Why did you even want to leave again? He protects you, always doing things in your best interest, right? Sure, he's hurting you now, but it's only because you hurt him first when you tried to leave. If you had just stayed in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.
Honestly, this predicament is entirely your fault, isn't it?
"P-please," you still hesitate, feet moving back and forth to try and maintain blood flow as he continues to sit on your thighs. "I just w-want," you gasp, tears still running off your cheeks. "I wanna go!"
Nikolai wastes no time in biting as harshly as he can, a yell escaping your throat as you push on his chest. He pulls back to stare down at you, eyes glaring nearly as harshly as the dig of his teeth a moment ago.
The glare drops into a look of adoration, a soft smile appearing on his face as well. "I must've misheard you, dove," he speaks as sweetly as he looks at you. "Why, I could've sworn you said you want to go."
All-encompassing is Nikolai's scent as he leans down to nuzzle against you, his nose brushing against the side of your face for a moment. "But that doesn't make sense, does it?" He whispers against your skin.
"Because," he presses a kiss to your left cheek, "why on earth," and then your right cheek, "would you want that?" He grins, his lips now only a few inches away from yours.
With a dramatic sigh he pulls back, sitting upright now while still on your thighs. "If my dove really wants to leave, then who am I to stop her? But be warned, any man you try to move on with will never be as good as I. You'll forever think of me - my lips, my teeth - as you fuck useless, unworthy men.
"And then," he beams maliciously, "I'll climb in through your window after and finally get you off, biting and marking you while the other man watches." Nikolai's hands dig into your side, fingers gripping your waist in a way that makes you yelp.
"You are mine. And if I have to watch you play with other losers before you accept that, then they have to watch me properly please you."
Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You... cw: yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry!
...decline. cw: above + solidly dubcon, nikolai is the worst, sorry in advance
...are unsure. cw: above + condescending manipulation (making decisions for you?), could be seen as kidnapping?
...agree. cw: above, he's the best here probably, you might be into it a bit more here oops
Hello I’m new here, I just couldn’t help but notices how lovely you write. So I have little request for you.
Can I request Nikolai and any characters you want reaction when their s/o hides stuff between her breasts?
omg welcome just my drunk friend! tysm!!!! i love nikolai im on it 🫡 and dazai ofc..
has: no pronouns used but mention of boobs and bras, also one (1) use of the word tits. is that worthy of a warning? probably not. but Nikolai says it in a weird way bc he’s the worst so just in case 🤞🏻
You knock feverishly on Nikolai’s door. Fuck, where did you leave your key? You’d already made it back to your apartment when you realized it wasn’t in your pockets. The last place you were was Nikolai’s, so if he didn’t have it you aren’t sure who would.
“Nikolai, you dick,” you mutter under your breath. That asshole is definitely still awake, so why wasn’t he answering the door?
The knocking ceases as Nikolai swings the door open, hair unbraided and eyes glimmering. “Missed me that badly?” He leans forward, bending down slightly to maneuver his face just above yours. “You could’ve called, y’know.”
“Yeah, well,” you shrug. “I need to come in.”
“Pushy!~” He pouts, crossing his arms and standing up straight. “Not even gonna say hello?”
A groan passes your lips, too frustrated at your missing key to play his games. “You didn’t.” You pause momentarily. It’s less frustration and more so anxiety that makes your skin crawl and your tone snippy. “Sorry, I just lost my key. I’m worried I dropped it on the street walking home.”
Eyes lighting up, you would’ve sworn Nikolai beamed down at you with two mismatched flashlights. “You need your key, you say? And what if I told you I could procure it for you?”
Your shoulders slump down, relaxing. He’s being an asshole, sure, but at least you know he has it. “Please, Nikolai?”
“Mm… You gotta promise not to be mad when I retrieve it. Especially since I’ll be your savior, you know!” He puffs out his chest, already proud before he has even produced the key.
“I promise, I’ll be eternally grateful as long as I can find that key.”
