Isn’t it funny?
A tear turns into sniffles turns into sobbing turns into six years old with hands outstretched.
Hands soon to be smacked away by the bite of thoughtless words.
Hands that learn it’s better to cinch at the waist lest they get smacked once again.
Hands that soon don’t even bother to squeeze back once taken back in an effort to mend.
The tears that don’t seem to stop, even when the pain has long since passed.
The urge to cling and beg for mother’s attention that will not be given.
A woman who is not at fault, but will shoulder the blame anyway because to place it elsewhere is to place it on the intangible.
A woman who sleeps only a room away yet stays ten years out of reach.
1. We would miss you. 2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again… 19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day 20. Listening to incredibly loud music 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soulmate. 24. Red pandas 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on roadtrips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Treehouses 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees 56. I don’t even know you and I love you. 57. I don’t even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS! 61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is. 65. You’ve changed somebody’s life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life. 70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things. 71. Making snow angels. 72. Making snowmen. 73. Snowball fights. 74. Life is what you make of it. 75. Everybody has a talent. 76. Laughing until you cry. 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy. 78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist. 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down 80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive. 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero. 82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. 83. One day your smile will be real. 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds. 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends. 87. Eating crazy food. 88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one. 89. Sleeping in all day. 90. Creating something you’re proud of. 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends. 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate 94. Sherlock season three. 95. Cuddling under the stars. 96. Being stupid in public because you just can. 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? 98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this. 100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen
IF that isn’t enough:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433 LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453 UK Helplines: Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111 Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600 Drinkline: 0800 9178282 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614 India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669 Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7 suicide hotlines; Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430 Australia: 13-11-14 Austria: 01-713-3374 Barbados: 429-9999 Belgium: 106 Botswana: 391-1270 Brazil: 21-233-9191 China: 852-2382-0000 (Hong Kong: 2389-2222) Costa Rica: 606-253-5439 Croatia: 01-4833-888 Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67 Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908 Denmark: 70-201-201 Egypt: 762-1602 Estonia: 6-558-088 Finland: 040-5032199 France: 01-45-39-4000 Germany: 0800-181-0721 Greece: 1018 Guatemala: 502-234-1239 Holland: 0900-0767 Honduras: 504-237-3623 Hungary: 06-80-820-111 Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90 Ireland: 1800-247-100 Israel: 09-8892333 Italy: 06-705-4444 Japan: 3-5286-9090 Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292 Malaysia: 03-756-8144 (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444) Mexico: 525-510-2550 Netherlands: 0900-0767 New Zealand: 4-473-9739 New Guinea: 675-326-0011 Nicaragua: 505-268-6171 Norway: 47-815-33-300 Philippines: 02-896-9191 Poland: 52-70-000 Portugal: 239-72-10-10 Russia: 8-20-222-82-10 Serbia: 21-6623-393 Spain: 91-459-00-50 South Africa: 0861-322-322 South Korea: 2-715-8600 Sweden: 031-711-2400 Switzerland: 143 Taiwan: 0800-788-995 Thailand: 02-249-9977 Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800 Ukraine: 0487-327715 Uruguay: 095 73 8483 You will be missing out on every single wonderful thing yet to happen to you.
We are a whole lifetime away.
Then why are we pretending to be closer?
With every hour that fades as the morning comes,
we move away from each other slowly.
Like the ticking of a tired clock,
the moments we stole are going too fast.
I never want to let go of your hand,
but when morning comes how do I make you stay?
I don't have any thing more to give you,
and all that you can say has already been said.
We knew we'll fade with the first sunrise.
But then why does letting go feel so much like dying.
I wish the night could stretch on for eternity.
Hold each other here under the soft moonlight.
We're meant to walk away from the other,
but our hearts can't help run back to each other.
There are a million stars in the sky tonight,
but there are a million more unshed tears in our eyes.
The horizon is starting to turn pink now.
Your hand is too warm to let go.
Sunrises are the most beautiful thing there is.
But not when it takes you away from me.
Let this sunrise come and go.
Maybe we can close our eyes and pretend the night is still young.
I used to listen to songs when chatting with friends, sometimes the songs are on repeat and then I start associating those songs with them. Everytime the songs come on, I naturally think about them and the conversations we've had. And then one day, he left. I listened to a variety of songs from plenty of my playlists that I started losing my mind when each one came on. I deleted them all, even the ones I've loved as much as him. It was better this way, because when the songs come on and he's not there, I don't know what to do with all the useless tunes, words and melodies that rise within me. What do I do with all the love and songs left inside of me that once used to belong to us?
© Raina Rose.
He loves similar and the simplest of things that I've loved my whole life. He sees the very same moon and stars that I gaze upon every night, have we been living under the same sky all these years without realizing? I've been talking to the moon, perhaps, he was there too...
© Raina Rose.
Where did you come from, I'll never know. What you're doing to me, I'll never understand. How did you get this close, I didn't plan on it either. When do you intend to go, I don't wish to know...
Stay,
© Raina Rose.
I packed my bags and got ready to leave. Took a last glimpse and kissed him on his lips. This was goodbye. I picked up my bags and started walking, wait, my hands trembled and I couldn't move. Suddenly, the brave decision I made last night crumbled to pieces as he tossed over in bed and reached out searching for me in thin air. There there love, I'm right here, where I've been, where I'll always be, right by your side even when it's killing me...
© Raina Rose.
Monday, you promised you'd come home, the door was left open.
Tuesday, a little late but I thought I could wait.
Wednesday, I went through the laundry to find your clothes, hoping they still smelled like you.
Thursday, tasted a lot like you when I emptied the bottle of bourbon.
Friday, I was sober enough to think again but you were still missing.
Saturday, I got a call asking if I'd written the eulogy.
Sunday, I realized you were never coming home again...
© Raina Rose.
His eyes held a glimpse of another world, an ocean of love; one I wish to drown in. The only thing left to do now is surrender. For to be that close to him, you can't help but fall in love, over and over again...
© Raina Rose.
Maybe I'm in a daze, not completely awake, but if I could be anywhere in the world right now, I'd be there with you...
© Raina Rose.
You're the song I wish to fall asleep to every night. You're the song I listen to on repeat and never tire of. You're the song that keeps me company even when I'm crowded by a thousand. You're the kind of song that makes my heart flutter. You're the song I know every lyric to by heart. You're the song that gets me excited just by having the music come on through a melody. You're the song that makes me smile even when I can't. You're the song that makes me fall in love all over again. You're the song I'll dance to dressed in white with the one I've loved, for I've loved you...
© Raina Rose.
I've missed plenty, but never this way, it feels like a part of me left and has yet to return. I can't help but feel incomplete whenever I'm not with you.
Come home love,
R.
I think I'll always love him. You can argue, like spring and summer, the seasons are bound to change. But baby no, this will always stay the same.
I think I'll always love him. You can fight this war a million ways, but this is a battle I've chosen over and over to stay.
I think I'll always love him. You'll tire your routine one day, look, he's not even looking your way. That's true, he'll tire of looking this way, that's why my heart says, we won't let him lose his way.
I'll always love him but no he won't stay, that's okay, I've been here on my own anyways...
© Raina Rose.