Relationship Advice - Blog Posts
I think it’s so so SO important to show love in ways other than buying loads of stuff, and that goes for both parties in all relationships.
The commodification of love through trends like elaborate Valentine’s Day proposals and boo baskets make cringe so hard thinking of the environmental impact. Obviously there are exceptions, but most I have seen are people are buying random themed junk that won’t get used year-round (does anyone really need a polyester pumpkin-print blanket?)
Social media tells us that showing we care has a dollar figure attached. For women in general, but also for femmes in a butchfemme dynamic, the prevailing narrative is that if our partners aren’t spending money on grand romantic gestures and buying us gifts all the time, they don’t truly love us. Really, this mentality only benefits corporations.
Gift giving can be a beautiful and heartfelt expression of love - when done with consideration. When you give a gift, make sure it is meaningful and the recipient can used for years to come. Choose mostly to express your love for your partner, your friends and family, and your wider community in ways that benefit you and the earth, rather than Jeff Bezos.
casual reminder that you can still spoil your femme without feeding into consumerism <3
write them notes n love letters, cook them their favorite meal, bake them a treat, steal them something from a shitty corporation, spoil them with words of affirmation and gratitude, bring back a pretty rock shell leaf etc. from an outdoor trip you had, proudly show off photos of yourself or photos you took, lend them your favorite book with a note abt why it's your favorite, put the towel in the dryer before they're out of the shower n wrap them in it, pick out outfits from their wardrobe you think they'd be cute in so they can show off for you, give them your undivided attention & ask encouraging questions, etc etc etc
I feel so stupid. I’m not happy, and haven’t been for so long now. He steadily tells me he’s not trying and he is an asshole on purpose and he can’t tell me what I’ve done to cause this he just says he knows that I’m lying, I need some real advice. I love him, and we have been through a lot. I’ve not cheated on him but he cheated on me. Of course it was my fault because of what I was doing he says and I take care of my mother, that’s my job. So I’ve been trying to get approved to get paid since I can no longer work, it’s been a long hard rd, so I do not what I can on her good days to make some money, I shouldn’t but I smoke cigs, I’m female so I have certain things that my moms check can’t cover nor would I let her pay my way, she worked a couple of jobs 3 at one time if I remember correctly during my high school years so she deserves her check to be and do for her, so , I clean a house boat periodically, or a house/apartments, a couple of businesses, when they call, and I’m able to do so. And my work hours are never 8-5, it’s always random and it has to be that way. We discussed this before we got back together this last time, somewhere along the way he got upset, and just assuming I knew he was bothered he told everyone except me by the time I realized I was hearing about him cheating and I still have not wronged him but he doesn’t believe me. I feel like this has been a couple of years now and I feel like I’m still paying for it! He goes from hot to cold. I feel like I walk on eggshells the better I try and be he stays his same asshole. I know deep down that I don’t deserve this but I continue to allow it and take it when I try to get him to move out he always ends up staying and still the same. What is he trying to do to me is he torturing me on purpose…. I can’t win. He knows that I love him, I do any and everything that I can for him and it’s never appreciated or acknowledged really and I’m lonely. I begged him to just please move out. Be done with me if I’m so bad. I can’t take living like this and he kinda changes up a little and just when I think we might make it, he just stops coming to the bed to sleep and starts his attitude like I basically can’t speak to him until he does me without him snapping, and guy he sounds like a monster kinda from what I’m saying but as far as a person or friend goes he’s amazing but it’s like he gets back with me and I’m the worst enemy. I stay so confused and I’ve got some personal things going that I’m tryin to get worked out so I’ve been sick for about 2 months and idk I just don’t know what to do anymore any words of advice or ideas HELP THIS IS BREAKING ME
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