Nikolai’s warm and ungloved hand slips under your loose shirt collar, digging beneath your bra and in between your breasts. You freeze, even with the warmth of his hand on you. Before you can chew him out for the random grope, the jester pulls your apartment key from in between, flashing both it and a wolfish grin to you.
You say nothing for a moment, just staring slack jawed at your key. Had you really..?
“You dropped it in there before you left,” he shrugs before dropping the key back in between your breasts, not bothering to hand it to you properly. “And I just stare at your tits all the time, so I noticed.”
With a gentle smack to his bicep, you fish the key out once more and let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god; I thought I was going to have to change my locks!”
“You still should - I have, like, several copies of your apartment key littered around my apartment,” Nikolai smiles once more.
You don’t even bother replying, just turning around and leaving his place for the second time that night, your apartment key in hand.
Dazai would start hiding things in there too. He tosses a pen your way before heading out on a mission, one where he knows you can’t bring a bag along, just to watch as you stuff it in between your breasts. You’d sigh resignedly, used to his actions by this point and having long given up arguing or telling him off.
When on said mission, he’d find any and every reason that one might need a pen and turn to you expectantly, waiting for you to pull it out and hold it out for him. It’s always so warm after, heated up from its time nestled between where he’d like to be stashed away.
You’d complain after he asks for the pen for the nth time, telling him if he needs to use it so often he can get one himself! Those words were meant to tell him to bring/carry his own pen, but he’d grinned before taking that as meaning he could jam his hand down your shirt to reach for it himself.
“What? You told me to grab it myself…”
hiii! how about ~any bsd characters of your choice~ when they make you cry for the first time during an argument? (maybe they say something mean, weaponize your insecurities, tell you to shut up (yeah, i'm sensitive to this heh), won't listen to you, etc)
yayyy any of my choice!!! that means my faves dazai and nikolai <3 love u anon
cw: intimacy ? "fuck" is used multiple times, u call urself an escort
A soft breath left your lips as you stared at your ceiling. Without even looking at the clock, you were sure it read some time past 12. You had quite a late night, even just the thought causing you to feel tired again. Closing your eyes tightly, you buried your face into your pillow, turning over in bed to do so.
The movement is followed by a deep chuckle from beside you, causing your eyes to snap open in surprise for a moment. There he is: the man who kept you up.
"Oh, you're still here." You spoke before thinking, the words coming out of your mouth as merely an observation.
"Ouch," he smirked, his hand reaching out to gently brush some hair from your face. "Good morning. Or should I say good afternoon, hm?"
"Um, sure. Thanks for last night, I suppose." Is that what he's waiting on? Acknowledgment? You pull the covers further up, making to sure cover as much of your torso as you can.
Your ex boyfriend only smirked, fingers trailing down your body just above the thick blankets. He propped his head up on one hand, elbow sinking slightly into your mattress. The way the afternoon sun danced between his brown curls made you think of last night, and how nice it felt to grip his soft hair once again. The thought makes you sigh, turning away from him to gaze at the ceiling once more.
"Hey, so, um, I gotta get ready. I have plans later..." you trail off, hoping he'll take the hint. Your ex has always been smart, especially socially - he'll understand.
And he does, for the most part, but he doesn't care. "Kicking me out already? The day just started. I thought you'd at least offer me a bowl of cereal before sending me away." His tone is teasing, the same smug smirk sitting prettily on his lips. "What are your plans, then? Anything I can tag along for?"
The incredulous look on your face gives away your confusion. "What..? No. Hey, thanks again for last night, but this is where we part. You got what you wanted, didn't you?"
He pouts at your words before sitting up. "Yeah, fine. I got what I wanted. Didn't realize this was just a fuck for you."
"Are you saying for you this was more?" You asked genuinely.
"No, I just thought it might have been more for you," he replies dismissively. Standing up, he begins pulling on his pants. "Have fun on your date, then."
You nod, unaware of his trap as you reply genuinely. "Thanks, I'll try."
He pauses, one leg in his pant leg and the other hovering just above it. "So you are prepping for a date."
