If you are not disabled, especially if your not physically disabled or use a mobility aid, DO NOT tell us how to do things or what we should do to help us.
Today, I definitely should have been using my cane at school, but was I going to? No. Absolutely not. Being physically disabled in highschool is very hard and I am not at a point in my disability journey where I am comfortable just using my cane out and about in public, especially in school.
That being said, I was doing my normal thing and talking to some friends and being like oh yeah today I would’ve benefited from using my cane whilst out and about. After saying that, one if my friends, who is not physically disabled and has never experienced being physically disabled or using an aid, started going on and on about how I should just use it if I need to and not care about what people think. While I do agree to a certain degree, its a lot easier said than done. I am already mocked and made fun of, being a trans and neurodivergent person in high school.
I might be overreacting, but I don’t think people who aren’t physically disabled or use aids should be able to dictate what we do to help ourselves or when we do it. You are not in my shoes, you do not experience what I experience, do not tell me what to do.
(Sorry if it was aggressive, Ive been thinking about it all day)
something that might be hard to grasp is that. physically disabled people can do everything "right", follow all the recommended programs from doctors and medical practitioners and lose weight and do this exercise and that diet and this and that and they still can stay disabled. they still can get worse.
and it's imperative to understand that. doing things this way can be soul crushing. it's difficult, if not impossible for some people. and many people will not be able to do things "right" and will stay disabled or get worse. some people might, accidentally or on purpose, make their disability worse themselves. and those people don't deserve to be disabled any more than people who you think doesn't.
we cannot, cannot assign a moral value to disability. disability isn't a punishment for doing right or wrong. it is not a judgement. there is no moral value associated with being disabled.
people you find wonderful will be disabled. people who you think suck will be physically disabled. people who had no pre-existing condition, who did everything "right" and were healthy before will be disabled. people who had absolutely no means to change their lifestyle, because of poverty or location or some systematic issue, will be disabled. and people will be disabled as a direct result of their choices.
none of that, absolutely none of it, is an indication of whether that person "deserves" to be disabled or not. none of it is a reflection of their moral character. disability is simply a neutral fact of life.
it is possible for someone to be 'more disabled' than you, and that's okay. all it means is that they have higher support needs and their disability disables them more than yours does.
that is not an attack on your validity as a disabled person.
that does not mean that you are not disabled.
someone else's disability has no impact on your own. there will always be someone more disabled than you. that is completely okay.