Looking at him curiously, you nod. "Mhm, yeah. I was chatting with someone on Tinder. Figured I shouldn't go running to my ex whenever I need a good fuck."
He scoffs. "You think you can get a good fuck anywhere else?"
"That's what I'm tryna find out. Put on your pants, please."
"I guess it's my fault then, hm?" His eyes narrowed at you, giving nothing away as he remained frustrated and angry.
"...Fault for what?" You were confused, unaware as to what he was hinting at.
Your ex grits his teeth, feeling annoyed at your obliviousness. "For thinking we might actually get back together."
His words left you stunned for a moment, watching in silence he pulled his pants on the rest of the way. With a rather solemn expression, he shook his head in defeat and put his shirt on quickly. "There's my answer, then," he murmured, more to himself than you as he turned to leave.
Anger coursed through your body. How dare he play the hurt victim now? "Hey, fuck you!" You shouted without thinking. What a colossal asshole! "The night I broke up with you, you told me you never even liked me in the first place! And now what, you suddenly wanna 'rekindle what we had?' What did we have, Dazai? Please, enlighten me, because I find myself remembering that our whole relationship was just you talking down to me and treating me like some second-rate escort! I'm sorry for wanting more," you unloaded. Every thought that had been bouncing around in your head moved out of the way as you admitted what had been eating at you during the year of your relationship together. "It was our one year anniversary, you know, when I finally called it quits. Did you even remember?"
He didn't; of course not. You could just tell by his continued silence and the way he glanced away.
Tears brimmed your eyes. The only thing worse than his condescending remarks was the silence. You couldn't stand his quiet behavior, even when you were together - it screamed pity, and that's the last thing you wanted from someone who always knew what to say. "Get the fuck out of my house." You flopped back against your bed, burying your face into a soft pillow for the second time since waking up less than 10 minutes ago.
The sound of his feet pattering away is unheard by you, barely able to hear anything over the ringing in your head. As silently as you can, you sob into your pillow, feeling hurt and used by your stupid ex boyfriend.
Nikolai, in his crusade for emotional freedom, sometimes found himself treating you in a way that was less than ideal. He liked starting arguments with you, “proving” he didn’t love you as much as he clearly did and definitely wasn’t willing to do anything you asked. It was always over small things, like who made dinner (he’d get mad if you made it since he wanted to treat you or get mad that he’d have to make it since he always does) or how you hogged the blankets at night. Because of this, you usually overlooked it — you understand that it’s his way of proving his freedom and it never devolved into anything more.
Until today, that is. You could hardly remember what the argument was originally about, but he just kept pushing…
“Nikolai, I don’t even know what I did wrong.” Tears were starting to gather in your eyes, making them puffy and glazed over. The more he raised his voice, the more you shrunk in on yourself.
“That’s the problem! How could you not know?!” He took a step closer, towering over you with his large frame.
It was almost hard to breathe, panic coursing through your veins as you suddenly pushed him away with every ounce of strength you had. Silence coursed between the two of you, air tense and uncomfortable. Your tears finally spill once you notice how your hands are shaking. Fine, if he wanted to be free, then far be it from you to stop him.
Wiping your cheeks, you weakly reply, “Get out of my apartment.”
The white haired man paused, waiting to see if you meant it. You didn’t, not really, but it’s embarrassing to admit that when you gaze at your fearfully shaking hands. This isn’t how a boyfriend should treat his partner.
“Please, Nikolai…” You’d fold, you always did, so you resorted to begging while you still had the courage.
That courage wavers fully as his hands rested on your hips, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “It’s my fault, baby,” he whispers. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll get you flowers, and we can order your favorite takeout and have a picnic in the living room while watching your favorite movie…” His thumbs brushed the fresh tears away before both hands grabbed yours. “The last thing I want is for my dove to be scared of me, I swear. I love you more than anything, you’re all I want,” he presses soft kisses against your knuckles, “please, just let me stay...”
You fold.
thank you for this bc i have been ITCHING to write for nikolai my wife my girlfriend my lover (I HAVENT WRITTEN FOR HIM B4 SORRY)
Fyolai! Or rather a more one-sided version
I think that's my first time drawing Fyodor.
And a sketch where fyodor looks very annoyed at the camera
I originally wanted him to write something, which gave me an idea
:What if Fyodor was actually left-handed but made himself use his right hand because being left-handed was seen as a bad and a devilish(?) thing
Idk, I have nothing to base this on
but I'm pretty sure that people used to teach their kids to write with their right hand even if they were left-handed
I also don't know how true that is, but I know that my grandma did that with my dad
The way all Nikolai talks about is freedom but his actions are completely opposite.
He kills to prove that he does not feel guilt, that he is free from emotions, that he does not get trapped or get tied down to it. But he does feel it, hence why he keeps acting against it. Creating an endless cycle of torture, his own endless cycle of torture.
rip nikolai gogol you would have loved skibidi toilet
because i was obviously not utterly destroyed by his "death"
Originally I didn't plan on drawing Nikolai, but... He makes the whole drawing cuter ><
Изначально я не планировала добавлять сюда Николая, но... С ним эта работа милее, как по мне><
Quick question, how do you guys think Nikolai dresses, in like a no powers, normal lifes au (my college au). I have a vision for what styles each of them would go for but Nikolai! I can't think of anything for him (other than the adidas sweatpants™ of course)!
Sigma the #1 fifth wheel 🏆🥳. Nikolai framed this and hung this up on their (Sigma's) kitchen wall later.
Note to self: DO NOT get into Chuuya's car after he's had a heated argument with Dazai! No matter how cold it is outside!
- Sigma
College au shenanigans, winter edition:
Fyodor's anemic ass freezes to death so he wears a bunch of layers
Dazai hates the winter because seasonal depression gets him every time. He also despises the cold and freezes easily so a bunch of layers and the scarf that Chuuya almost strangels him with every morning it is.
Chuuya (Dazai's personal heater) doesn't get cold easily but he still overdress because he's a fashion icon ✨️.
Nikolai doesn't fear the cold, the cold fears him! He walks around in a t-shirt like a psychopath but still carries his jacket around in case Dos - kun needs it.
Sigma can't stand the summer heat so the winter is like a blessing to him. He dresses cozily and is in a seemingly better mood untill he sees Nikolai emerging outside in his t-shirt.
Since you guys seemed to like the incorrect quote thing and my college AU a lot, I decided to combine the two this time. Here's the funniest stuff i gathered.
Let me introduce you to my College AU 👏 I randomly tought of this some time after watching the events in Merasault. Just wanted to take the sillies and put them into a situation where they didn't need to kill each other. Now they do this instead of studying for their exams.
PS: pls click on image for high res because it keeps looking blurry and I have no idea how to fix it, if you do pls let me know.
If Nikolai killed fyodor and fyodor became him it would be is ultimate freedom he would be free from his body and emotions as fyodor would takeover and peal off his skin removing Nikolai’s “overcoat”
quick Nikolai doodle I did on my phone bc I forgot my pen at my mom's house
refs under
i love how we add +lai or +zai at the and of everything that slighlty relates to nikolai or dazai. laizai. but what's their ship name?
Nikolai is so bbygirl
finally drew nikolai!!
Wips and Doodles from the past month + extra watercolour stuff :))
UH - UHM uhm UHM I- UHM 🫶🏾❤️???????
yo.
FYOLAI IN MY STYLE o(^o^)o
made 'em androgynous 👍
nikolai bsd art!!!
I'm experimenting with art styles and i think this one is my overall favourite. I'm not sure why, I just think it's pleasing to look at. anyway, in case you voted on the poll, this is NOT the result, just a little doodle I did ages ago (4 days). Go vote on my poll now!!
BSD QUESTION
fellow bsd fans, please share your favourite characters for a little thingy that I'm doing (it's a secret) but instead of commenting just go to the 'ask me anything' thing and say there. I'd love to see you guys' answers! I will also follow and reply to whoever has the best opinion..